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Virginity: A Positive Approach to Celibacy for the Sake of the Kingdom of Heaven
We live in a cultural milieu in whi ch it is no longer possible to have any confidence in external supports from society or the media to help one remain chaste — in the single state or in a life consecrated to God by vows. “The world is too much with us,” as William Wordsworth observed. Today much depends on the strong personal motivations of the individual coupled with the grace of God and a heavy dose of common sense for one to live this lifestyle. Still it is not only possible to do so, but to do so with joy.
This little book on celibacy and virginity for the sake of the Kingdom seeks to help create the kind of motivation necessary, drawing heavily on texts from the New Testament which address many of the problems and objections frequently leveled against the very idea of living chastely with the restraint, discipline and self‑control required. Young people, for whom this book was mainly written, are shown how to live the charism of virginity and celibacy charismatically — that is “as a gift, in all humility, with joy and perfect freedom.”
About the Author:
Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, a Capuchin priest from Ascoli Piceno, Italy, was nominated Preacher of the Papal Household in 1980 and in 2015 and has dedicated his entire life since then to preaching the word of God. Prior to that time he was a professor of Church History and the Origins of Christianity and Director of the Department of Religious Science at the Catholic University of Milan. He also served as a member of the International Theological Commission from 1975 to 1981. For 14 years, from 1994 to 2010 he has run a weekly program on the first channel of the Italian state television (RAI) on the Gospel of the following Sunday.
This little book on celibacy and virginity for the sake of the Kingdom seeks to help create the kind of motivation necessary, drawing heavily on texts from the New Testament which address many of the problems and objections frequently leveled against the very idea of living chastely with the restraint, discipline and self‑control required. Young people, for whom this book was mainly written, are shown how to live the charism of virginity and celibacy charismatically — that is “as a gift, in all humility, with joy and perfect freedom.”
About the Author:
Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, a Capuchin priest from Ascoli Piceno, Italy, was nominated Preacher of the Papal Household in 1980 and in 2015 and has dedicated his entire life since then to preaching the word of God. Prior to that time he was a professor of Church History and the Origins of Christianity and Director of the Department of Religious Science at the Catholic University of Milan. He also served as a member of the International Theological Commission from 1975 to 1981. For 14 years, from 1994 to 2010 he has run a weekly program on the first channel of the Italian state television (RAI) on the Gospel of the following Sunday.
114 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1990
25 people are currently reading
171 people want to read
About the author
Raniero Cantalamessa
159 books83 followersFather Raniero Cantalamessa is a Franciscan Capuchin Catholic Priest. Born in Ascoli Piceno, Italy, 22 July 1934, ordained priest in 1958. Divinity Doctor (Fribourg 1962) and Doctor in classical literature (Milan 1966). Former Ordinary Professor of History of Ancient Christianity and Director of the Department of Religious Sciences at the Catholic University of Milan. Member of the International Theological Commission (1975-1981) and for 12 years member of the Catholic Delegation for the dialogue with the Pentecostal Churches.
In 1979 he resigned his teaching position to become a full time preacher of the Gospel. In 1980 he was appointed by Pope John Paul II Preacher to the Papal Household and confirmed in that position by pope Benedict XVI in 2005. In this capacity he preaches a weekly sermon in Advent and Lent in the presence of the Pope, the cardinals, bishops an prelates of the Roman Curia and the general superiors of religious orders. He is also frequently invited to speak in many countries around the world, both to Catholic and Protestant audiences.
He has received an Honorary degree in Laws from Notre Dame University (Indiana), in Sciences of communication from the University of Macerata (Italy) and in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville (Ohio).
In addition to his early scholar books on patristic Christology, Easter in the Ancient Church and other topics he has published numerous books on spirituality fruit of his preaching to the papal Household, translated in more than twenty foreign languages.
For 14 years, from 1994 to 2010 he has run a weekly program on the first channel of the Italian state television (RAI) on the Gospel of the following Sunday.
From 2009, when he is not engaged in preaching, he lives in an hermitage, at Cittaducale (Rieti) ministering to a small community of cloistered nuns.
The 18 July 2013 he has been confirmed by pope Francis as Preacher to the Papal Household.
In 1979 he resigned his teaching position to become a full time preacher of the Gospel. In 1980 he was appointed by Pope John Paul II Preacher to the Papal Household and confirmed in that position by pope Benedict XVI in 2005. In this capacity he preaches a weekly sermon in Advent and Lent in the presence of the Pope, the cardinals, bishops an prelates of the Roman Curia and the general superiors of religious orders. He is also frequently invited to speak in many countries around the world, both to Catholic and Protestant audiences.
He has received an Honorary degree in Laws from Notre Dame University (Indiana), in Sciences of communication from the University of Macerata (Italy) and in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville (Ohio).
In addition to his early scholar books on patristic Christology, Easter in the Ancient Church and other topics he has published numerous books on spirituality fruit of his preaching to the papal Household, translated in more than twenty foreign languages.
For 14 years, from 1994 to 2010 he has run a weekly program on the first channel of the Italian state television (RAI) on the Gospel of the following Sunday.
From 2009, when he is not engaged in preaching, he lives in an hermitage, at Cittaducale (Rieti) ministering to a small community of cloistered nuns.
The 18 July 2013 he has been confirmed by pope Francis as Preacher to the Papal Household.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 5, 2023
This book was assigned reading for my Theology of the Body class. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy the book was to read, and I was even more surprised that the book helped me understand marriage in an even deeper way! Cantalamessa portrays the analogy between the natural and the supernatural in a clear and compelling way, showing that both marriage and consecrated virginity for the sake of the kingdom are charisms given by the Holy Spirit, the prior being a natural charism and the latter a supernatural one. Ultimately, both charisms exist to point us toward the eschatological wedding feast of the Lamb, with consecrated virginity being the more "eschatalogically perfect" of the two charisms.
November 2, 2021
"To live in the midst of the world, with no desire for its pleasures; to be a member of every family, yet belonging to none; to share all sufferings, to penetrate all secrets, to heal all wounds; to go daily from men to God, to offer Him their homage and petitions, to return of God to man, to bring them His pardon and His hope; to have a heart of iron for chastity and a heart of flesh for charity, to teach and to pardon,console and bless and to be blessed forever. O God what a life is this, and it is thine, O priest of Jesus Christ." P.75
"There is the intial stage of the vocation, when, spurred on by grace and attracted by the ideal, one joyfully and enthusiastically says, "Yes, Lord, here I am!" Then comes the time of solitude in the heart, of weariness, of crisis, when in order to maintain that "Yes," one has to die." P. 95
"In this connection I would also like to say a word about another human situation: people who, for a whole variety of possible reasons, have been unable to marry, though they would have liked to do so. They did not choose their situation. In fact, it may cause them great suffering. To them I would like to say this: Jesus tells us that some are eunuchs because they are like that from birth, others are made so by human agency, others again have made themselves so "for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." Apparently, you belong to the first or second category. But, in the sight of God, no one is irredeemable or condemned, or a prisoner of situations. In other words, it is possible to pass from one category to another: from the category of those who have not married because of the circumstances of life, to the category of those who do not marry "for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." You need only accept the situation as something allowed by God, reconcile yourself to that way of life and use your greater freedom to devote yourselves to prayer and to the Gospel cause. In this way you too can share in the "hundredfold" promised by Christ to those who leave everything to follow Him. The greatest in the Kindgom of Heaven are not those who belong to the "more perfect state," but those who love and suffer most." Pg. 85
"There is the intial stage of the vocation, when, spurred on by grace and attracted by the ideal, one joyfully and enthusiastically says, "Yes, Lord, here I am!" Then comes the time of solitude in the heart, of weariness, of crisis, when in order to maintain that "Yes," one has to die." P. 95
"In this connection I would also like to say a word about another human situation: people who, for a whole variety of possible reasons, have been unable to marry, though they would have liked to do so. They did not choose their situation. In fact, it may cause them great suffering. To them I would like to say this: Jesus tells us that some are eunuchs because they are like that from birth, others are made so by human agency, others again have made themselves so "for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." Apparently, you belong to the first or second category. But, in the sight of God, no one is irredeemable or condemned, or a prisoner of situations. In other words, it is possible to pass from one category to another: from the category of those who have not married because of the circumstances of life, to the category of those who do not marry "for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." You need only accept the situation as something allowed by God, reconcile yourself to that way of life and use your greater freedom to devote yourselves to prayer and to the Gospel cause. In this way you too can share in the "hundredfold" promised by Christ to those who leave everything to follow Him. The greatest in the Kindgom of Heaven are not those who belong to the "more perfect state," but those who love and suffer most." Pg. 85
November 12, 2022
Nice discussion of how both celibacy and marriage are great things and gifts from the Lord and how they are interconnected and these communities can be integrated. He discusses three important aspects of living out celibacy as a gift (charism), which are with humility, with joy and peace, and with freedom. He extensively examined three things that aid in celibacy: (1) mortification, (2) healthy knowledge and acceptance of sexuality, and (3) community. He emphasized that the point of celibacy is not mere freedom or an easier life, but to use one’s freedom to focus on pursuing God for the sake of the common good.
I learned that Kierkegaard pursued celibacy (after a dramatic breaking off of an engagement with a woman for whom he always retained substantial affection). There were also a number of great quotes, such as:
“It is better for many not to be altogether free of temptations, but to be often assailed, lest they become too secure, and run the risk of pride, or take more liberty to seek after exterior consolations.” (by Thomas à Kempis)
“Temptation is the crucible in which chastity is purified, the cold bath in which it is toughened, as steel is tempered by contact with water.”
“In the story of a vocation to consecrated virginity there are also usually two stages. There is the initial stage of the vocation, when, spurred on by grace and attracted by the ideal, one joyfully and enthusiastically says, ‘Yes, Lord, here I am!’ Then comes the time of solitude of heart, of weariness, of crisis, when, in order to maintain that ‘Yes,’ one has to die.”
Overall, an excellent, encouraging, and empowering book on pursuing celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.
I learned that Kierkegaard pursued celibacy (after a dramatic breaking off of an engagement with a woman for whom he always retained substantial affection). There were also a number of great quotes, such as:
“It is better for many not to be altogether free of temptations, but to be often assailed, lest they become too secure, and run the risk of pride, or take more liberty to seek after exterior consolations.” (by Thomas à Kempis)
“Temptation is the crucible in which chastity is purified, the cold bath in which it is toughened, as steel is tempered by contact with water.”
“In the story of a vocation to consecrated virginity there are also usually two stages. There is the initial stage of the vocation, when, spurred on by grace and attracted by the ideal, one joyfully and enthusiastically says, ‘Yes, Lord, here I am!’ Then comes the time of solitude of heart, of weariness, of crisis, when, in order to maintain that ‘Yes,’ one has to die.”
Overall, an excellent, encouraging, and empowering book on pursuing celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.
July 2, 2024
A meditation on the Catholic mystery and discipline of celibacy divided in two parts, the first giving a biblical theological basis, and the second proposing ways in which to live it out.
It has some great insights such as a multifaceted significance to the phrase "eunuch for the Kingdom", and an interesting contrast between the virginity spoken of in Matthew and that spoken of in 1 Corinthians.
The book contains many references or quotes from Church Fathers, theologians, poets, and philosophers.
Closes with a brief but touching meditation on Our Lady.
It has some great insights such as a multifaceted significance to the phrase "eunuch for the Kingdom", and an interesting contrast between the virginity spoken of in Matthew and that spoken of in 1 Corinthians.
The book contains many references or quotes from Church Fathers, theologians, poets, and philosophers.
Closes with a brief but touching meditation on Our Lady.
June 24, 2018
I preferred this presentation on celibacy over the other popular modern work, “And You Are Christ’s” by Fr. Thomas Dubay.
March 23, 2023
Cantalamessa writes with excellent elegance in this short guide to celibacy!
May 19, 2025
Excellent book especially for those who are discerning a vocation to priesthood, religious life or consecrated life.Cardinal Cantelemessa beautifully explains the church’s teaching on celibacy using practical and theological language.
December 31, 2023
Another hit by the Papal Preacher on a very controversial topic of the 20th & 21st Centuries. Obviously the book dives into the motivation for celibacy, practiced by Catholic priests & religious, & general chaste living that all Catholics are encouraged to strive for. At this point for me it is pretty necessary to look at Celibacy not just as "celibacy," but "Celibacy-for-the-Sake-of-the-Kingdom," ... Because this is what it's all about: Building the Kingdom, living a witness to a reality Beyond this temporal existence, giving Jesus one's undivided heart as a gift. The book emphasizes well the charism/gift element of celibacy, & especially how the existence of the two GOOD states of marriage & celibacy mutually strengthen each other because it is a choice between two GOODS. As said the Undivided Heart part was really good, this is probably the best I've ever understood it (basically just from the line about a mother's heart being divided by the number of her children etc). Then seeing Celibacy related to Jesus' Cross & Paschal Mystery, etc was good as expected, but in fact I thought the best point was how: Jesus, Mary, Joseph, John, Paul,.... were all celibates, Latin priests must be celibate, Eastern bishops must be celibate. Cantalamessa reserves the question: if all these NT Christians are celibate, how do certain Christian denominations get away with NOT having a celibacy component at all for some segment of the community? Second half was a more practical "How to" live it which I also thought was very good. Finally in addition to celibacy being a generous gift from God, and given to God, the book hypes very well that for a vocation that requires Celibacy, a person cannot just pursue the vocation Despite the celibacy component, he or she will have to actively WANT to live Celibately-for-the-Sake-of-the-Kingdom for the vocation to have any chance of success. "You do not choose celibacy & virginity in order to enter into the Kingdom, but because the Kingdom has entered into you." A good book on an important topic.
July 7, 2022
Read as part of the IPF curriculum.
Being completely honest, I hadn't expected to enjoy this read as much as I had. Fr. Cantalamessa presents, in a profound and insightful way, virginity and celibacy and how it's particularly to be lived out as members of the Church. He addresses the biblical foundation for such a practice and draws out the motivations and reasons for its initial institution and why persons would want to live in such a way. Then Fr. Cantalamessa dives into the practicals of living out one's celibate charism, particularly in relation to the married life.
Reading, reflecting, and praying through this text has brought me to a greater appreciation for the vocation and gift of celibacy and has moved me to embrace it with a newfound excitement.
Being completely honest, I hadn't expected to enjoy this read as much as I had. Fr. Cantalamessa presents, in a profound and insightful way, virginity and celibacy and how it's particularly to be lived out as members of the Church. He addresses the biblical foundation for such a practice and draws out the motivations and reasons for its initial institution and why persons would want to live in such a way. Then Fr. Cantalamessa dives into the practicals of living out one's celibate charism, particularly in relation to the married life.
Reading, reflecting, and praying through this text has brought me to a greater appreciation for the vocation and gift of celibacy and has moved me to embrace it with a newfound excitement.
March 24, 2024
I highly recommend anyone - lay or religious, single or married - to read this. Cantalamessa not only gives an excellent Scriptural basis for the Church’s teaching on virginity and celibacy, but he broadened my understanding and appreciation of both marriage and celibacy. Both are vocations, both are gifts to the Lord and the Church, and each one supports the other.
January 27, 2025
Un libro muy sencillo… Quick read pues. Me abrió la cabeza como seminarista cuántas veces no veo el no casarme y ser célibe (o intentar serlo) como un regalo de Dios. No es un “sacrificio” que hago, sino una gracia que Dios me está compartiendo.
También, gran lectura para matrimonios. Habla mucho de cómo la virginidad/celibato y el matrimonio se nutren mutuamente.
También, gran lectura para matrimonios. Habla mucho de cómo la virginidad/celibato y el matrimonio se nutren mutuamente.
August 22, 2020
One of the best books I have read on the spirituality and theology of the vowed celibate life--and one of the most helpful books I have read for my own formation, as well. Highly recommended to all religious.
July 5, 2021
A short read on virginity and celibacy in the living tradition of the Church. The work provides helpful insights and points worthy of reflection for those living a vocation that calls to celibacy and virginity.
January 21, 2023
Excelente!!!! Cuando tomas un libro en la mano y no lo sueltas hasta terminarlo es que es demasiado bueno. La voz profética del Hermano Raniero Cantalamessa es sutil, hermosa pero convincente en sus planteamientos. Una joya de libro!!!!
March 3, 2021
Really enjoyed this and would recommend it! Great reflections on why the celibate vocation exists + the beauty of living it out. Thanks Fr. Wade !!!
August 20, 2023
Makes me want to be a nun.
June 25, 2024
Father claims to cite psychology but he only cites Sigmund Freud, for a 1995 book his psychology is from the 1930s.
January 14, 2025
Helped me discern into seminary. Going to reread becuase I did not annotate and also did not retain much.
June 20, 2025
Noice. (lots to ponder)
November 14, 2025
Another great work by Cantalamessa. Grounded in scripture, thorough, and very applicable -- its small length is decieving in the depth and breadth it covers.
August 5, 2025
God bless P. Cantalamessa. This book changed my life.
March 12, 2013
"Yes, Lord, here I am!" Then comes the time of solitude of the heart, of weariness, of crisis, when in order to maintain that "Yes", one has to die." If you study Theology of the Body, this is a great extra reading to have and keep in mind. Fr. Cantalamessa does an splendid job here, presenting an apology of the Virginity and why is not only linked to single and celibate people, but it should be born in the heart of every one. This teaching is something missing in present Cathequesis, at least in Bolivia where I live.
January 22, 2020
Short but sweet
I don’t necessarily agree with everything said about Mary, but I think there are some valid points made about keeping one’s self chaste for the kingdom of God, whether for a season or for a whole life.
I don’t necessarily agree with everything said about Mary, but I think there are some valid points made about keeping one’s self chaste for the kingdom of God, whether for a season or for a whole life.
July 3, 2024
The word that comes to mind is wow. Really a vital read for every Catholic person that truly demonstrates, clarifies, and affirms every vocation both celibate and married.
2nd read through: as good as the first.
2nd read through: as good as the first.
July 18, 2011
Fr. Raniero has many great insights into the life of a celibate. He offers many practical and sensible recommendations for anyone wishing to live such a life.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews