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When My Heart Joins the Thousand
Obviously I’m not what most people would describe as happy. But that has nothing to do with anything. Happiness is not a priority. Survival is.
Alvie Fitz doesn’t fit in, and she doesn’t care. She’s spent years swallowing meds and bad advice from doctors and social workers. Adjust, adapt. Pretend to be normal. It sounds so easy.
If she can make it to her eighteenth birthday without any major mishaps, she’ll be legally emancipated. Free. But if she fails, she’ll become a ward of the state and be sent back to the group home.
All she wants is to be left alone to spend time with her friend, Chance, the one-winged hawk at the zoo where she works. She can bide her time with him until her emancipation. Humans are overrated anyway. Then she meets Stanley, a boy who might be even stranger than she is—a boy who walks with a cane, who turns up every day with a new injury, whose body seems as fragile as glass. Without even meaning to, she finds herself getting close to him. But Alvie remembers what happened to the last person she truly cared about.
Her past stalks her with every step, and it has sharp teeth. But if she can find the strength to face the enemy inside her, maybe she’ll have a chance at happiness after all.
Alvie Fitz doesn’t fit in, and she doesn’t care. She’s spent years swallowing meds and bad advice from doctors and social workers. Adjust, adapt. Pretend to be normal. It sounds so easy.
If she can make it to her eighteenth birthday without any major mishaps, she’ll be legally emancipated. Free. But if she fails, she’ll become a ward of the state and be sent back to the group home.
All she wants is to be left alone to spend time with her friend, Chance, the one-winged hawk at the zoo where she works. She can bide her time with him until her emancipation. Humans are overrated anyway. Then she meets Stanley, a boy who might be even stranger than she is—a boy who walks with a cane, who turns up every day with a new injury, whose body seems as fragile as glass. Without even meaning to, she finds herself getting close to him. But Alvie remembers what happened to the last person she truly cared about.
Her past stalks her with every step, and it has sharp teeth. But if she can find the strength to face the enemy inside her, maybe she’ll have a chance at happiness after all.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published February 6, 2018
80 people are currently reading
5797 people want to read
About the author
A.J. Steiger
6 books167 followersA. J. Steiger graduated from Columbia College in Chicago, where she majored in fiction writing. She has lived her whole life in the Chicago suburbs, though she enjoys regular visits to other galaxies and dimensions in her mind. She's a freelance writer and transcriptionist with an enthusiasm for anime and pancake houses.
Mindwalker is her first book for young adults.
Mindwalker is her first book for young adults.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 438 reviews
May 19, 2020
I want to preface this review by saying that I am not autistic, not do I have the disability that Stanley suffers from, and I can only speak as an outsider looking in; however, any and all own-voice opinions and reviews would be welcomed and I would be happy to boost your review if you DM me or drop me a comment!
Going into a book with a romance between an autistic MC and her disabled love interest is the sort of thing that makes me feel very wary – will it be good, authentic rep? Will these characters be painted positively? Will I find myself knee-deep in tropes and cheap shots? Again, while I can’t speak from experience, I found myself feeling really pleased by the rep in this book and the way issues were handled. There were so many potential tropes that the author cleanly subverted, and I was so invested in this story and these characters that I genuinely did not want it to end.
As a child, Alvie was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and was told that she had to “get better”, or she would never get anywhere in life. Now, she’s 17 years old and determined to prove the world wrong, and wow, is she fierce. Her commitment to taking care of herself would be noble enough in any teen, but for her, the stakes are so much higher, and her fear of being put into a group home broke my heart. In fact, it was the very first thing in this story that was eye-opening for me: empathizing with the thought that someone could be threatened with having their freedoms taken away from them, just because they don’t interact with the world in what we’ve deemed as “socially acceptable”.
Despite the fact that so much of the story is heavy, focusing on Alvie’s determination to simply survive through each day, her commentary on the world around her is refreshing and, often, really mood-lifting. She loves animals dearly and has some particularly wide words on nature as a whole, but also, she manages to point out how people, in their day-to-day lives, do so many strange or unnecessary things – whose authority was it to deem them as “normal”?
More than anything, though, I loved how kind Alvie is. She is so concerned with the world around her, and though she doesn’t always know how to express them, her intentions are always in the right place. Especially when she meets Stanley, the young man with the cane who comes to visit her park everyday. As she grows to know and care for him, Alvie cares more about his well-being than anything else, and she blooms into this incredibly loving and nurturing young woman, even when it means sacrificing her own happiness.
If you asked me to choose who I loved more between Alvie and Stanley, to be honest, I don’t think I could. He matches Alvie’s compassion, but he’s terrified of not being “enough” – of being unable to protect her, or to be her equal, due to his own disability and mental health. Not only does he suffer from a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta – or, as he says, “a fancy way of saying my bones break easily” – but we also learn that familial abuse has given him terrible PTSD. We’ll come back to that in a moment, but it leads me to my next point:
This story focuses on an incredible amount of sex, and the way that it is handled made me want to cry tears of joy, because it is absolutely the kind of rep that we need in YA/NA books. There is a tremendous amount of talk surrounding consent (especially due to Alvie’s touch aversions and sensitivity to stimulus), and the characters are unafraid to sit down and talk about what is or isn’t comfortable for them. There’s a lot of sex positivity regarding one night stands and casual sex, but there’s also mention of how emotional sex can be between two individuals who care deeply for one another.
Both characters are virgins, and there are conversations about how terrifying that first time can be, or how toxic masculinity affects young men who don’t have sex immediately after puberty. There’s just so much important content about sex in this book, including the fact that, in this m/f couple, the guy is the one who’s “not ready”, and the girl is the one who has to tamp down her carnal desires and be patient. I just loved their whole relationship so much, for so many reasons, that I couldn’t even list them all here.
Finally, the last major topic Steiger addresses: abuse, in many different forms, as well as the guilt that can come with being an autistic or disabled individual with loved ones who don’t share your struggles. There is a lot of talk about feeling like a burden, or feeling “not good enough”, and Alvie shares a few flashbacks to painful moments and things her mother said to her, as well as an incredibly traumatic experience her mother put her through as a preteen. Despite all of these focuses on the negative outcomes of Alvie and Stanley’s respective family problems, the theme throughout the book remains the same: it should never be an autistic, mentally ill, or disabled person’s responsibility to feel guilty, useless, or broken. Instead, it should be society’s responsibility to learn how to offer compassion, empathy, accessibility, and understanding.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand isn’t your typical contemporary, and these aren’t your typical YA characters. This story is so unique, and so precious, and so heavy, and so special. I am so, so happy to have had the opportunity to read it, and I sincerely hope that Steiger writes more important work like this in the future.
Content warnings: ableism, PTSD, mental illness, assault, suicide, abuse, homophobia.
All quotes are taken from an unfinished ARC and may differ from the finished product. Thank you so much to HarperTeen for granted me this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Why did everyone act like it was my fault when the other kids bullied me? Why was I always the one who had to change?
Going into a book with a romance between an autistic MC and her disabled love interest is the sort of thing that makes me feel very wary – will it be good, authentic rep? Will these characters be painted positively? Will I find myself knee-deep in tropes and cheap shots? Again, while I can’t speak from experience, I found myself feeling really pleased by the rep in this book and the way issues were handled. There were so many potential tropes that the author cleanly subverted, and I was so invested in this story and these characters that I genuinely did not want it to end.
Happiness is not a priority. Survival is. Staying sane is. Pointing out that I’m not happy is like pointing out to a starving homeless man that he doesn’t have a sensible retirement plan. It might be true, but it’s entirely beside the point.
As a child, Alvie was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and was told that she had to “get better”, or she would never get anywhere in life. Now, she’s 17 years old and determined to prove the world wrong, and wow, is she fierce. Her commitment to taking care of herself would be noble enough in any teen, but for her, the stakes are so much higher, and her fear of being put into a group home broke my heart. In fact, it was the very first thing in this story that was eye-opening for me: empathizing with the thought that someone could be threatened with having their freedoms taken away from them, just because they don’t interact with the world in what we’ve deemed as “socially acceptable”.
Technically my condition doesn’t even exist anymore; if I ever go back to the doctor, they’ll presumably have to find some other label to stick on me. The specific words don’t matter. I’ll always be this way.
Despite the fact that so much of the story is heavy, focusing on Alvie’s determination to simply survive through each day, her commentary on the world around her is refreshing and, often, really mood-lifting. She loves animals dearly and has some particularly wide words on nature as a whole, but also, she manages to point out how people, in their day-to-day lives, do so many strange or unnecessary things – whose authority was it to deem them as “normal”?
The idea that autistic people don’t feel compassion is just an ugly stereotype, but it’s a viewpoint I’ve encountered even from some professionals, despite obvious evidence to the contrary.
More than anything, though, I loved how kind Alvie is. She is so concerned with the world around her, and though she doesn’t always know how to express them, her intentions are always in the right place. Especially when she meets Stanley, the young man with the cane who comes to visit her park everyday. As she grows to know and care for him, Alvie cares more about his well-being than anything else, and she blooms into this incredibly loving and nurturing young woman, even when it means sacrificing her own happiness.
Nothing about me is easy.
If you asked me to choose who I loved more between Alvie and Stanley, to be honest, I don’t think I could. He matches Alvie’s compassion, but he’s terrified of not being “enough” – of being unable to protect her, or to be her equal, due to his own disability and mental health. Not only does he suffer from a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta – or, as he says, “a fancy way of saying my bones break easily” – but we also learn that familial abuse has given him terrible PTSD. We’ll come back to that in a moment, but it leads me to my next point:
Does he assume that just because I’m different, I’m incapable of having a sexual relationship with anyone? That I’m unable even to feel desire?
This story focuses on an incredible amount of sex, and the way that it is handled made me want to cry tears of joy, because it is absolutely the kind of rep that we need in YA/NA books. There is a tremendous amount of talk surrounding consent (especially due to Alvie’s touch aversions and sensitivity to stimulus), and the characters are unafraid to sit down and talk about what is or isn’t comfortable for them. There’s a lot of sex positivity regarding one night stands and casual sex, but there’s also mention of how emotional sex can be between two individuals who care deeply for one another.
Both characters are virgins, and there are conversations about how terrifying that first time can be, or how toxic masculinity affects young men who don’t have sex immediately after puberty. There’s just so much important content about sex in this book, including the fact that, in this m/f couple, the guy is the one who’s “not ready”, and the girl is the one who has to tamp down her carnal desires and be patient. I just loved their whole relationship so much, for so many reasons, that I couldn’t even list them all here.
“When the ones who hurt you are the people who love you most… no one ever tells you how you’re supposed to deal with that.”
Finally, the last major topic Steiger addresses: abuse, in many different forms, as well as the guilt that can come with being an autistic or disabled individual with loved ones who don’t share your struggles. There is a lot of talk about feeling like a burden, or feeling “not good enough”, and Alvie shares a few flashbacks to painful moments and things her mother said to her, as well as an incredibly traumatic experience her mother put her through as a preteen. Despite all of these focuses on the negative outcomes of Alvie and Stanley’s respective family problems, the theme throughout the book remains the same: it should never be an autistic, mentally ill, or disabled person’s responsibility to feel guilty, useless, or broken. Instead, it should be society’s responsibility to learn how to offer compassion, empathy, accessibility, and understanding.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand isn’t your typical contemporary, and these aren’t your typical YA characters. This story is so unique, and so precious, and so heavy, and so special. I am so, so happy to have had the opportunity to read it, and I sincerely hope that Steiger writes more important work like this in the future.
Content warnings: ableism, PTSD, mental illness, assault, suicide, abuse, homophobia.
All quotes are taken from an unfinished ARC and may differ from the finished product. Thank you so much to HarperTeen for granted me this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
October 14, 2021
this was the type of book that makes time warp: you don’t even realize how much has passed because you’re so absorbed in it, until the world within its pages feels more real than the world that you actually occupy.
i highly recommend that you read this book, and here’s why:
it has both autism and disability rep (osteogenesis imperfecta, to be exact. basically, his bones break really easily.) i have neither, so i can’t speak from a place of knowledge that this representation was spot on. but i’ll admit that, as a reader, it (felt) immersive. the characters were the perfect place between flawed and perfect. they were lovable, and their pain felt like my pain. alvie’s autism is shown not only through the way she thinks and interacts with people, but also through her panic attacks and stimming.
there are several subplots tied in with the most gorgeous writing. we begin with alvie, a seventeen year old girl who is hoping for emancipation. she has a job at the zoo, which is perfect for her, because she relates more to animals than she does to other people. for the most part, she is alone. she finds it hard to communicate with others, and we have a lack of characters who truly understand her autism. instead, they label her as different and other. then, we are introduced to stanley: he is both a friend and a love interest, and he is more patient with and understanding of her than anyone else in her life has ever been. as a generally sex-repulsed asexual, i don’t typically enjoy mentions of sex within novels, but i appreciated the way that it was handled in this one.
this book is not just a love story, but an exploration of what it means to be different in a world that is so often harmful. it is a book about loving, and letting yourself be loved. it is a book about grief and loss and trauma and mental health. it is a book about sex and vulnerability and a one-winged hawk and rabbits. i recommend reading a list of the trigger warnings before reading it, but i thoroughly enjoyed this book. (it won a nutmeg book award, and i can see why. there should definitely be more fanfare about it on platforms such as this one, though!) it tore my heart to shreds and then gently glued it back together.
i highly recommend that you read this book, and here’s why:
it has both autism and disability rep (osteogenesis imperfecta, to be exact. basically, his bones break really easily.) i have neither, so i can’t speak from a place of knowledge that this representation was spot on. but i’ll admit that, as a reader, it (felt) immersive. the characters were the perfect place between flawed and perfect. they were lovable, and their pain felt like my pain. alvie’s autism is shown not only through the way she thinks and interacts with people, but also through her panic attacks and stimming.
there are several subplots tied in with the most gorgeous writing. we begin with alvie, a seventeen year old girl who is hoping for emancipation. she has a job at the zoo, which is perfect for her, because she relates more to animals than she does to other people. for the most part, she is alone. she finds it hard to communicate with others, and we have a lack of characters who truly understand her autism. instead, they label her as different and other. then, we are introduced to stanley: he is both a friend and a love interest, and he is more patient with and understanding of her than anyone else in her life has ever been. as a generally sex-repulsed asexual, i don’t typically enjoy mentions of sex within novels, but i appreciated the way that it was handled in this one.
this book is not just a love story, but an exploration of what it means to be different in a world that is so often harmful. it is a book about loving, and letting yourself be loved. it is a book about grief and loss and trauma and mental health. it is a book about sex and vulnerability and a one-winged hawk and rabbits. i recommend reading a list of the trigger warnings before reading it, but i thoroughly enjoyed this book. (it won a nutmeg book award, and i can see why. there should definitely be more fanfare about it on platforms such as this one, though!) it tore my heart to shreds and then gently glued it back together.
February 19, 2018
Whoa! That was gut punch. Some tears were shed, but by the end, they were happy tears.
This book provided such an interesting look at independence and finding one's self. This was quite an emotional journey, during which I shed many tears. But I can assure you, I was shedding happy tears by the end of this book.
•Pro: I was such an Alvie fan. She was honest, to the point, and quite funny. She was a fantastic narrator, and I loved listening to her observations and musings. I also cared for her so much, she deserved so much more than the hand she was dealt, and I just wanted to see her achieve everything her heart desired.
•Pro: I loved Stanley. He was sweet and caring, but most of all, he didn't want to change Alvie. He made an effort to learn about ASD, because he wanted to know how to make her more comfortable, not to "cure" her.
•Pro: Alvie was a big reader, who mostly loved animals and science. There were so many cool discussion about the two. The science stuff I am well acquainted with, but I learned a ton about animals from her.
•Pro: I have read a few books featuring neurodivergent characters, and this one ranks up with the great ones. It made me think so much about what is "normal" or "typical", and also wove things into the story to educate me about people on the spectrum and help clear up some of those misconceptions that run rampant.
•Pro: My emotions! My emotions! For a good part of the book, there were these heartbreaking flashbacks that kept making me shed tears. I felt physical pain for Alvie and everything she had suffered in her past. I also shed some tears of joy, when things went her way.
•Pro: Both Alvie and Stanley are dealing with rough pasts. I was overwhelmed with happiness when they found each other.
Pro: A+ for that ending! I swear, it had me wanting to dance on the mountain top. Bravo!
Overall: This story was, at times, intense and heartbreaking, but ultimately, hopeful. I absolutely enjoyed taking this journey with Alvie as she fought for to be independent, to survive, and to be loved.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
This book provided such an interesting look at independence and finding one's self. This was quite an emotional journey, during which I shed many tears. But I can assure you, I was shedding happy tears by the end of this book.
•Pro: I was such an Alvie fan. She was honest, to the point, and quite funny. She was a fantastic narrator, and I loved listening to her observations and musings. I also cared for her so much, she deserved so much more than the hand she was dealt, and I just wanted to see her achieve everything her heart desired.
•Pro: I loved Stanley. He was sweet and caring, but most of all, he didn't want to change Alvie. He made an effort to learn about ASD, because he wanted to know how to make her more comfortable, not to "cure" her.
•Pro: Alvie was a big reader, who mostly loved animals and science. There were so many cool discussion about the two. The science stuff I am well acquainted with, but I learned a ton about animals from her.
•Pro: I have read a few books featuring neurodivergent characters, and this one ranks up with the great ones. It made me think so much about what is "normal" or "typical", and also wove things into the story to educate me about people on the spectrum and help clear up some of those misconceptions that run rampant.
•Pro: My emotions! My emotions! For a good part of the book, there were these heartbreaking flashbacks that kept making me shed tears. I felt physical pain for Alvie and everything she had suffered in her past. I also shed some tears of joy, when things went her way.
•Pro: Both Alvie and Stanley are dealing with rough pasts. I was overwhelmed with happiness when they found each other.
Pro: A+ for that ending! I swear, it had me wanting to dance on the mountain top. Bravo!
Overall: This story was, at times, intense and heartbreaking, but ultimately, hopeful. I absolutely enjoyed taking this journey with Alvie as she fought for to be independent, to survive, and to be loved.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
March 31, 2023
4 / 5
I'm just...so conflicted? I don't even know what to do with myself.
Ok. So. I'm autistic and I have a collagen-depleting chronic illness, so they're just like me for real. In fact, I want some of those made up collagen injections that the Love Interest starts taking in the end (which for some reason or another, probably because they don't exist, he wasn't on earlier). That's to say : the rep is so good.
Me being me, I've wanted to read this forever. In fact, I think it might have been one of the first books I added to my tbr on here, so I was really happy to randomly find it in my local library. But imagine my surprise – me, who autocompletes and mentally changes words that don't make grammatical sense, – when I find out that the title says the Thousand. Singular. In a reference to a book that I will now read because I think this might have filled and broken my heart in an extra special way. I thought this was about how our lives are limited and at some point we will all die. And I mean, kinda? But I was not prepared for the emotional JOURNEY I got taken on with my precious babies, the Main Character and the Love Interest.
There's a special kind of love when two Disabled people meet and accept each other at where they're at. I call it crip love. It's just such a special connection that's in every Disabled on Disabled OwnVoices romance I've read. In fact, the whole time, I was thinking about my favorite book of all time, Sick Kids in Love. Frankly, that's the highest compliment I can give. This book fluttered so SKiL could soar.
I read this in one sitting. At midnight. Knowing I had shit to do today. That's saying something because I like my sleep. This could have waited 'til morning. But no, somebody (me) was invested and couldn't even fathom putting it down until finishing. The identity of this person,me, will remain one of the world's greatest mysteries.
On to my critiques because I'm critical of anything and everything in my path.
She's 17. Emancipated but 17. And he's 19. Which really isn't that big of an age gap and they're at the same emotional maturity. But like...you were so close with this one. This really would have been no different had he been the same age as her or if she was 16 and he was 17. It's fine...but also it's illegal.
I get it was supposed to be funny, but she does say cock at one point before giving him...head. Which it's cool and great to have a sex positive message! But I didn't need to know what happened or how. It's why I appreciate the YA-appropriate fade-to-black in Sick Kids in Love.
The writing was just so stilted and awkward at times. Not in the way that 'this other autistic person thinks differently than me, so it's weird'. Because I actually really appreciated that the writing was reflective of her style of speech, but it's like the 'cock' thing. Can we stay consistent?
And I didn't like the first half of the last third. Which is specific, but to a sleep deprived Wheels, it felt like it went on forever. Not only was there the obligatory third act break up, but she does several illegal things which I understand why she did, but...this could have been maybe three or four pages.
But we love a sex-positive crip-love book. I totally recommend reading this it was a total delight!
TWs : parental death, abuse, bones breaking, autistic overload/'meltdowns', panic attacks, attempted suicide (mentioned), attempted murder, parental suicide, animal abuse (mild), blood, medical content, and institutionalization/overmedication
I'm just...so conflicted? I don't even know what to do with myself.
Ok. So. I'm autistic and I have a collagen-depleting chronic illness, so they're just like me for real. In fact, I want some of those made up collagen injections that the Love Interest starts taking in the end (which for some reason or another, probably because they don't exist, he wasn't on earlier). That's to say : the rep is so good.
Me being me, I've wanted to read this forever. In fact, I think it might have been one of the first books I added to my tbr on here, so I was really happy to randomly find it in my local library. But imagine my surprise – me, who autocompletes and mentally changes words that don't make grammatical sense, – when I find out that the title says the Thousand. Singular. In a reference to a book that I will now read because I think this might have filled and broken my heart in an extra special way. I thought this was about how our lives are limited and at some point we will all die. And I mean, kinda? But I was not prepared for the emotional JOURNEY I got taken on with my precious babies, the Main Character and the Love Interest.
There's a special kind of love when two Disabled people meet and accept each other at where they're at. I call it crip love. It's just such a special connection that's in every Disabled on Disabled OwnVoices romance I've read. In fact, the whole time, I was thinking about my favorite book of all time, Sick Kids in Love. Frankly, that's the highest compliment I can give. This book fluttered so SKiL could soar.
I read this in one sitting. At midnight. Knowing I had shit to do today. That's saying something because I like my sleep. This could have waited 'til morning. But no, somebody (me) was invested and couldn't even fathom putting it down until finishing. The identity of this person,
On to my critiques because I'm critical of anything and everything in my path.
She's 17. Emancipated but 17. And he's 19. Which really isn't that big of an age gap and they're at the same emotional maturity. But like...you were so close with this one. This really would have been no different had he been the same age as her or if she was 16 and he was 17. It's fine...but also it's illegal.
I get it was supposed to be funny, but she does say cock at one point before giving him...head. Which it's cool and great to have a sex positive message! But I didn't need to know what happened or how. It's why I appreciate the YA-appropriate fade-to-black in Sick Kids in Love.
The writing was just so stilted and awkward at times. Not in the way that 'this other autistic person thinks differently than me, so it's weird'. Because I actually really appreciated that the writing was reflective of her style of speech, but it's like the 'cock' thing. Can we stay consistent?
And I didn't like the first half of the last third. Which is specific, but to a sleep deprived Wheels, it felt like it went on forever. Not only was there the obligatory third act break up, but she does several illegal things which I understand why she did, but...this could have been maybe three or four pages.
But we love a sex-positive crip-love book. I totally recommend reading this it was a total delight!
TWs : parental death, abuse, bones breaking, autistic overload/'meltdowns', panic attacks, attempted suicide (mentioned), attempted murder, parental suicide, animal abuse (mild), blood, medical content, and institutionalization/overmedication
February 18, 2019
Since my last read with an autistic main character contained harmful rep, I was nervous to read another one by an allistic author. But this one was a breath of fresh air and it was such a relief to read one that made me feel SEEN and that handled issues of ableism so much more appropriately.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand is about two disabled teens (17 & 19) with tragic pasts falling in love. Alvie is autistic and Stanley has Osteogenesis Imperfecta, also known as Brittle Bone Disease. Meaning his bones break easily, so he uses a cane and occasionally a wheelchair. And he ends up in the hospital a lot. Their story definitely isn’t a light hearted or an easy one. It was messy and devastating at times. They’re both dealing with mental illness as well-Alvie with PTSD and Stanley with depression, I think. But it was still adorable and heart warming and pure and had an ending that literally made me sigh with contentment and satisfaction.
I’m gonna talk first and foremost about the autistic rep, of course. I felt that it was on point, realistic, relatable to me as an autistic person. Alvie has meltdowns (like, the term ‘meltdown’ is actually used!!), she has sensory issues with smells and with touch and has a terribly hard time communicating and catching social cues and reading expressions and all that. She’s very socially awkward and often says things that make people cringe or or give her weird looks. BUT she also has a job and can drive and take care of herself, which I loved. All autistic people are different and a lot of people seem to think that no autistic people can possibly be independent.
I did find her lack of social skills/inability to read people a liiiiittle over the top at times. And her constant absence of question marks was a little excessive. She never used inflections when asking questions, she always made them sound like they were statements:
“What are you doing here.”
“Where are you going”
“Are you ok.”
Etc. But I’m sure many autistic people are actually like this, even if I’m not. Maybe it’s realistic to some autistics, I don’t know. That was just a small thing though.
Also, I’m always a little wary when autistic characters have an ‘Aspergers’ diagnosis, since it’s technically not a thing anymore and has been changed to just ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder.’ A lot of people tend to think Aspergers and Autism are different things but they’re NOT. If you’re autistic, you’re autistic. If you have ‘Aspergers’ you’re autistic.
The words autistic and autism were used though and her aspergers diagnosis wasn’t treated like something entirely separate from autism so it wasn’t a huge issue. I’d just personally rather not see ‘Aspergers’ used as a diagnosis in books anymore. Even if I myself was technically diagnosed with it. I just feel like it’s a way to divide ‘high functioning’ and ‘low functioning’ autistic people, and put us into two neat little boxes, when it’s really not that simple or linear. Autism is a spectrum and is a lot more complex, not just a straight line with “mildly autistic” at one end and “severely autistic” at the other. The author didn’t make it seem that way though, so that’s good!
Those were my only two drawbacks though, so back to the good stuff!!
Alvie’s special interest was animals. Or more specifically, rabbits. She reminded me of myself when I was 11/12, not cause she was childish, but cause as a preteen I would read up on all different animals and recite facts about them at random times. My special interest was once animals just like Alvie’s was and I could relate deeply to her love for animals and the way she felt more connected to them than to most people. ALSO I WILL ADMIT THAT I’VE NEVER READ WATERSHIP DOWN. EVER. All I know is that it’s about rabbits. But I loved all her little references to it and it made me reaaaally wanna read it.
Steiger did an excellent job at portraying the difficulties that us autistic people often face. The ways in which we’re misunderstood, the ways people react to our differences, the harm that being ‘weird’ and ‘different’ can bring us. That one scene with the police officer where he thinks she’s doing something suspicious because she’s stimming/rocking back and forth and fiddling with a stim toy in her pocket. That was just...scarily accurate. Her mom also literally said to her “I know there’s a real you hidden in there somewhere” which is the absolute worst thing autistic people can and have been told. Neither are things I can relate to fortunately but I know many autistic people can.
And the fact that the author stressed multiple times that being autistic isn’t bad, that it’s not a personal failing, that it’s not something to be ashamed of was really important. Steiger made it clear that just because autistic people don’t fit into “”normal”” people’s expectations of behavior doesn’t mean they’re lesser or should be treated poorly. Although Alvie struggled a lot with self acceptance, there was never any suggestion that she needed to be “fixed” or “cured.” It was obvious the author wanted the reader to know that Alvie herself wasn’t the problem, that it was everyone else’s attitudes towards her differences that were the problem.
Alvie’s mistreatment by her mom and classmates was never made to seem like her fault or like not a big deal and I really appreciated that. She reacted to the bullies, she fought back, and their behavior wasn’t dismissed by Alvie or by the author, even though the bullies weren’t actually punished. I’m just glad the author stressed how horrible they really were. Unlike in the last book I read, where the mistreatment of the autistic character seemed to be downplayed and brushed off by the autistic character himself as well as everyone witnessing his bullying. Alvie deals with a lot of ableism from everyone around her and it can get a bit stressful to read about at times but the author handled it really well in my opinion.
This book also focuses a lot on sex and on Alvie’s feelings towards sex. I don’t mean it was full of sex scenes, just that Alvie and Stanley talked a lot about it and both had their reservations about it even though they were clearly attracted to one another. Alvie’s initial reasons for wanting to have sex with Stanley were not healthy at all. She basically felt like she needed to fix herself and prove to herself that she could be normal. But I was sooo glad the author handled this the way she did. I’m glad neither of them rushed into sex. They talked about consent and were both very patient with each other and never pushed one other. There isn’t a lot of graphic sex, just a short semi descriptive sexual scene near the end but throughout the book Alvie is very vocal about sex and asks a lot of questions and makes really blunt remarks and it was honestly pretty hilarious and I loved it, I loved how unafraid she was to be upfront.
This definitely felt like upper YA or maaaaybe even NA. Not just the content but the story and the way it was written. And I loved that but just be aware of that going in!! Alvie is living on her own in an apartment, she’s got a full time job, and she’s looking to get emancipated. So, she was forced to grow up very fast and isn’t exactly living the typical teenage life.
Stanley was sweet and patient and adorable and I loved him so much. He was perfect for Alvie. He accepted her for who she was and was super understanding and he literally bought books on autism so he could learn more about it which was just sksksksk SO CUTE. He was kind and not judgmental even when Alvie said really weird things and behaved ‘abnormally.’ He was bewildered at times by some of her quirks-like her tendency to spout random animal facts-but never in a way that seemed rude or judgy. He was flawed, of course. They both were. Hoo boy they both make some HUGE mistakes and don’t always handle things appropriately and they both get into a looooot of trouble. But overall they were both genuinely good people who deserved each other and happiness. Stanley deserved so much more than he’d been dealt and so did Alvie and I’m so glad they found each other. My heart is so full.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand made me laugh and cry and swoon and I could not recommend it more. I’m so glad I have another autistic book to add to my favorites pile. Alvie and Stanley will forever be in my heart and their story is one that I’ll never forget.
One last thing: I don’t want it to seem like I’m praising and bowing down to an allistic author simply for not writing harmful autistic rep. That would be like praising someone for showing basic human decency. Which, should be something everyone strives for when writing about marginalized characters. BUT Steiger did an amazing job. She obviously did her research and didn’t half ass anything. I don’t know if she hired sensitivity readers or just talked to a lot of autistic people, but it’s clear that she knows what’s harmful and what isn’t. And for that I’m very grateful. Take note, for those of you looking to write autistic characters. Learn from autistic people, not our caregivers or the so called ‘autism experts’ who try to speak for us. That is all!
When My Heart Joins the Thousand is about two disabled teens (17 & 19) with tragic pasts falling in love. Alvie is autistic and Stanley has Osteogenesis Imperfecta, also known as Brittle Bone Disease. Meaning his bones break easily, so he uses a cane and occasionally a wheelchair. And he ends up in the hospital a lot. Their story definitely isn’t a light hearted or an easy one. It was messy and devastating at times. They’re both dealing with mental illness as well-Alvie with PTSD and Stanley with depression, I think. But it was still adorable and heart warming and pure and had an ending that literally made me sigh with contentment and satisfaction.
I’m gonna talk first and foremost about the autistic rep, of course. I felt that it was on point, realistic, relatable to me as an autistic person. Alvie has meltdowns (like, the term ‘meltdown’ is actually used!!), she has sensory issues with smells and with touch and has a terribly hard time communicating and catching social cues and reading expressions and all that. She’s very socially awkward and often says things that make people cringe or or give her weird looks. BUT she also has a job and can drive and take care of herself, which I loved. All autistic people are different and a lot of people seem to think that no autistic people can possibly be independent.
I did find her lack of social skills/inability to read people a liiiiittle over the top at times. And her constant absence of question marks was a little excessive. She never used inflections when asking questions, she always made them sound like they were statements:
“What are you doing here.”
“Where are you going”
“Are you ok.”
Etc. But I’m sure many autistic people are actually like this, even if I’m not. Maybe it’s realistic to some autistics, I don’t know. That was just a small thing though.
Also, I’m always a little wary when autistic characters have an ‘Aspergers’ diagnosis, since it’s technically not a thing anymore and has been changed to just ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder.’ A lot of people tend to think Aspergers and Autism are different things but they’re NOT. If you’re autistic, you’re autistic. If you have ‘Aspergers’ you’re autistic.
The words autistic and autism were used though and her aspergers diagnosis wasn’t treated like something entirely separate from autism so it wasn’t a huge issue. I’d just personally rather not see ‘Aspergers’ used as a diagnosis in books anymore. Even if I myself was technically diagnosed with it. I just feel like it’s a way to divide ‘high functioning’ and ‘low functioning’ autistic people, and put us into two neat little boxes, when it’s really not that simple or linear. Autism is a spectrum and is a lot more complex, not just a straight line with “mildly autistic” at one end and “severely autistic” at the other. The author didn’t make it seem that way though, so that’s good!
Those were my only two drawbacks though, so back to the good stuff!!
Alvie’s special interest was animals. Or more specifically, rabbits. She reminded me of myself when I was 11/12, not cause she was childish, but cause as a preteen I would read up on all different animals and recite facts about them at random times. My special interest was once animals just like Alvie’s was and I could relate deeply to her love for animals and the way she felt more connected to them than to most people. ALSO I WILL ADMIT THAT I’VE NEVER READ WATERSHIP DOWN. EVER. All I know is that it’s about rabbits. But I loved all her little references to it and it made me reaaaally wanna read it.
Steiger did an excellent job at portraying the difficulties that us autistic people often face. The ways in which we’re misunderstood, the ways people react to our differences, the harm that being ‘weird’ and ‘different’ can bring us. That one scene with the police officer where he thinks she’s doing something suspicious because she’s stimming/rocking back and forth and fiddling with a stim toy in her pocket. That was just...scarily accurate. Her mom also literally said to her “I know there’s a real you hidden in there somewhere” which is the absolute worst thing autistic people can and have been told. Neither are things I can relate to fortunately but I know many autistic people can.
And the fact that the author stressed multiple times that being autistic isn’t bad, that it’s not a personal failing, that it’s not something to be ashamed of was really important. Steiger made it clear that just because autistic people don’t fit into “”normal”” people’s expectations of behavior doesn’t mean they’re lesser or should be treated poorly. Although Alvie struggled a lot with self acceptance, there was never any suggestion that she needed to be “fixed” or “cured.” It was obvious the author wanted the reader to know that Alvie herself wasn’t the problem, that it was everyone else’s attitudes towards her differences that were the problem.
Alvie’s mistreatment by her mom and classmates was never made to seem like her fault or like not a big deal and I really appreciated that. She reacted to the bullies, she fought back, and their behavior wasn’t dismissed by Alvie or by the author, even though the bullies weren’t actually punished. I’m just glad the author stressed how horrible they really were. Unlike in the last book I read, where the mistreatment of the autistic character seemed to be downplayed and brushed off by the autistic character himself as well as everyone witnessing his bullying. Alvie deals with a lot of ableism from everyone around her and it can get a bit stressful to read about at times but the author handled it really well in my opinion.
This book also focuses a lot on sex and on Alvie’s feelings towards sex. I don’t mean it was full of sex scenes, just that Alvie and Stanley talked a lot about it and both had their reservations about it even though they were clearly attracted to one another. Alvie’s initial reasons for wanting to have sex with Stanley were not healthy at all. She basically felt like she needed to fix herself and prove to herself that she could be normal. But I was sooo glad the author handled this the way she did. I’m glad neither of them rushed into sex. They talked about consent and were both very patient with each other and never pushed one other. There isn’t a lot of graphic sex, just a short semi descriptive sexual scene near the end but throughout the book Alvie is very vocal about sex and asks a lot of questions and makes really blunt remarks and it was honestly pretty hilarious and I loved it, I loved how unafraid she was to be upfront.
This definitely felt like upper YA or maaaaybe even NA. Not just the content but the story and the way it was written. And I loved that but just be aware of that going in!! Alvie is living on her own in an apartment, she’s got a full time job, and she’s looking to get emancipated. So, she was forced to grow up very fast and isn’t exactly living the typical teenage life.
Stanley was sweet and patient and adorable and I loved him so much. He was perfect for Alvie. He accepted her for who she was and was super understanding and he literally bought books on autism so he could learn more about it which was just sksksksk SO CUTE. He was kind and not judgmental even when Alvie said really weird things and behaved ‘abnormally.’ He was bewildered at times by some of her quirks-like her tendency to spout random animal facts-but never in a way that seemed rude or judgy. He was flawed, of course. They both were. Hoo boy they both make some HUGE mistakes and don’t always handle things appropriately and they both get into a looooot of trouble. But overall they were both genuinely good people who deserved each other and happiness. Stanley deserved so much more than he’d been dealt and so did Alvie and I’m so glad they found each other. My heart is so full.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand made me laugh and cry and swoon and I could not recommend it more. I’m so glad I have another autistic book to add to my favorites pile. Alvie and Stanley will forever be in my heart and their story is one that I’ll never forget.
One last thing: I don’t want it to seem like I’m praising and bowing down to an allistic author simply for not writing harmful autistic rep. That would be like praising someone for showing basic human decency. Which, should be something everyone strives for when writing about marginalized characters. BUT Steiger did an amazing job. She obviously did her research and didn’t half ass anything. I don’t know if she hired sensitivity readers or just talked to a lot of autistic people, but it’s clear that she knows what’s harmful and what isn’t. And for that I’m very grateful. Take note, for those of you looking to write autistic characters. Learn from autistic people, not our caregivers or the so called ‘autism experts’ who try to speak for us. That is all!
February 28, 2018
I'm not sure how to review this book. I thought that it was a good read, but at times it seemed kind of over the top.
You don't hear many 17 year olds living on their own and it seemed like Alvie was on her own since she was 15 with a full time job and her own apartment. I'm way older than her, have a full time job, but still can't live in my own apartment. She was doing pretty good for herself and then the last 100 pages, everything seemed to full apart for Alvie, but then things got good again.
Stanley, ooohhh Stanley!! Stanley was perfect, maybe too perfect even with his disablity. I loved him and I loved how he accepted who Alvie was though.
Books like this just break my heart, but in a good way if that even makes sense!!???
You don't hear many 17 year olds living on their own and it seemed like Alvie was on her own since she was 15 with a full time job and her own apartment. I'm way older than her, have a full time job, but still can't live in my own apartment. She was doing pretty good for herself and then the last 100 pages, everything seemed to full apart for Alvie, but then things got good again.
Stanley, ooohhh Stanley!! Stanley was perfect, maybe too perfect even with his disablity. I loved him and I loved how he accepted who Alvie was though.
Books like this just break my heart, but in a good way if that even makes sense!!???
February 25, 2018
Originally posted at NOVELcravings, review copy courtesy of Harper Collins.
This is one of those books that upon finishing it, I hugged it tightly to my chest. And I know that it is undoubtedly one of the best books of 2018 and I wish more people were talking about it! The author had me fall in love with her characters, care greatly for their journey and put me through every emotion possible. It was both movingly beautiful and painfully heartbreaking. If you read When My Heart Joins The Thousand, and let me be clear I recommend it to everyone, you will know what I mean.
The main character, Alvie is a foster child who lives independently while pursuing emancipation. Her fear is that she will be placed in a group home if the judge decides her Aspergers means she is incapable of being a functioning member of society. I can’t speak for the rep in this book, and there’s a lot, (mental health, abuse, disability, autism) but I think it was done well and handled respectfully. Like I said, this book makes you feel the whole rainbow of emotions. I felt love and admiration for Alvie because she never gives up despite all she’s been through. I was angry for her, at the broken system that failed her and must fail people in real life. I was disgusted actually, that society expected her to “get better” and be “normal”. But I also felt a lot of happy, especially every time Alvie did something outside her comfort zone, she is a truly inspiring character.
People with Aspergers tend to be blunt and so was the writing, in a way I think more YA should be. Teens don’t only need flowery stories of happy ever after, they need real stories that reflect the lives they live every day. Alvie doesn’t always understand sarcasm or societies way of constantly putting on a show. For example, when she has to attend court she can’t understand why a suit, instead of jeans and a t-shirt, helps prove her ability to be independent. And she’s right. I could relate to that. The characters are also very frank and honest about sex – this is so important for YA! Communication was clear, consent was there. Thank you, A J Steiger, for writing about two teens who handled sex in a very healthy way. This is what I would want my teenager to read.
Let it be known, the writing and pacing and all that important jazz were good. But I won’t talk about that in detail because more importantly, this book moved me. It is rare that a book makes me feel all the feels I did with this one AND I still think about it almost daily. I can’t tell you the last time a book impacted me like this.
I gave this book all the stars.
Go read it.
This is one of those books that upon finishing it, I hugged it tightly to my chest. And I know that it is undoubtedly one of the best books of 2018 and I wish more people were talking about it! The author had me fall in love with her characters, care greatly for their journey and put me through every emotion possible. It was both movingly beautiful and painfully heartbreaking. If you read When My Heart Joins The Thousand, and let me be clear I recommend it to everyone, you will know what I mean.
The main character, Alvie is a foster child who lives independently while pursuing emancipation. Her fear is that she will be placed in a group home if the judge decides her Aspergers means she is incapable of being a functioning member of society. I can’t speak for the rep in this book, and there’s a lot, (mental health, abuse, disability, autism) but I think it was done well and handled respectfully. Like I said, this book makes you feel the whole rainbow of emotions. I felt love and admiration for Alvie because she never gives up despite all she’s been through. I was angry for her, at the broken system that failed her and must fail people in real life. I was disgusted actually, that society expected her to “get better” and be “normal”. But I also felt a lot of happy, especially every time Alvie did something outside her comfort zone, she is a truly inspiring character.
People with Aspergers tend to be blunt and so was the writing, in a way I think more YA should be. Teens don’t only need flowery stories of happy ever after, they need real stories that reflect the lives they live every day. Alvie doesn’t always understand sarcasm or societies way of constantly putting on a show. For example, when she has to attend court she can’t understand why a suit, instead of jeans and a t-shirt, helps prove her ability to be independent. And she’s right. I could relate to that. The characters are also very frank and honest about sex – this is so important for YA! Communication was clear, consent was there. Thank you, A J Steiger, for writing about two teens who handled sex in a very healthy way. This is what I would want my teenager to read.
Let it be known, the writing and pacing and all that important jazz were good. But I won’t talk about that in detail because more importantly, this book moved me. It is rare that a book makes me feel all the feels I did with this one AND I still think about it almost daily. I can’t tell you the last time a book impacted me like this.
I gave this book all the stars.
Go read it.
August 16, 2019
I just finished. I'm shaky. I will not read any reviews or anything about the author until I'm done writing this. What day is it? Friday. I guess I work tonight. I'm in a bathrobe (kind of ratty) and Birkenstocks because somehow it feels more comfortable to have them on than to be in bare feet these days. I turned the last page of the book, closed it, wiped my eyes, hugged it to my chest and smiled gently and here I am.
I really don't know what any of you want to read and I sit here thinking about how these reviews are my outlet, my way of trying to make sense of all my feelings over a book. I have no objectivity. I really don't. If you thought maybe I had a bit, think again. I'm INFP. That either means something to you or it doesn't. In short, it's about feelings for me, the feelings.
I was at a funeral this week and it was one about a big love story. I thought about the finite nature of our existence. And then, right book, right time. A very long time ago, when I was fifteen, someone gave me "Watership Down" and I read it. It was hardcover edition and had just been published. It was a huge gift to me at the time, the first hardcover book I'd ever owned. This author (I don't know one thing about this author, not a thing) obviously was very affected by "Watership Down."
It's interesting to me how books get the "YA" rating. I wonder who reads this book and I wonder how many adults will miss it because of the "YA" categorizing?
What's the book about, right? It's about opening up or shutting down. It's about joy and pain. It's about the myth of normalcy and the incredible drive and terror to be seen for our real selves, naked not just literally but figuratively.
I think about the word love and how when I was young it was not used all the time. People did not "love" everything. Fries, movies, sweaters, cars. Well, maybe they did "love" them but it was just not a word that was overused. And now everyone loves everything or sometimes it seems like that and it bothers me. Sometimes I think about love being a verb and to say it we need to practice it, to live it. It's easy to say. Love, love, love, love, love , love. See? But to practice it, not just on days it's easy but on the days when it's not easy, when it's difficult, when storm clouds threaten and we're just tired and worn down. "When My Heart Joins the Thousand" reminded me of what love in it's purest form means. I am so very grateful to have read this book. I needed these pages right now more than words can say but I've tried to say it.
Be good to each other,
Pam/Fishgirl
I really don't know what any of you want to read and I sit here thinking about how these reviews are my outlet, my way of trying to make sense of all my feelings over a book. I have no objectivity. I really don't. If you thought maybe I had a bit, think again. I'm INFP. That either means something to you or it doesn't. In short, it's about feelings for me, the feelings.
I was at a funeral this week and it was one about a big love story. I thought about the finite nature of our existence. And then, right book, right time. A very long time ago, when I was fifteen, someone gave me "Watership Down" and I read it. It was hardcover edition and had just been published. It was a huge gift to me at the time, the first hardcover book I'd ever owned. This author (I don't know one thing about this author, not a thing) obviously was very affected by "Watership Down."
It's interesting to me how books get the "YA" rating. I wonder who reads this book and I wonder how many adults will miss it because of the "YA" categorizing?
What's the book about, right? It's about opening up or shutting down. It's about joy and pain. It's about the myth of normalcy and the incredible drive and terror to be seen for our real selves, naked not just literally but figuratively.
I think about the word love and how when I was young it was not used all the time. People did not "love" everything. Fries, movies, sweaters, cars. Well, maybe they did "love" them but it was just not a word that was overused. And now everyone loves everything or sometimes it seems like that and it bothers me. Sometimes I think about love being a verb and to say it we need to practice it, to live it. It's easy to say. Love, love, love, love, love , love. See? But to practice it, not just on days it's easy but on the days when it's not easy, when it's difficult, when storm clouds threaten and we're just tired and worn down. "When My Heart Joins the Thousand" reminded me of what love in it's purest form means. I am so very grateful to have read this book. I needed these pages right now more than words can say but I've tried to say it.
Be good to each other,
Pam/Fishgirl
November 16, 2021
3.5 stars
When My Heart Joins the Thousand is a really cute contemporary book about a girl with autism and a boy with osteogenesis imperfecta.
It's so rare that books about neurodivergent people are published, and I was thrilled to discover it existed. Even though not all neurodivergent people are the same, or even similar, the way Alvie was presented felt real and authentic.
It's quite a slow book, and you have no idea where the plot will take you, but the ending filled my heart with joy and peace.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand is a really cute contemporary book about a girl with autism and a boy with osteogenesis imperfecta.
It's so rare that books about neurodivergent people are published, and I was thrilled to discover it existed. Even though not all neurodivergent people are the same, or even similar, the way Alvie was presented felt real and authentic.
It's quite a slow book, and you have no idea where the plot will take you, but the ending filled my heart with joy and peace.
November 13, 2017
When My Heart Joins The Thousand offers a beautiful insight into growing up and learning to accept your self.
Alvie has only another year until she will legally be free - free from fear of being returned to the foster care system, free to continue living on her own terms, free from the continual assessment of others as seeing her as something different, something other. When a young man enters the sphere of her daily routine she is at first shaken, but then takes up the opportunity to prove that even she can enjoy the closeness of others. But her relationship with Stanley is nothing like she imagined. As Alvie faces the challenges of living alone, fights for her freedom, and faces her past, it is her relationship with Stanley that prompts her to reassess everything she knows about herself and love.
Well, that is one intense prologue. Talk about getting thrown right into the story. Actually, intense is the perfect descriptor for this book. It tackles so many important themes in an upfront and honest way. It is intense in an unputdownable way and I greatly enjoyed reading Alvie's story.
Alvie is a wonderful narrator and main character - she is the driving force behind this book and the reason it is so powerful. It is her story, told in her way. Alvie has Aspergers. At times, it defines who she believes she is and what she can do, but this book focuses on her journey of seeing herself outside of her diagnosis and outside of her past. When My Heart Joins the Thousand captures all the complexities and ups and downs as Alvie fights to become emancipated, as she faces the continued challenge of others' judgment or expectations, as she struggles to balance steady employment and housing, and as she meets Stanley and assesses how this will change the routine of her life. Alvie is a unique, individual, and deeply layered character - perfect for this character-driven novel.
Alvie and Stanley's relationship is both heartbreaking and incredibly sweet. Neither of them has anyone else on whom to lean. They need each other and yet they are both so afraid of hurting each other. Their romance may not have a conventional start, in fact, there may not be anything 'standard' about their relationship, but instead it is authentic and incredibly moving. I loved Stanley. Loved his deeply caring nature. Loved his patience with Alvie as she both pushes him away and pulls him close. As Alvie slowly learns more about him and his story, it was so easy to fall in love with him.
When My Heart Joins The Thousand is suitable for a very mature young adult audience. I would actually classify it as new adult fiction, due in part because of the frequent and detailed sexual content, but also because the challenges the characters face are very much relevant for an older young adult reader. That said, I think it is the perfect addition to this crossover category, offering a much-needed, well-considered, and powerful approach to issues surrounding coming of age, relationships, and independence.
When My Heart Joins The Thousand is a powerful novel that captures the anguish of being different and the magic that comes from being accepted for who you are. Romance, self-discover, and triumph over emotional trauma combine in this heartfelt novel.
The publishers provided an advanced readers copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions are my own.
Find more reviews, reading age guides, content advisory, and recommendations on my blog Madison's Library.
Alvie has only another year until she will legally be free - free from fear of being returned to the foster care system, free to continue living on her own terms, free from the continual assessment of others as seeing her as something different, something other. When a young man enters the sphere of her daily routine she is at first shaken, but then takes up the opportunity to prove that even she can enjoy the closeness of others. But her relationship with Stanley is nothing like she imagined. As Alvie faces the challenges of living alone, fights for her freedom, and faces her past, it is her relationship with Stanley that prompts her to reassess everything she knows about herself and love.
Well, that is one intense prologue. Talk about getting thrown right into the story. Actually, intense is the perfect descriptor for this book. It tackles so many important themes in an upfront and honest way. It is intense in an unputdownable way and I greatly enjoyed reading Alvie's story.
Alvie is a wonderful narrator and main character - she is the driving force behind this book and the reason it is so powerful. It is her story, told in her way. Alvie has Aspergers. At times, it defines who she believes she is and what she can do, but this book focuses on her journey of seeing herself outside of her diagnosis and outside of her past. When My Heart Joins the Thousand captures all the complexities and ups and downs as Alvie fights to become emancipated, as she faces the continued challenge of others' judgment or expectations, as she struggles to balance steady employment and housing, and as she meets Stanley and assesses how this will change the routine of her life. Alvie is a unique, individual, and deeply layered character - perfect for this character-driven novel.
Alvie and Stanley's relationship is both heartbreaking and incredibly sweet. Neither of them has anyone else on whom to lean. They need each other and yet they are both so afraid of hurting each other. Their romance may not have a conventional start, in fact, there may not be anything 'standard' about their relationship, but instead it is authentic and incredibly moving. I loved Stanley. Loved his deeply caring nature. Loved his patience with Alvie as she both pushes him away and pulls him close. As Alvie slowly learns more about him and his story, it was so easy to fall in love with him.
When My Heart Joins The Thousand is suitable for a very mature young adult audience. I would actually classify it as new adult fiction, due in part because of the frequent and detailed sexual content, but also because the challenges the characters face are very much relevant for an older young adult reader. That said, I think it is the perfect addition to this crossover category, offering a much-needed, well-considered, and powerful approach to issues surrounding coming of age, relationships, and independence.
When My Heart Joins The Thousand is a powerful novel that captures the anguish of being different and the magic that comes from being accepted for who you are. Romance, self-discover, and triumph over emotional trauma combine in this heartfelt novel.
The publishers provided an advanced readers copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions are my own.
Find more reviews, reading age guides, content advisory, and recommendations on my blog Madison's Library.
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February 15, 2018Heart-squeezing emotion.
September 30, 2018
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"Söylediklerine odaklanmaya çalışıyordum fakat hayallere dalmıştım, kendimi sesine kaptırmıştım."
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#busunkitapligiyorumluyor
Kitabı genel olarak sevdiğimi söyleyebilirim ama çok mu harikaydı, çok mu sevdim, çok mu etkilendim diye sorarsak cevabımız malum: Hayır.
Kitabın potansiyeli bir hayli yüksekti. Eğer kitap gerçekten bahsi geçen hastalıklar ve bunun bir insanın psikolojisine yapabilecekleri üzerine olsaydı daha başarılı bir kitap olabileceğini düşünüyorum ama bunun yerine kitabın içine bence çok gereksiz, kitabın hitap ettiği kitleye de uymayan detaylar eklemişti. Bir de kitaba ilham olan kitaptan bahsedilen yerler vardı ki onlarda da çok fazla tekrara düşülmüş ve kitabın akıcılığı gölgelenmişti. Bu yüzden ne yazık ki ben çok fazla sevdiğimi söyleyemeyeceğim ama kitabı eğlenerek okuduğumu ve beni okuyamama halinden çıkardığını söyleyebilirim. Dili çok basit olsa da itici değildi ve akıcı bir kitaptı. Esas karakterler arasındaki ilişki yer yer klişeye çok fazla yaklaşmıştı ama genel olarak baktığımızda tatlı oldukları söylenebilir.
Kıyaslama yapmak istemiyorum ve aslında yapmamam gerektiğinin farkındayım ama bu kitabı okurken hissettiklerim bir John Green kitabını düşündüğümde hissettiklerimden çok uzaktı. Onun kitapları yanında çok basit ve yüzeysel geldi. Belki de bu yüzden beni çok fazla etkilemedi ama sizi yormayacak, çok fazla üzmeyecek, çok hafif de olsa düşündürecek bir kitap arıyorsanız Kalbim Binlere Katıldığında'yı tavsiye edebilirim.
October 18, 2017
This book did an excellent job of making me care about its characters. Alvie is a 17-year old girl with Asperger's, and her journey is one that is emotional and awful and beautiful. I so rooted for her!
I'm so glad that books like this one and TV shows like Atypical are depicting those on the autism scale who seem often misunderstood and mistreated. It feels like a small glimpse into their lives, and I appreciated this book's unflinching look there.
This is great story that truly moved me - I hope everyone picks it up.
I'm so glad that books like this one and TV shows like Atypical are depicting those on the autism scale who seem often misunderstood and mistreated. It feels like a small glimpse into their lives, and I appreciated this book's unflinching look there.
This is great story that truly moved me - I hope everyone picks it up.
March 1, 2018
This book is just straight up awkward, and I have no idea why it has starred reviews.
Maybe it's just me, but between the random animal sex facts and two main characters trying to force themselves to have sex to be "normal," the rest of the book was just buried by the awkward sexual situations.
On the other hand if autism, homelessness, and physical disabilities are your thing, mixed with unnecessary animal facts, you may really love this. For me, I was just glad when it was finally over.
Maybe it's just me, but between the random animal sex facts and two main characters trying to force themselves to have sex to be "normal," the rest of the book was just buried by the awkward sexual situations.
On the other hand if autism, homelessness, and physical disabilities are your thing, mixed with unnecessary animal facts, you may really love this. For me, I was just glad when it was finally over.
February 6, 2018
It's been a couple of weeks since I finished this book, and I've been struggling to find the words to write this review. It's often easier to write reviews for books that are flawed, but harder to write reviews for books that I loved, especially when they touched my heart in such a unique way. When My Heart Joins the Thousand is one of those books.
I feel like this book will fly under the radar this year, and this makes me wish that I had one of those blogs with thousands of readers so that I could share a rave review and instantly have thousands of people rush to their local bookstores to purchase this book. Alas, I am a small book blog, but my love for this book is REAL.
Our heroine, Alvie, is everything that I have ever hoped for in a contemporary YA heroine. She's fierce, determined, flawed and perfectly human. While it's apparent from the early pages of the story that Alvie struggles with fitting in, I loved that this is not the central aspect of the story. Although it is a book about mental health, it's more about the world not fitting with how Alvie sees and interprets the world around her, and her views are so genuine that her story tore my heart out again and again. I wanted to jump into the book and rage against the injustices that she faced, but I also tore through page after page, rooting for her along the way.
This book has it all. It's the sweetest love story, a story of both friendship and something more. It made me laugh, cry, rage and then run through the whole range of emotions all over again. When My Heart Joins the Thousand is truly one of those perfectly memorable books and one that will stick with you long after the last page has turned. Please run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore to get your hands on a copy -- I promise that you won't be disappointed.
Note: An egalley was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I feel like this book will fly under the radar this year, and this makes me wish that I had one of those blogs with thousands of readers so that I could share a rave review and instantly have thousands of people rush to their local bookstores to purchase this book. Alas, I am a small book blog, but my love for this book is REAL.
Our heroine, Alvie, is everything that I have ever hoped for in a contemporary YA heroine. She's fierce, determined, flawed and perfectly human. While it's apparent from the early pages of the story that Alvie struggles with fitting in, I loved that this is not the central aspect of the story. Although it is a book about mental health, it's more about the world not fitting with how Alvie sees and interprets the world around her, and her views are so genuine that her story tore my heart out again and again. I wanted to jump into the book and rage against the injustices that she faced, but I also tore through page after page, rooting for her along the way.
This book has it all. It's the sweetest love story, a story of both friendship and something more. It made me laugh, cry, rage and then run through the whole range of emotions all over again. When My Heart Joins the Thousand is truly one of those perfectly memorable books and one that will stick with you long after the last page has turned. Please run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore to get your hands on a copy -- I promise that you won't be disappointed.
Note: An egalley was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
May 19, 2021
I picked up this book because it is on the list of young adult texts for our state library awards for 2021. Halfway through, I was surprised, honestly, that it made it as a finalist. While it touches upon important issues surrounding neurodivergence, mental illness, poverty, and the survival of young people in extraordinarily difficult circumstances, all in all, I found it a very difficult read. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the author intends for the reader to feel discomfort and to need to look at something closely that perhaps it is easier to look away from. I’m grateful this book is written. I’m grateful that young adult readers will develop empathy from its central characters. Yet I’d hesitate to recommend it too readily.
August 6, 2018
"Becoming too attached too quickly can be just as detrimental as solitude."
"Love can make people irrational, cause them to behave stupidly and recklessly. Or worse. I don't associate love with safety or warmth; I associate it with fear, with losing control. With drowning."
"I want to make him understand that the scars don't matter, the pain and fear doesn't matter, because he is my life mate and I know that in every cell of my body."
Soundtrack: I Knew This Would Be Love by Imaginary Future
"Love can make people irrational, cause them to behave stupidly and recklessly. Or worse. I don't associate love with safety or warmth; I associate it with fear, with losing control. With drowning."
"I want to make him understand that the scars don't matter, the pain and fear doesn't matter, because he is my life mate and I know that in every cell of my body."
Soundtrack: I Knew This Would Be Love by Imaginary Future
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May 27, 2019I'm so torn about this book as a disabled person. On one hand, there was some decent-ish disability rep, but on the other hand, some of it was stereotypical and my biggest issue that there's a loooot of internalized ableism that was not really appropriately dealt with and it just rubbed me the wrong way. :/
August 20, 2019
I liked the honesty of the book and the characters it introduced us to. I do think that that honesty is also the book weak point sometimes and the book sins of being too blunt but it goes with one the characters having Asperger syndrome and it feels very real. I always love quirky characters.
June 16, 2022
This is a beautiful book about two people figuring out personhood and falling in love. The characters felt true and realistic, and the way the learned to deal with their trauma was healthy. This book makes me want to be a better person.
February 28, 2023
Historia przepiękna
May 11, 2022
I suppose I should start out by saying that I am not on the spectrum and I also don't have a chronic condition like Stanley's, so I'm not sure how authentic the rep is in this story. But it was very eye-opening for me and it felt very authentic to me. I would be very interested to read the opinions of those who would better know what an authentic rep should be like.
But I honestly loved this story. In some ways, this was a pretty heavy book because of the topics that were covered, and my heart especially hurt when reading about the bullying that Alvie had to deal with, both from the ignorant as well as those who were small-minded and deliberately vicious. But despite the hard moments, there were moments of humor and sweetness that made me laugh out loud and tear up. I was a huge fan of both Alvie and Stanley and loved Alvie's narration. She was honest, kind, and absolutely empathic, especially toward animals. She was also fierce and there were so many moments when I wanted to affirm her to her face. Stanley, too, was amazingly kind and thoughtful and watching them find each other and lift each other up was just a wonderful thing to read.
Some people may have found the pacing on the slow side, but I really felt it fit the story. Both Alvie and Stanley had been through so much that I think they had to take the time to learn about each other, and about themselves, as seen through the eyes of the other. It was a joy to see each of them come to some sort of realization about themself.
Overall, I found this story to be very heartwarming, emotional, sometimes intense, and sometimes very funny. I definitely recommend this story!
But I honestly loved this story. In some ways, this was a pretty heavy book because of the topics that were covered, and my heart especially hurt when reading about the bullying that Alvie had to deal with, both from the ignorant as well as those who were small-minded and deliberately vicious. But despite the hard moments, there were moments of humor and sweetness that made me laugh out loud and tear up. I was a huge fan of both Alvie and Stanley and loved Alvie's narration. She was honest, kind, and absolutely empathic, especially toward animals. She was also fierce and there were so many moments when I wanted to affirm her to her face. Stanley, too, was amazingly kind and thoughtful and watching them find each other and lift each other up was just a wonderful thing to read.
Some people may have found the pacing on the slow side, but I really felt it fit the story. Both Alvie and Stanley had been through so much that I think they had to take the time to learn about each other, and about themselves, as seen through the eyes of the other. It was a joy to see each of them come to some sort of realization about themself.
Overall, I found this story to be very heartwarming, emotional, sometimes intense, and sometimes very funny. I definitely recommend this story!
April 18, 2019
WOW this book ahhhh my heart is in a tattered heap on the floor now
+ MY HEART
+ This is SLOW, okay, which could've been an issue but ultimately was not? I just grew so attached to the characters and the storyline that I was hooked
+ Stanley and Alvie warmed my heart; neither
+ autistic rep!! I am not autistic, but from what I've read from autistic reviewers it's pretty good rep.
+ Alvie also has PTSD!
+ also physical disability rep! Stanley has a skeletal disorder where he breaks bones easily
+ neither of them ever tried to change, or "fix" the other, they were so wholly accepting and kind and understanding and I just am so soft <3 <3
+ this can be a difficult read at times! Alvie's story isn't necessarily happy for a lot of it and it really opens your eyes to different situations
+ also doesn't quite read like YA, imo? But maybe it's because Alvie herself is trying for emancipation and although she's only 17, she pays her own rent, lives alone, works, etc. Truthfully I could totally see her being aged up a little and it might've fit better but regardless, I enjoyed reading this!
trigger warnings: drowning, abuse, ableism, assault, PTSD, suicide
+ MY HEART
+ This is SLOW, okay, which could've been an issue but ultimately was not? I just grew so attached to the characters and the storyline that I was hooked
+ Stanley and Alvie warmed my heart; neither
+ autistic rep!! I am not autistic, but from what I've read from autistic reviewers it's pretty good rep.
+ Alvie also has PTSD!
+ also physical disability rep! Stanley has a skeletal disorder where he breaks bones easily
+ neither of them ever tried to change, or "fix" the other, they were so wholly accepting and kind and understanding and I just am so soft <3 <3
+ this can be a difficult read at times! Alvie's story isn't necessarily happy for a lot of it and it really opens your eyes to different situations
+ also doesn't quite read like YA, imo? But maybe it's because Alvie herself is trying for emancipation and although she's only 17, she pays her own rent, lives alone, works, etc. Truthfully I could totally see her being aged up a little and it might've fit better but regardless, I enjoyed reading this!
trigger warnings: drowning, abuse, ableism, assault, PTSD, suicide
November 20, 2018
Jeder von uns ist ein Rätsel von A.J. Steiger ist leider noch nicht so präsent in den sozialen Medien wie es eigentlich sein müsste. Das Buch beschäftigt sich mit dem Thema Autismus und ist deshalb ein sehr wichtiger Titel der unbedingt mehr Aufmerksamkeit braucht.
In dem Buch geht es um Alvie,die es relativ schwer hat soziale Kontakte zu knüpfen da sie an einer Form des Autismus leidet: Asperger! Sie ist intelligent, sehr zurückhaltend, mit Emotionen kann sie wenig anfangen aber mit Tieren kommt sie super zurecht. Alvie hat es geschafft sich ein geordnetes und routiniertes Leben aufzubauen, dies ändert sich als sie Stanley kennen lernt. Von diesem Moment an beginnt für die beiden eine Zeit die nicht nur Ihr Leben auf den Kopf stellt sondern auch ihre Ansichten auf das Leben, Trauer Schmerz aber auch die Liebe in ein anderes Licht rückt.
Die Geschichte ist so authentisch und spannend geschrieben wie ich es schon lange nicht mehr erlebt habe. Da wir in der Familie selbst ein Kind mit Asperger haben konnte ich mich sehr gut in Alvie hinein versetzten und Ihre Besonderheiten nachempfinden. Die Autorin schafft es sehr gut die Krankheit in all ihren Facetten zu beschreiben. Durch Alltagssituationen zeigt sie welche Probleme Alvie hat und wie die Gesellschaft mit solchen Menschen umgeht. Die beiden Protagonisten sind so tiefgründig, intelligent und stark geworden das man gar nicht aufhören möchte zu lesen um zu sehen wie sie Ihre Probleme angehen. Denn nicht nur Alvie hat Probleme im Alltag auch Stanley hat es nicht leicht gehabt im Leben. Die beiden versuchen, jeder auf seine Art, dem anderen zu helfen. Es ist gerade zu unglaublich wie die beiden Charaktere langsam zusammen finden und durch ihre Situation aber auch wieder von einander abdriften. Man begleitet dieses tolle Pärchen auf dem Weg in Ihre eigenen Normalität.
Was mir gut gefallen hat ist das in dem Buch Liebe nicht als Allheilmittel angesehen wird, sondern das Liebe eben auch ein großes Problem sein kann wenn man nicht mit sich selbst zufrieden ist.
In dem Buch geht es um Alvie,die es relativ schwer hat soziale Kontakte zu knüpfen da sie an einer Form des Autismus leidet: Asperger! Sie ist intelligent, sehr zurückhaltend, mit Emotionen kann sie wenig anfangen aber mit Tieren kommt sie super zurecht. Alvie hat es geschafft sich ein geordnetes und routiniertes Leben aufzubauen, dies ändert sich als sie Stanley kennen lernt. Von diesem Moment an beginnt für die beiden eine Zeit die nicht nur Ihr Leben auf den Kopf stellt sondern auch ihre Ansichten auf das Leben, Trauer Schmerz aber auch die Liebe in ein anderes Licht rückt.
Die Geschichte ist so authentisch und spannend geschrieben wie ich es schon lange nicht mehr erlebt habe. Da wir in der Familie selbst ein Kind mit Asperger haben konnte ich mich sehr gut in Alvie hinein versetzten und Ihre Besonderheiten nachempfinden. Die Autorin schafft es sehr gut die Krankheit in all ihren Facetten zu beschreiben. Durch Alltagssituationen zeigt sie welche Probleme Alvie hat und wie die Gesellschaft mit solchen Menschen umgeht. Die beiden Protagonisten sind so tiefgründig, intelligent und stark geworden das man gar nicht aufhören möchte zu lesen um zu sehen wie sie Ihre Probleme angehen. Denn nicht nur Alvie hat Probleme im Alltag auch Stanley hat es nicht leicht gehabt im Leben. Die beiden versuchen, jeder auf seine Art, dem anderen zu helfen. Es ist gerade zu unglaublich wie die beiden Charaktere langsam zusammen finden und durch ihre Situation aber auch wieder von einander abdriften. Man begleitet dieses tolle Pärchen auf dem Weg in Ihre eigenen Normalität.
Was mir gut gefallen hat ist das in dem Buch Liebe nicht als Allheilmittel angesehen wird, sondern das Liebe eben auch ein großes Problem sein kann wenn man nicht mit sich selbst zufrieden ist.
February 4, 2019
Alvie ist 17 Jahre alt, allein lebend und hat einen Job im Tierpark. Sie würde gern rechtlich für volljährig erklärt werden, damit sie nie wieder Angst haben müsste zu einer Pflegefamilie zurück zu kehren oder gar in ein Heim. Ihr Sozialarbeiter unterstützt sie in diesem Vorhaben, rät ihr aber auch Freunde zu finden, soziale Kontakte zu knüpfen. Doch erstens weiß Alvie gar nicht wozu das gut sein sollte und zweitens hatte sie noch nie Freunde - wie lernt man die überhaupt kennen? Da fällt ihr ein Junge auf, der im selben Park wie sie rumhängt.
Das Buch erzählt Alvies Geschichte aus der Ich-Perspektive, und der Leser lernt sie ziemlich gut kennen - und in meinem Fall auch lieben. Doch auch über Stanley erfahren wir im Verlauf des Buches immer mehr. Auch sein Leben war bisher kein Zuckerschlecken, auch er lebt allein, auch er hat Narben - in seinem Fall nicht nur im übertragenen Sinne. Jeder von ihnen ist sich selbst und vor allem der Umwelt ein Rätsel, aber zusammen funktionieren sie erstaunlich gut. Meistens jedenfalls.
In der Kurzbeschreibung steht, dass ihr gemeinsamer Weg 'zum Teil sehr komisch' ist. Finde ich überhaupt nicht, da ist so gar nichts Humorvolles in dem Roman, noch nicht mal unfreiwillig lustig wie es beim "Rosie Projekt" oft war. Aber das machte das Buch in meinen Augen nicht weniger gut (auch wenn ich solche kleinen witzigen Momente durchaus schätze). Ich fand es bewegend, erschreckend, berührend, aber vor allem unheimlich spannend zu lesen, wie Alvie ihr Leben meistert.
Das Cover finde ich eher unscheinbar, und ich bin wirklich froh dass ich dennoch neugierig genug war um die Kurzbeschreibung zu lesen - und mich daraufhin dann auch für das Buch entschieden habe. Im Nachhinein kann ich die Illustration auf dem Cover auch verstehen, das Original gefällt mir dennoch etwas besser - auch wenn das sicher ein bißchen andere Erwartungen an den Inhalt weckt.
Das Buch erzählt Alvies Geschichte aus der Ich-Perspektive, und der Leser lernt sie ziemlich gut kennen - und in meinem Fall auch lieben. Doch auch über Stanley erfahren wir im Verlauf des Buches immer mehr. Auch sein Leben war bisher kein Zuckerschlecken, auch er lebt allein, auch er hat Narben - in seinem Fall nicht nur im übertragenen Sinne. Jeder von ihnen ist sich selbst und vor allem der Umwelt ein Rätsel, aber zusammen funktionieren sie erstaunlich gut. Meistens jedenfalls.
In der Kurzbeschreibung steht, dass ihr gemeinsamer Weg 'zum Teil sehr komisch' ist. Finde ich überhaupt nicht, da ist so gar nichts Humorvolles in dem Roman, noch nicht mal unfreiwillig lustig wie es beim "Rosie Projekt" oft war. Aber das machte das Buch in meinen Augen nicht weniger gut (auch wenn ich solche kleinen witzigen Momente durchaus schätze). Ich fand es bewegend, erschreckend, berührend, aber vor allem unheimlich spannend zu lesen, wie Alvie ihr Leben meistert.
Das Cover finde ich eher unscheinbar, und ich bin wirklich froh dass ich dennoch neugierig genug war um die Kurzbeschreibung zu lesen - und mich daraufhin dann auch für das Buch entschieden habe. Im Nachhinein kann ich die Illustration auf dem Cover auch verstehen, das Original gefällt mir dennoch etwas besser - auch wenn das sicher ein bißchen andere Erwartungen an den Inhalt weckt.
February 9, 2018
I absolutely loved this book. It's an unconventional love story between two imperfect people. Alvie is hard to like (she's not good with people at all) and Stanley is incredibly shy and both bear scars from their respective families. Life has not been particularly kind to either of them. And yet, they've managed to carve out their spaces in the world. When they meet, they manage to form a friendship that---of course, right?---becomes something else.
And yet this love story defies expectations at every turn. It broke my heart and made me smile and was exactly the story I needed. I cannot recommend it fiercely enough.
June 18, 2018
♥ Find my reviews here: Literary Meanderings
- - -
As a sort of disclaimer before this review: I just want to say that I am in no way able to review this as someone who personally understands either Asperger's or the medical condition Stanley suffers from, as I have neither. I can only review this book as an outsider looking in. :)
That being said, I loved this book!
Alvie was a lovely character. She is 17 years old and seeking emancipation so that she can avoid being “in the system” until she is 18. She is simple, yet complex. She loves animals and identifies with the rabbit(s) in the book Watership Down. In many ways, Alvie is like them; trying to survive in a harsh world where things are working against you. I can see why she loves and quotes this book so much in When My Heart Joins the Thousand. The story is a big source of strength for Alvie.
We go through a good portion of the book knowing that Alvie isn't like most girls her age, but not having an actual name for what is different about her (I refuse to say "wrong" with her, because it isn't wrong to be different). Ignorant people (kids/teens) in the book refer to her as “retarded” or make fun of her for simply being “weird”. It was apparent to me, personally, that she was somewhere within the autism spectrum, but I don't know enough about it to have pinned it down. This book inspired me to read more about it, and I found out that Asperger's has only recently been considered to be within the spectrum of autism. I will say this: I do work with someone with Asperger's. He's 21 years old, so not TOO much older than Alvie. Alvie portrayed similar characteristics to this person. So, for me, when it was finally unveiled, it all made sense. I don't know everything about Asperger's, but based on my limited knowledge, I thought Alvie was portrayed very well.
As for where her parents went? Well, I am ashamed to say I don't remember any mention of her father. I know he wasn't in the book, but I don't remember if he died or left the family. BUT, there is a lot of flashback on Alvie and her mother. The story is actually quite tragic and sad. Alvie's mother struggled greatly with having an autistic daughter. She couldn't understand it and just decided to medicate the hell out of Alvie and make things worse. Eventually, things take a terrible turn, and this ends with her mother dying and leaving Alvie in search of emancipation. I very much enjoyed the flashback elements of the story. It made me feel so much sympathy and empathy for Alvie that I was in tears. It was so important to the story and so well done on the author's part.
I think it is important to note that, regardless of her having Asperger's, Alvie was able to live independently. She is proof that you don't have to be held back by something like this. She had her own apartment, a job, and eventually, a romantic relationship. Did she have struggles? ABSOLUTELY. But who doesn't? I cry at work at least once a week due to severe anxiety. We all struggle. What matters is what we do when faced with these challenges. So, when Alvie loses her job, she applies at every place she can in search of a new job. She works very hard to make sure she can pay her bills, just like everyone else. She is different, but she is not. I think a bit part of this story was highlighting the fact that she, and others like her, can do anything we can do. They can live a full, productive life.
Let's touch on the romance, shall we? It was realistically awkward and adorable. Alvie first discovers Stanley when she begins to see him in a park she frequents daily. One of these days, he's visibly upset and throws his phone into a pond. Alvie decides to fish it out after he leaves and fixes it. She then ends up emailing him to say HEY, I SAVED YOUR PHONE FROM AN UNTIMELY DEATH. The two talk via internet for awhile and become friends. Eventually the two meet in person. Alvie has a certain proposition for Stanley, and this sparks a more intimate relationship. The two of them struggle through this relationship for many reasons—some of it due to Alvie, some of it not—but they ultimately work it out and it is beautiful. The two of them find comfort and strength in the other. They have a special romance that is unlike any other I've read about before. I loved it and it even brought me to tears when I was nearing the end of the book. Just lovely.
The only negative I have for this book is that the story itself seemed to drag a bit at times, slowing down a lot in places. It wasn't a big deal, clearly, but worth mentioning.
Overall, this book is just amazing! The characters are so very unique and lovable. I was extremely invested in their stories both together and apart. I think this book is a wonderful example of a strong female character overcoming obstacle after obstacle and still coming out on top. The entire story is very emotionally moving and deeply touching. I definitely recommend it for everyone. :)
- - -
Book source: Via publisher for review
Publisher: HarperTeen
• For more of my reviews, check out my blog!
June 10, 2018
Two fragile people combine to create a stronger whole. Most honest romance I've read in years. Fans of Matthew Quick, have a look.
September 18, 2022
Naprawdę fajna młodzieżówka.
February 9, 2024
Świetna była, co prawda ten napad w którym straciła robotę i miała tego ptaka w mieszkaniu trochę mnie zdenerwował bo 200 stron książki walczyła o samodzielność a jak ją dostała to takie coś ale i tak się ta sytuacja nie umywa się do całej książki, to będzie jedna z moich ulubionych książek z DKK
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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