Ophelia Speaks

by Sara Shandler

Sara Shandler creates an atmosphere for young girls, between the ages of 12 to 18, to speak frankly about the myriad of issues encountered as they try to leave adolescence behind them and emerge as young women. The author's own personal reflections are interwoven throughout the writings of a diverse group of teenage girls, which include poems, essays and comments.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Feminism, Essays, Memoir, Mental Health, Womens

485 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 1999

About the author

Sara Shandler is currently a student at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut. A former president of the Connecticut Valley Region of B'nai B'rith Youth Organization, she has led, represented, and influenced large numbers of adolescent girls. She is a native of Amherst, Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Jenn]

My life as a 17 year old (the entry I had published in this book) is definitely a different life than I life today!

[Isabel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was a little hard to categorize. I put it in the "parenting" section because the idea of reading adolescent girls' first hand perspective is valuable to parents, especially at a time when they may become less open with their parents. I put it in "psychology" because there are so many psychological issues that come up: depression, eating disorders, dealing with death, self image... And "feminist" because it is primarily about young women.

That being said, the very things that make this book interesting make it hard to read. When these young authors take an unedited stab at metaphor, I find myself wincing. I suppose that is part of their limbo-like status, not yet adult, but experimenting. If figurative language were the extent of their forays into the unknown, we'd all be a lot happier...

So! That brings us to the content of the book. If you based your understanding of the generation of women who were teenagers in the late 1990's, you'd think that they were all victims of abuse and mental illness. I know that Shandler went out of her way to represent as many varied demographics as possible in her book. Still, the majority seem to come from affluent and educated households. "The Academic Squeeze" really drives that one home. It makes sense since that she would find academic-types since she put her request for writing submissions out through schools. But her sample consists of writers, or aspiring writers, and as we all know, they are a group unto themselves.

The moodiness and self centeredness of adolescence is compounded by people who choose to write and be published. There's a reason that the stereotypical writer is a black clad, beret wearing, isolated, idea focused person. (They can be male or female.)

I dunno. So much of this book is time specific. The issues of beauty and sexuality that she writes about are evolving all the time. In our post "Will & Grace," "Glee," and "Ellen" generation, homosexuality is in our living rooms as well as in our closets. With covered Muslim women getting exposure as our country becomes increasingly involved in Middle Eastern affairs, the idea of hair, makeup and clothing defining who we are has a host of new implications.

The strongest essays were probably the ones about racism and feminism. I found that sometimes the contributions were somewhat shallow. But maybe that's because these girls are too young to be introspective? Shandler's introductions were a little annoying, too. Her rah-rah! it's us against the world attitude was trying. We are part of the world. She insists that young women are "complicated" but she denies that the world surrounding women is complicated, too. She fails to acknowledge that change is possible, even inevitable, and that in some ways a lot of the writing in the book is just a temporary temper tantrum of a frustrated, confused, developing person. In fact, she includes anecdotes about young men in her life who are sensitive, confused and just as determined to grow up to be enlightened as she is. Yet disproportionately the stories are of isolated, troubled, angry girls who have been ground up by societal expectations. To what extent are those societal and to what extent are they the specific demands of their nuclear families? (Though, yes, you could argue that those families are microcosms of society at large, I guess.)

As I recall, and it's been a while, Pipher wrote (among other things) about run-aways. A chapter about that would have been useful. And maybe some writing from girls who were actually "well adjusted" but still struggling to make sense of their world would have been nice. Just because a girl is confused as she wrestles with her changing identity from girl to woman doesn't mean she has to be anorexic, an incest survivor or an orphan...

I dunno. This book left me cold. I didn't feel that the voices were speaking to me. I felt they were ranting and posing. But then, I guess that's part of being a teenage girl in the late 90's. Or that's my perception after finishing this book. Kinda sad to think that whether they have long blond hair, or shave their heads bald, these girls don't really have all that much to say to us, just blame to hurl at the world at large.

[Krissys Bookshelf Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author: Sara Shandler
Title: Ophelia Speaks
Series:
Cover Rating:
Gold Star

Book Rating:
5 stars



About the Book:
Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self is the result of Sara Shandler's crusade. Her goal was to bring real voice to Reviving Ophelia. She succeeds. The voices are raw and young and jarring -- sometimes adult-like, sometimes childlike, and more often both, like Shandler's voice.



My Thoughts:
Ophelia Speaks is a deeply emotional read - often difficult to get through as starkly revealing it can be during the more serious experiences. I don't think I have personally experienced so much heart ache, loss, and trauma in one book.
Ophelia speaks is also beautiful in many ways as it exposes the more intimate and personal lives of females who have gone through and witnessed some of the absolute worst in humanity.
Many young girls and women alike have struggled through the same battles and wanting to share their story with us the reader through poem, confession, and more to experience what it was like mentally, emotionally sometimes physically to go through these experiences no matter how horrific.
Inspiring to find so many females willing to come forward and share their own lives with us Ophelia Speaks is a gripping read.



Disclaimer:
Krissys Bookshelf Reviews purchased a print copy for personal collection. All thoughts, comments and ratings are my own.

Note:
If any of Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews has been helpful please stop by to like my post or leave a comment to let me know what you think. I love hearing from you!

[Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Shandler was a teenager when she read Reviving Ophelia and felt like her voice as a teenage girl was taken from her. She identified with the stories in the book, but objected that an adult (aka superior) was presenting experience and speaking for this group of people. So Shandler collected writings from actual teenage girls and let them tell their own story on a wide variety of topics.
I read Reviving Ophelia as an adult, ex post facto if you will. I found it to be an incredibly powerful and well organized with a clear message. Meanwhile, reading this one, I heard these girls voices and they were also very well written. (With some I was curious if they have continued to write for publication.) However, it didn't readily make available a call to action or a means for me to support these girls in their efforts to be their own person. I don't feel like I learned anything new about these girls experiences. I don't want to minimize the extreme importance of the work, but I think it would have been more significant to me if read while I was a teenage girl. Whereas reading Reviving Ophelia as an adult was more impactful than these important stories.

[Julie Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's so old, but still relevant. The Guidance Counselor at my school is asking for books in our collection that deal with certain issues, and he loved Reviving Ophelia (as did I), so I sought this out. Shandler collected these essays and poems from girls back in 1998, before social media was an additional issue in these girls' lives. For this adult reader, who was a teen at that very time, the sentiments and experiences expressed ring true to my experiences then (and feel true today), but I have to wonder if today's teens would agree. The layout makes it really easy for the reader to find essays on particular topics. I especially loved the poems, and I skipped the sections I didn't care about such as When Friends Die and the ones about sisters. I'd like to know if a more recent compilation has been published recently; I saw another reviewer mention that there is no need for a book like this as blogs and other digital forms of publishing have made such a book obsolete, but I still do love books. If anyone has anything to recommend, please share!

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is it cheating to give 5 starts to the first book I was published in?

[The Sci-Fi-Guy · Rating 4 out of 5]

G.I.M.
(Look at my personal description)

Ophelia Speaks by Sara Shandler is a book that would catch your eyes if you want some unspoken truth. This book is a collection of sad but very true poems, essays, journals, and stories. These are multiple stories, poems, etc in each chapter which proved the amount of people that have been affected by these topics. This book contains subjects about death, self harm, abuse and sexual harassment, so be warned!!! This book over all gave me a wider perspective on the world around be and how frequent these things are to happen. This book does however bring some really touchy but important subjects that have not had a voice until lately this year. So, if Marty McFly was to come across this, he would be surprised. Anyways, this was a really good book that was ahead of its time (related to when it was published,) and it will always will be a voice for a lot of women. To summarize, this book is a G.I.M. (A good, interesting, meaningful book)

[Kelsey Dangelo-Worth · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of essays written by young, teenage women about their experiences from friendships and family relationships, to substance abuse, mental illness, the need to achieve and the need to be strong. The voices and the writing is a powerful window into what it is like to be young and female in our world, on the cusp of adulthood, searching for and defining the self. The writing is powerful and raw, emotional and beautiful. An important book to read; even if it isn’t perfectly written (particularly the author/editor’s openings to each chapter, which are clunky), it’s a book that needed to be written. Grade: B-

[Lisa Elkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the compilation was down well and grouping of catagories was nice. The letters and poems were interesting and I found myself able to relate to many of the feelings. I don't remember really putting my thoughts or feelings down when I was younger, not a journal keeper. Now that I am older I can see the almost therapuetic value in putting those things down on paper. However, I felt that the writings of these girls would have held their value in a stand alone compilation. I felt the authors explanations were unnecessary and over drawn. I think people can & will draw their own conclussions from the written words. I would have been fine without her personal critique and opinions.

[Sarah Burton · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was published in 1999, and was interesting to read in 2025 and reflect on what 1999 Sarah would have thought. She would have eaten it up. I feel like teen lit at that time was super dramatic, angsty, and dark in a gratuitous kind of way, and this echoes that vibe. I don’t think it aged well. I’d be curious to see what a teen today would take away from it.

[Adrianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The essays compiled for this book are not super uplifting, but very necessary to show light on how teenage girls think and feel on life. Although all the essays were written in the late 90s, they are relevant for today. The one I found most interesting was "Growing Up a Churchless Child."

[Marin · Rating 5 out of 5]

every girl should read this.

[Rachel Dixon · Rating 2 out of 5]

dang this book was hard to get through. I really appreciate what she was trying to do, and what this book could have been. but whewf

[cory · Rating 4 out of 5]

looooooooooved. very tough to read at times. triggers x1,000000

[Nancie Lafferty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this and “Ophelia’s Mom” together. My three girls are well-grown now, with teenagers+ of their own. Although the internet and social media has changed everything so drastically, both of these books still have much to offer me, as I look back, and, I believe, mothers and daughters as they make their ways through the current days.

[Madeline Zenas · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first reading by Sara Shandler has brought everyday problems throughout young adolescent girls to my attention. Everyone knows that people face dilemmas throughout their high school careers, but know one will know each detail or exact feeling like this book gives.Ophelia Speaks follows the stories of multiple adolescent girls with multiple different dilemmas towards their everyday lives in five parts.

Part one, known as “The Body Under Assault” gives examples based on eating disorders, self-inflicted wounds, intoxication, and rape and sexual abuse. Each one reflects as to how they feel about themselves based on their family lives, school popularity, or friendships. Part two, know as “Family Matters” gives examples based on mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, disintegrating foundations, no safe place, pregnancy, and death in the family. All of these examples are simply on family. Part three, known as “The Best and the Worst of Friends”, lists only three examples but they are based on with the support of friends, friendship lost, and when friends die. These examples are on friendship. Part four, known as “Touched by Desire” covers innocent attractions, seduced by sex, diverse sexualities, manipulated and controlled, and broken-hearted independance. This is simply over relationships. Part five, known as “Overcoming Obstacles and Coming into Our Own” covers the academic squeeze, depression and therapy, race, identity, prejudice, questions of faith, and feminist pride. In this part, it describes how the adolescent girls overcame the problems in the previous parts. When these three parts come together, you learn the ultimate lesson: you have more than you think you do.

Adolescent girls who have been through something like these, or are interested in helping young adolescent girls would be interested in Ophelia Speaks. Shandler brings real life situations all throughout the book. The novel asks us to appreciate what those of us have because not everyone is as fortunate as you. This book is long, but it is an enjoyable book. The parts and examples are well explained. Overall, this book will keep your interest, all throughout the book.

[Realteenreviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Gist

Ophelia Speaks is a collection of true writings from teenage girls across the nation, highlighting their troubles.

What We Think

Reviewed by Living Destiny

So I picked this book up in eighth grade. My seat looked right at it for maybe four months before i decided to try it. (I’m pretty sure Mr. creepy-teacher-dude recommended it to me too). I thought, eh it’ll pass the time. It ended up being really powerful and some of it really shocked me.

Sara Shandler is not really the author. She’s more like the handler of the stories that came through. There were diary entries, poems, stories, and all were true. They were written by teenage girls who wanted their tales to be known. Some of the stories were kinda gruesome, talking about self-inflicted wounds (cutting, etc…). A large portion of the book was centered around eating disorders. There were also chapters about abuse, drug and alcohol use, losing family members, teen pregnancies and media influence.

This book really made an impression on me. One of the stories I remember distinctly was written by a girl with anorexia. She talked about limiting what she eats, and almost never eating. She recalls a day when her friend gave her a gummy bear. She put in in her mouth as she walked away from her friend. She began to feel guilty about the one gummy bear, spat it out, and decided to ride her bike to work the “fat” from the gummy bear off. She ended up passing out. Some of the stories were much worse.

This book shows the inner workings of the mind of teenage girl. Many of the situations the stories outline are more common than most people think. This book is a good one for raising awareness, and giving girls strength and a way to stand together.

Real Teen Rating~A- : Read it :)

[Indira · Rating 3 out of 5]

So far this book has done a good job of keeping me interested.There are alot of books out there that is like this,but don't quite connect with this book.I have read recent stories about young teenage girls wanting a desire for sex,losing friends,dying friends.I never knew that just girls would have this kind of problem.For girls it's all about independence.When you fall,you just bounce rigt back up like a bouncy ball.In this review,I wanted to focus on the chapter of a desire for sex.It's not the title but it is similar.These girls have fantisized aboout what would happen,the day or night they would lose their virginity.They should not be thinking,neither should I about sex.Focus on school,getting to college,getting a career and then once you have balanced your life,then that is when you start thinking about sex.At least that is what I am doing.So should other teenage girls when they read this review and when they read this book.I think this is a group discussion that girls just need to have.I am glad a person bought this book back to life.These girls in the book have fantasized,dreamed and have been dissapointed.One girl wanted rose petals,candles,and a silk night gown but all she got was,drunk,not what she fantasized about, and disappointed.One girl was kicking and crying.This is all what happens when girls try to fit in.It just does not work like that.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

**In her own words**

A-now classic book, Mary Pipher's _Reviving Ophelia_ strived to convey the struggles of adolescent girls who were coming of age in "a girl-poisoning culture." However, 17-year-old Sara Shandler realized the best way to do this would be allow the girls to speak for themselves. Passionately engaged in her mission, Sara collected over 800 contributions from adolescent girls on a variety of topics including depression, eating disorders, substance use, self-harm, sexuality, relationships, religion, and death. Selecting the most poignant of these writings, Sara allowed the original voices of the Ophelias to finally be heard:

“_Ophelia Speaks_ is intended to represent both side of our adolescence—our often austere reality as well as our self-affirming laughter. Adolescence has robbed us of some of our youthful giggles, but happiness still remains. Despite our struggles, we have faith in our future…I am hopeful that _Ophelia Speaks_ will raise a consciousness of adolescent girls’ struggles.” (p. 280)

Although the book was published in 1999, it still speaks quite loudly and continues to raise that consciousness. A great read for adults who want to better understand the inner struggles of adolescent girls—and for adolescent girls who want to know that they are not alone.

[stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

hmmm. weird book. i mean, i get it, in that it sought to let teens give voice to their own lives/struggles. the problem, i felt, was that there wasn't enough really there. the pieces of poetry worked better than the prose, for that reason, but i read through this so fast and really didn't learn anything new. i can't decide whether or not i think it was detrimental to have the seventeen year old author write intros to each piece - i think i would have preferred an older, more objective voice. or a more understanding of the issues voice.

however, i am reading this much later in my life. i can't say that i wouldn't have loved this when i read Reviving Ophelia for the first time. so. i don't know. i would probably give this to girls i was treating in the very early stages of our work together, if they were having problems with the idea that they are not alone in their struggle.

(i actually kind of hate that phrase, because the truth is, we all experience things differently. you can never know truly how i feel. even if two people share a diagnosis, that doesn't mean much. but it's true that i felt better once i realized that people survive with the things i was dealing with - though honestly, Prozac Nation almost killed me.)

[Gigi Blanchard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this book and the idea but took away a star because I think the editor didn't need to sprinkle her own essays which didn't have the same substance as the ones she received. Those pages would have been better filled with people who had similar problems to the Reviving Ophelia, which is the book that preceded this one. A preface of the editor's story would have been enough, I found her inserts boring. BUT I give her credit for her brilliant idea in having girls write essays and appreciate that she wanted to give the girls a voice. I do think she should have applauded Mary Pipher since this book was an extension of her work. Shandler's comments came off like a rebuttal, which is ironic since that was the attitude of the girls Pipher tried to save. Do keep in mind that Shandler was young when she put this together. I also didn't like how she gave the stories away by talking about them before we got to read them so I found myself skipping through a lot as not to spoil the essays.

[tAliA :D]

I have been reading this book with a lot of short stories and i like it. This book is very interesting and tells the truth about many things that happen in peoples lives. I have been only reading a few short stories and they have been explaining about a girl and her father might of been killed by this very secret group of men who kill families. This other short story that i have read is about two sisters and the older sister goes to college and she starts missing her. They would always fight a lot and then when her sister was gone she started to miss her and feel like loving her wasn't a chore it was a choice. She knew that she loved her sister but she didnt know that she would miss her so much after a while. She started being all happy right after her sister left but after a while she missed fighting with her and not havin to love her even thought she loved her a lot. So far, i really like this book and i hope the next stories would be as exciting as the other one were.

[Melodie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"In adolescence, stickers and dolls mix with sex and depression" (279).
This book does the same, mixing the innocent with the unthinkable, the child with the woman.
Sara Shandler is a terrific writer and role model for young women to emulate. At 16 (inspired by Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia), she took a brilliant concept to a publishing company, received a contract, and went about making her vision become a reality. The output, this book, is a heart-wrenching look into the deepest secrets of adolescent girls from the girls themselves. Some of the stories are raw, and difficult to get through. Others are inspirational and uplifting. There's poetry clearly written by confused teens, and poetry that could have been written by a skilled poet. A few of the categories include: Body Image, Mothers, Rape, Death, Love, Friendship. Overall, it was an honest look into the lives of hurting and empowered females alike. Some of it was amazing and some of it was awful.

[Destiny Mcsweeney]

I enjoyed reading Ophelia Speaks by Sara Shandler. The format of the book was especially easy for someone who doesn't read often, like me, to read and genuinely enjoy. The stories are short but with enough detail, and accurately display the problems and experiences adolescent girls face today. There is a story for every girl out there. The short contributions show young women that they are not alone; that there are others who have or are dealing with the same issues. Anyone can read anything, but young girls and mothers of young girls would be more likely to appreciate the book. She asked hundreds of girls from around the country and from a wide range of backgrounds to write about the most important of their life experiences. The result is Ophelia Speaks, a book of their stories that will be important and useful to anyone wanting descriptions of the life-shaping experiences faced by teenage girls.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good companion book to Reviving Ophelia. The writers in this book are open about some of the most painful and most wonderful experiences of their adolescence and lives as girls. Shandler wins a lot of my admiration for putting this volume together at such a young age and for selecting a truly diverse and moving array of submissions. My only complaint is that Shandler's potions of the book feel a bit too long for me. I wish she had written a longer general introduction and then let the writers speak for themselves. The summaries of short poems seemed entirely unnecessary, and several times her attempts to relate to a topic like race or self-harm fell short. If a higher proportion of the book had been dedicated to the girls who shared their experiences, I would have given this another star.

[Mollie Heil · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book for a high school sociology project, and it definitely fulfilled my expectations. I chose this book because I wanted to focus on teenage girls and how they work within our society, and this book really was the perfect candidate. It was made up of submissions from teenage girls around the world that were specific to certain topics like drugs, sex, family, friends, and much more. Each chapter was focused on one topic and consisted of 2-5 submissions. The submissions were all written by the teenage girls, so the book was very easy to read. They ranged from poems, to essays, to journal entries, and they were all unique and entertaining. A lot of them were very heavy and serious, and some were comical. I really enjoyed reading this book and I think that any other teenage girl will be able to relate to a lot of the stories within Ophelia Speaks.

[Bernadette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first book that I read in the first year of school, besides the books I read over the summer. Anyway after reading the book i thought that it was a very cool book since their were so many stories from teenage girls who have experienced so much in their life. I must say that some of the stories were really sad, but their were other stories that made me pretty happy. Even though each story was different it was pretty inspiring. The people who wrote stories have a lot of courage because it must be hard to put a stories and their experiences in their for people to read, put they probably helped out a lot of people who are in the same or similar situations like that. Anyway I enjoyed the book and it was pretty nice reading something like, by real people for a change.

[Susan Connell Biggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a powerful book. This book, her response to Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, is a collection of essays, journal entries and poems written by adolescent girls about the challenges and joys they encountered as they searched for a sense of self. Some of these challenges are more difficult to read about: depression, suicide, and eating disorders. Others are more tender, some even funny as girls talk about important friendships and relationships. This book is a great gift the author gave girls much like herself--the gift of having their voices heard.
It's been on my shelf for a while--waiting. With my own daughter entering high school next year, the time seemed right. You know how it is--how books find you when you most need them.

[Yvonne O'Connor · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author is a 17 year old who read "Reviving Ophelia" and decided that teenage girls could express in their own words what troubles and trials they have faced. The result is a compilation of first-person stories and poems on topics ranging from self-image to family to substance abuse. The author provides a mini introduction to each chapter with her own take on the subject and ties the submissions together.

Although an impressive and interesting concept, the result is more boring than a 14 year old's diary. Probably only 10% of this book held my interest at all. I thought I would identify with the stories, but Sara chose abstract versions and artsy pieces rather than straightforward ones. A real disappointment.

[Jaclyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finally figured out why this book has taken me years to finish. I thought it was being too busy when I picked it up and put it down years ago. However, this book (inspired by "Reviving Ophelia" - brilliant but too detailed), is a collection of teenage girls responding to different topics (loss, drugs, etc). The concept of this book was good, but I felt like it only showed the negative. it was raw and real, but depressing and ultimately, unfulfilling because there was no conclusion to the stories of girls with eating disorders or cutting issues. I think there are probably better books out there that give young girls voices.