2.5 stars
* Received an early copy in exchange for a review
One of the things I dislike about writing a review, is that I am worried my thoughts and feelings won't come across as I intend them. I don't want readers, nor the author, to think I am being picky or trying to tear down their work. I'm just simply giving my reasons for my ratings just as I would do for a book I loved. It's easy when I absolutely LOVE a book, it's easy to convey why, but when a book just doesn't do it for me, it's almost hard to pinpoint that exact reason, except with this one. I can pinpoint a few key reasons, again for ME, and what took me off guard personally.
Although this story was an ok one, I think had the potential to be an epic one (for me at least) but there are just several things, that just prevented me from really liking the story as a whole. I love other books by this author and Sloth really gutted me, and i was hoping for that same feelings with this one, as I know she loves to throw her readers for a loop and take them on an emotional journey. That just didn't happen for me.
*Warning - going any further and content ~could~ be considered spoilers, proceed with caution. ...
The first thing is that I never felt a strong romantic connection between the characters when they were younger, when Amelia 'fell in love' with Dash. They had known each other since she was six and him nine, she was best friends with his sister. She would have sleepovers there, swim in their pool, climb out on the roof with them both and star gaze, things that friends do. At age 15, Amelia starts to think her feelings towards dash change and now is in love with the boy next door, the boy she can't have, the boy who is 18 and leaving for college, the boy who broke her heart. When he left, he never wrote or called her, didn't see her till the summer he came back home and seen her at a party. (Again still 15 & 18).
That night at the party, he took her virginity. Well, she gave it to him. Ok, so I'm not a prude by any means (look at my book history lol) and I know that unfortunately kids at 15 have sex (I just prefer to not read it), but he was legal age at 18 AND Drunk! What pissed me off the most though, was he was supposed to stay a few days in town to spend time with her (after ignoring her the entire time he was gone) but right after they did the deed, he got a text from his sister and he said he had to leave, but promised Amelia he would be around for a few days. That was a lie. She didn't have any contact with him nor see him again until years later when she found out she would be working with him.
She still feels the pull, still loves him, even though she hates him for what he did. But that doesn't matter, if he just showed her a little physical attention, she was in his bed. And he did the same things several times. Like he sleeps with her then rejects her, says he's no good for her, because of his past, yada yada yada.
I really was hoping that Amelia would have made Dash work more for her forgiveness instead of just keep jumping back into his arms like nothing ever happened. Even given his past, and the secret he bore, I don't think that warranted his behavior or treatment of Amelia.
And as for his secret, he was old enough (basically an adult) to make a conscious decision and needs to own up to that....and that's all I'm saying on that.
This brings me to my last point because I don't believe in completely picking apart someone's hard earned work, and that is NOT my intention....I'm simply stating why the book didn't quite do it for me.
My thoughts and feelings are in the parentheses in this passage taken from the book.
***~ I drive around the neighborhood a few times, wanting really f*cking badly to go somewhere and get drunk. I know I can’t. Amelia deserves better (yup, she sure does). She has always deserved better. And I have always been so fucking selfish (#Truth)
Since we were kids, I wanted her. I jacked off to thoughts of her when I was fifteen and she was twelve (see * after quote for my feelings) She barely even had boobs, but I wanted her. Wanting her, not being able to even dream of having her, has been one of the worst parts of my life.
*ok, so this is probably the mom in me coming out right here on this. I have kids close to this age, 13 and almost 11, and IMO this is unacceptable and the story really could have done without this bit of info. This did not make me think he always loved her more than friends, this did not show me a bond between the two characters and didn't further the story plot. All this did was make me cringe and piss me off, if I'm being honest.