What do you think?
Rate this book
Baby Lost
What happens when a death occurs within your body, but you survive? Two days after Christmas, law lecturer Hannah Robert, eight months pregnant, was driving her partner and stepkids home from a picnic when their car was crushed by a four-wheel-drive. Hannah's baby didn't survive.
When Hannah told her story in court, the judge wept. In her struggle to make sense of the personal and legal aftermath, Hannah had to find out what it means to mother a dead child and to renegotiate her own relationship with hope. Her powerful story is written with clarity and beauty, shining light on an unimaginably dark event and is, unexpectedly, tempered with life and promise.
When Hannah told her story in court, the judge wept. In her struggle to make sense of the personal and legal aftermath, Hannah had to find out what it means to mother a dead child and to renegotiate her own relationship with hope. Her powerful story is written with clarity and beauty, shining light on an unimaginably dark event and is, unexpectedly, tempered with life and promise.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
229 pages, Paperback
Published July 31, 2017
1 person is currently reading
49 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
April 11, 2018
I know I read a lot of sad books, and then write about how sad they made me... It's a bit of a trope. I guess as an anxious person I'm constantly walking the line of wanting to know about all the horrible things that can happen in the world so that I am prepared for them if they happen to me and losing sleep/giving myself nightmares about these worst case scenarios.
In saying that this book was incredibly moving and incredibly informative. I spend a lot of my time in the law faculty, and it was genuinely helpful to see the human side to a faculty member as well as seeing how law scholarship influences memoir writing. If you are at all interested in what in can look like to grieve, the many faces of trauma, and how laws govern womens' bodies, then I highly recommend this book to you (and can lend you my tear soaked copy).
In saying that this book was incredibly moving and incredibly informative. I spend a lot of my time in the law faculty, and it was genuinely helpful to see the human side to a faculty member as well as seeing how law scholarship influences memoir writing. If you are at all interested in what in can look like to grieve, the many faces of trauma, and how laws govern womens' bodies, then I highly recommend this book to you (and can lend you my tear soaked copy).
July 13, 2017
Whilst Baby Lost is undoubtedly a memoir which tells of an incredibly important point in the author's life, I just did not enjoy the writing style. Parts were confusing, and some passages felt very overwritten. I abandoned it around 10% of the way in.
July 31, 2017
Thank you NetGalley for the free advanced reader copy of Baby Lost.
"I can't imagine what she's going through," says every mother when they hear that a woman has lost her child. I don't quite agree. If you're a mother you know well enough what that loss would feel like because you love your child with every fiber of your being.
Baby Lost by Hannah Robert is the telling of her own journey through the grief of losing her child at 8 months pregnant. A car accident crushed her vehicle around her and her family, causing placenta abruption and death of her daughter before she could even be born. I was drawn to this book on NetGalley because I wanted to see inside another mother's loss. Having experienced a miscarriage, I felt an affinity to the author before reading her story. There is not one right way to handle such monumental pain and Hannah Robert guides us through her own process.
When I started this book, I couldn't put it down until Hannah reached the point of kissing her baby Z goodbye. I felt that I needed to stick by Hannah's side through her extraction of her car, through the doctors trying to find the heartbeat, beyond the cat-scans that followed the silence in her womb, and alongside her and her family as they held baby Z for the one day they physically let her go. Once Hannah kissed her baby for the last time, the chapter ended, and I allowed myself to quietly sob.
I was angry and hurt for the unfairness of her situation. I re-opened the hurt of my own lost child at 11-weeks gestation. Not far enough along to be determined a boy or a girl. This then brought new tears to my eyes; I found myself jealous that Hannah at least had a chance to hold her baby and know it was a girl. I thought she was "fortunate" to have at least held her baby and that she could hold a service for baby Z. I realized quickly how absurd that was, cried anew with guilt, and eventually brought myself back to the present.
Full Review Here
I have to say this book was perfect and give it a 5-star rating. It is hard to judge a story like this because there is no perfect way to tell such a story. Hannah made it easy to give this book 5 stars because she wasn't trying to teach us how to conquer grief, she was simply sharing her own.
Baby Lost re-opened my grief. I am grateful for this which is odd to say. I keep my grief tucked away in a corner inside of me because I have other children. Revisiting my loss felt like I was honoring my unknown child again. In just 11 days it will be six years since my loss, and this book brought it all back to me as if it was yesterday. Time truly helps us heal even if we don't want to accept that.
"I can't imagine what she's going through," says every mother when they hear that a woman has lost her child. I don't quite agree. If you're a mother you know well enough what that loss would feel like because you love your child with every fiber of your being.
Baby Lost by Hannah Robert is the telling of her own journey through the grief of losing her child at 8 months pregnant. A car accident crushed her vehicle around her and her family, causing placenta abruption and death of her daughter before she could even be born. I was drawn to this book on NetGalley because I wanted to see inside another mother's loss. Having experienced a miscarriage, I felt an affinity to the author before reading her story. There is not one right way to handle such monumental pain and Hannah Robert guides us through her own process.
When I started this book, I couldn't put it down until Hannah reached the point of kissing her baby Z goodbye. I felt that I needed to stick by Hannah's side through her extraction of her car, through the doctors trying to find the heartbeat, beyond the cat-scans that followed the silence in her womb, and alongside her and her family as they held baby Z for the one day they physically let her go. Once Hannah kissed her baby for the last time, the chapter ended, and I allowed myself to quietly sob.
I was angry and hurt for the unfairness of her situation. I re-opened the hurt of my own lost child at 11-weeks gestation. Not far enough along to be determined a boy or a girl. This then brought new tears to my eyes; I found myself jealous that Hannah at least had a chance to hold her baby and know it was a girl. I thought she was "fortunate" to have at least held her baby and that she could hold a service for baby Z. I realized quickly how absurd that was, cried anew with guilt, and eventually brought myself back to the present.
Full Review Here
I have to say this book was perfect and give it a 5-star rating. It is hard to judge a story like this because there is no perfect way to tell such a story. Hannah made it easy to give this book 5 stars because she wasn't trying to teach us how to conquer grief, she was simply sharing her own.
Baby Lost re-opened my grief. I am grateful for this which is odd to say. I keep my grief tucked away in a corner inside of me because I have other children. Revisiting my loss felt like I was honoring my unknown child again. In just 11 days it will be six years since my loss, and this book brought it all back to me as if it was yesterday. Time truly helps us heal even if we don't want to accept that.
June 27, 2019
This was a very different book to the ones I read previously, especially the light-hearted chick-lits. Baby Lost is the memoir of Australian lawyer Hannah Robert who lost her daughter at 34 weeks gestation in a car accident. The force of the impact abrupted the placenta, depriving baby Z of oxygen and nutrients, and causing Hannah to lose a lot of blood. Hannah’s partner Rima and two stepdaughters were also in the car but thankfully sustained less serious injuries. The book tells about the accident and the couple of years that follow, including their friends losing their son to SIDS a few months after Z’s death. They also start trying for a baby again, a process made much more difficult since they need donor sperm. Hannah does eventually get pregnant again and has a son, but she and Rima separate.
It was an interesting and obviously sad book. To lose your baby so close to their birth, when they are way past the age of viability would be awful. And through no fault of their own but the stupid actions of another driver. It had taken 9 months for Hannah to get pregnant and since she and Rima were a lesbian couple, each cycle meant IUI. It was an insight into the grief people experience when losing a child, one I can’t really imagine. The friends who lost their baby to SIDS got pregnant again but this baby died shortly after birth. To lose both your children is horrific but it sounds like the friends coped amazingly.
Sometimes Hannah’s journal entries and inner monologues were quite self-absorbed and sometimes a bit weird. But she was grieving a massive loss so it’s completely understandable. She does what a lot of grieving people seem to do and assigns meaning to things that don’t really make sense. Like birds being sent from Z or other things being Z saying that she’s there. Why would a baby (or anyone) suddenly develop all these powers to control things because they’re dead? I guess people hate the thought of a loved one being gone forever, especially in this case a baby they never got a chance to know, so find ways of coping that are comforting.
I had previously read an abridged version of Hannah’s story so it was interesting and saddening to read the whole thing. The connection to the law was also interesting; the question of whether the driver should be responsible for Z’s death as he would have been had she been already born.
This certainly wasn’t an easy read, but a worthwhile one I think.
It was an interesting and obviously sad book. To lose your baby so close to their birth, when they are way past the age of viability would be awful. And through no fault of their own but the stupid actions of another driver. It had taken 9 months for Hannah to get pregnant and since she and Rima were a lesbian couple, each cycle meant IUI. It was an insight into the grief people experience when losing a child, one I can’t really imagine. The friends who lost their baby to SIDS got pregnant again but this baby died shortly after birth. To lose both your children is horrific but it sounds like the friends coped amazingly.
Sometimes Hannah’s journal entries and inner monologues were quite self-absorbed and sometimes a bit weird. But she was grieving a massive loss so it’s completely understandable. She does what a lot of grieving people seem to do and assigns meaning to things that don’t really make sense. Like birds being sent from Z or other things being Z saying that she’s there. Why would a baby (or anyone) suddenly develop all these powers to control things because they’re dead? I guess people hate the thought of a loved one being gone forever, especially in this case a baby they never got a chance to know, so find ways of coping that are comforting.
I had previously read an abridged version of Hannah’s story so it was interesting and saddening to read the whole thing. The connection to the law was also interesting; the question of whether the driver should be responsible for Z’s death as he would have been had she been already born.
This certainly wasn’t an easy read, but a worthwhile one I think.
June 4, 2017
Only two days after Christmas back in 2009, Hannah's life changed drastically after a car crashed into her car while she was eight months pregnant with her little baby 'Halloumi'.
Also in the car was her partner, Roma and their daughters, Jackie and Jazzie who all managed to escape the wreck along with Hannah but unfortunately, baby Zainab had just one tender day with her family due to the horrific accident. No amount of bruises or broken bones were as significant a side effect of the crash as an innocent newborn life being so cruelly taken. I feel anger towards the reckless driver for taking this poor family's precious baby away, reckless drivers need stopping and need punishment.
Hannah's writing during the time of being in hospital talks of her inability to face traveling in a car again so soon as the trauma caught up to her and all she was facing ahead of her felt too much, working with a physiotherapist to walk again properly as well as grief all taking a toll.
I was glad to know that the reckless student driver was caught but saddened to know that Hannah and Rims split. However, their grief was aided by Ali's arrival, a newborn baby boy joined their family and sent a new glimmer of life and hope to them.
I was so glad to read that Hannah's family escaped but the loss of a new baby is always a tender thing. In our family, my aunt suffered a lot to get pregnant and I have a friend trying multiple rounds of IVF to try and have a baby, it's an emotional toll to endure at any stage of pregnancy from conceiving to birth. Hannah's account is detailed and strong, the family is a powerful team and baby Z would be proud to have such a loving family.
Many thanks to the publishers for allowing me to review this book for them!
Also in the car was her partner, Roma and their daughters, Jackie and Jazzie who all managed to escape the wreck along with Hannah but unfortunately, baby Zainab had just one tender day with her family due to the horrific accident. No amount of bruises or broken bones were as significant a side effect of the crash as an innocent newborn life being so cruelly taken. I feel anger towards the reckless driver for taking this poor family's precious baby away, reckless drivers need stopping and need punishment.
Hannah's writing during the time of being in hospital talks of her inability to face traveling in a car again so soon as the trauma caught up to her and all she was facing ahead of her felt too much, working with a physiotherapist to walk again properly as well as grief all taking a toll.
I was glad to know that the reckless student driver was caught but saddened to know that Hannah and Rims split. However, their grief was aided by Ali's arrival, a newborn baby boy joined their family and sent a new glimmer of life and hope to them.
I was so glad to read that Hannah's family escaped but the loss of a new baby is always a tender thing. In our family, my aunt suffered a lot to get pregnant and I have a friend trying multiple rounds of IVF to try and have a baby, it's an emotional toll to endure at any stage of pregnancy from conceiving to birth. Hannah's account is detailed and strong, the family is a powerful team and baby Z would be proud to have such a loving family.
Many thanks to the publishers for allowing me to review this book for them!
July 10, 2017
Thanks to Netgalley for my copy.
This is a heart wrenching account of the traumatic death of a premature baby. Hannah who was 34 weeks pregnant with Little Haloumi, her wife and two step-daughters were involved in a road accident. All of them sustained various injuries but Little Haloumi dies due to the trauma of the accident. Hannah had to undergo a Caesarian section and the family got to spend just 24 hours with their precious baby.
The books alternates with the subsequent events including the funeral and the physical rehabilitation of Hannah and the months leading up to the accident. It tells of the emotional and physical pain of losing a child not only by this couple but of others.
It details cases of the deaths of unborn children and the unfair way the courts view the viability of these babies when prosecuting in the criminal system.
This is a very emotional but extremely well written book but it is a very hard read.
This is a heart wrenching account of the traumatic death of a premature baby. Hannah who was 34 weeks pregnant with Little Haloumi, her wife and two step-daughters were involved in a road accident. All of them sustained various injuries but Little Haloumi dies due to the trauma of the accident. Hannah had to undergo a Caesarian section and the family got to spend just 24 hours with their precious baby.
The books alternates with the subsequent events including the funeral and the physical rehabilitation of Hannah and the months leading up to the accident. It tells of the emotional and physical pain of losing a child not only by this couple but of others.
It details cases of the deaths of unborn children and the unfair way the courts view the viability of these babies when prosecuting in the criminal system.
This is a very emotional but extremely well written book but it is a very hard read.
July 16, 2019
Oh my heart. Such a beautifully written account will resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced loss.
My favourite part was her quote from Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, who wrote in When Things Fall Apart:
Truth.
My favourite part was her quote from Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, who wrote in When Things Fall Apart:
"Inspiration and wretchedness are inseparable. We always want to get rid of misery rather than see how it works together with joy. The point isn't to cultivate one thing as opposed to another, but to relate properly to where we are.
"Inspiration and wretchedness complement one another. With only inspiration, we become arrogant. With only wretchedness, we lose our vision. Feeling inspired cheers us up, makes us realise how vast and wonderful our wold is. Feeling wretched humbles us. The gloriousness of our inspiration connects us with the sacred elements of the world. But when the tables are turned and we feel wretched, that softens us up. It ripens our hearts. It becomes the ground for understanding others."
Truth.
January 3, 2018
It's always hard to give a low rating towards a nonfiction book which story is powerful, but well, here you go.
Baby Lost is one of the books I picked up randomly at my local library, first because the blurb intrigues me, second because Alice Pung endorses it on the cover.
I sympathise with the story, but I really dislike the writing. The author jumps back and forth between timelines, often in the same chapters, and it really confuses me a lot. I have to always read the date to make sense of the story. It also has bits and pieces of her old journal (as this book is published seven years after the accident).
Overall, a good premise, but the writing really turns me off.
Baby Lost is one of the books I picked up randomly at my local library, first because the blurb intrigues me, second because Alice Pung endorses it on the cover.
I sympathise with the story, but I really dislike the writing. The author jumps back and forth between timelines, often in the same chapters, and it really confuses me a lot. I have to always read the date to make sense of the story. It also has bits and pieces of her old journal (as this book is published seven years after the accident).
Overall, a good premise, but the writing really turns me off.
August 17, 2017
Many thanks to NetGalley, Melbourne University Press and Hannah Robert for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was such a moving story of loss and love. Hannah, who was 34 weeks pregnant gets in a car accident and loses the baby. I felt so heartbroken and sad for Hannah, her partner and their other kids. I also felt anguish during their process through their grief. Really loved this story and would recommend to others who have lost someone they loved.
This was such a moving story of loss and love. Hannah, who was 34 weeks pregnant gets in a car accident and loses the baby. I felt so heartbroken and sad for Hannah, her partner and their other kids. I also felt anguish during their process through their grief. Really loved this story and would recommend to others who have lost someone they loved.
October 3, 2017
I have attempted to read this book twice now but just cannot seem to get into it at all.
I think the cover fits the blurb well. The blurb made me interested in reading the book but I just could not get along with it at all.
For me the book jumped about too much between the time of the "impact" then back and forth.
Did Not Finish
I think the cover fits the blurb well. The blurb made me interested in reading the book but I just could not get along with it at all.
For me the book jumped about too much between the time of the "impact" then back and forth.
Did Not Finish
November 2, 2021
I’ve read this book twice now. The first time was a few years ago, before I’d had children and I enjoyed it.
I reread it again about a month ago, after losing our second daughter. It put into words the immense pain and grief felt by a parent who loses a child. Immeasurable, confusing, relentless.
I love it.
I reread it again about a month ago, after losing our second daughter. It put into words the immense pain and grief felt by a parent who loses a child. Immeasurable, confusing, relentless.
I love it.
October 10, 2017
This book was insightful and reflective of the emotions one goes through after a still birth. The author was open and honest about how she felt, sharing her family's struggle through this pain. The poetry and blog posts used in the book were particularly incisive at times -- and I highlighted many of them in my copy. At other times, they seemed to distract from the moment. The part I will always remember is how the moms had to make their last kiss a stand-in for all of the hugs, kisses, goodbyes, and "be safe" moments they would have had if their daughter had lived. I was especially appreciative of the detail on the legal status of fetuses and the challenges of giving these lives legal standing while preserving a mother's right to an abortion when necessary for a myriad of circumstances. Recommended reading.
Thank you to NetGalley for a free ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley for a free ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
May 22, 2023
TW: baby loss, death, pro-lifers (ew)
While this memoir was all over the place, time-wise, it was a saddening and heartbreaking story about baby loss and how much it changes one’s life.
I give it 3 stars as the writing style was a bit inconsistent.
While this memoir was all over the place, time-wise, it was a saddening and heartbreaking story about baby loss and how much it changes one’s life.
I give it 3 stars as the writing style was a bit inconsistent.
September 10, 2017
Sad, tragically sad. But you have to be aware of the tragedy to appreciate the joy of life. One cannot exist without the other.
March 30, 2018
Devastating. It’s always hard to review a memoir such as this, so all I will say is - at the beginning I didn’t enjoy wading through the author’s figurative language, but I do understand it’s purpose, and her method of expression did grow on me throughout the book.
December 20, 2018
Heartbreaking
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews