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Dad You Suck: And other things my children tell me
Written with self-excoriating candour and the driest humour, comes a book about being a dad from one of our best loved journalists.
“For me the hardest task of fatherhood was always the oppressive obligation to lead by example. My sons have been present on countless occasions when I have, as we say in my homeland, completely lost my shit. During these stressful moments I have often wished to turn to them as a judge might to a jury and say, “Please strike the next few minutes from the record”, but many of those instances are chronicled in these pages. It’s not because I’m any less ashamed now; it’s because if I left them out there wouldn’t be enough for a book.
Perhaps this is my life’s true maybe I’m here to teach my sons that self-esteem comes and goes – it can get rolled right out of you at short notice – but that you still can get by in life without any, as long as you don’t want to be a contestant on The Apprentice. That, at least, is my experience. And for what it’s worth, my example.”
“For me the hardest task of fatherhood was always the oppressive obligation to lead by example. My sons have been present on countless occasions when I have, as we say in my homeland, completely lost my shit. During these stressful moments I have often wished to turn to them as a judge might to a jury and say, “Please strike the next few minutes from the record”, but many of those instances are chronicled in these pages. It’s not because I’m any less ashamed now; it’s because if I left them out there wouldn’t be enough for a book.
Perhaps this is my life’s true maybe I’m here to teach my sons that self-esteem comes and goes – it can get rolled right out of you at short notice – but that you still can get by in life without any, as long as you don’t want to be a contestant on The Apprentice. That, at least, is my experience. And for what it’s worth, my example.”
242 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 18, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
July 3, 2018
Loved this book, any book that makes me laugh out loud is a winner as far as I'm concerned. Dowling describes life as a parent in a fully humorous account including all the mishaps through pets, holidays, school, sports, and the kids leaving home.
May 26, 2025
3.5
I always enjoy Tom Dowling’s writing in The Guardian, so I sought out this book. It’s a collection of his columns so it is probably best read a little at a time, rather than one after another as I did. But I enjoyed it, and it made me laugh. His bit about being “gay-married” to “Sean” hasn’t aged well, but otherwise I liked it a lot.
I always enjoy Tom Dowling’s writing in The Guardian, so I sought out this book. It’s a collection of his columns so it is probably best read a little at a time, rather than one after another as I did. But I enjoyed it, and it made me laugh. His bit about being “gay-married” to “Sean” hasn’t aged well, but otherwise I liked it a lot.
July 24, 2017
Very funny and scarily too close to the truth
A good easy read and very funny. Lots of parts that bring back memories of my own experiences as a Father.
A good easy read and very funny. Lots of parts that bring back memories of my own experiences as a Father.
October 1, 2026
The young ones
I bought this as a gift for my son-in-law, after having presented him with the same author's "How To Be A Husband" some years ago. We both read and (I think both) enjoyed that one (which is roughly focussed on the part of Dowling's home life which involves his wife), so I had high hopes for this follow-up, which concentrates more on stories about his three sons. Assembled, like his previous book, from his columns in The Guardian, It's written in the same dry, ironical fashion as he observes the things which his sons say (including, of course, the quote he's used as the title of this book) and do. To say Dowling's tone is self-deprecating is like saying King Kong is a big hairy gorilla: it's superficially accurate, but doesn't convey the full picture of how he delineates his failings and mistakes. Thus:
"As my children get older, I feel less like a stay-at-home dad and more like a neglected pet. Sometimes it makes me want to chew up something they own." [p118]
"The potting bench doesn't look like a bench. It looks like a bunch of wood wrapped in plastic with a picture of a bench stuck on the front. Before I can stop her, my wife has opened the plastic, letting the loose timber clatter to the ground. 'Shall I get you the drill?' she says." [p121]
"Also, I have a beard at the moment, the product of eight weeks of not shaving. I didn't grow it on purpose, exactly, but I'm still pleased with it. I have found the point where sloth meets affectation, and I like it there." [p191]
Turns of phrase like this still raised the occasional chuckle, but I was beginning to find this unrelenting schtick somewhat less endearing than in the previous book (which is a bit surprising, since this one is shorter). A diverting read, nonetheless.
Originally reviewed 8 May 2021
I bought this as a gift for my son-in-law, after having presented him with the same author's "How To Be A Husband" some years ago. We both read and (I think both) enjoyed that one (which is roughly focussed on the part of Dowling's home life which involves his wife), so I had high hopes for this follow-up, which concentrates more on stories about his three sons. Assembled, like his previous book, from his columns in The Guardian, It's written in the same dry, ironical fashion as he observes the things which his sons say (including, of course, the quote he's used as the title of this book) and do. To say Dowling's tone is self-deprecating is like saying King Kong is a big hairy gorilla: it's superficially accurate, but doesn't convey the full picture of how he delineates his failings and mistakes. Thus:
"As my children get older, I feel less like a stay-at-home dad and more like a neglected pet. Sometimes it makes me want to chew up something they own." [p118]
"The potting bench doesn't look like a bench. It looks like a bunch of wood wrapped in plastic with a picture of a bench stuck on the front. Before I can stop her, my wife has opened the plastic, letting the loose timber clatter to the ground. 'Shall I get you the drill?' she says." [p121]
"Also, I have a beard at the moment, the product of eight weeks of not shaving. I didn't grow it on purpose, exactly, but I'm still pleased with it. I have found the point where sloth meets affectation, and I like it there." [p191]
Turns of phrase like this still raised the occasional chuckle, but I was beginning to find this unrelenting schtick somewhat less endearing than in the previous book (which is a bit surprising, since this one is shorter). A diverting read, nonetheless.
Originally reviewed 8 May 2021
September 30, 2018
I’m a big fan of Tim Dowling’s column. It’s one of the first things I read in Saturday’s paper. So as an extension of those columns this was an enjoyable read. Probably one to dip in and out of rather than as a book to read all the way through in one sitting because of the way it’s written but an amusing bit of entertainment.
June 21, 2023
Funny and to the point. A good easy read that ticks the boxes of being a parent. This was my coffee shop partner for just shy of two weeks, and I’ll miss the many ‘laugh out load’ moments we had. The last few pages are quite touching.
August 5, 2024
I did snicker a couple of times, the author _can_ be funny. It feels like not that the jokes are not funny, but there are just too few of them. In addition to that, the audiobook narration by the author felt far from the best delivery.
February 28, 2020
Quite an entertaining and light read
September 25, 2022
Sometimes a good laugh is all you need to feel better.
December 5, 2022
Wryly amusing
September 7, 2024
Hilarious, heartwarming, and very smart.
October 29, 2020
I follow Tim Dowling on a weekly basis in The Guardian and vey much enjoy his whimsical articles. From that starting point this a great little relaxing read, easy to pickup and put down, but not quite as sharp as How not to be a Husband. Lots of light observations, a couple poignant, probably better read episodically than straight through as you become a little immune to the humour.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews