This is a short book that definitely has some inspiring words in it, although in this time in history, some of the stuff he recommends doing really can’t be done until the whole world isn’t quarantined (like starting a new job or relationship when we’re not supposed to leave our homes would be tricky). I read this to help do the best I can today and what can I do when the world returns to something like normal.
He talks a lot about our self talk and how we can talk ourselves out of taking actions because we’ve decided whatever the goal is, we’re too stupid or the goal is too unrealistically hard. Positive self-talk can dramatically improve mood, boost confidence, and increase positivity. “The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.” Even things like doing laundry or vacuuming can seem overwhelming.
If you view success as something that’s just around the corner, you’ll work you butt off to achieve your goal and will be energized and alive. Look at stumbles not as “This is a misfortune, but “to bear this worthily is good fortune.”
The main point is not just about getting yourself in the right frame of mind, it’s about taking actions every day to meet your goals and not coming up with excuses like you didn’t sleep well the night before. He’s very big on not talking about what we’re going to . . . later. You have to start to talk like “I accept,” “I embrace,” “I assert.” There’s a big difference between “I am relentless” and “I’m going to be relentless.”
“Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people. Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances.”
“If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation—in other words, if you’re will to put up with your situation—then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen. You have to ask yourself: Am I willing?”
• Am I willing to go to the gym? (During quarantine: Am I willing to sweat to the Insanity workout DVDs I already own once I dust them off?)
• Am I willing to work on that project I’ve been putting off?
• Am I willing to ask for a raise or quit this shitty job?
We want changes right away, but we have to think realistically. If you want to get in better shape, is working out for half an hour a day really impossible?
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Teddy Roosevelt.
Other points: Embrace uncertainty—it’s the only way to change—by not being comfortable all the time. You will get judged—for the novel you write or the business you start. You’ll go on dates to meet someone special and sometimes he’ll be boring or sometimes he won’t find you charming and attractive, but you took action to find romance and maybe you learned a thing or two.
“When you stop searching for certainty, when you quit trying to make sense of everything, a lot of your stress will simply melt away.”
“You are not defined by what’s inside your head. You are what you do. Your actions.”
“You don’t have to feel like today is your day; you just have to act like it is.”
You change your life by doing, not thinking about doing.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie.
It’s not about psyching yourself up. Don’t wait for the mood to strike. Just do it. Your mind will remind you of all the other things you could be doing and bring out your doubts, but by taking action, you’ll shut down those other thoughts and start feeling empowered to change.
“We would accomplish more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi
The other cause for disappointment and giving up is our expectations. Expect the unexpected. The unhappiness lies in the gap between hidden expectations and reality. In marriages, the biggest cause of discord is unmet expectations. Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat.
If you can’t stop watching TV long enough to get you life together, you obviously don’t want to change. Figure out what you’re willing to live with and what you’re not willing to live with. Are you willing to always buy larger size clothes and get winded walking up two flights of stairs or are you unwilling, and therefore willing to work out and eat a more healthy diet.