قوی سیاه: دوازده گام تا شفای عاطفی و غلبه بر درد طرد با تحلیل حکایت دخترک روی صخره

by Susan Anderson, سیمین موحد (Translator)

Black Swan: The Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery is a self help tool, a supplement for personal growth. "Black Swan is a symbol for healing, a spirit guide for overcoming the woundedness of adandonment."

Twelve lessons for healing from the loss of love, presented in an allegorical tale of a child who meets a magical black swan after she is abandoned in the forest by her father. This story within a story includes the author s own experience with loss. The book provides emotional and spiritual healing to those going through heartbreak, loss, and abandonment."

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Health, Personal Growth

106 pages

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people overcome abandonment trauma and its aftermath of self sabotaging patterns. Founder of the abandonment recovery movement, she reaches out through her websites, workshops, and media to share her methods of abandonment recovery with abandonment survivors from around the world. Anderson is author of four trailblazing books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing and Taming Your Outer Child which guide people through a protocol specific to healing abandonment, heartbreak, and loss.

Reviews

[Jennifer Stewart Livingston · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is meant to trigger the emotions of abandonment & it certinly does. My therapist used this book to bring out a painful past, one chapter at a time. It was helpful & painful, I wouldn't reccomend reading this without a therapist & also a supportive family. There were times that I was so triggered, I considered leaving my own family in the overwhemling confusion of fight or flight. If you were abandoned as a child, the Black Swan is a good tool in healing therapy.

[Katelyn Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!!!

I am in the middle of a breakup, and had days where I was having panic attacks and it was hard to breathe. I knew this was a lesson in cultivating self love, but my emotions were overwhelming me, and I felt so helpless. Love led me to this entertaining and wise story, and in it, I found myself. Thank you so much to the author, what a blessing your words have been to me. I am seeing transformations happening everywhere in my life. It feels like alchemy, it feels like love. Some might call it magic.

[Mahdis]

من اين كتاب رو با ترجمه سيمين موحد از انتشارات پيكان مطالعه كردم، به نظرم ترجمه خوبي بود ولي محتوي كتاب در كل تاثير شفابخشي نداشت.. ملموس نبود. آنچه از شفاي انسان ها بيان مي كرد 12 تمرين بود كه به درد انسان مادي وابسته به دنيايي كه ميخواهد براي مدتي هرچند كوتاه دردهايش را فراموش كند مناسب نيست. احتمالا براي درك درست اتمسفر كتاب بايد زمينه خوبي از مطالعات معنوي داشت.

[Kristine · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was nothing like what I expected. It's a story that takes you through a young girl's abandonment by her family. And her conversations with a black swan - who helps her through it. I was hoping for more than sign language style exercises, like actual helpful things or maybe what an attempt at reconciliation could look like - not how to sign language your way into shutting people out of your life.

[Courtney Kleefeld · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I would definitely recommend this short book to anyone who has abandonment wounds, and to other Enneagram 4s.
Because of its abstractness, it won't be helpful for everyone, but it was very helpful for me. It reminded me a little bit of Henri Nouwen's short book The Inner Voice of Love.
I had to read it in pieces because there were places that made me emotional.

[maz maz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed my life, huge shout out to my therapist who recommended me this book!

[MJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do enjoy nonfiction self-help books. This was one recommended to me and it’s a super fast read linking abandonment trauma/issues and successfully navigating through the present. Highly recommended.

[Healing · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I'm just not into allegories.

[Penny Conlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent for dealing with abandonment issues in a way that is poignant and beautiful...through story. I'm reading again as I see the issues reappear.

[Leanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with all self help type books I’d recommend putting this down if it’s not resonating with you or helping you after 3/4 chapters. That said, reading to the end there is a clever twist (I only started to suspect a few pages before) that shines a different light on the lessons. Also the later lessons resonated with me more than some of the earlier ones, so was worth the read for me.

Slightly unusual book, but could be helpful to those going through or reflecting on abandonment, a break up or loneliness perhaps too.

[Jo Cox-Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly beautiful and powerful little book. It was one of those books that arrives in your life at the right time. I cherished it, I cried a lot and it was wonderfully healing. I'm really grateful that it made it's way into my life.

[Najma David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Through this beautiful story Susan has succeeded in making the reader realise the truth about healing from loss and recovery. It changed my perspective on healing from abandonment and how to deal with it.

[Norena McMeel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just started it. Fuck this book,for all the right reasons. (Sarcastically). Haven't even finished chapter 1 and all I do is sob.
What a beautiful and poignant,creative tool.
Recommend for those who: will walk through fire tolove themselves.

[Rasheeda Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Read!

This story completely resonated with me and the exercises are already eating some of the pain I feel. Definitely recommend!

[C Dimitri Spiliotis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful story

Not the typical self-help book; a wise story of compassion, integrity, and resilience to guide you during a time of crisis.

[Jody Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly inspiring

The words are incredibly inspiring! To see through Amanda's eyes is pure genius and redefined hope for healing to my core.

[Greg Jarmiolowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really sweet story wrapped around a path for healing from trauma

[Grizelda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book and her workbook to my patients.

[Russhelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. The story made it so easy to follow the abandonment recovery steps. I would reread chapters. It’s something that I am continuing to study even though I’m done reading it. Trying to master the steps. And the little girl makes me laugh at times and I feel her pain at other times. Excellent book.

[Alina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a fantastic allegory book. I think it is suitable for children when they experience struggle, not only abandonment but also standard feelings of fear, lack of self-worth... It may be hard for the child to interpret the depth of the story but I think its easy to pick up on the lessons.

Of course some points author makes or hints too questionable.... for example: when you lonely and show yourself self-love, warmth can you really forget the fact that you are alone, that there is no-one else there that can give you a hug at the moment of this feeling????

Lessons:
1. Find your inner core/centre, be tentative to your feelings.
2. Push away bad feelings. Do not any to disturb your inner core
3. Be in the moment. Focus on present through your senses. Be mindful at what you feeling and remember that a fear is the future, its not hear and now. It doesn't exist
4. Practice separateness from your wounder. Be comfortable of being alone. Know that you are whole yourself. Separate yourself, so you can become available for love around you
5. Be important to yourself. When you notice you compare yourself or fill empty....Feel alive, experience your existence by doing what you enjoy. The life will feel empty until you fill it with things in life that have important to you.Lift your chest a little bit and make it large inside. Fill the whole space with your name.
6. " Pain is when the future and the past overlap and squeeze out the present". Wanting & wishing want bring him back . You can accept this reality or fight it. But fighting it keeps you in the pain. Fighting keeps you powerless, filled with sadness. "Pain of loss feels helpless because it comes from the past, and the past is the place where we have no power. We can't do anything about the past, because it is already over. it no longer exists for us to control."
7. Be warm to yourself, show self-love. " love begins with your own idea (imagination, warm hand on heart) , your own warmth, and it glows right inside your sacred space. Love is something that others can give you, but when they aren't able to , you can only get it back by creating it within yourself. All you need is imagination. Close your eyes and feel the warmth from your hands. Imagine that all love of the love in the world is yours. "
10. No body is perfect and occasionally you will slip up. Continue to practice to find your centre, ,keep it safe, find a moment, accept your separateness, face reality, discover importance of being alive, treat yourself and others with love.

[Kayliegh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accurate storytelling on what it feels like to be abandoned

Highly recommend this book for anyone feeling separateness from an abandonment wound. The centering, the connection to self, and the hope for a healed and loving future that comes from the present moment feels like you’re not alone in the pain. The visualization of separateness from the wounded feels vital to healing and something I hadn’t heard of before. Months and months of waking up and feeling the devastating loss and not really thinking anyone understood, this story brought me home. Someone must have been cutting onions the entire time I was reading this story. I love the connection with the swan and the imagery the author provided, I felt as though I was the little girl on the shoreline. Beautifully done.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I pretended I was the girl on the rock and it helped me become aware of myself. I learned of this book from Anderson's The Journey From Abandonment To Healing first. Great accompaniment to the process of healing!

[Brandie Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the book was a great read but definitely not what I expected. I expected more realistic scenes versus a swan teaching healing lessons to an orphaned kid. It provides a step by step method for healing. So overall I guess the 3 stars is because it didn't meet my expectations.

[Sasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book. It deals with the emotional crippling effects of severe abandonment issues.

[Ibtisammohamad · Rating 3 out of 5]

great

[Susan Mattox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful

An interesting way to get across the ideas and tools of recovery. It helped me make sense of each step. A very easy read, but emotional.

[Brandy Galos · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent. Will be processing for a long time