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We Were Promised Spotlights

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The Miseducation of Cameron Post meets Everything Leads to You in this queer young adult novel.

Taylor Garland's good looks have earned her the admiration of everyone in her small town. She's homecoming queen, the life of every party, and she's on every boy's most-wanted list.

People think Taylor is living the dream, and assume she'll stay in town and have kids with the homecoming king--maybe even be a dental hygienist if she's super ambitious. But Taylor is actually desperate to leave home, and she hates the smell of dentists' offices. Also? She's completely in love with her best friend, Susan.

Senior year is almost over, and everything seems perfect. Now Taylor just has to figure out how to throw it all away.

Lindsay Sproul's debut is full of compelling introspection and painfully honest commentary on what it's like to be harnessed to a destiny you never wanted.

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 24, 2020

43 people are currently reading
6556 people want to read

About the author

Lindsay Sproul

3 books109 followers
Lindsay Sproul, originally from Marshfield, Massachusetts, is currently an assistant professor of creative writing and queer literature at Loyola University New Orleans. She holds an MFA from Columbia University and a PhD from Florida State University, and has received fellowships from Virginia Center for the Creative Arts and MacDowell. Her fiction has appeared in Glimmer Train, Epoch, Witness, The Massachusetts Review and other publications. She lives in New Orleans, Louisiana and serves as the editor-in-chief of the New Orleans Review.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 271 reviews
Profile Image for Iris.
330 reviews336 followers
August 12, 2019
Absolutely gay trash. It’s so cool to see how far YA has come since I was reading regularly. There was good discussions of sexuality, and then there was drinking and sex and STIs and cliques and everything you want in a highschool drama. Just wait till the prom scene and watch our girl go full disaster gay. Anyways, it was quick and fun, and honestly kinda felt like another character in Euphoria ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Profile Image for J T.
6 reviews
July 30, 2019
I LOVED THIS BOOK.

Too many LGBTQ books come from the point of view from an outcast, trying to fit into a heteronormative world. Taylor Garland is anything but an outcast. She’s popular, she’s pretty, and it’s an open secret that her father is probably a famous movie star.

On the surface Taylor is the hot bitch in high school. She’s THAT girl. However, the book is from her POV. And that is refreshing. She’s neurotic, deals with internalized homophobia, and Is completely uncomfortable in her own body.

By the end of the novel, I felt I understood Taylor and found her to be funny—but more importantly—searingly real as a 17 year old trying to negotiate an unknown future in the year 2000.

***I read an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Shelly D.
17 reviews
August 19, 2019
OMG THIS BOOK!!!!! 😂😂😂

I’ve been looking for a narrator like Taylor for such a long time.

Though I wouldn’t call it a comedy by any means, this book and Taylor as a narrator both have biting humor, even in the face of difficult issues like homophobia, sexism, and the pressure put on girls and women about their bodies. Taylor is unlikable at first, but she’s so weird and insecure that ultimately I loved her. For once, the “popular bitch” is multidimensional. This barely happens in straight romances, never mind in LGBTQ+ books. Her voice is the biggest strength of the novel. She is anything but flat.

If you’re looking for a book that’s heavily plot-driven, this isn’t for you. If you like quiet but incredibly real character-driven narratives, read this immediately. The dialogue is hilarious and spot-on, and every character (with the exception of Scottie...) has their own arc. The ending felt both surprising and inevitable.

Often, class isn’t discussed enough. This book explores an economically depressed town in such quiet but important way. Taylor, though it may not seem like it to an outsider, is up against so much... and she manages to make even herpes funny.

As a queer reader, I’m so excited to have found this story!!!!!
Profile Image for Mira Ptacin.
Author 6 books137 followers
August 20, 2019
I love every single thing Lindsay Sproul writes. In my opinion, she's the reincarnation of a modern-day Carson McCullers and I am thrilled that she will have more books coming out after this one. I love every sentence, and how strong and beautiful and rare her work is. Hooray for this book. I'm a superfan.
Profile Image for charlotte,.
3,044 reviews1,061 followers
December 3, 2019
On my blog.

Rep: lesbian mc, lesbian & bi side characters

CWs: homophobia, fatphobia (uncontested), lesbophobic slurs, child abuse, outing

Sometimes writing reviews of books you hated is easy. Other times, it’s like pulling teeth because you absolutely do not want to relive the book in any way, shape, or form. This book falls squarely into the latter camp.

I’m not quite sure where to start with this book. It’s about a closeted lesbian teen in a small town in America in the 90s. It doesn’t immediately feel like the 90s though – it took me a moment to get that, and I’m still not entirely certain what exactly about the setting was supposed to clue me in (until a date inevitably got mentioned). Anyway, this girl, Taylor, is one of the most popular girls in school. She is also a complete and utter bitch. Think Mean Girls when Regina George is writing in the burn book and parodying herself/Cady. It’s like that, but not a parody, and for the whole. damn. book.

But it’s okay! She’s closeted! She has to protect herself from being considered a lesbian!

Okay, so that’s kind of kidding. But simultaneously not kidding enough. I cannot stress just how little time I have for characters who are horrible, don’t apologise for being horrible, and then have some bullshit excuse for it. Being closeted is not an excuse for being awful. And this book completely fails to make such a judgement on that. She just continues being awful and people continue shrugging it off. And she doesn’t improve at all in the book.

One clear example of this is when she outs another lesbian. What she does is trick her into trying to kiss her, have a photo taken, and then spread that photo around the school. Around her incredibly homophobic school. Like it’s nothing. And then she never apologises for it. But somehow this character becomes something like a friend to her, and also is so incredibly chill about it all. So incredibly accepting that this has happened to her. Another thing that’s just shrugged off. Taylor describes it as choosing to destroy this character’s life, but it’s okay! It’s character building!

(Also, side note, but I didn’t realise I’d stored up that much more rage since finishing this book, oops.)

On top of all this, there are so many slurs in this book. It’s like no character can mention a lesbian character without slotting in a slur to do it. Including the main character. And, I don’t know about you, but I find that so tiring. Like, if I’m supposed to at all like any of these people, don’t have them saying this shit. It’s that simple. As it was, I just ended up hating everyone. (Another side note, they’re all also cheating on each other, so any like I had for any of them definitely plummeted after that little revelation. Definitely lost track of who cheated on who at one point too.)

So they’re all horrible, there’s a whole vibe of the main character is somehow “oppressed” because she’s pretty and popular, and then there are quotes like this:

“She’s not gay,” said Corvis. “She’s fat.” “So?” “So she thinks she can’t have a boyfriend because of it.”


I don’t regret reading a whole lot of books, but this would be one of them.
1 review1 follower
August 30, 2019
I wish I'd had this book when I was a teen navigating all the cliques at school at the same time I was coming to terms with being queer. My high school career occurred around the same time (1999/2000), so We Were Promised Spotlights was particularly relatable for me.

Taylor is a product of her surroundings, her upbringing, her class, and for the majority of the book, she's only doing what she knows, what she's been taught. Being a mean popular girl is the only way she knows how to survive. In a small town where homosexuality isn't exactly a sin but is still a facet of personhood to be absolutely detested, Taylor knows how to get by without getting hurt.

But the problem is she’s always hurting, privately, deep down—because she’s hiding herself away, letting the outside world control her. She begins, slowly, to unravel, which in another story might be a bad thing; here, it’s the best thing that could happen to Taylor and what makes this a successful coming of age story.

I'm concerned by other reviews that detest the homophobia, fat shaming, etc. in the novel; that is real life. If you can't handle it in a fictional story, how do you understand queer life for young adults in the real world? This is the reality for so many kids—twenty years ago and now. Without the homophobia and fat-shaming, this book would be a sham. I know it because I encountered it in junior high and high school directly. It was a painfully realistic read.

The writing itself is really lovely, as is the character development. I cherished Taylor’s inner weirdo, her adventurous spirit, her empathy (unexpected from a mean girl, but this girl’s got layers)… She’s complicated. She isn’t just a popular bitch, and she knows that. And it’s terrifying to her. Reading something like this when I was a kid would have opened my eyes to the fact that the cool kids had their own problems—that their lives weren’t always easy either, that they had to live by a code that they may not have agreed with but felt obligated to…

I could go on, but instead I will leave you with my favorite quote from the book, which I think is a good representation of the story as a whole because it revolves around female friendship and the sometimes blurry lines of those friendships for a young lesbian. It’s just after she tells her friend Susan, who has lost her father and who she is deeply in love with, “I’m so sorry. I love you.” Susan grabs her hand, squeezes, pulls it to her chest and asks Taylor, “‘Keep me warm?’”

