Review first published in Queerlings Magazine, issue 7
Spontaneous Combustion by David B Feinberg: a hilarious history of pandemic activism
I picked up a tattered copy of Spontaneous Combustion, David B Feinberg’s 1991 Aids novel-memoir in May last year on my first trip back to London since the Covid pandemic. For the first time in nearly three years, I strode into Gays the Word bookshop in Bloomsbury a few minutes after opening. Fighting through the mothers looking to snatch the last Heartstopper for their children, I stuck to my favoured second-hand shelves, where the lost classics of gay literature lie waiting to be found.
It’s been well over a decade now since my own HIV diagnosis, and I felt apprehensively ready to dive headlong into an Aids book, although girded with much caution as these trauma-heavy stories can often leave me feeling like a bag of used needles. As David B Feinberg might say, I approached reading this book like being cruised on a subway platform. We both know what will happen, the question is, do I want to follow this author I don’t know into the cubicle when I know we’ll never meet again?
Spontaneous Combustion turned out to be the read of my life. The novel squares its subject matter front and centre: the Aids epidemic and how a witty, urbane and utterly fabulous young Jewish man charts his way through the unfolding horrors of the late 80s. Every page is funny. There are moments of sheer joy and hilarity in the oddest of things. Having a crush on his Aids doctor. Learning past lovers have died by reading the obituaries of the New York Times. He perfectly encapsulates the nauseous reality of a straight ‘ally’ taking the test, writing obtusely about taking said test, and the inevitable negative end of the column designed to make the everyday reader feel a little bit better about themselves.
Through the unapologetically Jewish and gay character of BJ, who was also the narrator of Feinberg‘s critically acclaimed debut Eighty-Sixed, we’re given a detailed excursion into how one man stays fabulously witty as the apocalypse grinds on. Over ten years into my own diagnosis, I’ve found myself reaching back into those difficult days and drawing solace from them. We as a community experienced horrendous collective trauma, and it can’t all be shooed away in PrEP campaigns and U=U placards. We need to remember. Spontaneous Combustion leaves you with a story you will never forget.
I started the novel in mid-summer of 2022, just as we were sliding from Covid into a new epidemic: Monkeypox. There’s a passage from the book that’s worth quoting in full, because it’s quite a wonderful reminder of the cyclical nature of gay time.
“My boss was on the way out. My social life was a shambles. I hadn’t had a date since the Early Mesozoic era or the discovery of personal grooming, whichever came first… My gym membership expired… I was a thirty-year-old male homosexual living in the epicenter of the worst epidemic of the century… and I had yet to decide what I was going to do with my life if I grew up. In short, things were a mess.”
Page 63, Spontaneous Combustion, David B Feinberg, Viking, 1991
Move over Nostradamus. Feinberg lays out, in touching, hilarious detail the minutia of living through a pandemic. Aids, Covid, Monkeypox, or whatever one comes next. The lessons are universal. The lives, the fears, the worries, the impact on our community, are all broadly similar. Of course, Monkeypox precipitated no lockdowns or masking. Two pandemics, months apart, but laying the gulf of queer health inequalities brutally bare for us all to see.
In the latter half of the book, BJ turns his diagnosis into activism, just about the only way to survive among the government inaction and shrugged shoulders of society. Through his ACT UP meetings, the posters, the storming of churches, the rising up of a community being left to die by the rest of the world, Feinberg sketches out the edges of a movement which eventually, eventually, turned the tide.
He describes a thing I have never read before: how to manage AZT dosing and hooking up. So often, HIV positive people in literature and media are not allowed to love, let alone have casual sex, yet Feinberg never lets a four-hourly dosing schedule with attached alarm clock get in the way of sex and boyfriends. Without fear or judgment, just fun. God knows we kept on dating and hooking up; during Aids, during Covid, during Monkeypox. Feinberg writes the unvarnished truth. Gay life isn’t all milkshakes and video games, and we do ourselves no favours in forgetting.
I finished reading Spontaneous Combustion as I waited to receive my own Monkeypox vaccine. It was a poignant moment, to finish the novel with Feinberg’s own manifesto for a post-Aids future. One he so desperately longed for, but would not live to see.
I always wondered if, from the years and decades of Aids activism, we actually learned anything. With Monkeypox, I think we might have done. I can imagine Feinberg nodding along to the spontaneous protests and burgeoning activism led by incensed queer people. Fighting against fatigue and indifference from the public, but getting to limited vaccines within months, not years.
Clearly the circumstances are not the same, but the lesson perhaps have echoes. As Feinberg taught us, complacency is our enemy. And silence equals death. He had that badge pinned to his coat.
When Aids crops up in other, shall we say, straighter media, it can feel like a trauma slog. Yet what Feinberg achieved with Spontaneous Combustion is a miracle in itself. We laugh along with the absurdity of the situation he finds himself in. Share the indignity of learning about a former lover’s death in a national newspaper. Shriek with glee when he’s more than willing to strip naked for doctor, dentist, community nurse, or anyone that will have him.
Within the journey of Spontaneous Combustion is an activist’s handbook. An oral history of how queer society and allies came together to fight, fight, and never give up. But Feinberg’s wit and talent provide that little bit extra. Not just an outline of activism, but how to be an activist, one fully impacted by the horrendous situation he finds himself in. Yet approaching it all with wit, humour, open desire, self-awareness, and love.
As I sat in the waiting room, summer outside, gays trickling in for their appointments, I held my head high. With Feinberg in my mind and the book closed in my lap, I sashayed behind the curtain and offered my arm in a sleeveless top.
“This one will go a bit deeper,” the nurse said to me, readying the needle for the intramuscular injection.
“Oh don’t worry about that, darling, I’ve been practicing.”
Holding Spontaneous Combustion tightly, I realised the overarching lesson Feinberg taught me from this novel. Pandemics will come and go, but an amusingly inappropriate comment delivered sharply, even at the unlikeliest of moments, should, like the works of David B Feinberg, live forever in our minds.