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The Half-Assed Wizard #1
The Half-Assed Wizard
A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back. The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information? Magic was never my scene, but my dad is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen. They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.
212 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 4, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
September 29, 2017
The Half-Assed Wizard: Book 1
Written by: Gary Jonas
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
I requested this audible book and the review is voluntary.
I have read almost all of Gary Jonas books and love them all so much so when I saw this I jumped for it. I have the eBook of this book but just haven't read it yet. I would love to 'hear' it. I was lucky to be chosen. This book do not disappoint. It was full of the Jonas humor, adventure, and crazy situations that Jonas characters seem to get into. Fun and exciting is the words I would describe this book. I am always glad to read his book and want to kick myself for waiting to read this.
The narrator did an awesome job so I am glad that I waited in that way. I have listened to this narrator before and he always adds so much to a story. He takes a great story and makes it "POP". Great job!!!
Written by: Gary Jonas
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
I requested this audible book and the review is voluntary.
I have read almost all of Gary Jonas books and love them all so much so when I saw this I jumped for it. I have the eBook of this book but just haven't read it yet. I would love to 'hear' it. I was lucky to be chosen. This book do not disappoint. It was full of the Jonas humor, adventure, and crazy situations that Jonas characters seem to get into. Fun and exciting is the words I would describe this book. I am always glad to read his book and want to kick myself for waiting to read this.
The narrator did an awesome job so I am glad that I waited in that way. I have listened to this narrator before and he always adds so much to a story. He takes a great story and makes it "POP". Great job!!!
October 17, 2017
I didn't know anything about Gary Jonas before I got this book. But I did listen to a few of Joe Hempel's epic narrations, and that set me up with great expectations.
Magic! I love magic!
Sadly, the book turned out to be more on an average side. Even Joe Hempel couldn't make me rate it more than 3*. His narration is still good, and I gave his performance 4* on Audible. He wasn't on top of his game either.
The Half-Assed Wizard is a well-named book. It tells us about Brett, a super-lazy person who could be a great wizard - if he only wanted to. Third son of a great Wizard, he never excelled at magic as it was too difficult - he had to practice.
I can't underline how annoying it was to hear about his life and all the things he does with it: Complaining and sleeping. In the face of threat and imminent danger, he responds with annoyance that people won't let him sleep. If he was my son, I'd beat the living shit out of him.
So, we have an extremely lazy person who lives on his dad's money, and essentially does nothing with his life. One day, two mob strongmen come at his house and tell him to just sit still and do nothing. A job right down his alley, right? There's a package arriving at his house, something his uncle stole and mailed to him, and they will pick it up and leave.
Pick it up. And leave. You. Just. Sit. Still.
No. This is exactly the moment where our annoying anti-hero chooses to find himself horribly inconvenienced because they made him get out of the bed before 2pm. He also decides it's a good idea to piss them off.
He is not a wizard, mind you. If you remember, magic was too hard for him. So we have just an ordinary guy, whose super power is taking a nap whenever he has a chance. So, no. Pissing off hired guns is not a good idea under those circumstances. ALthough rarely it ever is, to be honest.
Entire plot is a sequence of improbable events, enriched with Bretts annoyed remarks. Sometimes they were pretty funny, sometimes they were not. Writing looked like a rushed job at moments. And in addition, ending was cut seriously short.
Writer seemed to be going out of his ways to avoid cliche situations, but then ended up with something unexpected and had to work around that as well. Not very high percentage of people would follow the same train of thoughts as our protagonist Brett. Or anyone else for that matter. I'm talking about people with common sense here.
People are acting strange in this book, sometimes borderline illogical. And that prevents enjoying it. There's so much disbelief you have to suspend.
All in all - not a bad book, but not a particularly good one either. Could have been much better with some fixes, that's true, but it isn't terrible by any means. Just... not what I hoped for. When I go through my big backlog of queued up books, I will give the sequel a try.
This book has been provided to me free of charge by the narrator
Magic! I love magic!
Sadly, the book turned out to be more on an average side. Even Joe Hempel couldn't make me rate it more than 3*. His narration is still good, and I gave his performance 4* on Audible. He wasn't on top of his game either.
The Half-Assed Wizard is a well-named book. It tells us about Brett, a super-lazy person who could be a great wizard - if he only wanted to. Third son of a great Wizard, he never excelled at magic as it was too difficult - he had to practice.
I can't underline how annoying it was to hear about his life and all the things he does with it: Complaining and sleeping. In the face of threat and imminent danger, he responds with annoyance that people won't let him sleep. If he was my son, I'd beat the living shit out of him.
So, we have an extremely lazy person who lives on his dad's money, and essentially does nothing with his life. One day, two mob strongmen come at his house and tell him to just sit still and do nothing. A job right down his alley, right? There's a package arriving at his house, something his uncle stole and mailed to him, and they will pick it up and leave.
Pick it up. And leave. You. Just. Sit. Still.
No. This is exactly the moment where our annoying anti-hero chooses to find himself horribly inconvenienced because they made him get out of the bed before 2pm. He also decides it's a good idea to piss them off.
He is not a wizard, mind you. If you remember, magic was too hard for him. So we have just an ordinary guy, whose super power is taking a nap whenever he has a chance. So, no. Pissing off hired guns is not a good idea under those circumstances. ALthough rarely it ever is, to be honest.
Entire plot is a sequence of improbable events, enriched with Bretts annoyed remarks. Sometimes they were pretty funny, sometimes they were not. Writing looked like a rushed job at moments. And in addition, ending was cut seriously short.
Writer seemed to be going out of his ways to avoid cliche situations, but then ended up with something unexpected and had to work around that as well. Not very high percentage of people would follow the same train of thoughts as our protagonist Brett. Or anyone else for that matter. I'm talking about people with common sense here.
People are acting strange in this book, sometimes borderline illogical. And that prevents enjoying it. There's so much disbelief you have to suspend.
All in all - not a bad book, but not a particularly good one either. Could have been much better with some fixes, that's true, but it isn't terrible by any means. Just... not what I hoped for. When I go through my big backlog of queued up books, I will give the sequel a try.
This book has been provided to me free of charge by the narrator
September 21, 2017
This is an quick, entertaining and amusing story. Brett is the third son of a powerful wizard, but he resents his families expectations and has sailed through life as a lazy, rich kid who would rather sleep, party and play music, than have anything to do with magic or work. His easy life is turned upside down when he opens a package his uncle sent and chaos ensues from then on. Generally Brett is an indolent, smartass who is only concerned with himself, but somehow you can not help but like him as he is reluctantly dragged into the wizarding business. Magic, ancient tarot cards, shark people and a meat eating rug, combined with lots of action and dry, sarcastic humour make the story both entertaining and fun. The narrator captures the characters well and he is a master at sarcasm. He easily pulls you into the fast paced action and humour of the story and brings it all to life. I enjoyed this engaging audiobook and will look forward to seeing how Brett and his magic progress in the next book.
April 3, 2018
My original The Half-Assed Wizard audiobook review and many others can be found at Audiobook Reviewer.
Brett Masters is the son of one of the world’s greatest wizards. Magic runs through his veins, and he should be as good, if not more powerful than his father. Only problem is, he’s really lazy, and would much rather sleep until noon, play guitar with a magic pick and generally drink and smoke his way through life. When a pack of ancient tarot cards arrives at his house, his whole easy life is turned upside down. It seems everyone wants them and will use any means to get them.
Sabrina, Bretts magically skilled cousin, comes to help, but he’s having none of, still doing everything he can to retain his easy life, graciously provided by his dad’s monthly allowance. But the villains keep coming, ever more powerful, and Brett’s just going to have to do something resembling magic to keep them off, well maybe after a nap.
This tongue-in-cheek novel is a lot of fun. Brett is all about sex, drugs and rock and roll and skating through life. It’s full of colorful characters and magic objects that highlight the ridiculous nature of Brett’s world. It’s a fun poke at Harry Potter and similar stories.
The story is performed by Joe Hempel who does a great job as the voice of Brett describing his own story. All the character voices are good and easily discernible. A great job by a pro. The production quality is excellent too, as you would expect.
The Half-Assed Wizard is a light-hearted romp through the magically ridiculous. It doesn’t take itself seriously, even making fun of its own plot. “All this for a pack of tarot cards?” It is book one in a series of unknown length, but still a complete novel that wraps up fully. Future volumes are likely to involve the further adventures of the half-assed wizard and his colorful friends. If you enjoy your fantasy/magic/wizard stories with a good helping of humor, you should give this one a listen.
Audiobook was provided for review by the narrator.
Brett Masters is the son of one of the world’s greatest wizards. Magic runs through his veins, and he should be as good, if not more powerful than his father. Only problem is, he’s really lazy, and would much rather sleep until noon, play guitar with a magic pick and generally drink and smoke his way through life. When a pack of ancient tarot cards arrives at his house, his whole easy life is turned upside down. It seems everyone wants them and will use any means to get them.
Sabrina, Bretts magically skilled cousin, comes to help, but he’s having none of, still doing everything he can to retain his easy life, graciously provided by his dad’s monthly allowance. But the villains keep coming, ever more powerful, and Brett’s just going to have to do something resembling magic to keep them off, well maybe after a nap.
This tongue-in-cheek novel is a lot of fun. Brett is all about sex, drugs and rock and roll and skating through life. It’s full of colorful characters and magic objects that highlight the ridiculous nature of Brett’s world. It’s a fun poke at Harry Potter and similar stories.
The story is performed by Joe Hempel who does a great job as the voice of Brett describing his own story. All the character voices are good and easily discernible. A great job by a pro. The production quality is excellent too, as you would expect.
The Half-Assed Wizard is a light-hearted romp through the magically ridiculous. It doesn’t take itself seriously, even making fun of its own plot. “All this for a pack of tarot cards?” It is book one in a series of unknown length, but still a complete novel that wraps up fully. Future volumes are likely to involve the further adventures of the half-assed wizard and his colorful friends. If you enjoy your fantasy/magic/wizard stories with a good helping of humor, you should give this one a listen.
Audiobook was provided for review by the narrator.
October 31, 2017
Not bad, I probably wont buy the sequel though.
January 25, 2018
The Half-Assed Wizard
by Gary Jonas
This is the first book in a new series, according to the cover. Goodreads' listing indicates it was published on June 4th of this year (or 2 days ago), so guess I picked it up the second day it existed. Huh. Can't really tell, because, although there is a credit for the cover design and for the editing, I couldn't find a copyright or publishing notice anywhere on my Kindle e-book edition. (Goodreads says it was published by Denton & White). I even did a search for the words Denton and copyright and 2017 and ISBN. Nothing. Nada. Strange.
However, the book was a very quick, very enjoyable read. The characters were interesting and this reader liked who I think I was supposed to like and disliked who I think I was supposed to dislike. Always a plus. It was a fun storyline, as full of humor as it was full of action.
So, our ne'er-do-well hero, Brett, is the third-born child of the most powerful wizard in the world. All of his siblings and his near relatives have done very well in the wizarding business, but it just doesn't appeal to Brett. He's managed to reach the age of about 30 without applying himself to much of anything other than partying and playing music. Oh, and he is a first-class sleeper. All that changes when a box of ancient tarot cards is delivered to his family's ancestral home, where he lives. Will Brett come to terms with adulthood? Will he come to terms with his magical powers? A handful of wizards, a witch, some for-hire thugs, many mako clansmen (sharks made humanoid), his father, cousin, and a few of his friends, including one vampire, will get a chance to find out.
