Fall or Fly: The Strangely Hopeful Story of Foster Care and Adoption in Appalachia

by Wendy Welch

Chaos. Frustration. Compassion. Desperation. Hope. These are the five words that author Wendy Welch says best summarize the state of foster care in the coalfields of Appalachia. Her assessment is based on interviews with more than sixty social workers, parents, and children who have gone through “the system.” The riveting stories in Fall or Fly tell what foster care is like, from the inside out. In depictions of foster care and adoption, stories tend to cluster at the dark or light ends of the spectrum, rather than telling the day-to-day successes and failures of families working to create themselves. Who raises other people’s children? Why? What’s money got to do with it when the love on offer feels so real? And how does the particular setting of Appalachia—itself so frequently oversimplified or stereotyped—influence the way these questions play out? In Fall or Fly, Welch invites people bound by a code of silence to open up and to share their experiences. Less inspiration than a call to caring awareness, this pioneering work of storytelling journalism explores how love, compassion, money, and fear intermingle in what can only be described as a marketplace for our nation’s greatest asset.

Genres: Adoption, Nonfiction, Fostering

198 pages, Hardcover

Published January 8, 2018

Reviews

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really good look into the current situation in central Appalachia for the foster care system, adoption, etc. Stories come from case workers, foster parents, and adopted/fostered kids. The challenges and complexities of a "family first" system, where children may rotate through several family situations before entering the non-family foster care system, are fleshed out a little more, as is the "kinship care" laws that South Carolina also has. My favorite chapter came from the foster kids' perspective, detailing how they would test families and get kicked out.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book centers exactly where I live (literally, geographically). I recognized the places and people she covers & I learned a lot about how social workers think of foster families and the struggles the workers have in finding good safe homes. A great chapter on kinship care, which is a huge part of the culture in Appachia & most books don’t cover. If anything, this book made me more committed to fostering & changed my perspective on the entire process of adopting from foster care.

[Elizabeth Kage · Rating 2 out of 5]

The goal for this book was to inspire more families in the area to apply as foster or adoptive parents. Ms. Welch interviews social workers, former foster children, and foster parents.

As a current DCBS foster parent in Kentucky, perhaps my expectations were too high for this book. Very little of what was written resonated with me, despite being entrenched in a similar culture in a rural Kentucky county. I actually came to doubt whether "Coalton" was actually in Kentucky and not one of our neighboring states. Many of the statements about reimbursement conflicted with what we actually report and how we are reimbursed.

Also, we don't have "DSS" in Kentucky, we have the Department of Community Based Services (DCBS). Within that department is the Cabinet for Health and Family Services (CHFS), which has the responsibility for foster care through their Protection & Permanency (P&P) office. Also, she makes no mention of the Recruitment & Certification (R&C) social workers who work directly with foster parents in Kentucky.

It was also shocking to hear stories from social workers who have such a low view of resource parents. I've never met a family who is "in it for the money", yet one of the social workers in the book says 70% of us are. How do I look my children's case worker and my R&C worker in the eye next time I see them without wondering if they're harboring some kind of deep seated resentment towards us? If we hadn't met through the system, I could be friends with every one of these people.

I don't dispute that many of the negative things happen that are written about in the book, and I understand that the purpose was to ensure people came in with their eyes open. Yet, the story is incomplete without including the stories that aren't so sensational. We have had 17 foster children in our home over three years. Every single one of those children is now living in a stable home with their parents or with a relative. We have had one disruption, and that might have been avoided if we'd been better prepared or if the child had been placed in a therapeutic home from the beginning. One out of seventeen. And to be clear, all but one of these placements was a result of the opioid crisis. Even with this, we recognize that it's not "if" we have a more difficult placement in the future, but "when".

There is great joy in reuniting the children, who you love unconditionally, with their parents. There is great joy in seeing a child's relief that they are going to live permanently with a beloved grandparent or other relative. When you love someone that fiercely, you want what is best for them, and often returning to parents or family IS best. No, it's not all unicorns and rainbows, but neither is it all the cesspool of inhumanity hinted at by the author.

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hard to say I "liked" this book about a sad and sometimes seemingly hopeless situation, but it certainly increased my awareness and education on this topic (with a regional focus). Also increased my understanding, respect & empathy for social worker friends. VFOB 2018 author.

[Joy Folkens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very accurate. This is a book about fostering in the Appalachia region but only parts of it feel region specific

This book talks about why there is so little trust between workers, foster parents, and the courts. And I think it is actually on the nose and very insightful there. As a foster parent I feel like she accurately explained what I feel (about the system), figured out why I feel it, and then explained the other side's perspective as well. That blows my mind, it was like a magic trick.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book

This book is a perfect book for anyone considering fostering or adopting children through the state. It gives a real look and feel of what adoption and foster care is for the foster parents, biological parents and the children.

[Linsey Rundell · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*
100% reccomend

[Carmie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good insight into the world of foster care and adoption in Appalachia. Definitely made me want to foster more and painted a more realistic picture of what that will involve.

[Kate Belt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wendy Welch is Executive Director of the Graduate Medical Education Consortium(GMEC) in southwest Virginia, among other things. Initially asked to write a book of adoption and foster care stories from Appalachia, she didn’t think a publisher would be interested and suggested offering a blog instead. Then Ohio University Press came to her and asked for a book. This is it. The hoped for objective is to inspire more families in the area to apply as foster or adoptive parents. The need is great. The stories come from social workers, parents, and a few older children and adults who were themselves fostered or adopted Perhaps the best way to achieve this is if community groups, churches, etc., around the areas invite her to come and talk about the stories. She won’t be available immediately, as she has another commitment right now. I found the stories from DSS staff particularly enlightening. They get a lot of blame, sometimes well-deserved, for not adequately protecting children in their care. Here they explain the difficulties faced by even those who are well intentioned: There are too many children, largely due to the opioid crisis, and too few available homes. Sometimes a less desirable placement (make the kids work too hard, take their money, unaffectionate) where a child is adequately fed, sheltered, and not physically abused though emotionally neglected, is all there is. Wendy’s other professional hats include storytelling. This is a great read!