Oldest Daughters: What to know if you are one or have ever been bossed around by one

by Patricia Schudy

“Birth order is a fact, not a fate”.™ Author Patricia Schudy realized this while interviewing more than 100 oldest daughters, siblings, and spouses about the role of first-born daughters within a family. She repeatedly heard, “I want to know I’m not the only one out there feeling this way.” The book shares personal stories and explores the possibilities for changing birth-order “fate.” The author includes her own experiences along with the results of an online survey of several hundred random family members. At the end of each of ten conversational-style chapters contributing psychologist Dr. Kristin Russell offers self-help suggestions for personal growth and transforming sibling and family relationships. Chicago artist Ann Marie Greenberg’s book cover expresses the joy and the burdens of being an oldest daughter—willingly tethered to her family and forging her own path. "Oldest What to know if you are one or have ever been bossed around by one" provides a fresh perspective on family relationships and feminism.

Genres: Nonfiction

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 29, 2017

Reviews

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Oldest Daughters was like therapy for me. I saw my situation in the book and an explanation which really helped me tremendously. Thank you for writing it.

[Mickie Dissett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Read for Any Daughter

Both of my (younger) sisters read this book as well. We've talked it over and decided that we are all three oldest daughters. Name a characteristic you may expect an oldest daughter to have and ✅✅✅ there we are. By all rights Kathleen, my first baby, should have been spoiled--6 years younger than Ginny, 8 years younger than I--all of us convinced she was our sweet, funny, talented, smart, cute as a button miracle but no. If you met this accomplished woman you would swear she were an oldest. Ginny just retired from opening and running Missouri's best Skilled Care Center at the age of 75. We're all take charge/do whatever it takes to get the job done well/have fun doing it too kinds of people. Fun read here. Like peeking into other families lives. You don't have to be an oldest daughter to enjoy Schudy's book. Heck, you don't even have to be a daughter, guys.

[Penny Harders · Rating 3 out of 5]

My rating would have been higher had the book not been so heteronormative. The author repeatedly relies on personal accounts from heterosexual, cisgender survey participants, positioning these relationship dynamics as the default. This narrow framing limits the book’s relevance (especially is 2026!) and makes it feel exclusionary to readers whose lives and relationships fall outside that lens. Surely at least one survey participant did not identify as heterosexual?! If not, that raises serious questions about the scope and rigor of the research methodology. C’mon, this is year 10 psychology basics.

[David Crawley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well written look at how an oldest daughter affects family dynamics based upon exhaustive interviews, many of which are followed by professional analysis and interpretation. It becomes clear that the expected (or self-imposed) obligations of that positon in the family can be a curse or a blessing for that first-born female. Readers will no doubt recognize and compare some of the interrelationships described with forces at work within their own families. An enjoyable read and a lesson in family psychology. David B. Crawley, M.D. – Author of A Mile of String: A Boy's Recollection of His Midwest Childhood and Steep Turn: A Physician's Journey from Clinic to Cockpit.