I look forward to the next book in the series, "The Big-Ass Witch."
by Gary Jonas
This is the first book in a new series, according to the cover. Goodreads' listing indicates it was published on June 4th of this year (or 2 days ago), so guess I picked it up the second day it existed. Huh. Can't really tell, because, although there is a credit for the cover design and for the editing, I couldn't find a copyright or publishing notice anywhere on my Kindle e-book edition. (Goodreads says it was published by Denton & White). I even did a search for the words Denton and copyright and 2017 and ISBN. Nothing. Nada. Strange.
However, the book was a very quick, very enjoyable read. The characters were interesting and this reader liked who I think I was supposed to like and disliked who I think I was supposed to dislike. Always a plus. It was a fun storyline, as full of humor as it was full of action.
So, our ne'er-do-well hero, Brett, is the third-born child of the most powerful wizard in the world. All of his siblings and his near relatives have done very well in the wizarding business, but it just doesn't appeal to Brett. He's managed to reach the age of about 30 without applying himself to much of anything other than partying and playing music. Oh, and he is a first-class sleeper. All that changes when a box of ancient tarot cards is delivered to his family's ancestral home, where he lives. Will Brett come to terms with adulthood? Will he come to terms with his magical powers? A handful of wizards, a witch, some for-hire thugs, many mako clansmen (sharks made humanoid), his father, cousin, and a few of his friends, including one vampire, will get a chance to find out.
I look forward to the next book in the series, "The Big-Ass Witch."
November 20, 2017
Third son of a powerful and rich family of wizards, Brett should also be powerful, it happens that he has no interest in learning to be so. Brett is extremely lazy, and never wanted to expend any effort in this learning. He likes music, parties and women, in short ... bohemia.
But everything changes when someone knocks on his door looking for a package addressed to his father, sent by his uncle and everything gets complicated, much more than Brett would like.
A fun book with interesting characters and a story that will continue to develop in the coming volumes ... so I am just going to the next one. :)
Terceiro filho de uma poderosa e rica família de magos, Brett deveria também ser poderoso, acontece que ele não tem o mínimo interesse em aprender a sê-lo. Brett é extremamente preguiçoso, e nunca quis dispender qualquer esforço nesse aprendizado. Gosta de música, festas e mulheres, resumindo... boemia.
Mas tudo muda quando alguém bate em sua porta a procura de um pacote endereçado a seu pai, remetido por seu tio e tudo se complica, muito mais do que Brett gostaria.
Um livro divertido, com personagens interessantes e uma história que continuará a se desenvolver nos próximos volumes... então, vamos ao próximo. :)
But everything changes when someone knocks on his door looking for a package addressed to his father, sent by his uncle and everything gets complicated, much more than Brett would like.
A fun book with interesting characters and a story that will continue to develop in the coming volumes ... so I am just going to the next one. :)
Terceiro filho de uma poderosa e rica família de magos, Brett deveria também ser poderoso, acontece que ele não tem o mínimo interesse em aprender a sê-lo. Brett é extremamente preguiçoso, e nunca quis dispender qualquer esforço nesse aprendizado. Gosta de música, festas e mulheres, resumindo... boemia.
Mas tudo muda quando alguém bate em sua porta a procura de um pacote endereçado a seu pai, remetido por seu tio e tudo se complica, muito mais do que Brett gostaria.
Um livro divertido, com personagens interessantes e uma história que continuará a se desenvolver nos próximos volumes... então, vamos ao próximo. :)
October 27, 2017
Funny
That was a very funny book. I like the characters and the story. Can't wait till I get my hands on the next one.
That was a very funny book. I like the characters and the story. Can't wait till I get my hands on the next one.
June 22, 2018
How appopriate that a book titled like that would have a half assed story.
Nothing happens that isn't a by the number urban fantasy:
1-Introduce male MC (It's always a male MC) in a family of Wizards or otherwise supernaturals.
2-MC is weak or outright incapable of magic and his immediate family despises him for it.
3-Introduce cousin who tolerates him.
4-Introduce McGuffin that would be immensely powerful if ANYONE but MC was using it.
5-Spend 200 pages having everyone + dog chase the MC blatantly breaking rules and causing MASSIVE collateral damage that is mostly ignored by everyone UNLESS the MC can be blamed for it (About 50% of the time).
6-Resolve the entire thing with some deus ex machina that makes the rest of the book have been an utter waste of time.
7-Make sure and NOT use the power from 4- because that would make sequels too hard to write.
Notice how I did not mention a love interest in that whole list?
Yeah there's a reason for that. They are invariably cardboard cut outs with 1 of 3 functions:
-Hostage for the Bad guy.
-source of info or temporary respite from bad guys before going back to hostage.
-Saving the MC's life once and only once before going back to hostage.
Skip.
Nothing happens that isn't a by the number urban fantasy:
1-Introduce male MC (It's always a male MC) in a family of Wizards or otherwise supernaturals.
2-MC is weak or outright incapable of magic and his immediate family despises him for it.
3-Introduce cousin who tolerates him.
4-Introduce McGuffin that would be immensely powerful if ANYONE but MC was using it.
5-Spend 200 pages having everyone + dog chase the MC blatantly breaking rules and causing MASSIVE collateral damage that is mostly ignored by everyone UNLESS the MC can be blamed for it (About 50% of the time).
6-Resolve the entire thing with some deus ex machina that makes the rest of the book have been an utter waste of time.
7-Make sure and NOT use the power from 4- because that would make sequels too hard to write.
Notice how I did not mention a love interest in that whole list?
Yeah there's a reason for that. They are invariably cardboard cut outs with 1 of 3 functions:
-Hostage for the Bad guy.
-source of info or temporary respite from bad guys before going back to hostage.
-Saving the MC's life once and only once before going back to hostage.
Skip.
June 15, 2017
A great laugh out loud book, the main character is a lazy rich easy going hippie,musician, wizard of dubious means. I would love to live his life. Please read this book and enjoy the main character getting to grips with magic or not as the case maybe. His world turned upside down when a package arrives for his father, and of course he opens it. Which in turn makes his life go down a road he really does not want or need. Wait till you get to sixty nine reference in the book it's hilarious. If your feeling a bit down, read this and laugh out loud. Fab
June 26, 2017
Juvenile wish fulfillment
Jimi Hendrix's guitar from Woodstock. A guitar pick magically imbued with the talent of a long list of pros. And a hero who is a slacker douchbag. Middle school pranks and sophomoric humor.
Blah.
Jimi Hendrix's guitar from Woodstock. A guitar pick magically imbued with the talent of a long list of pros. And a hero who is a slacker douchbag. Middle school pranks and sophomoric humor.
Blah.
July 29, 2017
Slacker is fine, but he wasn't even a particularly clever, snarky, slacker... I liked the beginning but everything rather quickly fell into the land of the trope/stereotype and that's when it lost me.
October 6, 2017
Dont like plot, protagonist, series.
Too childish even for YA. Main character a self admitted loser. Plus a jerk. Humor falls flat. I saw nothing different in this book to set it apart from a host of similar series. But it is fee,
Too childish even for YA. Main character a self admitted loser. Plus a jerk. Humor falls flat. I saw nothing different in this book to set it apart from a host of similar series. But it is fee,
September 22, 2020
Brett Masters isn't just a slacker and a disappointment to his father. He's about the most epic slacker-stroke-disappointment since Abraham said to Lot, "I give you half of my fortune and you don't even think to bring back a little salt?" (I'll be here all week.) The all-important third son of a wizard who controls the oldest and most powerful magical bloodline west of the Mississippi, Brett slacked off in his magic lessons, skipped the final exam, and now slums around a house his parents own in Galveston, Texas, where he plays in a band when he isn't sleeping into the afternoon, drinking too much and trying to get laid. Even in his music, he takes the easy route, depending on a magic guitar pick to bring the tunes in his head out of the strings. He considers napping to be his superpower.
All that starts to change – well, no, it doesn't – when Brett intercepts a package from his Uncle Paul, addressed to his dad, and inadvertently tunes a tarot deck of eldritch power to himself. Now a bunch of magical bad guys who want the deck have to kill him in order to get the deck back. (I hate to mention it, but Uncle Paul kind of stole the cards.) With his son-of-a-witch dad (ha ha) testing him from one side and his dad's enemies closing in from the other, Brett's margin of survival narrows down to a vanishingly thin thread of loyalty from his cousin Sabrina (not a witch, a wizard), a sexy vampire bandmate named Michael (luckily, he can't drink wizard blood) and the fact that he, Brett, actually possesses enormous though undisciplined power.
This is a relatively short novel, fastpaced and direct, with a magically hilarious take on millennial slacker culture and a somewhat distinctive concept of how magic works. Brett's bad attitude about everything in general, and his father in particular, makes him sometimes hard to sympathize with, but since he's the narrator you kind of have to go along with it. Nevertheless, there are hints of a private pain that may explain, to a degree, how he got to be that way, and more than a hint that his adventures as a half-assed wizard are just beginning. The characters surrounding him make entertaining company, and the seawall neighborhood of Galveston reveals unexpected possibilities as a setting for weird and dangerous adventures. All in all, I thought it was the start of a series I'd be willing to continue with.
This is the first of four "Half-Assed Wizard" books, followed by The Big-Ass Witch, The Dumbass Demon and The Lame-Assed Doppelganger, about which I would like to observe (1) that I never imagined I would go to so much trouble verifying the difference between "ass" and "assed," and (2) although I scored this book for free on Kindle, it succeeded in scoring money from me to get the sequel. Gary Jonas is also the author of about 12 "Jonathan Shade" novels (Modern Sorcery etc.), six "Hitman" books (So You Wanna Be a Hitman etc.), five "Kelly Chan" books (Vampire Midnight, etc.), and about five other novels.
All that starts to change – well, no, it doesn't – when Brett intercepts a package from his Uncle Paul, addressed to his dad, and inadvertently tunes a tarot deck of eldritch power to himself. Now a bunch of magical bad guys who want the deck have to kill him in order to get the deck back. (I hate to mention it, but Uncle Paul kind of stole the cards.) With his son-of-a-witch dad (ha ha) testing him from one side and his dad's enemies closing in from the other, Brett's margin of survival narrows down to a vanishingly thin thread of loyalty from his cousin Sabrina (not a witch, a wizard), a sexy vampire bandmate named Michael (luckily, he can't drink wizard blood) and the fact that he, Brett, actually possesses enormous though undisciplined power.
This is a relatively short novel, fastpaced and direct, with a magically hilarious take on millennial slacker culture and a somewhat distinctive concept of how magic works. Brett's bad attitude about everything in general, and his father in particular, makes him sometimes hard to sympathize with, but since he's the narrator you kind of have to go along with it. Nevertheless, there are hints of a private pain that may explain, to a degree, how he got to be that way, and more than a hint that his adventures as a half-assed wizard are just beginning. The characters surrounding him make entertaining company, and the seawall neighborhood of Galveston reveals unexpected possibilities as a setting for weird and dangerous adventures. All in all, I thought it was the start of a series I'd be willing to continue with.
This is the first of four "Half-Assed Wizard" books, followed by The Big-Ass Witch, The Dumbass Demon and The Lame-Assed Doppelganger, about which I would like to observe (1) that I never imagined I would go to so much trouble verifying the difference between "ass" and "assed," and (2) although I scored this book for free on Kindle, it succeeded in scoring money from me to get the sequel. Gary Jonas is also the author of about 12 "Jonathan Shade" novels (Modern Sorcery etc.), six "Hitman" books (So You Wanna Be a Hitman etc.), five "Kelly Chan" books (Vampire Midnight, etc.), and about five other novels.
