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The Alphabet Books #3
C is for Cookie: a comedy
They're the cookies that bite back!...The man got on the forklift and disappeared into another section of the warehouse. He came back with a sad looking pallet of boxes, a few were soaked all the way through, dripping that red fluid onto the floor. A couple of the boxes twitched and jerked. One fell to the floor, hopping and rolling around. He rolled his eyes and dismounted the forklift in a huff. He walked over to the box and kicked it repeatedly until it stopped moving. He picked it up, the box dripping from the corner, and threw it back on the pallet, which caused a few of the other boxes to shake even more violently. He looked at Hansel. "Still fresh," he said...Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is Deliver a truckload of cookies cross-country to an old witch in the forest.They stop to pick up their load and notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.Once upon a time, in an orphanage, lived a rather ugly child. Picked on mercilessly by her peers until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale. This series does not need to be read in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
115 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 10, 2017
About the author
Marc Richard
52 books59 followersMarc Richard is an author of horror, love stories, science fiction, and literary fiction that is otherwise unclassifiable. He even authored a semi-autobiographical novel about Borderline Personality Disorder. He promises something to read for every interest. All of his novels are peppered and spiced with his dark, twisted sense of humor. Originally hailing from Rumford Maine, he calls Portland Maine his home. He has an award-winning personality, and is very handsome, according to his mother.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 23, 2017
Marc Richard has hit the sweet spot with the darkly comic, sinister cartoon like, deliciously gorey C Is For Cookie.
February 2, 2018
“You two are like boogers on a child's finger. I can't get rid of ya!"
Richard, Marc. C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups! (The Alphabet Books 3) (p. 103). Kindle Edition. Maine author Marc Richard has fourteen publications out there in the world, valiantly trying to alter the morose sense of bad mood that permeates the globe right now. He is certainly one of the funniest, wittiest, most crafty and probing parody artists writing today. He lives In Portland, Maine with his life-partner Jill and their dog and pens hysterical books that are short in length but long on laugh out loud naughty humor.
ABC: AN ALPHABET BOOK FOR GROWN-UPS! Is a take off on cherished tales we only thought we understood – until Marc offers his take on these familiar themes. A IS FOR ADAM is a naughty and pungent re-telling of the story of the creation of man (and woman), B IS FOR BEAR makes the original ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ seem boring and outdated, and C IS FOR COOKIE warps the story of Hansel and Gretel into a diatribe of very contemporary issues that usually are the content of late night television re-runs, but here Marc makes the tale bloom with high comedy. D IS FOR DWARF takes on the Snow White tale complete with the Queen, Pepperoni Prince and of course the dwarfs - Farty, Disorderly, Complimentary, Turkey, Sleazy, Juicy, and Smug. E IS FOR EYEBALL aptly described as ‘what happens when you put works of public domain into the hands of an incompetent lunatic.’ Sound a little too familiar? Despite the very obvious comparison to the DC dope, Marc makes this Poe-like tale another hilarious and very smart parody.
C IS FOR COOKIE revises the familiar tale of Hansel and Gretel and the witch who tries to bake the little ones in her oven, but this time the loving parents include a grumpy woodcarving father who is tire of supporting his children and insist they get a job – which they do as long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies across country. But of course the cookies they deliver are ‘tainted’ with humanoid elements and when one of their deliveries is to a witch with a cookie addiction, the tale takes on ‘special meaning’. Given the references to the original we suspect what is in order for Hansel and Gretel when they make a delivery to the witch – details are best to discover by reading the book for yourself.
We probably take ourselves too seriously right now – communication with IT instead of relating personally, jolted daily by the current White House antics, and lacking sufficient discretionary income to escape to places of solace (remember vacations?). Marc Richards jumps on board and changes that – at least for as long as we are flipping through the comedy of his at times ludicrous situations in parody format. Take a breath and a cold slurp of water and jump in for the ride. It is worth every minute invested.
Richard, Marc. C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups! (The Alphabet Books 3) (p. 103). Kindle Edition. Maine author Marc Richard has fourteen publications out there in the world, valiantly trying to alter the morose sense of bad mood that permeates the globe right now. He is certainly one of the funniest, wittiest, most crafty and probing parody artists writing today. He lives In Portland, Maine with his life-partner Jill and their dog and pens hysterical books that are short in length but long on laugh out loud naughty humor.
ABC: AN ALPHABET BOOK FOR GROWN-UPS! Is a take off on cherished tales we only thought we understood – until Marc offers his take on these familiar themes. A IS FOR ADAM is a naughty and pungent re-telling of the story of the creation of man (and woman), B IS FOR BEAR makes the original ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ seem boring and outdated, and C IS FOR COOKIE warps the story of Hansel and Gretel into a diatribe of very contemporary issues that usually are the content of late night television re-runs, but here Marc makes the tale bloom with high comedy. D IS FOR DWARF takes on the Snow White tale complete with the Queen, Pepperoni Prince and of course the dwarfs - Farty, Disorderly, Complimentary, Turkey, Sleazy, Juicy, and Smug. E IS FOR EYEBALL aptly described as ‘what happens when you put works of public domain into the hands of an incompetent lunatic.’ Sound a little too familiar? Despite the very obvious comparison to the DC dope, Marc makes this Poe-like tale another hilarious and very smart parody.
C IS FOR COOKIE revises the familiar tale of Hansel and Gretel and the witch who tries to bake the little ones in her oven, but this time the loving parents include a grumpy woodcarving father who is tire of supporting his children and insist they get a job – which they do as long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies across country. But of course the cookies they deliver are ‘tainted’ with humanoid elements and when one of their deliveries is to a witch with a cookie addiction, the tale takes on ‘special meaning’. Given the references to the original we suspect what is in order for Hansel and Gretel when they make a delivery to the witch – details are best to discover by reading the book for yourself.
We probably take ourselves too seriously right now – communication with IT instead of relating personally, jolted daily by the current White House antics, and lacking sufficient discretionary income to escape to places of solace (remember vacations?). Marc Richards jumps on board and changes that – at least for as long as we are flipping through the comedy of his at times ludicrous situations in parody format. Take a breath and a cold slurp of water and jump in for the ride. It is worth every minute invested.
February 6, 2018
Just like the old fashioned fairy tales!
This is a fantastic, disturbing tale of Hansel, Gretel and the cookie delivery gone awry. Like classic fairy tales of old, it's dark, twisted and bloody, while employing satire about modern culture.
Grown siblings that are still leeching off their parents are encouraged to go out on their own and find jobs. They decide to become truck drivers, with their first load being an especially undercooked, feisty batch of cookies. An older GPS system, Breadcrumbs, helps lead them to (of course) a witch with a home built of more cookies.
Cynical, twisted, yet humorous, this is a great throwback to the original dark fairy tales. I'll look for more from this author.
This is a fantastic, disturbing tale of Hansel, Gretel and the cookie delivery gone awry. Like classic fairy tales of old, it's dark, twisted and bloody, while employing satire about modern culture.
Grown siblings that are still leeching off their parents are encouraged to go out on their own and find jobs. They decide to become truck drivers, with their first load being an especially undercooked, feisty batch of cookies. An older GPS system, Breadcrumbs, helps lead them to (of course) a witch with a home built of more cookies.
Cynical, twisted, yet humorous, this is a great throwback to the original dark fairy tales. I'll look for more from this author.
June 21, 2018
Hansel and Gretel are like a lot of millennials, adult, but still living with their parents. When their father finally becomes frustrated with their stay-at-home status, he insists that they find jobs, so they become long-haul truckers. Their first job is delivering a load of cookies to a location that’s not on any maps, where they find that they’ve stumbled into a life or death situation, and the thing they have to watch out for is the cookies.
C is for Cookies by Marc Richard is a humorous take on the old fairy tale that is definitely not for children. Rib-tickling and scary all at the same time.
Another five-star alphabet-for-adults book.
C is for Cookies by Marc Richard is a humorous take on the old fairy tale that is definitely not for children. Rib-tickling and scary all at the same time.
Another five-star alphabet-for-adults book.
May 4, 2017
The latest of Marc Richard's adult ABC books, this time with the grownups' version of Hansel and Gretel, the cookie truckers. This book is very twisted in its humour, and also quite silly at the same time. Between trucker siblings, cannibal cookies, a witch that lives in an enchanted section of a national park with a Willy Wonker chocolate river, and even a Breadcrumbs GPS system, there is plenty to laugh at in this book, and many references to the original too. A great short read, well-written, and a brilliant instalment in this series. I can't wait to read what comes next!
April 21, 2018
This book is a bit gruesome, very unpredictable and very funny at the same time!
I read A is for Adam first; this one couldn't be more different, except for the humor in it.
That's just as good!
I received a free copy and this is my honest review.
I read A is for Adam first; this one couldn't be more different, except for the humor in it.
That's just as good!
I received a free copy and this is my honest review.
November 22, 2017
Creepy Fairytale!
Wowzer! This was the creepiest fairytale I have ever read. You will be wondering what that trucker is hauling in his or her truck ...baking ingredients maybe?
Wowzer! This was the creepiest fairytale I have ever read. You will be wondering what that trucker is hauling in his or her truck ...baking ingredients maybe?
February 5, 2018
Off the wall
Funny in some places not for kids.some of your morbid friends may like it but not your average person I would not give it to the witch next door.
Funny in some places not for kids.some of your morbid friends may like it but not your average person I would not give it to the witch next door.
April 16, 2018
Short and a good attempt at humor, but all in all it felt a bit stale. Not a bad book, but not my cup of tea.
April 18, 2018
Not Kindle Unlimited, actually got this as a freebie 3 pack from one of my sites and have been wanting to read these. {A is for Adam B is for Bear and C is for Cookie Hansel and Gretel, sort of but not really, truck drivers delivering sweets}
C -- “Yeah, well be careful. You know what happened to Gene Wilder.” “He turned into Johnny Depp and ruined a perfectly good movie?” she asked. “Exactly. Friggin’ Tim Burton..... I remember the story of Hansel and Gretel; didn't like it. This is not 'the' Hansel and Gretel, and it's amusing.
now available kindle unlimited {and possibly some caught it on freebie day later as I did}
An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
A is for Adam
B is for Bear
C is for Cookie
The Alphabet Books: ABC
D is for Dwarf
E is for Eyeball
{F is for Frankenstein said to be coming next}
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 1: The Invaders
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part II: D.C.
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 3: Endgame
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) PARTS 1-3
SIX OUT OF FIVE: THE MARC RICHARD BOX SET
Degrees of Separation
Harm's Way
Those Eyes
It'll End in Tears
Sorry.
C -- “Yeah, well be careful. You know what happened to Gene Wilder.” “He turned into Johnny Depp and ruined a perfectly good movie?” she asked. “Exactly. Friggin’ Tim Burton..... I remember the story of Hansel and Gretel; didn't like it. This is not 'the' Hansel and Gretel, and it's amusing.
now available kindle unlimited {and possibly some caught it on freebie day later as I did}
An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
A is for Adam
B is for Bear
C is for Cookie
The Alphabet Books: ABC
D is for Dwarf
E is for Eyeball
{F is for Frankenstein said to be coming next}
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 1: The Invaders
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part II: D.C.
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 3: Endgame
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) PARTS 1-3
SIX OUT OF FIVE: THE MARC RICHARD BOX SET
Degrees of Separation
Harm's Way
Those Eyes
It'll End in Tears
Sorry.
April 18, 2018
Not Kindle Unlimited, actually got this as a freebie 3 pack from one of my sites and have been wanting to read these. {A is for Adam B is for Bear and C is for Cookie Hansel and Gretel, sort of but not really, truck drivers delivering sweets}
C -- “Yeah, well be careful. You know what happened to Gene Wilder.” “He turned into Johnny Depp and ruined a perfectly good movie?” she asked. “Exactly. Friggin’ Tim Burton..... I remember the story of Hansel and Gretel; didn't like it. This is not 'the' Hansel and Gretel, and it's amusing.
An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
A is for Adam
B is for Bear
C is for Cookie
The Alphabet Books: ABC
D is for Dwarf
E is for Eyeball
{F is for Frankenstein said to be coming next}
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 1: The Invaders
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part II: D.C.
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 3: Endgame
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) PARTS 1-3
SIX OUT OF FIVE: THE MARC RICHARD BOX SET
Degrees of Separation
Harm's Way
Those Eyes
It'll End in Tears
Sorry.
C -- “Yeah, well be careful. You know what happened to Gene Wilder.” “He turned into Johnny Depp and ruined a perfectly good movie?” she asked. “Exactly. Friggin’ Tim Burton..... I remember the story of Hansel and Gretel; didn't like it. This is not 'the' Hansel and Gretel, and it's amusing.
An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
A is for Adam
B is for Bear
C is for Cookie
The Alphabet Books: ABC
D is for Dwarf
E is for Eyeball
{F is for Frankenstein said to be coming next}
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 1: The Invaders
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part II: D.C.
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) Part 3: Endgame
DAVE! (A Novel from the Future) PARTS 1-3
SIX OUT OF FIVE: THE MARC RICHARD BOX SET
Degrees of Separation
Harm's Way
Those Eyes
It'll End in Tears
Sorry.
April 14, 2017
"I get the feeling something isn't right."
The third of Marc Richard's alphabetical trip through rewriting old myths, legends and fairytales sees a modernisation of Hansel and Gretel. But it turns the whole story on it's head. Mr.Richards imagination takes us to a twisted world where even the cookies bite back! Great fun, though these biscuits won't be to everyone's taste.
My thanks to the author whose book brought laughter to a rather dreary day. Try it and see
The third of Marc Richard's alphabetical trip through rewriting old myths, legends and fairytales sees a modernisation of Hansel and Gretel. But it turns the whole story on it's head. Mr.Richards imagination takes us to a twisted world where even the cookies bite back! Great fun, though these biscuits won't be to everyone's taste.
My thanks to the author whose book brought laughter to a rather dreary day. Try it and see
April 20, 2017
And another one of Marcs updated fairy tales, this time taking on Hansel and Gretel. Dad is fed up having them under his feet so he kicks them out to find a job. As long distance lorry drivers, the first job they get is to deliver cookies to a mysterious place in the middle of a national park. But these cookies aren't all they seem to be.
It's a fun little book, with some lovely touches of humour. It doesn't get quite as dark as I was expecting, and it ends a little too quickly for me, but a lovely way to spend half an hour
It's a fun little book, with some lovely touches of humour. It doesn't get quite as dark as I was expecting, and it ends a little too quickly for me, but a lovely way to spend half an hour
April 30, 2017
This is the third book in Marc Richard's ABC series, and I hope it isn't the last. Marc takes well known stories and/or fairy tales and rewrites them with a wickedly twisted sense of humor. Gross, irreverent, blasphemous, and offensive are just some words that can be used to describe his stories, but hysterical would be my choice. It's as if Douglas Adams, George Carlin, and the Brothers Grimm decided to collaborate.
C is for Cookie is a retelling of the classic Hansel and Gretel story with a dark twist. You may not look at gingerbread men the same way again (at least not ones with red icing).
I can't wait to see what comes out of Marc's twisted mind next!
C is for Cookie is a retelling of the classic Hansel and Gretel story with a dark twist. You may not look at gingerbread men the same way again (at least not ones with red icing).
I can't wait to see what comes out of Marc's twisted mind next!
May 1, 2017
Hansel and Gretel but not for children, because Mr Richard has put his twisted mind to this tale and made it deliciously dark.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews