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Nunca Vuelvas a Perseguir a un Hombre: 38 Secretos para Poder Conseguir al Hombre de tus Sueños, Mantener su Interés en Ti y Evitar Relaciones Sin Futuro
Descubre cómo tener al hombre que tú quieres y evita relaciones sin futuro.
Si un hombre no te toma en serio, puede ser se vea obligado a solamente pasar un buen rato contigo. Desafortunadamente, este rato va a durar hasta que finalmente te des cuenta de que te está usando, o hasta que el Señor Pérdida de Tiempo se vaya con la mujer que EN VERDAD quiere.
En casos como estos, lo que una mujer realmente necesita son dos cosas: una buena cantidad de respeto por sí misma y un set de reglas para citas románticas “a prueba de patanes” que le van a permitir tomar decisiones sabias al recorrer el accidentado camino de las citas románticas para encontrar al Señor Correcto.
Cómo mantener a un hombre interesado sin andar con jueguitos o convertirte en su tapete.
Hay muchos libros para mujeres acerca de relaciones que venden la idea de que la clave para que los hombres te tomen en serio y para que puedas conseguir lo que deseas es tener un alto nivel de seguridad en ti misma. Es parcialmente cierto, ya que ser segura de sí misma, por lo menos en lo que se refiere a que un hombre te busque, no sirve de nada si no entiendes cómo sacarle provecho en tu trato hacia ellos.
La forma en que un hombre nota la seguridad en una mujer es por la fuerza de sus convicciones. Ser capaz de socializar con hombres confiadamente, tener un lenguaje corporal seguro, y proyectar confianza en tu feminidad sólo te llevará a la mitad del camino si sigues permitiéndole a los hombres que manejen tus emociones, tiempo, cariño, cuerpo y todo lo demás a su antojo.
Una mujer se vuelve más atractiva a medida que desarrolla su confianza en sí misma. Pero esto de nada sirve para mantener a un hombre interesado por mucho tiempo sino exige ponerse límites firmes.
Cómo salir con un hombre para que te siga llamando y buscando.
Las mujeres que son poseedoras de unos límites firmes están centradas en principios, no en hombres o en romances. Para ellas sus valores personales, como el ser tratadas con amor incondicional, son más importantes que estar al lado de algún hombre en particular.
Una mujer que tiene límites personales firmes no baja la guardia hacia un hombre con excusas como por lo guapo que es, apariencia personal, estatus social, posición económica, raza, trasfondo, promesas, química sexual, etc. Se apega a sus armas y se rehúsa a conformarse con situaciones románticas que pudieran poner en riesgo su felicidad en el futuro.
Este libro fue diseñado para mostrarle a las mujeres cómo califican los hombres el comportamiento femenino para determinar el nivel de respeto a sí misma y por lo tanto, evaluarla como una posible pareja romántica. En el, descubrirás los eternos secretos de seducción y las reglas en citas románticas que te van a ayudar a evitar cometer errores que pueden hacer que una mujer parezca desesperada, necesitada, urgida, corriente o incluso “descalilficada” para un compromiso serio ante los ojos de un gran hombre.
Esto es lo que vas a aprender:
El arma más poderosa de seducción masculina que puede MANTENER a una mujer “adicta” a perseguir a un hombre. Cómo “repeler” conductas masculinas indeseables y hacer que el hombre que quieres te tome en serio o… ¡Que se vaya del mapa! Una simple frase de “explosión de ego” que se queda grabada en la memoria de un
Si un hombre no te toma en serio, puede ser se vea obligado a solamente pasar un buen rato contigo. Desafortunadamente, este rato va a durar hasta que finalmente te des cuenta de que te está usando, o hasta que el Señor Pérdida de Tiempo se vaya con la mujer que EN VERDAD quiere.
En casos como estos, lo que una mujer realmente necesita son dos cosas: una buena cantidad de respeto por sí misma y un set de reglas para citas románticas “a prueba de patanes” que le van a permitir tomar decisiones sabias al recorrer el accidentado camino de las citas románticas para encontrar al Señor Correcto.
Cómo mantener a un hombre interesado sin andar con jueguitos o convertirte en su tapete.
Hay muchos libros para mujeres acerca de relaciones que venden la idea de que la clave para que los hombres te tomen en serio y para que puedas conseguir lo que deseas es tener un alto nivel de seguridad en ti misma. Es parcialmente cierto, ya que ser segura de sí misma, por lo menos en lo que se refiere a que un hombre te busque, no sirve de nada si no entiendes cómo sacarle provecho en tu trato hacia ellos.
La forma en que un hombre nota la seguridad en una mujer es por la fuerza de sus convicciones. Ser capaz de socializar con hombres confiadamente, tener un lenguaje corporal seguro, y proyectar confianza en tu feminidad sólo te llevará a la mitad del camino si sigues permitiéndole a los hombres que manejen tus emociones, tiempo, cariño, cuerpo y todo lo demás a su antojo.
Una mujer se vuelve más atractiva a medida que desarrolla su confianza en sí misma. Pero esto de nada sirve para mantener a un hombre interesado por mucho tiempo sino exige ponerse límites firmes.
Cómo salir con un hombre para que te siga llamando y buscando.
Las mujeres que son poseedoras de unos límites firmes están centradas en principios, no en hombres o en romances. Para ellas sus valores personales, como el ser tratadas con amor incondicional, son más importantes que estar al lado de algún hombre en particular.
Una mujer que tiene límites personales firmes no baja la guardia hacia un hombre con excusas como por lo guapo que es, apariencia personal, estatus social, posición económica, raza, trasfondo, promesas, química sexual, etc. Se apega a sus armas y se rehúsa a conformarse con situaciones románticas que pudieran poner en riesgo su felicidad en el futuro.
Este libro fue diseñado para mostrarle a las mujeres cómo califican los hombres el comportamiento femenino para determinar el nivel de respeto a sí misma y por lo tanto, evaluarla como una posible pareja romántica. En el, descubrirás los eternos secretos de seducción y las reglas en citas románticas que te van a ayudar a evitar cometer errores que pueden hacer que una mujer parezca desesperada, necesitada, urgida, corriente o incluso “descalilficada” para un compromiso serio ante los ojos de un gran hombre.
Esto es lo que vas a aprender:
El arma más poderosa de seducción masculina que puede MANTENER a una mujer “adicta” a perseguir a un hombre. Cómo “repeler” conductas masculinas indeseables y hacer que el hombre que quieres te tome en serio o… ¡Que se vaya del mapa! Una simple frase de “explosión de ego” que se queda grabada en la memoria de un
105 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 20, 2015
3607 people are currently reading
4103 people want to read
About the author
Bruce Bryans
52 books190 followersBruce Bryans writes books for men and women who want to become both irresistible and irreplaceable romantic partners to the opposite sex. This is the focus of all of his books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 233 reviews
March 2, 2021
This is a terrible load of bullshit misogyny.
No woman needs a man’s hot tips on the following:
Dress sexy, but not too sexy.
Once you have sex with him you lose your power.
Embrace your inner vixen to attract men, but don’t be a whore.
Don’t let yourself go once you’re in a relationship (what do you think guys do when they settle into a relationship?! But women can’t???)
This is quite the time travelling experience back to somewhere between the dark ages and the 1950s.
TL,DR - do not waste your time on this dribble.
No woman needs a man’s hot tips on the following:
Dress sexy, but not too sexy.
Once you have sex with him you lose your power.
Embrace your inner vixen to attract men, but don’t be a whore.
Don’t let yourself go once you’re in a relationship (what do you think guys do when they settle into a relationship?! But women can’t???)
This is quite the time travelling experience back to somewhere between the dark ages and the 1950s.
TL,DR - do not waste your time on this dribble.
October 10, 2022
This book has occasional moments of minor insightfulness but feels (a) misogynistic, (b) self promoting with its countless references to the author's other books, and (c) far too absolute given that its subject matter is human beings, who vary widely across individuals. I'm actually really glad there are a lot of men who are NOT like what he portrays in this book — the picture he paints of a "good" man is not someone I'd want to date or marry. I'll end on a note to the author: If you want to write advice for women, maybe try and understand them a little first. Statements like "men need respect the way women need love" is complete drivel. Women (at least women like me) have a deep need for respect too, and it's disappointing that men like you, dear author, don't understand that. 1.5 stars
October 18, 2015
Simple but straight to the point
More of what some of us already know, but it's a good read. A guy point of view , it makes a lot of sense
More of what some of us already know, but it's a good read. A guy point of view , it makes a lot of sense
February 11, 2016
Great Read
"The life currency of all relationships are time, energy, and sacrifice – all of which are non-refundable. Don’t waste them on men who don’t deserve your love." This book was straight to the point no games!
"The life currency of all relationships are time, energy, and sacrifice – all of which are non-refundable. Don’t waste them on men who don’t deserve your love." This book was straight to the point no games!
May 25, 2018
Ridiculous! I picked up this book thinking it might be a fun read and I was rather disappointed. Being vulnerable is a strength, not something a woman needs to be in order for a man to protect her. This is one of many things in this book that rubbed me the wrong way. Another was encouraging a man who wants to possess you. No thank you. "Use your common sense and female intuition" is something the author himself said. I am doing so when I say don't waste your time reading this book.
October 15, 2022
This book was good. It had practical advice and reasoning behind Bruce’s viewpoints. Now, I would never consider this book a “dating bible”, or a sure-fire way of navigating the dating scene, but it does have some interesting points and would definitely be worth a read for anyone who doesn’t have much experience in dating. It gets you to think differently - to think like a “man” at times too.
I will admit, however, I did have a few eye rolling moments throughout the book, but Bruce very clearly states that he’s not saying all men are like this. And he is refreshingly honest which is something I think people need to hear too. Even if it’s just one person giving their opinion!
I will admit, however, I did have a few eye rolling moments throughout the book, but Bruce very clearly states that he’s not saying all men are like this. And he is refreshingly honest which is something I think people need to hear too. Even if it’s just one person giving their opinion!
July 18, 2021
Strong boundaries and gameplay
Confidently socialise with men, have confidence in your femininity. But unless is affects how she maintains her personal boundaries it only goes so far.
A woman with strong boundaries does not make excuses because of a man's handsomeness etc. she sticks to her guns.
Whilst most men do not like engaging in gameplay, they appreciate a woman who prioritises her dignity over a man's attention, and so won't waste her time and withdraw from a man who does not recognise her worth. This will often cause a man to chase her again.
The core purpose of this book - dating habits that attract high quality men.
1) Never be too accessible. Men will bore of something that is easy to obtain and easy to access. Women should present enough of a challenge.
Being a challenging will not always keep his interest but it will get rid of the lazy men.
Don't play hard to get, BE hard to get. You should have an exciting, attractive life of your own. Not the kind of life that he feels he needs to save you from, but someone who has a life he thinks will add to his own. He wants to feel like being with you in an honour and adventure.
Be content in your single-hood. This is ridiculously attractive to men, it communicates confidence and high value.
Don't be so eager to give up your family, friends, hobbies and aspirations when you meet a man - these are likely to be the things that attracted him to you in the first place.
2) Be cautious with how you communicate with him. It will be at your best advantage to not be always the one to initiate communication. Men are unique with egos and sense of entitlement. It can train a guy to become indifferent to you. He needs the space to miss you and then want to pursue you.
3) Prioritise phone calls over texting. You can tell how interested a man is by his method of communication. Make it clear that if a man wants to see you, he'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. Tease him and flirtatiously hint that you like to hear his voice.
4) Don't be a flake. Be a woman of your word and practice being reliable. It shows refinement of character.
5) Do not speak ill of your exes. Be extra cautious, he doesn't know you well enough to empathise properly at this point. Don't reveal too much about your unlucky past. It will cause him to judge and question your character.
6) Never risk your self-respect by trying to persuade a man to be interested in you. Do not chase a man. Its making you appear less dignified. Take away your attention and feminine affection, and turn it towards more insistent suitors.
7) Before a man has judged you as a "worthy pursuit" in his mind, it is wise to show restraint in displaying your infatuation. Look at how much initiative he takes to contact you. See how proactive he is at securing your attention. It shows that you've taken up a place in his mind. If you hastily make him the centre of your universe, you no longer are hard and a challenge to get and court.
8) Show flexibility and be easy-to-please. Its okay to have high standards and a stickler for high quality men but know when to be flexible. Go with the flow. Be hard to have, but easy to please.
9) Be willing to show your vulnerable side. If a man has shown good intentions, be open to show your vulnerabilities. This will allow an emotionally deep and intimate connection. It helps him feel more connected to you. When a woman is willing to show her emotional wounds and an appropriate time - this allows a man to uphold his manliness.
10) Once a man proves to be worth your love, cease any timidity in showing it by concentrating your efforts on escalating his emotional attachment to you. Appreciate it, a lot. It shows that you appreciate his need to protect and look after you.
11) Do not confuse a great guy with the right guy. He may be a great guy but still not be ready to give you the commitment you want - therefore he's not the right guy at this time.
12) Do not diminish the value of your love by lavishing it on a mere casual suitor. Female devotion when a man has not earnt it - its seen as desperation. A woman who is desperate to a man does not arouse his desire, merely his amusement. This can cause you exhibiting other unattractive behaviours - neediness and clinginess. Men first want to earn their way in.
13) Set your standards high and be willing to assert yourself and defend your personal boundaries with the men you date. Don't be heavy on pleasing. Men don't want someone they can walk all over.
14) Never sacrifice your deepest passions in life just to keep a man interested in you. Never settle or sell yourself short. Your dignity should always be more important. It is unattractive and undignified.
15) Do not tolerate men who want to conceal you from the rest of the world. Look at how eager he is to spend time with you, and to show you off to the world if there's no prospect of intimacy with you.
16) Do not rob a man of the joy on conquest. They want to feel captivated by a woman, and he only gets this by having the challenge of wooing you.
17) Do not allow your man's feelings to stagnate. You need to make him anxious. If you do nothing, than expect nothing to change. Have a heart to heart conversation to alert him to your concerns. Communicate your needs and concerns with him. Withdraw your attention and affection from here, this gives him time away from your warmth and attentions. Don't be testy, forceful and naggy. Withdrawing gives him the space he needs to miss you and to give him anxiety about losing you.
18) Never act exclusive with a guy who's looking to keep his options open.
19) Don't try to change men who has commitment problems. Take his word for it and go elsewhere. Sometimes men don't really know what's going on in their hearts, you might just simply not be the one for him. 9/10 it just means he has a problem with committing to you.
20) Accept how men actually are about sex, not how you hope they are.
21) Keep your female attraction in check so you do not find yourself chasing a man's aloofness.
22) Stay positive as you search for the right suitor. Don't let bad experiences define you.
23) Stay graceful when communicating with men. High emotional intelligence is important.
24) Embrace your inner vixen. Don't suppress your feminine sexuality. Graduate to the "hot one". It doesn't mean you have to become sexualised. It means loving yourself and having that confidence in a classy way. Consider what a man sees when he looks at a woman. Being cute is easy, hot and sexy however, is hard to pull off and requires effort. It make you appear highly selective and high status and therefore highly valuable to the opposite sex.
25) Do not become complacent with your appearance once you have secured your relationship.
26) Do not communicate insecurities in such a way that clearly communicates that you don't believe you're worth it. Don't self sabotage. Especially when getting to know him and before he has fully committed to you.
27) Resist the urge to get repeated reassurance from a man once he's committed to you. This shows fear and anxiety.
28) High quality men require a woman to be modest in her asserting her expectations and being seemingly presumptuous. He will think you are sounding like a princess.
29) Deserve what you want. If you want a particular man, do you deserve him? Why would a lazy, unmotivated girl deserve a career driven passionate man? High compatibility, the quality of your habits/standards and the refinement of your character that maintains his interest.
30) Only date men of high quality. The past may come back to haunt you in a new relationship.
31) Demonstrate high-value when you respond to his suggestion to date casually. Act like you couldn't care less, date casually but don't give him the relationship benefits. Give him brief captivating moments of your time. It may cause him to rack his brain even further. Guys know a girl with confidence, self-esteem and options will respond this way and it'll keep his interest. Ensure you have a busy schedule.
32) Do not move in with a man. A man can bale and you are the one who has things to lose. There's not enough external pressure - nothing to lose for him - if its his house.
33) Do not date a married man.
34) Be a man's mountain not a stepping stone.
35) Date with a clear purpose in mind. Make a list of qualities you want in a a man.
36) Guys who dump you should no longer exist. If a guy breaks up with you, you must treat him as if he no longer exists.
37) Don't try to be one of the guys. Revel in your own femininity.
38) Date as if you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that you truly deserve a man's unconditional love.
Confidently socialise with men, have confidence in your femininity. But unless is affects how she maintains her personal boundaries it only goes so far.
A woman with strong boundaries does not make excuses because of a man's handsomeness etc. she sticks to her guns.
Whilst most men do not like engaging in gameplay, they appreciate a woman who prioritises her dignity over a man's attention, and so won't waste her time and withdraw from a man who does not recognise her worth. This will often cause a man to chase her again.
The core purpose of this book - dating habits that attract high quality men.
1) Never be too accessible. Men will bore of something that is easy to obtain and easy to access. Women should present enough of a challenge.
Being a challenging will not always keep his interest but it will get rid of the lazy men.
Don't play hard to get, BE hard to get. You should have an exciting, attractive life of your own. Not the kind of life that he feels he needs to save you from, but someone who has a life he thinks will add to his own. He wants to feel like being with you in an honour and adventure.
Be content in your single-hood. This is ridiculously attractive to men, it communicates confidence and high value.
Don't be so eager to give up your family, friends, hobbies and aspirations when you meet a man - these are likely to be the things that attracted him to you in the first place.
2) Be cautious with how you communicate with him. It will be at your best advantage to not be always the one to initiate communication. Men are unique with egos and sense of entitlement. It can train a guy to become indifferent to you. He needs the space to miss you and then want to pursue you.
3) Prioritise phone calls over texting. You can tell how interested a man is by his method of communication. Make it clear that if a man wants to see you, he'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. Tease him and flirtatiously hint that you like to hear his voice.
4) Don't be a flake. Be a woman of your word and practice being reliable. It shows refinement of character.
5) Do not speak ill of your exes. Be extra cautious, he doesn't know you well enough to empathise properly at this point. Don't reveal too much about your unlucky past. It will cause him to judge and question your character.
6) Never risk your self-respect by trying to persuade a man to be interested in you. Do not chase a man. Its making you appear less dignified. Take away your attention and feminine affection, and turn it towards more insistent suitors.
7) Before a man has judged you as a "worthy pursuit" in his mind, it is wise to show restraint in displaying your infatuation. Look at how much initiative he takes to contact you. See how proactive he is at securing your attention. It shows that you've taken up a place in his mind. If you hastily make him the centre of your universe, you no longer are hard and a challenge to get and court.
8) Show flexibility and be easy-to-please. Its okay to have high standards and a stickler for high quality men but know when to be flexible. Go with the flow. Be hard to have, but easy to please.
9) Be willing to show your vulnerable side. If a man has shown good intentions, be open to show your vulnerabilities. This will allow an emotionally deep and intimate connection. It helps him feel more connected to you. When a woman is willing to show her emotional wounds and an appropriate time - this allows a man to uphold his manliness.
10) Once a man proves to be worth your love, cease any timidity in showing it by concentrating your efforts on escalating his emotional attachment to you. Appreciate it, a lot. It shows that you appreciate his need to protect and look after you.
11) Do not confuse a great guy with the right guy. He may be a great guy but still not be ready to give you the commitment you want - therefore he's not the right guy at this time.
12) Do not diminish the value of your love by lavishing it on a mere casual suitor. Female devotion when a man has not earnt it - its seen as desperation. A woman who is desperate to a man does not arouse his desire, merely his amusement. This can cause you exhibiting other unattractive behaviours - neediness and clinginess. Men first want to earn their way in.
13) Set your standards high and be willing to assert yourself and defend your personal boundaries with the men you date. Don't be heavy on pleasing. Men don't want someone they can walk all over.
14) Never sacrifice your deepest passions in life just to keep a man interested in you. Never settle or sell yourself short. Your dignity should always be more important. It is unattractive and undignified.
15) Do not tolerate men who want to conceal you from the rest of the world. Look at how eager he is to spend time with you, and to show you off to the world if there's no prospect of intimacy with you.
16) Do not rob a man of the joy on conquest. They want to feel captivated by a woman, and he only gets this by having the challenge of wooing you.
17) Do not allow your man's feelings to stagnate. You need to make him anxious. If you do nothing, than expect nothing to change. Have a heart to heart conversation to alert him to your concerns. Communicate your needs and concerns with him. Withdraw your attention and affection from here, this gives him time away from your warmth and attentions. Don't be testy, forceful and naggy. Withdrawing gives him the space he needs to miss you and to give him anxiety about losing you.
18) Never act exclusive with a guy who's looking to keep his options open.
19) Don't try to change men who has commitment problems. Take his word for it and go elsewhere. Sometimes men don't really know what's going on in their hearts, you might just simply not be the one for him. 9/10 it just means he has a problem with committing to you.
20) Accept how men actually are about sex, not how you hope they are.
21) Keep your female attraction in check so you do not find yourself chasing a man's aloofness.
22) Stay positive as you search for the right suitor. Don't let bad experiences define you.
23) Stay graceful when communicating with men. High emotional intelligence is important.
24) Embrace your inner vixen. Don't suppress your feminine sexuality. Graduate to the "hot one". It doesn't mean you have to become sexualised. It means loving yourself and having that confidence in a classy way. Consider what a man sees when he looks at a woman. Being cute is easy, hot and sexy however, is hard to pull off and requires effort. It make you appear highly selective and high status and therefore highly valuable to the opposite sex.
25) Do not become complacent with your appearance once you have secured your relationship.
26) Do not communicate insecurities in such a way that clearly communicates that you don't believe you're worth it. Don't self sabotage. Especially when getting to know him and before he has fully committed to you.
27) Resist the urge to get repeated reassurance from a man once he's committed to you. This shows fear and anxiety.
28) High quality men require a woman to be modest in her asserting her expectations and being seemingly presumptuous. He will think you are sounding like a princess.
29) Deserve what you want. If you want a particular man, do you deserve him? Why would a lazy, unmotivated girl deserve a career driven passionate man? High compatibility, the quality of your habits/standards and the refinement of your character that maintains his interest.
30) Only date men of high quality. The past may come back to haunt you in a new relationship.
31) Demonstrate high-value when you respond to his suggestion to date casually. Act like you couldn't care less, date casually but don't give him the relationship benefits. Give him brief captivating moments of your time. It may cause him to rack his brain even further. Guys know a girl with confidence, self-esteem and options will respond this way and it'll keep his interest. Ensure you have a busy schedule.
32) Do not move in with a man. A man can bale and you are the one who has things to lose. There's not enough external pressure - nothing to lose for him - if its his house.
33) Do not date a married man.
34) Be a man's mountain not a stepping stone.
35) Date with a clear purpose in mind. Make a list of qualities you want in a a man.
36) Guys who dump you should no longer exist. If a guy breaks up with you, you must treat him as if he no longer exists.
37) Don't try to be one of the guys. Revel in your own femininity.
38) Date as if you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that you truly deserve a man's unconditional love.
April 27, 2017
Audio narrated by Dan Culhane (2h 9m)
I joined Audible in November and chose this book as an experiment in figuring out if audio books would work for me. I enjoyed the narrator, the common sense advice, and the straightforward "voice" of the author. I bought two more audio books today.
November 1, 2018
This was a great book and an easy read. I think the information can ring true with many relationships, not just dating.
March 15, 2021
This book tells you nothing you haven’t heard before and is reasonably insulting in doing so.
October 13, 2022
dnf cause it became unbearable
October 24, 2022
As a female, reading this book did open my eyes to a lot of mistakes I have been comitting, but at the same time, while reading this book and another one by the same author,the feeling on how misogynistic the author is only got stronger.
In his book "Make him beg for your attention", he literally says, and I quote: "Ladies, I think we can all agree that men are just a bit more reasonable when having an argument or disagreement with the opposite sex. The reason is because most men are naturally much more pragmatic in how they see conflict."
This is said on the chapter 7 - be reasonable.
Bruce just wrote on how men are better when dealing with an argument, but then he proceeds to say, in chapter 8 - Don't expect him to argue with you on your emotional level: "When a man is emotionally compromised he either shuts down, shuts up, or…shouts." Contradicting himself.
And then again, on chapter 12- If you see he's getting upset or angry....back off: "When a man externalizes his anger, the emotions are made manifest through action. This action is expressed when he yells at something, breaks something, hits something, or slams something."
It was really stressful to me to see how a man can write a whole book on how women are not acting the right way, and end up showing that he is the reason for her wrong actions. You really think is reasonable to argue if you're gonna act like a little kid shouting ans crying, or hurting yourself because you can't "hold your temper"? That is immature, and it's so hypocritical of him to write many books without realizing that his actions are also messed up and the major part of his thoughts are not normal or healthy at all, still, he really thinks he's out there giving the best tips ever.
In his book "Make him beg for your attention", he literally says, and I quote: "Ladies, I think we can all agree that men are just a bit more reasonable when having an argument or disagreement with the opposite sex. The reason is because most men are naturally much more pragmatic in how they see conflict."
This is said on the chapter 7 - be reasonable.
Bruce just wrote on how men are better when dealing with an argument, but then he proceeds to say, in chapter 8 - Don't expect him to argue with you on your emotional level: "When a man is emotionally compromised he either shuts down, shuts up, or…shouts." Contradicting himself.
And then again, on chapter 12- If you see he's getting upset or angry....back off: "When a man externalizes his anger, the emotions are made manifest through action. This action is expressed when he yells at something, breaks something, hits something, or slams something."
It was really stressful to me to see how a man can write a whole book on how women are not acting the right way, and end up showing that he is the reason for her wrong actions. You really think is reasonable to argue if you're gonna act like a little kid shouting ans crying, or hurting yourself because you can't "hold your temper"? That is immature, and it's so hypocritical of him to write many books without realizing that his actions are also messed up and the major part of his thoughts are not normal or healthy at all, still, he really thinks he's out there giving the best tips ever.
August 29, 2018
This was the last of 3 books I bought as "research" for a relationship type book my friend has been pestering me to write for years. Like the others before it, I enjoyed the feminism behind it and the focus on empowerment. I don't agree with everything in the book, having dated and befriended men to the contrary of these expectations over the years.
One of the points I disagree on is that being one of the boys will make you unattractive. Men who are more outdoorsy and adventurous love the women who can keep up with them at least a little on the trails and at the gym, and who won't complain about her hair and nails on camping trips. Some women also naturally have a feminine physique that no clothes can hide. I'm talking long legs, wide hips, small waist, large breasts. Men have x-ray vision and can spot those a mile away no matter what you're wearing. Many will also appreciate the woman who doesn't feel the need to flaunt or accentuate it to get their attention.
I still don't think I'm cut out for writing these books lol. My friend will have to pester me a little harder for another few years! 😂
One of the points I disagree on is that being one of the boys will make you unattractive. Men who are more outdoorsy and adventurous love the women who can keep up with them at least a little on the trails and at the gym, and who won't complain about her hair and nails on camping trips. Some women also naturally have a feminine physique that no clothes can hide. I'm talking long legs, wide hips, small waist, large breasts. Men have x-ray vision and can spot those a mile away no matter what you're wearing. Many will also appreciate the woman who doesn't feel the need to flaunt or accentuate it to get their attention.
I still don't think I'm cut out for writing these books lol. My friend will have to pester me a little harder for another few years! 😂
March 6, 2017
I can't believe I turned to a book on dating for help, but there it is. After my last four (count 'em, FOUR) dates ended with me driving away in tears, I decided I needed to do something differently.
And boy, am I glad one of those differentlies was reading Never Chase Men Again. It was a forthright reminder of what men are truly like, how they view women, and why they may or may not pursue long-term relationships with the women they date. On a professional level, Bryans' advice will help me create more realistic characters. On a personal level, his advice will help me avoid another unfortunate date. Here's hoping, anyway!
And boy, am I glad one of those differentlies was reading Never Chase Men Again. It was a forthright reminder of what men are truly like, how they view women, and why they may or may not pursue long-term relationships with the women they date. On a professional level, Bryans' advice will help me create more realistic characters. On a personal level, his advice will help me avoid another unfortunate date. Here's hoping, anyway!
December 27, 2021
He’s got quite the franchise going, doesn’t he?
Listen, I read this to see what a guy would have to say. Some male brain insight. For the hell of it.
While there are tidbits that should be universal (value yourself, have boundaries, etc) he’s basically telling you exactly how to act as a woman, so that a guy will commit— right down to how to dress.
Basically, he’s telling you to be perfect.
No. Heck, Steve Harvey’s book is less offensive.
How about men are taught how to catch us? Hmm? Without being players.
I have an idea: be yourself.
Listen, I read this to see what a guy would have to say. Some male brain insight. For the hell of it.
While there are tidbits that should be universal (value yourself, have boundaries, etc) he’s basically telling you exactly how to act as a woman, so that a guy will commit— right down to how to dress.
Basically, he’s telling you to be perfect.
No. Heck, Steve Harvey’s book is less offensive.
How about men are taught how to catch us? Hmm? Without being players.
I have an idea: be yourself.
October 29, 2019
“Read that last sentence again”
This book wasn’t earth shattering or revealing to me. It was a bunch old school thoughts but some things he said did have value. Most of the book I was just irritated as how the woman “should” convey herself. But easy read I guess
This book wasn’t earth shattering or revealing to me. It was a bunch old school thoughts but some things he said did have value. Most of the book I was just irritated as how the woman “should” convey herself. But easy read I guess
October 6, 2018
Great Book!
I really like this Author and how he breaks down his theories on dating. In reading this book I realized that I’ve been doing almost EVERYTHING wrong lol. Thanks to Bruce I’m well on my way to a much healthier dating life which will lead me to marrying Mr. Right. Highly Recommend!
I really like this Author and how he breaks down his theories on dating. In reading this book I realized that I’ve been doing almost EVERYTHING wrong lol. Thanks to Bruce I’m well on my way to a much healthier dating life which will lead me to marrying Mr. Right. Highly Recommend!
January 21, 2023
A book that feels like Mike Chadway from The Ugly Truth (the movie) yelling at you... Giving you relationship advice.
good if you want to play games. (or maybe i'm just too old for this :/)
good if you want to play games. (or maybe i'm just too old for this :/)
September 2, 2016
Good dating secrets.
Great advice, tips, and secrets. I did learn a lot reading this book. It a little hard for me to put it down.
Great advice, tips, and secrets. I did learn a lot reading this book. It a little hard for me to put it down.
September 27, 2023
Self-respect and a set of guidelines will help you even when you don’t have experience
Big initial demands don’t make you a prize, they make you pretentious
Use early investment and vulnerability as a test: if he grows with you, he’s a keeper
Bruce Bryans says a woman needs a few things:
Self-respect
A set of guidelines for rational decisions
Strong boundaries
Strong personal boundaries are not romance or man-centered but principle-centered (Ray Dalio recommends the same concept for success in life).
The author says women can get confused about whether they should “play games” or not.
And he spells it clear for the reader: while withdrawing as a tactic can work, her actions are not based on self-respect. High-quality men DO NOT pursue women who fake disinterest and play games: they respect women with no tolerance for manipulation and time wasting.
When you value your self-respect more than the feeling of being liked by any given man, you will have no need for games anymore.
Reinforce His Attraction & Train Him to Chase You
Bruce Bryan suggests that you:
Are Not Too Available at the Beginning
Being a challenge will keep his interest, but also serve to separate the lazy men who don’t pursue- from the ambitious ones. And if he doesn’t pursue, he’s just not that into you.
Note:
I disagree here, some cool guys will also stop pursuing if you don’t give enough.
Lots of losers will keep chasing instead because they have time and don’t know any better.
Don’t Play Hard to Get but Be Hard to Get
Bruce Bryan underlines that you should not play hard to get, but you should be hard to get.
You should have an exciting and attractive life and be happy and content with your own life.
That’s the kind of woman men want to meet.
Keep Your Life and Hobbies
And since you are content with your life, you don’t give up your hobbies, family, and dreams the moment you meet a guy (similar suggestion to Why Men Love Bitches).
Prioritize Calls VS texting
Bryan says texting is the players’ medium.
If you want a man to take you seriously and if you want to screen out players, you should let him call you. If he refuses to call it’s because he wants to keep it casual and he’s not a serious prospect.
Don’t Flake
Bryan says that when you fail to show up you communicate unreliability. And high-quality men want women they can count on.
Take Responsibility
You know those people who always blame circumstances and it’s never their responsibility?
That’s typical of low-value women.
Take responsibility and ownership of your life instead, suggests the author.
Restrain Your Affection
Before he has shown his part, show restraint when displaying your feelings for him.
Bruce says that the key to a successful seduction is a mutual level of interest (and you will know based on his enthusiasm for you).
Show Flexibility (and easy-to please)
Bruce says you should be hard to have but easy to please.
He says you show it in those situations where, if you just were a bit more flexible, he would find you more pleasant to be around. Men know that adaptable women make for better long-term companions. The only men who will tolerate inflexibility are the pushovers kind of men.
Don’t Be Too Assertive
Bruce Bryan doesn’t state it this clearly but says that the kind of men you want to end up with will not find overly assertive women to be very attractive.
Submissive women VS strong women
How to be more feminine
Why career women fail at dating (and how to fix it)
Show Vulnerability
The author says that for a long-term solid relationship, you need an intimate and emotional connection. And to connect, you need to be vulnerable (check Brene Brown for more on vulnerability).
Laugh at yourself, admit your mistakes, and ask forgiveness when you make a mistake.
These are all extremely endearing and will build a strong emotional connection.
And don’t worry about sounding weak, a masculine man is attracted to a feminine spirit.
Show Your Love When The Time Comes
Bryan says that most men value emotional intimacy.
When he has proven his worth, it’s time to start escalating the emotional attachment.
Show major appreciation whenever he does something good for you or for the two of you.
And use your female tenderness to show your love proactively.
If he responds in kind, keep him. Otherwise, next to him.
Don’t Confuse Great With Right
Bryan says a man could be great, but he might not be good for you because he won’t or can’t give you commitment. Always assess the potential of a man both on quality AND compatibility.
Set High Standards and Enforce Boundaries
Some nice girls will be accommodating hoping he will be the same, says the author.
When he isn’t though she turns into a passive-aggressive and emotional manipulator and the relationship becomes a combative one. He says women should be assertive in asking for what they want and need from the beginning instead.
Give Him The Joy of Conquest
If everything is too easy and obvious, he will feel like he’s slowly edging closer to filling the husband’s job position. That’s boring for him. Make him feel like’s slowly winning you over with effort instead. A man’s actions tell him what’s important to him, and when his action show effort, he will rationalize you must mean a lot to him.
Don’t Nag For a Change
Bryan says that if you want to change something in a relationship you never nag.
First, you have a conversation, and if nothing changes, then you withdraw. Make him anxious a bit and let him miss you.
Don’t Be Exclusive With a Guy Who Isn’t Exclusive
If a guy is keeping his options open, you do the same.
And never fall for the old one of “commitment problems”. That only means he’s waiting for someone else.
Don’t Give It Up Too Easily
Bryan says that before sex you have all the power, but after sex, you have very little.
He says when sex happens too easily and too quickly most men are less likely to stick around.
The rule of thumb is that the more significant his investment before sex, the more likely it is you will keep him around for the longer term.
He recommends you watch this video (which I personally didn’t find that good TBH):
Increase Your Self Respect
Bryan says that you should never allow a man’s mixed signal or aloofness to become the cue for you to chase him.
Because the more you do it, the more ingrained it becomes, and that’s how you build (bad) habits.
Conversely, walk away from every bad situation and you will make further investments in your self-respect.
The more you do it, the more your self-confidence will increase
Communicate High-Value and Be the Woman Men Adore
I had no further doubts that Never Chase Men Again was the best women’s dating book I had read when I got to this:
Stay Positive as You Keep Searching
The author says that if you allow a bad dating experience or a breakup to infect your mood you risk becoming bitter towards men.
And that’s a very unattractive trait for high-quality men.
Be Graceful In Communication
Bryan says high-quality men want women with high emotional intelligence.
That means they want women who can express themselves respectfully and without emasculating them.
It’s important for men because they need respect as much as women need love
Embrace your inner vixen
Bruce says high-value men don’t want cute girls, they want mature and confident women.
Act and carry yourself confidently and like you know your own value.
Don’t Demand Too Much Too Early
The author nails another big one when he says high-quality men have little tolerance for egocentric women. Asking him to do X or Y for you will not make you a prize, but a spoiled high-maintenance girl (and a low-quality woman, I’d add).
Bruce says it’s fair and good you expect exceptional treatment, but big early requests reek of entitlement.
Smart men will know how to treat you based on what you show and how they like you, you will only turn them off by asking for it.
Humility speaks louder than entitlement and unpretentious goes further than self-important.
Guard Your Reputation
Robert Greene in the 48 Laws of Power says reputation is everything.
Bruce says your reputation in dating is also important.
Make sure you don’t build a negative reputation for dating losers.
Don’t Move In… If You Wanna Get Married
Bryan says that moving in for men is like doing a car test drive or simply a way to postpone… Indefinitely.
For women instead, it’s a step closer to the final commitment.
But when you hit a snag, men will be less likely to want to work it out compared to if they were married. There’s just less pressure, either social or financial.
Be The Mountaintop, Not The Stepping Stone
Bruce has a super interesting view on being with men who “need your help” or “need a woman’s touch”. The issue is that often these men will then move on to another woman once they fully bloom or once they don’t need your help anymore.
Breakup if No Progression
The author suggests that first of all, you make sure he knows you want a marriage.
Then feel free to apply pressure if you think he won’t budge.
If the relationship is still not progressing the way you want, you should break by making sure he knows why. If he wants you, it’s possible he’ll come back giving you what you wanted. Only accept him if he shows proof of moving forward.
Date With Purpose
Don’t get distracted or sidetracked: know what you want and don’t settle for less.
Don’t Be One Of The Boys
Bruce Bryans says you shouldn’t be like one of his male friends with him. It will kill his attraction.
Believe You Deserve His Unconditional Love
The author says most mistakes come from self-sabotage.
When the woman doesn’t believe in her own value and doesn’t believe she deserves his unconditional love.
Final Thoughts
To avoid time wasters, the author says, you should approach dating with an almost ruthless inclination.
Filter in quickly the good prospects, and cut off the bad ones.
To quickly spot the good ones, show your vulnerabilities, and proactively increase his emotional investment and attachment in you.
If you realize that your steps are not reciprocated, move on.
Finally, focus on becoming a great catch yourself, stay true to your standards and boundaries (remember: the more you respect them, the higher your self-esteem!), and… Enjoy the process.
Real-Life Applications
Don’t Move In… If You Want Marriage
I liked the idea you better not move in if you want marriage. Women see it as a step closer, men see it as postponement -and as an easy way out if they don’t fully like it-.
Don’t Be Overpowering
Let him lead, and tone down your assertiveness if it can get too much
Stay a Woman
Never become one of the boys. You can be his friend alongside his lover. Just not his beer-drinking, football-watching, burping friend.
Don’t Get Bitter!!
Watch out for books and gurus telling you “it’s time to get some revenge on the boys”. That’s the perfect mindset NOT to get a high-value man (and a good relationship, of course).
Invest… And Watch
Do open up and escalate investment on both sides. Then watch. Does he reciprocate? That will tell you whether you can keep growing together or if you need to move on
Never be too accessible. Before a serious relationship develops, do not allow yourself to be too available to a man as men quickly tire of that which is easily obtained.
Be cautious in how you keep in touch with a man. Do not dominate the initiations of contact if you want to keep his interest in you both elevated and unmistakable.
Prioritize phone calls over texting.
Don’t be a flake.
Do not speak ill of your exes, especially if you are getting to know a guy.
Never risk self-respect by trying to force a man to take an interest in you. It is better to disregard a man who displays a wavering interest than to lose both your dignity and sanity fighting for his attention.
Before a man has judged you as a ‘worthy pursuit’ in his mind, it is wise to show restraint in displaying your infatuation.
