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Breathe

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Dr. Adam is a cardiologist who knows how to help others.
The only thing he can’t fix is himself.
When a heart attack threatens his life, Adam is given a chance
to look at his past to rediscover the friendship and the love he lost.
In his darkest hours, friends and strangers are racing against time to save him.
Yet, the key to his survival and future might lie in his past.
All Adam wants is a second chance.
And, time is running out…

262 pages, Paperback

Published April 28, 2017

39 people are currently reading
406 people want to read

About the author

Beni Rusani

4 books226 followers
Dr Beni Isman Rusani received his medical degree from The University of Auckland, New Zealand in 2002. He is a cardiologist at the National Heart Institute in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. You could follow his twitter at @drbenirusani.

His debut novel BREATHE is Malaysia's first English medical novel - a story of survival and second chances.

BREATHE was well received during PBAKL (KL book festival) in PWTC, where 2000 copies were grabbed within 3.5 days.

It will be available again at the END of May in MPH and on-line from www.whitecoat.com.my

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
Profile Image for Rebecca.
Author 16 books155 followers
July 5, 2017
2.5 stars

I was excited to read this, to the extent to spending my lunch time on Monday to get to the nearest MPH (10-minute train ride away) and back, just to get a copy of the book.

It started out promisingly, but 1/4 through, I got irritated.

In the author's excitement in relating the story, he was everywhere in the story. Thus we got characters without distinctive identities - they are all the author, even the narrator. I was particularly irritated because they all have the exact copy sense of humor. After a while, they are not funny anymore, but just the author trying to sound clever.

I just very recently lost a loved one, and have been reading on death as a way, maybe, to "rationalize" and come to term with it. But somehow I feel there's a disconnection on the novel's exploration of the subject. It feel so "removed"...

Obviously I am not discounting the author's authority in the field of medicine, but this being a novel, and me being a reader, I want to savor it as a piece of writing too.

And I was writhing in pain, something that no painkiller can numb.
Profile Image for hans.
1,159 reviews152 followers
August 27, 2019
I honestly love how the author phrasing his narrative that not once I felt bored or lengthy or too wordy. I like the idea of the plot, about all of the characters-- love Mad Dog and those slapping stressing love triangle/stories whatsoever cause I think it was fairly entertaining in between the real story of Dr. Adam. It was tensed and suspense at some point, although back and forth it was still good and well written. It gripped my attention and curiosity, I fancy those medical stuff in it (cause I know none!) and how the story of Dr. Adam since the very beginning of the heart attack to how he managed to realize of certain important things in life, those flashbacks and friendship, love and family. I like that the plot 'struggling' in between consciousness of the main character that it gave such an enthralling feeling.

A story of a 'life'. My favorite of John Doe and nearly the end. It was very much heart-warming.

"...when people die, their soul and love for everyone else would be among the last to leave their bodies. Love will hold on to them until their very last moment. Love always prevails."
Profile Image for Zy Masri.
28 reviews21 followers
May 6, 2017
Hello there, Dr Beni:).
Yes, we adored you and your words and your witty liner and banter, but after reading this book, it was officially on a more immense level:).

It felt surreal; finally finishing that gorgeous book (which is phew; beautifully written and perfectly riddled with fantastic plot twists! ) ; and I must say that it was truly a satisfying experience (albeit the book was a bit too small for me aha!) And the only way to cure this sudden post-book itch on my hands are to write a review about it which I don't think will do this book any adequate justice it truly deserves :')

I always feel that I'd read (and me myself involved) in far too many medic-related stories that I'd grown quite sickly accustomed to all it's cliches, punchlines and antiques, but this one; is truly an exception👏🏻
It refreshingly intrigues me. And also for the non-medical readers; the kind explanations that accompanies each scenes ; actively engages them as well, like they're part of the small circle formed at a cafe as Dr Beni himself gradually unfold the story over cups of coffees:)
And for me, the flashbacks were strangely comforting; like going through a routine for the very first time: eyes bright and wide awake.
(And reading certain chapters do feel like meeting my first love, all over again; in a hospital, in a chaotic room; and only to part our ways many months later: painfully, yes)
PS: What's with this ED resus zones in all its chaotic turbulence that always make people to easily fell in love with each other ??! LOL.

Dr Beni truly has his own witty-hey-ho ways in telling a story, and it resonates with me maybe because it mimics my very own: both the good and the bad ones. And which was beautiful and thoughtful , as it was told from a colleague's point of view who is more senior and highly skilled in his field of expertise than me.
I've learnt so many things.
It opened so many doors (in me).
And for this, i am indebted.
Thank you Dr Beni, for this hella good ride :)
Profile Image for Steff.
108 reviews17 followers
October 1, 2017
I love Mad Doc.

Don’t get me wrong with the three stars—it’s good, kudos Dr.

Love the content and the plot twist. Lessons, messages, and glimpses of the world of medical. Amazing.

However I wished it was written from a first-person narrative than the third-person narrative. There were many monologues.

To be reading a Malaysian setting with Westernized styled day-to-day jokes and figure of speech seemed a little off to me. I wished the dialogues and interactions are more... Malaysianized. Nothing wrong with Manglish in local writings—even Cheryl Tan managed to publish Sarong Party Girls with 99% Singlish dialogues under American publishers. It makes the setting and feel more authentic and closer to being relatable/home.

But for a first full-length novel, I’d say condragulations Dr, this is pretty good stuff.
Profile Image for Shine Bright.
5 reviews1 follower
June 3, 2017
I hope it is not too late to congratulate Dr Beni on your debut Novel "Breathe".

"Breathe" positively inspire and motivate the readers in many ways. I recommend book worms to grab this book at MPH or buy from WhiteCoat online by the end of May. This bestselling novel is a must-read novel by all Malaysians.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's support our local authors and buy the first local English-Medical-novel. 😉
Profile Image for Cik Nadiah.
74 reviews1 follower
May 9, 2017
Some experts say that when humans are experiencing death, the brain cells start to die as well. In a desperate attempt to stay alive, these brain cells start to fire rapid signals. This brain activity triggers our deepest, and some say our most special memories. Making life flashes before our eyes -- dying

Such an inspire book. Thank you author.
Profile Image for anahashim17.
90 reviews15 followers
May 4, 2017
Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah. It takes me a day to finish this debut novel.The story line seems a bit familiar with other english novel,flashback, plot twist, and so forth.Yes, this is supposed the right way to make the story more interesting.I like it.

Every medical scene sounds just like a few medical kdrama I watched before, and it makes me easy to understand the situation.But yes, it is not easy to describe than done.

Speaking about second chance, I found it fascinates how the author describe every single moment with such descriptive words and sentences.And not to forget, what makes the story more interesting where he puts LOVE-HATE relationship ❤️ in it.But why must it ends that way? Does love immortal?My apology for never feel this complicated word LOVE since 27 years ago.I've never been in any relationship before.How I wish I could have one,and ending with a good one, happily ever after😊

But somehow I feel something is missing.Whenever I read and imagine Adam is the author, back and forth looking into the author profile picture, into his deep hollow eyes, there is something I find missing.The sorrow and misery lie beneath the eyes of the author.
I don't know why.Am I thinking too much? Am I observing too much?

Btw, looking forward to read your second novel, might be after 1 and half year or might be earlier, next pbakl 2018.I pray for it😇

#p/s : I keep some of your interesting quotes/sentences in my reading activity so that I can refer to it later to be used in my social media account, instagram or twitter😉,tq in advance

#p/s : I bought this book on last Friday cause I thought you weren't come to meet and greet session.So no signature of yours.I'm not free on this weekend.I miss the chance to get your sign.😢
Profile Image for Auni Zainal.
Author 5 books113 followers
May 30, 2019
God. How on earth these doctors could have the time to write books? Writing medical fiction novel isn't easy especially when you're a doctor -you have a lot of experience on dealing with patients and cases- so you have to hold yourself from jumbling every story you know in one book. It is hard because you need to know the balance between medical stories (anecdotes) & story flow (fiction novel). And then you're also responsible to explain the medical terms in easier language... That's another skill to have.

Writing this kind of book is never an easy job but when one is perfectly done, I'm pretty sure the book will be on the best-selling shelves for quite a long time.

This book, has the focus and the balance. When you read it you'll agree that it is well written. I even had goosebumps while reading the plot twist. Thanks for making me anxious and panic in a crowded LRT.

Early chapters are a bit slow. Other than that: nothing but satisfaction.
Good job Dr Beni!
Profile Image for Hanis Khaleeda.
90 reviews10 followers
January 9, 2018
BREATHE by Beni Rusani.

- Ada 262 muka surat.

- Salah satu buku yang lama dah aku nak baca.

- Buku pasal seorang doktor cardiologist (( Dr. Adam )) yang selama ni bantu dan tolong orang but at the end dia yang kena heart attack.

- Dalam dia tak sedarkan diri tu, dia diberi peluang untuk rediscover benda yang dah terjadi pada masa lalu which are about friendship and love. Kira macam dia travel back ke masa lepas dia la.

- Full of emotions; sad, shock, tapi yang paling banyak elemen-elemen cemas la. Haha you better try to control your own emotions when you read this book.

- Bila baca buku ni, kau akan faham dan rasa betapa hard, difficult, exhausted to be a doctor. But then bila kau dapat selamatkan nyawa someone tu kau akan rasa it is a bless. Then, baru aku tahu juga the feeling when a doctor failed to save someone life. Murung, dispression, you better read this book to know more.

- Nak rasa macam mana duduk dalam OT ? Baca buku ni.

- Haa lupa nak cakap, this book is fully in English. So ready la awal-awal kamus or google translate masa baca buku ni. (( kalau dah expert English takyah takpe )).

- Kalau nak tahu Dr.Adam tu selamat atau tak in the end, kena la baca buku ni, takpun boleh pm aku hahaha.

- Appreciate la the unsung hero ni. May Allah bless those kind persons.

- Nice book. Worth to read for. Baca la weh !

#readingchallenge2018
#duniaBOOKku📚
#bukutiga
Profile Image for Love.
2 reviews
May 7, 2017
I was surprised that I only took roughly about 5 hours (or less) to finish the entire novel. As I started reading, I could not stop but wonder what will happen next. (I started reading it just before bedtime at around 11.30pm and I found myself still awake at 2.50am so yeah, I sort of force myself to sleep. By that time, I was already at chapter 13). When I woke up this morning, I continued my reading until the last page! I really like the storyline as it gives a glimpse into a private life of a doctor, how normal he is, to have feelings and dreams as other people would. I found the language used by the author remarkably beautiful and also well-written. I also recognise some of the places mentioned in the novel, like TC. A trip down memory lane, ey? Just show that the author never forget his roots. That's so cool and genuine of you.
And yeah, we did meet at yesterday's meet and greet. The author is friendly and knows how to strike up a conversation with people. I am looking forward to your next novel. Never stop writing, doc. You got a talent in this, clearly. ☺
Profile Image for Shaznie Mardhiah.
88 reviews
August 7, 2019
been wanting to read this since dulu lagi, nasib baik kwn ada so bole pinjam je heheh

i like everything abt breathe ; the storyline, the plot twist, the flashbacks, the characters — how everyone was actually connected to each other, the dramas etc. its like reading greys anatomy’s but version msia. i wish the story was a bit longer tho.

hopefully breathe not the only book from dr beni. cause we stan a great writer, and we stan an author whom include cats in his acknowledgements page 😹


Profile Image for Erni .
288 reviews4 followers
August 10, 2017
First of all, there are too many short sentences, I felt tired reading. Perhaps if there are longer sentences here and there, with some punctuations, it would have been better. That's my biggest problem with this book.

However, the story starts very interestingly, we found out that Dr Adam has a heart attack and will die soon. From then on, we were left wondering whether: will he die, or won't he. As he lay dying, he began to have flashbacks on his most beautiful moment in his life, from the day he started working as a doctor, how he met his (ex) wife, his friend the Mad Doc and all the patients who were meaningful to him. I was instantly reminded of other books like Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet In Heaven and For One More Day because of the similarities, plot wise, however it would be unfair to compare these to Breathe.

The characters. Adam, as the main character, is quite unlikeable. He was rude on his first day, whiny and arrogant. His relationship with Mad Doc was interesting at the beginning but the revelation about Julia towards the middle of the book I think was unnecessary and so melodramatic. Apart from that I felt that Mad Doc did not owe Adam anything regarding the story of the little girl Mad Doc lost. I couldn't understand why Adam was so keen to know the truth, when it did not involve him at all.

Mad Doc, who was so cool and badass at the very beginning, turned out to be broken inside. It serves as a reminder that even the best of us can succumb to despair. It's nothing much, it is just what makes us human. Doctors, are humans after all.

Other characters, like Julia and Nadia need more development. Perhaps because the length of the novel, there wasn't much chance to develop them properly. In the end, they were forgettable.

Despite the poorly developed characters, there are a lot of life lessons and wisdom here and there, especially about the fragility of life and the curious state of the afterlife. What struck me the most is about the reality of a doctor's life. Most of them choose this career to have a fulfilling life, saving others. Yet, some will emerge broken, lonely and unable to save themselves. Adam's concern when he was about to die, that he would die alone, become obsolete, forgotten and all his effort during his lifetime will amount to nothing, seems to resonate with most people. In fact, a lot of people fear the oblivion, Adam included.

Finally, as a medical student, there are a lot of gems that I need to keep in my pocket and remember it for the long way ahead. Medicine is a tough profession, and when we arrive a a crossroad, and feeling like giving up, remember to take a rest. To save others, we must save ourselves first. And don't sacrifice yourself, or your loved ones, your beliefs or the thing that you hold most dear, just for the sake of being a doctor. As Dr Adam put it, "be wary of the man who gave everything he had to the world because it would leave him empty."

A solid 3.5/5 stars. it could have been a lot better, I guess. However Dr Beni is still an inspiration, and I applaud him for having the time to write a whole book, while busy, you know, saving lives.
Profile Image for Jennifer Susan Antony.
94 reviews3 followers
November 1, 2017
The first few pages didn't grab my interest as I expected. Well since this is the first time I'm reading an Malaysian author book, so I had time to digest the way the novel is written. The way each sentences written was different to me. It had a sense of localization which gives applause to author Beni.

In the beginning I was very confused on the time lapse, as the story goes between past and present , I had to flip to the each chapter beginning to know at which phase is the main protagonist Dr.Adam now. But as it progress, I got along with the storyline as you understand what's happening. The more I read the story , the more convincing becomes the story as Beni intend too. Breathe managed to gain my full attention till to end. It has a good plot with twist.

I got a glimpse of medical world. Each sentence were informal and simple to understand. A very light reading novel book but with lots of medical term knowledge. Even an non-medical person will love it. I love the way Beni had included a short definition for each medical term. Though some of the terms didn't had its definition but almost all of it were well explained.

The story started off with the Dr.Adam an cardiologist does his routine jogging ; soon then ended up with an heart attack in the park. The story revolves around Adam's thoughts during his unconscious state. Adam then bring us along with various character that he meet during his lifetime. It's an trip down memory lane journey.

It would have been great if all the characters that came along in this story were given more importance. They were all half cooked. Especially Mad Doc as I think he's a equivalent character just like Adam. He's one of kind Doctor. Adam and Mad Doc shares a great bonding of Senior and Junior. And another character would be Julia. Adam's love interest in this novel. We didn't get to read how their love blossom , how did they got married and what lead them to divorce. None of this were explained.

Breathe is an eye opening novel for me. Not all doctors are the same. They are also human at the end. At one point of time, I started to think "Is this how Doctors behave" "Is this how the situation will be in surgical room". Even doctors have an emotional attachment to any patients they treat, be a their regular ones or a new patient they meet few minute ago. But the important point for Doctors is that how they to learn from their experience and move on to serve others.
Profile Image for Salamahafifi Yusnaieny.
Author 1 book3 followers
June 13, 2017
I enjoyed how vivid the descriptions were, and how perhaps it's a tale of the author's past. I appreciated this novel. Though it feels like a chick flick (which I have been successfully avoiding for years), but I liked Breathe. (this part I edited, and removed my confusion in order to avoid you from being confused as well)

And I wish I knew, in detail, why Adam & Julia were on the verge of divorce. Cryyyyyyyy.

(this part I removed too because thou shalt not read my fangirliness)

I look forward to reading more books from Beni Rusani.
Profile Image for Shafinaz Zakariah.
3 reviews
May 13, 2017
If the author trying to reach for non medic reader then yes he did it. Well done. This is my 1st time reading a medical novel. Never thought that this genre could be in my read list and I am satisfied with it. Breathe open me up to a whole new world of a doctor. What they do? How they feel? How hard their profession could be? How they coped up with losing a soul? The emotions reached me and make me realised ah! I was wrong for all this time. Read with your heart and you will feel it 😊
Profile Image for Alia Salleh.
15 reviews4 followers
May 17, 2017
Thank God I did not pursue my studies in medicine. Fuhh HAHA

Honestly, the first few pages didn't really caught my interest yet. But after a few chapters, all sort of roller coaster emotions and overwhelming feelings came rushing to me. Suspense after suspense. Interspersed with laughs, gasps, an-almost-tears and a little romantic moment.

Light easy reading but full of knowledge.

Good job and looking forward to read more of your book in the future. Cheers.
Profile Image for Nurul Farahin.
36 reviews1 follower
May 14, 2017
Breathe is a good masterpiece. Straightforward plot. Easy to understand. Never regret when I decided to grab a copy and an autograph. Finished it in a week because of time constraint or I would finish it in a day. But I really enjoy my reading. Kudos to the author ❤️

P/s : Now I should seriously finish Me Before You 😆
Profile Image for Amany.
Author 5 books30 followers
January 13, 2018
Finally! Not the first book I read (obviously) but the first book I rated. Lol.

Well, I'm still lazy to write a review. Nantilah kalau dah ada idea.
Profile Image for Fikah.
146 reviews15 followers
July 15, 2017
First of all, to quote a friend of mine, who quoted Lang Leav when we were discussing this novel :

"An author's first novel is actually his/her autobiography."


Congratulations on your solo debut novel!

Secondly, before this issue bugs me through the review I am about to write, this book needs some COMMA fixes here and there. To some, they might be minor stuff, but really, they successfully have disturbed my reading flow.

And some grammatical mistakes, too.

Enough about that.

I ranted about this book already when I finished the first half of it in my Instagram. I found it a little bit cheesy and cliché, not to mention with some unneeded flirting going around. I braced through anyway because I found the premise was quite promising - a cardiologist with a heart attack? Ironic! Bring it on!

The characters were not described properly, we had flashbacks here and there about Adam, but those were not enough to tell who he really was.

How did the past managed to change him into the man he turned, in the present - I really could not tell. Everything felt so vague, honestly.

Adam's playfulness as my friend justified for his flirty actions, I found them corny (?). Not to mention, his sense of humour while most people found it funny, unfortunately, I didn't. His attempts to lighten up the serious situations felt forced somehow.

While I enjoyed the writing and language styles, I could not quite engage to the romance going between Adam and Julia, the inspiring-doctor-to-his-patient relationship (Adam to Diana), I was left frustrated most of the time. The only acceptable relationship in the story, for me, it would be between Adam and Mad Doc, even though it didn't feel that strong enough for Mad Doc to become Adam's mentor, but at least they had more interactions with each other.

Nevertheless, the idea of going back and forth, between the past and the present while Adam was unconscious, was what kept me glued to the book until the end. The descriptions of the nature whenever Adam's outside were beautifully-written, man, I wish I could write that good, too.

And the unexpected plot twists, the hey-I-didn't-see-that-coming moments, and the near-death experiences were what I liked about this book.

Could have been better.

2.8 stars.
Profile Image for Ir Shakinah.
7 reviews
July 4, 2017
Breathe.
[Beni Rusani]

Publisher : White Coat Interprise
Pages : 262
Duration : 6 hours and 30 minutes (reading + watching Nang Nak movie yesterday)
Rating : 7/10

P/s this is my first time writing review on book in English. Initially i would like to apologize readers that have to go through me using a bad grammar + vocabulary for sentences below.

1. I have learned many things throughout this novel inc medical terms that i will never ever understand what the hell it is mean. Nevertheless, when reading this novel, i felt like i am together in the scenes of each chapters with all the characters, Dr Adam, Mad Doc, Dr Julia, Dr Diana, Dr Faizal, nurses, paramedics with ambulances, ex-policemen who jog frequently and others. I felt like knowing them so well and so close as if i was viewing the scenes from my brain memory camera and suddenly the director shouted "Cut!"
2. I wanted to congratulate the writer because he just made me finished my very first English novel book with my OWN DESIRE besides Potato People and Step by Step (if you dont read the syllabus novels you wouldnt score for Literature section in English 1119)
3. The most disappointed things is knowing that Peter Stuyvesant Soft Pack 20s that I was introduced by my manager when I was once working as a Store Assistant in a famous convenient store is not LUCKY STRIKE. Previously, i am so proud of myself pointed out all the cigarette's brand names in the cigarette display section. I have to introduce it to my new junior staffs just like my manager once did to me. I had memorized all of the cigarette's name including their prices and their a.k.a. names. Mevius's past was Salem and Peter was Lucky Strike. After I googled on those cigarette's names last night, apparently Peter Red Stuyvesant Soft Pack 20s ≠ Lucky Strike and my manager lied to me! Or his previous manager lied to him to lie to me too!!!
4. When you started reading this story, you will feel addictive to read more, just like you are dangling your lips with the first out of 20 pcs from your Marlboro Box. Or perhaps Marlboro Soft Pack. I do not know which one tastes better but both will cost you RM17 and heart attack.

#maribedahbuku
#breathe
#drbenirusani
Profile Image for QaaEmes.
39 reviews1 follower
August 13, 2017
Dr Beni's Breathe has everything I've been looking for in a local book- romance, relationships, added knowledge, witty sense of humor, excellent taste of music (happy to see Linger by The Cranberries was mentioned!), a bit of poetry, and inspiring quotes.

Dr Beni has brilliantly moved the story back and forth, between two time periods, the past and present, carefully maintaining the story flow - a task that can be daunting to authors. The present tells us the story of Dr Adam's unconscious mind while the past reveals his past encounters with significant people in his life, those who would have an impact on his future.

The excitement builds up as the story unfolds although the first two chapters require a little bit of patience. The last time I was so intrigued by a book was way before I had a baby, but this book has got my attention more than my one year old could get! Finished it one day; read it in the baby's play yard and read it in the car from PD to KL, and from KL to PD while the baby slept.

I would have given a perfect 5-star for Breathe if not for the ending. I personally feel that the final chapters were hastily written, and it feels like a giant chunk was removed from the story. The relationship with Julia could have been better expanded, the ups and downs, especially the divorce part, in order to connect the idea of how Julia played a role as "the light" at the end of the story.

Anyway, this is a really extraordinary piece from among our own local authors. Written by a cardiologist, whose schedule is undoubtedly hectic, this book is truly amazing.
Profile Image for Atiqah Ghazali AlKashif.
235 reviews12 followers
June 17, 2020
Breathe by Beni Rusani
Published by WhiteCoat Ent
Goodread's Rating: 4.21/5
My Rating: 3.45/5

"Once you let your guard down, you would notice the peacefulness around you. Nothing could be stronger than the hours of an early morning. As if someone had pressed the mute button and the only audible sound was your breathing. The serenity allowed him to detach briefly from the world filled with sickness and pain, healing his wounded spirits."

This medical fiction book starts on with an episode of a cardiologist, Dr Adam who found himself getting a heart attack while he was jogging at a park near his house. Then, the story goes off in limbo between his first year in housemanship, his courtship with his wife, his sessions with patients and to his battle to stay afloat while going through the myocardial infarction.

It was easy to read the book, with not much of a medical term or jargons. Finished this on a one seating of a 2 hours time, it relaxed the mind and made you think on your spirituality/afterlife. The problems would arise when a reader is trying to remember where the author left the plot on the last section and does the plot matches the lines in this chapter. It became patchy and one would feel like going through a whirlwind of stories on a wuthering evening.

Nevertheless, if your ambition is to be a doctor, or you're into short fiction or books like When Breath Becomes Air, I recommend this book. The book cover is pretty nice too, with gloss finishing. "Trusting you was my decision. Proving me wrong was yours."

📸: @atiqahnikghazali
#MalaysiaMembaca
Profile Image for farah ♡.
171 reviews4 followers
January 21, 2019
Okay, I anticipated this. But I was a tad bit disappointed.

Maybe I'm being too harsh because I compared this book to the award-winning When Breath Becomes Air? I personally don't know myself. This is a debut novel so I guess I should've loosen up myself and just enjoy.

I tried. The foreword was professionally written, promising a good plot overall and a poignant ending. I would say I liked the whole author's note and foreword than the rest of the story. This one feels amateurish, written in a rush and has less impact. I couldn't put this book down when reading the first quarter and the last part of the book.

I loved that we're introduced to a doctor's daily life, glimpses of emergency room, and the whole aspect of life and death as a thing in our life. There are a lot of life lessons in this book, from Mad Doc and Adam but maybe, just maybe it'd be better if it's written in the 1st point of view because there are too many monologues.

This story shifts from the present and past, which is intriguing because we have a piece of present here, and then Adam's past there and slowly towards the end it comes together like a puzzle.

Nevertheless, it's a good debut novel by a local author. I will definitely look forward to his upcoming novels.

And, love is definitely not a binary system.
Profile Image for Fern.
36 reviews
July 2, 2020
This book had its moments, but they were far and few between. Now, I feel I shouldn't be too critical considering I've never written a book in my life so who am I to get all hoity toity about things.
But urghh... here's some glaring issues that just... hurghhhh.
- I've been working in a similar setting for the past couple of years. No one talks like that. The attempt to have a Malaysian setting but with completely Westernised speech and expressions, with no Malaysian rojak in sight just makes all the conversations seem so.... unnatural... awkward... off.
- The cliches. There's a reason they're called cliches. Filling a whole book with them makes it cringy, not smart-sounding. And the book ended with a paraphrase from none other than McDreamy. I kennot.
- The grammar. This book could do with a couple more rounds of proof-reading.
- The twists. The first one or two were interesting enough. Number three, four, five kinda made it feel like we're in some soap opera. Maybe I'm just cynical as heck, but life just ain't that full of coincidences and kismet (kismets?).
I'm sorry, Doc. You seem like a great guy, but this was not a great book.
6 reviews
September 18, 2022
Forgiving others seemed easy, while forgiving yourself was HARD. 
A tiny voice inside Dr. Adam's mind echoed... 

This novel depicted the life of a dying person who subconsciously triggered his past memories and his regrets when he was building himself up as a houseman. Adam, a junior and best friend of a round and complex character named Mad Doc, was in a life-or-death situation that jumbled his memory and muddled his decisions. It was such a thrill to read the whole episodes of heart-wrenching moments of treating, saving, and losing the lives of patients. 

Overall, it's a good book that brings its readers into a roller-coaster ride of confusion with the life-changing errors of a central character. The main character itself teaches the audience to be wise in making their decisions, especially when they are at a crossroads. It is wise to seek guidance and help from others. Other than that, his passion and drive to save people's lives have incredibly inspired me and perhaps many others to appreciate life, be realistic in the moment, and find a good companion, be it a friend or your soulmate.
Profile Image for Flora Joseph.
45 reviews16 followers
December 31, 2017
Shout out to Siti Zakiah for gifting this book from Kuala Lumpur to me, in Miri. I would thank her but she’s probably annoyed by me consistently thanking her for this book.

Okay, back to the review, it’s an easy book to read, although there’s few grammatical error here and there but that’s okay because I can still understand the story. I feel a number of emotions while reading this – anxious, sad, happy, etc and I learned a lot too and one of it is that you should take care of your health while you still have it!

My only problem for this book is that the characters lacks depth – I’m not sure on which part, emotionally? Their background stories? It just what I feel when I read this book. Hopefully, we get to know more about the characters in next sequel… hopefully?

"The unresolved past always find you again, whether it's love or hatred"

"Let go of your past. It wasn't anyone's fault. Some things were destined to be that way."
Profile Image for Za 2151.
1 review
January 31, 2018
It was curiosity that lead me to frantically searching for this book when i was back home in December. I have not read a Malaysian author in English/fiction before so to know that this made it to no 1 bestseller at MPH was definitely the pulling factor.
I would say that this is a delightful light reading for me. Easy to follow storyline esp with footnotes on medical terms used for non-medical person like me. More importantly, what i took away after i have finished reading was, something in this book that i had written in an essay when i was younger. I wrote along the same lines ; that the best things in life are free. Fast forward to the present, and i beleive differently now, when things are free or too easy to get, we tend to take them for granted..just like our hearts. We know its in there somewhere but we dont really care for it until sometimes its a bit too late.

Thank you Dr Beni, i hope you will continue to write in future and i wish you all the best :)
Profile Image for Adilah Jasri.
6 reviews1 follower
July 5, 2017
actual rating : 4.5. this book is insanely amazing! first, it is written by my favourite doctor (even though i never met him personally), secondly, it is about medical story in a point of view of the cardiologist himself which is for me kinda amazing. it is a very good read that i manage to finished it in less than 24 hours even though i have tons of works to do. trust me, in one short you can manage to finish it as the plot is continuously moving and making you wanted to read more. and being a medical student oneself i admit that i cannot help in making the differential diagnosis myself whenever i read the history given by the writer. all in all, if you wanted to read something about real life situation in hospital and the bitter truth about doctor's occupation especially for houseman. but all in all, it is a very good read. thumbs up, dr beni!
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