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Good Fences: The Boundaries of Hospitality
Hospitality and inclusion are important to the Church. Monastic communities are held up as a model, opening their doors to those who need a place to rest. But they also place boundaries on that hospitality, asking guests to observe house rules, and maintaining a cloistered area where guests are not permitted. "Good fences make good neighbors," wrote Robert Frost. Drawing on her training as a biologist and church consultant, Caroline Westerhoff explores the theological questions raised by boundaries. Filled with stories of actual families and communities, this book is excellent reading for church leaders and for individuals who want to be inclusive and yet maintain boundaries in their lives. John Westerhoff's study questions make this a helpful resource for parish study groups.
192 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 13, 2019
...The Boundaries of Hospitality, is a real WOW! for me--one I need to be read and read again for the insights Caroline Westerhoff offers and maybe especially for the affirmations of what I'm trying hard to do in my own life right now.
Chapter 5, "Connections," discusses defining ourselves in terms of how we will and won't permit people to act toward us, regarding how we pronounce our names (and inform or not inform the speaker of the right pronunciation)... not only speaking up about the name that connects us with our own life-story and at times with a biological family of origin's history and genealogy, but also speaking up when we're violated by not being heard, being disregarded, belittled or demeaned. Caroline (I'll call her and hope I'm pronouncing it right) also insists we need people in our lives who know our social and cultural locations, who care enough about who we are to listen to our stories--in other words, our name, both spoken and spelled.
...neighborhood or community? White academic-type liberals still seem fond of referring to "The Black Community," though forever I've responded there is no such thing in any kind of cohesive, definable, recognizable cultural, social or ethnic sense. Anything but! I resonated with the author's vignette of happening upon an Atlanta neighborhood she didn't know existed because I'd had a similar experience when I was going somewhere in a former city of residence and work, must have gotten lost, and found myself in a desolate-appearing space I'd never seen before, where most of the windows were broken or boarded-up, grass didn't exist, litter, trash and glass was strewn all over, sidewalks and streets were even worse-off than elsewhere in the city, but it seemed totally residential, with scattered random people sitting out on the stoops of ancient rowhouses and tenement housing.
Thinking about my experiences of exclusion, those from the church have been most painful, but maybe because they haven't surprised me too much in some sense I've come close to saying it's been okay, which it hasn't been at all. I won't re-count the countless examples here. But inclusion? So few individual and communities I've encountered have possessed and practiced gifts of hospitality fully or partially in the Image of the Divinely welcoming and embracing One.
To read in a bound book that expecting and needing to find connections when I go to a new situation is wonderful! But your story may be different from mine, I suspect and predict this book will make you think about some of your past experiences for good and not-good and may lead you to reconsider your expectations.
Chapter 5, "Connections," discusses defining ourselves in terms of how we will and won't permit people to act toward us, regarding how we pronounce our names (and inform or not inform the speaker of the right pronunciation)... not only speaking up about the name that connects us with our own life-story and at times with a biological family of origin's history and genealogy, but also speaking up when we're violated by not being heard, being disregarded, belittled or demeaned. Caroline (I'll call her and hope I'm pronouncing it right) also insists we need people in our lives who know our social and cultural locations, who care enough about who we are to listen to our stories--in other words, our name, both spoken and spelled.
...neighborhood or community? White academic-type liberals still seem fond of referring to "The Black Community," though forever I've responded there is no such thing in any kind of cohesive, definable, recognizable cultural, social or ethnic sense. Anything but! I resonated with the author's vignette of happening upon an Atlanta neighborhood she didn't know existed because I'd had a similar experience when I was going somewhere in a former city of residence and work, must have gotten lost, and found myself in a desolate-appearing space I'd never seen before, where most of the windows were broken or boarded-up, grass didn't exist, litter, trash and glass was strewn all over, sidewalks and streets were even worse-off than elsewhere in the city, but it seemed totally residential, with scattered random people sitting out on the stoops of ancient rowhouses and tenement housing.
Thinking about my experiences of exclusion, those from the church have been most painful, but maybe because they haven't surprised me too much in some sense I've come close to saying it's been okay, which it hasn't been at all. I won't re-count the countless examples here. But inclusion? So few individual and communities I've encountered have possessed and practiced gifts of hospitality fully or partially in the Image of the Divinely welcoming and embracing One.
To read in a bound book that expecting and needing to find connections when I go to a new situation is wonderful! But your story may be different from mine, I suspect and predict this book will make you think about some of your past experiences for good and not-good and may lead you to reconsider your expectations.
July 16, 2021
Not much about personal/individual hospitality. This book addresses boundaries surrounding church fellowship, inclusion, identity, and welcoming of outsiders. “The divine hand is always extended in invitation, and our hands are to be extended as well. The resulting posture looks something like a cross.”
August 18, 2007
Excellent discussion of what church communities mean to us and how they can mean more; also how we can keep them from meaning less.
September 10, 2007
Good book for a group study.
September 16, 2007
reading for Revgalblogpals book discussion
April 3, 2011
We read this for our Daughters of the King book study. It just didn't "work" for me. SIGH
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews