A Merc Rustad's Hot Mess. I was all ready to adore this one, because LOOK at that blurb. "Forget the convention and disregard the binary." "Pages of robots and AIs constructing lives and exploring "Humanity","Dare to feel". Suffice it to say I feel shortchanged, even lied to, for a wide variety of reasons;
Firstly, transhumanism is pretty much not a thing in the vast majority of these shorts. There are only even like, two or three honest-to-goodness artificial life constructs throughout the first 20 shorts here. I do, in fact, want to be a robot, Rustad! A surprising majority of the shorts here are folktale or fantasy, which is not a problem on its own, but look at the title! Robot! Bodily autonomy in the cyberpunk future??? I was hoping for Fisting Androids, or like The Pros and Cons of Shedding Your Flesh. Gestalt consciousness, extended lifespans, the implications of having been built. Alas, none of that really arrives in Robot here.
Surprisingly enough, representation is more than a small problem with this anthology. I'm almost having flashbacks to The Topside Collection. There do in fact be various trans leads and other characters in these shorts(it/its pronouns, even), but the only significance to it is generally beating you over the head with transphobia. You've got Where Monsters Dance, in which girlfriend Ashley's job is to get called a BoYfRiEnD by the evil dad emperor(I know), and generally be excluded along gender lines. You have Under Wine-Bright Seas and also Iron Aria, the twin sad-trans-boy stories which both have A) scenes of binding and B) WHY HAVENT YOU FOUND A HUSBAND YET MY DAUGHTER type shit. The usual, casual deadnaming and misgendering. Elsewise it's just a fun-fact and mostly irrelevant to the plot, failing to inform the leads' experiences, like in Finding Home or The Sorcerer's Unattainable Gardens. Most of it could be chopped from their respective shorts without losing anything.
Some of these are also just plain badly written, though. More than once Rustad uses YOU as a pronoun, as if addressing the reader, as if inserting them into the story. Winter Bride is guilty of this, as is Where Monsters Dance. It's like, Red is her own defined character, separate from the viewer, as is the winter bride, so what on earth is the point of this? It's cludgy, and makes my brain work hard to find-and-replace on the fly, even in the comp's best moments. There are also just plain queer clichés, like in Iron Aria when our lead boy sees this transfemme in the king's army(he can tell, gender is marked by a symbol, harr), he's all SHE IS LIKE ME ONLY OPPOSITE and I'm like Wow dude, that's fucking profound, a watershed moment. Real incredible powers of observation, sir.
I want to draw special attention, however, to Under Knife-Cold Stars, for very petty reasons. At one point in this short, a character is described as having to adjust his metal eye to the darkness, and the line is written as such;
"He focuses, slowly accustoming his senses to the new perception."
I had to check the Merriam-Webster, and this is apparently a word. However, there's no reason to not have used "adjusting" or "acclimating" in its place, because for a real word it's one of the clumsiest and most awkward turns of phrase I have seen. Shit sounds awful. Blame the autism if you want, but this absolutely burned a hole in my brain, it was terrible.
There are a couple bright spots; Mere is a cool flesh construct and the centerpiece of Tomorrow When We See The Sun, being a "sexless wraith" brought to life on the marble-ized souls of a kingdom's fallen dead and executed. Upon escaping it follows its guilty creator to put those hundreds of souls to rest, and it's bitching honestly. Really good, weird mix of sci-fi and fantasy.
If you can get past the transphobia--always the best qualifier--then you might find Where Monsters Dance to be as affecting and optimistic through its dark, fantastical rendering of familial trauma as I did. Monster was cool, Red's a total chad. I was surprised with how this one redeemed itself.
This whole collection did not, though. By the last couple of shorts, bright spots or no, Robot had become a slog for me. I was honestly planning on dropping it, especially during the dragging The Gentleman Of Chaos, which has a bunch of unpleasant hetero sex and pregnancy. There are more than zero heterosexuals in this book, and look, I'm not AGAINST straight people, just as long as they KEEP QUIET ABOUT IT! Sarcasm. Anyway, I'm actually glad I didn't drop it then, because I would have missed 12 Easy Steps To Becoming A Robot.
This short is probably what the collection was named for(maybe even why it was compiled) and in a word, it fucks. Taken as thirty or so brief pages on its own, 12 Easy Steps is pretty much everything the blurb promised and more, a neurodiverse exploration of human sociality, ruminating on the weakness of flesh, depression through the lens of circuits, feeling wrong within the constraints of humanity, and how exactly one Becomes A Robot. I love Tesla, she's such a great protagonist and the story is packed with characterisation for something so short. I really did feel it, every time her lists ended in Self Terminate. It is effective both on literal and allegorical levels. It is superb.
Having read 12 Easy Steps at the end, though, it feels like all of this other junk was collected just to fluff out the pages. It's actually not funny how much better 12 Easy Steps is than every other short here. The blurb technically does not lie, because the last 5% of the comp is what's on the tin.
Robot is still a collection, though, so I have to judge it as a whole. Of the entire three short comps that I've ever read, this is easily the worst. Worse than Topside's The Collection? Qualitatively and quantitatively it's about the same, but I feel like Robot's blurb tricked me. I waited like 200 pages for actual robot-becoming. How dare. I really don't love ragging on independent queer authors like this, but damn dude. It makes sense to me that these were gathered from various previous Rustad publications, instead of all written around a theme for this specifically. But then, why is this not called "A Merc Rustad's Various Fantasy and Sci-Fi Ventures"?
They're clearly a talented author, but you wouldn't know it to read most of Robot. Sad.