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The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place
Making conscientious choices about technology in our families is more than just using internet filters and determining screen time limits for our children. It's about developing wisdom, character, and courage in the way we use digital media rather than accepting technology's promises of ease, instant gratification, and the world's knowledge at our fingertips. And it's definitely not just about the kids.Drawing on in-depth original research from the Barna Group, Andy Crouch shows readers that the choices we make about technology have consequences we may never have considered. He takes readers beyond the typical questions of what, where, and when and instead challenges them to answer provocative questions like, Who do we want to be as a family? and How does our use of a particular technology move us closer or farther away from that goal? Anyone who has felt their family relationships suffer or their time slip away amid technology's distractions will find in this book a path forward to reclaiming their real life in a world of devices.
189 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 18, 2017
1339 people are currently reading
12057 people want to read
About the author
Andy Crouch
29 books393 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
For twelve years Andy was an editor and producer at Christianity Today (CT), including serving as executive editor from 2012 to 2016. He joined the John Templeton Foundation in 2017 as senior strategist for communication. His work and writing have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Time, and several editions of Best Christian Writing and Best Spiritual Writing—and, most importantly, received a shout-out in Lecrae's 2014 single "Non-Fiction." He serves on the governing boards of Fuller Theological Seminary and the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities.
From 1998 to 2003, Andy was the editor-in-chief of re:generation quarterly, a magazine for an emerging generation of culturally creative Christians. For ten years he was a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Harvard University. He studied classics at Cornell University and received an M.Div. summa cum laude from Boston University School of Theology. A classically trained musician who draws on pop, folk, rock, jazz, and gospel, he has led musical worship for congregations of 5 to 20,000.
For twelve years Andy was an editor and producer at Christianity Today (CT), including serving as executive editor from 2012 to 2016. He joined the John Templeton Foundation in 2017 as senior strategist for communication. His work and writing have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Time, and several editions of Best Christian Writing and Best Spiritual Writing—and, most importantly, received a shout-out in Lecrae's 2014 single "Non-Fiction." He serves on the governing boards of Fuller Theological Seminary and the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities.
From 1998 to 2003, Andy was the editor-in-chief of re:generation quarterly, a magazine for an emerging generation of culturally creative Christians. For ten years he was a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Harvard University. He studied classics at Cornell University and received an M.Div. summa cum laude from Boston University School of Theology. A classically trained musician who draws on pop, folk, rock, jazz, and gospel, he has led musical worship for congregations of 5 to 20,000.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,231 reviews
April 16, 2018
A friend gifted this book to my husband after we had a baby (she’s ten months old now, so it’s taken me a long time to get through) because we realized we are facing a huge dilemma in raising this kid that our parents didn’t face when raising us: how do you navigate the inescapable presence of technology and devices? The reason why I only gave three stars is because some parts had me rolling my eyes — like this sentence: “I do almost all of my writing, almost all of which requires a screen, in twenty-four minute intervals, punctuated by six- to thirty-minute rest periods that give me a chance to weed the garden, walk around the block, brew tea, wash dishes, practice a page of Bach, or otherwise engage my full body.” There was also a brief mention that out of the 71% of parents in a survey who claim to guide their family based on a core set of values, “few of them have written out a purpose statement or mission for their family.” Is this something I’m supposed to do, like my family is a tech startup? I also would like to know how many times the words “intentional” and “cultivate” are used.
However, the crazy thing about this book is that over the months it has taken for me to get through it, I’ve actually changed a lot of my habits related to technology, I believe, for the better. For example, I bought a bamboo charging station I keep in the living room where my husband and I “put our phones to bed” at night so our room is device free. I had to buy a regular alarm clock, too. I actually love this now that I’m used to it, and I get better sleep. We also bought an upright piano for our living room so the center of the house is a place to create, not just consume others’ work on our devices and TV. These are just two ideas given in the book to meet its ten “tech-wise” commandments. Overall, rather than giving advice on parenting, this book has reminded me how important it is to have my own creative pursuits and not just reach for my phone when I’m bored.
So overall, yes, I felt like this book was pretentious and some of its ideals seem impossible to meet, but at the same time, if you shoot for the moon, you’ll land somewhere in between the earth and the moon, and that’s a good thing.
However, the crazy thing about this book is that over the months it has taken for me to get through it, I’ve actually changed a lot of my habits related to technology, I believe, for the better. For example, I bought a bamboo charging station I keep in the living room where my husband and I “put our phones to bed” at night so our room is device free. I had to buy a regular alarm clock, too. I actually love this now that I’m used to it, and I get better sleep. We also bought an upright piano for our living room so the center of the house is a place to create, not just consume others’ work on our devices and TV. These are just two ideas given in the book to meet its ten “tech-wise” commandments. Overall, rather than giving advice on parenting, this book has reminded me how important it is to have my own creative pursuits and not just reach for my phone when I’m bored.
So overall, yes, I felt like this book was pretentious and some of its ideals seem impossible to meet, but at the same time, if you shoot for the moon, you’ll land somewhere in between the earth and the moon, and that’s a good thing.
June 14, 2017
Andy Crouch is among the first parents to have nurtured children from clearly-too-young-to-have-a-smartphone to now-old-enough, during a time in which smartphones were in fact available for that whole period. It's only been ten years since the iPhone's debut. And in that time Crouch's eldest child went from eight (too young) to eighteen (old enough). So Crouch is able to speak from a place of not just wisdom but also experience. In fact, his "Crouch Family Reality Checks" at the end of most chapters, little sections that revealed how well his family lived up to his stated ideals, give the book a weight I haven't felt in other writings on this topic. Even when he had to admit his failures to be fully wise in the formation of his family (and of his own soul), Crouch still had wisdom to offer me.
Keeping it simple in this review, I'll just list off his family's ten commitments:
Ten Tech-Wise Commitments
We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.
We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.
We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play, and rest together.
We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.
Car time is conversation time.
Spouses have one another’s passwords, and parents have total access to children’s devices.
We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.
We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability. We hope to die in one another’s arms.
Readers of Crouch's other excellent works, particularly Culture Making, will hear Crouchian emphases, especially perhaps in point 2. That's gold. Crouch manages to be perceptive in an arena full of platitudes, and I think he can do this because he's a gifted and dedicated popularizer. His major books have all been teaching and applying the work of scholars to the needs of the church. This book is no exception. Highly recommended.
Keeping it simple in this review, I'll just list off his family's ten commitments:
Ten Tech-Wise Commitments
We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.
We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.
We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play, and rest together.
We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.
Car time is conversation time.
Spouses have one another’s passwords, and parents have total access to children’s devices.
We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.
We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability. We hope to die in one another’s arms.
Readers of Crouch's other excellent works, particularly Culture Making, will hear Crouchian emphases, especially perhaps in point 2. That's gold. Crouch manages to be perceptive in an arena full of platitudes, and I think he can do this because he's a gifted and dedicated popularizer. His major books have all been teaching and applying the work of scholars to the needs of the church. This book is no exception. Highly recommended.
March 26, 2017
I didn't expect a book dealing with everyday use of technology would be so encouraging, so beautifully written, and so deeply moving. But it's Andy Crouch, so there's that.
September 15, 2019
This book is an interesting conglomeration of a couple good rules, very biased, somewhat arrogant opinions, very little Scripture, and some research that is true to the topic but not extremely helpful. After reading 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke, this fell short of the helpfulness for the topic.
He began by saying, “As a Christian, I actually don’t believe the biological family is the main place we are meant to be known and loved.” He says the church is. I understand what he’s trying to say, but when the book is about family (and God gave us family), it doesn’t quite work.
Also, most points weren’t actually based on the Bible and had little to no biblical support. For instance, he says that children who abstain from technology are “a soul in a body, rather than being reduced to a brain on a stick.” I thought all people were image bearers and that the gospel is what transforms us, not lack of tablet use? Also, he says that the greatest gift we can give our children is ten years of no technology....what about Jesus? What about the gospel? What about a loving, safe home? Pretty sure I can think of many more things more important than no technology.
Then he gets a bit weird saying that lawns are a downside of technology because we should have meadows instead. Quite laughable if he weren’t so serious.
The height of my problem with this book was when he said, “So the best defense for porn, for every member of our family, is a full life- the kind of life that technology cannot provide on its own.” No! The answer is Jesus- satisfaction in Him and seeking Him! Only the Spirit can help us fight temptations. He talks about “pursuing something better” and having a “moral framework” more than being led by the Spirit and living in light of the gospel.
He kept saying that technology can be helpful but gave hardly any reason to believe that.
I just can’t recommend this book, and I found complete abstinence from technology to be unhelpful. I want to teach my children how to use it properly, how to be disciplined in a world of ever abounding technology.
He began by saying, “As a Christian, I actually don’t believe the biological family is the main place we are meant to be known and loved.” He says the church is. I understand what he’s trying to say, but when the book is about family (and God gave us family), it doesn’t quite work.
Also, most points weren’t actually based on the Bible and had little to no biblical support. For instance, he says that children who abstain from technology are “a soul in a body, rather than being reduced to a brain on a stick.” I thought all people were image bearers and that the gospel is what transforms us, not lack of tablet use? Also, he says that the greatest gift we can give our children is ten years of no technology....what about Jesus? What about the gospel? What about a loving, safe home? Pretty sure I can think of many more things more important than no technology.
Then he gets a bit weird saying that lawns are a downside of technology because we should have meadows instead. Quite laughable if he weren’t so serious.
The height of my problem with this book was when he said, “So the best defense for porn, for every member of our family, is a full life- the kind of life that technology cannot provide on its own.” No! The answer is Jesus- satisfaction in Him and seeking Him! Only the Spirit can help us fight temptations. He talks about “pursuing something better” and having a “moral framework” more than being led by the Spirit and living in light of the gospel.
He kept saying that technology can be helpful but gave hardly any reason to believe that.
I just can’t recommend this book, and I found complete abstinence from technology to be unhelpful. I want to teach my children how to use it properly, how to be disciplined in a world of ever abounding technology.
January 9, 2020
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this! So pleasantly surprised by how moving this book was. It was not a list of rules, but rather a manifesto on getting back to who God created us to be. The chapters on singing, making nudges away from consumption and towards creativity, showing up in person for the important things in life, including how we die, were notable and memorable. I loved the “reality checks” at the end of each guideline that brought it back down to earth. Love the research and vision in this book. Must read for all Christians, and really anyone in this digital age. Especially good for parents, but really applicable for all.
January 23, 2022
I am so thankful for this book. Andy Crouch offers wise, guiding principles for living with the technology that pervades our time and culture. Each suggestion is backed by compelling research and a beautiful vision of how life could be if we were brave enough to break out of our distracted and “easy everywhere” lifestyle. The Crouch family has implemented these principles themselves for over a decade and Andy shares honest reflections about his family’s struggles and successes.
A great read for parents (or individuals!) who feel low-grade guilt/hopelessness/uncertainty surrounding their use of technology.
A great read for parents (or individuals!) who feel low-grade guilt/hopelessness/uncertainty surrounding their use of technology.
July 11, 2024
Technologie. De opkomst en allesovernemende kracht ervan is een zorg. Niet alleen voor mezelf, maar ook voor ons gezin. Zo kwam ik bij dit boek uit.
‘We are meant not just for thin, virtual connections but for visceral, real connections to one another in this fleeting, temporary, and infinitely beautiful and worthwhile life.’
Dit is het hart van dit boek en met alles wat er is probeert de schrijver je ervan te overtuigen: leef een vol leven en geef technologie zijn ‘proper place’. Aan de zijlijn, niet centraal in ons huis en hart. Dat hart deel ik met hem.
De meeste aanbevelingen in dit boek zijn behulpzaam, soms wat star en vergaand. Maar al met al de moeite waard om te lezen. Ik had gehoopt op iets meer praktische toepassingen en slimme strategieën om technieck terug te duwen naar zijn plaats. Daarom 3,5 sterren.
‘We are meant not just for thin, virtual connections but for visceral, real connections to one another in this fleeting, temporary, and infinitely beautiful and worthwhile life.’
Dit is het hart van dit boek en met alles wat er is probeert de schrijver je ervan te overtuigen: leef een vol leven en geef technologie zijn ‘proper place’. Aan de zijlijn, niet centraal in ons huis en hart. Dat hart deel ik met hem.
De meeste aanbevelingen in dit boek zijn behulpzaam, soms wat star en vergaand. Maar al met al de moeite waard om te lezen. Ik had gehoopt op iets meer praktische toepassingen en slimme strategieën om technieck terug te duwen naar zijn plaats. Daarom 3,5 sterren.
April 5, 2025
Such a helpful corrective and resource for laying the groundwork on how to build a tech-wise family culture. Nothing super surprising or groundbreaking, but so helpfully organized and laid out.
Some things that stood out to me:
- It’s sad how “radical” it is to combat a total tech-takeover by just spending time outside. Nature truly is full of so much wonder, and I never want to tire of seeing and being captivated by its beauty. Makes me especially thankful to be living at a place like Hume.
- Love the idea of a hearth being the center of the home. Made me think of the Wildwood lower meeting area. So wonderful how intuitive it is to gather around a fire.
- Children “thrive in a world stocked with raw materials.” (67) I always want to help nudge and encourage my children to be creators!!
- Have never thought about the contrast between biblical work/rest with fruitless toil/leisure. I am certainly guilty of living more in cycles of toil/leisure. I’ll be thinking about how I can move towards the former.
- I found the imagery of building strong immune systems rather than creating insulated/sterile environments a helpful framework for raising kids.
Some things that stood out to me:
- It’s sad how “radical” it is to combat a total tech-takeover by just spending time outside. Nature truly is full of so much wonder, and I never want to tire of seeing and being captivated by its beauty. Makes me especially thankful to be living at a place like Hume.
- Love the idea of a hearth being the center of the home. Made me think of the Wildwood lower meeting area. So wonderful how intuitive it is to gather around a fire.
- Children “thrive in a world stocked with raw materials.” (67) I always want to help nudge and encourage my children to be creators!!
- Have never thought about the contrast between biblical work/rest with fruitless toil/leisure. I am certainly guilty of living more in cycles of toil/leisure. I’ll be thinking about how I can move towards the former.
- I found the imagery of building strong immune systems rather than creating insulated/sterile environments a helpful framework for raising kids.
November 4, 2023
My 3 initial thoughts:
1) My dad ditching our TV (and subbing in thousands of outdoor adventures) back in the day was a priceless gift.
2) I appreciate Crouch's understanding of technology that mixes health into appreciation. His practical ideas for enjoying technology in healthy amounts are so wise.
3) I want to discuss this book with someone! Would be amazing for a book club or just over coffee. Even 1 page gives you so much good food for thought throughout the day.
(And a confession: I ironically read the Kindle version of this on my phone at random hours with a newborn. I should add the print version to Christmas list to more fully digest it, as recommended!)
1) My dad ditching our TV (and subbing in thousands of outdoor adventures) back in the day was a priceless gift.
2) I appreciate Crouch's understanding of technology that mixes health into appreciation. His practical ideas for enjoying technology in healthy amounts are so wise.
3) I want to discuss this book with someone! Would be amazing for a book club or just over coffee. Even 1 page gives you so much good food for thought throughout the day.
(And a confession: I ironically read the Kindle version of this on my phone at random hours with a newborn. I should add the print version to Christmas list to more fully digest it, as recommended!)
February 13, 2023
A really helpful perspective. His overall approach and principles are helpful and really strong. Some of how he carries it out is a bit extreme and not something most families can do. But, still a helpful corrective that has stimulated many good conversations between Caiti and I. One problem is his definition and distinction between leisure and rest. He defines them too strictly and essentially says anything not productive or creative is leisure and not restorative. This is too much and oversimplified. Still, a helpful read.
January 16, 2019
Wonderful. This book could have just as well been titled “The Tech-Wise Life” or “How to be Wise and Courageous.” That is, Crouch centers on the family, but the book is about much more than family; it’s about cultivating virtue and habits around technology which might enable us to life wholesome, worshipful lives.
May 20, 2020
This was a great book, with an awesome message and vision! I definitely recommend it!
March 17, 2025
I’ve heard this called “the digital Bible”; I will not dispute that title. Read this book. No. Live this book.
Andy Crouch is a true sage—and they are not so easy to come by these days. It is, without question, the best book about technology I’ve ever read. It is far more about human flourishing than anything else, though it is extremely practical and honest. I’m not sure how you could read this and not desire the life he offers, that is, if we’re willing to cultivate the wisdom and courage to seek it out.
The book is ordered by 10 simple and practical principles for forming a tech-wise family:
1. We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.
2. We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.
3. We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together.
4. We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
5. We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
6. We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.
7. Car time is conversation time.
8. Spouses have one another’s passwords, and parents have total access to children’s devices.
9. We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.
10. We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability. We hope to die in one another’s arms.
These aren’t legalistic. They’re guiding principles that flow from a deeply intentional life, focused on using technology only for our flourishing—and refusing to let it strip us of the community, creativity, work, rest, and love that we’re made for.
Andy Crouch is a true sage—and they are not so easy to come by these days. It is, without question, the best book about technology I’ve ever read. It is far more about human flourishing than anything else, though it is extremely practical and honest. I’m not sure how you could read this and not desire the life he offers, that is, if we’re willing to cultivate the wisdom and courage to seek it out.
The book is ordered by 10 simple and practical principles for forming a tech-wise family:
1. We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.
2. We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.
3. We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together.
4. We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
5. We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
6. We use screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.
7. Car time is conversation time.
8. Spouses have one another’s passwords, and parents have total access to children’s devices.
9. We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.
10. We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability. We hope to die in one another’s arms.
These aren’t legalistic. They’re guiding principles that flow from a deeply intentional life, focused on using technology only for our flourishing—and refusing to let it strip us of the community, creativity, work, rest, and love that we’re made for.
May 14, 2025
he should’ve called this “how to raise a family of hobbits.” it’s pretty much precisely my ethos. this book is full of great principles—not everyone will apply them the same way, but I found it really encouraging to hear his guidance on how not to let technology dominate our family life.
December 26, 2017
Andy Crouch’s 10 commitments are helpful guidelines for families in a technology age. Immensely practical, written from a place of humble successes and failures, and encouraging perspective on how to lead a godly family well in the 21st century. A book I’m certain I’ll reference regularly.
June 2, 2024
I have 31 highlights. So yeah. Would recommend.
July 24, 2025
The promise of technology is that it works and makes things easy, everywhere. Viewing technology through this lens, and how wisdom and courage are built where there is difficulty and patience required, is a mindset shift I attribute to reading this book. Really appreciated the idea to Sabbath not only once a week, but also once a day - to avoid devices for an hour to really connect with our family. Highly recommend!
February 6, 2025
This book was very convicting and made me want to change a lot of the ways that I live my own life and the way that I parent my kids! I liked the practical applications that the author suggested. I didn’t give it 5 stars, though, because it’s just very hard for me to give a non-fiction book 5 stars!!
October 13, 2025
Recomiendo el libro “Familias tecnológicamente sabias” de Andy Crouch porque ofrece una visión profunda y equilibrada sobre cómo las familias pueden manejar la tecnología sin que ésta controle sus vidas. Más que solo poner límites o filtros, enseña a formar el carácter, fortalecer las relaciones auténticas y colocar la tecnología en su justo lugar como herramienta, lo cual es fundamental para vivir de manera saludable y con propósito en el contexto actual.
January 14, 2023
I have found relevant the premise of the book: between the scopes of family and those of technology: the family forms us as persons, it is a school of wisdom (discernment of the right thing to do) and courage (meaning virtue, applied wisdom: the actual doing of that right thing). These are difficult (and remain difficult with or without technology) and can only be learnt with committed people by our side who know the grandness of our foolishness yet forgive and love us nonetheless.
Technology, on the other hand, though so very convenient and easy, does little to ease the growth of our character. It is an expression of human creativity and capacity but does little to develop that creativity, capacity and dignity.
The book explores how to find a proper place of technology in the family, so that it does not interfere with its irreplaceable forming purpose.
I must admit that on my first read I have expected more from the book: more areas explored, more practical ideas to apply and better documentation of the technological impact.
Still, it is clearly worthwhile, a good starting point for family conversations about boundaries, habits and changes regarding our use of technology as a family.
I have especially enjoyed the revelatory contrast between hearth and furnace, tool for creativity and object of consumerism, work and toil, rest and leisure.
Also, it caught my attention the idea that learning is embodied, memory is stronger when it involves physicality (I do remember so much better particular passages if I read a physical book than a kindle / audio, especially if I use a pencil; I remember my thoughts if I share them verbally or if I write them, the handwriting leaves a stronger mark on my memory than typing). All the infinite variety of the physical world (all sensations: textures, smells, etc) aid our children in learning.
My favourite rules, that really stood out to me, were: 2.“We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the centre of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.” - using technology as a tool: to learn, to create (which requires effort and intentionality) instead of using it as a consumer (the ”easy everywhere" tech). 3. “We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together”. If we are not vigilent and protective with the value of our time, technology can change work into toil and rest into leisure.
7. "Car time is conversation time.” I have also oberved that my kids tend to muse on very deep or personal topics or tend to have an especially listening&curious ear to whatever i tell them when I drive them around on our varius errands (and interestingly, it comes between the squabbles, sometimes quite abruptly). It is tempting to put on music that keeps them quiet so that I have my mind for myself or for an audiobook in my earbuds (and there’s a time for that, of course). But I shall be intentional to make that time a connection opportunity more often.
Technology, on the other hand, though so very convenient and easy, does little to ease the growth of our character. It is an expression of human creativity and capacity but does little to develop that creativity, capacity and dignity.
The book explores how to find a proper place of technology in the family, so that it does not interfere with its irreplaceable forming purpose.
I must admit that on my first read I have expected more from the book: more areas explored, more practical ideas to apply and better documentation of the technological impact.
Still, it is clearly worthwhile, a good starting point for family conversations about boundaries, habits and changes regarding our use of technology as a family.
I have especially enjoyed the revelatory contrast between hearth and furnace, tool for creativity and object of consumerism, work and toil, rest and leisure.
Also, it caught my attention the idea that learning is embodied, memory is stronger when it involves physicality (I do remember so much better particular passages if I read a physical book than a kindle / audio, especially if I use a pencil; I remember my thoughts if I share them verbally or if I write them, the handwriting leaves a stronger mark on my memory than typing). All the infinite variety of the physical world (all sensations: textures, smells, etc) aid our children in learning.
My favourite rules, that really stood out to me, were: 2.“We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the centre of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.” - using technology as a tool: to learn, to create (which requires effort and intentionality) instead of using it as a consumer (the ”easy everywhere" tech). 3. “We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together”. If we are not vigilent and protective with the value of our time, technology can change work into toil and rest into leisure.
7. "Car time is conversation time.” I have also oberved that my kids tend to muse on very deep or personal topics or tend to have an especially listening&curious ear to whatever i tell them when I drive them around on our varius errands (and interestingly, it comes between the squabbles, sometimes quite abruptly). It is tempting to put on music that keeps them quiet so that I have my mind for myself or for an audiobook in my earbuds (and there’s a time for that, of course). But I shall be intentional to make that time a connection opportunity more often.
June 16, 2017
I was really excited when this book came up in a group chat I'm in with other Christian school educators. As a middle school teacher in a 1:1 environment (every student has a laptop) in the Silicon Valley, I'm becoming more and more interested in how we can support families in making wise technology boundaries at home. When I first started reading it, I thought it was going to be Tim Keller-esque, combining psychology with Christian theology and practical, real-life application. I started with just the Kindle sample, and I absolutely loved both the foreword by Crouch's daughter and his own preface. I love the idea of technology having a "proper place." For example, "Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love. It's out of its proper place when we end up bonding with people at a distance, like celebrities, whom we will never meet" (Crouch 170). I love how his "proper place" ideas examine how we might redeem the practices of technology. This is why our school mantra has been "teach, not ban," as we seek to make our students redeemers of this world. I was so enthralled that I quickly bought the book.
However, the book quickly moved away from this Reformed worldview to a legalistic list of "commandments" for technology use. The book moved to a focus on when it's not in its proper place rather than also offering ways that it is. Now, don't get me wrong: I highly agree with some of his assertions. Parents SHOULD check their students' devices on a regular basis. Parents SHOULD set time limits on screen time. Parents SHOULD helps children be creators and not just consumers. But it's not all doom and gloom either.
Crouch is overlooking the powerful things students can learn with technology, and he's overlooking the ways they can use it to redeem our world for Jesus Christ. I'd like to show him my student's spoken word video to eradicate modern day slavery. I'd show him student-created infographics standing up for refugees. I'd show him short stories beaming with creativity and joy. I love how technology amplifies are all too-often overlooked student voices. As Christians influencing these students, I believe it's important for us to not ban these things out of fear, but rather, teach students to put technology in its "proper place" and use it to change the world.
Finally, the use of data in this book was extremely frustrating to me. Although I found the research the Barna Group did on technology use in families today interesting, it in no way supports Crouch's claims. For example, just because only 46% of respondents didn't go to church within the last week, does not mean that families need to sing more on a regular basis. I hoped to have much more scientific data backing up why technology boundaries are important in the home.
Therefore, although I agree with many of Crouch's recommendations, I'm wary of the impact this book will have in Christian circles.
However, the book quickly moved away from this Reformed worldview to a legalistic list of "commandments" for technology use. The book moved to a focus on when it's not in its proper place rather than also offering ways that it is. Now, don't get me wrong: I highly agree with some of his assertions. Parents SHOULD check their students' devices on a regular basis. Parents SHOULD set time limits on screen time. Parents SHOULD helps children be creators and not just consumers. But it's not all doom and gloom either.
Crouch is overlooking the powerful things students can learn with technology, and he's overlooking the ways they can use it to redeem our world for Jesus Christ. I'd like to show him my student's spoken word video to eradicate modern day slavery. I'd show him student-created infographics standing up for refugees. I'd show him short stories beaming with creativity and joy. I love how technology amplifies are all too-often overlooked student voices. As Christians influencing these students, I believe it's important for us to not ban these things out of fear, but rather, teach students to put technology in its "proper place" and use it to change the world.
Finally, the use of data in this book was extremely frustrating to me. Although I found the research the Barna Group did on technology use in families today interesting, it in no way supports Crouch's claims. For example, just because only 46% of respondents didn't go to church within the last week, does not mean that families need to sing more on a regular basis. I hoped to have much more scientific data backing up why technology boundaries are important in the home.
Therefore, although I agree with many of Crouch's recommendations, I'm wary of the impact this book will have in Christian circles.
June 14, 2023
3.5 ⭐️ I like the idea of this book, but I would have appreciated a little more nuance. Though the author is obviously well-meaning (and bravo for the convictions his family holds), the tone came across as a little too “tech=bad” to me. Certainly gave me some things to think about though.
Notable quotes:
Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love.
But technology is only very good if it can help us become the persons we were meant to be.
We rob the easy-everywhere world of its power to seduce us not so much by the rules we put in place as by the dependence on one another we cultivate—depending on one another to help us be our best selves, growing in wisdom and courage and serving one another, in a world that wants to make us into shallow slaves of the self.
Notable quotes:
Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love.
But technology is only very good if it can help us become the persons we were meant to be.
We rob the easy-everywhere world of its power to seduce us not so much by the rules we put in place as by the dependence on one another we cultivate—depending on one another to help us be our best selves, growing in wisdom and courage and serving one another, in a world that wants to make us into shallow slaves of the self.
September 26, 2025
I re-read this one with our church plant. Hard to believe this book came out 8 years ago. But still worth a read. Such a ln important book.
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This small book packed a punch. I’d recommend it to any parents who are wrestling through technology and screen time. It’s not an easy fix book but it is practical. It’s reasonable, it’s challenging and it’s gracious. Families are for developing wisdom and courage. For creating more than consuming... and if you want more you should read the book.
—
This small book packed a punch. I’d recommend it to any parents who are wrestling through technology and screen time. It’s not an easy fix book but it is practical. It’s reasonable, it’s challenging and it’s gracious. Families are for developing wisdom and courage. For creating more than consuming... and if you want more you should read the book.
November 7, 2022
Great book to balance the convenience of technology as well as the beautiful human moments we have everyday. Technology is great and can do us great good, but Andy does a great job of showing the ready how it's misused, both to waste time and negatively impact our way of human connection and living. Highly recommend!
September 3, 2018
Helpfully reorients the conversation from “what rules should I follow?” to “what kind of person do I want to become?”
December 11, 2018
Great little book! As a family, we already followed a lot of these principles unknowingly, but there were some takeaways and new things I’m excited to implement!
December 13, 2023
So thankful this book was free on audible! I’ve been meaning to read it and am so happy I did. Lots of new things to implement as I enter the new year!
February 25, 2023
I liked the depictions of a kid's slow life spent in a warm attentive family even in a modern age, a life without constant distractions and where kids go outdoors and do activities instead of iPads. I get the romanticized appeal and I like that it admits it's NOT easy and it requires a lot of work from parents. I agree that it's important to not let technology consume us and I found his advice encouraging and uplifting. I will certainly use parts of this book to figure out how to achieve that balance in our family.
At the same time, technology has a bigger place in our lives than ever before. I think it's important for our children to know how to handle its presence instead of eliminating it completely, maybe even create a "forbidden fruit" aura around it. Waiting until 10 years old feels excessive to me, especially because I want my child to be social and will certainly be around other kids consuming technology.
Some promises were definitely too generous - like he says that keeping a child involved in tons of activities is the biggest most important thing that will protect him from consuming porn. How does God and the work of the Holy Spirit come into this? What about talking about sex with your child? It probably wants to appeal to a secular reader but this way the conversation feels incomplete to me (as a Christian reader, reading the book of a Christian writer).
At the same time, technology has a bigger place in our lives than ever before. I think it's important for our children to know how to handle its presence instead of eliminating it completely, maybe even create a "forbidden fruit" aura around it. Waiting until 10 years old feels excessive to me, especially because I want my child to be social and will certainly be around other kids consuming technology.
Some promises were definitely too generous - like he says that keeping a child involved in tons of activities is the biggest most important thing that will protect him from consuming porn. How does God and the work of the Holy Spirit come into this? What about talking about sex with your child? It probably wants to appeal to a secular reader but this way the conversation feels incomplete to me (as a Christian reader, reading the book of a Christian writer).
May 2, 2025
This work is sublime, and I really wish the title did not include “Family” because I might have read it earlier if it didn’t! This book is for anyone wanting to live a good life in the modern world where “easy-everywhere” is our operating aspiration for all our days.
Crouch isn’t a luddite, but he does question why we let the last few decades of technological advancement form us into bored people. We thoughtlessly give away vast quantities of our time and attention to a way of life which cannot lead to the courage and wisdom that Jesus—or for that matter any of our forebears—would offer.
Some of what the author advises may seem impossibly unnecessary—like centering our homes not around screens but around beauty and potential areas of skill-based activity (think reading, drawing, cooking, music making, gardening). I feel quite challenged when screens aren’t around, and perhaps that’s because I am caught up so often in the boredom which bright entertainment creates. Still, Crouch’s vision is one of the goodness and splendor that a life lived toward the formation of wise and courageous persons may offer.
I must point out Andy Crouch is more winsome in his approach than my tone may here come across, for which I’m grateful; I write against my own devices.
Crouch isn’t a luddite, but he does question why we let the last few decades of technological advancement form us into bored people. We thoughtlessly give away vast quantities of our time and attention to a way of life which cannot lead to the courage and wisdom that Jesus—or for that matter any of our forebears—would offer.
Some of what the author advises may seem impossibly unnecessary—like centering our homes not around screens but around beauty and potential areas of skill-based activity (think reading, drawing, cooking, music making, gardening). I feel quite challenged when screens aren’t around, and perhaps that’s because I am caught up so often in the boredom which bright entertainment creates. Still, Crouch’s vision is one of the goodness and splendor that a life lived toward the formation of wise and courageous persons may offer.
I must point out Andy Crouch is more winsome in his approach than my tone may here come across, for which I’m grateful; I write against my own devices.
July 7, 2024
I’m only recently getting on the Andy Crouch train. I have been so inspired by his brilliance and humility. I am giving this 5 stars, not because I think it is the most eloquently written book, but because I find the principles encouraged so crucially important for family. This is not a book of unrealistic ideals and principles to implement to keep children from becoming tech-addicts. It is a call to create a beautiful culture of family in your home—one in which parents are held accountable as well to their own relationship to and dependence upon technology. Some of what he proposes is a radically different way of life than that which we see, even in the church. But, it is a call to a more robust and vibrant way of life. One in which engages with the world around us and teaches our children to be “wise and courageous”.
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