Fashionably Fanged

Hot Damned #8

by Robyn Peterman

I have to trap the most evil, worst bad dude in existence without actually turning him to ash. So, what’s a Vampyre to do?

For starters, enter an undead beauty pageant—in Oklahoma—where the hair is jacked and the contestants are busty and brainless.
 
My name is Venus. I’m a two-hundred-year old killing machine and I’m trading in my daggers and sword for a sparkly dress and an obscene swim suit. Tiny strips of Lycra are not my typical battle wear, but when in Oklahoma…
 
Armed with a fairly decent attitude, two debatably heterosexual insane old ladies, a woman I’d wanted to kill less than eight hours ago and the possible love of my undead life, I’m in over my head with this. Of course I have no clue what this is going to entail, but that’s never stopped me before.
 
I’m learning quickly nothing is as it seems—not my past and least of all my future. With the not-so-angelic Angels watching our every move and more butt glue, lipstick and hairspray than I knew existed, I’m gonna take my fate by the balls and twist. Hard.
 
In a race with death for the cursed life of the man I’m falling in love with, there’s no room for error. Especially when I can’t decide if I’d rather head butt him or jump his sexy bones.
 
Mixed up in a tangled trap of spotlights, sequins and seduction, I’m gunning for a crown and my happily ever after with the arrogant alpha-hole who makes me feel alive.
 
And the winner is…
Hopefully me.

Genres: Paranormal, Vampires, Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, Audiobook, Humor

250 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 24, 2017

About the author

Robyn writes because the people inside her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include shoes (the expensive kind), Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, and bejeweled reading glasses.
A former professional actress, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count. Writing gives her a chance to have a job where working in her P.J.’s is acceptable. You can follow Robyn at http://www.robynpeterman.com and at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Robyn-P....

Reviews

[Lakshmi C · Rating 3 out of 5]

What worked for me :

1 Satan was here...
Everybody knows I have a huge crush on The Devil in this series and the rumor about him getting his own series converted me into an excited Smurf!!!

Do you want to date the Devil?” Astrid asked me with a barely suppressed smile.
pick me...Pick Me...PICK ME!!!

2 The Villains in this one are a peculiar brand of crazy but quite entertaining.
So are Martha and Jane.

The only good royal is a dead one.
The Revolution is coming. (She whispered gleefully)
I knew it. Sssh. I didn't but...Who am I?



3 Gareth - He’d successfully pissed off Heaven and Hell within twenty-four hours. He was insane.

Venus - “Excuse me.” I raised my hand interrupting her and rolled my eyes. “Are you done with your monologue yet? Getting bored here.”

What didn't work for me :

1 The romance fell flat & didn't make a sound. This is disturbing on so many levels.
The set up, Gareth and Venus, the threat to their HEA was all great but not satisfying as a whole.

2 This one felt more like chick lit or women's fiction but you won't remember this as a PNR. I wish the plot had included more about the royals, the curse and ancient villain vampires.

I'll definitely come back to this series because of Lucifer and.....let's not forget Astrid, Ethan and the baby demons.

[Terri ♥ (aka Mrs. Christian Grey) · Rating 3 out of 5]

The narrator on this one killed the book more than anything else. She wasn’t a bad actor as she didn’t fit the part. Having binge listened the series so far, I was thrown off by the change in characters personas. Then add the repeated inner monologues and this story went from okay to really bad. Add in the contrast world building changes on a whim. Ugh. But I’m pushing through to the last.

[Maraya21 (The Reading Dragon) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy shit, how I've missed this series!

This is Venus' book and I was excited to see from her point of view. The romance was nothing special in every sense but the info we got completed the story. The fact that it was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious made up for everything else though!! I was kind of hysterical!

I can't fucking wait to get my greedy little hands on the next book which is from the POV of one of my series abso-fucking-lutely favs: Satan¡ *squeeeee*

[Nathalie* · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This wasn't my fav one :(

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the 8th book in the HOT DAMMED SERIES . I must say this is the best one yet . I have never laughed so hard in my life . This is Venus and Gareth's book and what they have to do to get the curse removed .
Everyone is back in this addition . Venus is a two hundred year old vampire and an butt kicking machine . She is part of the guard for Prince Ethan and his mate Astrid . They are also best friends . Gareth is a pain Venus's butt but there is something more there. But he is a manwhore and she has mixed feeling about that . With him dying and being a man whore . When they find out Vlad is running amuck at an undead beauty pageant . Off they go with Jane and Martha in tow . They are a laugh riot Will they survive the fight with Vlad and will Venus make it through the pageant without jumping Gareth's bones every chance she gets . Oh and lets don't forget about the randy dandy not so good angels that pop up from time to time . They can get into trouble so easily
This book had me laughing all the way through between Gareth and his alpha hole tendancies and the old ladies trying to keep theirs suits on and their dickies intact . I love the way she tells a story . You will laugh and cry and follow all the twists and turns through out this book . By far this is the best story I have read in this series . Its funny and dangerous and has some real good smexy sexy parts . Trust me ladies you will swoon at Gareth and Ethan . This is a book that will make you laugh out loud. So if you want a great fun series out check out the HOT DAMNED SERIES you will not be disappointed . BE PREPARED TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF
I was given this book for my honest opinion . this is it

[Marie Brown (Marie's Tempting Reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marie's Tempting Reads ARC Review:

BABY JESUS IN A TUBE TOP, who is ready for Venus's wild, entertaining, SUPER sexy story? I know I am! This book was another rip-roaringly, disgusting, laugh-your-butt off good time that left me both flabbergasted, giggling uncontrollably and definitely hot as heck! Robyn Peterman takes crazy, wild, paranormal fun to a whole new level with Fashionably Fanged! Venus is amazing, and sweet, strong and with a temper that is quick to ignite and boy, she can kick some major butt! And Gareth, even in his weakened state, is hot, cocky, sinful, charming and when him and Venus get together, its like the fourth of July with all the sparks and pops!

If you love a book with loads of humor, witty dialogue, entertaining banter and a HOOT of a story, then you will LOVE Fashionably Fanged. Robyn Peterman has fantastic writing skills! She makes me laugh, makes me fall in love each and ever time with her freaky adorable characters and crazy side characters as well as laugh out loud every few seconds....I just CAN'T go wrong with a book by Miss Peterman!

Fashionably Fanged gets a WILDLY ENTERTAINING FIVE SHOOTING STARS! Fun, sexy, snarky, and OH SO CRAZY, Venus may very well beat Astrid!

[Michelle Eriksen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fashionably Fanged brought back almost all of our favorite characters and added a few new ones to make this one hysterically funny, yet somehow sweet, and yet a totally crazy fun way to spend your reading time. The characters are always interesting but Jane and Martha take the cake in this one, they had tears rolling down my face more than once I was laughing so hard. Astrid and Ethan have been a favorite all along, but Venus and Garath may have just taken the lead with this. Super sexy, hysterically funny and a great story-line that will have you wondering what in the world could possibly happen next.

If you like your reading with a side of hysterical fun, you really need to try this one.

[Chatel Casto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh this has got to be the best book in the series so far. Loved the backstory of Gareth and Venus, wow what a surprise that was. Really like how Jane and Martha are getting more page time in the books. They are hilarious. Lots of surprises in this one and (to me) a few sad parts throughout. Lots of new characters who hopefully will get stories or more pages in the next books.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm in love with Venus and Gareth! Robyn Peterman really knows how to write a smexy, fun, wildly inappropriate, laugh out loud adventure! I can't get enough Martha, Jane, and the rest of the undead gang in the Hot Damned series.

[SamJ ★Needs a HEA★ · Rating 5 out of 5]

★Book Basics★

Genre : - Paranormal Romance
Series : - 8th in the series
Love triangle? - No
Cheating? - No
HEA? - Yes
Would I read more by this author/or in this series? - Yes
Rating - 4 ★


★Review★


Still really enjoying this series - remains great fun to read with all the characters I love who remain unapologetically them.

The reason I give this 4 stars is for me the romance part of it fell flat....we had Gareth and Venus hating each other, Gareth hiding a secret for over 200 years and then Bam, they decide they are mates and in love and that portion of it was all tied up neatly in a bow - I feel like in the series, Astrid and Ethan are the main couple, and we do keep going back to them, and then we get a filler book every so often with a different couple, where the romance part is done and dusted and then that book just moves the plot along of the various bad guys. I loved Venus though and her backstory and just how kickass she was.

I am still devouring this series as I do enjoy it and the whole cast of crazy characters - I just occasionally might wish for a tiny little bit more.

[Diane Glidden · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

Love Robyn's books, can't wait for her to write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Books are wonderfully written and make me laugh like a loon.

