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What Does Consent Really Mean?
"Consent is not the absence of 'NO', it is an enthusiastic YES!!"
While seemingly straightforward, Tia and Bryony hadn't considered this subject too seriously until it comes up in conversation with their friends and they realise just how important it is.
Following the sexual assault of a classmate, a group of teenage girls find themselves discussing the term consent, what it actually means for them in their current relationships, and how they act and make decisions with peer influence. Joined by their male friends who offer another perspective, this rich graphic novel uncovers the need for more informed conversations with young people around consent and healthy relationships. Accompanying the graphics are sexual health resources for students and teachers, which make this a perfect tool for broaching the subject with teens.
While seemingly straightforward, Tia and Bryony hadn't considered this subject too seriously until it comes up in conversation with their friends and they realise just how important it is.
Following the sexual assault of a classmate, a group of teenage girls find themselves discussing the term consent, what it actually means for them in their current relationships, and how they act and make decisions with peer influence. Joined by their male friends who offer another perspective, this rich graphic novel uncovers the need for more informed conversations with young people around consent and healthy relationships. Accompanying the graphics are sexual health resources for students and teachers, which make this a perfect tool for broaching the subject with teens.
64 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 21, 2017
3 people are currently reading
273 people want to read
About the author
Pete Wallis
12 books1 followerPete Wallis is Senior Practitioner (Restorative Justice) for Oxfordshire Youth Offending Service UK and a founding member of the charity SAFE! Support for young people affected by crime.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 215 reviews
January 1, 2018
"What does consent really mean?" is so relevant and important. The question of consent is brought up between young friends in this book. The only problem is that the conversation felt very unnatural to me and if it sounds unnatural to me, I think it could sound unnatural to the target audience of younger kids and teens. The whole time I was reading this, I tried to imagine what younger me would have thought about it. Sure, it would have been a whole lot better than what I was actually told about consent ("if someone is touching you somewhere you don't want to be touched, say no"... well unfortunately its a lot more complex than that!) but I feel like maybe I wouldn't have really listened to it because it sounded quite preachy and cheesy. I can't fully describe it properly but it just felt like a really bad television soap or something in the way that it was received on my end.
I think that if it was edited better, it could have been so much better. They had the basics to a really good graphic novel but the final product fell flat for me. I am giving it 3 stars because I think that its an important topic and maybe it will be received better by younger kids and teens. If it helps even one person, then I think that is great. I did like how it wasn't just a bunch of white kids in the comic, there was a bit of diversity and that was a plus for me.
Consent definitely needs to be taught to young kids but it needs to be better than this, I think. I'm not sure if there are better books/comics than this but I haven't really heard of anything else. I hope there are better things out there but again, I'm not sure if there are. If you're looking for something to give to your child, this could be a good starting point. It might initiate a conversation or get them interested to hear more about consent so I guess I would recommend it.
The format of the graphic novel was quite hard for me to read because it wasn't a finished product but that didn't affect my rating.
* I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I think that if it was edited better, it could have been so much better. They had the basics to a really good graphic novel but the final product fell flat for me. I am giving it 3 stars because I think that its an important topic and maybe it will be received better by younger kids and teens. If it helps even one person, then I think that is great. I did like how it wasn't just a bunch of white kids in the comic, there was a bit of diversity and that was a plus for me.
Consent definitely needs to be taught to young kids but it needs to be better than this, I think. I'm not sure if there are better books/comics than this but I haven't really heard of anything else. I hope there are better things out there but again, I'm not sure if there are. If you're looking for something to give to your child, this could be a good starting point. It might initiate a conversation or get them interested to hear more about consent so I guess I would recommend it.
The format of the graphic novel was quite hard for me to read because it wasn't a finished product but that didn't affect my rating.
* I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
July 21, 2017
I definitely liked the message behind this graphic novel : consent isn't not saying no, it's saying an explicit yes.
In this graphic novel, a girl just got rapped which leads people to talk about what consent really means.
You can definitely see how society shapes young people : some say this girl is a slut, that she got what she deserved, that she lead on the guy who rapped her . . . let's get something straight : it's never the fault of the person who's been rapped. NEVER.
In a relationship, consent is probably what matters the most : you can't force someone to do something they don't feel like doing. And if they first said yes and then changed their mind, you have to accept it, it's their right. Their body doesn't belong to you.
Consent goes both ways, just because you want to do something doesn't mean the other person is up to it as well. It's important to talk, to know what's okay to do and what isn't. Communication is the key.
And being rapped . . . being rapped is never okay, no matter how you try to make it sounds, rapping someone is violating their body and dismissing the right they have over their body.
It's a graphic novel I'd like every teenager to read.
3.75
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
In this graphic novel, a girl just got rapped which leads people to talk about what consent really means.
You can definitely see how society shapes young people : some say this girl is a slut, that she got what she deserved, that she lead on the guy who rapped her . . . let's get something straight : it's never the fault of the person who's been rapped. NEVER.
In a relationship, consent is probably what matters the most : you can't force someone to do something they don't feel like doing. And if they first said yes and then changed their mind, you have to accept it, it's their right. Their body doesn't belong to you.
Consent goes both ways, just because you want to do something doesn't mean the other person is up to it as well. It's important to talk, to know what's okay to do and what isn't. Communication is the key.
And being rapped . . . being rapped is never okay, no matter how you try to make it sounds, rapping someone is violating their body and dismissing the right they have over their body.
It's a graphic novel I'd like every teenager to read.
3.75
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
March 26, 2019
I love, love, love that this book exists. Having both a son and a daughter, I think actively and often about how and when to broach the myriad of topics that connect to sexuality for the adolescents living in today’s world: self-respect, insecurities, informed choices, snap decisions, puberty, hormones, gender, sexual identity, desire, arousal, like, love, consent, rape, alcohol, abstinence, pregnancy, birth control, as well as social media, cellphone cameras, privacy, gossip, rumors, pornography, texting, etc...bet you wish you were me, huh? It is a complicated road made even more so by American attitudes about sex as something not to be discussed. To that I say, this avoidance is not helping our youth, nor is it stopping them from having sex. I’d go a step further and say that it puts them in danger. Communication is key and knowledge is power.
I’m rambling. I’m nauseated at times thinking about the minefield that awaits my babies as they grow up in this Internet-obsessed world. This was crazy hard to navigate when I was a teen but the added layer of sharing literally everything online changes the game. Consent is rarely discussed and so, so important a concept to be taught, explained, accepted, and embraced.
This graphic novel is desperately needed, and as evidenced above, an entire series could be written on all the pieces that make up emerging sexuality. A good starting point, I felt the language could’ve been clearer and the examples better. It just touched on things that needed much more clarity and it didn’t sound like authentic teen voices, but rather an educational video one might be shown in school. Also, the pushy jerk of a boyfriend had a complete turnaround, whereas I thought she should’ve kicked him to the curb for pressuring her and bragging about their intimate encounters. Nonetheless, graphic novels tend to lend an accessibility factor that is a plus for this challenging topic, and that alone may attract readers reluctant to broach this topic.
3.5 stars
I’m rambling. I’m nauseated at times thinking about the minefield that awaits my babies as they grow up in this Internet-obsessed world. This was crazy hard to navigate when I was a teen but the added layer of sharing literally everything online changes the game. Consent is rarely discussed and so, so important a concept to be taught, explained, accepted, and embraced.
This graphic novel is desperately needed, and as evidenced above, an entire series could be written on all the pieces that make up emerging sexuality. A good starting point, I felt the language could’ve been clearer and the examples better. It just touched on things that needed much more clarity and it didn’t sound like authentic teen voices, but rather an educational video one might be shown in school. Also, the pushy jerk of a boyfriend had a complete turnaround, whereas I thought she should’ve kicked him to the curb for pressuring her and bragging about their intimate encounters. Nonetheless, graphic novels tend to lend an accessibility factor that is a plus for this challenging topic, and that alone may attract readers reluctant to broach this topic.
3.5 stars
November 21, 2017
This is a great, basic, easily understood, and engaging introduction to consent that would be suitable for teenagers and even pre-teens presented as a graphic novel. Does teaching pre-teens about consent scare you? It shouldn't. People should learn about the importance of consent before they're sexually active.
"Consent is not the absence of 'no', it is an enthusiastic YES!"
This little book touches not only on judgement of victims and victim blaming, but how consent works not only between two people who haven't had sex before, but two people who have previously had sex. Consent is always important, whether it's your first experience with the other person or not. It's a very quick read that would be great for waning attention spans, and I think it should be in school libraries and used in the classroom. It mostly features conversations between friends, but also includes some resources for additional information in the back of the book. My personal favorite is for the "Tea Consent" video which can be easily found on YouTube. A clean version without swearing is also available, plus one intended for kids which mostly uses hugging or hand holding to explain to young viewers.
There's some UK lingo that might be difficult for some to understand, but not too much. Other than that, it's very inclusive, which earned it some bonus points from me.
This book is mostly about the importance of communication and driving home the fact that you are in charge of your own body. My little feminist heart loved it. Put it in schools. Please.
I received an ARC of this book from Net Galley and Jessica Kingsley Productions, thank you! My review is honest and unbiased.
"Consent is not the absence of 'no', it is an enthusiastic YES!"
This little book touches not only on judgement of victims and victim blaming, but how consent works not only between two people who haven't had sex before, but two people who have previously had sex. Consent is always important, whether it's your first experience with the other person or not. It's a very quick read that would be great for waning attention spans, and I think it should be in school libraries and used in the classroom. It mostly features conversations between friends, but also includes some resources for additional information in the back of the book. My personal favorite is for the "Tea Consent" video which can be easily found on YouTube. A clean version without swearing is also available, plus one intended for kids which mostly uses hugging or hand holding to explain to young viewers.
There's some UK lingo that might be difficult for some to understand, but not too much. Other than that, it's very inclusive, which earned it some bonus points from me.
This book is mostly about the importance of communication and driving home the fact that you are in charge of your own body. My little feminist heart loved it. Put it in schools. Please.
I received an ARC of this book from Net Galley and Jessica Kingsley Productions, thank you! My review is honest and unbiased.
July 21, 2017
This graphic novel was adorable, diverse, and presented an amazing point in such an understandable way! I honestly just want this book to be present in every school library across the world and for every middle-schooler and high-schooler to be required to read it and discuss it, because it brings up so many important topics regarding consent that kids need to be thinking about as they enter their sexually active times in their life - or even if they don't want to be sexually active, it can still teach them how to relate better to their peers who are, as well as empathizing with abuse survivors.
Thank you to NetGalley and Singing Dragon for the ARC of this book! All opinions expressed here are my own.
Thank you to NetGalley and Singing Dragon for the ARC of this book! All opinions expressed here are my own.
February 16, 2018
El consentimiento no es la ausencia de No, es un entusiasta SI
Este libro es magnifico para explicar un tema muy importante: que es el consentimiento. Pareciera que todo el mundo tiene una opinión limitada acerca de lo que es el consentimiento y para quienes aplica.
