An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex

by Siddharth Dube

Finalist for the 2020 Lambda Literary Award in Gay Memoir/Biography

A revelatory memoir about sex, oppression, and the universal struggle for justice.

From his time as a child in 1960s India, Siddharth Dube knew that he was different. Reckoning with his femininity and sexuality—and his intellect—would send him on a lifelong journey of from Harvard classrooms to unsafe cruising sites; from ivory-tower think-tanks to shantytowns; from halls of power at the UN and World Bank to jail cells where sexual outcasts are brutalized.

Coming of age in the earliest days of AIDS, Dube was at the frontlines when that disease made rights for gay men and for sex workers a matter of basic survival, pushing to decriminalize same-sex relations and sex work in India, both similarly outlawed under laws dating back to British colonial rule. He became a trenchant critic of the United States’ imposition of its cruel anti-prostitution policies on developing countries—an effort legitimized by leading American feminists and would-be do-gooders—warning that this was a 21st century replay of the moralistic Victorian-era campaigns that had spawned endless persecution of countless women, men, and trans individuals the world over.

Profound, ferocious, and luminously written, An Indefinite Sentence is both a personal and political journey, weaving Dube’s own quest for love and self-respect with unforgettable portrayals of the struggles of some of the world’s most oppressed people, those reviled and cast out for their sexuality. Informed by a lifetime of scholarship and introspection, it is essential reading on the global debates over sexuality, gender expression, and of securing human rights and social justice in a world distorted by inequality and right-wing ascendancy.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, India, Queer, Biography, Autobiography

384 pages, Hardcover

First published January 8, 2019

Reviews

[Erik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Siddharth Dube's "An Indefinite Sentence" gives readers an essential take on a life dedicated to fighting for queer people, trans people, and sex workers in India and beyond.

Dube grew up in upper caste Delhi and knew from the beginning he was different; a "girly boy" in a society that had been trained by its British colonizers to hate any and all forms of sexual difference. As he came to understand his own sexuality more deeply, while away in the US and then upon his return to India, Dube found a new passion: fighting for those communities suffering most from the AIDS crisis. Dube uses "An Indefinite Sentence" to both tell the story of his own queer life as an Indian in India and the US, but he also gives ample space to the voices of sex workers, trans Indians, and queer people as he meets them during his years advocating on their behalf. And most importantly: Dube doesn't hold anything back in bringing to task the Bush Administrations failed and conservative use of "AIDS" and "sex trafficking" to cause irreparable harm and deaths in the developing world.

Dube dedicated his life to using the position of privilege into which he had been born to advocate for those classes of people most reviled by even Gandhi. This book will reframe your worldview as you see the world from a perspective too rarely unveiled.

[Jorge · Rating 3 out of 5]

The personal portions of the book are really good and interesting. The history of the AIDS crisis in India, the struggle of sex workers, and the indictment of the GW Bush administration campaign against sex workers globally, becomes tedious at times. The author's no holds barred, candor, and transparency is refreshing.

[Gayla Bassham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to be clear -- I think Siddharth Dube has led an excellent, praiseworthy, exemplary life. I do not, alas, think his memoir is a particularly good book. The parts of the book about Dube's early life were visceral and compelling; the sections about his activism were dry, mechanically written, and perhaps a wee bit self-congratulatory.

[Debs · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I learned a lot from this book. While I have a pretty solid knowledge base surrounding HIV/AIDS history and activism here in the states, I was woefully lacking in applicable knowledge as to how it has been addressed in other parts of the world. Dube's book was sometimes difficult for me because it contains a ton of information, and I would get overwhelmed with the many twists and turns. That being said, I learned a lot, and it also helped me reshape my thinking on the AIDS crisis (i.e. how it was attached to sex workers and how damaging its effects in those communities has been).

[Adrian Shanker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written, agonizing history of HIV and sex worker activism in India and beyond, Dube’s well-researched memoir tells frequently unheard stories in addition to his own and lets readers glimpse into points in time that should not be forgotten!

[Juan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredible historical piece. First half had me hooked, then it began reading like a textbook, then my interest peaked in the end. Definitely recommend though!

[Donna Schelby · Rating 1 out of 5]

I so disliked this work that I had to write out my original feedback in a different environment as to not be overly critical in this setting. Just a few things to consider.
- There is a continual reference of all of the terrible things that had happened in your life. The unjust imprisonment, I will give you that - for sure. But just so you are aware most people have had relationships that didn't last forever, friends who have passed and decisions that didn't go their way, this is what is called life. The lack of capacity to deal with it in this book was simply exhausting.
- For a sex worker to 'choose' to be a sex worker implies there are options - starvation does not serve as a viable option. So although I agree many have made that choice; let's be clear, it wasn't their childhood dream. I have to assume the caste in which these sex workers find themselves has great influence over that decision. I saw very little in the book about fixing this fundamental flaw.
- Everything is everyone elses' fault. I get it, you are all-knowing and it's everyone else who has yet to figure that out. Whether it be the POTUS or the Secretariat. Even when you are standing right there and have the opportunity to speak out to correct a situation, you don't. You keep quiet and wait for others to say the difficult things so you can say, "That's what I think, too."
- I have many homosexual friends. It is my perception that one of the early assumptions that had to be overcome was that gay men have sex with anyone and everyone. It was clearly your choice to be indiscriminate in your dalliances; it is my hope that your actions don't sully the perception of those gay men who maintain and value monogamous relationships.
- Lastly, and this is trivial, but as a degreed journalist might I suggest giving this book a proof read prior to publishing? There are rules about the use of 'a' and 'an' that you may want to investigate. Also, 'safely' and 'safety' are not the same, one is AN adverb and the other A noun.
Had this book been written in a tone of education and insight versus the smug, indignant tone it possesses it could have started a new conversation. Maybe it will, I just don't think it is the one of which Mr. Dube is hoping.

[Artracer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This felt like two books to me, the first half was a compelling story of the authors struggle with the discrimination against homosexuals. I thought I was a bit aware, but the story of discrimination in the book told me that as a hetero man I may be compassionate ally, but I don’t know how bad it is for a gay person coming out. That’s the first half.
Then the author moves on to his after coming out life, his relationships and mostly his career in advocating for sex workers. This story is needed and compelling certainly, but it felt wholly different story than the coming out story. I ended up skimming the second half.

[Divya Mehra]

Dube doesn't hold back. He cares deeply about these issues and is clear-eyed on initiatives that help advance the rights of sexual minorities, and those that harm them. It's dense and detailed, and requires the same level of care from the reader.
Very thorough account of the AIDS crisis and the rights of the LGBTQ community and sex workers, especially in India and developing countries, with some harsh (rightly so) behind-the-scenes descriptions of UNAIDS and Bush's PEPFAR initiative.

[Tim · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was, unfortunately, dull and uneven. The pieces that were truly a personal history were interesting (although not exceptionally engaging), but much of the book consisted of long descriptions of Dube's career and summaries of events or movements that felt generic.

[Amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall interesting reading about (in order for me) the author’s life, gay rights, the AIDS crisis, and sex workers’ rights. Really disheartening though, the “one step forward, two steps back” progress that’s been made over time.

[Meggan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fascinating personal insight into the AIDS crisis in India. I learned quite a bit about the AIDS crisis and the effects that United States policy has had on other countries.