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Hawks Motorcycle Club #4.5
Coming Out
Living a lie, Matthew ‘Mattie’ Alexander is exhausted. It’s not easy to keep up the pretence, the deceit, but it’s safer. Coming out to a world who so easily hate takes a courage he’s yet to find, so he pretends – pretends to be into women – pretends to love being a part of the university’s football team. It keeps him safe, hidden.
Until he meets Julian.
From the moment they first meet, Mattie knows life is about to change. He’s yet to determine if it is for the better or worse.
Living life through laughter, Julian is lonely. Without the jokes, the humour, he would be living on the edge of depression. Succumbing to his controlling father’s demands, Julian finds no joy in the path laid out before him.
Until he meets Mattie.
As soon as they cross paths, Mattie has the power to drive Julian’s man parts crazy with lust. But can lust be enough to help Mattie out of the closet, and guide Julian into a happier place?
Limits will be pushed. Rules will be broken. But it’s only together, that they will have the strength to overpower fear, fear of themselves and fear of others. Just how far are they willing to go in the aim of coming out?
Until he meets Julian.
From the moment they first meet, Mattie knows life is about to change. He’s yet to determine if it is for the better or worse.
Living life through laughter, Julian is lonely. Without the jokes, the humour, he would be living on the edge of depression. Succumbing to his controlling father’s demands, Julian finds no joy in the path laid out before him.
Until he meets Mattie.
As soon as they cross paths, Mattie has the power to drive Julian’s man parts crazy with lust. But can lust be enough to help Mattie out of the closet, and guide Julian into a happier place?
Limits will be pushed. Rules will be broken. But it’s only together, that they will have the strength to overpower fear, fear of themselves and fear of others. Just how far are they willing to go in the aim of coming out?
Unknown Binding
First published June 2, 2015
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About the author
Lila Rose
60 books3,973 followers Lila Rose is also known as L. Rose.
Lila Rose has moved about Australia a lot of her life. Currently, she lives in country Victoria Australia with her husband and two children.
Lila is addicted to coffee, chocolate and reading.
She also loves to write humorous romance. For all novels that come from her weird brain, check out her website!
Lila Rose has moved about Australia a lot of her life. Currently, she lives in country Victoria Australia with her husband and two children.
Lila is addicted to coffee, chocolate and reading.
She also loves to write humorous romance. For all novels that come from her weird brain, check out her website!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 241 reviews
August 14, 2015
Choosing shelf Oy vey. Could this have been a little more melodramatic? Throw in some more purple prose and perhaps an evil stepsister and you've got a full blown soap opera. And the writing is awful. Stilted, unrealistic dialogue, cartoonish villains, insulting characters, and a weak plot. It's badly paced, and Mattie's behavior never (never) made sense. He came out to his parents, but kept on denying he was gay. Don't even ask, I don't know what the fuck...
"Sweat spouted forward all over me."
"'But as I was saying, sugar-dick, I do worry about the age difference, but it won't keep me away. Not when a man like you can turn my cock hard in seconds. I'm annoyed to leave here with the deepest shade of blue balls..."
"'And, handsome, I'm privileged you want to take this step with me; I'm horny as hell, but ecstatic you picked me.'"
"...had never felt so hot for another in all my gay years before."
"Giddiness of pleasure swept through me."
"If it had of been longer, I would have run screaming..."
"And he was a man, no other his age had the maturity that he did."
"My heart, head, and soul were fit to burst with the raging emotions swirling through me."
"He was it for me and there would be, in no way, shape, or form, I would miss what was about to happen."
"...the thought of keeping him to myself for the rest of my living life..."
"...found myself nervous as excitement raced through me in expectation."
"Oh, snap off a strap on. My man was hurting."
"I liked it more than chocolate and that I could off for the rest of my gay life."
"My cock grumbled in displeasure."
"...I swear my pounding gay heart stopped."
He makes no mention of his rusty gay car, his ginger gay cat, his electric gay blanket, or even his psychedelic, gay lava lamp. And I want to know why.
"Sweat spouted forward all over me."
"'But as I was saying, sugar-dick, I do worry about the age difference, but it won't keep me away. Not when a man like you can turn my cock hard in seconds. I'm annoyed to leave here with the deepest shade of blue balls..."
"'And, handsome, I'm privileged you want to take this step with me; I'm horny as hell, but ecstatic you picked me.'"
"...had never felt so hot for another in all my gay years before."
"Giddiness of pleasure swept through me."
"If it had of been longer, I would have run screaming..."
"And he was a man, no other his age had the maturity that he did."
"My heart, head, and soul were fit to burst with the raging emotions swirling through me."
"He was it for me and there would be, in no way, shape, or form, I would miss what was about to happen."
"...the thought of keeping him to myself for the rest of my living life..."
"...found myself nervous as excitement raced through me in expectation."
"Oh, snap off a strap on. My man was hurting."
"I liked it more than chocolate and that I could off for the rest of my gay life."
"My cock grumbled in displeasure."
"...I swear my pounding gay heart stopped."
He makes no mention of his rusty gay car, his ginger gay cat, his electric gay blanket, or even his psychedelic, gay lava lamp. And I want to know why.
June 14, 2015
This book was every awful thing I hate about many m/f romances out there. I knew it was written by a m/f author. But I'd seen some great reviews. Clearly, these reviews are from the fans of the author's regular stories. I wanted to permanently plant my head against the desk. Cheesy, over the top, nothing felt real or genuine. The writing itself wasn't awful, the only thing saving it from 1 star.
June 15, 2015
3.5 Stars
Mattie is a 19 year old jock, hiding his true self from his teammates and family. Tired of living a lie he finally comes out to his parents, but isn't ready to tell anyone else, knowing that they will react negatively. But then he meets Julian who is brought in to massage Mattie and his teammates after their practices. Julian is a 36 year old man, doing his paren't bidding to protect his cousin from them. Mattie tries to fight the attraction he feels toward Julian, but that's just not possible.
This book was so different than what I was expecting. I have loved Julian ever since I read Holding out and was looking forward to getting his and Mattie's story. It ended up being a lot darker than what I thought, though. Julian didn't have a good past, and I wanted to seriously go learn some kick ass ninja skills and then go and beat his parents repeatedly. It's really amazing to know what an awesome, funny person he becomes even after dealing with his shitty past.
I think that if I never read the first books in this series than Coming Out would have been a five star read. But after seeing Julian in those books I was disappointed by his character in this one. He wasn't as crazy and out there as he was in the authors. He is one of my favorite characters from this series, but his character just wasn't the same in this.
Overall, this is a really good read and had some very smexy times that were HAWT ;) There was a lot of emotional parts dealing with some heavy issues that gave me a really different look at these characters that I liked.
Bottom line,
Mattie is a 19 year old jock, hiding his true self from his teammates and family. Tired of living a lie he finally comes out to his parents, but isn't ready to tell anyone else, knowing that they will react negatively. But then he meets Julian who is brought in to massage Mattie and his teammates after their practices. Julian is a 36 year old man, doing his paren't bidding to protect his cousin from them. Mattie tries to fight the attraction he feels toward Julian, but that's just not possible.
"I'm your number one stalker now and I'm not letting you go."
This book was so different than what I was expecting. I have loved Julian ever since I read Holding out and was looking forward to getting his and Mattie's story. It ended up being a lot darker than what I thought, though. Julian didn't have a good past, and I wanted to seriously go learn some kick ass ninja skills and then go and beat his parents repeatedly. It's really amazing to know what an awesome, funny person he becomes even after dealing with his shitty past.
I think that if I never read the first books in this series than Coming Out would have been a five star read. But after seeing Julian in those books I was disappointed by his character in this one. He wasn't as crazy and out there as he was in the authors. He is one of my favorite characters from this series, but his character just wasn't the same in this.
Overall, this is a really good read and had some very smexy times that were HAWT ;) There was a lot of emotional parts dealing with some heavy issues that gave me a really different look at these characters that I liked.
Bottom line,
June 6, 2019
3.5 stars
July 8, 2020
**3.5 Stars**
Another mixed bag for me. In ways, I loved it. These two were sweet together and I loved how alpha Mattie was even if he was considerably younger than Julian. I loved how supportive Mattie's parents were as well.
But...because there's always a but...once again, I felt like I missed some important pieces at the end because this is in the middle of a MF series. I'm guessing it was previous books events that were summarized at the end. I was like
I also felt like this went into the super duper OTT category with Julian's parents. He was in his 30's and his dad abused him? Had a key to his apartment? Told him what job he had to have? I get the blackmail with the cousin, but still...you would think Julian was smart enough to get out of that sooner.
Speaking of Julian, I found him to be OTT as well and he grated on my nerves at times.
However, I still enjoyed it and loved how they were with each other. I would really like to see them together some more though. But, I won't be reading the MF books any time soon.
Another mixed bag for me. In ways, I loved it. These two were sweet together and I loved how alpha Mattie was even if he was considerably younger than Julian. I loved how supportive Mattie's parents were as well.
But...because there's always a but...once again, I felt like I missed some important pieces at the end because this is in the middle of a MF series. I'm guessing it was previous books events that were summarized at the end. I was like
I also felt like this went into the super duper OTT category with Julian's parents. He was in his 30's and his dad abused him? Had a key to his apartment? Told him what job he had to have? I get the blackmail with the cousin, but still...you would think Julian was smart enough to get out of that sooner.
Speaking of Julian, I found him to be OTT as well and he grated on my nerves at times.
However, I still enjoyed it and loved how they were with each other. I would really like to see them together some more though. But, I won't be reading the MF books any time soon.
July 9, 2015
2.5 stars!
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August 19, 2024
Wtaf. How does this have such high reviews.
I'm thinking its because it's from the fans of the author who writes mf.
If you're a long time reader of mm just stay away from this. It's so badly written. It opens like an non queer author's wet dream about a locker room massage and HS football player, (who the author makes sure you understand is 19 right from the get go.)
It's just...bad. Just avoid it. Yes it's on audible plus right now which was the only reason I gave it a chance.
Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
I'm thinking its because it's from the fans of the author who writes mf.
If you're a long time reader of mm just stay away from this. It's so badly written. It opens like an non queer author's wet dream about a locker room massage and HS football player, (who the author makes sure you understand is 19 right from the get go.)
It's just...bad. Just avoid it. Yes it's on audible plus right now which was the only reason I gave it a chance.
Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
July 12, 2015
I really considered DNFing this book even before 15%. Julian is a 36 year old man who lives on his own but lets his father beat the shit out of him. His parents feel it would be better if he was never born.
So since I summed up Julian as TSTL I really wasn't interested in his love story with 19 year old Matthew. There were some really corny sayings throughout the book that just had me rolling my eyes. Here's one for your enjoyment: "As in, you want my meat package to join with your bun package?"
The only saving grace was Matt's parents who were very funny and inappropriate at times. But then in the epilogue we get this:
I didn't read the other books but the folks who showed up in the epilogue could have been explained better. I didn't understand how Matt or Julian could have a connection to a biker gang or maybe it was through Matt's sister or his best friend. Either way I read some reviews and I saw that this was a first time m/m read for some and I see a lot of 5 star ratings. All I can think of this book is what Fifty Shades of Grey was to women who didn't really know what good erotica is.
So since I summed up Julian as TSTL I really wasn't interested in his love story with 19 year old Matthew. There were some really corny sayings throughout the book that just had me rolling my eyes. Here's one for your enjoyment: "As in, you want my meat package to join with your bun package?"
The only saving grace was Matt's parents who were very funny and inappropriate at times. But then in the epilogue we get this:
I didn't read the other books but the folks who showed up in the epilogue could have been explained better. I didn't understand how Matt or Julian could have a connection to a biker gang or maybe it was through Matt's sister or his best friend. Either way I read some reviews and I saw that this was a first time m/m read for some and I see a lot of 5 star ratings. All I can think of this book is what Fifty Shades of Grey was to women who didn't really know what good erotica is.
May 24, 2015
I have to say this is the very first book I have read which is a love story between the same sex.
I have no reason for NOT reading one before, just never crossed my path before.
As any love story goes, it doesn't always run smooth, and between two males is just as difficult but with added difficulties because of stigma.
Yep, stigma and discrimination that still is around to this very day, which I find so hard to believe.
Mattie is in the football team at University. Mattie has been living a lie. Its not easy to 'come out' and say you prefer guys and not gals, that you get 'turned on' by those of your own sex and not the opposite sex.
Living in the world is hard enough, living, playing and working along with other football male members is even harder when they know that their physical therapist is gay. He gets some terrible discrimination thrown his way and even physically.
Mattie is turned on by Julian who rubs him down after a match, he has to hide the obvious attraction underneath a towel around his waist!
I found Mattie to be very lonely, and he really did like hiding behind his facade he made himself. Until one night he finds Julian at a bar being approached by a guy man, then he stands up and gets counted....but not too much...
Like I say, this is the first MM or same sex romance I have read and I have found it simply like anything else, its a love between two people with hardships, trials and tribulations, but of course, they have other obstacles that 'straight' people will not come across.
I just wish there wasn't so many judges of other peoples lives about and everyone could live and let live which became apparent to me in the read.
Lila Rose has written a good book which I enjoyed reading.
November 21, 2023
11/21/2023
I might change my mind. Whenever I get around to reading book one. I doubt that will be any time soon.
I might change my mind. Whenever I get around to reading book one. I doubt that will be any time soon.
July 13, 2023
«Mattie es el amor de mi vida. Amar a Matthew Alexander fue fácil. Me hizo querer ser una mejor persona, tener una relación comprometida. Eso era algo que nunca había deseado antes. Me hizo sentir fuerte, deseado, querido y amado.»
☆ En esta historia corta tenemos a Mattie un chico de 19 años que se encuentra en el closet y no se atreve a contarle a sus amigos o familia que es gay. Julien es un hombre de 36 años que vive sometido bajo las amenazas, el abuso físico y psicológico de su padre, quien constantemente lo golpea por ser gay y no comportarse como un “hombre”. Por cuestiones del equipo de fútbol en el que está Mattie, contratan a un nuevo masajista y así es como comienza la historia de Julien y Mattie.
☆ El desarrollo de ambos protagonistas de manera individual me gustó mucho, vemos a Mattie superar sus miedos e inseguridades para decirle a sus papás que es gay, tiene unos padres increíbles que lo aman incondicionalmente y por supuesto que lo aceptan. A Julien también lo vemos enfrentar a su padre y no dejar que lo siga golpeando tan brutalmente, adquiere confianza en sí mismo para usar la ropa que quiera, hablar como mejor le parezca, ser libre y orgulloso. Ciertamente ambos fueron una gran de red de apoyo y motivación para el otro, la manera en que Mattie defiende y protege a Julien es muy inspirador. Es precioso ver como toda la familia acoge a Julien como un miembro más de la familia y lo aprueban para hacer una vida junto a su hijo Mattie.
☆ Desafortunadamente fueron más las cosas que no me gustaron de este libro, como el hecho de que haya una gran diferencia de edad: Julien con 36 y Mattie con solo 19; sé qué hay personas a las que no les importa pero esta reseña es acerca de lo que a MÍ me gusta, así que espero se puedan respetar las opiniones. Mattie no tiene ninguna experiencia con los chicos y sentí que Julien lo manípulo hasta que finalmente accedió a tener intimidad, pero constantemente se puede leer como Mattie está inseguro, apenado o incluso lo percibí incómodo; hay una escena en particular en donde Mattie pide que Julien se detenga pero Julien sigue tocándolo y acariciándolo hasta Mattie está lo suficientemente excitado como para seguir hablando, eso para mí no fue consentimiento y claramente Julien abusó de Mattie. Por si fuera poco, tenemos un mal manejo del tema del abuso sexual, pues nos enteramos de que Julien fue enviado, cuando era un niño, a estar con su abuelo que lo violaba constantemente con el “consentimiento” del propio padre de Julien; es nefasto ver como no hay ninguna consecuencia ni para el papá, ni para el abuelo, se les permite a ambos seguir con sus vidas para que puedan seguir abusando de otros más vulnerables, todo es indignante.
☆ Creo que de lo más bonito qué hay en esta historia son las frases que, aunque se las dicen entre los protagonistas, son difíciles de creer. Igualmente hay más cosas que me disgustaron pero fue una lectura tan frustrante que mi cerebro decidió olvidarlas a este punto.
«—Julian Jacob, desde el momento en que te vi, supe que cambiarías mi vida. Sabía que eras para mí. Nunca podría imaginar mi vida sin ti en ella. Eres la otra mitad de mi alma. Eres mi mundo. Eres mi para siempre.»
☆ En esta historia corta tenemos a Mattie un chico de 19 años que se encuentra en el closet y no se atreve a contarle a sus amigos o familia que es gay. Julien es un hombre de 36 años que vive sometido bajo las amenazas, el abuso físico y psicológico de su padre, quien constantemente lo golpea por ser gay y no comportarse como un “hombre”. Por cuestiones del equipo de fútbol en el que está Mattie, contratan a un nuevo masajista y así es como comienza la historia de Julien y Mattie.
☆ El desarrollo de ambos protagonistas de manera individual me gustó mucho, vemos a Mattie superar sus miedos e inseguridades para decirle a sus papás que es gay, tiene unos padres increíbles que lo aman incondicionalmente y por supuesto que lo aceptan. A Julien también lo vemos enfrentar a su padre y no dejar que lo siga golpeando tan brutalmente, adquiere confianza en sí mismo para usar la ropa que quiera, hablar como mejor le parezca, ser libre y orgulloso. Ciertamente ambos fueron una gran de red de apoyo y motivación para el otro, la manera en que Mattie defiende y protege a Julien es muy inspirador. Es precioso ver como toda la familia acoge a Julien como un miembro más de la familia y lo aprueban para hacer una vida junto a su hijo Mattie.
☆ Desafortunadamente fueron más las cosas que no me gustaron de este libro, como el hecho de que haya una gran diferencia de edad: Julien con 36 y Mattie con solo 19; sé qué hay personas a las que no les importa pero esta reseña es acerca de lo que a MÍ me gusta, así que espero se puedan respetar las opiniones. Mattie no tiene ninguna experiencia con los chicos y sentí que Julien lo manípulo hasta que finalmente accedió a tener intimidad, pero constantemente se puede leer como Mattie está inseguro, apenado o incluso lo percibí incómodo; hay una escena en particular en donde Mattie pide que Julien se detenga pero Julien sigue tocándolo y acariciándolo hasta Mattie está lo suficientemente excitado como para seguir hablando, eso para mí no fue consentimiento y claramente Julien abusó de Mattie. Por si fuera poco, tenemos un mal manejo del tema del abuso sexual, pues nos enteramos de que Julien fue enviado, cuando era un niño, a estar con su abuelo que lo violaba constantemente con el “consentimiento” del propio padre de Julien; es nefasto ver como no hay ninguna consecuencia ni para el papá, ni para el abuelo, se les permite a ambos seguir con sus vidas para que puedan seguir abusando de otros más vulnerables, todo es indignante.
☆ Creo que de lo más bonito qué hay en esta historia son las frases que, aunque se las dicen entre los protagonistas, son difíciles de creer. Igualmente hay más cosas que me disgustaron pero fue una lectura tan frustrante que mi cerebro decidió olvidarlas a este punto.
«—Julian Jacob, desde el momento en que te vi, supe que cambiarías mi vida. Sabía que eras para mí. Nunca podría imaginar mi vida sin ti en ella. Eres la otra mitad de mi alma. Eres mi mundo. Eres mi para siempre.»
August 23, 2017
Okay. So this is the 1st novel by this author that I have read.
Sadly like some others reviewers, I DNF either. I stopped at 43%. I actually spent the period between 30ish % to 43% grimacing. There were more than a few things that really annoyed me with this book to make me close the cover early:
Firstly: Was the terrible cheesy puns used in the story: poppet, babycakes, sweetcheeks, kitten, etc sounds god awful coming from a 36 year old man. No lie. Still it was just my own annoyance and other readers might like that and well that's fine. For me however, it soured the read for me straight up.
Secondly: There was a Quarterback mentioned as a player in the football team in the first chapter, but the spelling for the book was all English spelling, not American, with prolific uses of arse, bro, mate, mum, shagging, happy chappie, buggers, wanker, and other English euphemisms predictable to English spelling countries such as Australia, New Zealand, and other Commonwealth countries not an American spelling country such as the USA. So I was really confused. Was it soccer? Football? Or American NFL, no idea because I didn't know where the book was set, not even a country, despite one player being identified as being the QB.
Thirdly: The threat by Julian's homophobic parents to send off his fourteen year old cousin to their grandfather monster molester to keep him in his current job as masseuse for the football team seemed really lame TBH and had me grinding my teeth.
Since I didn't finish the book for all I knew Julian might have been a corporate spy for his parents or something of equal importance and they really needed him there, I don't know. On face value, their response seemed way over the top for the type and importance of his job, especially since his grandfather beat and raped him when he was 12. So his parents getting bent out of shape because he didn't want to remain in a job as a back-rubber for a footy team? Yeah not likely.
There's controlling behaviour and then there's lame writing, sorry.
Fourthly: And this is a major, major pet hate of mine in books that deal with Rape and are set in the Commonwealth, which given the spelling I assumed was where this story took place. Surely a 36 yr old man who had no love for his parents, hated his grandfather, was an active member of society with sound mental capabilities, could report his own assault to the Police. If not as a child because his parents don't believe him, sure, then as an adult.
In the majority of Commonwealth countries there is no statute of limitations for reporting a rape, so right when his parents threaten to send his 14 yr old cousin to the grandfather Julian could have walked into the nearest police station and reported his own historical abuse to stop the threat on its head.
Not knowing exactly where this book was set made it so damn hard to work out whether this was an error in research by the author, (ie: not realizing what can and is legally possible and will ring true in fiction) or was something that me as the reader needed to consider as a possible unavailable recourse for a victim. Location would have helped sort that out quick smart and negated my irritation level which was skyrocketing by then.
In the end, right, wrong or otherwise, I assumed the setting was Australia, and then thought it might be New Zealand, in the end I didn't care. I just knew it wasn't America because of the spelling and slang. Wherever the hell it was though, if the author had given Julian the ability to consider other potential victim's within his own family tree and reported his assault as an adult, perhaps this would have halted any and all future threats to send children to dear old grandfather's place and stopped that branch of the weak plot line in its tracks.
If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm not a fan of this type of plot especially when it doesn’t make sense.
In fact all three parental issues displayed in this story could have been addressed in a logical manner. The physical assault on Julian as an adult at the minimum could have been addressed through proper normal reporting. I got the impression this story was not set in a one hick town hundreds of kilometres from any major city, with larger police stations. So why he couldn’t protect himself and go to the Police irritated me enough to consider throwing my reader across the room.
The alleged level of corruption inferred in the story it’s extremely unlikely to happen in Australia in this day and age, especially with so many oversight government bodies checking every little thing. New Zealand I have no idea, but I would suggest it probably is the same. England haven’t a clue, but I would again think it would be virtually impossible to corrupt every single police officer. So that inference that Julian could do nothing to prevent his continual victimisation, because his parents had money to my mind ranked of silliness, poor plot construction and lazy research rather than because he was a clichéd walking victim.
The other thing that probably was the icing on the fail cake for me was the dubious consent for the first hand job, not a massive no-no per'say, but Matthew did say no twice then gave as good as he got. Seriously make your mind up, for someone who was raped as a child, surely Julian would have been more sensitive to the potential that he was in fact doing just that himself? Then the next week, like a stalker Julian turns up at Matthew's house uninvited, and was all over him like a rash and it was clear Matthew was initially uncomfortable that Julian was in his space, and yeah that's when I shut the cover on my 2nd DNF two nights running.
Sadly, there are other readers out there who loved this story, so I fear my not liking this work of fiction is just me. Me being an overly picky reader. Which is a shame, because I love reading, and I admire the hell out of authors immensely. They are boldly brave to put their fantasies down to paper and then share them with the world, and I cheer them on.
So in saying that it annoys me enormously when what could have been a good read, goes so dreadfully pear shaped for no other reason except shoddy research, lack of background building/identifying, poor plot development, and ridiculous reasoning in adult characters. It definitely sidelined what could have been a decent read, instead it fell flat, like this train wreck.
Sadly like some others reviewers, I DNF either. I stopped at 43%. I actually spent the period between 30ish % to 43% grimacing. There were more than a few things that really annoyed me with this book to make me close the cover early:
Firstly: Was the terrible cheesy puns used in the story: poppet, babycakes, sweetcheeks, kitten, etc sounds god awful coming from a 36 year old man. No lie. Still it was just my own annoyance and other readers might like that and well that's fine. For me however, it soured the read for me straight up.
Secondly: There was a Quarterback mentioned as a player in the football team in the first chapter, but the spelling for the book was all English spelling, not American, with prolific uses of arse, bro, mate, mum, shagging, happy chappie, buggers, wanker, and other English euphemisms predictable to English spelling countries such as Australia, New Zealand, and other Commonwealth countries not an American spelling country such as the USA. So I was really confused. Was it soccer? Football? Or American NFL, no idea because I didn't know where the book was set, not even a country, despite one player being identified as being the QB.
Thirdly: The threat by Julian's homophobic parents to send off his fourteen year old cousin to their grandfather monster molester to keep him in his current job as masseuse for the football team seemed really lame TBH and had me grinding my teeth.
Since I didn't finish the book for all I knew Julian might have been a corporate spy for his parents or something of equal importance and they really needed him there, I don't know. On face value, their response seemed way over the top for the type and importance of his job, especially since his grandfather beat and raped him when he was 12. So his parents getting bent out of shape because he didn't want to remain in a job as a back-rubber for a footy team? Yeah not likely.
There's controlling behaviour and then there's lame writing, sorry.
Fourthly: And this is a major, major pet hate of mine in books that deal with Rape and are set in the Commonwealth, which given the spelling I assumed was where this story took place. Surely a 36 yr old man who had no love for his parents, hated his grandfather, was an active member of society with sound mental capabilities, could report his own assault to the Police. If not as a child because his parents don't believe him, sure, then as an adult.
In the majority of Commonwealth countries there is no statute of limitations for reporting a rape, so right when his parents threaten to send his 14 yr old cousin to the grandfather Julian could have walked into the nearest police station and reported his own historical abuse to stop the threat on its head.
Not knowing exactly where this book was set made it so damn hard to work out whether this was an error in research by the author, (ie: not realizing what can and is legally possible and will ring true in fiction) or was something that me as the reader needed to consider as a possible unavailable recourse for a victim. Location would have helped sort that out quick smart and negated my irritation level which was skyrocketing by then.
In the end, right, wrong or otherwise, I assumed the setting was Australia, and then thought it might be New Zealand, in the end I didn't care. I just knew it wasn't America because of the spelling and slang. Wherever the hell it was though, if the author had given Julian the ability to consider other potential victim's within his own family tree and reported his assault as an adult, perhaps this would have halted any and all future threats to send children to dear old grandfather's place and stopped that branch of the weak plot line in its tracks.
If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm not a fan of this type of plot especially when it doesn’t make sense.
In fact all three parental issues displayed in this story could have been addressed in a logical manner. The physical assault on Julian as an adult at the minimum could have been addressed through proper normal reporting. I got the impression this story was not set in a one hick town hundreds of kilometres from any major city, with larger police stations. So why he couldn’t protect himself and go to the Police irritated me enough to consider throwing my reader across the room.
The alleged level of corruption inferred in the story it’s extremely unlikely to happen in Australia in this day and age, especially with so many oversight government bodies checking every little thing. New Zealand I have no idea, but I would suggest it probably is the same. England haven’t a clue, but I would again think it would be virtually impossible to corrupt every single police officer. So that inference that Julian could do nothing to prevent his continual victimisation, because his parents had money to my mind ranked of silliness, poor plot construction and lazy research rather than because he was a clichéd walking victim.
The other thing that probably was the icing on the fail cake for me was the dubious consent for the first hand job, not a massive no-no per'say, but Matthew did say no twice then gave as good as he got. Seriously make your mind up, for someone who was raped as a child, surely Julian would have been more sensitive to the potential that he was in fact doing just that himself? Then the next week, like a stalker Julian turns up at Matthew's house uninvited, and was all over him like a rash and it was clear Matthew was initially uncomfortable that Julian was in his space, and yeah that's when I shut the cover on my 2nd DNF two nights running.
Sadly, there are other readers out there who loved this story, so I fear my not liking this work of fiction is just me. Me being an overly picky reader. Which is a shame, because I love reading, and I admire the hell out of authors immensely. They are boldly brave to put their fantasies down to paper and then share them with the world, and I cheer them on.
So in saying that it annoys me enormously when what could have been a good read, goes so dreadfully pear shaped for no other reason except shoddy research, lack of background building/identifying, poor plot development, and ridiculous reasoning in adult characters. It definitely sidelined what could have been a decent read, instead it fell flat, like this train wreck.
April 25, 2018
This was the flawed but enjoyable story of Matthew a self closeted footballer and Julian a tortured but funny massage therapist I would have called it a feel good story with some heavy moments until I did a little research on Lila Rose and discovered she normally writes F/M stories. I’m happy to say she didn’t write either character like they were a woman in disguise. The things that made me think were flaws are things that must have happened in other books in this series.
I must be honest, the phrase ‘my man’ was so over used I smiled whenever I read it. And the epilogue was silly. Notice how I didn’t say I was annoyed. Look I said it was a flawed m/m romance but I’m not gagging. I’m not interested in reading the series but I’m happy with what I read. Oh yeah, I could have used a lot more setting in general. Matty and Julian being Aussie boys wasn’t obvious to this reader. Again, it was flawed but it scratched my itch.
I must be honest, the phrase ‘my man’ was so over used I smiled whenever I read it. And the epilogue was silly. Notice how I didn’t say I was annoyed. Look I said it was a flawed m/m romance but I’m not gagging. I’m not interested in reading the series but I’m happy with what I read. Oh yeah, I could have used a lot more setting in general. Matty and Julian being Aussie boys wasn’t obvious to this reader. Again, it was flawed but it scratched my itch.
April 9, 2024
Thank goodness this book is so short because the father is so evil, I couldn't take it
This can definitely be read as a stand-alone, but I had no idea who anyone is at the epilogue.
It's a very cute story.
This can definitely be read as a stand-alone, but I had no idea who anyone is at the epilogue.
It's a very cute story.
November 14, 2020
I was a little lost from time to time. Some books “suggest” to read the series from the start or they state they’re stand alone. I thought I could keep up. This one is on me. Hahaha
June 30, 2020
Adorable
*squeels* I love this book. Both Mattie and Julian are full characters with personalities, flaws, character development, developing relationships with main and side characters and have developed histories. It is easy to get attached. The plot and conflict are entertaining and the entire book covers large social issues of acceptance, bullying, child abuse (physical and sexual), LGBTQ+ and bigoted people and an honest coming-out scenario.. and more.
Of course, I accidentally read one of the later books first, (rather than in order) which featured a bunch of characters I was clueless about. But from the first introduction of these two characters in Out to Freedom, I feel in love with them! Then I found out there are a bunch of books featuring the characters I was clueless on, and a whole book dedicated to Mattie and Julian.. well here I am now.
My advice to you is to read some of the other books before this one. The most important being Zara and Talons story.. Which is book 1. The other books after that don’t impact this book.
*squeels* I love this book. Both Mattie and Julian are full characters with personalities, flaws, character development, developing relationships with main and side characters and have developed histories. It is easy to get attached. The plot and conflict are entertaining and the entire book covers large social issues of acceptance, bullying, child abuse (physical and sexual), LGBTQ+ and bigoted people and an honest coming-out scenario.. and more.
Of course, I accidentally read one of the later books first, (rather than in order) which featured a bunch of characters I was clueless about. But from the first introduction of these two characters in Out to Freedom, I feel in love with them! Then I found out there are a bunch of books featuring the characters I was clueless on, and a whole book dedicated to Mattie and Julian.. well here I am now.
My advice to you is to read some of the other books before this one. The most important being Zara and Talons story.. Which is book 1. The other books after that don’t impact this book.
June 11, 2015
This book is full of wrong words and typos and the POV switches constantly between the two MCs per chapter and in chapter and then there is near constant head hopping. This is a good example of a book that needed a Professional Editor and a Professional Proofreader from a Professional Publishing house. I love to read stories set in Australia, but the setting was not taken advantage of so that was a null and void. The MCs eye color goes from Julian having green eyes to Matthew having then as well, huh? The epilogue was a total mess--introducing new characters and all kinds of weird plot angles (obviously leading the way for additional books, but did not work!). Bizarre plot twist thrown in haphazardly about Matthew's parents that was left unresolved? Whatever. Also, Julian's character felt like an appropriation of a sterotyped queen and this did not sit well with this reader. Some of the plot turns regarding Julian's family are total eye rollers.
August 11, 2015
Loved this story!!!!
I just loved this book. Mattie (19) and Julian (36) have a big age difference but as the book moved along, it was less and less noticeable. The story was basically about well, the title. Julian is out and about but Mattie isn't. Julian teaches Mattie that it's ok to be who you are even though Julian, being who he is, has caused him to be the target of unimaginable abuse ~ and you won't believe the hands that have done so. Absolutely heartbreaking ~ through it all, Julian was adorable and his phrases for random things made me laugh hysterically ~ Mattie turned out to be the more confident and take charge half of their relationship. I feel like I need to read this whole series as it incorporates my other fav genre ~ MC ~ funny how this book was caught in the middle of it all and absolutely can be read as a standalone ~ Coming Out was written beautifully with the perfect amount of everything needed to make this such an enjoyable read! Go for it!
I just loved this book. Mattie (19) and Julian (36) have a big age difference but as the book moved along, it was less and less noticeable. The story was basically about well, the title. Julian is out and about but Mattie isn't. Julian teaches Mattie that it's ok to be who you are even though Julian, being who he is, has caused him to be the target of unimaginable abuse ~ and you won't believe the hands that have done so. Absolutely heartbreaking ~ through it all, Julian was adorable and his phrases for random things made me laugh hysterically ~ Mattie turned out to be the more confident and take charge half of their relationship. I feel like I need to read this whole series as it incorporates my other fav genre ~ MC ~ funny how this book was caught in the middle of it all and absolutely can be read as a standalone ~ Coming Out was written beautifully with the perfect amount of everything needed to make this such an enjoyable read! Go for it!
October 29, 2015
Wow
I always wondered about Matti and Julians story and now I know and couldn't be happier for them. I can't wait to read more of this series. I recommend this book and the Author to anyone who love's a great funny love story.
I always wondered about Matti and Julians story and now I know and couldn't be happier for them. I can't wait to read more of this series. I recommend this book and the Author to anyone who love's a great funny love story.
June 13, 2015
So glad to get more of Julian and Mattie's background...loved it!
February 28, 2020
Me agradó mucho la historia de estos personajes, hay drama como esperaba del mundo en que se mueven, pero no demasiado, todo estuvo bien hecho, si acaso me sacó un poco que haya sido insta-love pero en lo demás tuvo un buen desarrollo.
August 7, 2018
Love Mattie and Julians amazing beautiful love story;)
May 30, 2022
Awww very cute and sweet.
Great narration from a new to me narrator
Great narration from a new to me narrator
March 22, 2017
It has been almost 2 years since I last read a book in this series....
I forgot how much I enjoyed Lila's writing and I have to say Julian is one of my favorite characters. To read his and Mattie's love story was great...and freaking hot. Even I got tingles when Mattie went all dominant, Julian didn't stand a chance. A couple of times I just wanted to reach in the book and give Julian a hug. I freaking loved Mattie's parents in this story.
I forgot how much I enjoyed Lila's writing and I have to say Julian is one of my favorite characters. To read his and Mattie's love story was great...and freaking hot. Even I got tingles when Mattie went all dominant, Julian didn't stand a chance. A couple of times I just wanted to reach in the book and give Julian a hug. I freaking loved Mattie's parents in this story.
January 17, 2018
I liked it in general, although it had a few things that didnt convince me entirely. First, I would've liked a dual narrator, because sometimes I didnt know if it was Julien or Mattie talking. Second, it was a little bit chicks-with-dicks. And third, why did both of them acted like teenagers when one was supposed to be 36? Actually, there were parts in which the 19-year-old sounded more mature.
Either way, it was a sweet story. I mostly enjoyed it.
Either way, it was a sweet story. I mostly enjoyed it.
May 27, 2015
First what I want to say is, that though I don't mind MMF, I'm not really into just MM story. Being individuals we have what we like and don't.
But in this story, there is a big 'but'. Or maybe it would be better to use another word. Julian. Our funny, extraordinary special Julian.
Julian we meet in the first book into Hawks MC series. And since then he become integral character into this ride.
So, though, like I mentioned I'm not into MM, but Julian is wicked enough, to seduce you to read his story and have some fun.
Mattie...I don't know at the beginning to feel empathy for him or be a little angry with his 'pretend play'. Maybe both? Because despite how much you say, you need to live the way your heart wishes, life not always lives by heart rules, but by intolerance, narrow-mindedness, prejudice. Which, those darker rules scared Mattie and that fear controlled his choices. Though he hated every second of his fake life. Fake him.
Next to those emotions, I felt...Well, my heart broke for Mattie, too.
☆ "I was sick of being weak." ☆
Yes, I said I was a little angry at Mattie, but I never thought him weak for hiding himself. Even from his family. Because though his heart said they would understand and still love him, but fear made him doubt his family love.
And here when he thought about, finally to come out of the closed, at least with his parents, he meets...Julian.
From the first glimpse of Julian through Mattie eyes, my heart hurt for the second time, in the short time. Why? The sadness in Julians eyes....Defeat in his voice...It was so not....Well, Julian.
Though the first meating was kinda sad, but also it made me smile, too.
☆ "Would it be ridiculous if I purred?" ☆
And than the most amazing thing happened. Julian spoke. If you meet him before, you now what I mean. Because when Julian speaking, you're smiling.
But not so much you're smiling, when you're meeting Julians parents. I was dreaming about strangling them. Then bring them to life and strangling them again. OMFG! I really wished, that I could storm there and beat both of them to the hell and back. The prick and the bitch were so...so...Argh. I don't have words to describe how pissed I was. Still I'm. I still wanna their blood. Yes, I'm that bloodthirsty. Because to say they are heartless people, is to sweet to describe them.
My eyes she'd tears and my heart really shattared for Julian.
Here I also had to add, that I adore Melissa. You will see why. And I hope she would have her chance to tell her story.
My mind is still spinning. I want so much more to tell, but not to give enough and make you thirsty for more.
Um...I loved parents reaction, when Mattie spewed "I'm gay." ROFL It was funny and so sweet. Actually all part related to Matties parents are.
☆ "He took one look at me and asked what was wrong. 'Nothing,' I snapped. 'I just suck.' Dad snorted. 'We know that now, son." ☆ ROFL
Those parents is one of the amazing persons.
Oh, I LOVE growly Mattie. All possessive and alpha and... sexy. His claim of Julian was hot and so sweet.
Did I mentioned, that I really really hated Julians parents? Like seriously loathing them?
There is a lot of things I could share more. Sad, funny moments. But I will play a villain and make you find out all heartbreaking and happy, funny good parts on your own. Just not wait for long, because Julian and Mattie will really ROCK your bed....um...world.
But in this story, there is a big 'but'. Or maybe it would be better to use another word. Julian. Our funny, extraordinary special Julian.
Julian we meet in the first book into Hawks MC series. And since then he become integral character into this ride.
So, though, like I mentioned I'm not into MM, but Julian is wicked enough, to seduce you to read his story and have some fun.
Mattie...I don't know at the beginning to feel empathy for him or be a little angry with his 'pretend play'. Maybe both? Because despite how much you say, you need to live the way your heart wishes, life not always lives by heart rules, but by intolerance, narrow-mindedness, prejudice. Which, those darker rules scared Mattie and that fear controlled his choices. Though he hated every second of his fake life. Fake him.
Next to those emotions, I felt...Well, my heart broke for Mattie, too.
☆ "I was sick of being weak." ☆
Yes, I said I was a little angry at Mattie, but I never thought him weak for hiding himself. Even from his family. Because though his heart said they would understand and still love him, but fear made him doubt his family love.
And here when he thought about, finally to come out of the closed, at least with his parents, he meets...Julian.
From the first glimpse of Julian through Mattie eyes, my heart hurt for the second time, in the short time. Why? The sadness in Julians eyes....Defeat in his voice...It was so not....Well, Julian.
Though the first meating was kinda sad, but also it made me smile, too.
☆ "Would it be ridiculous if I purred?" ☆
And than the most amazing thing happened. Julian spoke. If you meet him before, you now what I mean. Because when Julian speaking, you're smiling.
But not so much you're smiling, when you're meeting Julians parents. I was dreaming about strangling them. Then bring them to life and strangling them again. OMFG! I really wished, that I could storm there and beat both of them to the hell and back. The prick and the bitch were so...so...Argh. I don't have words to describe how pissed I was. Still I'm. I still wanna their blood. Yes, I'm that bloodthirsty. Because to say they are heartless people, is to sweet to describe them.
My eyes she'd tears and my heart really shattared for Julian.
Here I also had to add, that I adore Melissa. You will see why. And I hope she would have her chance to tell her story.
My mind is still spinning. I want so much more to tell, but not to give enough and make you thirsty for more.
Um...I loved parents reaction, when Mattie spewed "I'm gay." ROFL It was funny and so sweet. Actually all part related to Matties parents are.
☆ "He took one look at me and asked what was wrong. 'Nothing,' I snapped. 'I just suck.' Dad snorted. 'We know that now, son." ☆ ROFL
Those parents is one of the amazing persons.
Oh, I LOVE growly Mattie. All possessive and alpha and... sexy. His claim of Julian was hot and so sweet.
Did I mentioned, that I really really hated Julians parents? Like seriously loathing them?
There is a lot of things I could share more. Sad, funny moments. But I will play a villain and make you find out all heartbreaking and happy, funny good parts on your own. Just not wait for long, because Julian and Mattie will really ROCK your bed....um...world.
June 6, 2015
~*~ Obsessed by Books copy given in exchange for an honest review ~*~
"A man knows when he finds the one he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with. You feel it deep down on first sight and then that spreads throughout your body, until that feeling consumes you."
I read this as a stand alone and let me tell you I am now away to one click the entire series! This is the beginning of Mattie and Julian's love story, who are featured in the Hawks MC series. Mattie is on the football team, struggling with his sexuality feeling the pressure to fit in. He plays at being normal, being straight and is no virgin yet his experience has taught him that girls are not the orifice of choice. A new addition to the team perks Mattie up...but can he resist him or can he man up enough to come out?
Julian starts as the masseuse for the football team, a job he loathes as his Father demands he works there. The past holds many torments and left Julian with a deep rooted fear of his parents. Livng with the secret shame Julian crumples everytime his parents turn up. Teasing the footballers to try to get fired Mattie's response to him confuses things. A run in at a club opens Julian's eyes and he steps things up a gear. Julian helps Mattie embrace his sexuality and prompts him to explore it without shame.
Mattie's parents...oh my freakin days I want them! They are nurturing and supportive, with the right blend of humour and love that made me smile. The perfect balance to offset the horror of Julians parents who I wished for bad bad things. Melissa is a neighbour that you wish was yours, she's a tough cookie and has her friends back. She is insightful and helps our two lovers see what is tight in front them, past their insecurities and fears. This is a rollercoaster ride of emotion and hot damn the bedroom scenes are well written and hot! I'm not a huge reader of M/M but I cannnot find fault as this ticked all the right boxes. A well written story of encompassing fears and finding yourself, completing a whole with the perfect piece of your soul.
A 4.5 star sizzling read!
"A man knows when he finds the one he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with. You feel it deep down on first sight and then that spreads throughout your body, until that feeling consumes you."
I read this as a stand alone and let me tell you I am now away to one click the entire series! This is the beginning of Mattie and Julian's love story, who are featured in the Hawks MC series. Mattie is on the football team, struggling with his sexuality feeling the pressure to fit in. He plays at being normal, being straight and is no virgin yet his experience has taught him that girls are not the orifice of choice. A new addition to the team perks Mattie up...but can he resist him or can he man up enough to come out?
Julian starts as the masseuse for the football team, a job he loathes as his Father demands he works there. The past holds many torments and left Julian with a deep rooted fear of his parents. Livng with the secret shame Julian crumples everytime his parents turn up. Teasing the footballers to try to get fired Mattie's response to him confuses things. A run in at a club opens Julian's eyes and he steps things up a gear. Julian helps Mattie embrace his sexuality and prompts him to explore it without shame.
Mattie's parents...oh my freakin days I want them! They are nurturing and supportive, with the right blend of humour and love that made me smile. The perfect balance to offset the horror of Julians parents who I wished for bad bad things. Melissa is a neighbour that you wish was yours, she's a tough cookie and has her friends back. She is insightful and helps our two lovers see what is tight in front them, past their insecurities and fears. This is a rollercoaster ride of emotion and hot damn the bedroom scenes are well written and hot! I'm not a huge reader of M/M but I cannnot find fault as this ticked all the right boxes. A well written story of encompassing fears and finding yourself, completing a whole with the perfect piece of your soul.
A 4.5 star sizzling read!
May 31, 2015
⭐️⭐️⭐️Chloe's Review!⭐️⭐️⭐️
I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest opinion.
We first met Matthew and Julian in Book 1 of the Hawks MC Club Series “Holding Out”
Matthew is the brother of the main character Zara in book 1.
Coming Out is based on how Julian and Matthew met, how they got to be a couple.
I learnt more about the relationship between Matthew and Julian, I found their story hard to put down, I started to read it at 1am in the morning when I couldn’t sleep which is a bad idea when it comes to any Lila Rose books. I finished the book by 2:30am.
I adored these to characters. Julian is very out much the type of guy, every girl needs as a best friend. He is the perfect wing man for them.
Matthew is protective, I could see that in their story. Matthew at the start is struggling with himself but he finds himself and he becomes the best boyfriend.
Julian and Matthew suit each other. After reading this book I completely get it. They are an amazing couple and I’m glad Lila wrote their story so we could get to know the hottie’s better.
My only downfall I found with this book was, it was to story. I wanted more of their story. I needed more. Although in saying that, I would think any length of story on these two character’s would be to short.
Lila has done it again. She has written another 5 star read. Coming Out is one of my top reads of 2015.
I recommend this book for everyone who wants to lose themselves in a story for a few hours.
Do yourself a favour and fall in love with Julian and Matthew.
You won’t be disappointed.
I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest opinion.
We first met Matthew and Julian in Book 1 of the Hawks MC Club Series “Holding Out”
Matthew is the brother of the main character Zara in book 1.
Coming Out is based on how Julian and Matthew met, how they got to be a couple.
I learnt more about the relationship between Matthew and Julian, I found their story hard to put down, I started to read it at 1am in the morning when I couldn’t sleep which is a bad idea when it comes to any Lila Rose books. I finished the book by 2:30am.
I adored these to characters. Julian is very out much the type of guy, every girl needs as a best friend. He is the perfect wing man for them.
Matthew is protective, I could see that in their story. Matthew at the start is struggling with himself but he finds himself and he becomes the best boyfriend.
Julian and Matthew suit each other. After reading this book I completely get it. They are an amazing couple and I’m glad Lila wrote their story so we could get to know the hottie’s better.
My only downfall I found with this book was, it was to story. I wanted more of their story. I needed more. Although in saying that, I would think any length of story on these two character’s would be to short.
Lila has done it again. She has written another 5 star read. Coming Out is one of my top reads of 2015.
I recommend this book for everyone who wants to lose themselves in a story for a few hours.
Do yourself a favour and fall in love with Julian and Matthew.
You won’t be disappointed.
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