[Crystal P · Rating 5 out of 5]

The narration almost took me out of this. It wasn’t the narrator specifically, but rather the fact that so many core characters were far off the mark from the previous books. Thankfully, sped up to 1.6+x helped things to settle and I was better able to enjoy Venus’ story, and boy was it a good one. Another good book in this series!

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gareth and three other members of the royal family have been cursed by the evil Vampyre Vlad, and an unknown Angel. Venus is sent on a mission to capture Vlad and bring him back to the Cressida House in the hopes that the curse will be lifted.

Though she had Gareth had a one night fling, she wants nothing more than to stay far away from him, but when he insists on accompanying her to Oklahoma to act the part of bodyguard to her beauty pageant contestant cover.

While they spend time together, Venus is unable to deny the pull she feels toward Gareth, and she knows he feels it too, but the clock is ticking, and they may not have time to explore their feelings if they don't capture Vlad and the Angel that helped him isn't caught within the week.

Fashionably Fanged may be my favorite in the Hot Damned series. Venus's back story is phenomenal, and there is an amazing lesson to be learned about judgement and forgiveness from this character. Her strength and choices in life make her the kind of woman (er, Vampyre) we should all strive to me.

And for all of his overbearing alpha dominance, Gareth is unbelievably committed to Venus. The chemistry between them is hotter than Hades, but the tenderness and characters strength and love are the heart of the story.

[Patti · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are certain things I look for when deciding what to rate a book. Did it hold my interest? Were the characters engaging? Did the storyline flow well ? Was there any distracting rambling? Did it cause me to lose track of time? And finally, putting aside everyone's individual idiosyncrasies, do I think anyone and everyone should read it? Saying this book is perfection really doesn't do it justice. The entertainment factor alone is off the charts! The characters are people you wish you really had in reality. A five star rating almost seems too subdued. It is a guarantee that you will laugh, you will also feel your heart wrench at times, and you will also want to reach into the pages and either slap someone Sicily or shake some sense into them. If you have a weak system, please be aware you need to read this close to a bathroom because the laughter may cause accidents. Humbly awaiting book 9.

[Leah Hines · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hilarity continues in this latest edition of the Hot Damned series. And what a story it is! We finally get Venus and Gareth in all their feisty vamp glory. The connection between these two is nothing less than steamy. With the two old dingbats, Martha and Jane, involved, you know this mission can't be a simple one but it is certainly entertaining. With pop ins from old favorites and some exciting new characters thrown into the mix, this book will have you cramping from laughter and panting in envy of this long awaited romance. I can't wait to see which story comes next from this author's incomparable imagination!

[Adrienh1 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the entire series. The H/h were introduced earlier in the series and to see them get their own story was awesome. Anything by this author is an automatic read for me. With that being said, the narrator sounded like an old lady. While she is a good narrator, she was not a good fit for this story. Her timing and inflection was off for all of the jokes, it just fell flat taking away from the witty moments in the story. In the previous parts in this series, the hero had an accent. However, in this story, the accent was non-existent. For this series, I hope this narrator is not used again, as I would not be able to purchase it.

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally Venus and Gareth did it, well we know they had already done it once but now they did it BIG time like for eternity but seriously what is with the male royals being such a-holes seriously they take their alpha crap to a whole new level....lol

Fashionably Fanged was just hilarious with Tiaras and Tits everywhere oh and we can't forget Martha and Jane it just wouldn't be a hot damned book without them.

Such a hilarious laugh out loud riotous read I couldn't put down.

[Sylvia · Rating 4 out of 5]

An always fun and entertaining author, Robyn Peterman does not disappoint in this book !
As always there is much going on, and at times your head just hurts from laughter. Venus is in search of her man, and she ends up being part of a pageant...not a typical thing for a warrior vampire. A must read if you have read the others books in this series...You will love it.

[Crazy for Books (Stephanie) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I agree with other reviewers. The narrator of the audiobook was awful. I never like saying bad thing about someone's work, but this has to be said.

The narrator sounded old and everything she said was over the top. It kept me from enjoying the storyline, which wasn't terrible, but I just couldn't get past he narration.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my Gawd.. another never ending tears in eyes (both good and bad) laugh inducing book. Be prepared to be given the side eye by random strangers if you read this in public lol.

[Keisha Aranda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hot Damn I just love this series! This book was drop dead funny and entertaining. A sizzling read that doesn’t disappoint.

[Theresa Derwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Venus - She's got it - beauty, starts and killer fangs

I was really looking forward to reading this one after seeing the blurb.
In the I'm going Hot Damned series, Venus is a powerful kick ass vampire who can fight and plan with the best, but when her frenemy and secret just Gareth is in danger, she has to go join a Vampire Beauty Pageant to catch Vlad who helped course him.
This is basically Miss Congeniality with vampires, insane characters and much humour. However I was pleased to find issues of racism dealt with in here too, as well as LGBTQ issues. Vanished to face old enemies and painful memories of her time as a slave and teach pensioner vampires Martha and Jane how to avoid being racist and become more accepting. I liked this aspect of the book as well as Venus discovering there is more to Gareth than she thought. I also think we're building up to a story with the nutty sisters learning to be better people and redeeming themselves, whilst possibly regaining their youth. That would be fun. Loved it

[Mary Lou Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pole-dancing Master Vampyre?

Who would have thought that a lost bet would have a hot Master Vampyre pole dancing with Mother Nature? But that's what happened to Gareth, and like his brother, Ethan, he has an ego the size of which can't be measured. But first, he and his fate-denying mate, Venus, must find the evil, twisted, Master Vampire, Vlad, and force him and his pet angel to remove a curse placed on Gareth and three of his siblings.

The adventures are daring, the characters are memorable, and the laughs are continuous. Ms. Peterman knows how to tell a story, and demonstrates that admirably. If you enjoy urban fantasy, and you like your romance hot, you might like this series. Be sure to start with the first book to get the entire background, but each book is standalone and can be read out of order. Warning: Explicit sex.

[Lynn Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously Twisted and Very, Very Funny

When Gareth and Venus come to realize that they are meant for each other, their worlds become so much happier. . . and weirder than they ever imagined. That's what happens to two lovesick vampires who have been cursed by Vlad Dracula as part of a conspiracy to get rid of the Vampyre royal family. It will take more than winning a vampire beauty pageant to stop Vlad's evil plan and save Gareth and the rest of the royal family. Only a bunch of beautiful, nearly naked, D-cupped really stupid vampyre beauty contestants can pull it off!

[Rudi Stephan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Venus & Gareth

So, yes, this is the story you’ve been waiting for, as if or when does Venus get her HEA?
But because this is the incredible, increasingly more convoluted world of the life of Astrid and everyone connected to her, there is, yay, so MUCH MORE!

An evil plot to destroy the vampyre hierarchy as we know it, favors lost and gained with Astrid’s Uncle Fu*%er, dirty angels, a very old, very bad , vampyre, a beauty contest, an unexpected relative, someone who is not as she seemed...oh, and there could be pole dancing.

Another great Fashionably Dead tale.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

How I love this...

This was the book I needed right now. I laughed so hard I cried! The insults were hilarious, and the whole lesbian dialogue was superb! I even copied and pasted it to a couple of my friends, simply marvelous!
The story was fluid and smooth. Good to finally get Venus and Gareth's story! One of these days I'd love for the two old dingbats to meet their old tube sock, flip flop, high waisted, suspender wearing matches! Love it!!

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Another hit"
With every book in this series I always wonder how she can top her last one then she goes and does it and blows my mind.
As always be careful when listening to this book while eating or drinking as you may end up spitting your food or drink out. Same as while driving proceed with caution as fellow drivers may wonder why you are laughing uncontrollably
I can't wait for the next one in this series

[Caroline Paquin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another hilarious and at times touching read, with a plot that followed the previous book, but a complete other point of view, that of Venus (or, as wee Sammy says, Penus). An absolute villain whom we can only hope gets his comeuppance sometime in the book, a hot love story, Vampyres galore, and a couple of new characters to add of the ones we've loved since the beginning of the series.

A great book, again.

And did I say I love Satan?

[Trudy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Venus has been one of my favorite characters since she was introduced. My heart ached with her back story and the people she meets throughout this story broke my heart as well. When a bunch of supposed misfits all come together they form an unstoppable army of friendship and fire! Her story is powerful, steamy, action packed and I loved it! We meet a bunch of colorful new characters with lots of special quirks! But the countdown to Gareth's impending death may just very well run out.

[*~Verity~* Queen of the Unicorns · Rating 4 out of 5]

A 4 star read

Another book in the Hot Damned Series and this time it's Venus who tells her story...

I love all of Ms. Perermans' novels, the laughter and tears were there as was the -ahem- heat. But I'll admit this took me a long time to read. It's not that it isn't enjoyable, far from it but I found myself not really immersing in the story. But I think that I'm the problem here, not the author.

If you follow the Hot Damned series then absolutely read this.