Show flexibility and be easy-to-please.
Be willing to show your vulnerable side.
Once a man proves to be worth your love, cease any timidity in showing it by concentrating your efforts on escalating his emotional attachments to you.
Do not confuse a great guy with the right guy. A man might be an irresistible catch and yet he may still not be ready or willing to give you the commitment you want. Appraise the men you date based on both their inner qualities and the compatibility of your commitment goals.
Do not diminish the value of your love by lavishing it freely upon a mere casual suitor. Female devotion, when a man has not yet earned it, is not perceived as “devotedness” in his eyes….it is seen as desperation.
Set your standards high and be willing to assert yourself and defend your personal boundaries with the men you date.
Never sacrifice your deepest passions in life just to keep a man interested in you.
Do not tolerate men who feel the need to conceal you from world.
Do not rob a man of the opportunity to be captivated by you because of your determination to attain a commitment.
Do not allow a man’s love for you to stagnate because of your own unawareness or complacency. Use the possibility of your absence in his life to stir a man to action when his desire is weakening.
Never act exclusive with a guy who’s still looking to keep his options open. If his attitude towards commitment seems cavalier…carry your business elsewhere.
Do not fall into the trap of believing men when they tell you they have “commitment problems”.
Ensure that you accept how men actually are when it comes to sex rather than how you wish men were. Base your expectations in reality then adapt your dating strategy.
Allow your attraction to male behavior to mature so that a man’s aloofness while it may excite you, does not train you to chase him.
Stay positive as you search for the right suitor.
Be graceful when communicating with men. The masculine heart is helpless in the presence of a woman whose language is tender and respectful.
Embrace your inner vixen.
Do not become complacent with your appearance after you have attained an exclusive relationship.
Do not verbalize your insecurities in such a way that its sabotages a man’s perception of you.
Resist the urge to seek constant and excessive approval of a man’s loyalty, especially after he has already committed to you.
High-quality men have low tolerance for seemingly manipulative and/or egocentric women. Resist the urge to communicate your courtship expectations of a man prematurely.
Deserve what you want. Pursue feminine sophistication and refine both your character and personality to become a woman of higher value.
Resolve to be a woman who only dates men of higher quality, as a reputation for dating dissolute men can come back to haunt you.
Demonstrate high-value when you respond to his invitation to date casually. Never let a man’s rejection, whether of you or a relationship, cause you to lose your poise and power.
Do not move in with a man.
Do not date a married man.
Be a man’s ‘mountain’ not his ‘stepping –stone’.
Date with a clear purpose in mind.
Guys who dump you should no longer exist.
Do not try to be “one of the guys”. Learn to make friends with women and resist adopting masculine tendencies.
Date as if you believe, without a shadow of doubt, that you truly deserve a man’s unconditional love. You must believe and therefore act like you are a prize worth pursuing by a high-quality man.
Fast summary
- men like women with strong personal boundaries
- & those not interested in wasting time
- Never be too accessible or obtainable
- Present urself as a challenge
- Dont lead interactions- let him miss u
- Hint at what u want, if he doesnt pick up on it be direct
- Follow thru with things
- Dont talk about exes
- Dont play the victim
- -dont force /nag them to like u, just withdraw
- restrain ur infatuation in the beginning
- Mutual interest= his eagerness , enthusiasm to b with u, his initiative to contact u (sincere & consistent attempts)
- be hard to have but easy to please
- Escalate their emotional interest: be receptive and appreciate his vulnerability and thoughtfulness , intice him with female tenderness (love languages)
- Dont give ur all to men u date
- Be tru to ur values & standards
- If he doesnt wanna show u off& introduce u to loved ones leave
- DOnt just hang out at home dates
- Seduce them to a relationship, flirty & enchanting, market ur substance,
- Dont let them stagnate after exclusivity, withdraw and make him anxious if he doesnt change after communicating
- Hot > cute
- Be graceful with communicating- dont emasculate
- Dont communicate expectations prematurely- ‘i like it when im treated with nice things’
- Unpretentious > self-important
- Dont talk about ur weaknesses/flaws
- If a guy says ‘Im not looking for a relationship’ -> haha dont worry im mot asking u to marry me ;)
- Men have a ‘we must make this work mindset’
- Dont move in w him until marriage
- Dont date married men
- If ur supporting a man but the relationship isnt progressing, ur his stepping stone
- Avoid:: fixer uppers, deadbeats, no jobs, w addictions, mama boys, lazy slobs, no hygiene
- date for marriage, not just bf, work on self so u dont come from neediness
- Dont be ‘one of the guys’
- actions>words
- Interact with men as if u r a prize to be won and worth unconditional love
- They’ll constantly test u and ur boundaries
- Doesnt walk on eggshells around him in fear of being let go
- doesnt make excuses for his behavior
- Doesnt lose sleep over a man that doesn’t want her
- Doesnt confuse emotional drama with being in love
- Doesnt settle
- doesnt waste energy wondering why he’s treating me this way
- Doesnt chase
- Doesnt get w men whom she never knows where she stands
- Forthright about what she wants
- Doesn’t resent herself
- Works hard on herself
A woman should be warm, nurturing and easy to get along with, and rebuff male behavior that threatens her dignity
Do this to avoid wasting time after some dates
- vulnerable w him
- Gentleness and affection
- Relax in femininity
- enjoy the courtship
- Receptive to his leadership
- Proactive about increasing his emotional attachment to u
- If theyre not being reciprocated leave
Become high quality and uphold ur standards & boundaries
Dont waste ur time, energy, sacrifice (all non refundable)
Every undeserving man u walk away from strengthens u
Big initial demands don’t make you a prize, they make you pretentious
Use early investment and vulnerability as a test: if he grows with you, he’s a keeper
Bruce Bryans says a woman needs a few things:
Self-respect
A set of guidelines for rational decisions
Strong boundaries
Strong personal boundaries are not romance or man-centered but principle-centered (Ray Dalio recommends the same concept for success in life).
The author says women can get confused about whether they should “play games” or not.
And he spells it clear for the reader: while withdrawing as a tactic can work, her actions are not based on self-respect. High-quality men DO NOT pursue women who fake disinterest and play games: they respect women with no tolerance for manipulation and time wasting.
When you value your self-respect more than the feeling of being liked by any given man, you will have no need for games anymore.
Reinforce His Attraction & Train Him to Chase You
Bruce Bryan suggests that you:
Are Not Too Available at the Beginning
Being a challenge will keep his interest, but also serve to separate the lazy men who don’t pursue- from the ambitious ones. And if he doesn’t pursue, he’s just not that into you.
Note:
I disagree here, some cool guys will also stop pursuing if you don’t give enough.
Lots of losers will keep chasing instead because they have time and don’t know any better.
Don’t Play Hard to Get but Be Hard to Get
Bruce Bryan underlines that you should not play hard to get, but you should be hard to get.
You should have an exciting and attractive life and be happy and content with your own life.
That’s the kind of woman men want to meet.
Keep Your Life and Hobbies
And since you are content with your life, you don’t give up your hobbies, family, and dreams the moment you meet a guy (similar suggestion to Why Men Love Bitches).
Prioritize Calls VS texting
Bryan says texting is the players’ medium.
If you want a man to take you seriously and if you want to screen out players, you should let him call you. If he refuses to call it’s because he wants to keep it casual and he’s not a serious prospect.
Don’t Flake
Bryan says that when you fail to show up you communicate unreliability. And high-quality men want women they can count on.
Take Responsibility
You know those people who always blame circumstances and it’s never their responsibility?
That’s typical of low-value women.
Take responsibility and ownership of your life instead, suggests the author.
Restrain Your Affection
Before he has shown his part, show restraint when displaying your feelings for him.
Bruce says that the key to a successful seduction is a mutual level of interest (and you will know based on his enthusiasm for you).
Show Flexibility (and easy-to please)
Bruce says you should be hard to have but easy to please.
He says you show it in those situations where, if you just were a bit more flexible, he would find you more pleasant to be around. Men know that adaptable women make for better long-term companions. The only men who will tolerate inflexibility are the pushovers kind of men.
Don’t Be Too Assertive
Bruce Bryan doesn’t state it this clearly but says that the kind of men you want to end up with will not find overly assertive women to be very attractive.
Submissive women VS strong women
How to be more feminine
Why career women fail at dating (and how to fix it)
Show Vulnerability
The author says that for a long-term solid relationship, you need an intimate and emotional connection. And to connect, you need to be vulnerable (check Brene Brown for more on vulnerability).
Laugh at yourself, admit your mistakes, and ask forgiveness when you make a mistake.
These are all extremely endearing and will build a strong emotional connection.
And don’t worry about sounding weak, a masculine man is attracted to a feminine spirit.
Show Your Love When The Time Comes
Bryan says that most men value emotional intimacy.
When he has proven his worth, it’s time to start escalating the emotional attachment.
Show major appreciation whenever he does something good for you or for the two of you.
And use your female tenderness to show your love proactively.
If he responds in kind, keep him. Otherwise, next to him.
Don’t Confuse Great With Right
Bryan says a man could be great, but he might not be good for you because he won’t or can’t give you commitment. Always assess the potential of a man both on quality AND compatibility.
Set High Standards and Enforce Boundaries
Some nice girls will be accommodating hoping he will be the same, says the author.
When he isn’t though she turns into a passive-aggressive and emotional manipulator and the relationship becomes a combative one. He says women should be assertive in asking for what they want and need from the beginning instead.
Give Him The Joy of Conquest
If everything is too easy and obvious, he will feel like he’s slowly edging closer to filling the husband’s job position. That’s boring for him. Make him feel like’s slowly winning you over with effort instead. A man’s actions tell him what’s important to him, and when his action show effort, he will rationalize you must mean a lot to him.
Don’t Nag For a Change
Bryan says that if you want to change something in a relationship you never nag.
First, you have a conversation, and if nothing changes, then you withdraw. Make him anxious a bit and let him miss you.
Don’t Be Exclusive With a Guy Who Isn’t Exclusive
If a guy is keeping his options open, you do the same.
And never fall for the old one of “commitment problems”. That only means he’s waiting for someone else.
Don’t Give It Up Too Easily
Bryan says that before sex you have all the power, but after sex, you have very little.
He says when sex happens too easily and too quickly most men are less likely to stick around.
The rule of thumb is that the more significant his investment before sex, the more likely it is you will keep him around for the longer term.
He recommends you watch this video (which I personally didn’t find that good TBH):
Increase Your Self Respect
Bryan says that you should never allow a man’s mixed signal or aloofness to become the cue for you to chase him.
Because the more you do it, the more ingrained it becomes, and that’s how you build (bad) habits.
Conversely, walk away from every bad situation and you will make further investments in your self-respect.
The more you do it, the more your self-confidence will increase
Communicate High-Value and Be the Woman Men Adore
I had no further doubts that Never Chase Men Again was the best women’s dating book I had read when I got to this:
Stay Positive as You Keep Searching
The author says that if you allow a bad dating experience or a breakup to infect your mood you risk becoming bitter towards men.
And that’s a very unattractive trait for high-quality men.
Be Graceful In Communication
Bryan says high-quality men want women with high emotional intelligence.
That means they want women who can express themselves respectfully and without emasculating them.
It’s important for men because they need respect as much as women need love
Embrace your inner vixen
Bruce says high-value men don’t want cute girls, they want mature and confident women.
Act and carry yourself confidently and like you know your own value.
Don’t Demand Too Much Too Early
The author nails another big one when he says high-quality men have little tolerance for egocentric women. Asking him to do X or Y for you will not make you a prize, but a spoiled high-maintenance girl (and a low-quality woman, I’d add).
Bruce says it’s fair and good you expect exceptional treatment, but big early requests reek of entitlement.
Smart men will know how to treat you based on what you show and how they like you, you will only turn them off by asking for it.
Humility speaks louder than entitlement and unpretentious goes further than self-important.
Guard Your Reputation
Robert Greene in the 48 Laws of Power says reputation is everything.
Bruce says your reputation in dating is also important.
Make sure you don’t build a negative reputation for dating losers.
Don’t Move In… If You Wanna Get Married
Bryan says that moving in for men is like doing a car test drive or simply a way to postpone… Indefinitely.
For women instead, it’s a step closer to the final commitment.
But when you hit a snag, men will be less likely to want to work it out compared to if they were married. There’s just less pressure, either social or financial.
Be The Mountaintop, Not The Stepping Stone
Bruce has a super interesting view on being with men who “need your help” or “need a woman’s touch”. The issue is that often these men will then move on to another woman once they fully bloom or once they don’t need your help anymore.
Breakup if No Progression
The author suggests that first of all, you make sure he knows you want a marriage.
Then feel free to apply pressure if you think he won’t budge.
If the relationship is still not progressing the way you want, you should break by making sure he knows why. If he wants you, it’s possible he’ll come back giving you what you wanted. Only accept him if he shows proof of moving forward.
Date With Purpose
Don’t get distracted or sidetracked: know what you want and don’t settle for less.
Don’t Be One Of The Boys
Bruce Bryans says you shouldn’t be like one of his male friends with him. It will kill his attraction.
Believe You Deserve His Unconditional Love
The author says most mistakes come from self-sabotage.
When the woman doesn’t believe in her own value and doesn’t believe she deserves his unconditional love.
Final Thoughts
To avoid time wasters, the author says, you should approach dating with an almost ruthless inclination.
Filter in quickly the good prospects, and cut off the bad ones.
To quickly spot the good ones, show your vulnerabilities, and proactively increase his emotional investment and attachment in you.
If you realize that your steps are not reciprocated, move on.
Finally, focus on becoming a great catch yourself, stay true to your standards and boundaries (remember: the more you respect them, the higher your self-esteem!), and… Enjoy the process.
Real-Life Applications
Don’t Move In… If You Want Marriage
I liked the idea you better not move in if you want marriage. Women see it as a step closer, men see it as postponement -and as an easy way out if they don’t fully like it-.
Don’t Be Overpowering
Let him lead, and tone down your assertiveness if it can get too much
Stay a Woman
Never become one of the boys. You can be his friend alongside his lover. Just not his beer-drinking, football-watching, burping friend.
Don’t Get Bitter!!
Watch out for books and gurus telling you “it’s time to get some revenge on the boys”. That’s the perfect mindset NOT to get a high-value man (and a good relationship, of course).
Invest… And Watch
Do open up and escalate investment on both sides. Then watch. Does he reciprocate? That will tell you whether you can keep growing together or if you need to move on
Never be too accessible. Before a serious relationship develops, do not allow yourself to be too available to a man as men quickly tire of that which is easily obtained.
Be cautious in how you keep in touch with a man. Do not dominate the initiations of contact if you want to keep his interest in you both elevated and unmistakable.
Prioritize phone calls over texting.
Don’t be a flake.
Do not speak ill of your exes, especially if you are getting to know a guy.
Never risk self-respect by trying to force a man to take an interest in you. It is better to disregard a man who displays a wavering interest than to lose both your dignity and sanity fighting for his attention.
Before a man has judged you as a ‘worthy pursuit’ in his mind, it is wise to show restraint in displaying your infatuation.
Show flexibility and be easy-to-please.
Be willing to show your vulnerable side.
Once a man proves to be worth your love, cease any timidity in showing it by concentrating your efforts on escalating his emotional attachments to you.
Do not confuse a great guy with the right guy. A man might be an irresistible catch and yet he may still not be ready or willing to give you the commitment you want. Appraise the men you date based on both their inner qualities and the compatibility of your commitment goals.
Do not diminish the value of your love by lavishing it freely upon a mere casual suitor. Female devotion, when a man has not yet earned it, is not perceived as “devotedness” in his eyes….it is seen as desperation.
Set your standards high and be willing to assert yourself and defend your personal boundaries with the men you date.
Never sacrifice your deepest passions in life just to keep a man interested in you.
Do not tolerate men who feel the need to conceal you from world.
Do not rob a man of the opportunity to be captivated by you because of your determination to attain a commitment.
Do not allow a man’s love for you to stagnate because of your own unawareness or complacency. Use the possibility of your absence in his life to stir a man to action when his desire is weakening.
Never act exclusive with a guy who’s still looking to keep his options open. If his attitude towards commitment seems cavalier…carry your business elsewhere.
Do not fall into the trap of believing men when they tell you they have “commitment problems”.
Ensure that you accept how men actually are when it comes to sex rather than how you wish men were. Base your expectations in reality then adapt your dating strategy.
Allow your attraction to male behavior to mature so that a man’s aloofness while it may excite you, does not train you to chase him.
Stay positive as you search for the right suitor.
Be graceful when communicating with men. The masculine heart is helpless in the presence of a woman whose language is tender and respectful.
Embrace your inner vixen.
Do not become complacent with your appearance after you have attained an exclusive relationship.
Do not verbalize your insecurities in such a way that its sabotages a man’s perception of you.
Resist the urge to seek constant and excessive approval of a man’s loyalty, especially after he has already committed to you.
High-quality men have low tolerance for seemingly manipulative and/or egocentric women. Resist the urge to communicate your courtship expectations of a man prematurely.
Deserve what you want. Pursue feminine sophistication and refine both your character and personality to become a woman of higher value.
Resolve to be a woman who only dates men of higher quality, as a reputation for dating dissolute men can come back to haunt you.
Demonstrate high-value when you respond to his invitation to date casually. Never let a man’s rejection, whether of you or a relationship, cause you to lose your poise and power.
Do not move in with a man.
Do not date a married man.
Be a man’s ‘mountain’ not his ‘stepping –stone’.
Date with a clear purpose in mind.
Guys who dump you should no longer exist.
Do not try to be “one of the guys”. Learn to make friends with women and resist adopting masculine tendencies.
Date as if you believe, without a shadow of doubt, that you truly deserve a man’s unconditional love. You must believe and therefore act like you are a prize worth pursuing by a high-quality man.
Fast summary
- men like women with strong personal boundaries
- & those not interested in wasting time
- Never be too accessible or obtainable
- Present urself as a challenge
- Dont lead interactions- let him miss u
- Hint at what u want, if he doesnt pick up on it be direct
- Follow thru with things
- Dont talk about exes
- Dont play the victim
- -dont force /nag them to like u, just withdraw
- restrain ur infatuation in the beginning
- Mutual interest= his eagerness , enthusiasm to b with u, his initiative to contact u (sincere & consistent attempts)
- be hard to have but easy to please
- Escalate their emotional interest: be receptive and appreciate his vulnerability and thoughtfulness , intice him with female tenderness (love languages)
- Dont give ur all to men u date
- Be tru to ur values & standards
- If he doesnt wanna show u off& introduce u to loved ones leave
- DOnt just hang out at home dates
- Seduce them to a relationship, flirty & enchanting, market ur substance,
- Dont let them stagnate after exclusivity, withdraw and make him anxious if he doesnt change after communicating
- Hot > cute
- Be graceful with communicating- dont emasculate
- Dont communicate expectations prematurely- ‘i like it when im treated with nice things’
- Unpretentious > self-important
- Dont talk about ur weaknesses/flaws
- If a guy says ‘Im not looking for a relationship’ -> haha dont worry im mot asking u to marry me ;)
- Men have a ‘we must make this work mindset’
- Dont move in w him until marriage
- Dont date married men
- If ur supporting a man but the relationship isnt progressing, ur his stepping stone
- Avoid:: fixer uppers, deadbeats, no jobs, w addictions, mama boys, lazy slobs, no hygiene
- date for marriage, not just bf, work on self so u dont come from neediness
- Dont be ‘one of the guys’
- actions>words
- Interact with men as if u r a prize to be won and worth unconditional love
- They’ll constantly test u and ur boundaries
- Doesnt walk on eggshells around him in fear of being let go
- doesnt make excuses for his behavior
- Doesnt lose sleep over a man that doesn’t want her
- Doesnt confuse emotional drama with being in love
- Doesnt settle
- doesnt waste energy wondering why he’s treating me this way
- Doesnt chase
- Doesnt get w men whom she never knows where she stands
- Forthright about what she wants
- Doesn’t resent herself
- Works hard on herself
A woman should be warm, nurturing and easy to get along with, and rebuff male behavior that threatens her dignity
Do this to avoid wasting time after some dates
- vulnerable w him
- Gentleness and affection
- Relax in femininity
- enjoy the courtship
- Receptive to his leadership
- Proactive about increasing his emotional attachment to u
- If theyre not being reciprocated leave
Become high quality and uphold ur standards & boundaries
Dont waste ur time, energy, sacrifice (all non refundable)
Every undeserving man u walk away from strengthens u
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 12, 2024
Friend recommended this audiobook to me, so here are some key pointers and my opinions!
* Mr. Right is Mr. Commitment-Compatible. (Choose someone who wants the same commitments you do- whether religion, hobbies, communication styles/love languages)
* Be a challenge for a man. Have an exciting lifestyle he wants to become a part of rather than fix or save you from.
* Add value to his life! It’s not a contradiction when men say they want a challenge, but they don’t want a women who plays games. Women, high standards is a must!
* Rejection and bad timing is all part of the dating process. Do not do anything irrational at this time, i.e cut your hair, change your opinion of men, etc. (I’m very guilty of this one ☝️)
* In arguments, let the man problem solve while you explain why you were mad. You’re in your feminine state, and he as a man must be in his- gentle-masculine state and fix the issue efficiently for you. Remember, it’s not you vs. him, it’s you guys vs. the problem!
* Don’t date a married man (this one is obvious) but he explains in further detail how complicated it can get.
🚨 Disclaimer: y’all don’t have to agree with all these points. God only knows that I didn’t agree with some key points with this book (like the moving in fiasco) but these were some pointers I gathered that I think are pretty useful.
I gave this a three star because I heard the audiobook and his voice sounded AI and unnatural; I didn’t really like it. The substance itself was good seeing as it’s from a man’s perspective.
* Mr. Right is Mr. Commitment-Compatible. (Choose someone who wants the same commitments you do- whether religion, hobbies, communication styles/love languages)
* Be a challenge for a man. Have an exciting lifestyle he wants to become a part of rather than fix or save you from.
* Add value to his life! It’s not a contradiction when men say they want a challenge, but they don’t want a women who plays games. Women, high standards is a must!
* Rejection and bad timing is all part of the dating process. Do not do anything irrational at this time, i.e cut your hair, change your opinion of men, etc. (I’m very guilty of this one ☝️)
* In arguments, let the man problem solve while you explain why you were mad. You’re in your feminine state, and he as a man must be in his- gentle-masculine state and fix the issue efficiently for you. Remember, it’s not you vs. him, it’s you guys vs. the problem!
* Don’t date a married man (this one is obvious) but he explains in further detail how complicated it can get.
🚨 Disclaimer: y’all don’t have to agree with all these points. God only knows that I didn’t agree with some key points with this book (like the moving in fiasco) but these were some pointers I gathered that I think are pretty useful.
I gave this a three star because I heard the audiobook and his voice sounded AI and unnatural; I didn’t really like it. The substance itself was good seeing as it’s from a man’s perspective.
May 13, 2021
Good insights and tips
January 12, 2025
Misogynistic garbage.
October 7, 2025
Muchos puntos lógicos pero buenos
December 16, 2025
Patiko siulau paskaityt
Read
January 12, 2022I give it a thumb up 👍🏻
July 30, 2022
Consejos básicos para cuando buscas pareja 💑
February 9, 2025
It’s full of gems like “be vulnerable, but not too vulnerable,” “dress sexy, but not too sexy,” and “show interest, but not too much.”
The best part? The book basically says if we don’t care about men, they’ll magically start caring about us. Weird logic, but whatever. Seems like if you show any interest, they vanish. So yeah, the real secret is: don’t care at all, live your life, and somehow, that’ll get you a man. Makes perfect sense…
The best part? The book basically says if we don’t care about men, they’ll magically start caring about us. Weird logic, but whatever. Seems like if you show any interest, they vanish. So yeah, the real secret is: don’t care at all, live your life, and somehow, that’ll get you a man. Makes perfect sense…
September 28, 2024
The first red flag was the "high-quality man" was this book written by a podcast bro?
Don't waste your time ladies.
Don't waste your time ladies.
March 9, 2024
What out of touch male dribble. This makes me want to do all of the things he says not to do just to keep these idiots away from me. This had to be written 1,000 years ago, what an ego this guy has. No thank you
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