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The Relic Hunters #1
The Relic Hunters
One of the lost ancient wonders of the world is still out there. . .
In the same style as the Matt Drake series comes The Relic Hunters, a novel packed with camaraderie, action, archaeological mysteries and a brand-new team of hard-hitting, entertaining and highly engaging characters.
Guy Bodie is a relic smuggler, a tough man in a tough world, with self-taught skills in smuggling and combat. He trusts only five people, a proven team, until one of them betrays him, landing him in a hellish Mexican prison. Guy Bodie's chances of survival are diminishing by the minute.
To his surprise, the American CIA then break him out, tell him to hand-pick a team, and start right back at his old job - only this time he's working for them - chasing down the most infamous relics in history and trying to solve the greatest heist - how one of the world's seven ancient wonders was once stolen and then concealed.
With thrilling action across the globe, The Relic Hunters begins a new series in the Matt Drake vein of archaeological mystery, historical adventures and team camaraderie.
In the same style as the Matt Drake series comes The Relic Hunters, a novel packed with camaraderie, action, archaeological mysteries and a brand-new team of hard-hitting, entertaining and highly engaging characters.
Guy Bodie is a relic smuggler, a tough man in a tough world, with self-taught skills in smuggling and combat. He trusts only five people, a proven team, until one of them betrays him, landing him in a hellish Mexican prison. Guy Bodie's chances of survival are diminishing by the minute.
To his surprise, the American CIA then break him out, tell him to hand-pick a team, and start right back at his old job - only this time he's working for them - chasing down the most infamous relics in history and trying to solve the greatest heist - how one of the world's seven ancient wonders was once stolen and then concealed.
With thrilling action across the globe, The Relic Hunters begins a new series in the Matt Drake vein of archaeological mystery, historical adventures and team camaraderie.
225 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2017
3730 people are currently reading
2190 people want to read
About the author
David Leadbeater
90 books1,104 followersInternational bestselling author of twenty one thrillers, thirteen in the Matt Drake Action/Adventure series, also The Disavowed and Alicia Myles series'. All available for the Amazon Kindle.
Website - www.davidleadbeater.com
Reader of multiple genres. Husband. Father of two beautiful girls, aged 5 and 7. Joss Whedon fan.
Website - www.davidleadbeater.com
Reader of multiple genres. Husband. Father of two beautiful girls, aged 5 and 7. Joss Whedon fan.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 333 reviews
June 25, 2019
I absolutely love the Matt Drake series, so I was looking forward to this book and it hasn't let me down. All the fast paced action, with a new set of characters. It sees master thief Guy Brodie being busted out of a Mexican prison by the CIA, to be set on the trail of a priceless artifact. But all is not easy going for Guy and his team, they're up against a nasty secret society and their vicious assassins. As the trail leads them across Europe they go about solving the clues and trying to stay one step ahead of those that try to stop them. All in all a rollicking yarn, with some great camaraderie amongst the team. I'm looking forward to getting to know these new characters in the books to come. A lot of fun!
May 21, 2018
Publishing Date: June 2018
Publisher: Amazon
ISBN:9781503902473
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 1.2/5
Publisher’s Description: Relic smuggler and expert thief Guy Bodie is a tough man in a dangerous world, loyal only to his elite team of five. But when one of them betrays him, landing Guy in a hellish Mexican prison, he finds himself making a bargain with the most unlikely new ally: the CIA.
Review: Well what to say. In short, this was terrible. Over the top story line, unbelievable events, carried out by A-Team retards is just the icing on this dog turd.
Sooo, the premise is that a group of relic smugglers gets hired by the C.I.- fuckin’ A to take down the Illuminati. Why? They stole a map that will take them to the statue of Zeus and lots of evilly power. MUAHAHAHAHA!!….(cough). Never mind what a relic hunter is as it is never really explained but just know that they are so good that special forces operators around the world use their escapades as a blueprint for infil/exfil ops.
There is no need to remember what each team member does as it is brought up almost every chapter. Cassidy, hot and brash underground bare knuckle MMA fighter, looking for that one fight that gives her a tough time. Guy Bodie (he’s so handsome) leader of this rag tag group of people that hunt ancient thingies, always calm in a storm and finding answers to predicaments that only a writer can manufacture. Add in a Planner whom, well plans and a Geek and Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Oh, and they all swear undying loyalty to Bodie because he was an orphan that stole stuff, but then felt bad and someone rich raised him and taught him the tricks of the trade…(zzzzzzzzzzzz).
This was like reading a Dan Brown novel only without the Dan or the Brown giving a fuk about a cogent assembly of story line and believable characters. The situations are absurd as are the fight scenes that are of the Crash, Boom, Bang! Batman variety. You might think with so much movement that the characters might develop into something tangible, but sadly no. They are still the same patterned buffoons you were introduced to.
So, get this if you like…..ouch, stabbing….ouch, your frikin’ eyes for betraying you with a fancy cover and a description that promises high adventure for the ultimate escape.
You can read all of my reviews, here.
Publisher: Amazon
ISBN:9781503902473
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 1.2/5
Publisher’s Description: Relic smuggler and expert thief Guy Bodie is a tough man in a dangerous world, loyal only to his elite team of five. But when one of them betrays him, landing Guy in a hellish Mexican prison, he finds himself making a bargain with the most unlikely new ally: the CIA.
Review: Well what to say. In short, this was terrible. Over the top story line, unbelievable events, carried out by A-Team retards is just the icing on this dog turd.
Sooo, the premise is that a group of relic smugglers gets hired by the C.I.- fuckin’ A to take down the Illuminati. Why? They stole a map that will take them to the statue of Zeus and lots of evilly power. MUAHAHAHAHA!!….(cough). Never mind what a relic hunter is as it is never really explained but just know that they are so good that special forces operators around the world use their escapades as a blueprint for infil/exfil ops.
There is no need to remember what each team member does as it is brought up almost every chapter. Cassidy, hot and brash underground bare knuckle MMA fighter, looking for that one fight that gives her a tough time. Guy Bodie (he’s so handsome) leader of this rag tag group of people that hunt ancient thingies, always calm in a storm and finding answers to predicaments that only a writer can manufacture. Add in a Planner whom, well plans and a Geek and Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Oh, and they all swear undying loyalty to Bodie because he was an orphan that stole stuff, but then felt bad and someone rich raised him and taught him the tricks of the trade…(zzzzzzzzzzzz).
This was like reading a Dan Brown novel only without the Dan or the Brown giving a fuk about a cogent assembly of story line and believable characters. The situations are absurd as are the fight scenes that are of the Crash, Boom, Bang! Batman variety. You might think with so much movement that the characters might develop into something tangible, but sadly no. They are still the same patterned buffoons you were introduced to.
So, get this if you like…..ouch, stabbing….ouch, your frikin’ eyes for betraying you with a fancy cover and a description that promises high adventure for the ultimate escape.
You can read all of my reviews, here.
September 6, 2017
I'm really struggling to finish this book, I feel I HAVE to coz I paid good money for it but urghhh.
By the third or fourth time the characters had their roles/special skills spelled out AGAIN I nearly threw my Kindle out of the window. A planner that plans, a fighter that fights, a geek that geeks. WE GET IT. We got it five chapters ago.
Normally I'm a fan of this over-the-top, motley crew adventure style but ... it's just not very good.
By the third or fourth time the characters had their roles/special skills spelled out AGAIN I nearly threw my Kindle out of the window. A planner that plans, a fighter that fights, a geek that geeks. WE GET IT. We got it five chapters ago.
Normally I'm a fan of this over-the-top, motley crew adventure style but ... it's just not very good.
July 12, 2022
This was a lot of fun. It was full of conspiracy, action, thievery, CIA, and adventure. Thoroughly enjoyed.
December 20, 2017
I wish I had not read this book. It is missing something, I ended up skimming much of the ever-expanding series of too-convenient escapes and empty character arcs. It left me unsatisfied and slightly regretful, like gorging on popcorn for dinner.
December 12, 2018
It was a solid start to series of books in the action/alternative archaeology genre. It did however just feel like an introduction to the characters at points. There was too much unnecessary chat, seemingly to set up books that have yet to come. That said, David Leadbeater is a good action writer and I will read on (now I know the characters) and purchase the next book in the series.
August 15, 2017
First book I have read by this author, and I could not quite finish it. It lacked something for me and after 3 days of slogging my way through this book I finally gave up. Usually takes a couple of hours to read a book of this lengths, but I just couldn't get into this story, which was upsetting because it sounded like one that I would like, but it fell flat for me.
September 22, 2017
I decided to read this book when I learned that it had received the first Amazon Kindle Storyteller award for self-published books. I like thrillers, but this is not my kind of book. The plot, the characters and storyline is just too simplistic and unbelievable. And there is just too much of everything here: lost ancient wonders, CIA agents, secret societies, hidden passageways, predator drone attacks, terrorist attacks and constant fighting between our heroes and the villains. The writing as such is actually pretty good, but it is the kind of book were people move with "lightning speed" and where they "strike like a snake".
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 7, 2023
The plot had an over the top pulp fiction kind of potential. But the characters just didn’t interest me. The fact that the writer had to keep repeating what everyone’s function in the group was and who they were instead of showing it didn’t really help. And the writing style just killed any enjoyment I had left. I struggled to finish this book.
June 1, 2018
Confusing. Boring. Characters that are supposed to be a tight group, but keep harping to each other. The umpteenth book about the Illuminati. Need I say more?
July 1, 2018
This was a very good book about a “family” of relic smugglers, Bodie, Cassidy, Sam, Cross and Jemma, along with CIA agent Heidi Moneymaker are going after a “hood” that stole a map from a museum in Athens for the Illuminati and ended up blowing up the museum and killing and injuring a lot of people. The “hoods” are a large group of bad guys that were trained to kill and do whatever their “master” says.
After getting Bodie, the leader of the smugglers, out of a Mexican prison, just as he was about to be killed, Heidi and the group got busy trying to find the “hood” that was going to steal the map. From there it was an exciting book until the very end. Some reviewers hated it and some only liked it but I really liked it. BUT like most male authors they describe everything and not the players, unless they have something special going on, like Cassidy. She’s beautiful, an ex-actress, ex-streetfighter and ex-cage fighter and she can kick some ass. I like that in my female MC’s. Oh, and she had red hair.
The guy who had Bodie imprisoned had been a mentor and friend of Bodie’s but the end of this story was him telling Heidi they were going after Jack before they took any job for the CIA. And, the end. Not a cliffhanger but the opening to the next book, due out September 6.
There was nothing sexual in this book and the F-bomb was used 42 times.
As to the narration: I guess because Pete Simonelli (aka Sebastian York) figures women are cray-cray about his deep sexy voice he doesn’t need to do anything but read the book, and that’s a shame.
This was a free read and free listen that was released in May of 2017.
January 14, 2020
This is like a bad satire version of a Dan Brown book. An action/thriller written at a middle-school level of character and scenery development.
The beginning was good but the characters never developed, the enemy’s plan never made sense and the endless clarification and repetition of fighters, geeks and relic hunters did not help.
With not even a basic knowledge of technology, trying to claim a raspberry pi-like device could hack anything and using at best 1990s style technology it was a snooze fest. Do some basic research beyond what a credit card reader would have before wireless chips were common place.
This book read like a rough draft and needed editing. I only read it as part of Prime Reading but this was a major disappointment.
The beginning was good but the characters never developed, the enemy’s plan never made sense and the endless clarification and repetition of fighters, geeks and relic hunters did not help.
With not even a basic knowledge of technology, trying to claim a raspberry pi-like device could hack anything and using at best 1990s style technology it was a snooze fest. Do some basic research beyond what a credit card reader would have before wireless chips were common place.
This book read like a rough draft and needed editing. I only read it as part of Prime Reading but this was a major disappointment.
July 5, 2017
A great start to what I hop will be a new series. Relic Hunters is in the same vein as the Matt Drake books but thats where it ends, this time we have a miss fit team of professional thieves coerced into helping the government with alarming consequences. I agree with some of the other reviewers re more actual relic hunting but hopefully that will increase in future novels. The characters are interesting and seem to be developing nicely (I did detect some similarities between Alicia and Cassidy which I enjoyed) Keep up the great work David another success on your hands I believe. Maybe some origin stories (Novellas) would be nice so we can learn more about Bodie and co.
September 18, 2018
Based upon the title and synopsis, this could be a fast-paced, fun read. However...it isn't at all. The plot is ridiculous AND uninteresting. Nothing new and way too much of it. Like a double sized serving of your Aunt Betty's special broccoli surprise casserole with cheese on top (lots of cheese). It has broccoli in it--surprise!!
The characters are selected from a menu of traditional hackneyed characters and nothing is done with them. I care not a fig about any of them and if they had all died....eh. They're dead to me now, Mr. Author. Too bad you didn't do a better job.
I love his optimism though...book #1 in a series. Uh....someone else can read the rest. I'm done.
The characters are selected from a menu of traditional hackneyed characters and nothing is done with them. I care not a fig about any of them and if they had all died....eh. They're dead to me now, Mr. Author. Too bad you didn't do a better job.
I love his optimism though...book #1 in a series. Uh....someone else can read the rest. I'm done.
August 20, 2017
I only read this because it won the Amazon prize; this style of fiction I wouldn't normally pick up. Hence, personally I didn't like it but have to admire the efficient narrative thrust & tension building. Characterisation is sketchy, I gave up trying to differentiate the team of heroes. There was too much gratuitous violence for my tastes, and the story is a gruesome concoction of Illuminati (mostly clichéd) thrills and spills. But well written & if you enjoy this kind of thing an entertaining and undemanding read.
March 10, 2019
This book was painful to read. Each character’s personality and specific traits are spelled out for you over and over and over again. On top of that it is hammered home that they are a super strong, bonded family unit who act as one. However, at the same time they have no knowledge of each other’s background or history so that is also explained in boring detail. Even my Grade 10 class know that showing is much better than telling in a story... someone should explain that to Dave.
January 3, 2020
This is not my type of book. It reminds me of Clive Cussler books. First of all, this book has the Illuminati which makes me roll my eyes. The main character is almost super human and gets out of everything. The dialogue can be cheesy at times. But if you like action movies and books with amazing leads then you may like this. For me, I will pass on reading the series. But it was at least entertaining which makes it better than 1 star.
August 19, 2017
Nice summer read
Enjoyed the equal mix of male and female characters. Quick pace nice afternoon read on the deck or by the pool
Enjoyed the equal mix of male and female characters. Quick pace nice afternoon read on the deck or by the pool
Read
July 3, 2018DNF at 37%. I didn't like the writing, but I thought maybe the plot would carry me along anyway, but nope. This was just not for me.
December 19, 2024
I was on the hunt for more "treasure hunting" stories (other than Clive Cussler) and ran across this series in a list on a Reddit forum. Thought I might as well give it a try. I got it on audio book, and the narrator was solid - although it took me embarrassingly way too long to figure out he was trying to do a British accent for Bodie. 😂😅
I have at least the next three available on audio for me, so I'm going to see where this leads. It didn't really scratch that treasure hunting itch, though. The group of friends, or found family, was fine. The majority of the jokes between them were either picking on Gunn (mainly by Cassidy) or about Cassidy and Cross being "old." It was a repetitive banter that didn't really show me how the characters interacted very well, in my opinion. I think there's a lot of domestic things one can include in a found family to make it more relatable. I did roll my eyes at one scene where Cassidy starts chattering away about her life and the group "stayed quiet to listen because they barely get info on her but when they do, it's something not expected". 🙄 That girl was yapping the whole time and definitely had "one of the guys" energy or even "pick me". She was clearly written more as fan service to the male side - I found her rather annoying at times, and she seems to be the only "brute" of the team. With the beginning and how her personality was written from the start, I a) thought she was 20 yrs old max and b) going to be more of a second main character than she really was. I think for their ages they're supposed to be, some of the characters were written in a way that made me think they were way younger - mostly due to their maturity and thought process on serious situations. So when the first "you're old" banter started, I was kind of surprised to see this was a found family story of grown adults. I for sure felt like the intro with Cassidy was a twenty-year-old with anger management issues looking for her father-figure.
It took me a while to get into the plot line just because as soon as they mentioned the Illuminati, my eyes... sort of glazed over. And maybe that's why the story didn't scratch that itch for me. It became more action themed and about the CIA vs. Illuminati plot line that I sort of forgot they were looking for a relic at certain points.
I'll still gladly listen to the next 2 while they're available to me. I think the first book in a series isn't necessarily the "first impression" when it's filled with so many characters because, at that point, even the author may not know them very well yet. Some characters just write themselves sometimes. I know my last big series I read it wasn't until about the fourth book that all the characters clicked for me personally. I see this one being no different, really, because there are so many more characters to get to know other than just Bodie and Cassidy, and this universe of theirs is a big one.
3.5 🌟 🌟 🌟
I have at least the next three available on audio for me, so I'm going to see where this leads. It didn't really scratch that treasure hunting itch, though. The group of friends, or found family, was fine. The majority of the jokes between them were either picking on Gunn (mainly by Cassidy) or about Cassidy and Cross being "old." It was a repetitive banter that didn't really show me how the characters interacted very well, in my opinion. I think there's a lot of domestic things one can include in a found family to make it more relatable. I did roll my eyes at one scene where Cassidy starts chattering away about her life and the group "stayed quiet to listen because they barely get info on her but when they do, it's something not expected". 🙄 That girl was yapping the whole time and definitely had "one of the guys" energy or even "pick me". She was clearly written more as fan service to the male side - I found her rather annoying at times, and she seems to be the only "brute" of the team. With the beginning and how her personality was written from the start, I a) thought she was 20 yrs old max and b) going to be more of a second main character than she really was. I think for their ages they're supposed to be, some of the characters were written in a way that made me think they were way younger - mostly due to their maturity and thought process on serious situations. So when the first "you're old" banter started, I was kind of surprised to see this was a found family story of grown adults. I for sure felt like the intro with Cassidy was a twenty-year-old with anger management issues looking for her father-figure.
It took me a while to get into the plot line just because as soon as they mentioned the Illuminati, my eyes... sort of glazed over. And maybe that's why the story didn't scratch that itch for me. It became more action themed and about the CIA vs. Illuminati plot line that I sort of forgot they were looking for a relic at certain points.
I'll still gladly listen to the next 2 while they're available to me. I think the first book in a series isn't necessarily the "first impression" when it's filled with so many characters because, at that point, even the author may not know them very well yet. Some characters just write themselves sometimes. I know my last big series I read it wasn't until about the fourth book that all the characters clicked for me personally. I see this one being no different, really, because there are so many more characters to get to know other than just Bodie and Cassidy, and this universe of theirs is a big one.
3.5 🌟 🌟 🌟
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 12, 2019
In David Leadbeater's The Relic Hunters, the first installment in the Relic Hunters action thriller series, this debut would take you around the world and beyond. For Guy Bodie, he was nothing but a thief, a pretty good one too, when someone kidnapped him and sent him to a Mexican prison to die. Left to fend for himself against other two-bit criminals, he couldn't stop to wonder and ask himself why. While he was in jail, it took a tie of other common thieves to help bail him out and tell him who had set him up. The answer had hit him closer to home. That's when they met Agent Heidi Moneymaker from the CIA, who has a job for them to do. They needed to protect the Statue of Zeus in Greece. Meanwhile, there's a ruthless Hood named Xavier von Gothe, who's the leader of an evil Illuminati group, that has ties to freemasonry and perhaps to the Devil himself. And he had planned to get to the statue by leaving a serial crime spree in its wake, people who might be connected to him. As Guy and his team learn more about the Illuminati group, they would need to find out a plan and stop them in its tracks before it might be too late for a final showdown of good vs. evil on solid ground.
December 18, 2020
Good grief, David Leadbeater is a terrible writer, and this sad attempt at Dan Brown fanfic is a dreadful book. The thing Leadbetter is worst at is dialogue, which is unfortunate because THERE IS SO MUCH pointless, artificial, banal, unrealistic repartee. The characters are so fully cardboard that you’d want to be sure to keep them away from open flames, and the final pages — an extended “fight” scene — will make any sensible reader giggle for its awful awkwardness and awkward awfulness. Apparently the series totters on; happily, it will do so without me.
October 18, 2022
I had just got myself into the Kindle Unlimited program for the first time and this was one of the earliest books that I read and also the first book for me by Leadbeater.
Around 3 stars rather than 4 but this is a good start to a new series.
The story features a collusion between the thieves and the agency with the former coerced into working for the CIA.
The action like most of Leadbeater's books is wild and over the top with lot of ribbing between the team mates and their handler. The story moves at a brisk pace and the archaeological intrigue adds a nice blend to the story. The characters especially the thieves with ethics are interesting although some give the feeling of similarity with the characters of the author's other books. The action sequences are lavish and very much movie style which means the reader can visualize a huge canvas.
Around 3 stars rather than 4 but this is a good start to a new series.
The story features a collusion between the thieves and the agency with the former coerced into working for the CIA.
The action like most of Leadbeater's books is wild and over the top with lot of ribbing between the team mates and their handler. The story moves at a brisk pace and the archaeological intrigue adds a nice blend to the story. The characters especially the thieves with ethics are interesting although some give the feeling of similarity with the characters of the author's other books. The action sequences are lavish and very much movie style which means the reader can visualize a huge canvas.
January 14, 2021
Jersey Shore Relic Hunters
This is a seriously dumb book about a bunch of seriously dumb people following a seriously dumb plot. Explosions aplenty do not add sense. Stay away, burn before reading.
This is a seriously dumb book about a bunch of seriously dumb people following a seriously dumb plot. Explosions aplenty do not add sense. Stay away, burn before reading.
October 22, 2021
Bodie and his merry band of thieves are perfect for fans of cinematic, escapist adventure. The action scenes were fantastic!
September 13, 2024
A really good popcorn movie type of book!
August 9, 2017
Entertaining, but
I thought that the so called witty, snide remarks were over used, and especially in life/death situations. A four letter sexual word was inappropriate and other words would have carried the same meaning. The story line was interesting and had intensity and intrigue. characterization and editing could be improved.
I thought that the so called witty, snide remarks were over used, and especially in life/death situations. A four letter sexual word was inappropriate and other words would have carried the same meaning. The story line was interesting and had intensity and intrigue. characterization and editing could be improved.
April 10, 2025
I want to be fair to this one, because I listened to the audiobook while taking my evening walks, and the weather in Texas this year is such that sometimes you get a balmy 70 degrees and sometimes it's down to 50 or 40, so I wasn't listening to this super-consistently. So if you think I didn't give this a fair hearing, okay. I can understand that. But I'm pretty sure at the end, the heroes fly a helicopter from Europe to America and helicopters can't fly that far. Even I know that. You need a lot of fuel to make that trip because it's around three thousand miles, which is why we have aircraft carriers to ferry small aircraft like helicopters and jets to where they need to go.
I'm sorry, that just bugged me.
As well did the story itself, which is just a mess, and I found the structure nearly offensive in its... rawness. This feels like a bunch of tropes taken from other stories and just crammed together with no awareness of how they should fit into a pleasing, cohesive whole.
So we start off with the Illuminati, the bad guys, who are so cartoonishly evil that they literally worship the Devil. There's some noise about how they're manipulating society for the greater good from the shadows, but really, they exist to be evil and do evil things, no nuance whatsoever. More Simpsons!
There's this map that leads to this Statue of Zeus. The Statue of Zeus doesn't do anything... sorry, but I hate when these Tomb Raider things have artifacts like that. Fuck you, Uncharted 4, have a monster!... but it leads to the Illuminati's headquarters which they haven't moved in 400 years or whatever. So the Illuminati grab the map and they don't destroy it, for some reason, but they have a terrorist attack to cover up that they steal the map. Which seems like it's guaranteed to get far more scrutiny on your misdeed than just stealing from a museum. Or even stealing a bunch of stuff so it's not clear that you wanted any one thing in particular.
Spoiler: by the end, the Illuminati are saying they didn't know that the map led to their headquarters, or that it led to the Statue of Zeus and that they HAD the Statue of Zeus, which begs the question of why they wanted the map so bad, or how they could forget they had the Statue of Zeus. I know I'm going to say I should've paid more attention, but if this is a silly adventure story, should it need that much attention paid to it? Honestly...
Moving on. Ridiculously named hero Guy Bodie is in Mexican prison. He's in charge of a team of superthieves who steal from the rich and give to someone or other. They're already basically a found family and all love each other and are endlessly loyal to Guy Bodie (snicker). Which seems like a case of telling and not showing to me, but what do I know? They all tend to blur together into generic tough-guy dialogue and even more generic banter, but I'll try to recall them from memory.
Cassidy is the muscle, despite being a girl. Okay, fine, this is a silly adventure story, anything goes.
Cross is the old guy--I can't be more specific than that.
Gunn is the computer nerd.
Donna (note from future me: Sorry, Gemma) makes the plans, which would seem to make her the leader, but I don't think she is, it's Guy Bodie.
They also recruit Jeff, this archaeologist guy, because... we'll get to that.
Now you'd think from this being a silly adventure story that Guy Bodie being in Mexican prison for ten days (TEN DAYS!!!) while he waits for his team to save him would be par for the course. I mean, that would happen to the A-Team or Sam Beckett on a weekly basis, right? But the book bizarrely plays it like he's traumatized from this? He gets all snippy with his friends for not saving him sooner and he's determined to get revenge on his evil mentor for putting him in Mexican jail (I guess the team has both an old guy and a mentor, which seems excessive). This never comes up except as sequel bait, so imagine if Raiders of the Lost Ark was filled with references to Indy's estranged relationship with his dad EVEN THOUGH IT NEVER COMES UP UNTIL THE SEQUEL--
Bugs me.
CIA agent Heidi Moneymaker (NO. REALLY.) gets Guy Bodie (still really) released from jail so his team will work for her to find the Illuminati and the map and the Statue of Zeus. Which they can do, because they're kinda sorta archaeologists in addition to being thieves and commandos and all-purpose spies.
They accept surprisingly easily, just because the Illuminati are evil pricks who do terrorist attacks, and it really seems like there should be more conflict here, doesn't it? Like she's forcing them to work for her on pain of imprisonment or there's some personal reason for them to go after the Illuminati... no. It's just that they're all really nice people (despite being notorious criminals) and they really strongly object to terrorists.
So they basically do everything BUT infiltrate secure locations and steal shit, which you'd think would be the only reason the CIA would want to work with notorious criminals. They start with leading a manhunt--because the CIA can't do that--and then they have to, you know, follow the clues and find the plot coupons and eventually get to the climax.
It's not the fun, Indiana Jones kind of archaeology where you swing across spiky pits, but the Da Vinci Code kind where you basically have to win a trivia contest to progress. "Ah-ha, Winston Churchill was butt buddies with Benjamin Franklin and they were both visiting Frankfurt in 1932 and so Franklin must've given the MacGuffin to Churchill, who hid it in this tourist trap where no one else found it for hundreds of years until we came by and thought to look under this paperweight!"
They never come across a skeleton, even. Or maybe they do. Spiritually, there are no human skeletons.
There's a lot of fights and chases, but not really any of the memorable setpieces you associate with all the stories this book is trying to ape, like Uncharted or Indiana Jones. It's just punching and shooting and running around. Guy Bodie has UST with Heidi Moneymaker, which seems like a likely thing to happen in a book like this. And the whole thing ends threatening a sequel where the heroes continue doing relic-related work for the CIA. (There's ten books in the series, so clearly that must come up more than you'd expect.)
I don't know, it all feels like starting a TV show six seasons in or so, when all the really clever ideas have been exhausted and they decide to do a soft reboot to get audiences interested again. Why start the story with the characters almost all knowing each other? Why not actually introduce them so they bond as the story progresses? Where can there possibly be for their character arcs to go if they're all already noble, kindhearted thieves in a found family crew? It just mystifies me. It feels like someone told the author "Found family is big, you should put that trope in your book" and him having no idea how to make that meaningful. Because when you just say a bunch of people are family when they're so haphazardly introduced that they mostly blur together--it's just noise. It's not important.
I'm sorry, that just bugged me.
As well did the story itself, which is just a mess, and I found the structure nearly offensive in its... rawness. This feels like a bunch of tropes taken from other stories and just crammed together with no awareness of how they should fit into a pleasing, cohesive whole.
So we start off with the Illuminati, the bad guys, who are so cartoonishly evil that they literally worship the Devil. There's some noise about how they're manipulating society for the greater good from the shadows, but really, they exist to be evil and do evil things, no nuance whatsoever. More Simpsons!
There's this map that leads to this Statue of Zeus. The Statue of Zeus doesn't do anything... sorry, but I hate when these Tomb Raider things have artifacts like that. Fuck you, Uncharted 4, have a monster!... but it leads to the Illuminati's headquarters which they haven't moved in 400 years or whatever. So the Illuminati grab the map and they don't destroy it, for some reason, but they have a terrorist attack to cover up that they steal the map. Which seems like it's guaranteed to get far more scrutiny on your misdeed than just stealing from a museum. Or even stealing a bunch of stuff so it's not clear that you wanted any one thing in particular.
Spoiler: by the end, the Illuminati are saying they didn't know that the map led to their headquarters, or that it led to the Statue of Zeus and that they HAD the Statue of Zeus, which begs the question of why they wanted the map so bad, or how they could forget they had the Statue of Zeus. I know I'm going to say I should've paid more attention, but if this is a silly adventure story, should it need that much attention paid to it? Honestly...
Moving on. Ridiculously named hero Guy Bodie is in Mexican prison. He's in charge of a team of superthieves who steal from the rich and give to someone or other. They're already basically a found family and all love each other and are endlessly loyal to Guy Bodie (snicker). Which seems like a case of telling and not showing to me, but what do I know? They all tend to blur together into generic tough-guy dialogue and even more generic banter, but I'll try to recall them from memory.
Cassidy is the muscle, despite being a girl. Okay, fine, this is a silly adventure story, anything goes.
Cross is the old guy--I can't be more specific than that.
Gunn is the computer nerd.
Donna (note from future me: Sorry, Gemma) makes the plans, which would seem to make her the leader, but I don't think she is, it's Guy Bodie.
They also recruit Jeff, this archaeologist guy, because... we'll get to that.
Now you'd think from this being a silly adventure story that Guy Bodie being in Mexican prison for ten days (TEN DAYS!!!) while he waits for his team to save him would be par for the course. I mean, that would happen to the A-Team or Sam Beckett on a weekly basis, right? But the book bizarrely plays it like he's traumatized from this? He gets all snippy with his friends for not saving him sooner and he's determined to get revenge on his evil mentor for putting him in Mexican jail (I guess the team has both an old guy and a mentor, which seems excessive). This never comes up except as sequel bait, so imagine if Raiders of the Lost Ark was filled with references to Indy's estranged relationship with his dad EVEN THOUGH IT NEVER COMES UP UNTIL THE SEQUEL--
Bugs me.
CIA agent Heidi Moneymaker (NO. REALLY.) gets Guy Bodie (still really) released from jail so his team will work for her to find the Illuminati and the map and the Statue of Zeus. Which they can do, because they're kinda sorta archaeologists in addition to being thieves and commandos and all-purpose spies.
They accept surprisingly easily, just because the Illuminati are evil pricks who do terrorist attacks, and it really seems like there should be more conflict here, doesn't it? Like she's forcing them to work for her on pain of imprisonment or there's some personal reason for them to go after the Illuminati... no. It's just that they're all really nice people (despite being notorious criminals) and they really strongly object to terrorists.
So they basically do everything BUT infiltrate secure locations and steal shit, which you'd think would be the only reason the CIA would want to work with notorious criminals. They start with leading a manhunt--because the CIA can't do that--and then they have to, you know, follow the clues and find the plot coupons and eventually get to the climax.
It's not the fun, Indiana Jones kind of archaeology where you swing across spiky pits, but the Da Vinci Code kind where you basically have to win a trivia contest to progress. "Ah-ha, Winston Churchill was butt buddies with Benjamin Franklin and they were both visiting Frankfurt in 1932 and so Franklin must've given the MacGuffin to Churchill, who hid it in this tourist trap where no one else found it for hundreds of years until we came by and thought to look under this paperweight!"
They never come across a skeleton, even. Or maybe they do. Spiritually, there are no human skeletons.
There's a lot of fights and chases, but not really any of the memorable setpieces you associate with all the stories this book is trying to ape, like Uncharted or Indiana Jones. It's just punching and shooting and running around. Guy Bodie has UST with Heidi Moneymaker, which seems like a likely thing to happen in a book like this. And the whole thing ends threatening a sequel where the heroes continue doing relic-related work for the CIA. (There's ten books in the series, so clearly that must come up more than you'd expect.)
I don't know, it all feels like starting a TV show six seasons in or so, when all the really clever ideas have been exhausted and they decide to do a soft reboot to get audiences interested again. Why start the story with the characters almost all knowing each other? Why not actually introduce them so they bond as the story progresses? Where can there possibly be for their character arcs to go if they're all already noble, kindhearted thieves in a found family crew? It just mystifies me. It feels like someone told the author "Found family is big, you should put that trope in your book" and him having no idea how to make that meaningful. Because when you just say a bunch of people are family when they're so haphazardly introduced that they mostly blur together--it's just noise. It's not important.
July 23, 2018
Oh dear,
This is positively the last time I fall for a suggestion based on my reading history from Amazon.
For a start, rather than developing characters in the time honoured tradition, the author chooses to reprise their CV at various points to remind just how bad ass they are. I would suggest to any budding authors that this isn't the way forward for story telling.
There are so many glaring problems with the story it is almost embarrassing.
A team of criminals (think A team but with sophistication) capable of stealing pretty much anything they turn their mind to are actually so obvious that the CIA know exactly where all of them are at any point.
You may wonder why their stellar criminal career hadn't been cut short before it turned out the world needed saving by them
But I'll move on,
How about a main character getting beaten to just about dead only to be jumping off buildings a few hours later? Happens a lot I guess but again I'll move on.
How about a servant of ultimate evil going destroying hundreds of lives, then at the next opportunity destroyed tens of lives and the Z Team still want to ask him to play nice? Did I mention the had Glocks. Glocks sort evil out pretty easily but where is the fun in that?
Well for me, that was where the fun ended. There was no way this book would resolve in a satisfactory manner.
Not only that but the dialogue was direlogue (if you groaned at that you will hate the book)
There is nothing right about this book, it is truly awful.
The only redeeming factor in all of this is that Goodreads allows me to put my rant on their site.
This is positively the last time I fall for a suggestion based on my reading history from Amazon.
For a start, rather than developing characters in the time honoured tradition, the author chooses to reprise their CV at various points to remind just how bad ass they are. I would suggest to any budding authors that this isn't the way forward for story telling.
There are so many glaring problems with the story it is almost embarrassing.
A team of criminals (think A team but with sophistication) capable of stealing pretty much anything they turn their mind to are actually so obvious that the CIA know exactly where all of them are at any point.
You may wonder why their stellar criminal career hadn't been cut short before it turned out the world needed saving by them
But I'll move on,
How about a main character getting beaten to just about dead only to be jumping off buildings a few hours later? Happens a lot I guess but again I'll move on.
How about a servant of ultimate evil going destroying hundreds of lives, then at the next opportunity destroyed tens of lives and the Z Team still want to ask him to play nice? Did I mention the had Glocks. Glocks sort evil out pretty easily but where is the fun in that?
Well for me, that was where the fun ended. There was no way this book would resolve in a satisfactory manner.
Not only that but the dialogue was direlogue (if you groaned at that you will hate the book)
There is nothing right about this book, it is truly awful.
The only redeeming factor in all of this is that Goodreads allows me to put my rant on their site.
October 11, 2018
Characters are Way Too Hokey and Contrived
I only managed to make it one-third of the way through this book before I had to give up on it, which is somewhat of a rarity for me. Besides the plot being more than a bit remote from reality, I just could not stomach the cheesy dialogue between the characters. I wanted to like it, but I guess I'm too rooted in what is plausible to like this type of fantastical fiction.
I only managed to make it one-third of the way through this book before I had to give up on it, which is somewhat of a rarity for me. Besides the plot being more than a bit remote from reality, I just could not stomach the cheesy dialogue between the characters. I wanted to like it, but I guess I'm too rooted in what is plausible to like this type of fantastical fiction.
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