Borderline: A Memoir

by Marie Stella McClure

A true story of life in children's homes, drug addiction, recovery and undiagnosed mental illness. This story aims to reach out to all those suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder as well as young people in care, care leavers and all drug users be they recovered or still addicted. It could also be useful to mental health professionals working with people of all ages as well as social workers involved with young people with problematic behaviour. Please note, it is NOT a self-help book in although I do explain at the end the methods which I have found helpful in overcoming my impulsive behaviour, irrational thoughts and erratic emotions. Most names have been changed to protect privacy unless permission has been obtained. Musically gifted & highly intelligent yet painfully timid Marie´s future looks bright until her sudden wilful and unexplained rebellion delivers her from her strict catholic upbringing and private convent school education into the gutter of social services care at the age of twelve. Thrust into a world of screwed up teenagers where soft drugs and petty crime are the norm; she soon learns her only chance of survival is to become the most reckless of them all. Her life in care is completely self-destructive, filled with run away attempts, substance abuse, multiple juvenile court appearances and extreme promiscuity. Her explosive temper ensures she is thrown out of every home she is placed in. At sixteen she is put out to live on her own and a vicious cycle of addiction takes over. By the time she is eighteen, she is injecting drugs on a daily basis and involved in a relationship with a violent psychopath. She has fallen so low even the other junkies look down on her. No one knows what went so wrong, least of all Marie. When she gets pregnant at twenty-one, Marie manages for the first time in years to get clean and begins building a stable life for herself and her daughter but life remains a huge struggle. Despite going for counselling, embarking on various college courses, spiritual practices and taking up kickboxing, her moods remain explosive and her emotions continually overwhelm her. She cannot function in any romantic relationship and finds herself in constant conflict with all those around her. Even after moving to Spain and ¨living the dream¨ she feels often there is something missing inside and persists in self-medicating with cannabis and prescription drugs. She swings from one extreme to the other in every area of her life but it isn´t until she is thirty-eight years old she finally gets diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Finally, an answer to it all. This book is a true account of Marie´s experiences and a life long case study of this devastating mental illness that causes havoc, drama and misery for the sufferer and anyone else involved with them. .

462 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 12, 2017

Reviews

[Jennifer Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marie is my cousin.. Her life was always the secret of the family. We knew she had had troubles but my mother never spoke of them. We got hints and clues but never the full story. Here she bravely tells the full story. I really enjoyed the book not just because she is family. She has opened the doors and let everyone in to see how she managed with Borderline Personality Disorder before she even knew what it was. I am so proud of what she has achieved. She has fought the odds, been to hell and back and survived...

[Charlotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gritty but unforgettable

I couldn't put this down. A truly compelling read. I am Borderline and identify with so much in this book. This is a must read for any Borderline Sufferer. Thank you Marie for sharing.