The Gnome Exchange Program: North Pole Rescue

by Matt Caliri

There's only one person who can save Christmas this year, and it's not Santa Clause. This year the fate of everyone's favorite holiday rests solely in the hands of a twelve-year-old gnome named Geronimo. Luckily, Geronimo is no ordinary gnome. With his wits and daring, he should have absolutely no trouble tracking down the evil Krampus and bringing him back to the North Pole. . .

Genres: Holiday

272 pages, Paperback

Published October 10, 2017

About the author

I was born in New Orleans, LA to a family of ruffians. As lovable and courageous and enchanting as they all were, I knew I was the roughest of all the ruffians. We moved many times growing up: New Orleans to Cape Cod to Hawaii to Rhode Island (back) to New Orleans (back) to Hawaii, then off I went to college at Loyola Marymount University in L.A., where I began writing my first screenplays. The screenplays turned into novels, and THE GNOME EXCHANGE PROGRAM was my 2nd attempt at the novel format. And now it is a bona fide book, full of comic adventure and irreverent zaniness. It beats to a wholesome drum, for ages 12 and up. I borrow a lot from my ridiculous Italian family, and all the other voices in my head.

I currently live with my lovely wife Julie, and our 3 kids (with one on the way) here in Seattle, Washington. I work with children diagnosed with autism, and I'm currently headed back to school to become a Board Certified Behavioral Analyst.

Also I love sandwiches more than your average bear, and my next novel is most likely about dinosaurs.

Check out my blog I write from the P.O.V. of one of the characters in THE GNOME EXCHANGE PROGRAM: www.Krampusnews.com

Reviews

[†Reviews of a FearStreetZombie† · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book in return for an honest review.

The problem, Dad," he said. "is that good always wins. You're going to lose this battle.

You have no idea how thankful I am that I got to read this book!
It was so stinkin' cute!
Okay, some of the characters really ... really ... really got on my nerves. Yet in the long run, they ended up wiggling their way into my heart. Lol

It's really no secret that I have a crazy obsession with Krampus. Weird, I know, but I do. Anyone who knows me knows I watch the movie Krampus all year around, nearly daily.
So when I read the blurb and it mentioned "Santa's brother" I honestly thought "no way! This book looks way to cute to involve Krampus!" I was wrong. Not only was I wrong, I had such a stuck image of him in my head that when I read Matt's description, my jaw dropped and I couldn't help but chuckle and think "this is going to be awesome." Haha I was right though. It really was awesome.

There was such a mix of characters that it will amaze you. I'm so use to books only offering 2 or 3 types of characters. But in The Gnome Exchange Program you have gnomes, elves, unicorns, invisible goats, humans, Guinea Pigs! lol so much more.

Okay so it wasn't ALL cute. Don't get your knickers in a twist thinking it was all fluff and buttercup. Krampus is creepy as *bleep* so of course it can't be all butterbeer and pumkinjuice. Lol

This book was hard to quit. What I mean by that is I could have finished this all in a single day. But I wanted it to last as long as possible so when I could, I forced myself to put this book down. I knew if I read it all at once, I would be heartbroken in the end because it would be over so fast. Guess what! Still heartbroke. I NEED MORE! Lol


Now, I see what you're thinking. But Ash, you loved it so much yet you only gave it four stars.
why?
Ehh yeah. Mainly because I wanted more Krampus and for him to eat everyone.
I'm. Totally. Kidding.
But really though, some of it felt really rushed. Around the time the Guinea pigs were introduced it got a bit blurry because there were so many and they were hard to keep up with. I still don't know who is who. :/
And it tended to jump a bit. Maybe I was reading to fast or something, that could be it. But it had some huge leaps that left me going "wait. What just happened and how did you get there aaaaand who are you again?" The ending left me with a lot of questions as well. If they went back in time to return her to a few hours after she was taken, how is it the little boy could remember how long she had been gone (I know the calendar; but wouldn't he forget why he marked those days?) and why was Krampus going to where he was going. What does he have up his tattered sleeves?

I need to know! I need more! Lol

[DJMikeG · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super fun, completely absurd romp from start to finish. Not my usual cup of tea, I usually opt for horror, hard boiled noir and sci-fi or non fiction. Full disclosure, the author is an old friend of mine so I was clamoring to read his debut novel. He offered me a copy, but I bought one as I want to support his endeavor. I was very, very impressed. Mr. Caliri has a gift for snappy, witty dialog. He managed to make his story ridiculous, absurd, funny, suspenseful and even melancholy and sad here and there. He throws pretty much everything including the kitchen sink at the reader, and somehow makes it all work. Excellent work, Matt! Highest recommendation for YA readers or adults with their inner kid intact. I look forward to reading the next Matt Caliri novel!

[Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please read review on its entirety at

http://www.compassbookratings.com/rev...

Christmas--it's the most wonderful time of year, but 12-year-old gnome Geronimo doesn't think so!


When Geronimo's parents sign him up for the North Pole Exchange Program, he doesn't think his life could get any lamer. Imagine his surprise when he is sent on a mission to stop Santa's arch-nemesis! Thus begins a crazy adventure to save Christmas.



In author Matt Caliri's debut novel, The Gnome Exchange Program: North Pole Rescue, you can expect to find a whimsy plot that conjures memories of classic childhood Christmas stories. Remember the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer film series? Even though it's reminiscent of these classic tales, it reads modern and will capture the minds of children and adults alike.



Told in third person narrative, readers follow the antics Geronimo the gnome, and the several characters he encounters on his rescue mission. This book kicks off with a shocking backstory that raises the stakes of the whole saga, giving the reader a twisted surprise from the very start. What begins as a very cutesy light tale starts to shift when more destructive behavior is added as the story progresses.



An adorable book for individuals older than Kindergarten age (please seen Content Analysis below.) Let Santa know you want this book under your tree this year!

[Kemi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun story that started off strong, lost its way mid-story, and was pretty much a dumpster fire by the end. Sort of a cross between Elf and Mission: Impossible, it's the story of a centuries-old war between Krampus and Santa, the nice vs. naughty list, a rescue mission gone awry, and a whole host of crazy creatures that help and hinder both sides. (Polar bears and giant guinea pigs are the most mainstream, believe it or not.)

I loved it until it got to interdimensional pond travel and space pods and Santa acting like a jerk. I appreciated the humor and the sarcasm and the asides from writer to reader; however, at that point, it just became a lot to take in-- A LOT.

I'm not sorry I read it, but I can't recommend it, either.

[ween_silyums · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Gnome Exchange Program is a hilarious and witty adventure of an average garden gnome who is sent to the north pole to work for Santa. Matt Caliri takes us on a wild ride of events combining elements of fantasy, science fiction and mythical beings. I really enjoyed this book for the dry clever humor and the authors ability to immerse the reader in a fantasy world that is both hilarious and unpredictable. And as far out as the events are that take place, the story as a whole is enjoyable and endearing. While most of the book does revolves around Christmas, I think it can be enjoyed anytime of the year and by all ages. I also really liked the discussion questions at the end!

[Jennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absurd, convoluted fantasy. I loved it.

[Nicole Shepard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really fun read! Would be great to read to kids... but fun for teens and adults too.

[Lilac A. Penda · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are few things the book did wrong. For one the characters are lack luster, that's the first thing that stood out to me, in the beginning the story wasn't anything glorious or whatever, but the story really blossoms into something more as it continues honestly. The prose was very nice, but the ending was mid, and so was the court session.

[Tammy Bauguess · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m sorry and sad that I didn’t get it, it seemed like a cute story; I kept reading hoping to understand the plot, storyline, hidden life lesson, or anything, but I just couldn’t figure it out!

[Jade Swartzberg Farris · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of the strangest books I've ever read. The plot was completely random and unpredictable - not in a good way. The characters were also random and behaved inconsistantly. It's usually fairly easy for me to enjoy a book once I get into it, but that never happened.