Confessions of an Adult Product Tester

by Badger Therese

Through a chance encounter on a bus, “Kit” (not her real name) gets a job testing adult products for “Smith Corporation” (not its real name). We’ve persuaded her to share her experiences with us. This is an adult story, dealing explicitly with sexual topics, events and situations, and is not meant for those younger than 18: “Hi, Kit, I’m Matt,” he said. “I think you’re supposed to be on table 2.” He offered his hand so I shook it. He was probably 35, a little overweight, with black hair, a beard. “We’ve got four prototypes we want you to take a look at,” he said. “This is your first time here, right?” “Yeah,” I said, and I looked around. “Which is table 2?” He pointed to a table next to the girl they were all working with, so I walked over and climbed up. The tables were covered with sheets, pretty decent fabric, actually, like high thread count. Not paper, anyway. . . . Matt was holding a clear bag with black letters on it that said “SANITIZED,” and he set it on the little tray next to my table. . . . “We’re experimenting with vein patterns,” he said, handing it to me. I took the toy from him and, not ready to insert it yet, studied it as if I knew what to look for. I didn’t, of course. But I could tell it was plastic, hard but light. “Fibonacci sequence,” Matt said. “Fibonacci?” I said back. I’d heard of that, a few times in fact – we’d covered it in math and biology. So I was tempted to act like I knew what he was talking about. But I had no idea how you went from a number sequence to what I was holding in my hand. “If you look at how the veins are laid out,” he said, “there’s kind of an order to them. Put it in.” Put it in. Just like that. Either he had no idea what he was asking me to do, or he knew I was nervous and was trying to make it seem normal.

Genres: BDSM

109 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 23, 2017

Reviews

[Hollow Well · Rating 3 out of 5]

The tension in this story lies in the normalization of the act of sex.

Kit writes a summary of her tenure as an adult product tester. The tale documents the hiring process and the things she does in order to test the products. Basically, there are a number of scientific types standing around evaluating Kit's interaction with the products. The observers are very clinical, while Kit is pushing herself to orgasms on an examination table.

As her experience increases she finds opportunities for more pay for more intimate test scenarios. She starts with dildos, then moves to strap-ons and condoms, eventually into BDSM toys.

The reader is also given a bit of insight as to how this job affects her family life and relationships.

It is a very interesting experiment, but not as compelling as the other two novels by this author.

[william w. millan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deadpan funny

Also kind of hot. Not just porno, real characters, you can almost believe it could happen but of course it's just a happy fantasy