Bounce: Learning to Thrive through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache

by Aaron Früh

Whether due to the loss of a job, home, or family member, the pressures of stress, or even feeling the weight of the world's problems on our shoulders, it's easy to get knocked down flat in life. And when that happens, we have two choices: we can give in to our difficult circumstances by embracing our feelings of resentment, disappointment, indecisiveness, and self-pity. Or we can learn how to bounce back stronger, wiser, and happier than before.

Drawing on his own painful experience of losing his father as a boy and facing the recent economic upheaval, FrŸh shares biblical insights and practical strategies for building our resilience so that we can experience loss not as a monster that comes to steal our joy but as a mentor that comes to form our character. He gives readers hope that the painful season they are going through is not the end--it is just the beginning of a brighter season to come.

Genres: Personal Growth, Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

Published October 3, 2017

Reviews

[Josh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aaron Früh published Bounce: Learning to Thrive through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache, as a kind of devotional workbook that purports to assist those who have gone or are going through a crisis of faith. He encourages the reader to “bounce” back from loss and suffering.

Früh structures the book in three parts. Bounce opens over the first four chapters with the discovery “that you have been wonderfully designed for resilience,” and he promises that “you will learn how to reframe your perspective of loss” (15). The middle section of the book works through four “resilience blockers,” or those things which hinder our ability to rebound after a loss: self-pity, disappointment, resentment toward god, and indecisiveness. The reader is encouraged to take note of those tendencies and fight against them. Früh’s positive vision for resilience is found in the third part of the book, in which the reader is advised to “liquidate some mental real estate” by writing or speaking about the trauma, “embrace perplexity” by recalling that god works even in the midst of inexplicable situations, maintain “hope” by calling to god in the midst of suffering a la Psalm 130, and “cry out for justice” by demanding of god that he act according to his nature–rewarding those who suffer injustice.

Most of the book’s prescriptions function as a kind of psychologizing of Christian response to trauma. Früh’s analysis of the human situation in response to suffering can be summarized, “You can press on regardless because you were designed for resilience” (24). Although Früh does acknowledge the centrality of divine empowerment (viz. the indwelling of the Spirit) for proper response (25ff), Früh’s plan for your “bounce” hinges more on the natural predisposition to recovery and resilience than on a supernatural enabling, which is to say that this work could serve in nearly its entirety in an irreligious environment. Früh exhorts the reader to “reframe loss” (31), and the central conceit of the book is that such a reframing will result in a perspective of loss that sees it as gain. One does have to wonder to what degree such a trite suggestion would facilitate resilience in the face of inexplicable suffering, such as the death of an infant.

This is not to suggest that the book is without merit. One of the truest expressions of Christian counseling in this work is his treatment of the presence of god in our suffering. He draws on Wiesel’s famous, “Where is He? This is where–hanging here from this gallows” and on Isaiah 63.9. He writes,

This means every time Israel suffered–and this includes four hundred years of slavery in Egypt, droughts, oppressive enemies, famines, captivities, and the like–God was there with them in the midst of all their afflictions. So, for God’s sake, where is God? He is hanging from the gallows with afflicted people. He is the God who suffers. When you hurt He hurts. Where is God? This is where: hanging from the gallows with you. (94)

And he continues, “The most accurate and articulate picture of the nature of God is found in the crucifixion of Jesus” (95). Such is part and parcel of Christian hope that god has suffered alongside us. Ultimately, however, our hope rests in the fact not merely that god has suffered but that Jesus suffered and was raised, conquering death.

Früh, unfortunately, in his desire to offer pastoral wisdom, does venture too far and impugns the historically orthodox view of divine impassibility (98), with which one has a difficult time dispensing without also losing divine simplicity–which may be more than Früh wishes to bite off at this point. One can chalk up the error to a typically-evangelical view on matters of divine ontology: god has passions, and the Greeks were wrong (189).

Ultimately, Früh’s work suffers for lack of theological content. Where Früh zeroes in on the god who suffers alongside us, he helps the disconsolate, but, otherwise, the book feels like a paper towel staunching a bullet hole. One may be better served with Lewis’ private grief throughout the pages of A Grief Observed. Lewis wrestles with the loss of his beloved H, whose loss he feels deep within his soul. He struggles through her death and questions the benevolence of god and the purpose of suffering, which is exactly the valley through which many must walk before they can be brought aright again.

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Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa....

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bounce: Learning To Thrive Through Loss, Tragedy, And Heartache by Aaron Fruh is a book about cultivating resilience in order to "press on regardless", even when life gets hard.

Starting each chapter with a real-life story to illustrate the power of resilience in a specific situation or through utilizing a certain skill, Aaron explains that resilience is all about learning to bounce back during hard times. in the second part of the book, he focuses on four resilience blockers and how to overcome each. The last section is designed to help you learn from the past in order to make a plan for handling rough situations in the future. Each chapter concludes with questions to reflect on and a "bounce challenge" to journal and reflect on your progress and goals for each section.

I found parts of the book to drag on or jump around enough that I was left wondering where Aaron was headed with the information he was sharing, or found myself losing track of the main issue at hand. Other than that, the overall flow was pretty smooth and Aaron did a good job at forming a natural progression through the sections.

My main complaint would be that I spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what type of loss this book would be good for, or during what season of the grieving process it would be ideal to venture through without pouring salt on open wounds. In my personal life, I've experienced more depression, disconnection, and disappointment (with myself and others), than I have direct loss. From the losses I have dealt with, my guess would be that this book is overall useful for anyone trying to figure out how to move on after they've reached the point where they feel as though they might be starting to try to heal. Although, certain chapters and sections may resonate better than others, meaning that while the book emphasizes the importance of learning to "press on regardless", you really need to be determined to do that from page one - while letting the book help you find the roadmap on how to get there. 3/5 stars

*Disclaimer: I received a complimentary print copy of this book from the publisher, Baker Books, for the purpose of this honest review. All opinions are my own.*

[Jessica Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although we will all go through troubling times, there is hope and we can Bounce back if we believe and have faith.

With everything going on in the world today, it is easy to get knocked down flat and not want to get back up again. We all have two choices in life: give in to the tragedy and hard times and wallow in self-pity, or get back up, and bounce back stronger and happier than ever. Aaron Fruh uses examples from his own life and the pain he has experienced to show the reader that it is possible to bounce back and become stronger. The readers will find hope and see that it is all just the beginning of what can be a brighter future than they could have ever imagined.

This is the type of book that everyone needs to read even if they are not going through a difficult time at the moment, they can use it to relate to something in the past or save it for something they may yet to go through. I found so many points relatable and useful to apply to my life in different ways. This is not a book to rush through by any means. You want to let the lessons soak in and take to heart what is being said. One of my favorite parts was the lesson of POR, Press on Regardless. No matter what happens, what life throws our way, if we continue to press on and not let the circumstances keep us down we will be able to bounce back stronger than ever before. It may be hard to even fathom that when life gets us down, but it is possible. It is important to remember that just because a particular even being written about may not apply directly to your life there is still a lesson to be learned. I recommend this book to those going through a difficult season in their life and need the reassurance that things will be ok, it may take a while but you can bounce back from whatever you are facing.

[Mary Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the human experience, resilience is a necessary attribute for people’s health and sense of well-being. But resilience needs to be cultivated in the midst of life’s disappointments and loss, trauma, and profound suffering. It is not automatic. Aaron Früh’s new book Bounce is subtitled Learning to Thrive through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache. He defines resilience as “the time-tested truth that we can all bounce back better and stronger after a traumatic loss if you just keep pressing on regardless” (Bounce: Learning to Thrive Through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache by Aaron Früh, Baker Books, 2017, p. 13). He says, “Many don’t quite make it through suffering the shock of loss. They are stuck somewhere in the middle of a parenthesis. The emotional devastational loss brings is a game changer (p. 14). His understanding of resilience correlates with Angela Duckworth’s concept of Grit (from her book of that title) and Gordon Macdonald’s book, A Resilient Life. Früh’s section on the four resilience blockers (see soundbite) is insightful. Unfortunately, his efforts to explain how to make a comeback are not as fully developed as the rest of his book. Three stars.
ML Codman-Wilson, Ph.D. 11/02/2017

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

`Bounce: Learning to Thrive through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache` is a Christian Living/ Personal Growth book by author Aaron Fruh. This book is a study on resilience. The reader is encouraged to use a journal to work through the twelve challenges, one at the end of each chapter. There are also reflection questions at the end of each chapter to answer while thinking about what you just read. There is plenty of scripture verses throughout the book.

I was motivated to read this book because I have suffered through heartache and tragedy and wanted to see what this author would say. Reader beware: the author has gone through heartache, loss, and tragedy and openly talks about it. I had mixed feelings as I read this part. I wanted to cry as well as get mad and upset over what this author endured.

The author suggests the reader write out their life story. In the writing out and telling your story the reader can enter a time of healing and be able to bounce back, even years later. I can't say I loved this book, but I did admire the telling of it. So I give it 4* out of 5*.

Disclaimer: "I was provided a free copy of this book. All opinions are my own."

[Create With Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are you dealing with trauma in your life? Aaron Fruh wrote Bounce: Learning To Thrive Through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache to help you rebound and bounce back stronger, happier, and wiser than before!

Bounce is divided into three sections. Part 1 shows us that we have been wonderfully designed for resilience, teaches us how to reframe our perspective of loss, and provides us with three questions that will help us to journey back from loss to the land of the living. Part 2 examines four resilience blockers – self-pity, disappointment, resentment towards God, and indecisiveness – and provides us with biblical wisdom, reflections, and challenges to help us work through them. Part 3 provides us with four ways to activate our comeback.

Bounce is filled with practical experiential and biblical advice that will help you to return from darkness to light.

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own, based on my assessment of this book.

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bounce: Learning to THRIVE through Loss, Tragedy, and Heartache by Aaron Früh is a book about finding resiliency when life knocks you down. Früh talks about how the keys of resiliency are within you, what four resilience blockers are, and how to form a resilience plan.

My favorite chapters were the ones that explored resiliency, disappointment, and indeciveness. I appreciated how the end of each chapter included reflection questions as well as a challenge to the reader. The book is a hopeful, encouraging one, sending the message that we can find a way to bounce back after experiencing pain, loss, or suffering.

*I received this book for review*

[victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an incredible writing and compelling to read with also inspires, fully insight and applicable to the story that will help us to discover and finding to bounce from the pain of loss and disappointment in our life by follow step by step of how God's Word had provides plan for us to Christian life living this day. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. " I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review".

[Valerie Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, gave it to my mother. A good book for aging people.

[Sage · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this one a 2.5. It wasn’t bad, it just didn’t grab me. I had to take it back to the library before I finished it. I didn’t feel the need to extend the loan in order to finish it.

[Amy Ingalls · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway.Even though I am not religious, the underlying ideas of this book resonated with me. The author talks about letting go of self pity, disappointment, and resentment. The stories and quotes that he uses are interesting. I did, however, come at it from a more self empowering, secular viewpoint and had some difficulty accepting many of the scripture-based passages.