I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope

by Chessy Prout, Jenn Abelson (Contributor)

"A bold, new voice." --People
"A nuanced addition to the #MeToo conversation." --Vice

A young survivor tells her searing, visceral story of sexual assault, justice, and healing in this gutwrenching memoir.

The numbers are nearly one in five girls ages fourteen to seventeen have been the victim of a sexual assault or attempted sexual assault. This is the true story of one of those girls.

In 2014, Chessy Prout was a freshman at St. Paul's School, a prestigious boarding school in New Hampshire, when a senior boy sexually assaulted her as part of a ritualized game of conquest. Chessy bravely reported her assault to the police and testified against her attacker in court. Then, in the face of unexpected backlash from her once-trusted school community, she shed her anonymity to help other survivors find their voice.

This memoir is more than an account of a horrific event. It takes a magnifying glass to the institutions that turn a blind eye to such behavior and a society that blames victims rather than perpetrators. Chessy's story offers real, powerful solutions to upend rape culture as we know it today. Prepare to be inspired by this remarkable young woman and her story of survival, advocacy, and hope in the face of unspeakable trauma.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Feminism, Biography, Audiobook, True Crime, Biography Memoir

416 pages, Hardcover

First published March 6, 2018

About the author

Chessy Prout is a high school sexual assault survivor. Raised in Japan, Chessy matriculated to St. Paul’s School—a boarding school in New Hampshire, where her father and sister attended. There, as a freshman, Chessy was the victim of a sexual assault. Chessy’s case and eventual trial garnered national and international media attention, as her assault was part of a ritual competition at the school called the “Senior Salute.” Two years later, in Chessy’s pursuit for justice, she decided to step forward publicly in August 2016 and launched the #IHaveTheRightTo initiative with the organization PAVE, for which she is an ambassador. In this initiative Chessy encourages survivors and others to assert their most important, basic rights, and uses her voice to let other survivors know that you are not alone.

Reviews

[Sophie Pesek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Chessy,

I hope you read this review.

You probably don't know me, but I was at St. Paul's when these events occurred. I was in the grade above, but I was completely oblivious to the pressures and dynamics of the SPS social hierarchy. Instead, I immersed myself in books and friends that were just as nerdy as I and wondered what the hullabaloo was about. I thought that if I wasn't involved in the social scene, I wasn't to blame. I was wrong.

Chessy, your story made me cry as I read it and for hours after. Words cannot capture the horror of the events you experienced/are experiencing from the aftermath of this assault. Although the actions of Owen and several other individuals are inexcusable, some of the greatest injustices happened at the hands of people who were misguided or simply complacent.

Your words here are measured and rational, but your story is filled with passion and ferocity. I have watched your interviews and been struck with the strength and composure you exhibit, even when talking about moments that have scarred you and battles that you still need to fight every day. Your story allowed me a tiny but honest glimpse into your mind- and the reality you have been forced to live out is almost unimaginable. The experiences you describe are a reminder that each individual could be dealing with life-altering circumstances, no matter how brave the face they put on.

It was once easy to compartmentalize your experience as merely a disturbing story in a number of possible journeys at St. Paul's. When asked about the school, the first question is usually, "Is that the rape school?" and the second is, "How was it?" I used to respond that, although there are certainly parts of the culture that need changing, my experience was extremely positive because I didn't directly deal with the consequences of this culture. I now realize the delusion in that statement.

So long as even a single member of a community does not feel safe and respected, change is essential. Although individuals who perpetuate a toxic culture should be held accountable, the responsibility to facilitate change lies also with the community members who recognize the need for growth. I felt safe and comfortable at St. Paul's- it was my duty to give credence and a voice to you and others who had been silenced.

Chessy, I am sorry that I never reached out and told you how much your bravery meant. I'm sorry I never took the time to understand how truly courageous your actions were and continue to be. And I'm sorry that I didn't speak out, act out, or shout when I saw how you were treated.

Your decision to share the story of your struggles will impact countless people. For me, the impact has been powerful. I will no longer stand by so long as I see injustice. I refuse to remain numb to and complicit in toxic norms. Unlike with rape, here silence is implicit consent for this culture to continue. Chessy, I will do everything in my power to prevent this from ever happening to anyone again. I promise to live out your words until every person who feels powerless can proudly say, #IHaveARightTo

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chessy Prout was raped when she was 15. In this memoir she tells her story of what was going on before and after becoming a survivor.

Throughout much of the memoir you can almost grasp Chessy’s confusion after she was raped, and it is heart-breaking how she tries to come to terms with what had happened, how she doubted herself, felt bad but was not able to call what had happened to her rape, because she had had no sexual experience up to that point. Chessy was a virgin when it happened to her, her perpetrator had stolen that from her. For some this might appear irrelevant, but it isn’t in more than one way. The perpetrator’s legal counsel tried to depict Chessy as a slut, later on also as mentally unstable. The school St. Paul’s tried the same stunt. We are talking about a young girl who has had no sexual experience and who had been sexually assaulted. And the reaction of the school, which should be interested in protecting students, is to try to slander the survivor and her family.
It was heart-breaking to read how this affected her, and also to see how alleged friends and their families turned their backs on Chessy. Reading how other students tried to apologize the rape, tried to shame Chessy and make her feel guilty to protect the perpetrator was awful. But it is reality. This is not a made up story.

The long way through this ordeal is what you find in this book.

At first, I did not like the long passages about Chessy's life before the attack. Later on, it turned out to be more of an asset. It made sense, the contrast created in this way makes all that happened even more distressing.
If you want a book about real events, showing what a young girl has to go through before finally finding some kind of justice, this is it. It is a title that made me very sad while reading, but Chessy Prout and her family set an example by not giving up, and fighting on against institutions and people who are primarily interested in saving a perpetrators and a school’s reputation and future.
5 out of 5 stars

[Dan Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a dad to girls, it’s a tough read due to the subject matter but also very important. It’s raw and much more than “here’s what happened to me.” Chessy’s voice as a teen survivor is one of hope, while filled with honesty about the pain and challenges she faced through every aspect of the process. Given it’s tough content, I think it’s important for parents of pre-teens or younger teens to read it first or along with their children. For teens, I think Chessy’s courage and the way she frames the issue is well done — especially that she points out that there’s no such thing as a “perfect survivor.”

I hope school administrators, parents, teachers, policy makers and young people all read this book. It’s also something that our young men need to read so that they understand the consequences of their actions on the lives of others.

[Kimberly Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chessy Prout shares the emotionally shattering trauma she experienced at age 15. She was raped while attending a prestigious boarding school. The school’s denial, lack of support for her as a victim, and toxic ‘boys club’ culture was as traumatizing to her as the rape itself.

This young girl shares her courageous journey as a rape survivor. Her decision to press charges and go to trial surely sparked much needed change in schools and universities. The #MeToo movement had not yet gained full steam at this time. Chessy’s hard won personal transformation is empowering, as she now works on behalf of others as a speaker, advocate, and writer working for the prevention of sexual assault. She educates and empowers young girls to know their value and rights. Highly readable book on an important subject.

[Dr. Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS BOOK ENOUGH!! THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD!!

I am absolutely empowered, inspired and just amazed by Chessy Prout. This girl has strength and nerve to do what she did and I literally want to walk out of my door and start a PAVE chapter at UIUC plus an #IHaveARightTo movement. This book was just everything.

Chessy had so many good points in her story and I think it's so powerful because of that. I cannot wait to go out and buy a copy of this book plus all the others like it. Chessy's story is not a fun story, it is full of grief, anger, depression and many other emotions, but God did it resonate. I am not a survivor of sexual assault, but I am an advocate to any and all survivors. Parts of this book had me in tears because of the unfairness and how Chessy felt. This is such an emotionally traumatic journey she went through and it's amazing she spoke out on TV and wrote a book about it. I can't imagine how hard that was for her. At the same time, I am so glad she did since she gave a voice to countless girls and boys who couldn't speak up.

I do not have enough praise for this book. We need more girls and boys like Chessy, Angela Rose, Delaney and Ann Custer. Those willing to stand up and speak out about what has happened to them.

My message to any survivors: IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT and YOU ARE NOT ALONE, please know that there are many places out there that will give you options and support no matter your situation. I, for one, would lend a listening ear to any survivors who would want to talk.

[Ally Wiegand · Rating 5 out of 5]

As women, we have the right to be happy. We have the right to an equal, fulfilling life. We have the right to speak up when wrong has been done against us. We have the right to say something when we have been sexually assaulted. The culture that exists now is not OK. Men feel they have the right to a woman's body, a right they do not have. This culture continues to exist through certain parts of society continuing to reinforce the its twisted ideals. This culture tell boys and men that when they do something wrong, it's OK. But it's not. It needs to change. WE need to change. We all need to become a part of the conversation and that happens by one person coming forward to spark it.

I praise Chessy Prout for writing such a heartbreaking novel. She puts every emotion out there and she tells her story from start to finish unapologetically. I found myself disgusted by the culture that St. Paul's had harbored and I found myself crying as a new, horrible piece of information was delivered on the assault. Chessy will inspire millions to stand up and reevaluate their morals and their lives. She just helped open a floodgate for many survivors to come forward and share their own story. She is a piece in this battle to end sexual assault. But what a great piece she is.

This is a must-read. I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars.

[Jeffrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is my review of the book only. No matter how much I disliked the book or how she came across, in no way shape or form does that mean that anybody deserves to be sexually assualted or deserve to have anything else done to them.

I realize this book isn't really written for me. But I read alot of non-fiction and true crime and the blurb I read on this sounded good. Before reading this I really didn't know much of anything about this case or the school.

Overall first quarter of the book was decent but I felt it really could have been condensed. It seemed to be very long and dragged out.

After reading her own words, if I was on that jury, I wouldn't have been able to find him guilty of rape beyond a reasonable doubt. As the book went on, I felt she came across unlikeable more and more.
"Was it consensual? I couldn't cause any trouble. Through tears, I said yes. (side note, if she's actually said that through tears wouldn't the nurse pressure for more info?) I still thought it might be my fault. And this was Lucy's weekend, not mine."..

She still told Lucy that weekend, so it being Lucy's weekend had nothing to do with it. She says later on she had to reserve seats for the family. Was she the only one that could do that? As much as her parents were around throughout the book, I highly doubt they were late on that day.
"Me: you’re quite an angel yourself but would you mind keeping the sequence of events to yourself for now?
Owen: comme tu veux belle fille."

I personally find it hard to believe that someone would send cutesy letters in french . And then when talking about the condom end it with "Me: you’re not too bad yourself". In my honest opinion, that is what got Owen off on any rape charges. In this great country of ours, a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. If she wants to be pissed, be pissed at her prosecution for not doing enough to prove rape.

"I was furious when Catie told me that the school gave her an ultimatum after I left: she had to accept a new random roommate or move into a smaller space. It was so disruptive to do that in the middle of the year, and it seemed like another way to punish the people who’d supported me."

I'll admit I'm not positive how every boarding school works but would assume that's standard procedure if someone were to leave a double occupancy dorm room midway through the year.

"Harry sounded like a scorned little boy who hadn’t gotten what he wanted. I was sorry if my friendship wasn’t good enough for him. This was not the Harry who I’d met freshman year. St. Paul’s had done to him what it did to most of the boys: turned them into aggressive, possessive jerks who never had to take accountability for their actions."

So...your pissed at a guy for what his parents done? Yeah that makes sense. She admitted herself later in the book she's not a low income poor person. Her parents and family had a shit ton more money to put into this case then Owen did. So to be pissed at a SPS alumni for chipping in to make sure the defendant wasn't stuck with a public defender, struck me as very stuck up. The vast majority of people can't just fly where every they want all the time. Or have vacation homes.

"“But I’ll do everything for the prosecution,” I vowed. “It’s just beyond me to defend someone.”"

Yeah, because only automatically guilty people need defenders. Again she'd do good to remember in this great country that a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

In one chapter she says she's "desperate for the media to lose interest in my case". In the next chapter "Of course. Once again, I was the blank nothing and he was the golden boy." So...do you want the media to lose interest...or do you want your name out there? Plus not to mention since you were a minor at the time, it's common to not release the name of the victim. It's not a witch hunt out against you.

" I was furious when I learned that St. Paul’s invited a former college football player to give a talk about sexual violence. Why not give a young woman the platform to talk to the students?"

Do you want the guys to listen? No offense but they would tune out a female up there giving the exact same speech. But bring in a star athlete and odds are they might actually listen. I would assume most women would tune out guys as well.

"In one recent case that actually made headlines in 2004, senior girls forced freshmen—i.e., newbs—in their dorm to simulate blow jobs with bananas and answer sexually explicit questions as a way to introduce them to St. Paul’s. During Lucy’s first year, she heard that seniors in her dorm got a freshman so “drunk” on cough syrup that she later threw up.
Mom and Dad saw a direct link between the victims of faculty abuse, perpetual hazing problems, and my assault. St. Paul’s seemed like a noxious breeding ground for the abuse of power. The entrenched male entitlement along with the school’s “deny until you die” mantra that Owen had adopted—had allowed this abuse of power to thrive among faculty and students."

And we come to the biggest problem with the book. She mentions the 2004 case which is senior GIRLS forcing freshman GIRLS to give blow jobs but yet a paragraph later that's all because of the " entrenched male entitlement". This could have been a great book if she would have actually looked deeper then the "it's all the males fault" mantra. But instead by the time I was done I was really surprised she didn't blame the earthquake in Japan on a male.

By her own accord there was a lot of sex going on at that school. Unless every single instance of that was rape, then the females had to consent. If she would have actually went deeper into all the problems at boarding schools and colleges(the drinking, sex, first time having freedome), it would have been a great book. Instead of the, it's all the males fault.

As for Trump, when the majority of Americans didn't vote and only 3.3 percent of the voting public is willing to go away from a R or D, that's how you end up with Trump. At the end of the day your left with shit pile 1 or shit pile 2.

In closing another thing I found extremely odd was how she seemed to have photos for everything. I mean who really would think to snap a photo when she's showing her friends how Owen forced her against a wall?!? Who has a camera at just the perfect time when Christianna hugs her after the trial is over? Or when Christianna and her watches the testimony? Unless you had a camera crew following you 24/7, that all seemed extremely odd.

[Dr. Rugani · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know, what kind of monster gives a two-star review to a book by a survivor of sexual assault?

Me. I'm that monster. But, please, hear me out:

What happened to Chessy is inexcusable. That she got some level of justice is good, but that it is so rare for survivors to obtain that kind of justice is also inexcusable. She is absolutely right that everyone has a right to say no, to be respected, to be heard, to tell their story on their terms, etc. That Chessy spoke up and spoke out and is an advocate for survivors is amazing.

But.

Chessy often comes across as a spoiled rich girl that doesn't understand how well off her family is. And maybe some of that is because a lot of teens are self-centered (not a criticism, a fact of brain development) and unaware how privileged they may be. I believe Chessy understands that now, and may have even understood that then, but she still comes across in the book as whiny and unaware of her privilege for much of it. And that makes the book difficult to read and her difficult to identify with.

This book is considerably longer than necessary. It was difficult at times to follow who were friends and foes, when that changed, and where she knew them from. There is a lot of rehashing and reiterating how terribly St. Paul's is/was, at every turn in every court battle. I don't doubt that they were covering things up and generally being awful to her. But the same complaints over and over again made me less outraged at the school and more just tired of reading the book.

I didn't like the book, not because of Chessy, but because of the writing. I probably wouldn't recommend it. But I would tell people interested in survivors of sexual assault to look up Chessy, because she has found her voice and used it for good.

[Raquel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for work: powerful, enraging, inspiring. I am in awe of Chessy Prout.

[Amar Pai]

Hard to read. It felt wrong to give this book a star rating. Chessy Prout had the courage to publicly accuse her rapist at an elite prep school, years before #metoo and Weinstein. Her fellow students and parents attacked her, calling her a slut, accusing her of making it up, and asking how she could ruin a good boy's life. It was an all too familiar chorus of victim blaming. It took guts for Prout to stand up to them, especially given the lack of support from her own family. I find her bravery inspiring, and the school's reaction to be contemptible. St. Paul's is a toxic cauldron of unexamined privilege. But this shit happens everywhere. Fuck the patriarchy. We have to dismantle rape culture, and the first step is seeing it for what it is. Believe women. Realize there's no "right way" victims should act. Parents, teach your boys not to be rapists.

[Diana-christie Biancardi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved that Chessy finally wrote a book about her story. I remembered watching it on Dateline a while ago, maybe last year. I can't believe she lost friends and was isolated after she went back to her school when she reported her rapist. It's like everybody supported this ugly, violent, nerdy 18yr old guy who was forcing girls to have sex with him and put up with his abusive behavior. Even his ex-girlfriends did not have nice memories of him, only that he was aggressive and would leave bite marks on them. People knew he was a sex addict and teachers and people accepted this abusive behavior he was doing. I had a feeling that teachers knew what was going on and wouldn't say anything because everyone is rich and it's a high class boarding school. Then it was found out that even teachers abused students there decades before, and another student and a teacher were abused. The student ended up hanging himself. This story was pretty interesting. I got another look into the devious past of this school and their hush hush cover ups.

[F. J. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a really strange read. It has a number of contradictions which cause you to flip back to other parts of the book. It would be really interesting to see what Chessy said to the first adults she encountered at the time since those statements seem to be curiously absent from her account. Chessy's story has changed too much over the course of the book and the course of time since 2014 to really know what her belief is or what her goal is.

She writes that she wanted to ruin Owen Labrie's life to prove a point. It seems that she has succeeded pretty well at that. She downplays the life-time sex offender registry status that Labrie has ended up with as a result of this whole case. It seems from the emails she prints in this book that Andrew Thomson and some guy called Duncan are more guilty of the computer felony than Labrie. They were directly asking her (and she was engaging with them) for "secret snuggles" and lap dances on my lap tonight at 9pm writes Thomson. Labrie, by contrast, in his emails to Chessy, is just asking her for a date on a roof top. He accepts her rejection and then she decides to rekindle the online correspondence herself and she, not he, asks for their meeting to be out "petit secret".

Jenn Abelson, her co-author, for her own credibility as an investigative reporter, should have included the details regarding a rather key piece of evidence in this whole story: the DNA on Chessy's underwear. It came out that other people's DNA was on the sperm/semen portion of Chessy's underwear and that therefore they couldn't attribute it to Labrie.

Her therapist, Buzz, seems to feature heavily in how things played out. She seems to have made an assumption that it was rape before she even saw Chessy. Buzz called Detective Julie Curtin at Concord Police, she told Chessy to take screenshots of her emails and how to react to Labrie's correspondence. Where was Buzz during the trial? Why wasn't she on the witness stand.
Chessy writes that Detective Curtain told her not to worry about telling her the details about what happened. But nowhere in the book do we ever hear about anything she actually said to anybody about what happened, only what they said to her. Why did Detective Curtin tell her not to discuss the details with her sister or her mother? Was that to prevent them from becoming legal witnesses?

I don't see any evidence in Chessy's book that would validate the aggravated felonious sexual assault charges that the police/state threw at Owen Labrie. She even writes herself that she felt guilty that Owen got twice the sentence that Brock Turner did and that at least she didn't end up unconscious next to a dumpster. Not only did she end up not unconscious and not next to a dumpster but she is glossing over the fact that Labrie's sentence is far harsher than Brock Turner's. Labrie has already lost 5 years between ankle monitoring, strict curfew, solitary confinement and he's currently in jail. Then, when he gets out he has 5 years probation, a 7 year suspended state prison sentence and a life time on the sex offender registry for using a computer to solicit a minor.

This past week in the same court in Concord, New Hampshire where Labrie's case was tried, there was another trial regarding a 31 year old man (previous offender) accused of multiple sexual assaults on a 7 year old girl. The Concord police/state did not charge him with endangerment of the welfare of a child but they did give Labrie that charge (and convicted him) when he was 18 in the same school as Chessy (15). Go figure the logic in that one. Julie Curtin and Catherine Ruffle,the prosecutor, are described by Chessy as being "really proud" of her. Did they get rewarded for this case one wonders? I thought the prosecutors are supposed to see that justice is done. This was a sex assault case that they purposefully made into a cause celebre. Chessy got TV appearances, a book, speaking engagements and Alexander Prout got money out of several lawsuits and now gets to go on TV defaming the school and Labrie even more. It's really warped.

Lastly, I feel very sorry for the bystanders Chessy mentions in this book. She barely has a kind word to say about any of them. They didn't ask to get dragged into this. They seem to have just done what they felt would be the right behavior but instead they get panned for being disloyal.

I would say this is more a lesson for young people to learn to stay silent if they witness a sexual assault than to speak up because the price of trying to do the right thing or just being fair meant being trashed in print.

[Jill Crosby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well told and we’ll-written, Chessy Prout’s memoir on being raped and then rising from the ashes is a difficult book to put down. But we learn a lot about the culture of the privileged prep schools that operate in America, and how these schools of fine and honorable tradition operate as incubators for the narcissists and sociopaths that go on to run the country. Anyone who believes Archmore Academy (Biden) or New York Military Academy (Trump) produced enlightened, fair-minded, ethical leaders needs to read this book to see how these institutions are REALLY run, and what values the respective campuses rally around. Very seldom do they bow to school mottoes or philosophies; the values on campus generally revolve around achieving and maintaining power, prestige, popularity. Male students are favored over their female counterparts, and adults are squirreled away in offices or residences, unaware (or purposefully ignorant) of the Lord of the Flies island in full
Operation outside their locked doors. Parents, high-minded and valuing their children’s educations, or exasperated and trying to rid themselves of “problem children in Their teen years,” turn their offspring loose on these campuses, hoping their 14-year-olds will learn independence, empathy, and respect, being on their own and responsible for their own actions. These parents are either delusional, or they’ve never met a 14-year-old. Tossed into a communal living situation with no consistent adult supervision and intervention, these barely pubescent humans adapt to living in one mode and one more only: survival. If this means being the very “baddest” on campus, so be it. It means you’re unsinkable and will be looked upon as leader material. And there you have the makings of out government leaders, in a nutshell.
Chessy’s personal story is—and I don’t think this is possible, but it’s the closest I could get—is the best possible outcome a sexual assault survivor could
Ever dream of (and to be fair, she mentions this a couple of times in the book, and her parents mention it in the afterword)—-blonde, beautiful, talented; an incredibly loving and supportive family and extended family; caring and committed law enforcement professionals that listened to her, believed her, and helped her build her case; a national media that gave her the necessary platform for speaking out and calling survivors to know they are worthy of belief & love; parental friends networks that could help navigate and dismantle the forces of the dark web, provide counseling, make connections with media in order to control her story (her mom even calls the president of NBC to complain about a story run on Chessy); a safe home where she had her own space; family finances that allowed her parents to take off huge amounts of work time in order to attend trials, hearings, interviews, etc etc etc. I believe this book is HER story, and her dedication to providing help and support to other survivors is genuine. I kind of wonder, though, how much of it is applicable to the majority of sex assault survivors. A beautiful, rich, white girl from a highly supportive and loving family could probably count on a better outcome from her experience with rape than, maybe, a short Latina girl living with her single full-time-employed mom and 6 siblings, residing in grandma’s trailer home.

[Sarah Castagnaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important read. Reveals the absolutely appalling culture of sexual conquest and male privilege at private boarding schools, and the inexcusable failure of those schools to protect their young female students. Very well-written, hard-hitting, and hair-raising. I felt sick to my stomach reading the parts about the school telling students to report criminal activity using hypotheticals (presumably in order to avoid forcing staff and faculty to report it to the police), and the parts about the trial itself, where it was revealed that Owen and his mouth-breathing rich male friends had been plotting to "get" Chessy for nearly half a year.

Chessy, if you're reading this, thank you so incredibly much for your witness. I am a SPS Advanced Studies Program alum, so while I know the campus and the city that you describe as intimately as you do, my experience there was completely different than yours, and I am deeply saddened and horrified that that gorgeous campus, which holds so many beloved memories for me, was a living hell for you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm forever grateful to you for rising above it, and for stepping forward, speaking up, enduring the medical, legal, social, and psychological aftermath of it all with such poise and grace. Thank you for turning your horrific experience into something beautiful, healing, and positive for other victims who have been silenced. Thank you for using your resources and your agency to break the cycle and end the victim-blaming and darkness surrounding rape culture.

You have the right to fight for justice for survivors. We all have the right to.

[Richard Stange · Rating 5 out of 5]

A week ago, I was looking at the bookshelf in Target, searching for more Young Adult novels, as possible texts for my students. I came across this book, and some unknown force gravitated me toward it. Once I read the inside sleeve and learned what this book was, I knew that as an English teacher, it is my responsibility to read this book.

I’m not going to try to write fancy. Chessy can speak for herself, as she proves with this memoir. It was wonderfully written. This is a hard kind of book to say that I “liked,” because I can’t say that I enjoyed the fact that this wonderful young lady has been put through what she has been put through. She is a survivor, and she is sharing her narrative with us to raise awareness.

However, rape culture is something that is very real. I never knew how deep it is ingrained within the cultural fabric of institution as it is. I was not aware of rape being a sick sadistic “sport” perpetrated unto those who become survivors. I am mortified and pissed at the same time. I am certainly grateful for this memoir for opening my eyes and making me aware of this mindset and behavior.

It is the responsibility of all teachers, parents, and administrators to read this memoir; and act to speak up, protect, support, and ultimately teach all of our students to respect the rights of one another.

[Rayna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never read a memoir before but this one sucked me in immediately.

This is Chessy Prout's recollection of her life leading up to her very-much-in-the-spolight prep-school sexual assault. Prout is very raw and real in telling her story before, during, and after said assault.

As a survivor, I appreciate this narrative so, so much. I saw myself in Prout and it made me feel a little less crazy for certain feelings and actions that I experience now.

If you're curious as to why I'm only giving it 4 stars, it's only because I wasn't a fan of the pacing towards the end, but I am looking forward to keeping an eye on her and her accomplishments in the future.

Thank you, Chessy, for standing up and telling your story. You inspire me.

[Donna Marlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book from the survivor’s perspective. Would recommend to every single person, everyone can learn from this! In addition, it’s an Inspiring and heartwarming memoir of a family’s fight for justice, and the unbelievable obstacles that still exist today for anyone who speaks out about sexual assault or harassment. We all need to join together with Chessy Prout and other brave women and men who speak up for all of us.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chessy Prout’s memoir of sexual assault, justice, and hope is essential reading for all teens, parents, and educators; it deserves a home in every library.

[Stella Maybury · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel very sorry for Chessy Prout, but some embellishments, untruths and inaccuracies unfortunately undermine her important story: Jenn Ableson may well be responsible for this.

[nitya]

Haven’t read it yet but trying to combat the low rating!

[Ellie Cubis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

A must read. This should be mandatory educational reading in schools. What a brave, inspiring young woman. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Julia Krieger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t know what to expect with this memoir. I hadn’t heard of the news as it was happening, but that doesn’t mean I was naive to the ugly world of this unfortunate reality. I noticed the book while at my local library and decided to check it out.

The cover caught my attention. Her message peaked my interest. I am not a survivor but I know many people in my life who are. My stance on this message is exactly that of Chessy’s, that more times than not, by the time people are ‘comfortable’ talking about the issue of aggressive and sexual assault it’s often times too late. It’s too confusing to the individual, as we are taught to be nice and understanding and giving people the benefit of the doubt. Which isn’t a bad message. However, in the event of tragedy and spontaneous crisis most don’t know how to handle it. To stand up for yourself in general is sometimes hard to do, let alone have to be completely vulnerable and exposed, oftentimes feeling abandoned and embarrassed.

Chessy’s message to young women and men is so powerful and should be shouted from the rooftops. She is so transparent about her assault and her ripple effects that she still deals with. Her voice is loud and it is clear. Her determination is admirable.

I am very glad to have heard her message and would recommend all walks of humanity to read this book. For the sake of humanity and the positivity and the hope to keep lifting each other up. To be selfless to those who desperately need the encouragement just to live another day. To be told their life is worth it.

And for those who have that same mentality of all those in denial in this case, they too will have their day or reckoning and hell is holding a special place for them.

As grandma Prout so modestly stated, ‘They’re not worth it. And don’t hold resentment. Just pity them. Pity that they don’t have morals. Pity that they aren’t worth anything. Imagine how they feel inside because of how horrible they are.’ Grandmas kiss of death.

[Ethan Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cried several times while reading this memoir. Believe women. Teach your students about toxic masculinity and how it can go die in a hole. Teach male students to treat women with respect. Teach students about consent.

Dudes. Step up and teach men true “masculinity.” Teach them to be respectful and vulnerable and kind.

[emma lucille]

SOBBING

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This an incredibly empowering nonfiction account of a young sexual assault survivor’s path to justice. Chessy Prout’s story is raw, honest, and emotional. Not to mention, eye-opening to the harsh reality of rape culture. In a world where sexual assault is so prevailing, her bravery in the face of unspeakable trauma is heartening and her drive for justice is nothing short of inspirational. A must-read for all!

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75 stars. This book was phenomenal. I was so close to giving it a full 5 stars but just couldn't. This book is SO IMPORTANT. Chessy is so brave and I hope her strength and her story can continue to help raise awareness for sexual assault and bring down the patriarchy that lives in our society today. Thank you Chessy for sharing your story and writing this book.

[Elena · Rating 1 out of 5]

Never thought I’d read a book on this topic and become so bored and put-off that I’d start listening in double time to just get through it, but here we are. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Could have easily been 1/4 the length and not missed anything. So much blathering on for hours about irrelevant stories, dead-end tangents, reiterating the same tired points, and endless details nobody cares about. Do we really need to know what your prom dress or the blue blazer you wore on some tv show looked like? Nobody cares.

Even the acknowledgments was over 11 minutes long… Girl. Please learn what, “Less is more” means. I’d love to know what Jenn’s contributions were, but clearly heavy editing wasn’t one of them.

What a pretentious, privileged, self-absorbed, juvenile pile of nonsense. I stand with survivors always, but if you’re going to write a book about your experience, can we please stick to the topic, be humble, and stop wasting hours of your readers’ lives bragging about yourself, name dropping, and virtue signaling how great you are because you’re a Democrat and not some redneck Floridian who voted for that rapist, Trump. Forgetting to mention too that Biden is an incestuous child molester and Hillary Clinton is basically a mob boss hitman. “But, they’re for women’s rights!!!” Riiiiiiiight. Google what Shrillary said about her husband, Slick Willy’s rape survivors and how she defended a known rapist in court and then tell me more about Hillary being a champion for women and sex assault survivors. I’ll wait.

It’s chicks like this that make all survivors look like whiny, dramatic, entitled, self-absorbed, pussy-hat wearing dingbats, and one of many reasons why nobody takes us and what we’ve been through seriously.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think everyone needs to read Chessy's story. She shares her emotions and experiences with raw honesty. We see her unfolding and growing throughout the book. You find yourself rooting for her and wanting to support her. Once you start reading, you won't be able to put the book down until you finish it. It will jar you in a way that cuts deep. And it isn't just Chessy's story, but also the story of her unique family and of an absolutely horrid culture and their response to her. Highly recommended.

[Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this one blind, didn't know Chessy's story. The book popped up on my library's website, the cover caught my eye, I clicked on it, read the blurb and instantly clicked check out.

This book instantly pulled me in, in fact I had a hard time to stop listening, I kept finding things to do around the house to keep hearing Chessy's journey. I find that I'm awed by Chessy, by the choices that she made and how she stayed strong to do the right thing. My hope for her is that at some point activism like hers is not needed, that Chessy makes the changes that we all need.

[Dakota · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was originally attracted to this book because Ms. Teska (my English teacher) said I would connect deeply to it. The book didn't up to the hype I was told about it. It dragged on after getting into the book and the beginning was all over the place to me. IF I was to try and get a friend to read this book I would say they have to be able to deal with the beginning taking a while to get the settings down then it gets interesting soon after that and you get dragged into wanting to read the book and not stop.