✰ 3.75 stars ✰
“If the vulture wanted, it could fly right inside.
“I’m not afraid of you,” I whispered.
It cocked its ugly red head.
It knew I lied.”
Written with a lot of tender heart and emotional feels, Ally Condie's middle-grade novel Summerlost is a touching and moving story about Cedar Lee, a young twelve-year old girl, who after her family suffers a devastating loss moves to Iron Creek, Utah for a fresh start- a chance to lessen the hurt that has consumed their family. During her summer, she befriends Lee Bishop, a young twelve-year-old boy, and gets caught up in participating in the Summerlost Festival - a yearly Shakespeare festival - while also helping him uncover the mysteries behind one of his favorite theater actresses, Lisette Chamberlain. And somehow, along the way, through bicycle rides and exploring secret tunnels and embracing a different side to herself, Cedar also learns how to grieve for the ones she has lost. 😔
It's a simple story, but one that touches the heart. Cedar's father and younger brother, Ben, died in a tragic car accident, leaving behind only their memories for her and her mother and her 8-year-old brother, Mike. It's that palpable grief that takes over one's spirit and soul that resonates so deeply in this story and how Cedar learns to move on from that hurt and not be consumed by it - no matter how painful it is. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 That part of her that struggled to spend time with Ben, because he was neurodivergent - looking back at the moments that maybe she could have been more patient, more encouraging, more willing to listen and be receptive rather than dismissive. That it is possible to be different and still belong to your family. For them to love you like crazy.' That guilt was so visceral that Cedar needed something to not distract her, but to make her whole again - to grieve with love. And sometimes it takes a new friend to bring you home. Lee Bishop was the answer for her. 🥺
“Yeah,” Leo said. “I mean, I do think that. But you’re not my girlfriend. You’re my person.”
I knew right away what he meant. I thought he was cute and he thought I was cute but it was different than it was when people have crushes.
With Leo I’d fallen into another kind of like. I couldn’t wait to tell him stuff and I loved hearing him laugh at my jokes and I loved laughing at his jokes. He made me feel like I had a spot in the world.
It felt as if Leo and I could like each other all our lives.
So I hugged him.
He was my person too.”
Cedar and Lee's friendship was so heart-warming and genuine that it warmed me so - it was really just so gentle and kind, that I couldn't help but be so pleased with its portrayal. These are the relationships without romantic inclination that are as comforting and endearing as the very way in which both of them worked so hard to be supportive and there for each other. It was only one summer, but Lee was a true friend in spirit - in courage and in heart. 🥰 I really enjoyed seeing their dynamic progress, I loved the fun and unique ways they became a part of each other's lives - some really clever and unique ways that made me smile.
They both experience their own moments of pain and heart-ache - 'he also didn’t cry. Which it looked for a minute like he might do. I knew that feeling. Hold your mouth tight, tell your heart not to hurt, tell your brain not to think about what might happen next.' - but how they supported each other through their hardships and ordeals in such a comforting way - how they sensed each other's pain, and were there for it. 🫂 The vibes of the festival were also very well-captured; the essence of Shakespeare - the dedication to their craft and art made me feel like I was a part of the cultural revival, as well. It was such a delicate contrast to the profound loss that Cedar was still feeling for Ben and her father.
“I want a good way to remember, I wanted to say to Meg. I want to stop crying. I want everything in the world to stop breaking my heart.”
It's in those little details of memory that left a mark on me. The story maintained such a careful balance to it, to show how the family was still coping with such a deep sadness, but still trying to make it work - to bring a change to their lives, and still honor their memory and never lose them, and give light to a chance to move on from it - in a hopeful way. Cedar's family was grieving and they were each trying to find their own ways to cope with it - no matter how much it hurt, in doing so. 😢 Cedar's sadness was so tangible, all her thoughts of regret really sank their claws into my heart - you can't help but tear up at it. 'I loved him. I finally loved him again, and then he was gone.' It's not a bawling sadness, but an aching sadness - and sometimes, I think, those hurt a lot more than anything. 😞
“And people were with you for some of them.
I was with you for some of them.
There were times when we were all, all around you.”
And that's really all that we have - the memories. Cedar's gradual acceptance of healing from the heart-ache was a beautiful contrast to the mystery she and Lee investigated surrounding the famous actress's death. For in doing so, it was not a summer lost, but a summer that gave back to her that the memories will never go away - that they will always be a part of her - forever - and that how we can only hope that they knew how much they were loved while they were still here - and a part of our lives. 🫶🏻🫶🏻