Ефектът на сянката: Как да овладеем тъмната си страна

by Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford

Случвало ли Ви се е в пристъп на гняв да казвате неща, за които после горчиво да съжалявате? Да действате по начин, който противоречи на ценностната ви система, на всичко, в което вярвате? Нима наистина не сме били на себе си, както се оправдаваме, или сме били точно себе си, но отказваме да си го признаем?
Сянката е неразделна част от нашата същност. И все пак ние прекарваме по-голямата част от живота си, бягайки от нея, отричайки властта й над нас. И колкото повече отказваме да опознаем тъмната си страна, толкова по-спонтанно и разрушително е нейното проявление. Това е причината иначе добри хора да проявят неочаквана жестокост и така завинаги да загубят доверието на околните и собственото си самоуважение. Те са естествено следствие от продължителното потискане на мрачните ни импулси, чиято тъмна сила в момент на невнимание или слабост се е отприщила и в миг е унищожила живота ни завинаги.
Решението е да се изправим очи в очи със собствените си демони, да признаем своята тъмна страна и да я приемем за част от същността си. Само така бихме успели да трансформираме сянката си и да поемем контрола над живота си.

Всички имаме своята сянка. Колкото по-малко я осъзнаваме, толкова по-черна и плътна е тя. ~ Карл Густав Юнг

Genres: Self Help, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Audiobook, Personal Growth

256 pages, Paperback

Published March 25, 2011

About the author

Deepak Chopra, MD serves as the Founder and Chairman of The Chopra Foundation, and Co-Founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing.

As a global leader and pioneer in the field of mind-body medicine, Chopra transforms the way the world views physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social wellness. Known as a prolific author of eighty books books with twenty-two New York Times best sellers in both fiction and non-fiction, his works have been published in more than forty-three languages.

Chopra’s medical training is in internal medicine and endocrinology. He is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and a member of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. Dr. Chopra serves as Co-Founder and Chairman of The Chopra Center for Wellbeing, Founder of The Chopra Well on YouTube, Adjunct Professor of Executive Programs at Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, Adjunct Professor at Columbia Business School, Columbia University, Assistant Clinical Professor, in the Family and Preventive Medicine Department at the University of California, San Diego, Health Sciences, Faculty at Walt Disney Imagineering, and Senior Scientist with The Gallup Organization.

GlobeIn acknowledges Chopra as "one of top ten most influential spiritual leaders around the world." TIME magazine has described Dr. Chopra as "one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century and credits him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine."

Reviews

[Michele Harrod · Rating 4 out of 5]

Isn't it strange, when you have a book on your shelf for quite some time, and suddenly the spine seems to glow and call out to you "pick me, pick me". This happened with The Shadow Effect, so it went into my travel bag when I was packing for a holiday last week. I then came across the author Marianne Williamson, but could not find the book title concerned, on line. Turns out, she is a contributing author in this book. What can I say about The Shadow Effect? Firstly, I think it should be a text-book in schools, especially Debbie Ford's explanation of projection - and how if we read all the people that really get up our nose, and why, we will discover that what we are finding so annoying, is something that we really need to bring out from the shadows within ourselves. Believe me, I have tried to disprove this theory all week, and I cannot. She is pretty spot on.

This was a book, which after reading, I needed to pull my journal out, and then found myself writing for days. I found Deepak Chopra's section quite difficult to follow (but am seeing him live on 2nd August - so will be curious to see if he covers this material). Lastly, the opening chapter by Marianne Williamson, literally reduced me to tears. I have simply been plagued my whole life with my inability to reconcile mankind's ability to wreak such intense pain and suffering on each other, which is in such diabolical contrast to the extreme beauty and kindness I also know we have the capacity to be. These opposing sides of human nature at times cause me such despair that I can barely stand to live in the world. This book, for the first time in my life, literally offered an answer to this question, and a solution for humankind to recognise and accept both the light and the darkness inside us all, and to learn to read our own darknesses as the signposts that lead us back to the light, rather than 'badness' that we have to bury, hide, or deny, which ultimately causes us endless shame, and a lack of 'wholeness' and complete self-acceptance. To gain that of course, is the first step to ever finding real love and acceptance of everyone else.

For me, this book was a revelation. Now I am off to watch the movie on line, and then probably to do the on-line course. I have never read anything that rang quite so true before. This is the sort of book I want to go out and buy a copy for every single person I know. I love their shadow selves already!

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

"... without wholeness, all we can create is superficial change."

" Denial is a false solution."

"Love doesn’t need seeking. Like the air you breathe, it exists as part of nature; it’s a given."

"Big, blown-out fantasies about our lives stem from the pain of our unrealized potential,"

"Those we project on hold pieces of our unclaimed darkness as well as pieces of our unclaimed light."

I gave this book 4 stars more for it's subject matter rather than how it is written. For those of us who find the Law of Attraction doesn't work, or, worse, works in reverse, and therefore seems like so much smile-an-be-happy bullshit the Shadow is the other half of the equation the Law of Attraction is missing. This book asserts that the Shadow, compulsive behaviors, self-sabotage, bad decisions, life messiness, dramas, or even our pet peeves with other people, rather than being denied, turned off, or turned away from should be, must be, looked at as another way the universe shows us ourselves, as a source of knowledge, wisdom, creativity, and energy. Instead of banging our heads against the wall wondering why these things show up in our lives again and again we should look under the hood to see what kind of pain and fear we're hiding from and compensating for.

