Sometimes I'm So Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person

NoHope universe

by Graham Parke

Anyone can be forgotten. No matter how wonderful they are, no matter how unlikely they brim with kindness and inner beauty, you can get over anyone. The only trick is really wanting to.

This what Harold believes. He has no choice…

Severe introvert by day, misguided dating guru by night, Harold starts a Youtube channel to workshop his elaborate strategies for seducing Emma, the girl of his dreams. But when he finally works up the courage to ask her out, he discovers that Emma is only using him to get fodder for her own dating blog – the one she’s set up to test ways to seduce Leopold.

As it turns out, Leopold is actually one of Harold’s dedicated followers. When he savagely misunderstands and mis-applies Harold’s advice, he suddenly finds himself hugely successful with the ladies, Emma included.

Faced with this strange new problem, Harold comes up with what he believes to be the strategy to end all strategies.

Genres: Fiction, Humor

162 pages, Paperback

Published May 8, 2017

About the author

Forewords Book of the Year winner, Kirkus Indie Best-Lister, EPIC, IBA, and NY Literary Magazine finalist, Graham Parke is responsible for a number of bewildering publications and has recently attempted to patent a self-folding map. He has been described as both a humanitarian and a pathological liar. Convincing evidence to support either allegation has yet to be produced.

The award winning "NoHope universe" series is his fiction debut.

Reviews

[Evelina | AvalinahsBooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leverage is a Youtube video blogger who gives guys advice on how to approach The One. But frankly? It would be better if he didn't. Because Lev lives with his mom, who grounds him at pretty much age 30 and he has absolutely no connection with the realities of life. Unfortunately, Lev should be taking his own advice, cause he is in love with Emma. Which he dutifully does, to his credit. But for some reason, it's not working out...

So that's what it about. How much I liked it? Well... The book wasn't funny, although maybe it was supposed to. It was also supposed to show the main character as a guy completely oblivious to realities of life and the female mind. However... I don't believe he was written well enough to come across that way. Sometimes he just seemed normal, relatable. Sometimes it seemed like the author actually believes all this stereotypical stuff that he writes about women, and as a woman? It made me kind of annoyed (hey, I hate shoe shopping. And I don't like being talked about as some unknowable species, easily influenced by a change of mood. I'm a person, please and thank you.)

In the end, the story does take a quite turn and has quite a satisfying and surprising ending. It comes off being deeper than I had expected from this book. However... I still don't feel like it saves it for me. Very barely, 3 stars. I don't think this is Graham Parke's first book, but it feels like it could be. Parke has potential, but I didn't quite see it in this book.

I thank Graham Parke for providing me with a free copy of the book in exchange to my honest review. Sorry it wasn't a very good one!

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[gj indieBRAG · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are proud to announce that SOMETIMES I'M SO SMART I ALMOST FEEL LIKE A REAL PERSON by Graham Parke is a B.R.A.G.Medallion Honoree. This tells readers that this book is well worth their time and money!

[Melon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious! An easy, fun read. If you loved "A Confederacy of Dunces," I'd say you're highly likely to love this book as well. At first I was worried that it was going to be TOO similar, too the point of being completely derivitive. After all, the protagonist is a total neckbeard who is convinced of his own superiority, speaks condescendingly to almost everyone, and lives with his overwhelming mother. Fortunately, the novel differentiated itself mightily from ACOD, despite what seemed to be a constant homage barrage to that "hero". I laughed out loud at several lines of dialogue, and it really drew me in and made me want to keep turning pages, all the way to the end. The characters were endearing; I would have to say bafflingly so, in fact. There's so much not to like, but you I couldn't help rooting for and commiserating with them. It was a fairly quick read, so even if you hate it, you won't have wasted much of your life. If I see another Graham Parke novel when I'm out at Half Price Books, I'm definitely pick it up.

Lastly, full disclosure--the author contacted me and asked me if I would be willing to read and review this book, and sent me a free copy (which I greatly appreciate!) in exchange for this unbiased review. That being said, he found me and was seeking out others by choosing people who had given great reviews to A Confederacy of Dunces, which as I mentioned, this book is awfully similar to. So this may artificially inflate this book's ratings early on; I don't know and couldn't say, as I don't know much about the book business. If you ask me, it's a pretty clever idea. Whatever; I really enjoyed it.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Yes, these are the survival skills of the modern man. Forget about hunting and gathering, killing alphas who covet our females, warring with tribes who worship the wrong deities, our survival skills are reduced to finding the path of least resistance when communicating with other humans."

In the same vein as The Rosie Project and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, this novel was funny, quirky, and original. Leverage creates YouTube vlogs giving advice to other awkward men to sweep The One off her feet. When he's not online he's trying his best to navigate an overwhelming and confusing world. After meeting with some of his online followers he muses "I don't often spend this much time with humans in social situations so I was worried it'd prove too taxing, but I survived."

With many laugh-out-loud moments throughout this book, Leverage's other wise-ism include "We should just feel bad for all the beautiful people; they don't get much of a chance to struggle."

I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys quirky characters, or comical easy reads.

[Georgiann Hennelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harold is great at giving relationship advice in fact he has a relationship vlog on you tube with many followers. But he lacks the courage to follow his own advice in order to get a girlfriend. Harold works for an accounting firm and he lives with his sometimes overly helpful mother. He has a major crush on Emma a girl he works with. So when he finally gets up the courage to talk to her , he is surprised by her answers. He thinks maybe he might have a shot at a relationship with her after all. But his dream is short lived. As Emma has her sights set on one of Harold's You Tube Vlog followers. Can Harold prove to Emma that he is the man for her? Or will she chose the other guy who learned everything from Harold?

[Cynthia Mello · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book

This book was very entertaining. It kept me laughing quite a bit. As weird and funny as his thoughts and blogs were. Between the mom with her antics, and the craziness. It really ended up being a great story in the end. I really , really enjoyed it. What a brilliant author. Thanks for the fun book.

[Kimmie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow that was one funny book! This book was so thought out and well-written. I really enjoyed this book.
This story is about Leverage, also known as Harold. This is a funny story about his life. And how he is trying to make it in a world that seems to be out to get him. He still lives with his mother but he is not in any hurry to move out. He has a good job making good money, but he dose not seem to have the desire to live on his own just yet. He has a hobby to if you can call a Youtube channel a hobby. But he seems to have fun at it even though it is a little strange. You see the channel offers relationships advice and how to pick up women. But there is one problem in that in fact that Leverage does not have luck with the ladies himself. This makes the book all the more fun for it. he has a love interest, but he cannot seem to get her to see him as anything more than a friend. he speaks of her all the time. Then to his dismay a guy shows up trying all of the tricks he has suggested but the kick in the pants for him is. It is his girl he is after. Seems like he cannot catch a break.
Now before I ruin this for you I will leave off here. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did. If you do like this book, please consider leaving a review. The Authors really like it when you do; they value your opinions too.

[Leticia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like it, it is a funny book about relationships and how to keep going on life.

[Norm Goldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first glance, I had some difficulty in figuring out what I would be in for in reading Graham Parke's Sometimes I'm so Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person. But within its two hundred and sixteen pages there exists a powerful reflective narrative that focuses on an extremely introverted young man and one who in Yiddish would be described as a “nebish,” (a person, especially a man, who is regarded as pitifully ineffectual, timid, or submissive).

Parke's principal character, Harold, who uses the pseudonym Leverage, has started a Youtube channel blog where he proffers advice, or as he prefers to call it, “wise-isms” to his followers as to how to seduce women. He describes his Youtube channel as one that chronicles his exploits charting out the human condition.

In reality, however, Harold is trying to work out a way to attract a young woman, Emma, who he is madly in love with and who is a saleslady in Ye Olde Peanut Shoppe that sells various varieties of nuts and in particular his favorite peppered Brazils. Harold strongly believes that “without Emma there is no Leverage, and Leverage has to survive in order to save lives, so this is all for the greater good.”

Some of Harold's followers are quite hostile and wonder out loud if people seriously take advice from this “moron,” as they describe him, or is it all one big joke? Nonetheless, he does have his supportive followers who can hardly wait for him to post his next “wise-ism,” and they also contribute their own personal thoughts to his Youtube channel. Incidentally, most of the chapters are prefaced with Harold's words of wisdom and observations such as “If you think about her too much, the girl in your head becomes more interesting than the girl in real life,” or “Apparently there's something about shoe-shaped objects that activates the pleasure centers of the female brain.”

To complicate matters, one of Harold's followers, Leopold enters into some kind of relationship with Emma and thus Harold begins to craft scripts that he describes as pure evil that will help him destroy their relationship. He believes that Leopold stole the relationship he believed he had with Emma from him.

Also woven into the plot is Harold's having to face his past and his meetings with his father who had abandoned his mother and himself when he was ten years of age.

Quite interesting and original about the book is the manner in which Parke imbues the narrative with astute and intelligent reflections such as his take on the state of being lonely. Harold contends that being lonely is being in the absence of a very specific person. It is someone whom you really like to be around and perhaps someone you may not see again. And to him this sucks big time. On the other hand, he describes being alone as when you are creating great art and watch good television and eat interesting food. He goes on to further explain the difference between the two which presents a great deal of something to chew on while providing to the reader an experience that is equally entertaining as well as thought provoking.

Harold's father, who suddenly reappears in his life, aptly describes Harold as a child, “as someone who had a flair for the dramatic.” He goes on to say “You had this strange, interesting way of looking at things. Your ideas always seemed so alien, so counter intuitive, but then you'd explain them to us, this little boy holding miniature lectures in the living room for his mom and dad, and suddenly it'd be impossible for us not to see the world through your eyes.”

Overall, the book is rich in its sensitive perception and engaging writing that brims with a great deal of humor and thoughtful observations.

Follow Here goo.gl/HRw2qt To Read Norm's Interview With Graham Parke

[Benjamin Espen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book for free from the author, Graham Parke, in exchange for a review.

Leverage [AKA Harold] is a loser. He's thirty-something, living at home with his mom, and invests all of his free time in his very low-rent YouTube channel dedicated to finding The One. [not even close to the current 1,000 follower monetization threshold] At the same time, I kind of like Leverage. He is a Millennial everyman, just trying to get by in a world that he didn't create.

I am a respecter of the principle Fake it Until you Make it, which has a venerable pedigree under other names. Leverage is definitely faking it. His YouTube channel, which gives out relationship advice for young men looking for their soulmate, is a comically inept mashup [parody?] of the kinds of things pickup artists say with a sweet innocence and naïveté that really is endearing. The snapshots of the comments on his videos in-between chapters really do have the feel of YouTube comments, a mix of fawning admiration and brutal, but unhinged, honesty.

I found the book a little slow to start. But this may just be a reflection of the quiet desperation of Leverage's life. He has a decent, but soul-crushing, corporate job. He lives with his mom, presumably because he lives somewhere expensive. It wasn't really spelled out in the book, but it felt like Toronto to me. He has also fallen deeply in love with the girl who sells nuts at the store in the mall.

Unfortunately for him, at the same time that Leverage is documenting his wise-isms about The One on YouTube, Emma, the nut girl, is friend-zoning Leverage so she can use him to test ideas for her dating blog. This is further complicated by the sudden appearance of Leopold, one of Leverage's fans, who since he lacks tact and good sense, simply bulls ahead and uses Leverage's techniques to good effect on Emma.

This is the obvious source of conflict and drama, and while I appreciate the dark humor of it, if this was all there was to the story, I couldn't really recommend the book. I do recommend the book, because Parke has done something far better than this.

Just as Leverage says in the beginning of the first chapter, he really is like moss, he grows on you when you aren't looking. The book, and Leverage, got better with time and reflection. He really is a good kid, and he has a way of looking at the world that allows him to see things afresh, not quite like anyone else. He really does have a gift.

It isn't his fault that his life was made a desolation, and called peace. Leverage's [and Harold's] slow journey to knowledge and wholeness is both devastating and sweet. This ended being a far better book than I expected.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A lot has happened since you left, Eric.

For one thing, I had to deal with this really bad break up. Not one to waste time, I immediately turned to my oldest and dearest friend: Google. After...countless generations suffered this fate before me...[all searching] for the best way to deal with the rejections, the heartache, and that longing to spend the days with [The One], it should be known by now.

Not so." ( ...opening paragraph in the preface)

First off, I loved this book.

As Harold begins to describe his story, it is obvious from the get-go that it's going to be somewhat of a Debbie-Downer.  However, the author has found a way to make loneliness and love-sickness amusing and entertaining. The book is written in a funny self-deprecating style and has the reader flipping pages to see what emotional hole Harold will dig for himself next.

Harold is a 30 year-old socially challenged accountant who still lives with his mother. Together they share a raucous relationship tempered with love. They rarely see eye-to-eye on anything. His mother is fond of reminding him that it is her house. Harold is quick to point out that he pays rent like any boarder and expects his privacy. Sparks fly and doors slam. The house creaks with secrets that neither one wants to admit are there.

Mom recognizes that Harold has social issues and presses him to date or make friends but goes about it in all the wrong ways. Yet her interference does reap rewards in its own way. Here's one of my favorite lines:

"When I arrive [home from work], Mom's already complaining. Sometimes I think she starts before she even opens the door, perhaps warming up by telling the wall to stop slouching and stand up straight."

The failure to find the answer to his love-sick blues on Google leads Harold to set up his own YouTube video blog.  He first calls it: How to get over someone in 600 easy steps. After reflection he changed it to 27 simple steps to happiness.  Each carefully scripted message is a 5 minute vblog narrated anonymously by disguising his face with a Zorro mask and adopting the online name of Leverage.

Despite his hope to spread his "wise-isms" anonymously, he is discovered by several of his followers. Each discovery leads Harold down another road less traveled in his life. One of his followers, using his "wise-isms" becomes a rival to Harold's best hope for love. The charming and flirtatious sales clerk, Emma, at the Ye Olde Peanut Shoppe strings Harold along by tweeting all day but giving him the Heisman when pressed for a real date. He becomes so obsessed with Emma that he begins imaginary dialogues with her.

Harold's wild emotional roller coaster relationship with Emma goes from heart pounding infatuation to friendship fatigue. He eventually finds out about her boyfriend and the futility of his hopes. When she continues to text he begins weaning himself away from her.

"So that was Part One of my story, Eric.

I hope you understand why I had no choice but to divert all mental resources away from "attracting The One" and on to something much more important."

There's less snark and more heartfelt substance in Part Two. He has discovered that what he felt for Emma was just a pipe-dream. Now having cleared his mind of mischief he faces several issues in his life that were in limbo. If I elaborate, it would be a spoiler. Best you find out things for yourself. The tone becomes more serious but no less engaging.

The book ended with a few loose threads but not enough to detract from my overall enjoyment. Aside from the quirky repartees, I liked that Harold "found himself".

Recommended to any reader who love quirky and comical characters.

[Emilie Sovis · Rating 3 out of 5]

An odd tale with an odd title, “Sometimes I’m So Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person,” is a competently written, comedic tale of a YouTube mini-star trying to teach young men the “secrets” of women. The writing style is witty and sharp, with genuinely funny lines and a fantastic intro. Unlike many novels set in the current day, technology and popular websites are woven into the story naturally and organically, not feeling forced or out of place.

The story itself was somewhat weaker, seeming very much to be a story about pursuing women from an exclusively male perspective. While the main character doesn’t see himself as a “pick up artist,” his advice and approach is rather similar to those who do profess “pick up artistry.” Perhaps this was just not the story for me, but there is something uncomfortable about having the main character and his followers online adhere to the idea that you need to wait for women to admit that they like you. While I do not think our lead was to be venerated or looked up to, he perhaps could have been written more distanced from the tropes of dating advice that he claims to disapprove of -- and the "women are mysterious beings" trope of bygone days.

Other than the specter of objectification, the story was charming enough, largely exploring how our lead’s faux-inflated-ego clashes with the rest of his life, how his fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude isn’t always what it seems, and how he himself is not as much the master of all things he sometimes thinks he is.

[Bridget Hopper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harold is a self-described love expert.  He runs a YouTube channel and isn’t interested in helping men find dates, his objective is to help viewers entice the One.  You know, the one girl that a man sees as marriage material.  

Even though Harold is great at giving advice, he lacks the courage to apply his own ideas with the opposite sex.  For example, he is completely smitten with Emma.  He makes numerous trips to the peanut store in the mall just to see her.
When he finally works up the nerve to really talk to her, he is surprised by her responses and believes that something might happen between them.  His excitement is to be short-lived.  His dream girl has her eyes set on another.  This guy just happens to be one of Harold’s YouTube followers.

Will Harold be able to show Emma that he is the right man for her?  Or will she choose the other guy?  The one who learned everything from Harold himself…

Harold is a likeable character with many distinctive traits.  He is aware of his incredible knack for digging into the female psyche and prides himself regarding this knowledge.

I was instantly sucked into this book.  It is engaging,  witty and wildly entertaining.  I highly recommend Sometimes I'm So Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person to anyone who enjoys reading. - See more at: http://www.readaholicblog.com/2017/06...

[Marietta Slater · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author reached out to me and asked me to read/review this book. 20 year olds can identify better than I did; however, I found myself laughing/grinning in places. Meet Leverage (his vlogger name). His video blogs are all about meeting and obtaining The One. He is braver on these video blogs than he is in real person. Some of his advice is downright zany which does add a lot of humor to this book. His “The One” is Emma who works in a nut shop in the mall. I find the nut shop is appropriate setting as Leverage is nuts at times. Emma, unbeknownst to Leverage, also gives online advice.
While I did enjoy the plot, what I didn’t enjoy was the language and the disrespect between son and his mom. There is enough disrespect shown to older people without our young people reading and thinking it is the norm. It isn’t. For this reason I’m only giving this book 3 stars.
There was a twist in this book that I didn’t see coming!

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from the author in exchange for my honest review. I absolutely loved it right up until the end when I felt like there were several things left unresolved. I don't like to post spoilers, so I won't go into detail, but for me the story just sort of stopped without really ending. But let's not focus on the negative...

Even though the ending was somewhat disappointing, I still felt like I had to give this book 4 stars. It had me laughing out loud several times. Especially chapter 30. I wouldn't call it a particularly great story, and I didn't even like the main character, Harold, all that much. In the end there some explanation of why he is the way he is, but he really isn't a very nice person at all.

I guess I would call this story a bit of a tragedy, but it is quite hilarious in the process. I really enjoyed it a lot.

[Doris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Graham Parke has a style all his own. I loved being drawn in by quirky character Harold/Leverage, who seems a completely delusional nerd who can, ironically, impart brilliant words of wisdom. But just when you’ve let the whacky humor fool you into expectations, Parke brings a wonderful depth to the plot and character that squeezes your heart and makes this a worthwhile read—as deeply touching as it is delightfully zany. It takes skill and a clever mind to pull that off and Parke has both. I loved the shout-out to Gomez from Parke’s earlier “No Hope for Gomez,” (another treat) and I thought the crossed-out text in the character’s stream-of-consciousness vlog entries an inspired bit of craftsmanship.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very amusing book - if you like the type of humor in The Rosie Project, then you will definitely enjoy this book. Harold was a quirky and unusual character and I actually laughed out loud while reading the book. I would have liked further explanation about Harold's father and the incident that cause him to leave (I don't want to give to much away) and I felt that storyline wasn't even necessary. But overall I really enjoyed the book and would recommend it you are looking for a book that will make you laugh.

The author was kind enough to give me a copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read on the recommendation from other books. This is recommended for people who enjoyed the Rosie Project. I should have known based on that that I would enjoy aspects of this book and never be comfortable with others. Some of the parts that I think are meant to be light hearted and funny felt a little too simultaneously painful. I was pleased with how real the author kept the plot progression and many of the characters. I really disliked the air of mystery about Eric that was never fully resolved. I liked it enough to keep picking it up and reading it through to the end.

[April Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be laugh out loud funny, but it also made me cry towards the end.
I loved the main character and really felt for him throughout the whole novel.
It's well worth a read and has some delightful nods to the Gomez books included. In fact, if you haven't read them yet, maybe give them a go first, though it isn't really necessary, it will make you laugh even more!

[Joanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very fun book to read. You are rooting for Leverage to find his way with love. There is some somewhat solid advice about such, but you are hoping that he gets there solidly.
I have definitely decided to put more of Graham Parke's books on my to-be-read list.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars...review to come!

[Ana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this E-book "Sometimes I'm so Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person" (whew! the book title is long) from the author (Graham Parke) in exchange for an honest review. I'll rate this E-book 3.5 out of 5. It is interesting enough, quirky enough and sometimes funny too.

Please check out my full review on my blog anacskiesbookishmusings.wordpress.com.

[Lori Tatar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished reading Sometimes Im so Smart I Almost Feel Like a Real Person from Graham Parke. It is about a socially awkward young man who works at an accounting firm, lives with his sometimes overly helpful mother and has his own relationship vlog on YouTube. He tries to keep the vlog anonymous and uses a pseudonym but some of his fans are able to figure out who he is, including one particularly important one.

While he is busy crushing on a cute girl who works at the nut shop in the mall, there is actually a lot more going on, including things he is not even aware of. Ironically, one of those things is that one of his fans is using what he's learned from the blog to court the nut shop girl. Still, the story turns out to be less a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac than a glimpse into the several facets of the protagonist's life.

The author is effective at keeping the serious stuff buried under the more mundane, yet seemingly important, issues. Without offering any spoilers here, just be aware that there is more to this book than first appears. In fact, the real substance doesn't come until the very end. The dialogue and narrative are still fun enough to keep the story rolling, even before knowing everything that will become part of the tale. There are quite a few words of wisdom throughout, some that left me laughing out loud.