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251 pages, Paperback
First published August 16, 2010
Everyone claiming that "sex work is work" and that they "listen to the sex workers" until the said "worker" says something against their agenda should read this book. Ekman does a great job at explaining how the oldest form of opression became to be known as simultaneously the oldest and the most modern profession. She regards the perspectives of everyone involved in the "trade:" the pimp, the buyer, and the prostitute.
Prostitution is, in reality, very simple. It is sex between two people—between one who wants it and one who doesn’t. Since desire is absent, payment takes its place.
This single quote should be enough to convince people that prostitution is a violation of human rights, but it isn't. People want to believe that prostitution is liberating, whatever that means, and a human right in itself. It is not and will never be. Not when prostitutes are found to have more severe PTSD than war veterans. Not when there are hundreds of websites of men rating prostitutes and complaining about them being too unenthusiastic, almost as if they are only there to earn money and not to reach "the purest form of human contact."
When prostitution becomes an industry, the women have to stop acting as if they worked in an industry. Why? Because the industry demands more and more intimacy.
I like that Ekman adds johns and pimps to the equation because almost everyone else refuses to do so and acts as if these women are in prostitution because they decided to sell their bodies out of a whim and not because there is an increasing demand that also leads to increased human trafficking.
There is one fact that the story of the sex worker will never point out: prostitution is by far the deadliest situation a woman can be in. For women and girls in prostitution, the death rate is 40 times higher than the average. No group of women, regardless of career or life situation, has as high a mortality rate as prostituted women.
While Ekman acknowledges the radical feminist description of the reality of prostitution, she criticizes the staticity of the analysis:
It seems to me that when radical feminist works present the overwhelming evidence of men’s violence against women without also giving a positive model of relationships between men and women, it can instead produce hopelessness. Social positions appear frozen, unchangeable. Since the radical feminist analysis offers few models for a positive heterosexuality, the heterosexual woman is left bewildered.
On the contrary, I think that this "hopelessness" emphasizes the need for a change. When even men do not offer models for a positive heterosexuality, how and why should radical feminists do so?
Apart from being really enraging to read at times, it was overall a very informative book about the realities of prostitution and surrogacy. I hadn't felt this critically engaged with a book in a long time.
Ulla, one of the leaders of the Lyon protests in 1975, illustrated the dilemma in this way: “I truly wish to sell my body, my flesh, but not my self. And in both pleasure and pain, it is the self that trembles. It is the self that lives. And there ain’t no question that I am jeopardizing it.”
Lastly, giving up one's body to be violated is not as liberating as you think it is. Upholding the status quo of the capitalist system is not the rebellious act you think it is. Women's bodies are not products for rent or incubators. Whatever you may want to believe, the body is not separate from the self and is definitely not a commodity.