As to how it is written: Deepak Chopra goes first with a broad collage of the spiritual, metaphysical source and reason for the Shadow and how to approach it. I must say the first part of his essay is some of the messiest writing of his I've waded into. He puts forth divergent subjects in one paragraph but doesn't connect the dots between them. But stick with it. He soon settles down and gives us some gems we can use. Debbie Ford's part is next and it contains the most nuts and bolts we can use to turn our Shadows from destructive forces into positive, creative energy. But after Chopra's and Ford's encouragement to build a stable core and expand our awareness to encompass our Shadow and make it part of our Whole, along comes Marianne Williamson with her judgement and separation saying the shadow must be "gotten rid of". I found Ms. Williamson's writing the least useful and plowed through it as quickly as possible, although I did find a couple of gems, such as: "Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself, because I realized how much pain I would have had to be in to develop that sort of coping mechanism to begin with."

This book is a good starting point for learning about the Shadow and I plan to explore more, mostly through Ms. Ford's work since she has the best concrete details for how to tap into its positive force.

[Ileana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall, I was disappointed with this book. I found Deepak Chopra's section somewhat useful, deep, and thought provoking. Debbie Ford's section was very repetitive, light, and not that useful, although she did make me think more about the idea that we are walking mirrors. What we like or dislike in others are the very things that we like or dislike about ourselves. I really enjoyed Marianne Williamson's portion.

It also got me thinking in the fact that not only do we need to take care of our physical selves, but also nurture and attend to our emotional selves.

Some favorite quotes:

"At its highest, compassion has a healing role to play. When you offer sympathy, the woes of another are heard and passed on to a higher level of awareness." p. 48

"Once you feel safe, you know that you have a right to be here. In order to feel that you actually belong, however, you must feel loved. Love is reassurance that you are cherished." p. 67

"Choiceless awareness isn't about giving up on what you want. It's about shifting your allegiance away from what the ego wants to what the universe wants. In choiseless awareness you let consciousness make all the decisions. In other words, the thing you want is also the best thing you could want." p. 71

"Only when we stop pretending to be something we are not - when we no longer feel the need to hide or overcompensate for either our weaknesses or our gifts - will we know the freedom of expressing our authentic self and have the ability to make choices that are based on the life we truly desire to live." p. 106

Prayer is not just a symbol; it is a force. Mediation is not just something that relaxes us; it is something that harmonizes the energies of the universe. Forgiveness doesn't just make us feel better; it literally transforms the heart. All the powers that emanate from God are powers that will set us free." p. 157

[S A · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book takes you to a journey from the self, through the self, to the self.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book as an audio book while I rode my stationary bike in the living room. I'm not against counting audiobooks on Goodreads, so I will. :P

I very much enjoyed this book. It gave some great insight into the human psyche, and confirmed things about people in general that you were always hoping were true. We all have a dark side, and it threatens continuously to destroy us.

The book was read by its authors, and it was well read and interesting. I thought Debbie Ford's voice was a little whiny, and I thought Marianne Williamson was too sure of herself by saying that if we never find God, we will never find our light. She came across as a little preachy and self-righteous.

The message of the book is gold. It reaches out to you to let you know that your inner conflicts are part of a universal condition, and that was truly enlightening for me.

My one problem with this book is that while it pulls the shadow into the light, it doesn't really focus on the removal of it from our lives. Okay, meditation was suggested, as was changing the way that you think...but neither of these are practical steps, and they seem overly simplified.

Now that the shadow is 'out of the closet' so to speak, we need a practical follow-up book that gives us ways in which to move away from all of our negativity and fear.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this 5 stars because it is very well explained, and is powerful wisdom relevant to everyone.

We are all caught in a dualistic world, between what we see as good and evil, god and the devil, saint and sinner, light and shadow. But if we embrace ourselves and see all these as belonging to us (although not us), then we can come into wholeness and better appreciate that our shadow sides are not to be suppressed but that they have valuable lessons to teach us. Our shadows can serve as guides for us to live more integrated lives as whole beings, and prevent us from feeling fragmented. Then we can experience oneness. You would understand the concept of the shadow if you are able to say "No one is complete good or evil. We are a bit of both."

Deepak Chopra explained it very well when he said that our shadow or darker traits are like beach balls - the harder we try to push them under the water of our psyches, the harder and more furiously they push themselves up to the surface. As co-author Debbie Ford said, that is the reason why so many giants of moralities have fallen under the same vice that they condemned in others.

I find that a very good point that Chopra made was that we cannot use our light to suppress and overcome our shadow because the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. The only way to reveal and manage our shadow side is to shine consciousness on it. This way, we can better understand the impulses that drive our thoughts and actions. These impulses have a root that needed to be examined, to be understood.

For instance, he cited the example of a young man who was good friends with a rich couple who often extended their hospitality to him. One day, during a dinner party at the couple's home, when discussion about synchronicity, the young man said in front of all the guests:"Did you recall the last time that we were in this city and both of you were arguing so badly that you didn't notice anything else? A van pulled up and on it was written 'Blue Tantrum'" This embarrassed his hosts who later asked him to examine his motivation in that flash of the moment. He did, and realised that deep inside, he envied his friends and felt humiliated that he could not reciprocate their kindness. Being conscious of his shadow's impulses was a powerful lesson for him.

The authors come form a very compassionate position. They encourage the reader to see our shadows as basic parts of our natures and psyches and not as something evil or or a sine that needed to be suppressed or condemned. Only by exercising the light of our consciousness can our shadows come out of their hiding places. Otherwise, many of us will live most of our lives dictated by our shadows but never know they even existed. By seeing our shadow as part of us, we begin a journey of conscious living and by understanding that our shadows arose from pain and fear, we begin our growth.

I found the section on "collective unconscious" by Deepak Chopra very interesting. This was a term Carl Jung coined. Very often, the decisions that we make are dictated by this collective unconscious (one can also call it common values or social norms) and we need to understand if that collective unconscious in a particular case is serving or hampering our growth.

Overall, Chopra and Ford's sections were marvelous. I didn't really get Marianne Williamson's section as it was peppered with too much Christian and pseudo Christian analogies and lingo, and that was kind of a put off for me.

But 5 stars still!

[Shayra · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Shadow Effect was one of the first books I’ve read that I felt I could relate to so much. It offers three different perspectives to what is the shadow and how we can deal/live with it. I had been interested in Deepak Chopra’s works in terms of the universe and consciousness. So I mainly got this book because of him, but I’m glad that I got to read two other perspectives from Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson.
This book has a taught me that we live in a world made up of duality. Where there is good, there is also evil. We cannot get rid of nor escape the evil, we can only accept it and learn to control our emotions. The evil, in this case the shadow, comes in many forms relating to negativity including, but not limited to: anger, guilt, greed, and even the ego. It has taught me to be aware of my consciousness when the shadow is lurking. Rather than projecting hate where one would normally do, we can learn to project love and therefore creating the life we want to live. It all starts within.
This book has helped me transition into the spiritual path of life and I will always look back to it for guidance.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a little disappointed in the book - maybe my expectations were too high - maybe I just wasn't in the right mindset when I read it.

I felt like each author discussed the "shadow", and gave some anecdotal stories to prove its existence, but I didn't walk away with any practical ideas on how to make the book useful for me.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best guide to understanding both myself and other people I have ever read. And when you're done, you'll find yourself going through life a little lighter. No one around you changes, but you change. Your experience changes and that makes your life infinitely better and happier.

[Liz Sloan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing, thought-provoking book. I already love Debbie Ford's work on the shadow in her book 'Courage' and combined with Marianne Williamson's strong writing about truth and love this was an amazing book to read with some awesome tools to put in place in your own life. Can't wait to read it again already!

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was FANTASTIC for the first two-thirds. That is, until Marianne Williamson came in. Her portion was obnoxious, contradictory, and written poorly.

[Mostafa Tabrizian · Rating 2 out of 5]

اولین خوانش از ۱۹ تا ۲۴ تیر
#41_2019
#106_All
__________________
بعد از ۶۰ صفحه و نگاه هایی که به صفجات بعدش انداختم فهمیدم این کتاب خیلی به درد من نمیخوره تا اینکه رفتم اخرین صفحه دیدم یه تست اثر سایه داره؛ اونو که انجام دادم همونطور که فکر‌ میکردم اصلا به این کتاب نیاز ندارم ولی تو تحلیل اثر سایه یه چیز رو گفت که اگر اون رو رعایت کنم، سایه بی سایه میشم.

مخفی کردن اسرار و پنهانکاری رو ول کن و اون هارو به چیز های بهتر تبدیل کن.

منم تو دلم هم قبولش دارم هم ندارم 😊
چون اثراتش رو بعد از سالها الان میبینم 😓
___________________
گزیده های کتاب:

سایه از نیرویش استفاده می‌کند تا تاریکی را همچون روشنایی بنمایاند.
___________________
امتیاز: 4/10
___________________
مصطفی تبریزیان
23 تير ۱۳۹۸

[Dani (The Pluviophile Writer) · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first audio book...recommended and borrowed from a love one.

I really connected with the first two speakers of this book (I will talk about Williamson shortly).

Both Chopra and Ford showed us aspects of ourselves that we are all familiar yet so many of use choose not acknowledge. Our negative thoughts, our less than great qualities, projecting blame or negative comments on to others as well as self judgment... these are aspects of our shadow. This book helps us determine why we act the way that we do with certain people or situations and why we create our own demise to things that we have worked so hard to attain. By recognizing why we think, act and react to certain areas in our lives and by fully accepting ALL of our qualities, we can be authenticated. By recognizing that when we project on to others, whether that is a positive or negative projection, the reason is that we already recognize these potential qualities in ourselves. Whether that’s a positive yearning to be better in one aspect or another or acknowledging that you are fearful of becoming or do already embody a quality that you may not want in yourself, turning that projection inward will lead to self improvement. Many of us don’t want to see our own shadows because it's painful and there is also a good measure of fear in looking at our shadows as quite often the reason we do certain things is because we've built up certain areas of our shadow to protect ourselves against this fear and pain.

You can't win against the shadow. That's what we think we're doing half of the time, such as deciding to repress a feeling or a quality within ourselves. If you repress the shadow somehow you're 'winning'. Repressing the shadow just gives it more strength and it will find its way out in the most importunate moments. Becoming whole is accepting both sides, both shadow and light, which is what makes us human.

Listening to these speakers made me realize that I really would "rather be whole than good" (a quote by Carl Jung that was emphasized by Ford). Like many, I've spent a lot of my life shaping myself and qualities to meet other people’s needs and to ensure that I am well liked, appreciated, loved and admired. Being whole is about finding a balance and a measure of self-love. By being whole you can be yourself and find that life is more rewarding to be so. You'll end up surrounding yourself with people that matter and will reciprocate your love, you create life that's truly based more on what you want rather then what you feel you should be doing, you can stand up for yourself and all of your qualities will amount to your success. This book also made me also realize that this last year has been difficult because I have actually been taking the time to acknowledge my own shadow so it was a fortunate time for me to read this as I wondered if all of the self-improvement that I had been working on was ever going to pay off. I plan to take what this book has taught and reminded of and really find that person I know I am capable of being.

In saying all of this the reason I didn't give this book a higher review is because the last speaker, Williamson. Williamson's section was too really too fluffy and religious for me and reminded me of all stereotypical things that people think of when you say that you're reading or are into an aspect of spirituality. I also found that most of what she had to say contradicted the two previous speakers. She was talking a lot about the light and shadow and more about casting out their shadows, rather than what the two previous speakers had been discussing which was confronting your shadow and finding acceptance. The cheesiness of her verbiage and the constant reference to God and Satan really didn't work for me. The other speakers provided me with down to earth examples and references where as I felt Williamson was referencing a bible and I didn’t find it at all insightful. Williamson's work may speak to others but it did not for me.

Overall, it was a worthwhile listen. In saying that I don’t think I’ll continue down the audio-book path as it just feels like cheating and I still would have rather have read the book anyway.

[Matt Cantrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a lot of information in this book, written in three parts by individual authors of differing perspectives. The first is written from an Eastern perspective, the second from a Western psychological perspective, and the third from a spiritual perspective. It took me until the end of the book to understand the value of all three, even though the second section held the most value for me.

The central thesis is that as humans we tend to push away the "bad" parts of ourselves out of fear or a desire to avoid them and do good. But by pushing them away, we send them to the shadow where they lurk, waiting to rear their ugly heads when we least expect them. By separating these shadow selves from our conscious ego we give them power. In order to gain power over them, we have to bring these shadow selves into the light in order to become whole again -- and that isn't an easy prospect.

All three authors consistently address addiction as a result of the shadow self, and this held a lot of weight for me. The shadow self thrives on making you feel weak, because you cannot fight the shadow as long as you give it a place to live in yourself. Only when you look at yourself, and recognize that its your voice and your memories that are speaking to you can you bring them back together and take away the power that exists because of the tension between the two.

I'm not a very spiritual individual, but this another way to think of the concept of repressed memories and healing yourself. I thought it was great in the end.

[Ashlie aka The Cheerbrarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have recently begun a jag of trying to be the "best me that I can be" which for me starts with reading. I picked up this book on a whim after perusing the anemic "self help" section at my local Barnes and Noble. I didn't know much about any of the three authors, although I had heard of Chopra, but the concept of having a dark shadow intrigued me.

After reading it, I'm still not sure what I think. The book is separated into 3 main sections, one per author, and follows a progression of explaining what the shadow is, and how we should deal with it in order to move toward enlightenment and fulfillment. The basic premise is that we should embrace all parts of ourselves, even the bad parts, ie, the shadow, because ignoring or pushing down that negativity only serves to stunt growth and the ability to be happy.

Personally I feel I sometimes take a head in the sand approach to dealing with problems, and definitely beat myself up too much for little transgressions, so for me I think this concept is solid. After reading it I have tons of pages earmarked and start my day with reflection in an attempt to acknowledge my flaws and let I negativity go. Only time will tell if this method will truly be my key to a better life.

[Chantelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I initially chose to read this book to help me understand someone else but, as you might expect, it required that I look inward and to accept others as they are and let them deal with their own shadows. The section written by Marianne Williamson is the easiest to absorb; Deepak Chopra's had the most depth but required more concentration; Debbie Ford's section was the most confessional or personal but I also found it the most frustrating and did not really feel like I got much out of it. I liked the premise that the "shadow" or dark is not bad just the opposite of light and one cannot exist without the other. Also, that you must accept those shadow areas of yourself and not try to suppress them in order to be able to move on and keep them from popping up when least needed or expected to harm you and others. Interesting, if you are into introspection.

[Ivy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Shadow Effect is a short read, with three essay like chapters by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson. The book examines the fact we can never be complete and whole until we address the unsavory aspects of our nature. It varies by person, but some traits we all possess include being judgy, blaming others, acting paranoid, and seeing the world in terms of us vs. them. Chopra addresses the problem like a doctor might, diagnosing the problem and then offering a cure. Ford's tale is more autobiographical, detailing her problems as a former drug addict, and how she overcame her shadow. Williamson writes about the power of goodness and light in what I am coming to recognize is her characteristic style. A nice read if you're looking for a self-help/self-betterment title.

[Caramia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took me a while to read this small book. But all books take me a while, which is contradictory as a librarian, no time to read. I did enjoy though. Each had something a little different to offer. Debbie Ford uses the word 'God' a little too much for my tastes, but they all agree on the same points, just as most religions do, when you get to the nuts and bolts. 'Accept my dark side, even embrace it. Don't run, don't ignore. Let it pass through you.' Perhaps easier said than done, but what else have I got to do?

[Wendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very slow and repetitive. I ended up listening to it on audio cd.

[Samira Fadaei · Rating 5 out of 5]

اگه براى امتيازدهى بخوام به هر سه اين نويسنده ها پنج ستاره اختصاص بدم
ديپاك چوپرا -> پنج ستاره
دبى فورد -> پنج ستاره
مارين ويليامسون ~> يك ستاره
.
ديپاك چوبرا و دبى فورد خيلى عالى به موضوع شناخت سايه ، نحوه عملكرد سايه و روش خلاصى از سايه پرداخته بودن كه جاى هيچ شك و سوالى نميمونه
حتى گاهى در حين خواندن يك بخش سوالى در ذهن شكل مى گرفت كه موضوع ، صفحه ى بعد از اون حل مى شد . به همين خاطره كه ميگم جاى هيچ سوالى نميمونه
اما بخش ويليامسون به نظر اضافى بود و اصلا لازم نبود تو كتاب باشه
جز موضوع عشق ورزيدن كه هزار بار در قالب هاى مختلف تكرارش كرد ، چيز خاص ديگه اى نداشت
.
روز به روز ايمانم به دبى فورد به عنوان شخصى كه موضوعات روانشناسى رو براى عموم مردم مى نويسه ، بيشتر ميشه
بايد توجه داشته باشيم كه مطالب براى عموم مردم نوشته ميشه ، جورى كه همه بتونن بخونن و همه بتونن استفاده كنن و نياز به دانش روانشناسى نداره
و همچنين ديپاك چوپرا . به نظرم در زمينه ى معنوى از بقيه افراد قلم قابل قبول ترى داره
قبلا كتابى تحت عنوان هفت قانون معنويت رو از اين نويسنده خوندم كه بر خلاف عنوانش كه حالت كليشه اى داره ، محتواى خوبى داشت و پسنديدم
به طور كلى اين كتاب خيلى خوب بود و بخش ويليامسون رو فاكتور مى گيرم و امتياز كامل ميدم .
البته نگاه به بعضى امتياز خارجى ها نكنيد
بعضى هاشون كه حتى در متن ريويو هم ذكر كرده بودن به علت يكى دو جمله ى ديپاك چوپرا مبنى بر ظالم بودن آمريكا ، يك ستاره داده بودن

[Indre Savulione · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man visuomet patinka į tą patį objektą pažvelgti iš kelių persoektyvų. Ši knyga, parašyta trijų autorių, būtent tai ir suteikia. Pormoje dalyje rytų požiūris, antroje vakarietiškas, trečioji dalis iš dvasinės perspektyvos.
Jei pasiryžai susitikti su visomis savo dalimis, ši knyga tikrai bus vertinga, teikianti drąsos ir paguodos.

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The biggest takeaway from this book is that we all have a shadow self that is reflected in subtle ways in which we view the world and others in a negative light. Awakening and inspiring. I would have liked to read more about how to deal with “the shadow self” and hidden consciousness.

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very powerful concepts, not for everyone though. I highly reccoment Part 1, with Deepak Chopra.

[Liesleest · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ouderwets. Sektarisch.

[Baroness · Rating 2 out of 5]

Doing major Shadow research and decided to listen to the audiobook again. Rating remains the same...

[Marisol Gobar · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE SHADOW EFFECT
* We have been conditioned to fear the shadow side of life and the shadow side of ourselves.
* Once split off, the fragment that is “bad” loses touch with the central core of the self, the part we consider “good” because of its seeming lack of violence, anger, and fear.
* In clarity the self comes together and sees itself without blinders. You have only one self. It is the real you. It is beyond good and evil.
* unhappiness or happiness gets transmitted to the heart, liver, intestines, and kidneys.
* In order to have manifestation, you need opposing energies. You need your enemies to be who you are.
* The self is fluid and constantly changing, meaning your own self and the self you share with everyone else
* Any change you make at the level of the soul also creates a change in the outer world, which is the mirror of the soul
* Judgment is guilt wearing a moral mask to disguise its pain.
* If you believe the problem is with “them,” you have projected your own fear instead of taking responsibility for it.
* To avoid feeling that we’re not good enough, we see others around us as not good enough.
* A false state of self-acceptance is created based on “I’m okay, but you aren’t.”
* “You are not in the world. The world is in you.”
* feeling angry is useful, while aiming anger in the form of blame isn’t.
* Detachment doesn’t show indifference. It shows that you really don’t want negativity to stick to you.
* Not many of us can say that our main problem is an excess of sympathy for others.
* There is no reason for emotions ever to grow old, because the source of freshness and renewal is always at hand. Your emotional body should remain energetic, alert, flexible, and pleasing to experience. I think a single phrase, “the lightness of being,” covers all of these qualities.
* From the perspective of wholeness, you can balance the darkness and the light, being a slave to neither.
* Potential is the same as unseen possibilities. Either you see that something is possible or you don’t. So the impossible is just another name for the unseen.
* the level of the problem is never the level of the solution.
* You are choosing not to transcend when you struggle at the level of the problem.
* Your core self is stable and permanent; therefore it has nothing to fear from change.
* the world will transform itself from a place of constant risk to the playground of the unexpected.
* Stop looking for the right one. Be the right one.
* Remove the fear, and what remains is love.
* You can’t satisfy your ego by giving it everything it wants, because the ego’s whole reason for existence is to accumulate.
* Your true self is acceptable not because you are so good, but because you are complete. All things human belong to you.
* The most profound effect of meditation is to transform your awareness.
* Artists are well aware of this; their muse doesn’t answer on a time schedule.
PART II
* Sometimes, we even forget that we ever wanted anything different from what we have.
* Slowly I slipped away from any semblance of the innocent child I once was and created an outer persona that exuded confidence and success.
* What you’ve been hiding from can actually give you what you’ve been trying hard to achieve.
* If left unexamined, our shadow will emerge from the darkness to sabotage our life when we least expect and want it.
* When our precious energy isn’t tied up in hiding from or overcompensating for our self-destructive impulses, we are gifted with the clarity and the motivation we need to build an unshakable foundation for an inspiring future.
* All these pairs of opposites exist within us because we are dualistic beings made up of opposing forces.
* It is our birthright to be whole, to have it all. But to do this, we must be willing to take an honest look at ourselves and step out beyond our judgmental mind.
* Having faced our own internal demons, we are filled with peace and compassion in the presence of other people’s dark side.
* We learned from our parents, teachers, friends, and society that to win love and acceptance we had to adhere to certain prewritten scripts.
* it became safer to listen to the voices of authority rather than trust in our authentic nature.
* We learned how to shut off life and actually became comfortable doing it.
* The quest for the perfect life, the perfect role, and the perfect persona will always leave us unfulfilled
* It is nothing to be ashamed of, because most of us have a public life and a secret life
* Maybe our distaste for our cheating parent causes us to keep attracting partners who can’t be trusted and are emotionally abusive
* we must find healthy ways to express our repressed aspects so that we can be safe from behaviors that can sabotage our life.
* we can instead open the cellar doors and exchange our secret life for an authentic life.
* The more we try to suppress the aspects of our personality that we deem unacceptable, the more they find mischievous ways of expressing themselves.
* All self-sabotage is an externalization of the internal shame hidden in the dark recesses of our unconscious minds.
* yet the moments we meet our own disowned darkness are not only some of the most painful, but also the most fertile times of our life.
* Self-sabotage is nothing more than an unwillingness on the part of our higher self to continue playing the role we have assigned to ourselves.
* Projection is an involuntary defense mechanism of the ego; instead of acknowledging the qualities in us that we dislike, we project them onto someone else.
* when others come along and reflect back to you an image of a self you don’t want to be, you become reactive.
* Owning our projections is a courageous and yet humbling experience we all must go through to find peace.
* We don’t have to look far to discover that we are usually doing the exact thing we are judging others for.
* It will distract us from the relationship as a whole and, instead, force our eye and our attention to what we believe is wrong about others.
* When you understand projection, you will never see the world the same way again.
* when people wake up from the trance of projection, the people they have been projecting onto change—they become free to show up differently.
* When we can see them as they are, release them from our own judgments and clouded perceptions, a new reality will emerge
* The repetitive patterns we find ourselves trapped in always echo back to us feelings that accompanied the original wound.
* You must accept the dualistic view that being human comes with both a healthy dose of selfishness and an equal dose of selflessness.
* Freedom is being able to choose whoever and whatever we want to be at any moment in our life.
* It somehow feels easier to repeat the past than explore a different outcome.
* It’s best said by C. G. Jung: “I’d rather be whole than good.”
* The point is you must forgive yourself for possessing all these human qualities and find a healthy respect and a healthy outlet for each and every aspect of yourself
* if you are attracted to a quality in someone else, no matter how great, it also exists inside you.
* This was the divine plan for my life, and I never would have glimpsed it if I hadn’t embraced all of my projections.
PART III
* When we think with love, we are cocreating with God and therefore cocreate more love.
* In the absence of prayer or meditation—an experience of shared love between Creator and the created—we are easily tempted to perceive without love, thus entering the shadow zone within ourselves.
* Our busyness is often our enemy, making it hard for us to slow down long enough to breathe in the ethers of the spiritual planes.
* “Whenever you are having that kind of negative thought, go into naming all the things you have to be grateful for.”
* The problem, then, was not just the presence of my negativity, but the absence of my positivity!
* Meditation is not just something that relaxes us; it is something that harmonizes the energies of the universe.
* Until there is a conscious movement away from fear toward love, the dynamic energy of fear will be acting as a destructive force that takes no prisoners.
* If we identify only with the mortal world, then fear does indeed seem justified. But if we extend our perceptions beyond this world, then we see things in a higher and more hopeful light.
* Atonement is a kind of cosmic reset button, by which mortal shadow thoughts are undone and replaced by the perfection of love.
* Ultimately, the healing of the world will emerge not from our changing and correcting others, but from our willingness to change and correct ourselves.
* what we do surrender and atone for is then transformed.
* More damage is inflicted by people who think they have it all together than by people who have been humbled by the realization that they probably do not
* We heal when we feel forgiven. We heal in the presence of compassion
* It can be difficult to forgive someone whose behavior has hurt us, unless we have grounded our perceptions in a constant effort to see beyond the darkness of the personality.
* It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
If you scored 38–75 points: You may not be experiencing the full weight and impact of the shadow at this moment, but you are likely expending a lot of effort to repress and hide parts of yourself and your life that you do not like. The energy you are using to keep things from spinning out of control—whether at work, at home, or with your health and well-being—would be put to better use if it were directed toward achieving your goals and desires.

[Karen Patterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished reading this today, a very interesting read. Lots of golden nuggets of truth and how to be a better person. The shadow is real, don't deny it, just learn to work with it. "Its only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are without any self-decption or illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized" - I Ching.

[Rian Nejar · Rating 2 out of 5]

A strange twist on dualism and psychological metaphor.

The authors, described as "luminaries" in the cover of the book, invent their new form of dualism: light and shadow for a self (that they call "Your True Self" to boot).

Hey - good and evil, angel and devil, 'Deva' and 'Asura,' etc., are taken, and overused, so why not? Besides, such a metaphor will surely resonate with the rather large segment of humanity receptive to such differentiation.

Having split the self (that Chopda, starting his spiel, describes as a weak creation of the growing mind) into these two absolute definitions, they go on to say that wholeness requires acceptance, and unity, of these two splits they themselves defined. Duh...what? You split them in the first place...now you say join them?

The work smacks of an amateurish attempt to blend dualistic (a life force as distinct from the living mechanism) thought with a holistic life view.

But why lean on a dualistic model at all? Why not begin with a clean slate, as one author claims babies do, and build upon that with the innumerable and wonderful facets of the human persona? I think evolution favored humans with a great variety of emotions, all of which serve useful functions. Fear isn't a bad thing, a "shadow" characteristic as the authors call it, for it is fear that often keeps one safe. Nor is anger a terrible quality, one to be suppressed, for anger gives strength to expressions, and in times of dire need, great physical strength and mental resolve as well. Fear, anger, and shame are all natural, a part of a being's emotional makeup, aspects of a well-rounded human persona. Why split them away into the "shadow" side of a coin? Why not look at them as the many facets of a polished gem of a mind?

Besides, the authors' use of 'shadow' as a metaphor for what they consider undesirable characteristics in a human persona doesn't seem quite appropriate - isn't it light that causes a shadow? Without light, without such reference, there would not be a shadow. And who is to say light is "good?" Doesn't light burn, and dazzle? And doesn't a shadow comfort one seeking shade?

The work does contain tolerable insights into psychology, and numerous references (read name dropping) to other "luminaries" and their thinking. But 'collective unconscious,' and the 'shadow living in the collective unconscious,' seems a stretch too far. With all due respect to C. J. Jung, who no doubt came up with brilliant insights within the limitations of knowledge available in his day, his concepts and ideas have had their utility in human learning, and have been transcended. The authors' reliance upon such dated concepts to support their unique differentiation of the self is unwarranted and unworthy.

Not a book for diligent researchers into human psychology and self-help.

[Yasmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are past actions we're ashamed of and present urges we repress.

The Shadow can surface easier when put in a negative environment.

The Shadow (negativity internally) projects how we view our world externally. We can view things as dull, destructive all because of this shadow mindset.

Forgive your shadow and embrace it in love

Meditate to embrace full conscious beyond the shadow

Stop projecting: We project negative traits on to others as a defence to stop us from looking inwards. Superiority, arrogance, injustice, defensiveness, blame, prejudice, jealousy, paranoia

Our shadow is everything we dislike of others and ourselves

We have in our DNA, the possibility to experience the entire scope of human emotions.

Through influence of caregivers and those of peers and authority whilst children, we have learnt that only some of these emotions and some of these traits shouldn't be expressed and aren't as desirable as the others.

The more we try to hide and avoid our shadow, the more it will find a way to emerge.

Big focus on projection again: we only recognise traits we are subconsciously repressing in ourselves. Delve into this shadow and explore why you have this belief of this trait, who taught you to think this way?

If you are attracted to a positive quality in someone, it is also in you. It may merely be repressed due to a belief.

We can't just say "I won't do/be ___ anymore" it is part of our personality, our subconscious

Didn't seem much about the accepting of the Shadow and this process.

[Carla Parreira]

Melhores trechos: "...Há uma mente que coordena não apenas o modo como as pessoas captam os modismos umas das outras, ou decidem imitar-se; não apenas a que distância as células cerebrais sabem o que outras células cerebrais estão fazendo, mas remotos fenômenos, como o de gêmeos separados por milhares de quilômetros que subitamente sabem o que está se passando um com o outro. Esses conectores invisíveis vêm trazendo o inconsciente coletivo a muitas, muitas áreas da vida. O contágio social está se transformando em notícia, porque todos gostamos de confiar em dados, embora a possibilidade de sermos todos integrantes de uma só mente desafie a religião, a filosofia e o significado da própria vida... Aqui estão as formas típicas que a projeção pode assumir: 1. Superioridade - Eu sei que sou melhor que você. Você deveria ver e reconhecer isso. 2. Injustiça - É uma injustiça que essas coisas ruins aconteçam comigo ou Eu não mereço isso. 3. Arrogância - Tenho orgulho demais para me incomodar com você. Até sua presença me irrita. 4. Defensiva - Você está me atacando, então, não estou ouvindo. 5. Culpar os outros - Eu não fiz nada. É tudo culpa sua. 6. Idealizar os outros - Meu pai era como um Deus quando eu era pequeno, Minha mãe era a melhor mãe do mundo ou O homem com quem eu me casar será o meu herói. 7. Preconceito - Ele é um deles, e você sabe como eles são ou Cuidado, esse tipo de gente é perigosa. 8. Ciúme - Você está pensando em me trair; posso ver isso. 9. Paranoia - Eles querem me pegar ou Eu vejo a conspiração que ninguém mais vê. Sempre que um desses comportamentos surgir, há um sentimento oculto na sombra que você não consegue encarar. Aqui estão alguns exemplos: A superioridade camufla o sentimento de fracasso ou o de que os outros o rejeitariam se soubessem quem você realmente é. A injustiça camufla o sentimento de pecaminosidade ou a sensação de que você é sempre culpado. A arrogância camufla a raiva acumulada e, abaixo dela, há uma dor profundamente arraigada. A defensiva camufla a sensação de que você é indigno e fraco. A menos que você se defenda dos outros, eles começarão a atacá-lo. Culpar os outros camufla a sensação de que você está agindo errado e deveria se envergonhar. Idealizar os outros camufla a sensação de que você é uma criança fraca e indefesa, que precisa de proteção e cuidados. O preconceito camufla o sentimento de que você é inferior e merece ser rejeitado. O ciúme camufla seu próprio impulso de desvio ou um senso de inadequação sexual. A paranoia camufla uma ansiedade entranhada e sufocante. Como você pode ver, a projeção é muito mais sutil do que se imagina. No entanto, é uma porta aberta para a sombra. É uma porta dolorosa, já que aquilo que é visto como falha nos outros mascara seu sentimento em relação a você mesmo. O ideal seria que pudéssemos parar de culpar e julgar de uma vez por todas. Na realidade, desfazer a sombra é sempre um processo. Para interromper a projeção, você precisa enxergar o que está fazendo, entrar em contato com o sentimento oculto sob a superfície e fazer as pazes com esse sentimento... Depois de ter aprendido a lidar com a projeção, você pode fazer a pergunta seguinte. Por que precisa se defender? Essa se torna uma questão-chave, pois leva ao questionamento do principal motivo da existência da sombra... Os sentimentos antigos ficaram por perto para protegê-lo de se ferir do mesmo modo. Agora, faça as pazes com isso, e você terá transformado algo negativo em positivo. O medo não permaneceu para feri-lo; ele achou que você precisasse estar atento no caso de outra mágoa — caso outra garota o rejeitasse, outro parente debochasse de você, outro patrão o despedisse. Mas essas coisas não vão mais acontecer, pelo menos não exatamente da mesma maneira... A ilusão na qual recaímos é pensar que a vida nos força a escolher entre o bem e o mal. Na realidade, há um terceiro caminho, que é ser pleno. Da perspectiva da plenitude, você pode equilibrar a escuridão e a luz sem se tornar escravo de nenhuma delas. A oposição entre as duas pode se transformar em tensão criativa... Todos esses pares de opostos existem em nosso interior porque somos seres dualistas, feitos de forças opostas. Isso significa que cada qualidade que enxergamos nos outros existe em nós. Somos o microcosmo do macrocosmo — em nossa estrutura de DNA temos a impressão de todas as características. Somos capazes dos maiores atos de abnegação e dos crimes mais autopunitivos e destrutivos. Quando vista sob a luz da consciência, a sombra expõe a dualidade e a verdade tanto do self humano quanto do self divino, conforme ambos provam ser ingredientes essenciais de um ser humano autenticamente pleno. Temos de revelar, possuir e abraçar tudo aquilo que somos — o bom e o ruim, a luz e a escuridão, a abnegação e o egoísmo, e as partes honestas e desonestas de nossa personalidade. Ser pleno, possuir tudo, é nosso direito de nascença. Porém, para isso, é preciso estar disposto a lançar um olhar honesto sobre si mesmo e ir além da própria mente julgadora. É aí que surge uma mudança transformadora em nossa percepção, uma entrega do coração... A sombra prospera quando temos segredos. No instante em que fechamos a porta para um ou mais aspectos particulares, colocamos em movimento uma vida secreta... Hoje há versões atualizadas de sedutores, encantadores, bajuladores, eternos otimistas, descolados, mártires, boas garotas, caras bacanas, durões, abusivos, intimidadores, ardilosos, intelectuais, salvadores, depressivos, piadistas, solitários, vítimas e daqueles acima do padrão. São expressões repetitivas, arquétipos do mundo contemporâneo. O problema em viver dentro dessas máscaras é o que eventualmente nos faz perder de vista quem realmente somos e as possibilidades para nossa vida. Ao ignorar a escuridão, inconscientemente extinguimos nosso poder autêntico, nossa criatividade e nossos sonhos..."