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Santa Claus Chronicles #1
Santa Steps Out
"Visions far tastier than sugarplums dance in Santa's head tonight..."
His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what dark desire now propels him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten?
She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north?
He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and stare into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another?
For the answers, unknot that bright red bow, tear off those wrappings, and enjoy!
His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what dark desire now propels him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten?
She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north?
He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and stare into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another?
For the answers, unknot that bright red bow, tear off those wrappings, and enjoy!
360 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
36 people are currently reading
686 people want to read
About the author
Robert Devereaux
36 books75 followersRobert Devereaux made his professional debut in Pulphouse magazine in the late 1980's, attended the 1990 Clarion West Writers Workshop, and soon placed stories in such major venues as Crank!, Weird Tales, and Dennis Etchison's anthology MetaHorror.
Two of his stories made the final ballot for the Bram Stoker and World Fantasy Awards. Robert has a well-deserved reputation as an author who pushes every envelope, though he would claim, with a stage actor's assurance, that as long as one's writing illuminates characters in all their kinks, quirks, kindnesses, and extremes, the imagination must be free to explore nasty places as well as nice, or what's the point?
His first novel Deadweight interweaves a King-like plot, penile implants, and splatterpunk extremes of sex and violence, managing all the while to be a sensitive, spot-on portrayal of an abused woman incapable of relinquishing her role as victim.
Walking Wounded, his next novel, explores the dilemma of a good woman able to heal with her hands, but also to harm even unto death, whose discovery that her husband is cheating on her moves her, against her every humane impulse, to activate his Huntington's Disease and take him down.
Robert went on to shock the bluenoses with Santa Steps Out, in which Santa Claus's gradual recall of his prior existence as Pan leads to an affair with the Tooth Fairy, while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny tries to twitch and wiggle his way into Mrs. Claus's good graces. Santa Steps Out, which won much praise for its mythological underpinnings and the breathtaking sweep of its transgressions, also had the honor of being banned in that cultural backwater of intolerance and censoriousness known as Cincinnati.
Robert's fourth novel, Caliban, borrows a page from John Gardner's Grendel to retell Shakespeare's Tempest through Caliban's eyes.
Robert lives in sunny northern Colorado with the delightful Victoria and their melodious cat Sigfried, making up stuff that tickles his fancy and, he hopes, those of his readers.
Two of his stories made the final ballot for the Bram Stoker and World Fantasy Awards. Robert has a well-deserved reputation as an author who pushes every envelope, though he would claim, with a stage actor's assurance, that as long as one's writing illuminates characters in all their kinks, quirks, kindnesses, and extremes, the imagination must be free to explore nasty places as well as nice, or what's the point?
His first novel Deadweight interweaves a King-like plot, penile implants, and splatterpunk extremes of sex and violence, managing all the while to be a sensitive, spot-on portrayal of an abused woman incapable of relinquishing her role as victim.
Walking Wounded, his next novel, explores the dilemma of a good woman able to heal with her hands, but also to harm even unto death, whose discovery that her husband is cheating on her moves her, against her every humane impulse, to activate his Huntington's Disease and take him down.
Robert went on to shock the bluenoses with Santa Steps Out, in which Santa Claus's gradual recall of his prior existence as Pan leads to an affair with the Tooth Fairy, while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny tries to twitch and wiggle his way into Mrs. Claus's good graces. Santa Steps Out, which won much praise for its mythological underpinnings and the breathtaking sweep of its transgressions, also had the honor of being banned in that cultural backwater of intolerance and censoriousness known as Cincinnati.
Robert's fourth novel, Caliban, borrows a page from John Gardner's Grendel to retell Shakespeare's Tempest through Caliban's eyes.
Robert lives in sunny northern Colorado with the delightful Victoria and their melodious cat Sigfried, making up stuff that tickles his fancy and, he hopes, those of his readers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
November 27, 2020
The most salacious story ever told. Easily one of my favorite horror novels of all time—holiday themed or otherwise. Just as fascinating, the backstory on how such delightful filth finally got published…
It’s spring, 1998. The world's obsessed with Titanic, discovering the Internet through AOL, rocking out to bubblegum boy bands, enjoying newly-FDA approved Viagra, and learning a lot about sex in the oral office—sorry, I mean, oval office. It also happens to be the year that fledgling writer Robert Devereaux finally publishes his landmark novel Santa Steps Out.
Since penning the first draft ten years earlier many industry experts claimed to love it, but never to the extreme of publication. Pat LoBrutto, a highly successful agent, went so far as to say he wanted to tell his grandchildren he edited the “odd little Santa novel.” Pat pushed the book at Tor, where it seemed like a Christmas miracle was finally going to happen. Devereaux made thousands of revisions per their request. But once again, when it came down to it, nobody dared print a festive novel filled with North Pole orgies and holiday horror.
Then, at last, someone does. It’s Dark Highway Press. A small, low-key publisher, but by now Devereaux is willing to take anything. There’s not much for publicity. Peter Straub digs the premise, but is “too busy” to write a blurb. The publication is limited to 1,000 copies, each numbered, beautifully illustrated and hand signed by the author. An exciting day for Devereaux, no doubt, but far from the big career break he hoped for.
And yet—it’s enough. An underground fanbase forms. “Have you read this?!” horror hounds said. “It’s hella fucked up, but also like, really good.”
The enthusiasm eventually leads to a paperback deal. And with the new millennium, Devereaux’s nymphomaniac Santa book is scattered across our nation’s grocery stores.
It doesn’t take long for someone to be offended. A holly jolly Ohio man who bought his copy from Kroger is so scandalized he takes his rage to television. The local news runs a whole segment on the man’s uproar. Half the perverted things he accuses the book of featuring aren’t even true. Which is weird, because there’s plenty of actual perverted things to mention.
Surprisingly, it’s an isolated incident. It seems only Ohioans are up in arms. Still, the bad press is enough for Kroger to pull the title from all stores. It’s a sad day for Santa, and Devereaux is pissed by the mis-characterization of his book. There’s some solace, however. Approximately 70% of inventory sold before the great censorship and the mass market release brings a new swell of urban legend.
“Have you read Santa Steps Out? I heard Santa screws the Tooth Fairy.”
“What? No way.”
“Yeah, dude. I know someone who read it.”
Sadly, no longer welcome on store shelves, the book goes out of print. At this point it might have disappeared completely except readers keep talking about it and finding copies through third party sales on fancy new websites like eBay and Amazon.
As for me, I first hear about it in 2003. I want to read it then because a freaky Santa book sounds awesome. I’m 14, though, and even $1 used copies are expensive when you add shipping.
In retrospect, I’m very, very, very glad I waited. Even by today’s desensitized standards, this book will make your eyes bug out and question the purity of everyone you hold dear. I can’t imagine what teenage me might have thought.
Around 2015, I finally find a copy. It’s gently used and smells faintly of cigarettes. I don’t read it right away, though. Like an Elf on the Shelf, it sits. Year after year, beckoning. I don't put it off intentionally. There’s just too much to read and too little time.
This year, though, I find time. And oh-ho-ho, what a time it is. Whatever rumor you’ve heard, if you’ve heard anything at all, know that this book is juicier than you can ever imagine. Never have I been so obsessed so quickly. Halfway through Chapter 1, it’s clear this is something visionary. Something utterly unique, totally bizarre, and also, better written than most classics.
Devereaux’s mastery is largely due to characterization. Though we’re dealing with holiday figures of lore, he breathes life into them so real it’s startling. They are Hallmark depictions intermingled with fully-explored dark sides. Despite my dwindling faith, this book actually made me believe in Santa Claus.
You will know people—real people—who remind you of this half-pagan Santa and his vengeful Mrs. Claus. You’ll recognize the turbulent Tooth Fairy from the real world, and, to a certain extent, even the abundantly grotesque Easter Bunny.
The plot, too, is noteworthy. It seems impossible that such absurdity can sustain itself for hundreds of pages, but instead of going flat it just gets better and better. And—dare I say—more artistic.
After many bizarre sexcapades, Santa becomes a political figure and important topics emerge. The novel draws back the curtain, for example, on the perversions that arise with power, the complexities of navigating public image, and the earthly challenge of monogamy. It’s the only schlock novel I can think of that also makes you feel wiser. For better or for worse is to be determined.
If I ever become important enough as an author that people ask me “What’s the one book you wish you wrote?” I can’t imagine answering anything other than Santa Steps Out.
Purely from a prose perspective, Devereaux’s language is a height of talent that any writer should aspire to be. But I most admire his undiluted commitment to premise. Less determined authors would have withered by the endless challenges this story creates. He must have known how difficult it would be to publish, how outlandish the plot comes across, how non-mainstream, and yet he stuck with it; devoted who-knows-how-many hours to revision, and didn’t give up. He believed it was worth it, and he was exceedingly correct.
If you aren't easily offended and don't mind having your wholesome image of holiday characters ruined, whatever you do, don't miss Santa Steps Out.
Sources + Interesting History
Devereaux’s response to Ohio man’s outrage
Devereaux Interview (2014)
Article about Publication History
Also, in the new Kindle edition, there’s an afterword by Robert Devereaux which discusses his publishing struggles and the variety of reactions to the novel.
It’s spring, 1998. The world's obsessed with Titanic, discovering the Internet through AOL, rocking out to bubblegum boy bands, enjoying newly-FDA approved Viagra, and learning a lot about sex in the oral office—sorry, I mean, oval office. It also happens to be the year that fledgling writer Robert Devereaux finally publishes his landmark novel Santa Steps Out.
Since penning the first draft ten years earlier many industry experts claimed to love it, but never to the extreme of publication. Pat LoBrutto, a highly successful agent, went so far as to say he wanted to tell his grandchildren he edited the “odd little Santa novel.” Pat pushed the book at Tor, where it seemed like a Christmas miracle was finally going to happen. Devereaux made thousands of revisions per their request. But once again, when it came down to it, nobody dared print a festive novel filled with North Pole orgies and holiday horror.
Then, at last, someone does. It’s Dark Highway Press. A small, low-key publisher, but by now Devereaux is willing to take anything. There’s not much for publicity. Peter Straub digs the premise, but is “too busy” to write a blurb. The publication is limited to 1,000 copies, each numbered, beautifully illustrated and hand signed by the author. An exciting day for Devereaux, no doubt, but far from the big career break he hoped for.
And yet—it’s enough. An underground fanbase forms. “Have you read this?!” horror hounds said. “It’s hella fucked up, but also like, really good.”
The enthusiasm eventually leads to a paperback deal. And with the new millennium, Devereaux’s nymphomaniac Santa book is scattered across our nation’s grocery stores.
It doesn’t take long for someone to be offended. A holly jolly Ohio man who bought his copy from Kroger is so scandalized he takes his rage to television. The local news runs a whole segment on the man’s uproar. Half the perverted things he accuses the book of featuring aren’t even true. Which is weird, because there’s plenty of actual perverted things to mention.
Surprisingly, it’s an isolated incident. It seems only Ohioans are up in arms. Still, the bad press is enough for Kroger to pull the title from all stores. It’s a sad day for Santa, and Devereaux is pissed by the mis-characterization of his book. There’s some solace, however. Approximately 70% of inventory sold before the great censorship and the mass market release brings a new swell of urban legend.
“Have you read Santa Steps Out? I heard Santa screws the Tooth Fairy.”
“What? No way.”
“Yeah, dude. I know someone who read it.”
Sadly, no longer welcome on store shelves, the book goes out of print. At this point it might have disappeared completely except readers keep talking about it and finding copies through third party sales on fancy new websites like eBay and Amazon.
As for me, I first hear about it in 2003. I want to read it then because a freaky Santa book sounds awesome. I’m 14, though, and even $1 used copies are expensive when you add shipping.
In retrospect, I’m very, very, very glad I waited. Even by today’s desensitized standards, this book will make your eyes bug out and question the purity of everyone you hold dear. I can’t imagine what teenage me might have thought.
Around 2015, I finally find a copy. It’s gently used and smells faintly of cigarettes. I don’t read it right away, though. Like an Elf on the Shelf, it sits. Year after year, beckoning. I don't put it off intentionally. There’s just too much to read and too little time.
This year, though, I find time. And oh-ho-ho, what a time it is. Whatever rumor you’ve heard, if you’ve heard anything at all, know that this book is juicier than you can ever imagine. Never have I been so obsessed so quickly. Halfway through Chapter 1, it’s clear this is something visionary. Something utterly unique, totally bizarre, and also, better written than most classics.
Devereaux’s mastery is largely due to characterization. Though we’re dealing with holiday figures of lore, he breathes life into them so real it’s startling. They are Hallmark depictions intermingled with fully-explored dark sides. Despite my dwindling faith, this book actually made me believe in Santa Claus.
You will know people—real people—who remind you of this half-pagan Santa and his vengeful Mrs. Claus. You’ll recognize the turbulent Tooth Fairy from the real world, and, to a certain extent, even the abundantly grotesque Easter Bunny.
The plot, too, is noteworthy. It seems impossible that such absurdity can sustain itself for hundreds of pages, but instead of going flat it just gets better and better. And—dare I say—more artistic.
After many bizarre sexcapades, Santa becomes a political figure and important topics emerge. The novel draws back the curtain, for example, on the perversions that arise with power, the complexities of navigating public image, and the earthly challenge of monogamy. It’s the only schlock novel I can think of that also makes you feel wiser. For better or for worse is to be determined.
If I ever become important enough as an author that people ask me “What’s the one book you wish you wrote?” I can’t imagine answering anything other than Santa Steps Out.
Purely from a prose perspective, Devereaux’s language is a height of talent that any writer should aspire to be. But I most admire his undiluted commitment to premise. Less determined authors would have withered by the endless challenges this story creates. He must have known how difficult it would be to publish, how outlandish the plot comes across, how non-mainstream, and yet he stuck with it; devoted who-knows-how-many hours to revision, and didn’t give up. He believed it was worth it, and he was exceedingly correct.
If you aren't easily offended and don't mind having your wholesome image of holiday characters ruined, whatever you do, don't miss Santa Steps Out.
Sources + Interesting History
Devereaux’s response to Ohio man’s outrage
Devereaux Interview (2014)
Article about Publication History
Also, in the new Kindle edition, there’s an afterword by Robert Devereaux which discusses his publishing struggles and the variety of reactions to the novel.
September 2, 2016
once upon a time there were old gods, and they ruled a world filled with blood and lust and death and transformation. they saw no use for such things as altruism or kindness or propriety or monogamy or the protecting of little children. they followed their own urges and the world followed as well. 'twas such a dirty world back then, in the olden days! a dirty, dirty world. but then the ultimate transformation came, and one such god became God. He changed his fellow godlings as well, into angels and immortal beings who ruled over certain holidays. and all those He didn't change, He slaughtered.
but some of these new gods dream of the past...
this book is fucking unique! I haven't read anything like it. I think I was expecting some bizarro sex romp featuring sexy-weird scenarios that included Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. it has that, sure, but this is far from one of those jokey sex-monster books that karen loves to review. it is so much more. Devereaux mines mythology in order to reconstruct the fables of the present into something darker, dirtier, danker, and richer. The Tooth Fairy is a fearsome and horribly compelling enchantress yearning to gnaw at the bones of children. The Easter Bunny chitters creepily and longingly as he stares at humans from their windows, invisible. Santa Claus feels the haunting call of the lustful old times, long forgotten, and when St. Nick busts a nut, all sorts of magic happens.
first of all, the writing. Devereaux is no hack. the prose is compelling, to say the least. by turns sweetly moving, dryly sardonic, and darkly lustrous... the author's talents shine. like dumping out a trash can and finding everything - the rotting food, the plastic wrappings, the used condoms, all of it - has turned to gold. a treasure trove of trashy riches! I laughed, I was intrigued and fascinated, I was disgusted and appalled, I was moved. a brilliantly written book and I immediately want to read more from the author.
second and most important, the ideas. there's so much in here. whether it is the exploration of mythology, Devereaux's willingness to go all in when looking at ancient archetypes, the surprising focus on the male sexual drive and what that realistically means for monogamy, the empathy he displays for his weird and monstrous creations, the compassion he has when delving into human (and inhuman) psychology, his nakedly honest appraisal of love... my mind was constantly being pushed into places I did not expect when I first picked up this book. reading this during family holiday time was an unusual experience!
obviously this book is not for everyone. but you should check it out if you want something that is full of tenderness and hope, lust and a lot of it, gore and brutality, excessively explicit sex and death scenes, a reconstruction of pagan and Christian mythology, an exploration of adult relationships, and wall-to-wall dark fantasy. it is a fully engorged and very spicy blood sausage and that flavor is certainly not to everyone's taste. but I found it to be delicious.
but some of these new gods dream of the past...
this book is fucking unique! I haven't read anything like it. I think I was expecting some bizarro sex romp featuring sexy-weird scenarios that included Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. it has that, sure, but this is far from one of those jokey sex-monster books that karen loves to review. it is so much more. Devereaux mines mythology in order to reconstruct the fables of the present into something darker, dirtier, danker, and richer. The Tooth Fairy is a fearsome and horribly compelling enchantress yearning to gnaw at the bones of children. The Easter Bunny chitters creepily and longingly as he stares at humans from their windows, invisible. Santa Claus feels the haunting call of the lustful old times, long forgotten, and when St. Nick busts a nut, all sorts of magic happens.
first of all, the writing. Devereaux is no hack. the prose is compelling, to say the least. by turns sweetly moving, dryly sardonic, and darkly lustrous... the author's talents shine. like dumping out a trash can and finding everything - the rotting food, the plastic wrappings, the used condoms, all of it - has turned to gold. a treasure trove of trashy riches! I laughed, I was intrigued and fascinated, I was disgusted and appalled, I was moved. a brilliantly written book and I immediately want to read more from the author.
second and most important, the ideas. there's so much in here. whether it is the exploration of mythology, Devereaux's willingness to go all in when looking at ancient archetypes, the surprising focus on the male sexual drive and what that realistically means for monogamy, the empathy he displays for his weird and monstrous creations, the compassion he has when delving into human (and inhuman) psychology, his nakedly honest appraisal of love... my mind was constantly being pushed into places I did not expect when I first picked up this book. reading this during family holiday time was an unusual experience!
obviously this book is not for everyone. but you should check it out if you want something that is full of tenderness and hope, lust and a lot of it, gore and brutality, excessively explicit sex and death scenes, a reconstruction of pagan and Christian mythology, an exploration of adult relationships, and wall-to-wall dark fantasy. it is a fully engorged and very spicy blood sausage and that flavor is certainly not to everyone's taste. but I found it to be delicious.
December 25, 2024
Holy crap. What the hell was this??? If you read this book hopefully you have an open mind.
This is a great story about love, the importance of family and friends, forgiveness, and a wee bit of raunchy, perverted, very descriptive sex. I found it to be a highly entertaining read, I'm definitely on the naughty list this year.
If you have children or grandchildren and you have even the tiniest bit of love for them, password protect your e-reading devices, if you have a hard copy of this novel lock it up, treat it like a loaded firearm, because if the little ones ever crack this book open, trust me, their childhood will be OVER. The inquisitive tykes will probably have a lot of very difficult questions for you to answer, and they will likely spend years of therapy. Two more books in this series, and I must read them right away, damn my curiosity.
PS: If you are a cat lover and Easter is coming up, hide your kittens. You will understand if you read this book.
This is a great story about love, the importance of family and friends, forgiveness, and a wee bit of raunchy, perverted, very descriptive sex. I found it to be a highly entertaining read, I'm definitely on the naughty list this year.
If you have children or grandchildren and you have even the tiniest bit of love for them, password protect your e-reading devices, if you have a hard copy of this novel lock it up, treat it like a loaded firearm, because if the little ones ever crack this book open, trust me, their childhood will be OVER. The inquisitive tykes will probably have a lot of very difficult questions for you to answer, and they will likely spend years of therapy. Two more books in this series, and I must read them right away, damn my curiosity.
PS: If you are a cat lover and Easter is coming up, hide your kittens. You will understand if you read this book.
May 14, 2011
ok i picked this book up because it was in the horror section at Borders a few years ago. Cover looked interesting and the description intrigured me. However, after startingto ead the book I realized it was more then horror, it was a nightmare, i continued to read chapter after chapoter being more amazed, intrigued, repulsed and stunned by the page. I have to confess I never finished this book, it was just way to out there for me. I wont give it away, but there are limits to what I want to think of Santa and Mrs Claus are capable of, and this went WAY beyond those limits.
July 1, 2025
I found this book by chance while browsing the Horror section at the local Borders (which should give you some idea of how long ago this was.) It looked interesting, and the few random pages I flipped to were intriguing enough that I bought it. Little did I know that I'd picked up a Life-Changing Book (™).
Summarizing it is easy. The Tooth Fairy sets out to seduce Santa Claus, and hijinks ensue.
I will say that it is probably the single raunchiest thing I've read this side of outright porn. But there is nothing gratuitous. Devereux knows where he's going, and all effects deployed are in service to his plan. He will absolutely and fearlessly follow his muse wherever it takes him. Though billed as Horror, I would say it's more properly Fantasy, or maybe Dark Fantasy. David G. Hartwell, who wrote the Foreword, talks about meeting Devereaux at a writer's workshop for Splatterpunks, of trying to talk this mild-mannered fellow out of it, and receiving the confounding reply that Robert had always liked Jacobean drama. Santa Steps Out is certainly unlike any Horror novel that I've ever read. It's unlike ANYTHING I've ever read. The book is completely and utterly crazy in all of the best senses of the word.
It's one of those books that make you appreciate that the world is more strange, more wonderful, and more interesting than you'd previously imagined. There was a period of about five or six years where I would read Santa Steps Out every December, often posting quotes and descriptions online for the benefit of friends who hadn't read it. One of them had connections within the publishing industry, and put me in touch with Robert Devereux himself (the email exchange eventually petered out, partly because I didn't wish to be THAT fan and persist beyond all reason at trying to keep his attention.) He was apparently tickled that someone was so besotted with his work, and generously helped me to obtain a copy of the signed limited hardcover. The illustrations–more tastefully done than you're probably imagining–definitely enhance the reading experience.
Needless to say, this book is highly, highly recommended.
Summarizing it is easy. The Tooth Fairy sets out to seduce Santa Claus, and hijinks ensue.
I will say that it is probably the single raunchiest thing I've read this side of outright porn. But there is nothing gratuitous. Devereux knows where he's going, and all effects deployed are in service to his plan. He will absolutely and fearlessly follow his muse wherever it takes him. Though billed as Horror, I would say it's more properly Fantasy, or maybe Dark Fantasy. David G. Hartwell, who wrote the Foreword, talks about meeting Devereaux at a writer's workshop for Splatterpunks, of trying to talk this mild-mannered fellow out of it, and receiving the confounding reply that Robert had always liked Jacobean drama. Santa Steps Out is certainly unlike any Horror novel that I've ever read. It's unlike ANYTHING I've ever read. The book is completely and utterly crazy in all of the best senses of the word.
It's one of those books that make you appreciate that the world is more strange, more wonderful, and more interesting than you'd previously imagined. There was a period of about five or six years where I would read Santa Steps Out every December, often posting quotes and descriptions online for the benefit of friends who hadn't read it. One of them had connections within the publishing industry, and put me in touch with Robert Devereux himself (the email exchange eventually petered out, partly because I didn't wish to be THAT fan and persist beyond all reason at trying to keep his attention.) He was apparently tickled that someone was so besotted with his work, and generously helped me to obtain a copy of the signed limited hardcover. The illustrations–more tastefully done than you're probably imagining–definitely enhance the reading experience.
Needless to say, this book is highly, highly recommended.
December 12, 2022
I was not aroused. I was not revolted. I was a very special third thing I cannot put a name to.
December 4, 2021
SANTA STEPS OUT by Robert Devereaux took me to places I did not know possible. It has so much more going on than all the tawdry sex that is advertised. Devereaux builds a world slightly different than the one we are used to with Santa, Mrs. Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and more!
Santa... naughty, naughty Santa. He's out here frollicking with the seductress Tooth Fairy for decades. He finds a mortal woman on the side, too. And he's really just trying to find out what type of lover he is in this world. He's extremely conflicted.
The Tooth Fairy is outrageously dark, tempting, and villainous. The Easter Bunny is a little selfish, voyeuristic perv. And when Mrs. Claus finds out all the lies, she plots the best revenge on her charitable husband. Just ask EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THIS ELVES what I mean by this. Yeah, you go girl. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Claus!
I thought I would read a bizarro book full of sex and laughs. But this book really has a lot of messages about forgiveness, love, moving on, friendship, and more. I am quite shocked! BUT this book is still full of all the penetrating, tongue bathing, erections, nipple play, and lusty lust that you expect, too!
Loaded with betrayal and ulterior motives, SANTA STEPS OUT is only the beginning of a trilogy called the Santa Claus Chronicles. And I intend to read the next two and see just how deep down the depraved rabbit hole Devereaux takes us.
Santa... naughty, naughty Santa. He's out here frollicking with the seductress Tooth Fairy for decades. He finds a mortal woman on the side, too. And he's really just trying to find out what type of lover he is in this world. He's extremely conflicted.
The Tooth Fairy is outrageously dark, tempting, and villainous. The Easter Bunny is a little selfish, voyeuristic perv. And when Mrs. Claus finds out all the lies, she plots the best revenge on her charitable husband. Just ask EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THIS ELVES what I mean by this. Yeah, you go girl. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Claus!
I thought I would read a bizarro book full of sex and laughs. But this book really has a lot of messages about forgiveness, love, moving on, friendship, and more. I am quite shocked! BUT this book is still full of all the penetrating, tongue bathing, erections, nipple play, and lusty lust that you expect, too!
Loaded with betrayal and ulterior motives, SANTA STEPS OUT is only the beginning of a trilogy called the Santa Claus Chronicles. And I intend to read the next two and see just how deep down the depraved rabbit hole Devereaux takes us.
December 20, 2019
This is funny and bizarre and nasty and perhaps it goes on for too long, but it's an amusing counterpunch to the sanctimonious commercialization that one occasionally falls victim to resenting in late December. (Spoiler!) There's sex, lots of sex, with the Tooth Fairy and Santa among others, and the Easter Bunny likes to watch. (End of spoiler... you'd've gotten this much from the cover, anyway.) (If you try substituting other names for the characters it changes a lot and looses punch... try superheroes or pop stars.) Warning: don't leave this one laying around where kids might pick it up. Also, if your mother finds out what it is you've read she'll almost certainly show up to wash your brain and eyes out with strong soap.
December 21, 2011
I found this about 3-4 Christmas seasons ago. The holiday season would come and go, and I would forget about it. So, with four days before Christmas, I finished this "Fairy Tale for Grown-ups" as it states on the cover. That'a an understatement...this outrageous, perverse, take on our sacred childhood figures is not right. But, then again why was I smiling, chuckling to myself as i read it? Because, it is a twisted, humorous, frolic, tale...with Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...chasing tail! In the future, I will have a smile/smirk, or maybe chuckle out loud...come the holidays. Highly recommended, for the perverse in all of us.
April 24, 2018
Dirty, filthy, nasty and utterly glorious. What I wouldn't give to tell my young nieces and nephews this Tooth Fairy was coming for their teeth.
December 5, 2025
Santa Claus rediscovers his lustful, pagan nature after accidentally encountering the Tooth Fairy, leading to a disastrous affair that causes chaos at the North Pole and threatens Christmas...
Wow, this was so much better than I had expected. Judging by the ludicrous premise and smutty cover, I figured this would be a pretty silly and raunchy book, filled with cheap thrills and bad writing. Instead, it turned out to be damn great. Devereaux is clearly a skilled author, and the prose is honestly quite wonderful. Sure, the plot might be bizarre and f*cked up, but it's ultimately a rather profound story about love, lust, and finding your true self. And the way it all ties in to paganism and ancient Greek mythology is also really cool.
Obviously not for everyone, but strongly recommended for those who enjoy dark literature of the more twisted variety. 4.25 stars!
Wow, this was so much better than I had expected. Judging by the ludicrous premise and smutty cover, I figured this would be a pretty silly and raunchy book, filled with cheap thrills and bad writing. Instead, it turned out to be damn great. Devereaux is clearly a skilled author, and the prose is honestly quite wonderful. Sure, the plot might be bizarre and f*cked up, but it's ultimately a rather profound story about love, lust, and finding your true self. And the way it all ties in to paganism and ancient Greek mythology is also really cool.
Obviously not for everyone, but strongly recommended for those who enjoy dark literature of the more twisted variety. 4.25 stars!
dnf
August 1, 2023Abandoned (dnf) at 17%. Parts were wild & fun and I was really into the incorporation of the tooth fairy and stuff like that. But too much about this rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it gets better as the book goes on but I dont care enough to find out. All the men in this are pigs. Very 'poor men' having to cheat on their wives because they dont get head or enough sex. And they just cant be expected to control themselves or be faithful because evil vixens and "men will be men." GROSS. There is also sex scenes right next to sleeping children, and the eating of cum candy canes by junior high kids that get them all randy and giving their boyfriends blow jobs. What?! I dont wanna hear about kids doing that thank you very much.
December 18, 2019
Babbo Natale, il coniglio pasquale, la fata dei dentini.
Figure iconiche dell'infanzia, più in America che qui da noi, dove c'è Babbo Natale ma gli altri due non hanno grande diffusione.
Babbo Natale, si diceva. Vecchio, bonaccione, rubicondo, passa il tempo coi suoi elfi a fare i giochi per i bambini di tutto il mondo, giochi che poi gli porterà magicamente la ntote di Natale, volando sulle case con la sua slitta volante trainata da renne.
La fata è nota per lasciare ai bambini monete in cambio dei denti da latte persi, che vengono messi sotto il cuscino la notte.
Il coniglio pasquale distribuisce le uova di Pasqua, chiaro.
Tutto bene, tutto bello.
Nel mondo immaginato da Devereaux queste figure esistono, e riescono nelle loro imprese grazie a una magia, il "Tempo Magico", che blocca il mondo intorno a loro consentendogli di agire praticamente nello spazio tra due secondi.
Solo che c'è qualcosa di strano, qualcosa che viene anticipato fin dal prologo, quando scopriamo che Dio ha un passato mitologico, e che col suo potere onnipotente ha praticamente "ricreato" altre entità di un'epoca ormai dimenticata, trasformandole in angeli e cherubini, o in Santa Claus, Anya Claus, gli elfi di Babbo Natale, le renne, il coniglio pasquale, la fata dei dentini.
E per secoli tutto è andato bene.
A un certo punto però Dio si è preso una pausa, e durante questa pausa un frammento di ciò che un angelo era è tornato in superficie, portando a un incontro quasi fortuito tra due entità che mai avrebbero dovuto incrociarsi: Babbo Natale e la fata dei dentini.
Perché mai non dovevano incontrarsi? Per il loro passato.
Babbo Natale era Pan, la fata era una ninfa abbastanza importante nella mitologia... e come loro, tutte le altre figure "trasformate", attraversando la tremenda catena di eventi messa in moto da questo incontro apparentemente innocuo cominciano a tremare, ad avere visioni momentanee di chi, di cosa erano. Immagini e ricordi di un passato violento, feroce, lussurioso.
Lussurioso, esatto. Perché giustamente, essendoci di mezzo Pan, satiri, ninfe e divinità, il sesso è qualcosa di centrale e fondamentale, è un impulso naturale potente e irrefrenabile. E il sesso degli immortali, un misto tra lussuria e violenza, un dolore estatico senza conseguenze data la loro rigenerazione, è implacabile, terrificante.
Come si risolve il tutto nella pratica?
Dopo averlo rivisto, la Fata ricorda alcune cose. Tipo chi sia. E allora un anno lo aspetta, lo seduce poco a poco e alla fine lo fa suo. Più e più volte.
Quando torna a casa, la moglie subodora subito qualcosa, lui giura e spergiura che non la vedrà più, e ovviamente da tanto che è sincero si costruisce una casetta nel bosco con una bambola che perde i denti per chiamarla ogni volta che vuole.
Alla lunga le cose peggiorano, soprattutto quando entra in scena un coniglio di dimensioni umane perennemente arrapato e senza una compagna in grado di soddisfare i suoi bisogni, un coniglio nato come pasquale ed evolutosi in guardone, che pur di avvicinarsi a una donna architetta piani assurdi (in quanto è scontato che per lui non ci saranno gioie).
A tutto questo aggiungiamo la povera Rachel, che da piccola ha assistito a un rapporto tra Babbo Natale e la Fata, e da grande è diventata l'amante di Santa Claus in persona, con figlioletta al seguito.
Insomma, una sorta di urban fantasy-weird-erotico-horror, con una storia editoriale che definire travagliata è poco (il libro è stato pubblicato nel '98, dieci anni dopo la stesura, perché gli editori non lo volevano, quando lo volevano il marketing lo rifiutava tra scongiuri e colpi apoplettici, e chi poteva non voleva e chi voleva non poteva). Una buona storia, dove il sesso non sarà esclusivamente fine a sé stesso ma dà molto l'impressione di essere messo per scandalizzare (oltre che per il puro piacere dell'autore).
Molto probabilmente anni fa l'avrei apprezzata parecchio di più, ma aver letto libri come Pan di Dimitri ha smorzato l'effetto sorpresa e stupore.
Comunque, per essere stato scritto a fine anni '80 si dimostra estremamente all'avanguardia tra la desacralizzazione di figure iconiche, l'inno al poliamore e il mescolume tra mitologia antica ed epoca moderna che anni dopo farà la fortuna di tale Neil Gaiman.
Comunque piacevole, divertente, con alcune scene disturbanti (ma il finale non mi piace, mi spiace).
Figure iconiche dell'infanzia, più in America che qui da noi, dove c'è Babbo Natale ma gli altri due non hanno grande diffusione.
Babbo Natale, si diceva. Vecchio, bonaccione, rubicondo, passa il tempo coi suoi elfi a fare i giochi per i bambini di tutto il mondo, giochi che poi gli porterà magicamente la ntote di Natale, volando sulle case con la sua slitta volante trainata da renne.
La fata è nota per lasciare ai bambini monete in cambio dei denti da latte persi, che vengono messi sotto il cuscino la notte.
Il coniglio pasquale distribuisce le uova di Pasqua, chiaro.
Tutto bene, tutto bello.
Nel mondo immaginato da Devereaux queste figure esistono, e riescono nelle loro imprese grazie a una magia, il "Tempo Magico", che blocca il mondo intorno a loro consentendogli di agire praticamente nello spazio tra due secondi.
Solo che c'è qualcosa di strano, qualcosa che viene anticipato fin dal prologo, quando scopriamo che Dio ha un passato mitologico, e che col suo potere onnipotente ha praticamente "ricreato" altre entità di un'epoca ormai dimenticata, trasformandole in angeli e cherubini, o in Santa Claus, Anya Claus, gli elfi di Babbo Natale, le renne, il coniglio pasquale, la fata dei dentini.
E per secoli tutto è andato bene.
A un certo punto però Dio si è preso una pausa, e durante questa pausa un frammento di ciò che un angelo era è tornato in superficie, portando a un incontro quasi fortuito tra due entità che mai avrebbero dovuto incrociarsi: Babbo Natale e la fata dei dentini.
Perché mai non dovevano incontrarsi? Per il loro passato.
Babbo Natale era Pan, la fata era una ninfa abbastanza importante nella mitologia... e come loro, tutte le altre figure "trasformate", attraversando la tremenda catena di eventi messa in moto da questo incontro apparentemente innocuo cominciano a tremare, ad avere visioni momentanee di chi, di cosa erano. Immagini e ricordi di un passato violento, feroce, lussurioso.
Lussurioso, esatto. Perché giustamente, essendoci di mezzo Pan, satiri, ninfe e divinità, il sesso è qualcosa di centrale e fondamentale, è un impulso naturale potente e irrefrenabile. E il sesso degli immortali, un misto tra lussuria e violenza, un dolore estatico senza conseguenze data la loro rigenerazione, è implacabile, terrificante.
Come si risolve il tutto nella pratica?
Dopo averlo rivisto, la Fata ricorda alcune cose. Tipo chi sia. E allora un anno lo aspetta, lo seduce poco a poco e alla fine lo fa suo. Più e più volte.
Quando torna a casa, la moglie subodora subito qualcosa, lui giura e spergiura che non la vedrà più, e ovviamente da tanto che è sincero si costruisce una casetta nel bosco con una bambola che perde i denti per chiamarla ogni volta che vuole.
Alla lunga le cose peggiorano, soprattutto quando entra in scena un coniglio di dimensioni umane perennemente arrapato e senza una compagna in grado di soddisfare i suoi bisogni, un coniglio nato come pasquale ed evolutosi in guardone, che pur di avvicinarsi a una donna architetta piani assurdi (in quanto è scontato che per lui non ci saranno gioie).
A tutto questo aggiungiamo la povera Rachel, che da piccola ha assistito a un rapporto tra Babbo Natale e la Fata, e da grande è diventata l'amante di Santa Claus in persona, con figlioletta al seguito.
Insomma, una sorta di urban fantasy-weird-erotico-horror, con una storia editoriale che definire travagliata è poco (il libro è stato pubblicato nel '98, dieci anni dopo la stesura, perché gli editori non lo volevano, quando lo volevano il marketing lo rifiutava tra scongiuri e colpi apoplettici, e chi poteva non voleva e chi voleva non poteva). Una buona storia, dove il sesso non sarà esclusivamente fine a sé stesso ma dà molto l'impressione di essere messo per scandalizzare (oltre che per il puro piacere dell'autore).
Molto probabilmente anni fa l'avrei apprezzata parecchio di più, ma aver letto libri come Pan di Dimitri ha smorzato l'effetto sorpresa e stupore.
Comunque, per essere stato scritto a fine anni '80 si dimostra estremamente all'avanguardia tra la desacralizzazione di figure iconiche, l'inno al poliamore e il mescolume tra mitologia antica ed epoca moderna che anni dopo farà la fortuna di tale Neil Gaiman.
Comunque piacevole, divertente, con alcune scene disturbanti (ma il finale non mi piace, mi spiace).
October 7, 2008
This book was outrageously obscene, a nightmare in print, and yet I couldn't stop reading it, loved it! I had never heard of Robert Devereaux before reading this book, impressive prose and use of vocabulary. Kudos to him for having the guts to tell such an offensive story in which Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy carry on a lascivious affair for over three-and-twenty years whilst the voyeuristic Easter Bunny observes, plotting to have his way with Mrs. Claus. Santa Steps Out is a story I won't soon forget, a hilarious degradation of childhood fantasies, "a fairy tale for grown-ups" indeed!
December 18, 2017
The first time I read this book I was still in high school. Shared it with a friend and delighted in how it would shock most if they knew. Now here I am reading it again in my 30s and still enjoy it. It's so delightfully naughty.
October 30, 2017
Threw it into the trash where rubbish belongs...
December 23, 2012
What if the Santa Claus you think you know wasn't really Santa? For that matter, if the Santa that Santa knows wasn't really Santa?
In Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux, we are introduced to a world where the Christian angels, mythological figure (like Santa and the Easter Bunny), and even God himself were once other mythological being, but had their identities erased and were cast in new roles by the current being who calls himself God. This isn't a spoiler, You're told as much in the very beginning. For example, the angel Michael was originally Hermes, or the Son (guess who?) was at one time known as Apollo. Even Mrs. Claus was once another mythological being. And instead of Rudolph, Santa's reindeer are led by Lucifer with flaming antlers (although there's not indication that he is any relation to the Biblical Lucifer). But there's a flaw with this new order, and certain mythological beings must never see each other, lest their true identities begin to leak through.
This is the case with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. At one point, by sheer accident, they see each other, and a lusty past between them begins to leak through and revive, and Santa's original identity begins to leak through and fights with himself (think Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings”). Then the Easter Bunny enters the fray. Take that for what you will.
It seems silly, but Santa Steps Out is actually incredibly good, not to mention surprisingly deep. It's one of those books that makes you think at first that it's going to be low-brow, highly sexualized and based solely on shock value. But it's not this at all. It goes deeply into the subjects of history, identity, love, family, and loyalty.
The author's choice of words doesn't make it the easiest of reads. It's like if Vladimir Nabokov wrote sexual holiday-themed bizarro fiction. Yet it's so engaging that you never feel lost. The writing style is fluid and artistic, and the editing impeccable (something I'm usually a stickler for). Looking at the cover and the title, it really takes you by surprise. This book was a genuine pleasure to read.
The only complaint I have was the ending. Most of the answers we're looking looking for are relegated to an epilogue, and things seem to get tied up too quickly, even with the subtle hint at the end that there is more to come. There is a sequel, Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes , which I will eventually get around to reading if it's anything like this book. Still, at the end it did feel like the author might have written himself into a corner and had to resort to deus ex machina to end the book, even while deus ex machina seemed inevitable. With knowledge that there is a sequel, this takes some of the sting out of it, as Santa Steps Out is rather hefty compared to many bizarro books, not to its detriment.
Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux earns 4.5 gold coins out of 5.
In Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux, we are introduced to a world where the Christian angels, mythological figure (like Santa and the Easter Bunny), and even God himself were once other mythological being, but had their identities erased and were cast in new roles by the current being who calls himself God. This isn't a spoiler, You're told as much in the very beginning. For example, the angel Michael was originally Hermes, or the Son (guess who?) was at one time known as Apollo. Even Mrs. Claus was once another mythological being. And instead of Rudolph, Santa's reindeer are led by Lucifer with flaming antlers (although there's not indication that he is any relation to the Biblical Lucifer). But there's a flaw with this new order, and certain mythological beings must never see each other, lest their true identities begin to leak through.
This is the case with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. At one point, by sheer accident, they see each other, and a lusty past between them begins to leak through and revive, and Santa's original identity begins to leak through and fights with himself (think Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings”). Then the Easter Bunny enters the fray. Take that for what you will.
It seems silly, but Santa Steps Out is actually incredibly good, not to mention surprisingly deep. It's one of those books that makes you think at first that it's going to be low-brow, highly sexualized and based solely on shock value. But it's not this at all. It goes deeply into the subjects of history, identity, love, family, and loyalty.
The author's choice of words doesn't make it the easiest of reads. It's like if Vladimir Nabokov wrote sexual holiday-themed bizarro fiction. Yet it's so engaging that you never feel lost. The writing style is fluid and artistic, and the editing impeccable (something I'm usually a stickler for). Looking at the cover and the title, it really takes you by surprise. This book was a genuine pleasure to read.
The only complaint I have was the ending. Most of the answers we're looking looking for are relegated to an epilogue, and things seem to get tied up too quickly, even with the subtle hint at the end that there is more to come. There is a sequel, Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes , which I will eventually get around to reading if it's anything like this book. Still, at the end it did feel like the author might have written himself into a corner and had to resort to deus ex machina to end the book, even while deus ex machina seemed inevitable. With knowledge that there is a sequel, this takes some of the sting out of it, as Santa Steps Out is rather hefty compared to many bizarro books, not to its detriment.
Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux earns 4.5 gold coins out of 5.
May 17, 2020
Although "Santa Steps Out" is an extremely well written book, it is the literary equivalent of driving by a horrific accident where body parts are spread all across the road, into the trees and ditches and finding it's impossible to look away even though you know good and well you're going to have nightmares for weeks afterward.
In "Santa Steps Out" the Santa we all know and love has a pagan past, as does the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. Mr. Devereaux take these much loved icons of childhood and morphs them into three of the most twisted individuals you'll ever encounter...and Mrs Clause doesn't fare too well in this mess either.
The basic premise of the book is that God leaves an angel in charge for a split second and in that time the unthinkable happens...two mythlogical creatures (Santa and The Tooth Fairy) meet. Although God's wiped away their past memories, this meeting triggers something in the Tooth Fairy and she wants Santa in a bad way....why's this? Because they were lovers in their past. Even if Santa's forgotten it. But she's going to make sure he remembers and no one, not the Easter Bunny, Mrs. Claus or even God himself is going to get in her way.
This is not a book for someone like myself that simply likes a "funny" book. Trust me on this. I bought this nightmare of a book based upon the cover blurb that called it "Perversely Hilarious." Yes, the book is perverse. (WAY beyond perverse) But I have yet to distinctly recalled a moment when I found a single syllable of it hilarious. From cover to cover, on each and every page, there's something completely offensive. It's filled with disturbing erotic images of Santa, The Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny that have me looking at the chocolate bunnies in stores sideways as I tap down my desire to run away screaming.
I finished reading this book not because I wanted to, but because I had to find out how Mr. Devereaux resolved all that was going on with Santa and company.
This book contains group sex, rape, f/f, m/f/f...dear Lord, just finding out where Mr. Devereaux thought The Tooth Fairy acquired the coins for children, although brilliant...she eats the tooth, the poops out the coins...was enough to make me glad my daughter's an adult and well past putting teeth under her pillow.
In "Santa Steps Out" the Santa we all know and love has a pagan past, as does the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. Mr. Devereaux take these much loved icons of childhood and morphs them into three of the most twisted individuals you'll ever encounter...and Mrs Clause doesn't fare too well in this mess either.
The basic premise of the book is that God leaves an angel in charge for a split second and in that time the unthinkable happens...two mythlogical creatures (Santa and The Tooth Fairy) meet. Although God's wiped away their past memories, this meeting triggers something in the Tooth Fairy and she wants Santa in a bad way....why's this? Because they were lovers in their past. Even if Santa's forgotten it. But she's going to make sure he remembers and no one, not the Easter Bunny, Mrs. Claus or even God himself is going to get in her way.
This is not a book for someone like myself that simply likes a "funny" book. Trust me on this. I bought this nightmare of a book based upon the cover blurb that called it "Perversely Hilarious." Yes, the book is perverse. (WAY beyond perverse) But I have yet to distinctly recalled a moment when I found a single syllable of it hilarious. From cover to cover, on each and every page, there's something completely offensive. It's filled with disturbing erotic images of Santa, The Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny that have me looking at the chocolate bunnies in stores sideways as I tap down my desire to run away screaming.
I finished reading this book not because I wanted to, but because I had to find out how Mr. Devereaux resolved all that was going on with Santa and company.
This book contains group sex, rape, f/f, m/f/f...dear Lord, just finding out where Mr. Devereaux thought The Tooth Fairy acquired the coins for children, although brilliant...she eats the tooth, the poops out the coins...was enough to make me glad my daughter's an adult and well past putting teeth under her pillow.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 27, 2013
Santa Steps Out came recommended to me by a blog I read regularly. It sounded brilliant, and something I'd greatly enjoy reading, so I was thrilled when I received a copy for christmas. I read the introductions first, and was by this point pretty excited. But the more I read, the more my excitement waned, until I was bored. I found myself skipping chunks of paragraphs to reach the end as quickly as possible.
It sounds strange to say I was bored considering what this story is meant to encompass, however instead of being anything from intrigued to repulsed, I simply had no interest at all. There were certainly elements that I liked, but the more the characters were having sex (and such) the more my attention wandered. Devereaux may as well have written "and then they had sex again" as unengaging as those passages were. And as there is a lot of that sort of goings on...it's a rather big problem.
What I did like was how he introduced these mythological figures, and told us who they'd been before, mixing together some interesting history. It gives the story slightly more depth, if only there had been slightly more. That said the book isn't all sex, there are other subjects centering around family,love, loyalty, identity. And there is merit to the plot.
While some people may never seen the holiday figures the same
again, I can't say that this is the case for me.
In any case I expected it to be more than it was, which might
be why I was so unimpressed.
It sounds strange to say I was bored considering what this story is meant to encompass, however instead of being anything from intrigued to repulsed, I simply had no interest at all. There were certainly elements that I liked, but the more the characters were having sex (and such) the more my attention wandered. Devereaux may as well have written "and then they had sex again" as unengaging as those passages were. And as there is a lot of that sort of goings on...it's a rather big problem.
What I did like was how he introduced these mythological figures, and told us who they'd been before, mixing together some interesting history. It gives the story slightly more depth, if only there had been slightly more. That said the book isn't all sex, there are other subjects centering around family,love, loyalty, identity. And there is merit to the plot.
While some people may never seen the holiday figures the same
again, I can't say that this is the case for me.
In any case I expected it to be more than it was, which might
be why I was so unimpressed.
January 7, 2014
This happens to be the first book I finished reading in 2014. I have to say that it is definitely one of the more thought-provoking ones that I've read in recent memory. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, religion, hardcore sex, and pretty much the kitchen sink here.
It's not for the squeamish. But it is for those who want an interesting look at how the legends of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny became involved with the legend of Jesus. Highly recommended reading!
It's not for the squeamish. But it is for those who want an interesting look at how the legends of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny became involved with the legend of Jesus. Highly recommended reading!
January 6, 2023
This book is so fucked up and bizarre, but damn it if it ain't the best goddamn Santa Claus story ever told. A ridiculous and hilarious story as well. One complaint: the author seems to be in favor of the idea of polygamy, as it's one of the ongoing themes in the novel, but I think reaching that conclusion feels a little sloppy. I'll probably treat this as a standalone, as I've heard the sequel is not nearly as depraved, and in turn, I would assume, not as entertaining.
December 20, 2011
Wowser! Incredibly perverted! I have never read anything quite like it, I can't quite put my finger on whether I liked it or was just shocked by each page but I couldn't put it down until I was finished.
December 21, 2019
This one's been living on the ol' kindle for a bit. I started it at some point, then left it because, well, I thought it was a little depressing. Not because it was Santa, just because a guy was...stepping out. Of his marriage. Into the vagina of a weird tooth fairy.
Then I tried it again in order to write a column about Christmas in Bizarro Land. I succeeded this time. Succeeded in finishing, that is. But it wasn't my favorite.
The thing is, I'm not a big erotica guy. I'm not a little erotica guy. I'm not an erotica guy of any size. Could've saved myself some time just now by starting with that, leaving off the size distinction. So, I don't know, maybe this is more appealing for fans of that stuff. For me it was a lot of descriptions of bangin', which sounds fun and all, but reading about it is a little like reading a long narrative of someone telling about how they had a really fun time on a rollercoaster. I'm sure it was fun, I'm sure I'd have fun on that rollercoaster, but the written narrative doesn't quite hit the bases for me.
There's stuff to like here. Santa's ejaculate turns into candy canes when it hits a Christmas tree. Don't ask me why that happens. I've ejaculated a reasonable number of times in my life, and I've never hit, nor have I ever been danger-close to hitting, a Christmas tree. Or any holiday/religious symbol that happened to be around. There's a graveyard battle. The Tooth Fairy is kinda horrifying, which makes sense. What kinda freak likes teeth that much?
By the way, I recently learned that there is like this weird, underground-ish market for human teeth. People will buy from dental offices and re-sell them. And they're worth a pretty good penny! Something like $4 bucks a tooth on etsy. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you got like 8 pounds of teeth in one shot (like one writer claimed), you'd be in pretty good shape. I've got a couple questions and ideas, untested, that I'm curious about:
1. Can you pretend they're for a child's science fair project? One of those "Does cola dissolve teeth?" things. Would a dentist turn them over to you?
2. I'm reading that it's better to contact an oral surgeon, which makes sense. I'm sure they've got all kinds of teeth.
3. I knew a girl whose mom kept ALL her baby teeth in a little box. She shared this fact at a professional event as her "two truths and a lie" sort of thing, and it was by far the best one. To me.
4. One person recommended going to low-income neighborhoods and hitting up the dentists (and assistants) there. Morally questionable, but on the other hand, we ARE talking about the re-selling of human teeth here, which is difficult to do from a high horse.
I guess I'm telling everyone out there to save the teeth you get from extractions, your wisdom teeth, whatever. Because while $4 bucks isn't a shitload, it'll offset that dental bill a little bit, right?
Then I tried it again in order to write a column about Christmas in Bizarro Land. I succeeded this time. Succeeded in finishing, that is. But it wasn't my favorite.
The thing is, I'm not a big erotica guy. I'm not a little erotica guy. I'm not an erotica guy of any size. Could've saved myself some time just now by starting with that, leaving off the size distinction. So, I don't know, maybe this is more appealing for fans of that stuff. For me it was a lot of descriptions of bangin', which sounds fun and all, but reading about it is a little like reading a long narrative of someone telling about how they had a really fun time on a rollercoaster. I'm sure it was fun, I'm sure I'd have fun on that rollercoaster, but the written narrative doesn't quite hit the bases for me.
There's stuff to like here. Santa's ejaculate turns into candy canes when it hits a Christmas tree. Don't ask me why that happens. I've ejaculated a reasonable number of times in my life, and I've never hit, nor have I ever been danger-close to hitting, a Christmas tree. Or any holiday/religious symbol that happened to be around. There's a graveyard battle. The Tooth Fairy is kinda horrifying, which makes sense. What kinda freak likes teeth that much?
By the way, I recently learned that there is like this weird, underground-ish market for human teeth. People will buy from dental offices and re-sell them. And they're worth a pretty good penny! Something like $4 bucks a tooth on etsy. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you got like 8 pounds of teeth in one shot (like one writer claimed), you'd be in pretty good shape. I've got a couple questions and ideas, untested, that I'm curious about:
1. Can you pretend they're for a child's science fair project? One of those "Does cola dissolve teeth?" things. Would a dentist turn them over to you?
2. I'm reading that it's better to contact an oral surgeon, which makes sense. I'm sure they've got all kinds of teeth.
3. I knew a girl whose mom kept ALL her baby teeth in a little box. She shared this fact at a professional event as her "two truths and a lie" sort of thing, and it was by far the best one. To me.
4. One person recommended going to low-income neighborhoods and hitting up the dentists (and assistants) there. Morally questionable, but on the other hand, we ARE talking about the re-selling of human teeth here, which is difficult to do from a high horse.
I guess I'm telling everyone out there to save the teeth you get from extractions, your wisdom teeth, whatever. Because while $4 bucks isn't a shitload, it'll offset that dental bill a little bit, right?
September 17, 2018
I’ve lingered over this book for a long time reading it in short bursts over a year. I’m a little worried now that I’ve finished it I won’t have the beautiful, absurd, poetic vacations that this book provides. It is worth reading and worth savoring.
December 26, 2018
5.0 So wrong in so many ways, but so right too! Such perverse fun! A white Christmas indeed. Love how they tie in all the old Pagan gods (well some) into the new world. Plus they are all very naughty and are getting nutting for Christmas ha. Really fun, twisted time.
April 11, 2023
I only read this for my tiktok. I’m convinced this author just played cards against humanity to create the events of this story. You might think you know what this is about but you don’t.
Jizz candy canes
A tooth fairy that shits out coins
SA’ing a reindeer
A sex addict rapist Easter bunny
An unfaithful child grooming Santa
Mrs Claus getting an elf train on her
SA God as a baby????
These all had to have come from night terrors.
Jizz candy canes
A tooth fairy that shits out coins
SA’ing a reindeer
A sex addict rapist Easter bunny
An unfaithful child grooming Santa
Mrs Claus getting an elf train on her
SA God as a baby????
These all had to have come from night terrors.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 23, 2011
**SPOILER ALERT**
Wow! I will never look at Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus or the Easter Bunny the same after reading this! I feel so perverse for even continuing to read this. Especially that this book is based on the happiest time of the year and the most jolly and beloved fairy tale of all.. Santa Claus! Or shall I call him Dirty Santa!!I still continued to read on of course it was like eating chocolate. You know it’s bad for you but you keep wanting a little more. The synopsis on the front cover of this book is so very true. “A Fairy Tale for Grown Ups”. It definitely was a fairy tale and it for sure 100% was for grown-ups!! I am still in shock over everything in this book!
I agree with the other reviews that this is not for the easily offended. For that matter I also would advise that it is not for extreme religious people either. Although this book was very sexually explicit it was a good read. It was very interesting reading how the various characters played out and what came to be of them in the end.
Anya (Mrs. Claus) got her revenge by sleeping with all the elves, and that was unexpected because the first time she became aware of Santa’s affair with the Tooth Fairy she forgave and still stayed by Santa’s side. The climax of the story really had me at the edge of my seat. I was very curious on how this dirty tale would end. The ending was a perfect one for this type of book. Santa gets his wish of having 2 wives which was not foreseen because Rachael had been killed by the Tooth Fairy. I think out of all the characters that had the worst ending to it all was the Tooth Fairy. It was very well deserved being that she was the one who really started everything by seducing Santa on numerous Christmas Eve’s. (Although yes I am very well aware of the saying “It takes 2 to Tango”) I was shocked to read about her 12 sons and what she did with them. Very disgusting!
I was hoping at the end of the book that there was a book 2 about the Tooth Fairy’s sons but I see that isn’t the case. I recommend this book for people who have an open mind and are not easily offended. If the ratings on this was based on shock value alone I would definitely give it a 5. But judging the overall story I give it a 4. I really did like it, the story itself and plot was captivating and it had its shock value, but I wouldn’t rate this as being one of my favorite books that I would go recommending to people. What made this a 4 rating instead of a 3 is that the plot is actually a great one even if you take out all the sex. I hadn’t ever heard of or thought to write or read about an adulterous Santa, and a Mrs. Claus who gets revenge by sleeping with all the elves, a tooth fairy who seduces Santa Claus and a perverted Easter Rabbit who can’t control his lustfulness. If you do happen to pick this up, be warned: Everything you knew and learned about these fairy tale images will be thrown out the door and you won’t be able to see these characters the same EVER AGAIN!
Wow! I will never look at Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus or the Easter Bunny the same after reading this! I feel so perverse for even continuing to read this. Especially that this book is based on the happiest time of the year and the most jolly and beloved fairy tale of all.. Santa Claus! Or shall I call him Dirty Santa!!I still continued to read on of course it was like eating chocolate. You know it’s bad for you but you keep wanting a little more. The synopsis on the front cover of this book is so very true. “A Fairy Tale for Grown Ups”. It definitely was a fairy tale and it for sure 100% was for grown-ups!! I am still in shock over everything in this book!
I agree with the other reviews that this is not for the easily offended. For that matter I also would advise that it is not for extreme religious people either. Although this book was very sexually explicit it was a good read. It was very interesting reading how the various characters played out and what came to be of them in the end.
Anya (Mrs. Claus) got her revenge by sleeping with all the elves, and that was unexpected because the first time she became aware of Santa’s affair with the Tooth Fairy she forgave and still stayed by Santa’s side. The climax of the story really had me at the edge of my seat. I was very curious on how this dirty tale would end. The ending was a perfect one for this type of book. Santa gets his wish of having 2 wives which was not foreseen because Rachael had been killed by the Tooth Fairy. I think out of all the characters that had the worst ending to it all was the Tooth Fairy. It was very well deserved being that she was the one who really started everything by seducing Santa on numerous Christmas Eve’s. (Although yes I am very well aware of the saying “It takes 2 to Tango”) I was shocked to read about her 12 sons and what she did with them. Very disgusting!
I was hoping at the end of the book that there was a book 2 about the Tooth Fairy’s sons but I see that isn’t the case. I recommend this book for people who have an open mind and are not easily offended. If the ratings on this was based on shock value alone I would definitely give it a 5. But judging the overall story I give it a 4. I really did like it, the story itself and plot was captivating and it had its shock value, but I wouldn’t rate this as being one of my favorite books that I would go recommending to people. What made this a 4 rating instead of a 3 is that the plot is actually a great one even if you take out all the sex. I hadn’t ever heard of or thought to write or read about an adulterous Santa, and a Mrs. Claus who gets revenge by sleeping with all the elves, a tooth fairy who seduces Santa Claus and a perverted Easter Rabbit who can’t control his lustfulness. If you do happen to pick this up, be warned: Everything you knew and learned about these fairy tale images will be thrown out the door and you won’t be able to see these characters the same EVER AGAIN!
January 24, 2008
Robert Devereaux, Santa Steps Out (Leisure, 1998)
My reverence of Robert Devereaux's first novel, Deadweight, borders on the worshipful. After recently re-reviewing it, both one of my best friends and Devereaux himself e-mailed me and told me exactly the same thing: to get my hands on Santa Steps Out pronto. So I did (well, a little less pronto than I should have). They were both absolutely correct.
Make no mistake, this book will offend you. Any book containing scenes where Santa Claus cheats on his wife with the Tooth Fairy in the bed of a six-year-old (who's presently sleeping in it) while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny watches is bound to find some way to offend everyone. Most who brave the uproariously funny goings-on between the mythical creatures will probably end up offended by the moral to the story, as well; sometimes the truth hurts, eh? However, as should be obvious from Devereaux's afterword, "Making Light of Santa Claus," the various publishing renegades who championed this book from the completion of its final draft until its publication eight years later didn't show up just for the beer. Devereaux shows, once again, his ability to take the looniest possible situations, things so over the top they make scenes in Dan O'Bannon-scripted films look like documentaries, and still connive the reader into forming bonds. In Deadweight, we found ourselves empathizing with a corpse; here, we commiserate with Santa Claus. Think about it.
You may think I'm stressing this point a little hard, but, well, I am. This book is not for the weak of heart, stomach, eyes, arches, or any other body part. It's the literary equivalent of Peter Jackson's outrageously funny movie Dead Alive, but with far more emotional depth sprung upon the unsuspecting reader. Those intrepid few who find themselves at its gates and make it past the first fifty or so pages are in for a fantastic ride, and the rest are missing out. Certainly in the running for my top 25 (thank you, Amazon, for expanding the lists!) reads of 2002. ****
My reverence of Robert Devereaux's first novel, Deadweight, borders on the worshipful. After recently re-reviewing it, both one of my best friends and Devereaux himself e-mailed me and told me exactly the same thing: to get my hands on Santa Steps Out pronto. So I did (well, a little less pronto than I should have). They were both absolutely correct.
Make no mistake, this book will offend you. Any book containing scenes where Santa Claus cheats on his wife with the Tooth Fairy in the bed of a six-year-old (who's presently sleeping in it) while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny watches is bound to find some way to offend everyone. Most who brave the uproariously funny goings-on between the mythical creatures will probably end up offended by the moral to the story, as well; sometimes the truth hurts, eh? However, as should be obvious from Devereaux's afterword, "Making Light of Santa Claus," the various publishing renegades who championed this book from the completion of its final draft until its publication eight years later didn't show up just for the beer. Devereaux shows, once again, his ability to take the looniest possible situations, things so over the top they make scenes in Dan O'Bannon-scripted films look like documentaries, and still connive the reader into forming bonds. In Deadweight, we found ourselves empathizing with a corpse; here, we commiserate with Santa Claus. Think about it.
You may think I'm stressing this point a little hard, but, well, I am. This book is not for the weak of heart, stomach, eyes, arches, or any other body part. It's the literary equivalent of Peter Jackson's outrageously funny movie Dead Alive, but with far more emotional depth sprung upon the unsuspecting reader. Those intrepid few who find themselves at its gates and make it past the first fifty or so pages are in for a fantastic ride, and the rest are missing out. Certainly in the running for my top 25 (thank you, Amazon, for expanding the lists!) reads of 2002. ****
July 27, 2012
What do you get when you take the myths of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, turn them on their heads, and add in a little bit of naughtiness and perversity? If you said Santa Steps Out: A Fairy Tale for Grown-Ups then you would be correct.
This story is both shocking and titillating, yet funny and reflective. I can't say I found it to be a super read. Perhaps it's because I've read too many great books lately (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, Hunger Games trilogy) to feel this was in the same league as those. And though I kept losing interest in the beginning and had trouble getting beyond the first few chapters, I read on nonetheless and found it more interesting as the story progressed, with a bit more of an underlying story going on beyond just Santa doing the Tooth Fairy every which way to Sunday.
I didn't always care for the way the author portrayed some of these characters. It's not because he turned them into highly sexual beings, for I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but some of their actions seemed a bit forced or cliche to me, almost as if you could tell they were written by a guy, with a guy's fantasies.
I'd definitely say this book belongs in the Erotica genre as opposed to the Dark Fantasy/Horror genre where it currently resides. Though the antics of the Tooth Fairy could well fit into horror at times, the actions throughout the rest of the book. and the language it uses, would definitely categorize it as erotica. And it is that part which kept me reading, and the fact that I found some of the sex scenes kind of hot. ;-)
This story is both shocking and titillating, yet funny and reflective. I can't say I found it to be a super read. Perhaps it's because I've read too many great books lately (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, Hunger Games trilogy) to feel this was in the same league as those. And though I kept losing interest in the beginning and had trouble getting beyond the first few chapters, I read on nonetheless and found it more interesting as the story progressed, with a bit more of an underlying story going on beyond just Santa doing the Tooth Fairy every which way to Sunday.
I didn't always care for the way the author portrayed some of these characters. It's not because he turned them into highly sexual beings, for I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but some of their actions seemed a bit forced or cliche to me, almost as if you could tell they were written by a guy, with a guy's fantasies.
I'd definitely say this book belongs in the Erotica genre as opposed to the Dark Fantasy/Horror genre where it currently resides. Though the antics of the Tooth Fairy could well fit into horror at times, the actions throughout the rest of the book. and the language it uses, would definitely categorize it as erotica. And it is that part which kept me reading, and the fact that I found some of the sex scenes kind of hot. ;-)
July 25, 2008
Definitely one of the oddest books I've read. This book (which is categorized in the Horror genre) is about a lusty Santa Claus who carries on a highly libidinous affair with the Tooth Fairy. And to complicate things, Santa's exploits are making the Easter Bunny crazy with jealousy. The Easter Bunny is, of course, a giant rabbit with the ability to become invisible but his only paramour is a self-made model he's named Petunia, made from wire mesh and bunny excrement. Oh, and of course Mrs. Claus finds out and gets royally ticked. She enacts a memorable revenge. This book is like some bizarre dream dripping with explicit sex, gruesome scenes of gory horror, and a benevolent Santa who enjoys taking time out from his yearly rounds to indulge himself in hours of carnality with the twisted but curvaceous Tooth Fairy. It's kind of like a Penthouse letter mixed with Clive Barker and a fairy tale. It's hard to imagine upstanding citizens reading this book and not hurling it from them with a disgusted look. But there's also some cons to this book: it's a little overlong for such a simple plot and Mrs. Claus' actions aren't always in character. I would not recommend this book to anyone who's offended by graphic sex and violence or blasphemy. But if you're looking for something truly odd then this fits the bill.
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