The Art of Parenting: Aiming Your Child's Heart toward God

by Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey

BACK
Parenting is an exciting adventure, full of twists and turns. But sometimes it feels like you don't know where you're headed, or you're just making in up as you go along. How do you get where you want to be without having a plan in place?

Dennis and Barbara Rainey have spent decades teaching on the foundations necessary for building godly families. Now they share the insights and expertise gleaned from those years of ministry, as well as stories and teaching from their own children about the challenges of parenting today. The Art of Parenting focuses your attention on four crucial elements in your children's lives:
1. Relationships--fostering godly connections with others
2. Character--learning to live wisely and honorably
3. Identity--understanding who they are in Christ
4. Mission--understanding why they are here

When you apply biblical truths in these four areas, you can feel confident your children will have a foundation they can build upon for the rest of their lives.

INSIDE FLAP:
From our observations and experience it seems that most parents today have three basic goals for their children:
We want our children to be safe.
We want them to be happy.
We want them to be successful.

But how do we achieve those goals? You only have so much control as a parent. No matter how much you protect your children, they will still be touched by danger, by injury, by sickness. You can give them happy moments and memories, but you can't prevent them from experiencing sadness or fear or disappointment. You can help them build useful skills and a strong work ethic, but at some point they will leave home and make their own choices; you won't be able to control the outcomes. That's why passing on a living faith is so important.

In fact, when they are closely connected to God, safety and happiness and success will look different, because God defines them differently than our culture does. And we guarantee that there is nothing more satisfying than watching your children grow into adults and work through everything life throws at them when you know at their core they walk with God. As 3 John 4 says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Faith, Christian, Audiobook

256 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 2018

About the author

Dennis Rainey is president and CEO of FamilyLife, a division of Cru. Dennis and his wife, Barbara, have spoken at Weekend to Remember conferences around the world. Dennis serves as the daily host of the radio program "FamilyLife Today". He and Barbara have authored more than two dozen books, including the bestselling "Moments Together for Intimacy" and" Moments Together for Couples". The Raineys have six children and nineteen grandchildren.

Reviews

[Deon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for new parents, and good refreshers for seasoned parents. Also, this book contains some Blended-Family wisdom.

The goal is to tirelessly teach, train, and pray that God will change their hearts.

Your children’s character will define their lives—it will affect their commitments to marriage, family, and career. It will govern their choices and determine what legacy they will leave to their children.

Even though your children will try to make you feel like the meanest parent, correcting and giving discipline is the most loving thing, the most courageous thing, perhaps the most effective thing you will ever do for your children.



Note:

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is excellent parenting book! I wish I had read this years ago!!

This book is FULL of practical advice backed by not just life experience but, more importantly, scripture.

The authors tackle everything: the toddler years, raising a tween, the teen years, tough topics such as gender identity, sex, smart phone usage, learning to let go, and shaping your children to have a heart for God. Every topic they cover points back to the main thing: raising children who serve God above all else.

I've been searching for Bible centered help for raising tweens and teens. I've searched through the Bible, and it is certainly the greatest resource, listened to parenting sermons, read articles, and talked to older parents. This book was very easy to understand and clearly laid out. A valuable resource, indeed.

This book offers solid advice for single parents, step parents, and co parenting with an unbeliever after divorce. It's very comprehensive.

I'll definitely buy this book and read it again and again.

*As with any book that is not the Bible, I didn't agree with every word, but it was pretty solid as a whole.

[Abbi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is PACKED with Biblical wisdom on parenting in all of the seasons of life! So much truth, that I usually could only read a few pages at a time in order to process and implement what I read. Truly almost a complete anthology on Christian parenting. I had no idea that by the time I finished reading the last chapter (“Releasing Your Arrows”) we would have already released one of our own. Highly recommended for all current and future parents!

[Justin Dela Cruz · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the biggest responsibilities (and challenges 😫) I have right now is how to best parent my kids (and I’m sure that will always be the case!) But what about instead of just winging it based on how I’m feeling each day, what if I had an intentional biblical game-plan for parenting? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

This book offers a perspective of how to apply biblical principles to parenting with lots of practical examples and vignettes. Though you may not agree with everything the authors write, they do a good job of sharing their experience and insight into hard things like building character, discipline, sexuality, and even spanking. If you have a pre-teen or teen, the chapter on smartphones might be the most helpful practical parenting thing you’ll read all year.

I appreciated their explanation and encouragement of making your home a spiritual greenhouse. It starts with me, and more is caught than taught.

“Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts.

⭐️ Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. ⭐️

Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” Deuteronomy‬ ‭6:5-8 ‭MSG‬‬

[Jolanthe Erb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dennis and Barbara Rainey have such a relatable style and insight. Their years of parenting advice, combined with excerpts from their grown children and others, are presented in this easy read - and one that will leave you with great resources. No judgement - just honesty and sound advice. Love that this book includes wisdom for blended families as well.

[Carrie Frantz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for Christian parents. Practical advice, from years of experience, backed by Biblical truth guide parents to discern how they are to raise children in a way to honor and glorify God.

[Samuel Sieja · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Rainey's have done a splendid job at looking at very difficult subjects in regards to parenting in our generation. The things we have had to handle as parents today that our parents never had to deal with is shocking! The Rainey's share with the reader the difficulties they had in child rearing, they never admit that their ways are perfect, but they give sound wisdom in how to seek God's wisdom in all aspects of bringing up children today. They address our children's identity: emotional, spiritual, and sexual. They look at screen time, discipline, building character and Mission. They share personal testimonies to how they addressed issues in their time, and how having a Godly perspective has not changed, even though our culture has. They do not pull punches, they understand we might not agree on all things, but encourage keeping an open mind, and always going before God for direction in all things, not matter how trivial they may seem to us. There is also a video series with the same title that has even more material to help guide you and help us ask those tough questions, and seek support and answers.
All in all, a great resource for all parents at any stage of life!

[Chris Wofford]

There was a lot of helpful information in this book. I have read several parenting books that are Biblically based. There was not a lot of new information in this book compared to other Biblically based parenting books. What was new were the examples that were given. The emphasis for a Christian raising children is teaching them about God, about loving God and others, and preparing them to go out on their own. Every parent has faced the same and different struggles. This gave examples of different struggles and I saw the way that Dennis and Barbara and their children had handled these. It gave me ideas of what to expect and how to handle these struggles. The book also reminded me and challenged me that parenting is work. I need to have a plan, I need to have an idea of where I am going, and I need to keep that in mind more days than not as a minimum. If you have read other Biblically based parenting books, this is still good. If you have not, this is a good place to start.

[Lauren Terwilliger · Rating 5 out of 5]

So inspired by this book! It’s the Christian parenting book I’ve been looking for with Biblically based wisdom in a framework that can be used with raising kids in the current generation. It was helpful in assessing the things we’ve already started doing with our kids to lay a Biblical foundation in their upbringing and also gave us ideas to add to our toolkit as they continue to grow (future conversations to have, relationship goals, etc.)

I especially loved the embassy example of how we can create homes that reflect the kingdom of God, expanding the idea of being Christ’s ambassadors outside of the home.

Great food for thought!

[Andrew Wolgemuth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid, thorough, foundational parenting book from godly, wise, experienced parents and leaders. This will be my go-to suggestion for new parents, as well as for those of us who need refreshing encouragement and reminders about what we aim to do in parenting and how we can do it.

(full disclosure: the literary agency I work for represents Dennis and Barbara)

[Ezechel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty in-depth, compresenhive book as far as parenting books go (probably longer than most), covers all stages of childhood, and all areas of concern. It speaks in a few different voices, and I personally don't like that, but it will probably connect better with some readers to hear a mother's and a father's point of view on the same issue, or 2 generations speaking on an evolving problem.

[Tim Franks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did this DVD Series with our church's Adult Sunday school class a year or so ago. The book gives more depth and information behind that series. Really strong stuff and a biblical way of parenting that is centered on grace and mercy from the Gospel as its driving force. Really would highly recommend for parents to read this work on parenting and pass along to others you know.

[Logan Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read! Lots of insights and real world examples of parenting advice. I like that they refer to the Bible and Jesus without forcing it upon you. They more ask you if you want to live that way and how to best realize it. Strongly recommend for anyone who is or will be a parent and is on the fence with faith.

[Mark Dunker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tripp's book, "Parenting," is still my go-to, but there are some good thoughts here.

There are a number of things I disagreed with, but the major issue is that the Raineys' kids are "perfect." The examples and suggestions seem almost completely focused on children who listen, learn, go to college, etc. If your children aren't as "perfect" as theirs, this might not be the best book.

[Evan Hoekzema · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some helpful information in it, I felt like it was thorough. Nothing revolutionary, but I appreciated the author’s sincerity and experience in raising six kids. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual but this at least provided some guardrails!

[Le-Hua · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really good book! It’s filled with solid principles and it is current to our generation raising the next generation. I wish I read this book sooner. Not too late to apply these principles with God’s help.

[Hannah C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite or life changing parenting book, but good reminders and very comprehensive covering a helpful range of topics. Easy to read and understand for any Christian parent looking for guidance from a high level about how to think about parenting

[Alex Bridgeforth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such simple though timeless lessons and methods for parenting.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing new or different from every other faith-based parenting genre book. I enjoyed some of the anecdotal stories and agree with the information as a whole, but unfortunately nothing new here.

[Victoria Mendonca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about faith-based parenting. Would definitely recommend to a friend.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Christian parenting book. I would recommend doing it as a study though and taking it slow. There’s a lot of content packed into this and might be overwhelming just as a read.

[A Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yikes! 😳 Now I feel like the worst parent on the planet. Very convicting.

[Heather Banfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Would you be satisfied if your children developed a walk with God like yours? If not, then what needs to change in you?"

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Packed full of insight and practical examples of how to navigate emphasizing relationships to your kids, building character, finding emotional, spiritual, and sexual identity in God alone, and transitioning through different ages. Will be revisiting this book again. The “Forty things we sought to teach our children” is such a phenomenal help in thinking about overall parenting targets to have. A few of these: above all, know God and fear him. keep your promises, do what you say you will do. Learn the art of asking good questions, of carrying on good conversation. stay teachable and don’t become cynical. obtain godly counsel. live by commitments not by feelings. learn how to motivate people without manipulating them.

"The great English preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon was asked at what age a young child can believe in Christ. He answered, 'A child who knowingly sins can savingly believe.'

Your children will not naturally choose right. They will choose wrong. They will always choose their own way unless taught otherwise.

We like to think of character as our response to authority and life's circumstances...Character is what you think about when you consider the essence of how a person lives his life, how he fulfills his responsibilities, how he responds to life's circumstances, how he treats other people."

[Heidi Morrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update 2nd read through: 2023. One of our daughters is starting her Sophomore year in the Elementary education program @ Bible college, where she is a 3rd generation student! The Lord continues to challenge my husband and I to parent consistently His Way. Of course, each child/young adult is different, yet loved by us and their Creator God, Who has a unique plan for each. We praise Him for those who are seeking to follow His will for their lives, and still praise Him for his Mercy and Grace He freely gives each and every day! Definitely recommend this book for all Godly (or striving to be) parents. Excellent resource , and I wish it had been available and taught in the churches I have been in for the past 2 decades my husband and I have been training our 4 blessings . We have made mistakes , but we also endeavored, and still are with our younger 3, to "train them up in the way they should go". We'll never stop praying for our first born , who is ever in His presence , though not in ours .
We can't go back , but if we could , we would implement the guidelines laid out here .
Now , we are working towards parenting God's way in our present circumstances .