“In this moment, I felt strangely lucky. To be a girl, to be able to say these things and for them to be okay and normal to say. To tell the truth, even if it meant something completely different to me.”
__
Edit: I can't believe I forgot to say that this book, despite the heavy subject matter, is so funny. Laughed out loud multiple times. Taylor is hilarious.
1 review
August 24, 2019
This novel is refreshing in several ways, and it’s also honest and brave. It follows the narrator, a seemingly unlikable popular mean girl (who I ultimately found hilarious, vulnerable and sympathetic), on her coming out journey, which is unlike any other I’ve seen before.

Yes, it’s full of homophobia, fatphobia and other triggering content, but... those things exist!!! Sadly, while this novel is historical, the homophobia portrayed (both internal and external) were prominent during the late 90s/early 2000s, and still are. This author takes risks with her characters, and shows the pressure put on both Taylor and Corvis in a searingly real way. They present differently, and they have different problems, but both characters are beyond compelling.

Another thing this novel nails is the ridiculous idea that lesbians must “look a certain way” to be gay. This, sadly, feels true sometimes. Of course it’s not, and our narrator realizes this at the end of the book. But too often, pressure is put on queer people FROM OTHER QUEER PEOPLE as well as from heteronormative society. This is a quiet, but important, theme in this book. I also love how this story quietly explores class and education. I love that our girl escapes her constrictive hometown, but still loves where she cane from.

I highly recommend this book, especially to readers who like Euphoria. It doesn’t back down from unpopular ideas, and the result is a sad, poignant, real story. Love love love.
1 review
September 5, 2019
If you’re a fan of Skins or Euphoria, this book is for you! Super realistic f/f romance... unexpected ending... beautiful writing.
1 review
August 29, 2019
I was given an advanced copy in exchange for this review.

I am in love with this book!!! The ending is feminist AF. It was not what I expected to happen, and I love seeing girls choose to save themselves rather than let a man “rescue” them.

Taylor’s coming out story was unique and funny. I recommend this book to anyone looking for an awesome f/f romance.
1 review
October 12, 2019
Lindsay Sproul is able to capture the thoughts and voice of teens in a way that is unmatched. She takes such care with her characters and her wit is top notch. I love how this book flips the expectation of the underdog.

I love everything she writes, but this is at the top of the list! Gay AF.
1 review
October 14, 2019
THIS BOOK!!!!!! I am in love with it. It's an extremely complex story in the package of a "fun read," which it iS, but it's so much more than that.

It's not very often that we get the perspective of the popular girl--usually, this character is a pathetic stereotype. Also, it's not often that we see books that discuss the way physical beauty can actually be damaging to a girl or a woman--how literally everyone finds attractive girls threatening. This book NAILS IT. The male characters are threatened by the fact that they can't own Taylor, the other girls are threatened by the fact that the boys like her, and even her OWN MOTHER is threatened by her. I've never quite seen this issue explored, and it's even more important with a lesbian narrator. People will criticize this book for blatantly exploring homophobia and fat-phobia, but in my opinion, this book takes the only risk it could in order to feel real.

I absolutely love Taylor's weird observations, our invitation into her complicated POV, the way in which she absolutely hates herself but then finds a way to love something about herself that isn't what others love. I also found the narrative arcs of Corvis, Susan, Heather and even Brad compelling.

Also, the prom scene? So cinematic. Best scene I've read in a book all year. And the writing itself? Gorgeous. These sentences (and the dialogue) stand out when compared to other YA titles. Read this immediately.
Profile Image for Andrew.
1,971 reviews127 followers
October 27, 2019
This novel feels like a quiet rebellion-- it's 1999, and Taylor is tired of being the popular girl, expected to stay rooted to her hometown forever. As she slowly emerges into her lesbian identity and general sense of who she really is, she burns some bridges, while rebuilding others. We Were Promised Spotlights shows the middle-of-the-road struggle many teens often face as they come into themselves as people-- not completely miserable, but not necessarily happy. The fact that Taylor is so far from perfect is a big part of what makes this book stand out. Her emotional growth throughout her senior year is glorious to witness; readers will leave feeling nostalgic and with clarity.
Profile Image for Kaylie Saidin.
9 reviews19 followers
March 25, 2020
THIS BOOK WAS INCREDIBLE. READ THIS BOOK.

This is extremely character driven, and there’s a lot of nuance to each of them and the ways that they interact with one another. The dialogue felt realistic and ironic and snarky in an authentic teenage-girl way. None of the characters were a one-trick pony (except for maybe Brad, which is fine because one-trick ponies exist in real life, too).

Taylor was the perfect narrator for this story. I felt sympathy for her and irritation toward her and I was rooting for her all at once. It’s uncommon to get a YA novel from the perspective of the popular mean girl. I liked that she realized she could be more than that, and more than what her Mom was. The relationship between her and her mother was poignant and sad, and I loved the storyline involving her potential movie-star father Johnny Moon.

Another amazing character: Corvis McClellan, the sanest high schooler in this entire book. I love the way that she represents what Taylor wants to be: comfortable, open, and with a plan to escape.

The setting was beautifully described (especially in the last two paragraphs of the book). I’ve seen some reviews arguing that this is a historic novel. While I think it has a lot of vibes and affectations from the late 90s, it felt still relevant today, especially in regards to a lot of the homophobia & internalized homophobia. Unfortunately, so much of that is still happening in small towns. The one thing that felt like a relic of the past in this book was that the popular kids didn’t really care about school or anything––I graduated high school in 2016 and it seemed like all the popular kids were making straight As, getting into UCLA and organizing beach cleanups and stuff, lol.

The disastrous prom scene felt inevitable, but the ending truly was one I couldn’t have seen coming.

Profile Image for Michele Young-Stone.
Author 4 books164 followers
April 7, 2020
I heard about this debut YA Queer novel on Twitter and from friends on Instagram. I don't think it even needs the labels "YA" or "Queer". I mean, it is a YA novel, a brilliantly honest, painfully raw book about trying to be the person others expect you to be, but aside from any categorization, it's a great work of fiction.

The characters are as real as everyone I knew in high school, and this book basically proves that high school today and thirty years ago and all the years in-between are very similar, the same cliques, the same bullying, the same inclusion and exclusion, the same trying to fit in, the characters who you just know are going to "make it" no matter how much shit they get in high school and those who will always consider high school their glory days, the best years of their lives. They'll keep their high school mascot and colors on their Facebook page and never go anywhere or do anything. And they'll be fine with it.

And then there are the girls who were promised spotlights, like the main character, Taylor, who "tries" to go along and do what's expected, but ultimately, she can't because Taylor wants more from life. She's not willing to settle. She won't be her mom. She won't do what's expected. This is a terrific novel. The prose are economical. The dialogue is subtextual. The characters are complicated. I LOVED this book. I saved the last chapters as a treat. I highly recommend this novel. I'm really excited to read future books by Lindsay Sproul.
1 review
October 17, 2019
WOW... The notion that female physical beauty is threatening? To literally everyone? This is the first book I've ever seen that deals with that topic, and it's even better/more complex that the character is queer. This is a THING, people!

To all of you delicate flowers complaining about homophobia in this book, you need to realize that it's also a thing. Internalized homophobia was MOST DEF a HUGE thing in the 90s (especially in conservative small towns), and it sadly still is. This book depicts it honestly, and frankly, in a way that needed to be said. It's definitely horrible, and can be triggering, but reading is supposed to trigger us. For me, Taylor's journey is so searingly real, and without the intense external/internal homophobia she faces, the book wouldn't work at all.

Two more things: The whole Johnny Moon dynamic is what really made me love Taylor, other than her voice. She chooses her OWN path, even when given the chance to have what "every girl would dream of." We see her own her sexuality in the prom scene, and finally take her life into her own hands. Thing Number Two: The writing in this book is FAR FAR FAR better than what I've seen in other YA novels. It's gorgeous. Utterly gorgeous, and weird, and compelling beyond belief. Finally, a book that I relate to. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
Profile Image for Rachel.
86 reviews16 followers
March 22, 2020
You should pre-order this book. It comes out at the end of March!

I don’t often YA literature but this novel was a quick, easy and compelling read.

It follows the final year of closeted, popular lesbian high school girl called Taylor. She is a regularly self-hating, conflicted, and a bully. She uses others for her own gain even as she complains that they use her for her popularity.

She feels trapped. Like her life is pre-planned and she can’t change and initially she isn’t even sure if she wants to. As the novel progresses her relationship with her best friend that she is love with (Susan), her boyfriend she doesn’t love (Brad) and her ex-best friend that she outed and shamed (Corvis) take on new roles and importance in her life as Taylor attempts to take back control of her life.

Amongst all this teenage high school drama is also family drama as Taylor wonders if her father is a famous movie star, Taylor’s mum and her myriad of boyfriend and former boyfriends are both judged and understood. Susan’s abusive father dies and Heather’s (another friend) parents divorce.

In the end Taylor is true to herself and her desire to leave but I don’t think she has stones for her behaviour, she is still self-centred even as she leaves for the West Coast with Heather.

Would recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Mynoma.
69 reviews3 followers
October 7, 2019
You can also find this review at my blog!

I am so glad I came across this book. Taylor is a big disaster gay.

Loved this story so much because the perspective is quite refreshing. Taylor was a truly realistic character when portraying internalized homophobia and dealing with the expectations and image she has to hold when being such a public image as she is. We get to know how nostalgic she is, how she would give anything to be anyone else but her and while she can be a bitch sometimes, we get to empathize with her. The way she grows into her identity and explores her limits throughout her senior year is incredible and really touching.

Finally, that prom will stay forever in my mental list of favorite moments in books.
Profile Image for Waverly Tess.
123 reviews
April 12, 2020
I haven't written a "review" in a while, but I need to with this one. I may be biased, but this story really captured me. This was my first YA I've read in a while that I truly loved. I connected with Taylor Garland on another level. She brought me back to my high school years and made me remember ideas and poignant thoughts I haven't thought of since then. The sexuality aspect is beautifully crafted. There are some topics such as herpes, underage drinking, fame, sex positivity, and the "other" perspective of the bitchy girl that I don't see a lot of in YA. Sproul delves into Taylor's character by not necessarily fixing her mean girl side, but acknowledging it and makeing Taylor feel more understood to the reader.

I really appreciated that Sproul didn't shy away from topics that are misunderstood because they aren't spoken about enough. Since I haven't been reading too much YA recently, I'm not certain of what is more present in Ya novels, especially the LGBTQ+ novels, but I do know this book inspired me to read more!

The writing is effortless and flows so easily. I had to stop quite a few times to reread beautiful lines that sound nice until I reread them and really sank into them. The plot is always changing in a good way! Emotions are circling and the teenage angst is very palpable within the story. The ending made me cry a little. Knowing the goodbyes were real goodbyes shocked me in the most unsurprising way because although high school friends are close at the time, people move on and find new lives and new people to share their lives with. It's sad, but human.

It took me a while to read because I wanted to savor it. I would tuck myself in and read a few chapters a night and the words always made me think right up until I drifted to sleep. Thank you for this story, Lindsay! You inspire me in so many ways! Thank you for helping me finish my last year of college!!
1 review
August 24, 2019
I received an advanced copy in exchange for this review.

This book is refreshing. It takes a seemingly unlikable character (who I ultimately found hilarious and real and sympathetic), and the result is a coming out story that’s different from any other I’ve seen before.

Yes, there’s a ton of homophobia in this book, and while it made me uncomfortable at times, it feels important to show that the world was like this in the late 90s/early 2000s, and in many places, still is. So many of us still face that, both inside ourselves and from society. Ditto with fatphobia.

While the idea that a lesbian has to “look a certain way” is ridiculous, it feels true sometimes, and this book nails that idea. There’s pressure both from inside and outside the queer community to present yourself in a certain way. The novel shows this through Taylor and Corvis. Their struggles are different, and both valid.

This is a triumph of leaving a constructive small town. I loved it. It’s a brave, honest novel.
Profile Image for Sarah.
3 reviews
January 4, 2020
Thank you to Edelweiss+ for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I've never read anything quite like this book--the word that comes to mind first when describing it is "honest." Sometimes, it's harsh. Sometimes, it's painful to read. Sometimes, it's hilarious. But it felt overwhelmingly real.

I recommend this to people who want to read a book where teenagers feel like real teenagers. Reminded me of Euphoria, Skins and My So-Called Life. The writing itself is beyond most YA on the sentence level. I loved it.
Profile Image for Larry H.
3,078 reviews29.6k followers
January 3, 2021
Lindsay Sproul's We Were Promised Spotlights is a story about owning who you are and making your own choices.

It’s 1999 in the small town of Hopuonk, Massachusetts. Taylor is the most popular girl in school. She’s beautiful—everyone tells her so—and everyone wants to be her and/or be near her. It’s expected she’ll be crowned prom queen and homecoming queen, and date the most handsome and popular boys in school.

It seems like the perfect life from the outside looking in, and even her future is determined—she should go to school to become a dental hygenist and marry the prom king. Who wouldn’t want that?

The only obstacle to all of this is Taylor herself. She doesn’t even like the smell of dentists’ offices. She hates her life, the constant pressure to party, look good, be popular. And she’s in love with her best friend, Susan. But of course, no one wants to know any of that, not Taylor's friends, not her waitress mother who also was crowned prom queen years before.

As senior year of high school draws to a close, Taylor is getting less satisfied with the idea of following the expected path. But how much is she willing to destroy everything and everyone else around her in an effort to be who she wants to be?

We Were Promised Spotlights was a well-written story about the pressures of “fitting in” when everyone thinks you’ve got it made. Certainly having to tell people you’re not who they think you are—or even if they have suspicions—is hard. Many of us have been there.

The thing is, I just really disliked all of the characters. I get the whole disaffected teenager thing but I just can’t find sympathy for people who are mean and allow others to bully people because they’re unhappy with themselves, afraid they’ll be exposed, or they’re just assholes. The whole “ridicule the gay people because you’re afraid someone will think you're gay” is real, I know (I've been a victim of it), but it wasn't enjoyable for me to read about.

Some have really praised the book, however, so maybe those with more distance from this kind of plot may enjoy it more.

Check out my list of the best books I read in 2019 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2019.html.

Check out my list of the best books of the decade at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/my-favorite-books-of-decade.html.

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
Profile Image for Heidi.
534 reviews7 followers
March 9, 2020
Taylor is the queen of high school. Literally. She's the homecoming queen, and a shoe-in for prom queen. She gets invited to every party. Every girl wants to be her, every guy wants to do her. Everyone thinks Taylor's life is perfect, and that after graduation she'll continue living in their small town and have the perfect life with a husband and a few kids. Except Taylor wants nothing more than to leave town, and she'd rather be with her best friend Susan than have a husband. The end of senior year is getting closer and Taylor is stuck in a future she doesn't want. What better time to blow it all up?

This is a very introspective, character-driven story. While it is by no means a comedy, Taylor has a certain biting tone as a narrator that you sometimes can't help but laugh. On the surface, Taylor is the popular bitchy star of her high school, but it doesn't take long before the layers unravel and we get a look inside that persona. She's dealing with sex, an absent father, (internalised) homophobia, anxiety about her future, regret over past mistakes, and a whole lot more. And that is so refreshing, not just in a YA book, but in a queer YA book. This book had on the page descriptions of sex, which hardly ever happens in a YA book.

The discussions about sex and sexuality were so real. And there's commentary on body image issues, STIs, sexism, consent, drinking,... This book pretty much does it all. And although this takes place in 1999-2000, it feels very contemporary. Take away the landlines and give everyone a smartphone, and this could've been happening anywhere today.

The prom scene is one of those things that you can see coming from miles away, but it was still pretty shocking when it actually happened. The same goes for the ending, which felt out of the blue yet ultimately inevitable.

(I received a copy from the publisher via Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review.)
Profile Image for Lucsbooks.
532 reviews4 followers
October 9, 2019
We don’t usually get stories about the popular kids, do we? Normally it’s all about the underdog and the ones that are different, popular becomes a synonym with being devoid of a personality or a life except to notice how pretty they are and how difficult they make the protagonist's life. Except in this story, the popular girl is the protagonist and if we can see her being a nightmare, we also see that she is a product and slave of the societal expectations put on her.

Taylor is not an easy character to like but you do understand where she comes from and why she is the way she is, something that the author extended to all her characters: there is a big difference between what we show others and who we really are.

I also loved that Taylor knew that she was gay from the beginning and how thirsty she was for every girl around her but the best part for me was that the author focused not only on her sexual orientation but on her sexuality in general as well as in those around her. The place in which this story is set also influences the story a lot, with alcohol and drugs fulfilling the emptiness most of the characters seem to feel.

The only thing that I did not like was the ending itself. After all the growth, having Taylor falling in love out of nowhere felt kind of wrong, just another pretty girl that would be a waste to be single, when throughout the entire book Taylor resents being forced to act a certain way because of her beauty. That aside I loved the beginning and the rhythm at which the story was told until then.

Also, there is something about how understated that cover is.

Thank you to Putnam Children's and Edelweiss+ for this DRC.
Profile Image for Olivia Wong.
1 review
January 8, 2020
This is my FIRST advanced copy--thank you Edelweiss+! (this review is based on the uncorrected proof)

As a queer reader of a similar age to Taylor, I found her to be incredibly, almost heartbreakingly real. She does such terrible things, but Sproul shows us where this behavior stems from and why, and also invites us into Taylor's mind in such a way that we KNOW her. (Also--she's SEVENTEEN! With no retrospective adult narration looking back on her behavior, and her working class, uneducated background, I found these actions/thoughts necessary to make her believable.) I found her funny at times, and I love the way this book explores a character (the popular bitch) who is almost always one-dimensional. I also enjoyed the Johnny Moon element of the book (why isn't there a movie already about Rasputin???) and how it forced her to make a choice about taking ownership of her own life, after so many other people have attempted to "own" her.

Overall, I think this book is perfect for people who want to read about teenagers who feel like real teenagers, and the ensemble cast is great. Favorite character spot: Corvis McClellan! Highly recommend this one.
18 reviews
April 14, 2020
So, this book is not perfect. But. It was exactly what I needed these past few days, and also it was kind of perfect. It's just so exactly up my alley it's not even funny. And it was,,,,really moving?
I couldn't always tell where it was headed which is a bit novel for a ya contemporary, and a nice change of pace.
I kept hoping for certain things and being all "surely not" and then it would happen !! Like, honestly I would have settled for a little tiny crumb of development for heather, but she ended up getting lots of attention !! and a very satisfying arc.
I have such a soft spot for mean girl characters and I love that both her and Taylor had so many levels and so much thought put into them. They were so much more than archetypes.
Really most of the side characters were spot on. And I liked that they were so flawed and that wasn't shied away from and wasn't always corrected.
Also, there was this one paragraph very early on with a spider and it was maybe the best thing I've ever read. I had to screenshot it and send it to my siblings. It's become a family meme now. I'm gonna come out of quarantine and forget other people don't know what pantomiming a spider throwing ash means.
Anyway. Quarantine and funerals are hell, and this made life bearable and I loved it a lot
Profile Image for tegan.
408 reviews38 followers
April 18, 2020
q15: this book has inspired me 2 start a new shelf of books where other reviewers are like “this character is terrible and unlikeable” and i’m like “ah! myself!”
i loooooove queer coming of age narratives and small town stories & this reminded me of both the miseducation of cameron post and the spaces between us in v good ways

“i wanted my best friend, susan, to hug me for a really, really, realy long time while i buried my face in her stomach and melissa etheridge played in the background. i wanted her to drive me to california, and then i wanted to die in her hair.”

“as i heard sandra’s words come out of my mouth, i wondered how much i was a part of her, how much of me came from being her daughter.”

“i think he was nervous, because he started rolling over for me right there on the dirt. it was like he had to prove that he was worth keeping.
‘it’s okay,’ i said to him, curling my fingers into his wiry fur. ‘stop rolling over. you don’t have to roll over. i want you.’”

“i didn’t realize how great my love was for the small pockets of hopuonk that i felt belonged to me, and i was beginning to understand that the feeling of homesickness would hit me later, in moments when i didn’t expect it.”

Profile Image for Christy.
1,505 reviews294 followers
June 5, 2020
This was everything I’d hoped it be!
1 review
April 5, 2020
This was definitely the unique book I was looking for when my senior year of high school was cancelled. (Thank you, Lindsay Sproul, for letting my live vicariously through Taylor's!) I know lots of people won't like Taylor, and I get that, but I thought she was funny and weird and empathetic, and while this book isn't laugh out loud funny, there were so many parts that DID make me laugh. Ultimately, I found this book to be SO REAL in terms of what high school actually feels like, and I appreciate that there were actual sex scenes on the page, which doesn't happen much in YA, especially in queer YA. Highly recommend!!!

Profile Image for Sara Hosey.
Author 7 books137 followers
April 5, 2020
5 STARS!

This book is awesome. The voice is smart and authentic and funny, the characters are complex and believable, and the story itself just blew me away. I love Taylor--even when she isn't very nice--and I love the journey she takes in this novel. This is a book for everyone--not just young adults!
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