Seré breve: el consentimiento es aceptar claramente tener un acercamiento de tipo sexual, desde un beso hasta el coito. Y aplica para todos los seres humanos. Y este libro es bastante claro en exponer ambos puntos, al grado que realmente me gustaría que se encuentre en español y con un ejemplar en todas las escuelas y bibliotecas por una simple razón: es claro, conciso y accesible para cualquier lector, además de que ayudaría al tratamiento de tópicos sensibles de una manera accesible, tanto para niños, jóvenes y adultos.
Sin demonizar, el tema del consentimiento es tratado de manera respetuosa y sensible, tratando los aspectos básicos pero permitiendo que se tenga una idea bastante clara de lo que es y representa.
A digital copy of this book was provided by NetGalley
Este libro es magnifico para explicar un tema muy importante: que es el consentimiento. Pareciera que todo el mundo tiene una opinión limitada acerca de lo que es el consentimiento y para quienes aplica.
Seré breve: el consentimiento es aceptar claramente tener un acercamiento de tipo sexual, desde un beso hasta el coito. Y aplica para todos los seres humanos. Y este libro es bastante claro en exponer ambos puntos, al grado que realmente me gustaría que se encuentre en español y con un ejemplar en todas las escuelas y bibliotecas por una simple razón: es claro, conciso y accesible para cualquier lector, además de que ayudaría al tratamiento de tópicos sensibles de una manera accesible, tanto para niños, jóvenes y adultos.
Sin demonizar, el tema del consentimiento es tratado de manera respetuosa y sensible, tratando los aspectos básicos pero permitiendo que se tenga una idea bastante clara de lo que es y representa.
A digital copy of this book was provided by NetGalley
August 6, 2017
It's great to see something about consent geared at middle schoolers, because I was part of a conversation just the other day - on a college campus - about how college students have spent a lifetime learning how to say no to drugs but often have no skills to navigate boundaries in physical relationships. And the other person often can't or doesn't try to interpret a frozen shoulder, a lack of response, as a lack of consent. So the intent behind this graphic novel is five stars. A few things make it less than stellar in the end - there is a lot of UK-specific lingo (meaning it would not translate elsewhere, and I suspect this might fall under "trying too hard" for the intended audience) and it's so thinly veiled as preachy that I'm not sure it works. But I'm a huge fan of the intent. Keep working on it, keep educating about this topic, and perhaps this format will work for some.
Thanks to the publisher for providing a review copy through Edelweiss.
Thanks to the publisher for providing a review copy through Edelweiss.
July 22, 2017
*4.25 Stars*
I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
When four teenage girls learn that one of their classmates was raped, they start discussing the meaning of consent and other important topics.
This was a short graphic novel (around 50-60 pages) that speak of important subjects, like consent, porn or the effect of media on our body image... I didn’t actually learn anything reading this but I think younger people would.
I truly think this book should be read by every young teenagers who are starting to be in sexually active relationships or anyone older who still hasn’t grasped the concept of consent which is perfectly put in this book : “Consent is not the absence of 'NO', it is an enthusiastic YES!!”
This should pretty much be read and talked about in middle school.
I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
When four teenage girls learn that one of their classmates was raped, they start discussing the meaning of consent and other important topics.
This was a short graphic novel (around 50-60 pages) that speak of important subjects, like consent, porn or the effect of media on our body image... I didn’t actually learn anything reading this but I think younger people would.
I truly think this book should be read by every young teenagers who are starting to be in sexually active relationships or anyone older who still hasn’t grasped the concept of consent which is perfectly put in this book : “Consent is not the absence of 'NO', it is an enthusiastic YES!!”
This should pretty much be read and talked about in middle school.
December 7, 2017
Consent explained to middle and high schoolers by fictitious middle or high schoolers in England.
There aren't a lot of books focused solely on this topic so this is important.
At the same time, this one's pandering, preachy, Pollyanna-ish, and, at times, problematic and I'm not sure I could have figured out consent by reading this book.
On the plus side, it does delve into how pressure and manipulation - personal and societal as well as from a partner - work.
However, there are no strategies offered on how to navigate that minefield.
In this case, everyone coming together and talking about things made everyone realize what they'd been doing wrong and how they were going to do things better from here on out.
If you've ever been pressured to do something you don't want to do, you know it doesn't work like that. Talking about your feelings rarely leads to an "Oh! I didn't know! I'm so sorry and I'll make sure we're always on the same page from here on out" moment.
But open communication is something we all need to practice so kudos to suggesting that as a first step.
I just wish there were follow-up steps to take in the case saying no doesn't work.
This may or may not be a helpful resource to help young adults understand consent. I suppose it depends on the audience.
There aren't a lot of books focused solely on this topic so this is important.
At the same time, this one's pandering, preachy, Pollyanna-ish, and, at times, problematic and I'm not sure I could have figured out consent by reading this book.
On the plus side, it does delve into how pressure and manipulation - personal and societal as well as from a partner - work.
However, there are no strategies offered on how to navigate that minefield.
In this case, everyone coming together and talking about things made everyone realize what they'd been doing wrong and how they were going to do things better from here on out.
If you've ever been pressured to do something you don't want to do, you know it doesn't work like that. Talking about your feelings rarely leads to an "Oh! I didn't know! I'm so sorry and I'll make sure we're always on the same page from here on out" moment.
But open communication is something we all need to practice so kudos to suggesting that as a first step.
I just wish there were follow-up steps to take in the case saying no doesn't work.
This may or may not be a helpful resource to help young adults understand consent. I suppose it depends on the audience.
November 21, 2017
I saw this graphic novel and I know its often a hot topic online and in the news, so I requested it to check it out. It's made for young adults and is geared for that level and I feel its a great topic to get young people talking on the subject to open up beforehand and get their feelings and thoughts out about what it means and how they feel about the matter. I think that it's better to discuss it before something happens to hopefully ward off a potential problem. It could prevent a problem that way if everyone laid out their real feelings honestly. I know it's not something we ever talked about when we were young and maybe it would have helped if we had been able and honest enough to. No one should be pressured into doing things that they aren't comfortable doing.
I feel it will be a good thing for young people who take the time to read it and think about what it says. And even for older people too actually. Its just common sense but things that some people may not have thought about before when it comes to consent and the law. A positive thing all around. Thanks for reading. An advance copy was provided by NetGalley for my review
I feel it will be a good thing for young people who take the time to read it and think about what it says. And even for older people too actually. Its just common sense but things that some people may not have thought about before when it comes to consent and the law. A positive thing all around. Thanks for reading. An advance copy was provided by NetGalley for my review
August 23, 2017
A topic as broad as consent is hard to capture.
This short graphic novel gives a pretty introductory explanation about how consent is dealt with among young adult. However, I found it to be very superficial at times and felt like the girl's PoVs were dimmed down so the boys voices could be centered.
The art was cute enough, not really my style and the dialogue felt stilted and unnatural. There is potential in this but it needs work.
This short graphic novel gives a pretty introductory explanation about how consent is dealt with among young adult. However, I found it to be very superficial at times and felt like the girl's PoVs were dimmed down so the boys voices could be centered.
The art was cute enough, not really my style and the dialogue felt stilted and unnatural. There is potential in this but it needs work.
September 18, 2017
Loved it. I am the Queen of Consent and I will be the first person in the room to destroy someone who treats consent like it's a joke. Made for a YA United Kingdom audience so the lingo is a little wonky for American kids, but I don't think it'll be too difficult for them to understand.
There is inclusion of girls, guys, AND queer kids in the discussion of consent (thank you god), discussion of pressures girls face in relationships, pressures guys face in society (aka my favorite talking subject ~toxic masculinity~), an overall marvelous emphasis on how important communication is in relationships, and the kids are diverse in race, as well.
It didn't get too into detail on certain subjects mentioned (like the porn industry, sexual assault), and didn't at all mention the phrase "rape culture" (which is extremely unfortunate), but I can't expect to see content you'd learn from a Gender Studies 101 class in a YA graphic novel. So I guess what I mean is, this is a good start for the targeted demographic.
Lots of great content, but only getting a 4/5 from me because it still seemed like it was trying too hard to pack in all this information in a way that would be "hip" and "cool" enough for young adults. I appreciate it as it is now as an actual adult, but rewind five years to when I was a teenager and I would've prolly thought it was annoying. And thusly not paid attention to it. Cos teenagers can smell from a mile away when an adult is trying way too hard to be relatable. And they love to make fun of adults trying to connect with them. (not that I did that when I was a kid, tho. cough, cough.)
That aside, I AM SO HAPPY to see adults putting in this kind of effort in order to get young people to pay more attention to consent, because inclusive consent education in the US is still very, very much lacking. That this graphic novel is soon to exist makes me internally weep with joy.
Out November 21st!
There is inclusion of girls, guys, AND queer kids in the discussion of consent (thank you god), discussion of pressures girls face in relationships, pressures guys face in society (aka my favorite talking subject ~toxic masculinity~), an overall marvelous emphasis on how important communication is in relationships, and the kids are diverse in race, as well.
It didn't get too into detail on certain subjects mentioned (like the porn industry, sexual assault), and didn't at all mention the phrase "rape culture" (which is extremely unfortunate), but I can't expect to see content you'd learn from a Gender Studies 101 class in a YA graphic novel. So I guess what I mean is, this is a good start for the targeted demographic.
Lots of great content, but only getting a 4/5 from me because it still seemed like it was trying too hard to pack in all this information in a way that would be "hip" and "cool" enough for young adults. I appreciate it as it is now as an actual adult, but rewind five years to when I was a teenager and I would've prolly thought it was annoying. And thusly not paid attention to it. Cos teenagers can smell from a mile away when an adult is trying way too hard to be relatable. And they love to make fun of adults trying to connect with them. (not that I did that when I was a kid, tho. cough, cough.)
That aside, I AM SO HAPPY to see adults putting in this kind of effort in order to get young people to pay more attention to consent, because inclusive consent education in the US is still very, very much lacking. That this graphic novel is soon to exist makes me internally weep with joy.
Out November 21st!
August 2, 2017
Ok, so this was an admirable try at talking to young adults about consent. But I'm not sure how effective it will be. The dialogue reads very much like adults trying to relate to teenagers, and if today's teenagers are anything like I was, that's just not going to make them relate to this at all.
It also demonises things that can be perfectly normal and valid parts of any relationship. The consent discussion is important, making porn and nude pics out to be the enemy kind of negates that. The graphic novel rightly says that everyone views sex differently, and rightly says to promote discussion among partners to find out what the others are into. But it also sets up porn as creating unrealistic expectations about sex, which is not something that I wholeheartedly agree with. In some cases, sure, but teenagers aren't stupid. They can differentiate fantasy from reality, and the way that this presented that kind of made it seem like teenagers were just very 'monkey see, monkey do'.
The entire premise for the discussion on consent was a classmate being raped, which was sort of used as an incidental plot point, which felt sort of...cheap.
I also disagree with the way they handled nudes. Sending nudes is ALSO a matter of consent. It's a matter of trust between two consenting partners. If you send a nude, it's not you who've done anything wrong. The person in the wrong is the person who shares it against your will. I've sent nudes, I've never had them shared online. I consented, and the partners in question respected me by not sharing it. There is nothing wrong with that, and it's a valid way to share your sexuality with your partner.
All in all, this was a great step in promoting discussion about consent, but it fell flat at a few hurdles.
It also demonises things that can be perfectly normal and valid parts of any relationship. The consent discussion is important, making porn and nude pics out to be the enemy kind of negates that. The graphic novel rightly says that everyone views sex differently, and rightly says to promote discussion among partners to find out what the others are into. But it also sets up porn as creating unrealistic expectations about sex, which is not something that I wholeheartedly agree with. In some cases, sure, but teenagers aren't stupid. They can differentiate fantasy from reality, and the way that this presented that kind of made it seem like teenagers were just very 'monkey see, monkey do'.
The entire premise for the discussion on consent was a classmate being raped, which was sort of used as an incidental plot point, which felt sort of...cheap.
I also disagree with the way they handled nudes. Sending nudes is ALSO a matter of consent. It's a matter of trust between two consenting partners. If you send a nude, it's not you who've done anything wrong. The person in the wrong is the person who shares it against your will. I've sent nudes, I've never had them shared online. I consented, and the partners in question respected me by not sharing it. There is nothing wrong with that, and it's a valid way to share your sexuality with your partner.
All in all, this was a great step in promoting discussion about consent, but it fell flat at a few hurdles.
July 25, 2017
4.5 stars You can also read it on my blog!
Received from Netgalley in exchange of honest review.
While this can be a pretty good teaching tool to teach middle and high school students about consent, I feel like it should be the only thing that teachers should used. The reason why I give it a 4. 5 instead of a five cause it felt like skimmed telling guys that they should consent to things as well. The majority of the book spend telling girls they should consent to things which is nothing wrong with that all but it's a two way street. Some guys can be uncomfortable with doing things with their girls ( or guys) would could be pressuring them to things as well. It just needed to be shone in more " it can happen both ways" light. All in all It was pretty good.
Received from Netgalley in exchange of honest review.
While this can be a pretty good teaching tool to teach middle and high school students about consent, I feel like it should be the only thing that teachers should used. The reason why I give it a 4. 5 instead of a five cause it felt like skimmed telling guys that they should consent to things as well. The majority of the book spend telling girls they should consent to things which is nothing wrong with that all but it's a two way street. Some guys can be uncomfortable with doing things with their girls ( or guys) would could be pressuring them to things as well. It just needed to be shone in more " it can happen both ways" light. All in all It was pretty good.
August 9, 2017
This book deals with a very important topic. By having a group of friends discuss the meaning of consent, it covers the influence of media and porn in relationships and also talks about what constitutes a healthy relationship. I loved how the book mentions not just the struggles of girls but also highlights the pressure that boys are under.
Bottom Line - "Consent is not the absence of no, it is an enthusiastic yes."
I might not have learnt anything new from this book, but I still enjoyed reading it. Would highly recommend it to younger audiences.
Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher. This has not influenced my review in any way.
Bottom Line - "Consent is not the absence of no, it is an enthusiastic yes."
I might not have learnt anything new from this book, but I still enjoyed reading it. Would highly recommend it to younger audiences.
Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher. This has not influenced my review in any way.
August 30, 2017
This graphic novel set to publish on November 21st from Jessica Kingsley Publishing is an absolute must read for teens.
It delves into every aspect of what consent truly means while making sure to include voices from everyone. It has great diversity and shows what it truly means to be sexy positive.
There is so much bad information out there for people new to the dating world that it is imperative books like these are read. Especially in a culture where abstinence only based on outdated sexist ideology reigns.
Received for review from Netgalley.
It delves into every aspect of what consent truly means while making sure to include voices from everyone. It has great diversity and shows what it truly means to be sexy positive.
There is so much bad information out there for people new to the dating world that it is imperative books like these are read. Especially in a culture where abstinence only based on outdated sexist ideology reigns.
Received for review from Netgalley.
August 14, 2017
This graphic novel is very important especially for teenagers
It starts with news that a girl has been rapped and these teenagers started talking about how it's not her fault and what is consent and how this should be discussed more.
I'm very happy that I read this graphic novel, it educated me and I'm sure it'll educate others too.
It starts with news that a girl has been rapped and these teenagers started talking about how it's not her fault and what is consent and how this should be discussed more.
I'm very happy that I read this graphic novel, it educated me and I'm sure it'll educate others too.
July 29, 2017
review also posted on Wordpress! spoiler-free review!
I received an e-ARC from Jessica Kingsley Publishers through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!
When I spotted What Does Consent Really Mean? on Netgalley, I was instantly intrigued. Often, people have good intentions while discussion topics such as consent, but it can also go wrong in many ways, e.g. by only discussing consent in allocishet relationships. So I definitely planned on reading this graphic novel critically.
Overall, I think What Does Consent Really Mean? is a solid introduction to the topic of consent. I loved that it also dealt with consent in relationships. The rape culture in our society is very difficult to discuss, even more so when we are talking about people who are in a relationship with each other. Therefore, it hit close to home. Though I don't think it was perfect, I do want to hand it out to others so they realise how important consent is.
Right from the start, this graphic novels features a black character and a character wearing a hijab, which I loved. Unfortunately, due to the very poor formatting of this e-ARC, I couldn't tell whether they were the ones who slut-shamed. I really hope that's not the case, but I can't tell: it was impossible to know who said what, because the text wasn't included in the speech bubbles.
Once or twice queer people were mentioned, but only briefly. Furthermore, I can't tell whether anything queerphobic was said due to the poor formatting. Every sentence was jumbled, so I probably had to skip half of this graphic novel.
Talking about queer people: I think asexual people must experience even more pressure to do things they don't want to do. Some are sex repulsed and I can only imagine that if their partner isn't ace, they might force them to do things they don't want to do. Yet What Does Consent Really Mean? doesn't discuss that. This is still very centred around allocishet people.
I completely understand the negative role pornography can carry. Yes, people are pressured into doing things they don't want to do because of it. But, I don't think we should blame sex workers. I find this very difficult to admit, because it's something I struggle with. How can I support people that can cause so much harm? It's not the individuals' fault, rather than the industry's. So when sentences such as "the girls [in porn] are just always up for anything" were said in this graphic novel, they rubbed me the wrong way.
Another discussing in What Does Consent Really Mean? that irked me, was the one about nudes. We shouldn't frighten people into not daring to take such pictures. We should, however, make people realise that sharing someone's nudes is wrong and shouldn't go unpunished. I think that's a huge differences, whereas in this comic, I got the impression that nudes shouldn't be taken in the first place, because "my dad says that anything online stays there forever. Even if you trust someone now, you never know what they might do". Which is true, but not the way we should be handling this issue.
Finally, the following sentences is very harmful and is not the way we should draw the line for what is considered consent and what isn't:
"How do you know if you're consenting? If you listen to your body, you'll know.
You can e.g. get an erection while being raped, so when your body is responding in a "positive" way, that doesn't mean you are consenting. So I thought this last piece of advice was very iffy.
conclusion: What Does Consent Really Mean? is a solid introduction to the topic of consent and very relatable to someone who has been in a relationship with lack thereof. Because of the poor formatting of this e-ARC, I might re-read this graphic novel once the finished copies are released.
✿ You can also find me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest and Wordpress! ✿
I received an e-ARC from Jessica Kingsley Publishers through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!
When I spotted What Does Consent Really Mean? on Netgalley, I was instantly intrigued. Often, people have good intentions while discussion topics such as consent, but it can also go wrong in many ways, e.g. by only discussing consent in allocishet relationships. So I definitely planned on reading this graphic novel critically.
Overall, I think What Does Consent Really Mean? is a solid introduction to the topic of consent. I loved that it also dealt with consent in relationships. The rape culture in our society is very difficult to discuss, even more so when we are talking about people who are in a relationship with each other. Therefore, it hit close to home. Though I don't think it was perfect, I do want to hand it out to others so they realise how important consent is.
Right from the start, this graphic novels features a black character and a character wearing a hijab, which I loved. Unfortunately, due to the very poor formatting of this e-ARC, I couldn't tell whether they were the ones who slut-shamed. I really hope that's not the case, but I can't tell: it was impossible to know who said what, because the text wasn't included in the speech bubbles.
Once or twice queer people were mentioned, but only briefly. Furthermore, I can't tell whether anything queerphobic was said due to the poor formatting. Every sentence was jumbled, so I probably had to skip half of this graphic novel.
Talking about queer people: I think asexual people must experience even more pressure to do things they don't want to do. Some are sex repulsed and I can only imagine that if their partner isn't ace, they might force them to do things they don't want to do. Yet What Does Consent Really Mean? doesn't discuss that. This is still very centred around allocishet people.
I completely understand the negative role pornography can carry. Yes, people are pressured into doing things they don't want to do because of it. But, I don't think we should blame sex workers. I find this very difficult to admit, because it's something I struggle with. How can I support people that can cause so much harm? It's not the individuals' fault, rather than the industry's. So when sentences such as "the girls [in porn] are just always up for anything" were said in this graphic novel, they rubbed me the wrong way.
Another discussing in What Does Consent Really Mean? that irked me, was the one about nudes. We shouldn't frighten people into not daring to take such pictures. We should, however, make people realise that sharing someone's nudes is wrong and shouldn't go unpunished. I think that's a huge differences, whereas in this comic, I got the impression that nudes shouldn't be taken in the first place, because "my dad says that anything online stays there forever. Even if you trust someone now, you never know what they might do". Which is true, but not the way we should be handling this issue.
Finally, the following sentences is very harmful and is not the way we should draw the line for what is considered consent and what isn't:
"How do you know if you're consenting? If you listen to your body, you'll know.
You can e.g. get an erection while being raped, so when your body is responding in a "positive" way, that doesn't mean you are consenting. So I thought this last piece of advice was very iffy.
conclusion: What Does Consent Really Mean? is a solid introduction to the topic of consent and very relatable to someone who has been in a relationship with lack thereof. Because of the poor formatting of this e-ARC, I might re-read this graphic novel once the finished copies are released.
✿ You can also find me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest and Wordpress! ✿
July 12, 2018
Consent is NOT the absence of No, it is an enthusiastic YES!
I love this little book so much. It's easy to follow, it's very informational and friendly for younger audiences, and diverse in both characters and POVs.
Some of the characters know a little on the topic of consent, others weren't educated about it at all; which brought some great perspectives to the table. Each character had different stories to tell that contributed to the story.
A lot of important issues were brought up like...
-What if I'm kissing my boyfriend and we start to get a little farther and I change my mind and he gets mad? Is it my fault? (No. You are no longer consenting.)
-There's a lot of talk about peer/pressure and guilt tripping in order for people to get others to do what they want. (Which is not consent.)
-It's mentioned that if an underage person has sex with someone who is older, it's still considered rape. (Yes, even if they're both consenting.)
-Nudes are mentioned.
-There's talk about porn and how it's not really what people are interested in doing. (Hint: because it's all fake.)
Other important matters that were discussed...
-They all talk about how weird it is to verbalize consent.
-They mention lgbtq+ peoples and how consent is the same whether it's a boy and a girl or two guys.
-Body language- even after talking, one person may still seem unsure and doesn't verbalize yes or no. (No consent!)
There are also a ton of different references and discussion topics at the back of the book for different subjects. Overall, I'm really glad there's a book out there like this that's easy to understand and talks about various topics.
I love this little book so much. It's easy to follow, it's very informational and friendly for younger audiences, and diverse in both characters and POVs.
Some of the characters know a little on the topic of consent, others weren't educated about it at all; which brought some great perspectives to the table. Each character had different stories to tell that contributed to the story.
A lot of important issues were brought up like...
-What if I'm kissing my boyfriend and we start to get a little farther and I change my mind and he gets mad? Is it my fault? (No. You are no longer consenting.)
-There's a lot of talk about peer/pressure and guilt tripping in order for people to get others to do what they want. (Which is not consent.)
-It's mentioned that if an underage person has sex with someone who is older, it's still considered rape. (Yes, even if they're both consenting.)
-Nudes are mentioned.
-There's talk about porn and how it's not really what people are interested in doing. (Hint: because it's all fake.)
Other important matters that were discussed...
-They all talk about how weird it is to verbalize consent.
-They mention lgbtq+ peoples and how consent is the same whether it's a boy and a girl or two guys.
-Body language- even after talking, one person may still seem unsure and doesn't verbalize yes or no. (No consent!)
There are also a ton of different references and discussion topics at the back of the book for different subjects. Overall, I'm really glad there's a book out there like this that's easy to understand and talks about various topics.
July 24, 2017
I requested this book from the publisher as I am thinking about resources for my boys as they approach their teen years. I found the graphic novel concise (important as teens are more willing to read it), diverse, and engaging. I really appreciated the content at the end which has discussion questions and gives additional resources. It uses British terms, and that might be confusing to American teenagers who do not know British slang. Overall, not enough of a negative to have me lower my rating. I would say this is a must read for tween and teen boys and girls.
July 23, 2020
I wish a book like this didn't have to exist. But it does have to. There are still so many underlying messages about consent that shouldn't be continued, and there are older people who need to unlearn them, but this is a great place to start with younger people. Let's give them the correct messages from the beginning, and they won't have to unlearn later on. “Consent is not the absence of 'NO', it is an enthusiastic YES!!”
September 11, 2017
Though the language is a bit stilted in places (lots of "it is" where an "it's" would feel more natural), but overall this is a very thorough introduction to the idea of consent and what it entails. The characters are believably diverse and it's nice to see them having frank discussions about sex, sexuality, and issues of consent. The book also features a discussion guide in the back, with resources and discussion questions to further explore the issues touched on in the book.
December 15, 2017
Well-intentioned, but better suited for a middle school audience than a high school one.
June 19, 2018
Good information is presented in a heavy-handed and awkward manner.
November 6, 2017
I was provided with an e-arc of this book by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 stars
I LOVE the idea of using this format to tackle such an important topic for everyone and especially for teens.
I think this GN does a wonderful job in introducing the idea of consent and what it means and I really appreciate the additional resources listed in the back.
That being said, I felt a tad bit disappointed in the dialogue, especially in the beginning. It read like a cheesy after school special and I wasn't buying it. I do feel like it started flowing better as the book went on but it was hard to get past.
Also, while not a deal breaker, some of the UK dialogue might be a bit confusing if you aren't familiar with it. Thinking of the teens at my library, I'm guessing when they hear that someone did something because they were "pissed," they're going to think that person was angry, not drunk. Unfortunately, that particular example is when they are making a good point about drinking not being a good excuse to not ask for consent and it's possibly lost in translation.
Overall, I think it's a great start and I hope it opens the door for similar types of books to be shared.
3.5 stars
I LOVE the idea of using this format to tackle such an important topic for everyone and especially for teens.
I think this GN does a wonderful job in introducing the idea of consent and what it means and I really appreciate the additional resources listed in the back.
That being said, I felt a tad bit disappointed in the dialogue, especially in the beginning. It read like a cheesy after school special and I wasn't buying it. I do feel like it started flowing better as the book went on but it was hard to get past.
Also, while not a deal breaker, some of the UK dialogue might be a bit confusing if you aren't familiar with it. Thinking of the teens at my library, I'm guessing when they hear that someone did something because they were "pissed," they're going to think that person was angry, not drunk. Unfortunately, that particular example is when they are making a good point about drinking not being a good excuse to not ask for consent and it's possibly lost in translation.
Overall, I think it's a great start and I hope it opens the door for similar types of books to be shared.
July 30, 2017
We talk about consent, but does anyone really understand, espcially teenager, when peer pressure is such a big thing? This book takes a good mix of teenagers, racially diverse, economically levels, sexualities, and has them have a conversation. This conversation seems quite natural.
The story begins with the teenagers leaving school, and discussing a new girl in school who had to leave her last school because she was raped. First the girls discuss this, and then it moves on to whether this was her fault (it was not, and never is), and what is consent anyway.
This later moves to them talking about their own relationships with boys, and talking to the boys as well.
The end of the book has many resources for further discussion, although., since this was written in the UK, many of the resources are UK based. However, it is pointed out that video on the cup of tea, which explains consent very well, as one of the resources.
This book should be available to all schools and libraries. It is a conversation that should be had for all.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review
The story begins with the teenagers leaving school, and discussing a new girl in school who had to leave her last school because she was raped. First the girls discuss this, and then it moves on to whether this was her fault (it was not, and never is), and what is consent anyway.
This later moves to them talking about their own relationships with boys, and talking to the boys as well.
The end of the book has many resources for further discussion, although., since this was written in the UK, many of the resources are UK based. However, it is pointed out that video on the cup of tea, which explains consent very well, as one of the resources.
This book should be available to all schools and libraries. It is a conversation that should be had for all.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review
January 17, 2020
2.5/5 thumbs. Important topic, but reads like an after school special. Unfortunately, my teens that I'd want to read this book wouldn't reach for it naturally. It features an ethnically and racially diverse cast, speaks about consent, rape, porn, sex, and healthy relationships, and is LGBTQ+ inclusive. It was published in the UK and includes a lot of British slang (i.e. chips = fries, fancy = like, etc.). Do British teens say "touching me up" instead of "feeling me up"? This specific phrase contributed to the stilted, after school special dialogue. I think the topic is important and needs to be written about, maybe in a more subtle way. However, this is definitely a great resource for a caregiver who needs to bring up this topic in a very intentional way with discussion questions in the back to guide dialogue.
August 8, 2017
I was so excited to see this title, as consent is a much-needed topic in YA materials. "What Does Consent Really Mean?" uses a brief, approachable graphic novel format to show a group of teens discussing how to understand consent in the context of their lives.
This is a nice introduction to thinking about consent for teens. Using different friends in conversation, it follows common trains of thought and experiences that teens might have, such as wondering what to do when you don't feel like being intimate or if you change your mind midway, or being unsure of what everyone else is doing in terms of sex. I love the variety of experiences included and that the plot embraces the awkwardness of talking about these things with friends. It really reads like a conversation! It's also wonderful to see a sex-positive approach, that doesn't shame teens but instead focuses on teens being in control of themselves and their experiences.
The art is fun and simple - it doesn't stand out, but allows the discussion to be the most important part. I was happy to find that it was much more natural than many stilted non-fiction graphic novels I have read! The characters are somewhat diverse and seem intended to represent many backgrounds, though beyond race and sexuality, there is no obvious diversity. I think the bright colors and sympathetic characters will draw in teens.
This is such a short book that many big topics are only touched upon and not explored as fully as I would have liked (e.g., masculinity and sex, social media, pornography). Likewise, starting off with an instance of rape was a little abrupt, and could be triggering - it felt like the authors just used it as a tool to start the discussion without more consideration. I would hate for a teen to put it down for that reason, because it gets much better and more nuanced. However, the resources in the back provide an opportunity for teens to explore more on their own if a subtopic concerns them or they need more information. I see this graphic novel as a great jumping off point for teens to understand how they should be treated (and of course, how they should treat others) when it comes to intimacy and their bodies.
This is a nice introduction to thinking about consent for teens. Using different friends in conversation, it follows common trains of thought and experiences that teens might have, such as wondering what to do when you don't feel like being intimate or if you change your mind midway, or being unsure of what everyone else is doing in terms of sex. I love the variety of experiences included and that the plot embraces the awkwardness of talking about these things with friends. It really reads like a conversation! It's also wonderful to see a sex-positive approach, that doesn't shame teens but instead focuses on teens being in control of themselves and their experiences.
The art is fun and simple - it doesn't stand out, but allows the discussion to be the most important part. I was happy to find that it was much more natural than many stilted non-fiction graphic novels I have read! The characters are somewhat diverse and seem intended to represent many backgrounds, though beyond race and sexuality, there is no obvious diversity. I think the bright colors and sympathetic characters will draw in teens.
This is such a short book that many big topics are only touched upon and not explored as fully as I would have liked (e.g., masculinity and sex, social media, pornography). Likewise, starting off with an instance of rape was a little abrupt, and could be triggering - it felt like the authors just used it as a tool to start the discussion without more consideration. I would hate for a teen to put it down for that reason, because it gets much better and more nuanced. However, the resources in the back provide an opportunity for teens to explore more on their own if a subtopic concerns them or they need more information. I see this graphic novel as a great jumping off point for teens to understand how they should be treated (and of course, how they should treat others) when it comes to intimacy and their bodies.
August 23, 2017
I liked the drawings, and the message is obviously very important, but unfortunately the execution was seriously lagging. Not only did the characters not sound like teenagers, they didn't even sound like adults having a natural conversation, but rather like adults reading aloud lines they had been given by an over-eager PSA scriptwriter. It was stilted and unnatural and very, very eye-roll inducing.
Which is a shame, because the topic is SO important. I would love to see this plot worked over by a thorough editor to see what could come of it then.
Which is a shame, because the topic is SO important. I would love to see this plot worked over by a thorough editor to see what could come of it then.
August 15, 2018
I'm not really sure who this is aimed at and neither, it seems, are the publishers
It's formatted like a beginning readers book BUT
the language and sexual references are only going to fly with teens BUT
the art and heavy-handed message delivery is better suited to tweens.
And NOBODY talks like this:
"Surely consent is more than just perverts getting off with young people?"
"Surely we just need to get used to the fact that people can fancy whoever they like?"
The message is good but the delivery is not.
It's formatted like a beginning readers book BUT
the language and sexual references are only going to fly with teens BUT
the art and heavy-handed message delivery is better suited to tweens.
And NOBODY talks like this:
"Surely consent is more than just perverts getting off with young people?"
"Surely we just need to get used to the fact that people can fancy whoever they like?"
The message is good but the delivery is not.
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