Confessions of a Self Proclaimed Modern Existentialist

by Akul Sharma

Life isn't easy for anyone, but for the existentialists, it's a tad bit harder. For them, the burden of staying alive is raised owing to a sense of banality and futility of human existence. No blame attached to evolution for giving us consciousness, but we did outrun nature towards our doom. At age 23, Juan understood that there is no inherent meaning of life and craving for one last drug-induced high, he decides to commit suicide by jumping off the cliff at Kheerganga in Manali. This way he intends to end his life with a meaning and hopes his generation, all depressed and directionless individuals, can follow suit. But can the people he meets on the way make him change his fate?

104 pages, Paperback

First published May 24, 2017

Reviews

[Rakhi · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Review

For an existentialist, finding the meaning of life will point to several actions. To attain eternal bliss, protagonist assorted to an act that will assuredly secret DMT in our body. In order to feel the ecstasy , he decides to do that which provides maximum ecstasy, embrace death.

The fictional character Juan represents the current generation that entertains and satisfies themselves through internet. Juan, who is a self-proclaimed existentialist, decides to attain eternal ecstasy of death by the jumping off the cliff of Kheerganga in Manali. His journey to Manali is the major plot of the book. Even though Juan claims himself to be an existentialist, his thoughts are a far cry from the real existentialism. Juan meets Anita and starts to weave a web of wishlists, like having dinner with a foreigner, making out with a foreigner etc. Further his hashish addiction finds its destiny through the friends he meets later. Well hashish is not an addictive drug- claims Juan.

With an unequivocal satire, author throws light to the folly of the youth who tries to find the pleasure of travel and exploration through the virtual world. Author is indeed a well read existentialist and has a vast idea about the philosophy. But the story does not delve much into the philosophy. Author has succeeded in subtly and palpably elucidate the philosophy for an extensive target audience. With mild and subdued humor author has tried to maintained the entertainment quotient of the book.

Towards the second half of the book, author foray into drugs makes the narration monotonous. It cannot register in my narrowminded brain that most of the youth takes joint these days. Well, I don't think majority does. A few grammatical errors too added as a turn off.

Overall the book is a unique attempt to establish a philosophical satirical contemporary fiction.

This review is in return of a free book from the publisher

[Pavan Revankar]

Book starts with an amazing but depressing note, summarizing the depravity of current generation. A short read with a plethora of emotions and its absurdity, with a rather unexpected ending. A high in itself!!!!

I wrote a poem inspired by it

Your life is yours to take
When you find no meaning
and purpose to live is waning
ask yourself before ending
was there any purpose at the starting

Your life is yours to take
If its an act of revolt or sacrifice
ask yourself would it suffice
when you have lost someone
ask, did you belong to anyone

Your life is yours to lose
drugged and deep in self pity
and, has lost all its nitty gritty
cut your throat and be done with
its an act of courage not cowardice

Your life is your to take
It's not a gift bestowed
just a chance harrowed
an unassiable right born with
can't be a crime to end it

Your life is yours to take
so choose wisely!!!

[Lucidbrainz · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather quick read, the book is lucidly written and a perfect evening pick for all the existentialists out there, especially the young and self-proclaimed ones. From the very first line that starts with a spoiler alert to the ending that twists unexpectedly, the book is enriched with philosophical tidbits and is highly engaging, even entertaining at times in spite of having gloomy undertones throughout.

The author is obviously a well-read guy who's trying to survive amidst his existential crisis through mind-expanding drugs, psychedelic music, books, football and what not!