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The Wrong Box
All I know is, I’m in exile in Scotland, and there’s a dead Scouser businessman in my bath. With his toe up the tap.
Meet Simon English, commercial property lawyer, heavy drinker and Scotophobe, banished from London after being caught misbehaving with one of the young associates on the corporate desk. As if that wasn't bad enough, English finds himself acting for a spiralling money laundering racket that could put not just his career, but his life, on the line.
Enter Karen Clamp, an 18 stone, well-read wannabe couturier from the Auchendrossan sink estate, with an encyclopedic knowledge of Council misdeeds and 19th century Scottish fiction. With no one to trust but each other, this mismatched pair must work together to investigate a series of apparently unrelated frauds and discover how everything connects to the mysterious Wrong Box.
Manically funny, The Wrong Box is a chaotic story of lust, money, power and greed, and the importance of being able to sew a really good hem.
Meet Simon English, commercial property lawyer, heavy drinker and Scotophobe, banished from London after being caught misbehaving with one of the young associates on the corporate desk. As if that wasn't bad enough, English finds himself acting for a spiralling money laundering racket that could put not just his career, but his life, on the line.
Enter Karen Clamp, an 18 stone, well-read wannabe couturier from the Auchendrossan sink estate, with an encyclopedic knowledge of Council misdeeds and 19th century Scottish fiction. With no one to trust but each other, this mismatched pair must work together to investigate a series of apparently unrelated frauds and discover how everything connects to the mysterious Wrong Box.
Manically funny, The Wrong Box is a chaotic story of lust, money, power and greed, and the importance of being able to sew a really good hem.
285 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 20, 2017
1 person is currently reading
7 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
September 13, 2020
Simon English really is a horrible individual. Except he’s not. He grows on you. Karen Clamp is a joy of a woman & I’d love to know more about her!
I thought this book sounded fun. First chapter or so and I was pondering whether or not I could actually tolerate Simon enough to carry on, but I did and the book just got better and better. Thoroughly enjoyed the shenanigans. The interaction between Karen & Kevin over the listening devices, and the image of her in the wardrobe shoving them in her knickers was excellently written and perfectly timed!
I thought this book sounded fun. First chapter or so and I was pondering whether or not I could actually tolerate Simon enough to carry on, but I did and the book just got better and better. Thoroughly enjoyed the shenanigans. The interaction between Karen & Kevin over the listening devices, and the image of her in the wardrobe shoving them in her knickers was excellently written and perfectly timed!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 14, 2018
It’s a good job there’s no copyright in titles, or Andrew C Ferguson would have had to find a different one. As it is, this one has already been used by a certain Robert L Stevenson. However, I’m bound to say that this is one fabulous read.
Simon English has been sent to his company’s office in Edinburgh, on pretty much an exchange visit, after an indiscretion at work. Coincidentally his disabled brother Tom lives with their mum in Scotland. Simon is a property (the bricks and mortar type) lawyer, and tends to see everything in terms of negotiation. However, he’s not been in the city long before he ends up in trouble; specifically, having been asked to look after an associate, Jimmy Ahmed, on a tour of the night life of the city, he wakes up the next morning after a skinful and some to find Jimmy dead in the bath in his flat, with his toe stuck up the tap.
Caught between the machinations of local criminal gangs, bent policemen, and some enterprising crooks in the Edinburgh branch of his own company, he tries to work out what’s going on. His colleagues-at-arms in this endeavour are Jim Martin, a policeman who’s as straight as a die, and Karen Clamp, a social housing tenant and single parent who takes in sewing alterations to boost her benefits, and who’s been trying to get the council to rehouse her and daughter Candice for 5 years.
This is a fast-paced novel, and once I got reading it I literally couldn’t stop until I’d finished it. The story-telling is finely-balanced, with the resolution coming at just the right moment. The viewpoint characters are Simon and Karen, with the language and accents so well-reproduced that the reader is never in doubt who’s the chief story-teller at any point in the book. Yet the action is mostly shown, rather than told. It adds up to a powerful insight into both the actions and motivations of the main characters and snapshots of the supporting characters.
Published by ThunderPoint Publishing Ltd., I can thoroughly recommend this novel. It has everything: humour, a complex plot with many twists and turns, insights into the minds of a believable pair of main characters, plus thumbnail sketches of a host of would-be villains, and a contrast via speech of the two main characters. Such a good read – do check this out!
Simon English has been sent to his company’s office in Edinburgh, on pretty much an exchange visit, after an indiscretion at work. Coincidentally his disabled brother Tom lives with their mum in Scotland. Simon is a property (the bricks and mortar type) lawyer, and tends to see everything in terms of negotiation. However, he’s not been in the city long before he ends up in trouble; specifically, having been asked to look after an associate, Jimmy Ahmed, on a tour of the night life of the city, he wakes up the next morning after a skinful and some to find Jimmy dead in the bath in his flat, with his toe stuck up the tap.
Caught between the machinations of local criminal gangs, bent policemen, and some enterprising crooks in the Edinburgh branch of his own company, he tries to work out what’s going on. His colleagues-at-arms in this endeavour are Jim Martin, a policeman who’s as straight as a die, and Karen Clamp, a social housing tenant and single parent who takes in sewing alterations to boost her benefits, and who’s been trying to get the council to rehouse her and daughter Candice for 5 years.
This is a fast-paced novel, and once I got reading it I literally couldn’t stop until I’d finished it. The story-telling is finely-balanced, with the resolution coming at just the right moment. The viewpoint characters are Simon and Karen, with the language and accents so well-reproduced that the reader is never in doubt who’s the chief story-teller at any point in the book. Yet the action is mostly shown, rather than told. It adds up to a powerful insight into both the actions and motivations of the main characters and snapshots of the supporting characters.
Published by ThunderPoint Publishing Ltd., I can thoroughly recommend this novel. It has everything: humour, a complex plot with many twists and turns, insights into the minds of a believable pair of main characters, plus thumbnail sketches of a host of would-be villains, and a contrast via speech of the two main characters. Such a good read – do check this out!
February 28, 2019
The Wrong Box is the debut novel by a Fife author in his venture away from serious non fiction. It is produced by Thunderpoint, an Edinburgh based publishing company. Andrew got in touch with me himself through a mutual friend and I downloaded The Wrong Box on Kindle.
Simon English, a visiting lawyer from London, wakes up to find a dead body in the bath of the flat he's renting from a colleague. He tries to prove he is innocent and uncover the culprits as well as their motives, which are far more reaching than just one murder. Then he comes across Karen, a bored eighteen stone lady living in a council block, who is adept at uncovering corruption in the council. She becomes the most unlikely sleuth, adding mirth to the proceedings, but also saving Simon's life on at least one occasion.
The dark side of Edinburgh life was an eye opener to me, although Ian Rankin should have prepared me for it, and I was immediately struck by the contrasting societies, living side by side. I enjoyed the story line, which was quirky but gripping enough to shock and keep me 'on my toes' as it were. The characters were amusing, well formed and beautifully described, both good, evil and unexpected. Humour ran through the novel. The lapse into Karen's local dialect added to the flavour of the novel.
On the down side, and this is a personal comment, I'm not used to reading so much blatant swearing in a novel, or the inner thoughts of a man thinking about his sexual needs ~ but for some these factors could be a bonus. More realistic maybe.
(I've led a bit of a sheltered life :-) )
I wish Andrew the best of luck, especially if he makes this into a series.
Simon English, a visiting lawyer from London, wakes up to find a dead body in the bath of the flat he's renting from a colleague. He tries to prove he is innocent and uncover the culprits as well as their motives, which are far more reaching than just one murder. Then he comes across Karen, a bored eighteen stone lady living in a council block, who is adept at uncovering corruption in the council. She becomes the most unlikely sleuth, adding mirth to the proceedings, but also saving Simon's life on at least one occasion.
The dark side of Edinburgh life was an eye opener to me, although Ian Rankin should have prepared me for it, and I was immediately struck by the contrasting societies, living side by side. I enjoyed the story line, which was quirky but gripping enough to shock and keep me 'on my toes' as it were. The characters were amusing, well formed and beautifully described, both good, evil and unexpected. Humour ran through the novel. The lapse into Karen's local dialect added to the flavour of the novel.
On the down side, and this is a personal comment, I'm not used to reading so much blatant swearing in a novel, or the inner thoughts of a man thinking about his sexual needs ~ but for some these factors could be a bonus. More realistic maybe.
(I've led a bit of a sheltered life :-) )
I wish Andrew the best of luck, especially if he makes this into a series.
April 8, 2020
This is a crazy, over the top, absolutely fabulous romp of a crime book. I say crime book but it is so much more than that. The characters are shocking but I loved every crazy one of them. They are overwritten but I mean this in a good way - overwritten to perfection. The storyline is bizarre but it works and I had to keep turning the pages to find out what happens next. This is a laugh out loud book that you won’t regret buying. You will live ever word of it.
May 2, 2024
"The Wrong Box", is violent, sexually explicit, a page-turning thriller - and incredibly funny. Set in Edinburgh, it is about the links a commercial property law firm has with some of the city's most violent criminals: thugs who are involved in modern day slavery, prostitution, illegal immigration and drug pushing. And about the efforts of two people to expose those links.
One of those people is a promiscuous, heavy drinking, cocaine snorting lawyer who has been transferred from his firm's London office to Edinburgh after an incident with a young woman. Simon English is also virulently anti-Scottish, despite having Scottish roots. Simon lacks self-control and is continually being diverted by sex, drugs and booze, with both hilarious and dramatic consequences.
The other is Karen Clamp, an 18 stone single mother who is a recovering alcoholic who lives in a flat on a sink estate, where every block is named after a Walter Scott novel. She has ongoing campaigns against the city council, using Freedom of Information legislation, has an interest in conspiracy theories and is interested in 19th century Scottish fiction, particularly the work of Walter Scott and Robert Louis Stevenson (who also wrote a novel called "The Wrong Box").
Between them they attempt to expose corruption in both the police and the Edinburgh business community, in the process finding themselves in awkward and dangerous situations which require all of their ingenuity to escape from. Full of plot twists, red herrings and misunderstandings, this novel of corporate greed and excess had me both squirming and laughing out loud.
The novel opens with Simon English waking up with a massive hangover and no memory of how someone's dead body got in his bath, with a toe stuck in the tap.
If you love crime fiction and comic fiction, you will love this book. But be warned, it's not for the prudish or faint-hearted.
One of those people is a promiscuous, heavy drinking, cocaine snorting lawyer who has been transferred from his firm's London office to Edinburgh after an incident with a young woman. Simon English is also virulently anti-Scottish, despite having Scottish roots. Simon lacks self-control and is continually being diverted by sex, drugs and booze, with both hilarious and dramatic consequences.
The other is Karen Clamp, an 18 stone single mother who is a recovering alcoholic who lives in a flat on a sink estate, where every block is named after a Walter Scott novel. She has ongoing campaigns against the city council, using Freedom of Information legislation, has an interest in conspiracy theories and is interested in 19th century Scottish fiction, particularly the work of Walter Scott and Robert Louis Stevenson (who also wrote a novel called "The Wrong Box").
Between them they attempt to expose corruption in both the police and the Edinburgh business community, in the process finding themselves in awkward and dangerous situations which require all of their ingenuity to escape from. Full of plot twists, red herrings and misunderstandings, this novel of corporate greed and excess had me both squirming and laughing out loud.
The novel opens with Simon English waking up with a massive hangover and no memory of how someone's dead body got in his bath, with a toe stuck in the tap.
If you love crime fiction and comic fiction, you will love this book. But be warned, it's not for the prudish or faint-hearted.
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January 9, 2026a bit much with the swearing, but a fun read about home (Edinburgh)
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews