The Court Jester’s Nursery Rhyme: Three Blind Mice

by The Duke of Quails

I finally found him this friend of mine, who was in a setting that was hard to find. He is my friend and I soon to be his, the darkness he hides have fooled many who walk the earth with blind eyes. The children, the lovely little stars will be a part of this adventure a story told by me the Devils Court Jester. Three blind mice an awful tale bringing forth the death of three children, who's craving for sweets, led them to a deadly treat. The poor boys, who were too blind to tell or foreshadow there death but a tale nun the less that will put your stomach to the test.

102 pages, Paperback

Published April 22, 2017

About the author

Im usually not on here as much but for all my poetry projects future works hit me up on instagram
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Reviews

[Bob Green · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm really not sure what to say about this one. It starts with an extended rape description and goes into a security guard's new job who then gets to finally go on a date with the girl of his dreams and then ends up in a nightmare-scape described by a murdered child and a creepy clown and then... just... stops.

The idea, which reads like it's almost "It" fan-fiction, seems like it wanted to get to where it was going but the fits and starts that it took to get there, if we ever did, were jarring and the destination was never clearly defined. We have no descriptions of the characters (which is OK, I guess, if we want to kind of fill ourselves in), no real background to the characters other than the security guard and the villain toward the end of the book (who gives it to us via monologue-ing), no sense of time or space, really, seeing as how, in the dream-world, the murdered child describes taking candy that has a potential prize of going to meet Babe Ruth but also mentions that the store he is frequenting has security cameras everywhere. (Babe Ruth stopped playing in 1935. Closed circuit television wasn't invented until 1942.)

As for the dialogue, it was somewhat stilted and the faux-German peppered in there didn't help. Having the villain refer to the murdered child as "My little Fuhrer" was a step too far and left nothing to the imagination. And let's not talk about the clown-rhymes. I can't.

It seems like this is a valiant first-attempt and it wasn't horrible but I can't really recommend it. Perhaps a little research and a couple of thorough read-throughs with friends, classmates or an editor to make sure that everything sounds natural could have saved it.