Empty Your Cup: Why We Have Low Self-Esteem and How Mindfulness Can Help

by Yong Kang Chan

Have you ever wondered why you still feel inferior to others even after being better?

Perhaps you have read many self-help books about positive thinking. Or you have improved your confidence, looks, career, income, and relationships.

On the surface, you should be happy.

But yet, deep down inside, nothing has changed. There is still a lingering sense of unworthiness and not good enough.

Why is this so?

For years, I had low self-esteem and I struggled to love myself. Like you, I had read many books and taken various courses. They helped me to change my beliefs about myself and I felt somewhat better.

However, it wasn’t until I had a clear distinction between my analytical mind and my consciousness that I truly accepted who I am.

Download — Empty Your Why We Have Low Self-Esteem and How Mindfulness Can Help

Changing your self-perception helps you to boost your self-esteem. But where you perceive yourself is more important. Are you looking from the perspective of your critical, egoic mind or your loving, spiritual self?

Using the cup as an analogy for our mind, the purpose of this book is to help you empty everything you believe about yourself and reconnect with your true self.

You’ll

The causes and impacts of low self-esteemHow beliefs are formed6 reasons why changing negative beliefs into positive beliefs is not entirely effectiveWhat mindfulness is and what does mindfulness feel likeThe differences between the spirit and the mindWhat spiritual awakening feels like and ways to stay awakeHow mindfulness can help you love yourselfEmpty Your Cup is a simple book that isn’t technical at all. You don’t need any prior psychology or spirituality knowledge to understand the teachings in this book.

So are you ready to restart your self-love journey and learn to love yourself again?

Scroll to the top of the page and get a copy of Empty Your Cup now!

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Personal Development

140 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 27, 2017

About the author

"Being Peaceful when the Mind is Noisy"

Doing more and achieving more don’t always make you happy. When you have low self-esteem and a critical voice in your head, it’s tough to enjoy your life in peace. Reaching your goals is important, but you have to enjoy the process too.

In his books, Yong Kang provides insights on self-compassion and mindfulness to help you be kinder to yourself and transcend your suffering. Unlike other psychology and spiritual books, his content is easy to understand. He uses simple, modern examples in life to explain complex concepts and ideas. You can learn the teachings in his books without any technical or scientific knowledge.

Best known as “Nerdy Creator” online, Yong Kang is both analytical and creative. If someone like him can overcome depression and his noisy mind, you can do it too.

Learn how you can live a peaceful life by checking out his books below.

Connect with him via these social media platforms:

Website: http://www.nerdycreator.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NerdyCreator
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nerdycreator/

Reviews

[Sherrie Tullsen-chin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the cup metaphor...

and the idea that we can keep emptying it as many times as it takes to keep reminding ourselves we are truly spiritual beings, not the contents of our cups.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is simply written and quite brief, but having read numerous other books in the personal development genre, it makes most of them seem needlessly full of waffle. This book cuts straight to the heart of what causes much of our suffering, which is our relationship with our mind. As someone with a very active mind, this book is a godsend. For me, it made all other self help books feel redundant as it seemed tailor made to me and what I have been going through (battling my mind).

[Alsayed.28 · Rating 4 out of 5]

الكتاب رقم ( ١٢٥ )
عام ٢٠٢٥
الكتاب : أفرغ كوبك
المؤلف : يونغ كانغ شان
التصنيف : لا روائي
.
.
📕هذا الكتاب يأخذ بيدك نحو التحرر من كل ما تظنه حقيقة عن ذاتك، ليعيد وصلك بجوهر روحك الأصيلة. فهو يتيح لك التمييز بين الصورة الذهنية التي كوّنها عقلك عن نفسك، والتي يُشار إليها غالبًا باسم “الأنا”، وبين حقيقتك الروحية العميقة. ومع هذا الإدراك، يأمل الكتاب أن تواصل تدريب عقلك الباطن على البقاء متصلًا بالمحبة النقية التي تُشكّل كيانك الحقيقي .
.
.
لماذا لا أحب نفسي ؟
.
.
✋ ابدأ الرحلة و راقب طفلًا يلعب بحرية، بلا قيود ولا مخاوف، واسمح لعقلك أن يهدأ من ضجيج الحياة. تأمل كيف تنعكس ثقتك بنفسك على مرآة طفولتك؛ تلك الأيام التي كانت أحلامك فيها نقية وبسيطة.

أغمض عينيك، وامنح نفسك لحظة لتحديث نظام معتقداتك. انظر إلى ذاتك بوضوح، وتأمل مشاعرك تجاه نفسك الآن. استرجع لحظات الثناء التي تلقيتها من الآخرين، وتعلّم أن تتقبّلها بامتنان، دون شك أو تردد.

كن واعيًا بصراعاتك الداخلية، تلك الأصوات المتضاربة التي تُحدث ضجيجًا في أعماقك. وإن وجدت نفسك تائهًا، غير مدرك من تكون، فلا تخف. بل اعتبر ذلك بوابةً لليقظة، لحظةً لإعادة اكتشاف ذاتك.

ولكن ماذا بعد أن نستيقظ؟
نستيقظ لنعيش بوعي، متصالحين مع ماضينا، متحررين من أوهامنا، ماضين بثقة نحو حقيقة من نكون !!

🚫 توقفت طويلًا عند تلك الكلمات :
_ لا يمكنك العثور على الحب داخل عقلك، هذا ليس مكانًا للحب .

_ العقل مرتبط بالاحتفاظ بالأشياء من أجل البقاء على قيد الحياة والفراغ هو مكان مخيف للعقل الذي يفقد قوته عندما يفرغ.

_ لا يوجد لديك خيار بخصوص ما يتم سكبه في كأسك، ولكن لديك خيارفيما تقبله وتؤمن به.

_ لم يعد الكوب مجرد كوب، نحن ندرك أن الكوب ومحتواه هو نحن صورتنا الذاتية، لا يوجد فصل بين من نحن والصورة العقلية للذات التي خلقتها عقولنا .

_ نحن نرفض السماح للأشخاص الذين لديهم معتقدات مخالفة لمعتقداتنا بالقرب من كأسنا، نسمح فقط لأولئك الذين يتردد صدى معتقداتهم معنا بصب محتواهم في كأسنا، لا نسمح لأحد أن يفسد الشراب الذي خلقته عقولنا لنا.

_ نحن لا نحب أنفسنا! نحن فقط نحب الصورة التي أنشأتها أذهاننا لنا.

✋ قد يتبادر إلى ذهنك سؤال بعد قراءة الكتاب:
هل ستخوض تجربة “إفراغ كوبك” بنفسك؟
.
.
📕 كتاب “أفرغ كوبك” هو أحد كتب تطوير الذات المتميزة، يجمع بين الواقعية والمنطق، ويقدم فكرة بسيطة وفعالة. ما يميزه هو سهولة تطبيق مفهومه وتجربته، مما يتيح للقارئ تحقيق نتائج جميلة وملموسة في حياته !!

[Anna Švarcová · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the idea with the director, actor and spectator. The fact that we as our consciousness are purely the spectator is freeing and makes me at peace. Also reminds me of the stranger by Albert Camus, since from my point of view he was truly only the spectator.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read for understanding on a less theological level about self esteem and how your self concept is created. I enjoyed the cup analogy and the information about identities. The loss of an identity and the work of the inner critic really resonated with me. My cup may never be empty, but to at least acknowledge the battle within my cup, I know is a success in it self. I look forward to controlling what I let into my cup. I'll certainly be doing further reading on the area.

[Sarah Gomaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title captured my attention at the bookstore as I am struggling with self love and worthiness..I took it immediately and I was so keen to read it, I am quite satisfied of the time vs value that I got, however, it's quite similar to many other books except it's much briefer.

[شيماء محمد مصطفي · Rating 1 out of 5]

محبتش الكتاب ومليت منه
وأسلوب الترجمة مش مشجع للقراءة
دا بغض النظر عن تكرار نفس الأفكار في نفس الكتب بذات الفئة

[Puteh Melati · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever feel that you are not good enough?
Have you ever feel so anxious and inferior?
Have you ever feel awkward when people praised you?
Have you ever feel that you don't deserve anything?
Have you ever overthink about how people think and feel towards you?
Have you ever feel that you're useless?
Have you ever feel that you're a failure?

I did feel the same before.
I punished myself too much in everything that goes wrong.
I take the blame for all the wrong things that happened.
My mind keeps telling those are all my fault.
I did not even think that I deserve to be happy.

Have a good grade,
Doing great in my study,
Doing great in society,
Try to master many skill,
Still..
I don't feel anything changed.

Low self-esteem.
It's so much more than just confidence, trust and belief.
If you have experienced what I had experienced, surely you'll understand how hard it is.
It even had led me to have suicidal thoughts.

But, I keep telling myself,
"Don't die yet. Things will get better."
I don't tell anyone about it
except my three best friends.

But day by day,
I learn and learn and learn
I read and read and read
more self-help books to help myself recover.

And among those books.
This is one of the best that change my mindset towards my own self.

It's a good analogy,
cup as our mind..
This book is very practical. The author explains step by step to help us escape from the prison of our own mind.

And now, I understand..
why did I felt that way before?
why nothing changed even though I've improved myself in many things?
why I never feel good about myself?

I have the answer now, alhamdulillah.
and I finally know what I have to do with my mind, my soul, my self and my life.

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Even though low self-esteem is a perception problem, it’s not about changing our perception of ourselves. It’s about changing the place from which we perceive ourselves."

"shifting the place of perception from the mind to the spirit."


This book argues that the ultimate and lasting cure for low self-esteem isn't simply –like many other slef-help books suggest– to replace unhelpful beliefs with positive ones. That approach still operates within the same framework, where you're seeking a cure from the very source of the problem "the mind".

The true healing comes from stepping back just enough to see the simple truth: You are not your mind. It means becoming aware of your mind and its content, recognizing that you have the power to choose how to engage with your thoughts and beliefs. You can either become entangled in them—or simply observe them with clarity and presence.

[Lyla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loves the idea of seeing ourself as 3 different roles: The audience, the director, & the actor. Our mind and our spirit are two separate things. That we're master of our mind, not other way around.

"if we don't give attention to the identity created by the mind, it doesn't have any power of effect on us. If we're not interested in what the mind has to say, we can always choose not to listen to it. we can just observe and empty or thoughts as they come"

"The identities and subpersonalities created by my subconscious mind are not the real me, they're from my past conditioning and mental preferences. The real me simply observe the beauty of nature"

[Mousellina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read plenty of books about mindfulness, this one is definitely good as it still gave me a few “a-ha” moments however I can’t give it full marks because first half of the book was very difficult to read as it kept triggering my childhood trauma (I have C-PTSD). Thing is, if you have a deregulated nervous system, mindfulness is not going to be enough. You can ignore your mind but you can’t ignore the bodily processes. I think author took too much liberty talking about childhood abuse without understanding how these things are handled. The have been plenty of cases where attempts at mindfulness has landed people in ER.

[Sumaiya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Abandonment for me is a huge topic. Abandonment can be anything from your parents leaving you or me also experiencing abandonment when your family structure also changes. So maybe dad will leave or mom will leave or there's a separation temporary, but just that change in what you're familiar with can be experienced as abandonment because your sense of belonging and your identity shifts a little bit. More information: https://youtu.be/4c4RZ1BZ9Lc

[Sheryl Warren · Rating 3 out of 5]

It wasn't my favorite book, based on organization or cohesiveness, but it DID succeed in getting me to realize I keep my "cup" too full. It generated a desire to look more deeply into meditation and for that I am grateful.

[Anne Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating book about our minds

I have read a lot of this author's work. He uses the analogy of a cup to illustrate the importance of learning to be present and to learn to dissociate from our sub personalities.

[طاهرة الحمادي · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really found it interesting and want to read it again. It. It showed how our thoughts affected with the circumstances, and steps to get rid of some negative thoughts and be more connected with our spiritual self.

[Russ]

Chan does a great job using analogies to demonstrate our existence into separate components and how we can think differently about their relationship and our perception of them. A very quick read and valuable content for those who struggle with self esteem.

[Louise Driscoll · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good and made lots of interesting points, but I didn’t find it as life changing as I think it’s intended to be. Admittedly I didn’t do the exercises, so I might feel differently once I go through and do them again.

[Tomáš Zahradník · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nějakým způsobem jsem se nedokázal vcítit do autora a nebyla mi knížka přínosem, jak jsem očekával. Bylo to takové, makové... Vím, že se nejedná o super argument, ale informace byly jako špatně poskládané puzzle 🤷🏻‍♂️

[HJ Vandenburg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book !

I really enjoyed this clear and honest view of the process of gaining inner peace and the different ways we become aware of who we really are. I enjoyed the cup metaphor and look forward to reading more of this authors books.

[Lina Torky · Rating 4 out of 5]

"At first, I didn’t really feel the potential of the book. A few years ago, I would’ve given it 3 stars. But as I’ve grown and worked in the academic field, a line from this book keeps hitting me every once in a while, and the title itself (Empty your cup) Has never been clearer in my life.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read and lessons we could all learn from.

[Asim Kirmani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Book with valuable insights

I have been Practicing emptying your cup on weekly basis but I understand the philosophy in details after reading this book.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Motivating read

An inspiring read. Got me thinking about mindfulness and how to fill my cup with positive things. Now I need to put it into practice.

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It made me think of my past, childhood and who surround myself with to the kind of person I’ve become today. Useful tip and guide to know yourself better and love yourself.

[Gualdino Tavares · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant little book

A very interesting and easy to read book about how your mind works and plays you up.... the analogy whith the cup is brilliant.

[Matthew Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thought provoking read

As a starting point for anyone wanting to break free from the shackles of their own self doubt, this book is a must. Introduced some interesting concepts.

[Deontrai Cody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

This is a great read. It’s probably one of the more simple books dealing with mindfulness that I’ve read. It’s very easy to understand.

[لطفي أيمن الدسوقي · Rating 3 out of 5]

الكتاب جميل جدًا، ولكن الشيء السيء به هو الترجمة
الترجمة في بداية الأمر ونهايته هي من تجعل من العمل السيء رائعًا ومن الرائع سيئًا.

[Claudette · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Audiobook) A short good book on how to build self-esteem.

[Moh'D Al Salam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mindfulness is not only a gift, it is also a choice 🙏