Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World

by J. Kelly Hoey

Cut through the networking noise and start building the powerful, real relationships needed to succeed in our digital world

If you think of networking as schmoozing at boring cocktail parties or scrolling through LinkedIn for new contacts to add, think again. In the social media age, you need a modern roadmap for creating and cultivating meaningful connections to stand out from the crowd and achieve any of your goals, no matter how big or small.

In Build Your Dream Network, acclaimed business columnist and networking expert J. Kelly Hoey offers a fresh new approach to mastering this timeworn skill in a world where everyone is posting, liking, and friending fast and furiously, but many are failing to leverage their connections successfully. Hoey presents innovative strategies for forming strong relationships--the genuine, mutually beneficial, long-lasting kind--using all of the social tools at your disposal. She also reveals creative and surprisingly simple ways to harness the power of your network to accomplish any ambition, from landing your dream job or a coveted account or client to successfully crowdfunding a new business venture. Build Your Dream Network will help you:

- Determine the most effective ways to connect with others so you don't clutter your calendar with dead-end coffee dates and informational interviews
- Synchronize IRL networking efforts with your digital outreach
- Turn "closed door" conversations into strong personal relationships and business opportunities
- Eliminate FOMO by keeping your networking efforts focused

Packed with infographics, flowcharts, and encouraging advice, Build Your Dream Network shows how small adjustments in your daily routine, generosity, and goal-focused efforts are all it takes to set you apart and ignite the powerful connections that will lead to major opportunities for success.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Entrepreneurship, Professional Development, Personal Development, Communication

256 pages, Paperback

Published January 2, 2018

About the author

Design the career you're destined to have around the relationships you're building today

Networking Expert + Career Transformation Coach + Author + Speaker

I'm the author of Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Connections In A Hyper-Connected World (Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House). I look at "networking" through a new, modern, fresh lens, offering you, who are pursuing and perhaps struggling with your big ambitions, advice on how to connect for success in our hyper-connected world that is woefully short in its attention span. My network-building advice is relatable, instilling confidence with actionable insights and practical information.

To nab my #networking know-how as part of your next event, contact:

Alysyn Reinhardt (she/her)
Speakers Bureau Senior Agent
Penguin Random House Speakers Bureau
areinhardt@penguinrandomhouse.com
(212) 366-2499
.

Reviews

[Ria · Rating 2 out of 5]

mostly fluff. had some good points but nothing groundbreaking. I was hoping for some actual practical tips on reaching out to people tactfully, how to steer a conversation without being selfish, ways to stay in touch without being obnoxious, that sort of thing. but the whole thing was just interviews with people who had succeeded through their networks. like, I already know it works, that's why I'm reading. no practical tips at all other than "plan ahead". gee thanks?

[Jessi Anello · Rating 2 out of 5]

I saw Kelly speak in person and really liked her, but was very disappointed by the book. It can essentially be summed up in four main points: use twitter professionally like she does, don't randomly request people on LinkedIn, offer value before you make a request of somebody, and build a network before you need it. Could have easily been a 20 min podcast instead of a full book.

[Catalina Cdvd · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just graduated law school and everyone tells you to network, have informational interviews, and to ask questions. This book reshapes your perception of networking as something we're all doing anyway (social media for example), and that by doing it consistently and courteously in the areas of our genuine professional interests we can advance our careers. Loved the perspective and the specific pointers in this book (contrast to vague law school career services advice).

[Karina · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an introvert at heart, "networking" has always been something I struggled with and have had to do more of than I'd ideally like. J. Kelly Hoey, in her book Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World teaches the smart and targeted way to do this—even if you're an introvert and especially in today's world.

So networking is not about exchanging business cards or asking people to help you get a job. And it definitely should not be done only when you need help but always, to build relationships that last and to benefit both sides. And networking is everything you do, from the social media you participate in to how you respond to your email to which groups you choose to participate in.

Even if you think you're a good networker, Kelly and the many expert networkers she interviewed will share tips to further improve your networking game...and for the rest of us, this is a must read.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a way to start off a Monday morning, finishing Build Your Dream Network!! This book is full of practical advice. I'll share just a few of the reasons why. In this book Kelly shares an example of attending a conference in Beiruit. She was questioned as to why she would make that long journey. She describes the why for that and shares the strategy behind the connection and opportunity, and how to be specific about the way you spend your time, looking towards the future.

Another key takeaway? The strategy behind how to "walk into a room of strangers" and instead shaping that by finding out who else will be at events. This way, I can study up on them, research and even potentially reach out ahead of time to make our "stranger-ness" at the event a bit more warm. Loved this part of the book.

"Sharing information generously with your network may not have the same world-changing results; however, chances are you can achieve something more powerful by connecting with others."

"Different problems and goals need the brainpower of different connections. Avoid continuously seeking answers from the same core group of people."

This is a MUST read for all business owners, leaders and community builders!



While we all like to be recognized for our actions and chosen for leadership positions, waiting to be acknowledged or selected has no place when it comes to reaching for your goals. Once you know what you’re capable of and want to achieve, it’s essential to proactively take control by sharing that information across the right networking channels and into targeted communities. [amen]



My biggest takeaway and what will end up on a post-it note on my computer screen:

"Connected people use their relationship capital generously to help people they know and trust. Trust remains the critical piece of all successful networking efforts. Tap, swipe, and try as they might, apps, algorithms, and smart technology cannot seem to establish or disrupt the essential networking foundation of trust."

Thank you for putting this book out into the world!! Can't wait to share it with those I come in contact with, and revisit it in the future as well!

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Networking is essential in today's hyperconnected world. The author explained very clearly how to do it. 1. No random networking but meticulously planned goal-oriented networking. No going in without a plan. Learn to do things that help achieve a goal. She had shown many powerful examples of the power of networking with the right people. I'm very impressed by all the examples and interviews in this book.

[Vinod Narayan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished reading Kelly Hoey’s book ‘Build Your Dream Network’. When I was on page 162 I wanted to give a try to what she was saying in her book. I went on Twitter and looked at one of her tweets and replied to it “Reading Your Book on Page 162 as of yesterday, will soon have a review” and she replied back.

There are ways to connect with people. Though the initial intention of my reply was to just test, not Kelly, but what she was writing I was sincere in my tweet. I read substantially, but not always do I go and tweet a reply.

BYDN does not ask you to only follow the Digital foot prints. It tells you how important both the Digital and the Traditional forms of networking are and how they complement each other. There are a few key call outs in the book that is explained well. The need to have a goal in mind and have a plan of action, and then connect and network with the people who will help you reach the goal. Kelly is sure to mention that don’t do it for the sake of doing it; be sincere and helping rather than just using the connection to further your voice.

I believe that when you listen to others, then they hear your voice with more clarity. You can only listen if you really care. I have to confess here that I am not a great listener and I need to work on it. May be using some of Kelly’s tips will help me be a better listener.

She goes on to tell how important is to remain connected and be crisp and clear on any ask you have for your network. I don’t want to give away much of the book, but get it and read it.

The book gave me some new insights into career and business prospecting that I think is very effective. The world out there needs our help and they are ready to help back. But it can happen only if you are connected and networked in the right way. And do that without discounting the importance of Real life connections.

My message and phone is always open for people who need a help, but I have not been that great at asking help, or I should say effective in and Kelly has some interesting thoughts in her book in that direction.

Nothing is perfect, Nothing should be perfect, that’s always been my motto and so I have a small suggestion. There are several infographics in the book. I am not sure if it is me, but I found it difficult to go over it and understand them well. May be I am used to power points more and when I see an image I get stuck on it till I understand it completely and am uncomfortable if I don’t. If there was a worksheet at the end of it, It could have added more value. But that’s just me.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an instructional book for both creating and developing your professional network and for utilizing it to accomplish your goals. I took about a two-month break during the reading of this but I gleaned the overall gist: you have to figure out what goal you want to accomplish, decide on which network can help you reach that goal, and then pick which tactics to employ to get there.

Hoey of course goes into much greater detail when explaining each facet of the equation, using her own impressive narrative and those of multiple guests to portray examples of how her advice has worked. The format gets slightly repetitive at times, especially early on, as each new instruction is supported by another person's example (it can almost seem like Hoey got all these people to basically help her write the book) but the lessons to be learned are useful and informative regardless.

The basic tenets of her advice include: you are always working on your network; contact and stay in touch with people long before you need them; don't be afraid to try to connect with powerful, accomplished people - but be damn sure you have something succinct to ask or say; and be consistent in your outreach. Of course the text goes into more depth and more issue are covered, but this is what I came away with.

I think the book is most valuable to those readers who already have somewhat of a professional network and are looking to either move up in their field or to move to a new field. Hoey also makes good use of social media and digital correspondence in her network so the reader should be prepared for that, too. Be prepared to read this with a pen for notes or a highlighter. You can definitely pick it up, read parts, and come back to it later when you need to.

Good overall info for professionals.

[Jon-Michael Jerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

While many books are geared towards those who are looking to make immediate gains or become an overnight success, Kelly Hoey very quickly demonstrates how this is not the correct approach for meaningful, mutually beneficial networking. Her step-by-step process to grow your network shows how to start with your immediate network, no matter how sparse it may be, and to grow it by providing value to others along the way.

The Q&A with a select group of Hoey's networking stars throughout the book makes this a fun read and offers valuable insights from different perspectives and how each person overcame obstacles as they arose.

Hoey provides a great deal of valuable information regarding the use of social networking sites and apps, yet drives home the need for a more personal interaction IRL and tips on how to stay "top-of-mind" when new opportunities arise within your network.

I am quick to dog ear pages I find to have valuable information or topics that deserve a second "deeper dive" upon completion and this book does not disappoint. I have to laugh as I look at the pages that have both the top and bottom corners dog-eared.

This book is well worth the investment and is a must for anyone, who is just starting their networking quest, like me, or looking to strengthen their existing network ties.

[Maxie Mccoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hoey's advice is the ultimate perspective on Networking, one that will make you rethink everything you know about connections. Everyone is asking and wondering how to find the next major opportunities and this book lays it out with a smart and fresh framework for building a network that will ultimately build your dreams.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up while job hunting. At times, it felt unrelatable ("...and then I contacted my network in Aruba..." What? Not relevant to my life.), but at other times, I highlighted whole sections for later reference because the advice was good.

I do wish these kinds of advice books would give more examples of "normal" people demonstrating the principles, rather than themselves or household names. The success of household names is not something I can replicate, nor do I really aspire to. I want to know how folks with 9-to-5 jobs can ask their middle-class network useful questions that can help with the next steps in their careers. Even if the principles are the same, the examples wouldn't feel totally irrelevant (and therefore a slog to get through).

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

For anyone wanting to better leverage the power of networking, this is a must-read. Using real world examples and her own experience, Kelly shows you how to laser-focus on your goals and build and feed your networks around them.

[Deepa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World is the networking book written for introverts. Being one all through my life, I have always struggled to connect with people. This book gives an excellent insight into how to do targeted networking while not getting overwhelmed by the process. It guides the readers on how to develop and sustain a meaningful professional relationship. A must-read if you are looking for means to forge significant connections to help you achieve your professional goals.

[Stephanie Thoma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hoey writes about networking in a no-nonsense, VC/startup-centric sort of way. She relays some valuable insights learned in her decades of experience perfecting the art of authentic networking and claiming the title that her colleagues had previously referred to her as in conversation. While our lines of thought and respective books on the topic have some differences of opinion or complementary perspectives, the core of what she stands for with this book is to be courteous, kind and people-centric in networking which we can all certainly get behind!

Some key takeaways:
- Join high-powered networking groups like Ellevate (formerly 85 broads) to open otherwise hard-to-find doors
- "Introvert like an introvert" is a key piece of advice she suggests due to the thoughtful and thorough nature we have- Hoey self-identifies as an ambivert
- Always scan a person's social media before meeting to avoid asking basic questions.
- Keep your social media updated so the above tip works!
- ALWAYS get a double opt-in for introductions
- She believes that online and offline networking is equally effective and necessary
- Some networking connections aren't meant to last forever or end in friendship- know the difference

[3mmar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting topic !

I live in Saudi. I thought most of the examples or cases would not apply to me. well, I was wrong Networking turns out is all about people, persistence and planning. Whatever the situation is.

Summary:

The book starts with a kind of paradigm shift, networking is not handing over business cards it is more of building lasting relationships and be polite in the process. Also, the author emphasizes through cases and examples that to expand your network is a process just like farming it will take TIME. maybe even years, but it has to be purposeful and direct. Random acts of networking will get you no where and deplete your social energy. So how to network effectively ?
the answer the book provides is a mix of what is your goal (job, career change, running a polt. campaign, etc) + who can help you THEN turn for networking tactics and strategy. She goes on to explain the different networking venues (work, clubs, committees, communication behaviors). The real meat of the book is in the last chapters when she puts out her experience in the networking tactics. examples from chapter 5 (how to use twitter to connect to ppl offline), how to connect via linkedin, how to build a solid network for a job you want (vry interesting).
In ch6, she takes us on a very practical journey on how to leverage your network to achieve your goals. it is a process much like strategic planning starting with assessing one skills and goals and then looking into the current network and ways to expand or utilise, and communicate in a better way. Finally, she tackles the big no-noes for networking and why it should be avoided with some useful stories.
Overall the book gets more interesting as you read through the chapters, I would say in terms of literature it is less eloquent than other books. It feels dry at the beginning although there are Q&As with lots of "supernetworkers." I would suggest that you be patient and read it all through and you will definitely be a smarter person after finishing it.

[Frieda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful information and advice, although sometimes repetitive. Perhaps it is the author's way of "hammering" important strategies in the reader's mind. Also, a quick read.

Key Takeaways:
-Networking is connecting through sharing stories and experiences. It's all human connection (offline and online), collaboration and crowdsourcing.

-Skills alone won't bring you success. It is really about "who knows what you know". So broadcast insightful information about your industry, the industry that you may want to break into, and research like-minded individuals that you can create a real connection with.

-It is all about generosity - what value can you bring to someone else?

-Random networking won't help you meet your goals.

-It is about being genuine - follow up with your connections regularly. Check in to see how they are doing, share an article that they might be interested in.

-Networking is everywhere.

-Must be strategic to how you network - what is the purpose? What is your goal? Don't waste people's time.

-Your online presence needs to work in unison with your offline ambitions.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Networking. Not easy for anyone - introverts, extroverts, ambiverts. But what I really like about Ms. Hoey's book is her PRACTICAL advice - not theoretical, but advice you can use tomorrow. Networking isn't about going to one event and giving out cards. It's about consistency and follow-through. Some usable, practical tips I found super helpful:
-Give first. Offer your help and offer it frequently. Ms. Hoey suggest sending out a regular email to your network asking, "how can I help?"
-When you ask for help, be super specific in your ask. Instead of saying to someone, "I want to build my network", say, "I want to meet people that are V.P.s of operations at companies with 50 employees or more". The more specific the ask, the easier it is for your network to help.
-Plan ahead. Look at who's going to an event before the event and do your research.

So many other helpful gems in this book. Add it to your list.

[Brian Cluster · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author, J. Kelly Hoey, provides an updated perspective on networking in a hyper-connected world. She shares her stories and brings in her colleague's stories about how to network in this digital, hyper-speed world. Networking has to be intentional and have a win-win in mind when connecting and spending time with others.

I love this quote that she shares at the end of the book: "Curiosity and inquiry are the only skills that will not be obsolete in 5 years"

If you are looking to be better at networking or build a better and more valuable network for the long- haul, I would recommend this book.

[Nora Siggins · Rating 3 out of 5]

J. Kelly Hoey details helpful tips for aligning your network efforts to your career goals. She uses real life experiences to show how to network both online and IRL. I’m not in the same industry as the industries she includes but there is still tons of inspiration and skills that translate to my profession.

[Joanne Adams · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book about developing a network but not for me right now. This book was recommended but I can’t remember who recommended it. Well written and like the style of writing.

[Aileen Luib · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelly was a speaker for one of the media accelerator groups I was a part of, and I thoroughly enjoyed all the knowledge she had to share on networking. Picking up a copy of her book was a further extension of the social theories she elaborated on within our program.

I have always been fascinated by the idea of "plugging in" with another like-minded individual and working together on a collaborative basis. To me, it felt organic and in-alignment to work with people who share similar visions, but I always felt weird speaking about this too enthusiastically as some people who truly don't understand the value and power of networking can see it as "opportunistic, self-serving behavior" in which people use people for personal gain.

That said, if you're the type of person whose skin crawls when you hear the word "networking," then this book is for you.

If you think that networking is simply showing up to an event with the intention to pass out 50 business cards and then leaving, you may need a huge reframe, and "Build Your Dream Network" is a great pivotal foot in the right direction. I have had so much success adopting Kelly’s methodologies in my own career over the past decade and can genuinely say it has attributed to my career moving forward in the direction I want it to go. There is power behind having an expansive social network where people truly enjoy your company, your viewpoints, your personality, and those people have the ability to either open doors for you, serve as a springboard for a venture, or at the least, point you in the right direction by giving you an intro to the right person who can help you.

If you're looking at people with the immediate intention of "what can I gain from this person?", you're doing it wrong. Networking is simply creating authentic connections with the people around you, you're just focusing on connecting with people in the same line of work or have shared goals. Kelly does a great job at unpacking a lot of the faulty stereotypes of networking, provides a strategy for how to leverage social connections to further your career and/or dreams, as well as social faux pas to avoid when trying to connect with others who can help you with your goals.

If you assume that you don't need to network for your career, idea, or company, you're gravely misinformed. No matter what industry you're in, you're in "the industry of people" in one way or another. This book is a great roadmap to navigating the social environment of the world in a way where you can get exactly where you want to be.

[Meeynz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I truly wish I had discovered "Build Your Dream Network" during my senior year of high school or freshman year of college. It’s a pivotal book that highlights the power of connection—an essential skill for navigating adulthood and any career.

This book took me a little over two years to complete, and for good reason—it’s packed with an endless field of useful information. Hoey shares valuable anecdotes alongside insights from other prominent professionals, making it both engaging and eye-opening.

Initially, I was looking for a cookie-cutter networking guide—conversation templates, a do’s and don’ts list, and a simple checklist. But I walked away with WAY more than I expected. This book completely shattered my expectations, teaching me that networking isn’t about rigid scripts, attending endless events, or just asking for things—it’s about people.

Hoey explores the different tiers and methods of building connections and community, showing that networking is never one-size-fits-all. As a visual learner, I especially appreciated the graphics, which helped me see how networking truly works. There were moments I had to pause because the book called me out on mistakes I’ve made��but it didn’t just point them out; it provided solutions and ways to recover.

This book has strengthened my social skills, helped me make more intentional decisions about where I invest my energy, and given me better control over my time. Beyond that, it has sparked conversations and unexpected connections I’m incredibly grateful for.

You should definitely read this book!

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

First thoughts: I really like the graphics. (I sort of have a thing for flow charts.) I would also like to make a note that I don’t actually use the social media outlets that the writer highlights in this book. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t get valuable information from it that I can apply to my preferred media outlets. I do see myself referring back to this book as my goals and desires evolve.Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected WorldBuild Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World

The author references Rachel Hofstetter’s concept of finding “give, give, get” people, which totally reminds me of Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook by Gary Vee.

She then goes on to discuss how you have to talk to people in their preferred method of communication, which totally makes sense. That part reminded me of The 5 Love Languages. It’s all about finding ways to reach people.

I took a bunch of notes, and highlighted some interesting pieces that I want to look into further. I tabbed the page that has the goal worksheet. (It’s on page 194.) That seems like it will be useful later.

The main takeaway that I got though, in order to achieve my goals in life, I need to get my online presence in order.

Full Disclosure: I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway, but the review is all my own.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever wondered how to network online? The answers are in this book! Loved the flowcharts to support the recommended simplified process to achieve goal centered networking in an enjoyable way. Great interviews and stories of people who have done it. This is the type of book you will keep at hand, scribble in and refer back to over time. Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected WorldJ. Kelly HoeyJ. Kelly Hoey

[Valerie K. Flynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an encouraging read. Lots of stuff I sorta knew, and some I didn't know. It's a few years old so some of the tech social media mentioned is slightly out of date now. But a lot of the principles are still true. She writes from a feminine perspective.

I don't think she's aware of the difference in communication styles between men and women. Men communication style tends to be more goal oriented, while women tend to talk to bond. She has a lot of wisdom and knowledge to share for both genders to glean from.

It was good to read, comprehensive but not dull reading. Some stuff she touched on, some she went more in depth on. I'm glad I bought the book. Will skim through this again.

Good read and helpful directions to figure out your path forward.

[Luis Camejo · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It’s not what you know…it’s who you know THAT KNOWS WHAT YOU DO!”

We often fall in the loop of networking for the sake of networking. Because you have heard you need to network.

Add to that the all the different digital stages and the feeling of being in motion without achieving any results, and you quickly become overwhelmed with the ida of networking.

This book offers great advice on how you look at networking. How you can develop a strong network regardless of your goals or personality.

This book could help you open the doors to the relationships that could help you throughout your path.

Totally recommend!

[Ari · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extroverts will like this book

Whilst the book recognizes that introverts exist, much of the content is really for extroverts which is reflected in the key phrase being People, People, People. There is a good section on crowdfunding and and some emphasis on Twitter as a networking platform. However not enough focus on how introverts should handle networking in general as not everyone is an entrepreneur.

[Lisa Mayer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelly Hoey’s book is a must read! I have suggested it to professionals ranging from college students and recent grads to c-suite execs and they’ve all loved it. Her book has practical tips and strategies that are extremely valuable, she is a true connector and a master at networking and building authentic relationships in business! I would pick this book up as soon as you can, follow her on social and check out her podcast too.

[Stacey Champagne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book compliments of Capital One at the Women In Tech Summit in 2017. Kelly Hoey's advice is spot on and as someone who self-identifies as an intermediate-skilled networker, I was able to gain some advanced tips and tricks from this reading. Highly recommend it to anyone who is looking to advance in their field.

[Philippa Lockwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid networking book, exactly as advertised. The second half felt more useful/ applicable as it focused more on digital networking than in-person events. Reading it on a kindle was less fun than reading it as a hardcopy especially as the cute doodles were hard to read. Overall: Decent book if networking is your weakness.