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Praeger Series on the Ancient World
Controlling Desires: Sexuality in Ancient Greece and Rome
“Comprehensive, reader-friendly, richly detailed, forthright, subtle, and very clear, Controlling Desires is the only handbook on ancient sexuality that works persistently to offset modern readers’ assumptions about sex and sexuality, to challenge the notion that sexuality is natural and universal, and to bring out the differences between ancient and modern discourses of sex—or, even, between ancient and modern experiences of desire. As such, it is a very helpful resource for students working on the history of sexuality in classical antiquity, because it shows how such a history might be possible and what is actually historical about sexuality.”
—David M. Halperin, University of Michigan, author of One Hundred Years of Homosexuality , Saint Foucault , and How to Do the History of Homosexuality Since its first publication in 2009, Controlling Desires has been widely lauded as an accessible introduction to sexual practices, attitudes, and beliefs in the classical world. Treating Greece and Rome in separate sections, with ample cross-references and comparisons, Kirk Ormand presents a wide array of evidence from literary texts and visual arts, including two new chapters on Greek vase painting and Roman artifacts and wall paintings.
—David M. Halperin, University of Michigan, author of One Hundred Years of Homosexuality , Saint Foucault , and How to Do the History of Homosexuality Since its first publication in 2009, Controlling Desires has been widely lauded as an accessible introduction to sexual practices, attitudes, and beliefs in the classical world. Treating Greece and Rome in separate sections, with ample cross-references and comparisons, Kirk Ormand presents a wide array of evidence from literary texts and visual arts, including two new chapters on Greek vase painting and Roman artifacts and wall paintings.
440 pages, Paperback
First published December 30, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
November 14, 2009
Don't be intimidated by the topic, this book is totally accessible and readable. Whether you are interested in the ancient world or just in better contextualizing contemporary ideas about sexuality, this book is great. He gives plenty of examples, and provides some endnotes to further reading, but it seems clear he intended for this book to be read by beginners as well as academics, and keeps the prose light and readable while walking you through concepts that will let you talk about this easily with experts.
January 24, 2026
This seems to be my entry into the multi-paragraph Goodreads reviews, lol. I bought this book for my Classics capstone (even though Antinous and Hadrian are not mentioned!) and finally got around to reading it. The book feels like you are reading the notes of a class, which I greatly enjoyed. It provides ample context to the literary pieces cited, and it includes helpful repetition, so I was not lost or having to flip back to previous sections.
In general, I think the author is able to prove his point that our modern categorization of sexuality does not neatly fit Greek or Roman society, and that the idea of “sexuality” in the first place is not a framework used in antiquity. However, while the book argues about the differences between antiquity and modernity, I was most compelled by the parallels I saw between the two, namely the importance of maintaining gender expectations, especially around masculinity, in sex and relationships. I feel like the Greek/Roman distaste for passive men seen throughout the book feels similar to modern homophobia toward gay men, namely an aversion toward effeminate, and thus less powerful, men. Generally, the expectation that men in antiquity should be strong, powerful, and ‘in control’ of their sexual desires and relationships seems very similar to our modern perception of standard masculinity. In addition, the ancient (male) fear of women assuming the active role in sex, and thus exhibiting a masculine trait, seems in line with modern fears of women taking traditionally masculine roles (as a side note, and I know that for many reasons this is not the case, but I wish there were more examples of female sexuality in the book). I guess I’m saying that I think this book does a good job of exploring gender expectations in sex/relationships and violations of these norms in antiquity, and I think more explicit commentary on this topic would have been very additive to me. When these topics could have naturally been explored, the author just synthesizes the section instead with “…but ancient people would not have cared that [ancient author] describes sex with both men and women,” which felt like a shallow conclusion for everything that had been presented.
My favorite part of the book was the wealth of classical stories, many of which I was unfamiliar with, and the analyses of them. The ones I enjoyed the most were Catullus 50, Theocritus’s Idyll 2 (Simaetha), and Ovid’s Book 9 (Iphis and Ianthe). Notably, the analysis of Catullus 50 and Iphis/Ianthe both emphasize the depiction of a longing for a true equal and its rarity in antiquity, which I’ve been reading and thinking about in a modern context, so I was intrigued by the parallels I saw. I also appreciated the opportunity to revisit some works I had read in high school, and it was interesting to gain a new perspective on them (and realize that some sexual content had been glossed over).