December 7, 2019
The Half-Assed Wizard (Book 1) by Gary Jonas and narrated by Joe Hempel turned out to be way more entertaining than I expected. Recommend if you like smart-ass characters and magic. 4 ½ stars for story, 5 stars for narration.
What’s it about? Brett lives at his parents house and lacks any kind of ambition other than to play with his band and even that’s questionable. His father is one of the top magicians in the world, while Brett wants nothing to do with magic or his father. His cousin, Sabrina, is also skilled at magic, in the family business, and helps to ground Brett. One of his band mates is a vampire. Brett ends up getting himself into a life and death situation with a deck of Tarot cards. The magical objects (Hendrix guitar) and bad guys (the shark men) add a certain amusement to the story. My favorite was the carpet, Mangani, that eats people. The only problem I had is it’s difficult to connect to Brett because he’s so much of a spoiled turd at times, but his situation changes towards the end and the potential for him to redeem himself in current and future installments is a possibility. We also learn a little of why he is the way he is as the book progresses and this could serve as a lesson as to not judge because we never know what’s going on behind the scenes.
The narrator, Joe Hempel, was amazing. He nailed the MC perfectly- he had me laughing several times. Definitely a great fit for this story.
“After give or six whiskeys, I was spiraling downward, but thought I was profound and had the secret of the universe ready to spill from my lips.”
~~
“You’re not going to hook up with anyone, Brett. You have an appointment, and your father and cousin are counting on you.” (Michael)
I started laughing. “They’re f*cked.” (Brett) This scene, Joe had me laughing with the way he said this, if you listen to any part of the book, make sure it’s this scene.
~~
“I had two choices. I could be perfect, which was never going to happen. Or I could stop trying.”
Overall, I highly recommend, especially if you prefer a little magic with your snark. I will listen to the second book asap if it becomes available as an audiobook.
Parental guidance/trigger warnings: drinking alcohol, smoking a joint, sex talk, father is abusive (mention of past physical abuse and the father and MC get in a fight in the book where the father physically hurts the MC, verbally abusive), death (via multiple ways, usually magical). Language used: fx20, sx50, hellx30, and possibly more I’m missing.
*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!
What’s it about? Brett lives at his parents house and lacks any kind of ambition other than to play with his band and even that’s questionable. His father is one of the top magicians in the world, while Brett wants nothing to do with magic or his father. His cousin, Sabrina, is also skilled at magic, in the family business, and helps to ground Brett. One of his band mates is a vampire. Brett ends up getting himself into a life and death situation with a deck of Tarot cards. The magical objects (Hendrix guitar) and bad guys (the shark men) add a certain amusement to the story. My favorite was the carpet, Mangani, that eats people. The only problem I had is it’s difficult to connect to Brett because he’s so much of a spoiled turd at times, but his situation changes towards the end and the potential for him to redeem himself in current and future installments is a possibility. We also learn a little of why he is the way he is as the book progresses and this could serve as a lesson as to not judge because we never know what’s going on behind the scenes.
The narrator, Joe Hempel, was amazing. He nailed the MC perfectly- he had me laughing several times. Definitely a great fit for this story.
“After give or six whiskeys, I was spiraling downward, but thought I was profound and had the secret of the universe ready to spill from my lips.”
~~
“You’re not going to hook up with anyone, Brett. You have an appointment, and your father and cousin are counting on you.” (Michael)
I started laughing. “They’re f*cked.” (Brett) This scene, Joe had me laughing with the way he said this, if you listen to any part of the book, make sure it’s this scene.
~~
“I had two choices. I could be perfect, which was never going to happen. Or I could stop trying.”
Overall, I highly recommend, especially if you prefer a little magic with your snark. I will listen to the second book asap if it becomes available as an audiobook.
Parental guidance/trigger warnings: drinking alcohol, smoking a joint, sex talk, father is abusive (mention of past physical abuse and the father and MC get in a fight in the book where the father physically hurts the MC, verbally abusive), death (via multiple ways, usually magical). Language used: fx20, sx50, hellx30, and possibly more I’m missing.
*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!
November 13, 2017
This was a fast-paced, fun, and snarky wizarding tale. Brett Masters is way more interested in sleeping, attempting to make music with his band, and drinking than he is in family wizarding politics. He comes from a rich and powerful family and has never had to work for his keep. Things are about to be upended!
I could totally picture Brett. I’ve known a few people like him stuck in that place of not contributing to anything so it was easy to get a feel for this main character right away. The entire story, I was rooting for him, hoping he’d get his feet under him and finally save the day.
His cousin, Sabrina, showed a polar opposite to Brett. She hails from the same rich and powerful family, is an accomplished wizard herself, and is a motivational power, constantly pushing Brett to do something… anything, really. While she’s not our only female character, she is the main one. More than once she has to be rescued but she also spends a third of the time kicking butt.
The shark men! Ack! These guys were a bit creepy. No one wants to tango with shark men… unless you’re a half-assed wizard that is pretty drunk and out of good options (like running away and hiding for half a century).
There’s also Brett’s band. Michael was the one that stood out the most to me. He has dreamy vampire eyes that can melt the panties off of almost anyone. Unfortunately, his charm doesn’t work on powerful wizards like Brett’s dad or his main adversary. Michael does give Brett some much needed advice about living in the real world, but I think Brett was too drunk to take much of it in.
There’s plenty of rock and roll references. I only caught some of them. I’m sure others will recognize songs, musicians, and the like. The enchanted guitar pick was a fun little tidbit.
Overall, this tale is enjoyable. There’s not much character depth and the plot is pretty straight forward but the characters make it excellent brain candy. I look forward to the sequel! 4/5 stars.
I received a free copy of this book.
The Narration: Joe Hempel makes an excellent slacker Brett Masters. He has this perfect don’t give a flip attitude for this character. I also really liked his drunk Brett voice. His female voices were sometimes feminine and sometimes needed a little boost to sound like a woman. All his character voices were distinct. 4.5/5 stars.
I could totally picture Brett. I’ve known a few people like him stuck in that place of not contributing to anything so it was easy to get a feel for this main character right away. The entire story, I was rooting for him, hoping he’d get his feet under him and finally save the day.
His cousin, Sabrina, showed a polar opposite to Brett. She hails from the same rich and powerful family, is an accomplished wizard herself, and is a motivational power, constantly pushing Brett to do something… anything, really. While she’s not our only female character, she is the main one. More than once she has to be rescued but she also spends a third of the time kicking butt.
The shark men! Ack! These guys were a bit creepy. No one wants to tango with shark men… unless you’re a half-assed wizard that is pretty drunk and out of good options (like running away and hiding for half a century).
There’s also Brett’s band. Michael was the one that stood out the most to me. He has dreamy vampire eyes that can melt the panties off of almost anyone. Unfortunately, his charm doesn’t work on powerful wizards like Brett’s dad or his main adversary. Michael does give Brett some much needed advice about living in the real world, but I think Brett was too drunk to take much of it in.
There’s plenty of rock and roll references. I only caught some of them. I’m sure others will recognize songs, musicians, and the like. The enchanted guitar pick was a fun little tidbit.
Overall, this tale is enjoyable. There’s not much character depth and the plot is pretty straight forward but the characters make it excellent brain candy. I look forward to the sequel! 4/5 stars.
I received a free copy of this book.
The Narration: Joe Hempel makes an excellent slacker Brett Masters. He has this perfect don’t give a flip attitude for this character. I also really liked his drunk Brett voice. His female voices were sometimes feminine and sometimes needed a little boost to sound like a woman. All his character voices were distinct. 4.5/5 stars.
September 24, 2017
Review originally published at: http://www.lomeraniel.com/audiobookre...
Brett’s father is one of the most powerful wizards in the word, but Brett is just not interested in magic. He likes the easy life that comes with family money, and his expectations in life are none beyond playing with his band. One day Brett receives a mysterious package that will get him of of his comfort zone and in great danger. He will either have to change his ways or die.
As a fan of Jonathan Shade’s adventures, I was looking forward to this book. Among all the epic fantasy books, finding gems like this urban fantasy book is simply refreshing. It is not that I don’t like epic fantasy, I love it, but sometimes characters and situations we can easily relate too are welcome. Gary Jonas writes very vivid and down to earth characters and great dialogs. His books have that fresh humor so difficult to find in fantasy books, and this is what makes them amazing and original.
Brett is not an especially likable character, and that means that he will have to undergo an evolution, apart from using his cheecky techniques, to be able to save his bacon. This will make Brett an interesting character.
The ending is somehow predictable, but I still enjoyed the ride. I was a funny and light listen, ideal for a lazy day. I wish the next book was already available.
I really enjoyed Joe Hempel’s narration. He has wonderful character interpretation skills, inflicting the right amount of emotion, irony, and sarcasm. Hempel has a decent voice range and knows how to use in a subtle way, something important when narrating audiobooks. The best part is that he makes you forget that you are listening to a book, to the point that you feel part of the story.
I received a copy of this book in audio format from the narrator in exchange for an honest review.
Brett’s father is one of the most powerful wizards in the word, but Brett is just not interested in magic. He likes the easy life that comes with family money, and his expectations in life are none beyond playing with his band. One day Brett receives a mysterious package that will get him of of his comfort zone and in great danger. He will either have to change his ways or die.
As a fan of Jonathan Shade’s adventures, I was looking forward to this book. Among all the epic fantasy books, finding gems like this urban fantasy book is simply refreshing. It is not that I don’t like epic fantasy, I love it, but sometimes characters and situations we can easily relate too are welcome. Gary Jonas writes very vivid and down to earth characters and great dialogs. His books have that fresh humor so difficult to find in fantasy books, and this is what makes them amazing and original.
Brett is not an especially likable character, and that means that he will have to undergo an evolution, apart from using his cheecky techniques, to be able to save his bacon. This will make Brett an interesting character.
The ending is somehow predictable, but I still enjoyed the ride. I was a funny and light listen, ideal for a lazy day. I wish the next book was already available.
I really enjoyed Joe Hempel’s narration. He has wonderful character interpretation skills, inflicting the right amount of emotion, irony, and sarcasm. Hempel has a decent voice range and knows how to use in a subtle way, something important when narrating audiobooks. The best part is that he makes you forget that you are listening to a book, to the point that you feel part of the story.
I received a copy of this book in audio format from the narrator in exchange for an honest review.
June 22, 2017
It's in the Cards
Brett is a party hardy musician. He is from a line of powerful wizards,however magic is just too much work. The only magic he cares about is his magic pick which allows him to play extraordinary lead guitar in the band. His father tests him one last time with stolen ancient tarot cards, but he obviously fails since magic is just too much trouble. He is kicked out of his father's house that he lives in and has his funds cut off. Reality strikes as a life or death test arises with a jealous wizard, cannibalistic shark men, and others wanting to kill him, his family and friends for the cards. Motivation by not wanting to die and discovering that his family and friends can't help and will die as well, he reluctantly uses powerful but uncontrolled magic to dampen their enthusiasm for killing them. Fortunately for Brett, his father reinstates his housing and stipend. Unfortunately for Brett, he must actually work for it by learning control of his magic. I very much enjoyed this book with Brett's BS degree in smartass and the other humor of the book. I like the story with the interesting plot filled with action. I look forward to getting into the next book.
Brett is a party hardy musician. He is from a line of powerful wizards,however magic is just too much work. The only magic he cares about is his magic pick which allows him to play extraordinary lead guitar in the band. His father tests him one last time with stolen ancient tarot cards, but he obviously fails since magic is just too much trouble. He is kicked out of his father's house that he lives in and has his funds cut off. Reality strikes as a life or death test arises with a jealous wizard, cannibalistic shark men, and others wanting to kill him, his family and friends for the cards. Motivation by not wanting to die and discovering that his family and friends can't help and will die as well, he reluctantly uses powerful but uncontrolled magic to dampen their enthusiasm for killing them. Fortunately for Brett, his father reinstates his housing and stipend. Unfortunately for Brett, he must actually work for it by learning control of his magic. I very much enjoyed this book with Brett's BS degree in smartass and the other humor of the book. I like the story with the interesting plot filled with action. I look forward to getting into the next book.
September 29, 2017
Describing this book in six words or less: Slacker Trust-Fund Wizard Avoids Responsibilities.
More extended version is that a wizard who has absolutely no motivation to get off the teat opens mail containing ancient tarot cards. Turns out a host of other people want those same cards as well. That's as far as I'll get into it because to say more would be to post spoilers and I'm not about that life. Throughout the novel, he acts the part of someone who doesn't take life seriously and is content to live off of his parents wealth.
Well that's true for most of the book and I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The Half-Ass Wizard is quick to get through, and I think that is part of the appeal. There isn't a lot of room for fillers and all the extra things that are common in full-sized novels. In the end everything had a purpose. The dialog of the main character can get a bit annoying at times, but annoying in a good way. The responsible adult in me wanted to just shake the guy, but the novel wouldn't be half as fun if he were a driven businessman.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this book and wouldn't mind continuing the series. This book was given to me for free at my requests and I provided this voluntary review.
More extended version is that a wizard who has absolutely no motivation to get off the teat opens mail containing ancient tarot cards. Turns out a host of other people want those same cards as well. That's as far as I'll get into it because to say more would be to post spoilers and I'm not about that life. Throughout the novel, he acts the part of someone who doesn't take life seriously and is content to live off of his parents wealth.
Well that's true for most of the book and I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The Half-Ass Wizard is quick to get through, and I think that is part of the appeal. There isn't a lot of room for fillers and all the extra things that are common in full-sized novels. In the end everything had a purpose. The dialog of the main character can get a bit annoying at times, but annoying in a good way. The responsible adult in me wanted to just shake the guy, but the novel wouldn't be half as fun if he were a driven businessman.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this book and wouldn't mind continuing the series. This book was given to me for free at my requests and I provided this voluntary review.
December 16, 2017
The lead character Brett, is somewhat of a slacker, the third child of a powerful wizarding family and is fond of requesting explanations to anything to be in six words or less, so here's the six word version of my review:
Fun book, good narration, enjoyable starting-point.
While I enjoyed this book from the start and indeed went through it very quickly as it is not overly long either, I did think that the author may have laid it on a bit thick about just how lazy the main character was when that would obviously be changing by the end of the book.
However, this minor issue did not detract from my overall enjoyment of the book and I will be looking out for subsequent books in the series.
I had previously listened to a book with this narrator and like that one I found his performance to nicely enhance my opinion of the book, so another good job from him.
I would recommend this book to fans of urban fantasy, particularly those who prefer their protagonist to have a bit of snark to them.
[Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]
Fun book, good narration, enjoyable starting-point.
While I enjoyed this book from the start and indeed went through it very quickly as it is not overly long either, I did think that the author may have laid it on a bit thick about just how lazy the main character was when that would obviously be changing by the end of the book.
However, this minor issue did not detract from my overall enjoyment of the book and I will be looking out for subsequent books in the series.
I had previously listened to a book with this narrator and like that one I found his performance to nicely enhance my opinion of the book, so another good job from him.
I would recommend this book to fans of urban fantasy, particularly those who prefer their protagonist to have a bit of snark to them.
[Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]
October 25, 2017
This is a review of the audio version of this book:
This story is very entertaining, and I can't wait for more. Brett is the third son of a powerful wizard. As such, he should also be very powerful. However, Brett is too lazy to put forth the effort. Magic is work, and this slacker isn't interested in work. When a package is delivered and bad guys come looking for it, Brett's life becomes more complicated than he likes.
I really enjoyed getting to know Brett and the rest of the cast of characters. I can see how he could drive people crazy, and I laughed out loud at times. I also found his reasons understandable, once they were revealed. I'm so glad that there will be more stories about these people! I found both the writing and the performance to be terrific. This was a great pairing of an author with a great sense of humor and originality, and a narrator with the skills to bring the story to life. I felt like Brett was speaking to me.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
This story is very entertaining, and I can't wait for more. Brett is the third son of a powerful wizard. As such, he should also be very powerful. However, Brett is too lazy to put forth the effort. Magic is work, and this slacker isn't interested in work. When a package is delivered and bad guys come looking for it, Brett's life becomes more complicated than he likes.
I really enjoyed getting to know Brett and the rest of the cast of characters. I can see how he could drive people crazy, and I laughed out loud at times. I also found his reasons understandable, once they were revealed. I'm so glad that there will be more stories about these people! I found both the writing and the performance to be terrific. This was a great pairing of an author with a great sense of humor and originality, and a narrator with the skills to bring the story to life. I felt like Brett was speaking to me.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
September 7, 2018
Non stop laughter.
Audio and written versions.
I couldn't stop laughing. A great beginning for a series. I can't wait for more of this series, I want to say more about this story but I absolutely hate spoilers, so I won't do it to you by going into details.
The narrator brings the story to life.
Reasons I enjoyed this audio book:
Wonderful characters, Page-turner, Great world building, Unpredictable, Original, Easy-to-read/listen, Entertaining, Action-packed, Twisted, Funny, Whimsical.
Bookshelves/tags:
alternatively-reality, fantasy, humorous, magic, nonhuman, series, shifters, suspense, vampire, witch, wizards.
This Audio book was given to me at my request from the publisher, author or narrator and I provided this unbiased voluntary review.
Audio and written versions.
I couldn't stop laughing. A great beginning for a series. I can't wait for more of this series, I want to say more about this story but I absolutely hate spoilers, so I won't do it to you by going into details.
The narrator brings the story to life.
Reasons I enjoyed this audio book:
Wonderful characters, Page-turner, Great world building, Unpredictable, Original, Easy-to-read/listen, Entertaining, Action-packed, Twisted, Funny, Whimsical.
Bookshelves/tags:
alternatively-reality, fantasy, humorous, magic, nonhuman, series, shifters, suspense, vampire, witch, wizards.
This Audio book was given to me at my request from the publisher, author or narrator and I provided this unbiased voluntary review.
September 23, 2017
(Disclaimer) I received this book for free. Despite that, I'll give it an honest review...
What an absolutely fun book!
This story is about a Wizard who thinks magic is just too much work! He's a guy who just wants to get by with - to borrow a phrase - Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll... that's all he wants, but his family has other ideas...
So, for some real laugh out loud fun, start this great series today...
I listened to the audio version and I loved Joe Hempel's narration. It's hard to imagine anyone doing a better job reading Half-Assed Wizard!
What an absolutely fun book!
This story is about a Wizard who thinks magic is just too much work! He's a guy who just wants to get by with - to borrow a phrase - Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll... that's all he wants, but his family has other ideas...
So, for some real laugh out loud fun, start this great series today...
I listened to the audio version and I loved Joe Hempel's narration. It's hard to imagine anyone doing a better job reading Half-Assed Wizard!
September 25, 2017
I received this audiobook free for an honest review. This was an interesting story. I seemed to have a few places that drug along, however, the exciting part was at the end. The title was quite accurate "Half-Asses Wizard". I kept waiting for something to happen, but I had to wait until the end. There was a surprise twist that I really wasn't expecting. The narrator did a great job with the characters, especially Brett. It was very easy to believe that he is a big kid with a "who cares" attitude. I wanted to just smack him a few times. Enjoyed this light-hearted book.
October 7, 2017
Well not all of it is lol funny, but overall...
This is a great first book, plenty of action, lots of world building, and a good intro to the characters. It caught my attention and left me wanting to know what happens next.
As funny as this is it's also a bit sad, some of the relationships leave a lot to be desired. Although that tension made the story more interesting.
Well worth a listen, the narration was well done with good character voices and an enjoyable delivery.
I received a free copy of this book from the author and/or narrator and/or publisher in exchange for an honest review.
This is a great first book, plenty of action, lots of world building, and a good intro to the characters. It caught my attention and left me wanting to know what happens next.
As funny as this is it's also a bit sad, some of the relationships leave a lot to be desired. Although that tension made the story more interesting.
Well worth a listen, the narration was well done with good character voices and an enjoyable delivery.
I received a free copy of this book from the author and/or narrator and/or publisher in exchange for an honest review.
November 22, 2017
A fun book.Brett could be a powerful wizard,but he is too lazy.His dad has actually paid him to steer clear of family functions he seems to hate him so much for his choices.After dad ends his free loading days,Brett finds out how he has been manipulated by everyone.With the stolen Tarot cards still in his possesion,will he make a good or bad decision.Family will kill you.Joe Hempel was the perfect narrator.“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”
July 11, 2018
I got to the end of the book, so that was a start. I really didn't like this character, Half-Assed Wizard is right on the nose. Brett is a lazy wizard who doesn't like getting up early and doing anything that requires effort. I thought he might grow on me, but alas not this time.
If you can tolerate or enjoy this character you might enjoy this book way more than myself. Two stars from me, but read the other reviews, there are some good ones. And if you get it as free bee there is nothing to lose.
If you can tolerate or enjoy this character you might enjoy this book way more than myself. Two stars from me, but read the other reviews, there are some good ones. And if you get it as free bee there is nothing to lose.
January 13, 2020
"In 6 words or less."
Our hero of this audiobook is Brett Masters, a spoiled half-assed wizard who is a musician and who sponges of his wealthy parents. His attention span is limited by his lack of concentration and I do not give a damn attitude.
The author includes an array of devious bad guys with Bretts family and friends and you have a rocking good time as the listener. Lots of musical references, friendship and mystery keep this book interesting and a pleasure to listen to.
Excellent narration by Joe Hempel and can not wait for the next book in this series.
Our hero of this audiobook is Brett Masters, a spoiled half-assed wizard who is a musician and who sponges of his wealthy parents. His attention span is limited by his lack of concentration and I do not give a damn attitude.
The author includes an array of devious bad guys with Bretts family and friends and you have a rocking good time as the listener. Lots of musical references, friendship and mystery keep this book interesting and a pleasure to listen to.
Excellent narration by Joe Hempel and can not wait for the next book in this series.
June 27, 2017
You Gotta Love a Committed Slacker
What do you do when your from a blue blood wizard family, but you don't want to put in the work, you become a beach bum of course. Great story about the black sheep of a powerful family. He is lazy, a bit of a stoner, pretty much has mooches his way through life, and then life bites him in the a**. Funny, dramatic, off-beat, and a great read. Looking forward to the next installment.
What do you do when your from a blue blood wizard family, but you don't want to put in the work, you become a beach bum of course. Great story about the black sheep of a powerful family. He is lazy, a bit of a stoner, pretty much has mooches his way through life, and then life bites him in the a**. Funny, dramatic, off-beat, and a great read. Looking forward to the next installment.
September 24, 2017
Magical Cards...
The book centered around the male lead, Brett, who is only interested in drugs and the "ladies"until one day he touches a deck of magical cards.
I liked the dialogue, it was sarcastic and funny.
Overall, an entertaining book that featured magic from different angles.
Joe Hempel did a great job with the narration.
Note:
"This audio book was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review."
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