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Rethinking School: How to Take Charge of Your Child's Education

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Our K–12 school system is an artificial product of market forces. It isn’t a good fit for all—or even most—students. It prioritizes a single way of understanding the world over all others, pushes children into a rigid set of grades with little regard for individual maturity, and slaps “disability” labels over differences in learning style.


Caught in this system, far too many young learners end up discouraged, disconnected, and unhappy. And when they struggle, school pressures parents, with overwhelming force, into “fixing” their children rather than questioning the system.


With boldness, experience, and humor, Susan Wise Bauer turns conventional wisdom on its head: When a serious problem arises at school, the fault is more likely to lie with the school, or the educational system itself, than with the child.


In five illuminating sections, Bauer teaches parents how to flex the K–12 system, rather than the child. She closely analyzes the traditional school structure, gives trenchant criticisms of its weaknesses, and offers a wealth of advice for parents of children whose difficulties may stem from struggling with learning differences, maturity differences, toxic classroom environments, and even from giftedness (not as much of a “gift” as you might think!).


As the author of the classic book on home-schooling, The Well-Trained Mind, Bauer knows how children learn and how schools work. Her advice here is comprehensive and anecdotal, including material drawn from experience with her own four children and more than twenty years of educational consulting and university teaching.


Rethinking School is a guide to one aspect of sane, humane parenting: negotiating the twelve-grade school system in a way that nurtures and protects your child’s mind, emotions, and spirit.

247 pages, Hardcover

First published January 8, 2018

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2487 people want to read

About the author

Susan Wise Bauer

154 books1,095 followers
Susan Wise Bauer is an American author, English instructor of writing and American literature at The College of William and Mary, and founder of Well-Trained Mind Press (formerly Peace Hill Press).

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 264 reviews
96 reviews55 followers
January 29, 2018
As a long-time homeschooler

Many parts of this book delighted me, but a few parts frustrated me. I have been a member of the Well Trained Mind forum community for many years, and am long familiar with the author and her philosophy. It was refreshing to see that she has changed how she views many things about what and in what way kids should learn. Experience is a good teacher and kids do not all learn the same way. It’s good that she realized this; it is something I also had to reckon with in my own decade-and-a-half homeschooling three kids with different learning styles, strengths, gifts, goals.

The part that frustrates me -and this may be more a weakness of mine than of the book - is that it is all well and good to recommend your differently-learning students have tailored learning activities, but it is quite another to actually make that happen and fit it in. It takes tons of time to do non-traditional methods of learning, which is the most obvious reason why schools can’t do them much.

Also that bit about the steps and stages for helping children move into much less dependent homeschooling frustrates me because for two of my kids, this simply has not worked. They need explicit instruction, unlike the one child who learns well implicitly. So, I currently have a seventh grader who is still mostly in the Parent-at-Elbow or Hovering Parent stage for every subject. *sigh*
Profile Image for Rose.
811 reviews41 followers
January 14, 2018
If you have a child that is struggling in the K-12 system, for any reason, this is the book for you. It offers explanation, diagnosis, and treatment options. Homeschooling is only one of the many options covered. If you've already decided to homeschool, check out The Well-Trained Mind for more details about how to do it - that really isn't the focus of this book. This book really empowers you to be an advocate for and actively involved in your child's education.
Profile Image for Heather Hale.
61 reviews2 followers
January 25, 2018
This book exists for one sole purpose- to scare parents into homeschooling. I’m not anti-homeschool by any measure, but the author spends the first two-thirds of the book outlining the evils of public schools and the last third saying that homeschool is the only way out, without detailing any pitfalls of homeschool. If you are currently homeschooling, you will probably like her way of thinking. If you are trying to make public school work in your family (which is supposedly the premise), this is a complete waste of time.

What’s most offensive to me is that the author is so clearly biased- she was homeschooled and then homeschooled her children. That’s fine, but then why write a book about the public school system, of which she knows very, very little? The author also holds herself up as an authority then repeatedly tells the reader, “I’m not a mental health professional.” There is zero credibility.

The only redeeming grace is the quotes and studies she shares. There are some informational gems if you ignore the narration completely. In truth, the primary sources are the only reason I finished the book. My advice? Get the sources from the bibliography and don’t read the book.
Profile Image for Kim.
611 reviews8 followers
August 3, 2019
I read this book looking for advice on how to work within the school system when you feel your child's needs aren't being met. And there was a lot of advice for that, but ultimately this author was pushing for homeschooling. And, unfortunately, this author also said that medicating a child with ADHD is "drugging them into compliance" and that kids diagnosed with ASD-1 are actually just immature and that their "so-called problem behaviors are a lot more likely to occur in children who aren't taught and praised, who are given unclear commands, who are asked to do tasks that they can't manage and who aren't provided snacks when their blood sugar gets low." A pat on the back and a snack will apparently cure autism. Such inane and uneducated comments as that bring the accuracy and helpfulness of the entire rest of the book into question and for that I can't give it many stars.
Profile Image for Amber Knapp.
8 reviews3 followers
May 6, 2018
This will be a good one to revisit as we enter the later stages of schooling. This is a good book to read for any parent with kids in school, public, private or at home. Having taught for a decade in the public school system I wish I would have been more aware of the background of our system and been more brave to push back against things/expectations/rules that didn’t make sense for kids or were clearly not best for the many different learners present. It would have helped me be a better teacher to them and now I hope will aid me in being better for my kids. This is not an answer to all problems but definitely a good exercise in thinking and reshaping or challenging beliefs around education and what makes it “good”.
Profile Image for Sarah Hyatt.
219 reviews33 followers
August 21, 2022
I'm counting this one as finished, even though I skimmed the homeschooling sections.

If I could design a book that I expected to be exactly my niche, this would be it. Out of the box solutions for a kid while still being in the school system? Check! Complete rejection of the school SYSTEM as a monolithic thing? Check! Complaints about how forking damaging schools often are? Check! Aesthetically pleasing cover? THE ICING ON THE CAKE.

But this book was so extremely disappointing. There are a few chapters that are helpful, mostly around the idea that hey, you don't just have to accept what the school hands you, and then a lot of chapters that aren't, including an ableist rant about how learning disabilities are overdiagnosed (it's an odd take clearly centered around the author's bias against the word "disability" because on one hand, she's like, yeah, these kids have these learning ~dIfFerEncEs~ but they're definitely not disabilities! No, Susan, they are. AND THAT'S OKAY. Like she's so close to being insightful and then just... isn't. Oddly enough everything in that chapter could be equally used to make a case for why "rethinking school" is a good thing to do. It doesn't need the ableism to be a strong argument. But she chooses to take it there. It's weird).

Other suggestions include being sure to teach your kid to read before they start school (because that's developmentally appropriate and in keeping with the arguments elsewhere that kids all. learn differently), using flashcards and academic instruction for preschoolers, "after-schooling" subjects in which your kid is needing additional support or challenge (at the same time she argues against homework), volunteering as a regular helper in the classroom before asking for "accommodations" in assignments from teachers, using the word "accommodations" to mean "flexibility in assignments" when "accommodations" it's an actual legal thing that students with disabilities are entitled to by law and not a special consideration, and so on, and so on...

Her response to homeschooling parents dealing with defiance is at some points "you're responsible, you're the teacher and they're bored" (this seems valid, this is the main critique of the public school system and honestly something every teacher should take to heart) and then in the next breath "IDK, we never deal with defiance, my kids would never, you need therapy." And let me say for the record, therapy is GREAT. Normalize therapy for everybody. But the way it's used in this book feels like the typical weaponized "get counseling" that's thrown around in the same way religious people say "you need prayer/I'll pray for you" and also in a way that is dismissive and ignorant of the fact that not all therapy is created equal, that bad therapy is worse than no therapy, and that maybe the whole conversation is beyond the expertise of the author and outside the needed scope of the book.

I know some people have added this book as a result of me adding it. If you can easily get it from the library for free, like I did, have at it. Skim it. There are some out of the box ideas. Not as many as I was hoping from the title, and too much other garbage to wholly recommend it.

If you're looking for a book along these lines with less wading through nonsense, Heather Shumaker's It's OK to Go Up the Slide is aimed at school agers and deals with questioning the system in a much better way. Peter Gray's Free to Learn is also helpful. I also found a lot of insight into education and parenting in general in The Brave Learner by Julie Bogart, which is aimed at homeschooling families but is applicable to all.

Updating because I finally found a resource that captured what I wanted from this book — RaisingReaders on Instagram is a PHENOMENAL resource on deschooling even for those who aren’t homeschooling.
Profile Image for Mandy.
583 reviews5 followers
March 4, 2018
“Who do you want this child to become?” And “Who does the child want to be?”
I really like how the author hits home about the importance of focusing on the child as an individual and not producing another teenager from a “mold.” Qualities and not accomplishments.
Rather than asking the age old question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We should be asking “Who do you want to be?”

While a lot of this book didn’t really apply to my family since we already homeschool (and haven’t had to deal with public school), I did find it empowering to know that as parents we do have more of a say and a large role in their education. It’s our responsibility to advocate for them and recognize when something isn’t working, we can make adjustments. Speak up to teachers and administrators - and keep in mind that we’re dealing with individuals...different learning styles, passions, struggles, etc.

I do think this is a great book/resource for all parents (with children in K-12), whether public school or homeschool. The exercises/challenges are helpful and thought provoking - and I think the book, as a whole, could serve as a guide to find what works for best for the child and family unit.

Profile Image for Melanie Rightmyer.
431 reviews28 followers
March 15, 2019
This book is mostly useful for those parents who have kids in the public school system. There are useful bits of information for homeschool parents too. Another great book to have on my shelf for reference!
23 reviews
January 9, 2024
The book itself is ok, I guess, but it wasn't what I expected or what I needed at this time. I don't agree with her on learning disabilities or what things are developmentally appropriate. Like sorry, there's nothing shameful or disingenuous with a child saying that they're dyslexic, but I got the impression that the author doesn't understand learning disabilities.
Profile Image for Amy T..
269 reviews11 followers
August 25, 2018
I have a lot of respect for Susan Wise Bauer as a home educator, and I loved a lot of what she had to say in this book. The idea that our current K-12 system does not serve students of all learning types, that each grade level’s skills and knowledge are so narrowly defined that there is no room for natural vaiations in maturity levels, and that getting your child a customized education might be more possible than you think. A big YES to all these things.

But for some reason the chapters on dealing with learning differences within the context of a traditional classroom rubbed me the wrong way. I’m not sure why, other than Bauer comes across as very opinionated, and I don’t think she has much personal experience in this area.

I did appreciate the chapters on homeschooling, particularly homeschooling high school and what would need to be included on a transcript. I also added some of the books in the bibliography to my “to read” list.

Overall, the scope of this book is too broad: How to deal with a myriad of issues in a traditional classroom PLUS everything you ever wanted to know about homeschooling. What I would love to see from SWB would be more of a memoir, describing her experiences growing up in the early days of homeschooling, becoming a well-known name in the homeschool speaking circuit, and what she learned by homeschooling her own kids. She alluded to all of this, but I would like to see it fleshed out and in a volume on its own.
Profile Image for Emily.
188 reviews4 followers
September 7, 2019
This book was helpful in encouraging me to question some things about our school that are presented as "have to's". I think there are sections of the book that are helpful to all parents with kids in public school, but it is primarily focused on parents with kids in public school that are struggling. My kids are neither gifted or delayed (so far, at least), and I have often felt they are overlooked in school for being average - the same is true in this book.

There was a point in the book that rather infuriated me when she spoke about the push for a [college] education that gave me the impression that she did not see value in trade schools, or skilled labor-type jobs. However by the time I reached the final chapter I realized that I must have misunderstood her. Which is good, since there is a shortage in supply for those jobs.

Also, as I noted while I was reading the book, although Ms. Bauer acknowledges the faults of the public school system, she brushes past the realities that make it so. The book reads to me as very much focused on the privileged and elite of our society who can eschew much of what the rest of the society must endure.

My favorite thing about the book was her constant emphasis that school is not for college prep, but about preparing for LIFE.
Profile Image for Sarah McGinnis.
84 reviews3 followers
March 23, 2020
DNF. Sentences like this make me cringe:
"Tests are the only leveler that outside observers can use. So standardized tests are not going to go away anytime soon. Knowing how to take those tests can actually be a valuable life skill, even though they're arbitrary and unreliable". I thought this book would offer new methods or suggest alternative education options but instead it's more of a how to book for homeschool parents / parents who are trying to get special treatment for their children in a broken public education system.
Profile Image for George.
237 reviews2 followers
January 30, 2023
A clear and concise book that does exactly what the title says it does. Bauer takes issue with the K-12 grading system in the US claiming that it does not make proper contingencies for the individual. Instead, designed much like the factories that were popping up at the same time, the K-12 grading system treats each kid like an identical piece of machinery. This book was helpful to me as it underlined the fact that K-8 grade needn't be nearly as structured as is popularly believed. These grades in fact will have little to no impact on their futures assuming the time isn't completely wasted, and the kids are introduced the core material requisite for high school. Bauer also believes in the idea that each subject is its own island, and kids have natural talents in each. Some may be good at math while others excel in history. Allow each kid to benefit from their natural talents, without falling into the trap of too quickly pushing them forward a grade and into a social situation they are not mature enough to handle. Overall, the book was a couple years away from being really useful to me, but it has given me some ideas for when the time comes so I won't have to start out from scratch.
Profile Image for Jessi.
271 reviews28 followers
April 23, 2018
I would recommend this book to anyone whose children are in public schools. It has some pointers for getting around the system and for taking charge of more aspects of your children's education than you typically might think is possible. (For example, she gives tips and information about opting out of homework or standardized tests.)
She gives the very most basic tips on how to opt out of the whole system, too, if interested, but that is not the point of this book.
Profile Image for Holly Minion.
197 reviews5 followers
May 12, 2018
As we prepare to start the schooling journey with our oldest, my husband and I have both been doing a lot of research on education. Learning about the history and pitfalls of graded k-12 education in America has definitely been eye-opening. It reaffirmed our decision to plan for a post-high school gap year before college and to encourage our boys in their personal education paths. This book really emphasizes that each child is created differently with different gifts and that those differences aren't bad, but rather something to be celebrated. The author covers both how to handle difficulties inside a traditional school system as well as a home school environment. It is a book I will think about for a long time.
Profile Image for Stefan Hull.
72 reviews11 followers
March 23, 2018
Very encouraging read for a classically minded homeschool family. Challenged my thinking on what education is. It was especially eye opening since I am a product of the public education system and have been greatly shaped by it. A good portion wasn’t relevant to my family, being geared toward families in public schools, but still a recommended read.
Profile Image for Julie Mabus.
345 reviews17 followers
May 19, 2020
I think every parent should read this book. Many of the things were not new to me but I think there is some very helpful ideas that are addressed that will help parents evaluate the education of their children.
Profile Image for Ivan.
754 reviews116 followers
December 12, 2018
Full of unconventional advice for your child’s education whether you homeschool or not. Extremely helpful for a newbie in this area.
Profile Image for Melissa.
443 reviews9 followers
March 15, 2019
This gave me so much to think about, and the works cited is sending me off to think about even more!
Profile Image for Sarah.
39 reviews
May 12, 2019
Well organized, informative, and very helpful. I especially enjoyed the author sharing her journey and life lessons. Research and arguments are strong and solid. A great resource.
10 reviews
Read
January 19, 2018
I am not rating this book because I skim-read large portions of it since quite a bit of the information doesn't really apply to my teenagers. However, I so wish that the book had been available when they were young! This is a great tool for any parent; Bauer gives a brief history/assessment of our educational system & then offers a sliding scale of recommendations for parents whose children are not being well-served by the system. She does end with homeschooling, but provides several other options first.
Profile Image for Elizabeth Peterson.
89 reviews8 followers
February 20, 2018
Parents everywhere should read this, whether you intend to homeschool or not. SWB makes fantastic points about the failings and arbitrary assumptions of our education system/mindset, and provides information that could help you navigate the school system with struggling child. If you ARE homeschooling, it’s a must read.
Profile Image for Karen (Living Unabridged).
1,177 reviews64 followers
February 19, 2018
Highly recommended for all parents of school age children.

Newsflash: the K-12 system is not designed for all children (or even most children). So, how do you make it work for your child within your family's unique strengths and weaknesses? This book is full of practical advice, wisdom, and wit.
391 reviews24 followers
May 15, 2018
When I heard that SWB has written a book on “rethinking school” I was skeptical. I know she’s penned curriculum, so I wondered if she had changed her view on homeschooling?

No. She has not. But then this book isn’t entirely about that. This book is really about how to make education work for your child no matter which path of education you choose.

SWB still advocates home schooling as an optimal choice (because of its natural flexibility), but she also gives a plethora of idea and tools to help parents in traditional school settings have the ability to help their children succeed.

She really pushes you to think outside the box of education-as-we-know-it and this book was well worth the read. I was greatly encouraged. Definitely recommend it for any parent with a child in school (home or elsewhere), but especially those who are struggling in some area.
Profile Image for Katie.
633 reviews10 followers
March 15, 2022
This book has a lot of good information. It takes you through navigating the school system for children with learning disabilities and children that are gifted (including those that are both). She also discusses homeschooling at the end.

The only reason I wouldn’t give this 5 stars is her tone. She is a homeschooler and has a backlist of homeschool education books and curriculum. Which is the reason I found this book. I could tell throughout the book that she tended to be heavy handed toward traditional schools and the whole time was pointing to homeschool. So while I agree with pretty much everything she says, I’m not sure this book will come across well to all of its readers especially if homeschool is off the table for them.
Profile Image for Michelle.
7 reviews
January 10, 2018
I have been homeschooling with The Well-trained Mind for almost 8 years, so when I saw SWB had a new book coming out, of I picked it up. In Rethinking School, SWB offers sound advice to all parents regarding their children’s education. I absolutely agree with SWB, “Not everyone can, or should, homeschool.” (p.182). So, how does one work within the K-12 system? This book answers that question. Even as a homeschooler, I found Rethinking School helpful and informative for my own children’s education. The Thought Experiments in Part IV are especially wonderful and I plan to work through them at least once a year, maybe twice.
Profile Image for Julie.
754 reviews
February 17, 2018
3 1/2

A worthwhile resource for any parent of a K-12 student in the public school system. Slightly less useful for a homeschool parent, like myself, but I appreciated much about the book - particularly the thought experiments.
Profile Image for Rachelle.
90 reviews6 followers
May 22, 2018
For every parent who wants to nurture their child's soul. Loved this book that reminded me not to parent out of fear, not to make educational decisions out of fear (or based on what colleges are looking for) and find the heart of my kids.
Profile Image for Amy.
32 reviews19 followers
August 26, 2018
I was hoping this book would have more strategies for navigating traditional school with a home schooling mindset. Instead it was a book where pretty much every path led to homeschooling, which is not in the cards for our family.
Profile Image for Allison.
34 reviews
January 31, 2018
This one isn't necessarily helpful for someone who is already homeschooling, but I can see where it would be a useful resource for someone struggling in the school system.
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