TL;DR: an easy and compelling read for what could be a dense topic, but one that I’ve studied and written about more than the average person. While the author’s argument tries to emphasize the differences between antiquity and the modern world, I was more compelled by the similarities I saw through the literary examples and analyses. And, I should’ve been a Classics major :/
In general, I think the author is able to prove his point that our modern categorization of sexuality does not neatly fit Greek or Roman society, and that the idea of “sexuality” in the first place is not a framework used in antiquity. However, while the book argues about the differences between antiquity and modernity, I was most compelled by the parallels I saw between the two, namely the importance of maintaining gender expectations, especially around masculinity, in sex and relationships. I feel like the Greek/Roman distaste for passive men seen throughout the book feels similar to modern homophobia toward gay men, namely an aversion toward effeminate, and thus less powerful, men. Generally, the expectation that men in antiquity should be strong, powerful, and ‘in control’ of their sexual desires and relationships seems very similar to our modern perception of standard masculinity. In addition, the ancient (male) fear of women assuming the active role in sex, and thus exhibiting a masculine trait, seems in line with modern fears of women taking traditionally masculine roles (as a side note, and I know that for many reasons this is not the case, but I wish there were more examples of female sexuality in the book). I guess I’m saying that I think this book does a good job of exploring gender expectations in sex/relationships and violations of these norms in antiquity, and I think more explicit commentary on this topic would have been very additive to me. When these topics could have naturally been explored, the author just synthesizes the section instead with “…but ancient people would not have cared that [ancient author] describes sex with both men and women,” which felt like a shallow conclusion for everything that had been presented.
My favorite part of the book was the wealth of classical stories, many of which I was unfamiliar with, and the analyses of them. The ones I enjoyed the most were Catullus 50, Theocritus’s Idyll 2 (Simaetha), and Ovid’s Book 9 (Iphis and Ianthe). Notably, the analysis of Catullus 50 and Iphis/Ianthe both emphasize the depiction of a longing for a true equal and its rarity in antiquity, which I’ve been reading and thinking about in a modern context, so I was intrigued by the parallels I saw. I also appreciated the opportunity to revisit some works I had read in high school, and it was interesting to gain a new perspective on them (and realize that some sexual content had been glossed over).
TL;DR: an easy and compelling read for what could be a dense topic, but one that I’ve studied and written about more than the average person. While the author’s argument tries to emphasize the differences between antiquity and the modern world, I was more compelled by the similarities I saw through the literary examples and analyses. And, I should’ve been a Classics major :/
July 11, 2020
Kirk is, as ever, a brilliant, thorough, & insightful scholar of sexuality in the ancient world
March 31, 2023
me reading a book about sex: whag the fuck theres sex in here
October 17, 2020
First of all, I love the cover of this revised edition. It’s way better than the original edition.
Ok, now that that is out of the way, this books was very readable, informative, interesting and well paced. It does not require much background knowledge on Ancient Greece and Rome but readers who have read up on other topics in classical history won’t be bored. A basic outline is given in the back, but most historical events are only discussed if they are relevant to the understanding of sexuality or gender. I mentioned gender because although this book is ostensibly a discussion on sexuality anytime Ormand gets close to identifying an ancient person or type of person with a modern category of sexuality he changes course and instead call them a gender variant. While I understand the difficulties and inherent problems with assign modern sexualities and gender categories to ancient people, I think Ormand goes a little too far. After all, he also concludes that what defines a man in Roman society is different than what defines a man today, but no one argues against calling all roman males men regardless of how the Romans would have thought of them. He may be trying hard to divorce these ancient sexualities from the modern LGBTQ+ rights movements for ideological reasons as in a one off comment towards the end he states the in the Bible, Paul unambiguously condemns gay sex. This is after he explicitly has stated that the words we identify with homosexual relate to gender variants and self control more than sexual behavior. So I found that a bit of a flip flop...
I do think that even if we accept that ancient notions of sexuality were completely different from our current categories it is still important to note that queer sexualities existed in the ancient world. There were people who didn’t fit into binary gender categories in the ancient world. Homosexual desire existed. Exclusive homosexual desire existed. Models for asexual relationships existed. Female homosexual desire existed. Women who preformed masculinity existed. Men who preformed femininity existed.
Ok, now that that is out of the way, this books was very readable, informative, interesting and well paced. It does not require much background knowledge on Ancient Greece and Rome but readers who have read up on other topics in classical history won’t be bored. A basic outline is given in the back, but most historical events are only discussed if they are relevant to the understanding of sexuality or gender. I mentioned gender because although this book is ostensibly a discussion on sexuality anytime Ormand gets close to identifying an ancient person or type of person with a modern category of sexuality he changes course and instead call them a gender variant. While I understand the difficulties and inherent problems with assign modern sexualities and gender categories to ancient people, I think Ormand goes a little too far. After all, he also concludes that what defines a man in Roman society is different than what defines a man today, but no one argues against calling all roman males men regardless of how the Romans would have thought of them. He may be trying hard to divorce these ancient sexualities from the modern LGBTQ+ rights movements for ideological reasons as in a one off comment towards the end he states the in the Bible, Paul unambiguously condemns gay sex. This is after he explicitly has stated that the words we identify with homosexual relate to gender variants and self control more than sexual behavior. So I found that a bit of a flip flop...
I do think that even if we accept that ancient notions of sexuality were completely different from our current categories it is still important to note that queer sexualities existed in the ancient world. There were people who didn’t fit into binary gender categories in the ancient world. Homosexual desire existed. Exclusive homosexual desire existed. Models for asexual relationships existed. Female homosexual desire existed. Women who preformed masculinity existed. Men who preformed femininity existed.
May 26, 2018
This is an extremely helpful academic book for understanding Ancient Greek and Roman sexuality time-period by time-period, genre/media-by genre/media. I probably should have written this review chapter-by-chapter, but let's see if I can remember the very basic main points of this 450-something page book.
As the title suggests, Ancient Greeks and Romans are very concerned with establishing self-control over all aspects of their lives, and this includes sex. A lack of self-control may be marked by too much sex or the wrong kind of sex, but nobody really cares all that much about the sex itself; it's all about the lack of self-control the sex REPRESENTS.
The axis of ancient sexuality is more or less penetrator/penetratee, and it doesn't matter what gender the penetratee is (as opposed to modern sexuality for which gender is the main category).
Greek (or rather Athenian) sexuality caters to elite men, but elite men were once elite boys, who would provide (so long as they don't TALK about it) sexual favors for elite men, but weren't supposed to enjoy it. Then, when they become elite men, it's perfectly expected that the cycle continues.
Roman sexuality is never sex-between-equals. Roman elite men can penetrate literally anyone who is NOT a citizen, in whatever way they want, and that's fine. For Roman elite men to be penetrated is seen by society at large as demeaning, but gender in general is not the issue.
I really found interesting one of the later points about the Greek novel, where there's a giant shift from the idea of Eros as a source of Major Trouble to a positive force that keeps young people in love together (but virginal, because of their valorous self-control) through all manner of difficulty (e.g., pirates) until they can make it home and get parental permission to get married.
Overall, this is an excellent book, and I will doubtless come back to specific chapters as necessary.
As the title suggests, Ancient Greeks and Romans are very concerned with establishing self-control over all aspects of their lives, and this includes sex. A lack of self-control may be marked by too much sex or the wrong kind of sex, but nobody really cares all that much about the sex itself; it's all about the lack of self-control the sex REPRESENTS.
The axis of ancient sexuality is more or less penetrator/penetratee, and it doesn't matter what gender the penetratee is (as opposed to modern sexuality for which gender is the main category).
Greek (or rather Athenian) sexuality caters to elite men, but elite men were once elite boys, who would provide (so long as they don't TALK about it) sexual favors for elite men, but weren't supposed to enjoy it. Then, when they become elite men, it's perfectly expected that the cycle continues.
Roman sexuality is never sex-between-equals. Roman elite men can penetrate literally anyone who is NOT a citizen, in whatever way they want, and that's fine. For Roman elite men to be penetrated is seen by society at large as demeaning, but gender in general is not the issue.
I really found interesting one of the later points about the Greek novel, where there's a giant shift from the idea of Eros as a source of Major Trouble to a positive force that keeps young people in love together (but virginal, because of their valorous self-control) through all manner of difficulty (e.g., pirates) until they can make it home and get parental permission to get married.
Overall, this is an excellent book, and I will doubtless come back to specific chapters as necessary.
April 19, 2024
Highly recommend this for anyone curious about the history of gender and sexuality in ancient Greece and Rome. Well-written with numerous, thoughtfully translated excerpts. Very interesting to see the seeds of our modern perceptions of gender roles and sexual norms as well as the many, often surprising differences. Plenty of fun sex facts and lewd poems to shock and amuse your friends with :)
July 14, 2023
"In this book, I outline the basic structures of sexual practice and the fundamental categories through which the Greeks and Romans understood the world of sexual behavior."
Oberlin classics professor Kirk Ormand shines a light on classical Greek and Roman sexual beliefs, rules, and practices in this illuminating book. Not only is Controlling Desires illuminating in its own right, but it will also bring clarity to anything else one reads about sexuality in the ancient Greco-Roman world.
For example, the most interesting thing I learned from the book was that according to the predominant ancient Greek view of sexuality, all people had the potential to be attracted to any gender or to have any sexual preference. If one had "too much" sex or the "wrong kind" of sex, the view went, one would become more and more hedonistic and seek out more and more extreme activities as they succombed to "sexual excess."
According to Ormand, the ancient Greeks viewed the sexual appetite as analogous to the appetite for food (and sexual excess as analogous to overeating) in the sense that each could be directed toward a wide range of things, healthy or unhealthy, and that moderation and self-discipline were important for reigning in each appetite and avoiding each form of excess.
This obviously differs a great deal from the modern concept of sexual orientation, which sees sexual desire as working within a smaller range (most people only report experiencing, or being able to experience, sexual attraction/desire/etc. toward one gender and not toward others), doesn't associate any sexual orientations with excess (i.e., acknowledges the possibility of, for example, being a gay man whose sex life is free of excess and perhaps even relatively conventional), and sees sexual orientations as fixed and longstanding (i.e., unlikely to undergo significant change).
Knowing that the ancient Greeks didn't have a concept of sexual orientation like ours, and knowing what their alternative understanding of sexuality was, will be useful whenever I'm reading about sexuality and ancient Greece in the future. Controlling Desires provides a comprehensive, informative, and accessible account of what sexuality was like in the ancient Greco-Roman world, and I'd recommend it to anyone with an interest in sexuality or classical studies.
By the way, I love the cover art that the University of Texas Press put on the second edition. (The cover that Goodreads currently uses is of the first edition.) It's colorful and has a nice script font. Very pretty. Buy the second edition, it'll look nice on your shelf!
Oberlin classics professor Kirk Ormand shines a light on classical Greek and Roman sexual beliefs, rules, and practices in this illuminating book. Not only is Controlling Desires illuminating in its own right, but it will also bring clarity to anything else one reads about sexuality in the ancient Greco-Roman world.
For example, the most interesting thing I learned from the book was that according to the predominant ancient Greek view of sexuality, all people had the potential to be attracted to any gender or to have any sexual preference. If one had "too much" sex or the "wrong kind" of sex, the view went, one would become more and more hedonistic and seek out more and more extreme activities as they succombed to "sexual excess."
According to Ormand, the ancient Greeks viewed the sexual appetite as analogous to the appetite for food (and sexual excess as analogous to overeating) in the sense that each could be directed toward a wide range of things, healthy or unhealthy, and that moderation and self-discipline were important for reigning in each appetite and avoiding each form of excess.
This obviously differs a great deal from the modern concept of sexual orientation, which sees sexual desire as working within a smaller range (most people only report experiencing, or being able to experience, sexual attraction/desire/etc. toward one gender and not toward others), doesn't associate any sexual orientations with excess (i.e., acknowledges the possibility of, for example, being a gay man whose sex life is free of excess and perhaps even relatively conventional), and sees sexual orientations as fixed and longstanding (i.e., unlikely to undergo significant change).
Knowing that the ancient Greeks didn't have a concept of sexual orientation like ours, and knowing what their alternative understanding of sexuality was, will be useful whenever I'm reading about sexuality and ancient Greece in the future. Controlling Desires provides a comprehensive, informative, and accessible account of what sexuality was like in the ancient Greco-Roman world, and I'd recommend it to anyone with an interest in sexuality or classical studies.
By the way, I love the cover art that the University of Texas Press put on the second edition. (The cover that Goodreads currently uses is of the first edition.) It's colorful and has a nice script font. Very pretty. Buy the second edition, it'll look nice on your shelf!
June 4, 2024
Really interesting! I love how much can be learnt about the general culture, lifestyle, and popular figures of Ancient Greece and Rome, despite ostensibly viewing everything through the lens of sexuality. My favourite parts were the sections on the Ancient Greek lyric poets (some of whom obviously found misogyny irresistible...), the hilarious plays of Aristophanes, and the entire chapter on Emperor Nero.
'The beginning of the list of crimes deals almost exclusively with Nero's appearances on stage, his dramatic performances, and his trips to Greece, in which he caused the Olympic Games to be held in an off year (67CE) and introduced a singing competition, which he entered and, to no one's surprise, won.'
'The various pieces of the puzzle come into place. It is not just that Nero liked to have sex with boys; rather, his obsession with Poppaea extended beyond her death, and in a desperate manoeuvre, he replaced her with a castrated freedman who looked just like her.'
'The beginning of the list of crimes deals almost exclusively with Nero's appearances on stage, his dramatic performances, and his trips to Greece, in which he caused the Olympic Games to be held in an off year (67CE) and introduced a singing competition, which he entered and, to no one's surprise, won.'
'The various pieces of the puzzle come into place. It is not just that Nero liked to have sex with boys; rather, his obsession with Poppaea extended beyond her death, and in a desperate manoeuvre, he replaced her with a castrated freedman who looked just like her.'
March 27, 2025
read for class
it’s a bit tedious and i’m not the biggest fan of ancient greek history, which large parts of this deal with, but it was pretty interesting nevertheless
it’s a bit tedious and i’m not the biggest fan of ancient greek history, which large parts of this deal with, but it was pretty interesting nevertheless
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews