Kat called after him, “What’s your name?”
The Cyborg paused, his back once again turned toward her. “Monster,” he said eventually. “Since that’s what I am.”
*biggest eye roll in the history of the world*
*facepalm*
“Everyone I care about leaves me…”
*new world record holder for biggest eye roll*
*playing world's tiniest, most sarcastic violin*
In addition to the joys I've shared above, you've also got:
1. Giggling
2. Mewling
3. An abundance of clichés
4. The absence of logic
Covers can be deceiving, especially on Unlimited. These authors have other jobs; they have no money for marketing. Even if a book looks like this one, like this dude dropped a bag of Skittles and can't quite make the connection between gravity and holes in candy bags, I never try to judge. I've found some gems that look atrocious. Unfortunately, in this case, what you see is what you're going to get.
As I understood it, the basic world-building here is kind of cool. In the future, science has advanced enough to grace us with cyborgs that possess animal DNA. If you can do that thing with your brain that allows you to board the Sure, Why Not train, you can accept that they've figured out a way to fuse man, technology, and spider to the point where someone can split his metal arms and legs in two and drip venom from his teeth. Whatever, it's cool, I can jive.
Now, say these "shifter cyborgs" have various odd jobs throughout the universe that capitalize on their strengths. The main dude in this book is a spider mix, and he's in (kinda) charge of finding and tagging dangerous creatures. Scientists on Earth want to study an ice dragon? He'll find it, bring it back, and set off again, going where he's told. I don't see what's so awful about that. Sounds like an interesting, inventive premise. Crazy new alien animals? Talk to me about this enhances scientific research. Talk to me about the black market that's popped up around trading them, the wild new circuses, the new animal rights protests for said circuses. I want it alllll.
The part about this book that makes me want to send it to bed without dinner is the girl. She ain't a woman. I won't waste much breath, but she's...naive? I can buy the whole "I am instantly attracted to this stranger" business (because who hasn't fallen in immediate, nonsensical lust with a hot person?) but I won't throw away my brain and abide a woman who doesn't bust a gut laughing when said attractive stranger says he wants to be called Monster. Get out of here with your Hot Topic, vintage band shirt, over-the-top man pain.
Everything is just turned to 11 in this book in an awful way. The man pain, of course, and it's subsequent "I must never form attachments because who could love me" trope. Instalust. The clichés. The plot holes. The drama. The stereotypical sex.
You know, I get that this is erotica. I hate erotica. I really hate sex just for sex's sake--not because I think sex is some dirty, shameful thing that should be hidden, but because I don't know an author who can do it without making me roll my eyes. If I don't care about the characters, I don't care what they get up to, period--sex or otherwise. I can make do with a bare bones plot, but it'd better be a compelling one, and it'd better be written with a modicum of skill. If the writing is bad, nothing can save it for me, and this book has bad, hasty writing.