How to Be a Muslim: An American Story

by Haroon Moghul

A searing portrait of Muslim life in the West, this “profound and intimate” memoir captures one man’s struggle to forge an American Muslim identity (Washington Post) Haroon Moghul was thrust into the spotlight after 9/11, becoming an undergraduate leader at New York University’s Islamic Center forced into appearances on TV, before interfaith audiences, in print. Moghul was becoming a prominent voice for American Muslims even as he struggled with his relationship to Islam. In high school he was barely a believer and entirely convinced he was going to hell. He sometimes drank. He didn’t pray regularly. All he wanted was a girlfriend. But as he discovered, it wasn’t so easy to leave religion behind. To be true to himself, he needed to forge a unique American Muslim identity that reflected his beliefs and personality. How to Be a Muslim reveals a young man coping with the crushing pressure of a world that fears Muslims, struggling with his faith and searching for intellectual forebears, and suffering the onset of bipolar disorder. This is the story of the second-generation immigrant, of what it’s like to lose yourself between cultures and how to pick up the pieces.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Islam, Biography, Race, Ebooks

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 6, 2017

About the author

Haroon Moghul is the author of “The Order of Light” and “My First Police State.” His memoir, “How to be Muslim”, is due in 2016. He’s a doctoral candidate at Columbia University, formerly a Fellow at the New America Foundation and the Center on National Security at Fordham Law School, and a member of the Multicultural Audience Development Initiative at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Haroon Moghul is a Senior Correspondent at Religion Dispatches and a novelist. He writes extensively on international affairs, religion and culture.

Reviews

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haroon Moghul is best known because he was an undergraduate leader at New York University s Islamic Center before, during, and after 9/11. He became a spokesman for a religion that internally, he was not actually all that sure of.

I learned so much in this book, and I think it is important reading. The central conflict between Muslim teachings and American culture and how Haroon struggles through them, relationships that he fails, his struggles with depression and identity.

This would have been a five star book if the writing had been better. There are some major grammatical issues throughout, not like mistakes in typing words but in general sentence construction. This is a review copy for a book that doesn't come out until June, so I'm hopeful that they will really tackle some of those. Without that work, it's still worth the read because of the journey and what you will learn about one person's experience being Muslim in America. In the current environment where Muslims are vilified and repressed, a reminder that each life is an individual story with its own struggle is in itself a very important thing.

Thanks to the publisher for providing an early copy via Edelweiss.

[Murtaza · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great memoir by an author I know well. It is in a sense of coming-of-age story for someone caught in the position of being stuck between two identities, and very sincerely struggling to believe in something that they feel they cannot deny. The writing was often very funny, but above all it is a heartfelt and sincere account of one persons own struggles in the modern world. Light, easy and thoughtful reading that is highly recommended to people of all backgrounds.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The trials and tribulations of Haroon Moghul are certainly an interesting tale to be read not only by Muslims but by anyone wanting to understand about Muslims in general. Certainly, being a minority is hard enough and add to the current Islamophobia surrounding the world it is indeed challenging for the writer to convince non-Muslims and even himself of the sanctity of the religion.

[R · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my favorite things about How to be a Muslim, was the authors honesty. He was very open about his life and the struggles he faced while he was a young kid in high school to a college student in NYC. We all spend great portions of our lives trying to find ourselves so it was interesting to read about how the author navigated through life to find himself. I'm a huge fan of memoirs and How to be a Muslim is certainly one worth reading.

[Richard Needham · Rating 2 out of 5]

I will admit that this book was a struggle to finish, and I was disappointed with it in the end. I wanted to learn more about what being a Muslim in modern day America is like, some insight into Islam as a religion, and perhaps the reality vs. expectations of a Muslim growing up in the United States. I read the book after hearing an interview with the author, who came across well and piqued my interest. I do think that I learned from this book, and it met my basic expectations in that regard. What made reading a challenge was a lack of consistent theme and development of ideas and experiences: the author had physical and mental and many romantic challenges growing up (some just alluded to, which left me hanging) and into adulthood, quite independent of his religion, and these seemed to get in the way somehow. In better hands those challenges could have enhanced, rather than detracted from, the narrative. His experiences after 9/11, when he was a student at NYU and was thrust into the limelight were interesting, as were his extensive travels and sometimes excruciating explorations of his mind and soul. But, his epiphanies toward the end (“Talk to God, Haroon”) from his Imam seemed to lead to more confusion: the last chapter discusses, under four numbered headings, how to smooth out the highs and lows of being bipolar and then all is wrapped up neatly with a paragraph on how he has progressed through time ad space as a Muslim. Only, I just don’t get this whole journey. Isn’t that basically what we all do in our journeys through life (substituting “Christian” or “Jew” or “skeptic” perhaps). I would give this author a try again, but hope for a more compelling read.

[Jt O'Neill · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were many thoughtful passages in this memoir but I don't think the author truly delivered on his title. I was expecting more of the sound track of a Muslim's life in America but what I got was a rambling (yet often poetic account) of Haroon Moghul's trials and tribulations. Yes, he was born into a Muslim family but, actually, the book felt more like a memoir around the confusion and growth of a human being and not a discussion of how to be a Muslim. Granted, it was an interesting memoir but I had a hard time following some of the writing. Sometimes Moghul got so bogged down in details that my inclination was to simply skip a few pages. Funny, I could do that and still pick up the thread of the story but it demonstrated how episodic the book was.
As noted above, I did appreciate some of the poetic and thoughtful passages but the book overall was not as satisfying as I'd hoped.

[Elphaba · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't typically approach books with expectations, but I'll admit this was not what I was expecting. I am a Muslim too, so I thought this book was a light-hearted memoir of a Muslim battling negative stereotypes in America. (I knew Haroon Moghul as a funny guy from his social media.)

Instead the book is more about a man trying to convince himself of Islam. The author has suffered some difficulty in his life with regard to health, relationships, and mental health and I respect his search to not just believe in religion blindly, but to find the truth for himself. There are a few theological points that I would like to with him, but despite that, the memoir is an honestly-written, sometimes-fun sometimes-painful read.

[Karyl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always been fascinated by religion, but this book has shown me that my knowledge of Islam, though greater than most Americans', is sorely lacking. Moghul does an excellent job of informing his readers of the true Islam, the religion of love, not the fundamentalist version that leads to suicide bombers and membership in al-Qaeda.

It's also a coming of age memoir, one in which we journey with Haroon as he grows from a teenager who wants to fit in with his peers in white America to a man who realizes he cannot deny either Mohammed or his God, and tries to come to terms with the fact that he deserves the salvation that his religion offers. As a result, there is a lot of pages where we live in Haroon's head with him. The issue with this is simply that it becomes quite clear throughout that Moghul was a philosophy major, and he tends to throw in various philosophers and their themes mid-sentence without much of an explanation. He also tends to use rare and difficult words, ones even I've never heard of (and I have a fairly decent grasp of the English language). I began to feel as though I was back in my freshman year of college, taking a class called Religion & Ethics, taught by a professor who delighted in being as obtuse as possible and in failing as many students as he could.

For me, this memoir would have been much more effective had Moghul dispensed a little bit with trying to impress his readers with how smart he is. He truly doesn't have to impress us with which words he uses or the philosophies he references; it's clear how smart he is just by his writing. I do appreciate his use of quotes from the Qur'an, as well as discussions from various Muslim scholars on what these verses mean. But some of the discussions on philosophy and being were so muddled by such unusual words that I felt lost. And stupid.

I wish every American would read a book like this, to realize that Muslims are not to be feared, that they're part of the Judeo-Christian tradition, that their religion does indeed recognize both Moses and Jesus as prophets, that they're more our brothers than we tend to think. This book demystifies Islam to some degree, and makes it more accessible for even an agnostic like me.

[Allan Dyen-Shapiro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met the author when he gave a talk on his book at the Miami Book Fair. I came to the talk with a goal. A writer of fiction myself, I had just sold my first story with a Muslim character. However, I'd yet to attempt a Muslim POV character, because I did not know enough to pull off the interiority required. I enjoyed Moghul's banter at the talk with several audience members, revealing shared experiences of growing up Muslim. I decided to purchase the book and enjoyed a brief conversation with the author when I had him sign it.

In reading it, I was indeed offered further insight into the experiences that formed Moghul as an American Muslim. I especially appreciated the insights coming both from his study of philosophy and his study of Islam. The author acquainted me with Muslim scholars of which I was not previously aware and pulled it together into a coherent worldview.

The book was also a story of a man growing up bipolar, a serious mental illness. These parts were poignant and definitely gave insight into his character.

The one limitation is that he grew up rich, as did everyone he mentioned knowing in the book. Certainly with his experiences heading up the NYU Islamic Center he encountered Muslims of varying social classes. So why did he only speak of those who are rich like his family? I don't know.

It also ends on an uncertain note. It would seem from reading this that personal issues and dealing with mental illness had overwhelmed the political activist on peace issues and largely silenced him. But listening to the author speak told me this wasn't true at all. He has morphed into an activist for Muslim-Jewish dialog, a venture of increasing importance, given the fusing of many strands of bigotry in alt-right America. Was the abrupt ending meant to allow for a sequel? I couldn't tell.

Regardless, even if not a smooth narrative--and whose life ever is?--this book contains sufficient insights to be well worth reading.

[Yaaresse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't believe the same algorithm that suggests things like doggie Christmas sweaters for the dog I don't have or want, toddler eating utensils for the child I don't have or want, and red and pink lace men's thongs for the Chippendale dancer dude I don't have (but might consider) also suggested this book. Amazon, what have you been smoking? (Seriously, what has their algorithm programmer been smoking because it NEVER suggests anything I want/need/like, and after 20 years of purchasing crap from them, you'd think they'd get it right more often then not.).

ANYWAY. Turns out this was a really intriguing and fascinating book that I enjoyed reading. Mogul is a bit spoiled and self-absorbed and can whine with the best of them about silly things, but he's also insightful, has a sense of humor about himself, and is an excellent writer.

The title is a bit misleading, as this isn't a "how to" book in any way. It's a memoir of a man struggling with coming of age caught between two cultures and trying to figure out what he truly can and does believe and why. Add some mental and physical health issues, and it's a real roller coaster, one that many of us can relate to despite differences in culture, religion, ethnicity, or age.

This is the sort of book that makes me wish I still had a book club. There's just so much here to discuss.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like 2.5 stars but I'll round up.

[Ruby · Rating 5 out of 5]

"...Islam is a religion, yes, but Islam is also a cultural identity, a heritage, an ethnic marker, a civilization, and sometimes more these things than faith."

"To be Muslim is to be the stunted descendant of giants, to live in the ruin of your own civilization."

"When we're not taught about boundaries, about the value and dignity of our bodies, we're rendered vulnerable to anyone who preys on our ignorance."

[Stephen Brusatte · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book. I am a scientist, and don't often read memoirs, or books on religion (not that I am anti-religious). But this book belongs up there with my two favorite memoirs of the last several years, Hillybilly Elegy and Dreams From My Father. Haroon Moghul tells a story that hasn't often been told in this format, and which is increasingly important in our angry and polarized times: what it is like to grow up as as Muslim in the United States.

What I loved best is that Moghul weaves together his own story of growing up (the son of Pakistani immigrant doctors; struggling with his faith in high school and having his beliefs reaffirmed through a chance trip to the Middle East; serving as the leader of NYU's Muslim student center during 9/11, and much more) with the story of Islam as a faith, culture, and history. I (embarrassingly) know very little about the history of Islam and the central tenants of the faith, and in a stealth way this book delivers the Cliffs Notes version. I learned a lot!

But ultimately this is the story of one very fascinating person. There are dark moments, and reflections on mental illness, family and career struggles, and deeply personal doubts. All throughout, however, is a raw honesty and a sense of humor, with some beautiful prose and killer turns of phrase ('every journey has its potholes and its assholes'--I'm going to borrow that one!). The author is relatable, and you find yourself rooting for him as he tells his story.

Highly recommended to anyone with an interest in religion, culture, and modern American life.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a memoir of Haroon Moghul's coming of age in America. He struggled with an unnamed birth problem which plagued his childhood. Later he also struggled with bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation. Throughout it all, he struggled with fitting into a mostly non-Muslim America.

The descriptions of his struggles, however, seem somewhat distant. I didn't feel what he was feeling and his experiences seemed more like reporting than bringing me into what was happening to him.

There was one vividly described incident that did stand out for me, though in Chapter 23. Here Moghul describes hearing Imam Idrees Abkar, substituted at the last moment for a more famous imam that Moghul came specifically to hear. But Idrees Abkar, touched Mogul's soul and as he described this, I was also touched:

”Abkar was not leading us in prayer. He was talking to God and we happened to behind him, squeezed in so tightly we could hardly find place for our foreheads on flawless plush carpet. We were realizing what he was realizing, in the course of his supplicating, that he was talking to Him, and this nearly did him in.” p. 203

If other chapters had had this sort of heartfelt writing this would have been a much more interesting book.

I received a copy of this book through LibraryThing Early Reviewers program in exchange for an honest review.

[June]

This book turned up in my mailbox a few weeks ago, a surprise gift from the publisher. It was a nice surprise: an intensely personal spiritual memoir, authentic, ironic and redemptive, written in a conversational style that occasionally turns into poetry.

I have heard the violent story of 9/11 so many times, but never have I paid attention to the quieter story of how a group of students at NYU, led by the author, built up their Islamic student ministry from a tiny student club to a full-fledged chaplaincy. That alone is a great achievement, and a story that deserves to be told. But it’s the lesser story here.

The heart of this book is the author’s search for his own faith, how he learned to talk to God, and how a suicide attempt was prevented by a simple act of kindness. He succeeds, I think, in connecting to the dreams and the doubts experienced by every believer (unless they are lying). Thank you for this beautiful book.

[Dina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Library Journal and Publisher's Weekly comments are direct and to the point and is a good contribution to the field of immigrant men especially Muslim men, hopes of families and unspoken hopes and fears, as well as dealing with mental illness. It is a heavy and serious book. At times, I found it difficult for me personally to read so I skimmed much of the middle.

I had heard the author, Haroon Moghul, a Pakistani-American, interviewed on NPR about his book and also about his experience as a participant and later Fellow in Jewish-Muslim Relations at the Shalom Hartman Institute of North America. He is also a Contributor at the Center for Global Policy. I had hoped that the book would include a significant about about his experience at the Shalom Hartman Institute but it did not. I would love to know more about that as the work of the institute seems very important and I'd love to know Moghul's thoughts about it.

[Zippergirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forest Park. Brightwood Hardware. Amostown Road. The author and I grew up, oblivious to one another, sharing stomping grounds. We also shared a lack of social graces, and inner rebellion against our religious upbringings; his Muslim, mine Roman Catholic. The whole, "God, why did you makes me a skeptic if you wanted me to believe?"

If you might like a peek into the somewhat anguished life of a wannabeliever, as he seeks his path in locales East to West, join Haroon for this look back at his New England childhood and his struggles to define himself. In places, his honesty is cringe-worthy which allows his story to resonate with any reader who has struggled with cultural or familial bonds in their search for themselves.

[Cindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Halfway through I stopped reading. It was not enjoying the author's struggle with his faith and beliefs. I wasn't feeling judgement but uncomfortable as it was making me think of my own children's experiences. He never felt like he belonged anywhere and had a lot of guilt about being a fake Muslim. I am sure some of this nags at my own self reflection. Also the battle against his spiritual nature. I guess I'm getting too old and don't want to be reminded of things in life over which I have no control.

He also makes references to things I don't understand. Names and words that don't even show up on google. It seemed more intellectually or even arrogantly obscure than religious.

[Zee Monodee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kept expecting this book to really live up to its title - how to actually be a modern Muslim in today's world, esp. post 9/11 America, as it seemed the author had been in the spotlight back then regarding interfaith discussions and the like.
Instead, it was long-drawn account of Haroon Moghul's life, instances in his existence, things that have happened to him, etc. Not much about what being Muslim in today's America is like.

[Jill Maller-kesselman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I began Haroon Moghul's memoir eager to gain more insight into what it was like to grow up in the US as a Muslim in a pre-9-11 America and about the author's journey into adulthood as a Muslim American in a post-9-11 Islamaphobic nation. Sadly, the book fell short of my expectations and ultimately I forced myself to finish it.

The beginning of the book that details the author's adolescence and beginning college years is strong and I became quickly engaged. Haroon's early story seemed similar to the story of many children of immigrants and children from very religious families. In many ways it was a familiar story of an adolescent trying to forge his own identity and find balance between a strict, traditional upbringing and his own strong desire to fit in with his peers and be like any other American teenager. I often found myself thinking about how similar the author's adolescence was to my own, despite the fact that I am a Jewish American who grew up in a predominantly Jewish community, unlike the author who was the only brown-skinned Muslim in his high school. Yet somehow, Haroon's story seemed to transcend religion and race and go to the heart of what it is to be an adolescent.

Where this memoire fell short was in the author's telling of the important story of what it was like to be a Muslim American college student in NYC after 9/11 who was forced into the role of spokesperson for his community. While we learn about his admirable accomplishments in expanding and reenvisioning NYU's Muslim student organization by creating an environment where women and Muslims of all levels of observance were welcomed and encouraged, I did not feel like I gained insight into the struggles the author faced in coping with 9/11 or in being a spokesperson.

As the book continued, I felt too much detail and space were devoted to the author's musings about Islam and not enough devoted to other factors that shaped the author's life, such as issues that impacted his health since childhood and psychiatric. I felt lost, or simply lost interest, in the many pages devoted to the Koran and the author's thought processes on Islam. We learn In detail about the author's first girlfriend, first wife, affair and yet very little about his courtship with his current wife and are simply informed at the end that he has one.

While the book began as engaging, it lost me as it continued and ultimately I struggled to finish, hoping that the author would pull it all together in the end. He didn't. But perhaps he is still struggling for his own clarity and this is in some ways a reflection of that.

As a postscript, I had the pleasure of hearing the author speak. He is an extremely engaging speaker! Go hear him if you have the chance!

[Bill Weaver · Rating 1 out of 5]

So this is the marketing blurb for How to be a Muslim: "Haroon Moghul was first thrust into the spotlight after 9/11, as an undergraduate leader at New York University's Islamic Center. Suddenly, he was making appearances everywhere: on TV, talking to interfaith audiences, combating Islamophobia in print. He was becoming a prominent voice for American Muslims. Privately, Moghul had a complicated relationship with Islam. "

Sounds interesting, right? A struggling Muslim speaking as a voice of Islam in New York after 9/11. Well, unfortunately, the marketing for this book was much better than the book itself. Or maybe the marketing was just plain misleading because this book may have spent one page on 9/11. Here are things covered more than 9/11 or being a Muslim after 9/11: working out, the Lord of the Rings, and every girl that ever spoke to the author from middle school to publication. Like, seriously, every girl. 

Does the book discuss the modern American Muslim's struggle with his unique faith? Sure. But not in an interesting way because again, this isn't the real focus of the book. The real focus of the book is the author himself, who seems to be writing less of a memoir and more of a really long, really bad college admissions essay. Everything is a mix of, "You should feel bad for me," and "You should be impressed by me." Woe is me. Wow is me. Over and over.

Also, the writing was bad. There had to be a couple dozen sentences like this: I'm not saying bipolar disorder can be cured by positive thinking. Except I am. (This one is real, which is problematic for reasons beyond the writing). Watermelon and milk won't make your stomach explode, but will they? This book was worth reading. However, it wasn't. Phrase. Coordinating conjunction. Opposite of phrase. I wanted to throw the book there were so many of these terrible sentences. One, okay. Two, stop. Two dozen? Fire your editor and take up a different profession.

Anyway, this book is not about How to be a Muslim. It is not about Islam. It is about one Muslim, his struggles in high school, his struggles in college, his struggles with women, and his struggles professionally. Are they all related to Islam? After reading this book, I'm not sure, but I know I want my money back.

[Elijah Bey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haroon Moghul is a Pakistani-American academic and commentator on Islam and public affairs. Haroon is a young Muslim leader who wants to have a great American Muslim identity. Reading about Haroon Moghul was very interesting. As Harron introduces him and his lifestyle you can actually feel the flow of how he speaks to the readers. He suffered from many faiths and also a bipolar disorder. As Moghul moves through the modern world he notices the wardrobe is being judged to be a terrorist but he not. He tries to understand many heritages. Moghul stressed about being a Muslim. This book is certainly interesting to read. The most exciting part was during the reading realizing the author wrote upon his own life truly through the whole book. I really didn't like the ending of the book. I wish I could of learned more about being a Muslim in modern day in America today. But other than that it was great.

[Fatih · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an interesting read. Looking at the title, I was actually expecting to be exposed to a more non-contextual story of challenges facing the American Muslims. Still the intriguing life story of the Author was in may ways related to such challenges. Most of the time, there are no sound proposals on how to address those issues. Instead we learn how the author failed and succeeded through the pitfalls he had to go through as he lived his tumultuous life. It is comforting to know that the author seems to have managed to land on a less shaky existence towards the end of the story. I commend the author for his candidness and courage in discussing the issues that are considered taboo by many of his fellow believers.

[Samina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raising first generation American kids, I was very interested in reading this book after I heard Haroon Mughal's interview on NPR. Overall, the book was very good if very intense and depressing at different points. I did however feel that he rambled a little bit in some spots, especially in the middle of the book where I started losing interest. He got back on track quickly though and in the end even I (who did not grow up here) could relate to certain aspects of the book. I am definitely going to recommend that my teenager read this book.

[A S KHAN · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting Much from the Book, which it failed to delivery, I was expecting answers but the book is not what turned out to be in the end. Though The struggle Shown in the book is true for all the Muslims, specially the Younger Generation, Theological Islam versus Practical Life we are all bit confused, Neither we satisfied with Western Ideology nor with the Eastern rigidity, The Path of Islam is somewhat in between the East and the West, we need liberation in expression and life but society without GOD is Not an Muslim Way, Lets hope Allah shows us the way.

[Kayla Rae · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should be called "How to Be Depressed", which is not a derisive comment, but rather a truer identification of the main theme.

Like others, I found the style of writing to be a little...off. Some parts sounded like they had barely been edited after a stream-of-consciousness-induced bout of frantic writing. A few sentences barely made sense. Nonetheless, I finished the book and found some parts hard to stop reading, but I wasn't terribly impressed with the whole.

I won an ARC through a Goodreads giveaway.

[Nabeel Ahmed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, heartfelt, honest - I couldn't stop reading. I really enjoyed it because Haroon tells the story of his vulnerabilities so well. I related to a lot in the book, as someone who wonders if he is a good Muslim and as someone who cares about Muslims in public life.

Yes, the title is a little misleading, but that's okay. I actually prefer the personal storytelling far more than purported guidebook. I would have been interested in reading more of his thoughts on Muslim organizations and charities, and what it is like to be a "professional Muslim", but perhaps later.

[Johnna Cee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir really touched me, as someone who struggled with a moment when suicide was going to happen, a chronic mental illness , and was raised in a deeply religious background I could really understand his struggles and I was impressed with his honesty. I was raised Christian, southern Baptist in fact and I never found my way back to my religion. I'm glad he was able to make peace with God. A lot of people were uncomfortable with his frankness and complained about it, but for me this was an important story to hear and I felt less alone in the world, I'm sure people like me will too.

[Becca Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to get through this book faster than it actually took me. I appreciate being able to read the perspective of someone of a different faith. There was so much I had to pause & consider. Some of the writing seemed a bit choppy but it's a memoir, not an essay... so I'm ok with that. Thank you for sharing your story, Haroon Moghul. I definitely have a different perspective on Muslim-American life.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest, personal, poignant and often funny memoir. Yes, it's about growing up Muslim in America, but I think anyone who's wrestled with faith or questioned their beliefs will relate. Much of this book is about struggling with health and depression. By the end of the book I came to this conclusion: there are issues in this world that divide us and on which we may never all agree, but we will have a shot at agreeing to disagree if we can focus on the many more everyday issues that unite us.