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Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say it, and When to Listen
Renowned speaker, parenting expert, and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Wendy Mogel offers an essential guide to the new art of talking to children, showing how a change in tone and demeanor can transform the relationship between parent and child.
Most parents are perfectly fine communicators—unless they’re talking to their children. Then, too often, their pitch rises and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. In tone and body language they signal, I can’t handle it when you act like a child.
Dr. Wendy Mogel saw this pattern time and again in her clinical practice. In response, she developed a remarkably effective series of “voice lessons,” which she shared with parents who were struggling with their kids. The results were a shift in vocal style led to children who were calmer, listened more attentively, and communicated with more warmth, respect, and sincerity.
In Voice Lessons for Parents , Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child’s life brings new opportunities to connect through language. Drawing from sources as diverse as neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers. Throughout the book, Mogel addresses an obstacle that bedevils even the most seasoned and confident the distraction of digital devices, how they impact our connection with our families, and what we can do about it.
Mogel’s now classic book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee , is a beloved resource for a generation of parents. Voice Lessons for Parents brings her unique brand of practical wisdom to harried parents eager to deepen their relationships with their kids. “Children will lead you on an incredible journey,” writes Mogel, “if they trust you, if you take the time, and if you’re willing to follow.”
Most parents are perfectly fine communicators—unless they’re talking to their children. Then, too often, their pitch rises and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. In tone and body language they signal, I can’t handle it when you act like a child.
Dr. Wendy Mogel saw this pattern time and again in her clinical practice. In response, she developed a remarkably effective series of “voice lessons,” which she shared with parents who were struggling with their kids. The results were a shift in vocal style led to children who were calmer, listened more attentively, and communicated with more warmth, respect, and sincerity.
In Voice Lessons for Parents , Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child’s life brings new opportunities to connect through language. Drawing from sources as diverse as neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers. Throughout the book, Mogel addresses an obstacle that bedevils even the most seasoned and confident the distraction of digital devices, how they impact our connection with our families, and what we can do about it.
Mogel’s now classic book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee , is a beloved resource for a generation of parents. Voice Lessons for Parents brings her unique brand of practical wisdom to harried parents eager to deepen their relationships with their kids. “Children will lead you on an incredible journey,” writes Mogel, “if they trust you, if you take the time, and if you’re willing to follow.”
320 pages, Hardcover
Published April 17, 2018
237 people are currently reading
1615 people want to read
About the author
Wendy Mogel
5 books97 followersWendy Mogel, PhD is the author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children published by Charles Scribner's Sons in 2001. Mogel is a nationally known speaker and author who looks at every day parenting problems through the lens of the Torah, the Talmud, and important Jewish teachings.
Mogel graduated from Middlebury College and completed an Internship and Post-Doctoral Fellowship in the Department of Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She is co-founder of the Los Angeles Association of Independent School Counselors and serves on the boards of the Center for Early Education and the Counsel for Spiritual and Ethical Education.
Mogel lives in Los Angeles with her husband, writer Michael Tolkin, and their two daughters, Susanna and Emma. On October 1, 2006, the New York Times published a profile of Mogel and her work.
Mogel graduated from Middlebury College and completed an Internship and Post-Doctoral Fellowship in the Department of Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She is co-founder of the Los Angeles Association of Independent School Counselors and serves on the boards of the Center for Early Education and the Counsel for Spiritual and Ethical Education.
Mogel lives in Los Angeles with her husband, writer Michael Tolkin, and their two daughters, Susanna and Emma. On October 1, 2006, the New York Times published a profile of Mogel and her work.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
August 18, 2018
3.5 stars. I liked the message behind this book, which encourages parents to consciously shape the way they communicate with their children, down to the physical attributes of pitch, tone, and body language. The writing has a relaxed, conversational tone, unlike many parenting books that can be preachy or dogmatic and leave you feeling anxious and despairing of how to implement their advice. This book covers how to communicate with children at different ages, plus excellent chapters on difficult subjects (specifically, sex, death, and money) and how to co-parent effectively despite differences of opinion (that chapter seems valuable for any couple, whether or not kids are in the picture!).
A particular bit of advice that stood out to me was Mogel's suggestion that you treat your child (especially as he/she becomes a teen) as an "exchange student" coming from a different culture. Obviously, your child came from your culture, but as I see it, this metaphor allows you to deal with teen behaviors from a point of detached curiosity (and respect), rather than kneejerk judgment. These behaviors could include what the teen chooses to wear (e.g., sexualized clothing), eat (e.g., unhealthy stuff), say (e.g., swearing/yelling), do (e.g., "waste" time), etc. As a grownup you already have opinions about all of this, but the teen is still developing his/her judgment and exploring options. While obviously you don't want your teen to be unsafe or hurt, perhaps approaching with an attitude of open curiosity can be more effective than issuing dictates. Maybe.
Another powerful idea here is Mogel's statement that your child's behavior today is "not permanent and not predictive" of how they will be in the future. She is talking about weird choices in clothing, verbal tics, etc. and reminding us to take a step back and not get bogged down in constant corrections (while still being aware of any problematic trends that do persist). That seems freeing.
The main downside is that the book seems to be mired in gender stereotypes - in assumptions about kids (boy/girl) *and* in assumptions about parenting roles (mother/father). The most relevant and believable parts are discussions about developmental differences between boys and girls and how being sensitive to this can improve your parenting of a son or daughter. But the book strongly and consistently assumes that the reader is a mother, and this could be offputting to fathers, who also need to talk to their children. The book does mention fathers, but it's consistently stereotypical - mom takes the kid to piano lessons while dad takes him/her fishing or camping. Mom manages the logistics and dad does the fun stuff (which is almost always a physical activity). The book is even AWARE of its own stereotyping, and Mogel peppers the text occasionally with disclaimers like "of course, this statement applies to either parent." She makes an effort to address the issue up front in the prologue/introduction, which I found very respectable. But it reads as if these parts were pasted in during a later editing pass, without effort devoted to making the whole text equally welcoming and applicable to all parents.
A particular bit of advice that stood out to me was Mogel's suggestion that you treat your child (especially as he/she becomes a teen) as an "exchange student" coming from a different culture. Obviously, your child came from your culture, but as I see it, this metaphor allows you to deal with teen behaviors from a point of detached curiosity (and respect), rather than kneejerk judgment. These behaviors could include what the teen chooses to wear (e.g., sexualized clothing), eat (e.g., unhealthy stuff), say (e.g., swearing/yelling), do (e.g., "waste" time), etc. As a grownup you already have opinions about all of this, but the teen is still developing his/her judgment and exploring options. While obviously you don't want your teen to be unsafe or hurt, perhaps approaching with an attitude of open curiosity can be more effective than issuing dictates. Maybe.
Another powerful idea here is Mogel's statement that your child's behavior today is "not permanent and not predictive" of how they will be in the future. She is talking about weird choices in clothing, verbal tics, etc. and reminding us to take a step back and not get bogged down in constant corrections (while still being aware of any problematic trends that do persist). That seems freeing.
The main downside is that the book seems to be mired in gender stereotypes - in assumptions about kids (boy/girl) *and* in assumptions about parenting roles (mother/father). The most relevant and believable parts are discussions about developmental differences between boys and girls and how being sensitive to this can improve your parenting of a son or daughter. But the book strongly and consistently assumes that the reader is a mother, and this could be offputting to fathers, who also need to talk to their children. The book does mention fathers, but it's consistently stereotypical - mom takes the kid to piano lessons while dad takes him/her fishing or camping. Mom manages the logistics and dad does the fun stuff (which is almost always a physical activity). The book is even AWARE of its own stereotyping, and Mogel peppers the text occasionally with disclaimers like "of course, this statement applies to either parent." She makes an effort to address the issue up front in the prologue/introduction, which I found very respectable. But it reads as if these parts were pasted in during a later editing pass, without effort devoted to making the whole text equally welcoming and applicable to all parents.
December 20, 2018
Like with most parenting books, I took this one with a grain of salt. The best approach is to read parenting books like a horoscope, where you take the things you like about it and leave the things that you disagree with. Unfortunately the things I disliked about this book far outnumbered the things that I found useful.
Sure there are a couple of tips that in general are good, but the book comes off as condescending. Even though there is new research about the biological differences in the brain development of boys vs. girls, the book is still very gendered and sexist in how it doles out advice. What was most frustrating is that it's sexist about children (ie: treat your boys differently than your girls) but also toward parents with a lot of offending stereotypes about mothers and fathers. I guess it's at least egalitarian about its sexism.
Sure there are a couple of tips that in general are good, but the book comes off as condescending. Even though there is new research about the biological differences in the brain development of boys vs. girls, the book is still very gendered and sexist in how it doles out advice. What was most frustrating is that it's sexist about children (ie: treat your boys differently than your girls) but also toward parents with a lot of offending stereotypes about mothers and fathers. I guess it's at least egalitarian about its sexism.
September 3, 2018
I really wanted to like this book as it started out well—pay attention to how you speak to your children and not just what you say. However, it quickly descended into what felt like gender caricatures (boys are rambunctious and need opportunities to be heroes). I would have found it easier I think if there were citations to sources as I apparently have a less average boy? Neither the advice in the ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ chapters seemed to be the right fit. I don’t know if I’m too much of a hippy or what but the delivery of the message just didn’t resonate with me and I found the book challenging to plow through.
Admittedly, I gave up because it felt like the return on time slogging was so low.
Admittedly, I gave up because it felt like the return on time slogging was so low.
October 20, 2024
The thing about kids is that they don't listen. I didn't listen much to my parents, my son doesn't listen much to me. As parents, we want the best for our kids, but realistically we can't just make them do it. And as a parallel, as a former academic, if professors could really indoctrinate their students, the first thing they'd do is indoctrinate them to read the goddamn syllabus!
While kids don't hear the words you're saying, with adults coming through as a kind of Charlie Brownish wurble, they are very adept at hearing the tone that you use. Mogel has a lot to say about being steady, calm, and curious, all of which are good advice. Don't yell, don't hector, don't use sarcasm, and leave room for love and understanding to emerge.
The flipside is that this slow/gentle approach works great when things are good, I'm not sure how well it works when things are bad. As parents we all have moments when we are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or otherwise not putting our best foot forward. My son is three, so our conflicts have been over things like baths and potty training, which are in the grand scope of things pretty minor. While life is often rocky, what if you have a teenager who's seriously depressed, failing classes, and hanging out with the worst crowd?
A large portion of this book is sectioned by girls and boys, and talking to mom or dad. As a therapist, Mogel has seen a lot of families, so I'm moderately confident her stereotypes are more grounded in numbers than gut feelings, but this book is still based heavily on gender stereotypes.
While kids don't hear the words you're saying, with adults coming through as a kind of Charlie Brownish wurble, they are very adept at hearing the tone that you use. Mogel has a lot to say about being steady, calm, and curious, all of which are good advice. Don't yell, don't hector, don't use sarcasm, and leave room for love and understanding to emerge.
The flipside is that this slow/gentle approach works great when things are good, I'm not sure how well it works when things are bad. As parents we all have moments when we are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or otherwise not putting our best foot forward. My son is three, so our conflicts have been over things like baths and potty training, which are in the grand scope of things pretty minor. While life is often rocky, what if you have a teenager who's seriously depressed, failing classes, and hanging out with the worst crowd?
A large portion of this book is sectioned by girls and boys, and talking to mom or dad. As a therapist, Mogel has seen a lot of families, so I'm moderately confident her stereotypes are more grounded in numbers than gut feelings, but this book is still based heavily on gender stereotypes.
unfinished
October 24, 2018I think there is likely some good parenting advice in this book, but I just could not get past the gender stereotypes to see it. The author's note at the beginning telling you that you can "insert mental quotation marks as needed around the references to gender differences" rings hollow when the book is so full of gender-specific advice based on what Boys and Girls need and also what Mothers and Fathers do. For example:
"Boys *do not hear* subtle differences in tone, so your sighs or sarcastic hinting may be lost on your son."
"Although [your son] is not as adept as a girl would be at reading expressions, he needs to see your face because it helps focus his attention."
"You can't force a boy to care about hanging up his wet towel, empathize when a friend trips and falls, or want to sit quietly when his biology is screaming at him to leap up and race across an open field."
"Speaking slowly is effective with boys because they're preoccupied and they can't hear as well as girls. With daughters, talk quickly enough to hold their interest but not as quickly as they talk."
"It's completely normal for young girls to insult their mothers (but rarely their fathers)."
"Fathers teach a different set of communication skills than mothers do. Moms model listening for emotional nuance and offer solace and guidance; dads toughen girls up, teach them how to take a joke, and talk to them about things that are outside the personal, social realm in which women and girls are so absorbed."
I didn't have to hunt for these examples - the book is completely full of them. I guess there may be some helpful nuggets for how to relate to boys in general or girls in general, but I felt mystified reading her generalizations as I pictured my perceptive son who reads emotion in facial expressions so easily, or my daughter who often doesn't hear me the first time I talk to her and needs me to get close to her physically to get her attention. The level of gender stereotyping was just too much for me to get past, and the asides saying "Of course, these are generalizations" felt like they were tacked on to avoid criticism.
"Boys *do not hear* subtle differences in tone, so your sighs or sarcastic hinting may be lost on your son."
"Although [your son] is not as adept as a girl would be at reading expressions, he needs to see your face because it helps focus his attention."
"You can't force a boy to care about hanging up his wet towel, empathize when a friend trips and falls, or want to sit quietly when his biology is screaming at him to leap up and race across an open field."
"Speaking slowly is effective with boys because they're preoccupied and they can't hear as well as girls. With daughters, talk quickly enough to hold their interest but not as quickly as they talk."
"It's completely normal for young girls to insult their mothers (but rarely their fathers)."
"Fathers teach a different set of communication skills than mothers do. Moms model listening for emotional nuance and offer solace and guidance; dads toughen girls up, teach them how to take a joke, and talk to them about things that are outside the personal, social realm in which women and girls are so absorbed."
I didn't have to hunt for these examples - the book is completely full of them. I guess there may be some helpful nuggets for how to relate to boys in general or girls in general, but I felt mystified reading her generalizations as I pictured my perceptive son who reads emotion in facial expressions so easily, or my daughter who often doesn't hear me the first time I talk to her and needs me to get close to her physically to get her attention. The level of gender stereotyping was just too much for me to get past, and the asides saying "Of course, these are generalizations" felt like they were tacked on to avoid criticism.
January 19, 2019
I am skeptical and choosy about "parenting" books, but this one was a winner--I would absolutely recommend to other parents. Her no-nonsense opinions about screens, boundaries, and compassionate detachment from one's children, all line up with instincts I already had but support them with evidence and/or her experience as a psychotherapist. The supporting details feel robust without getting over-scientific. Even though I only have a one-year-old, the advice about how to think about and raise teenagers was fascinating and I believe will stick with me through the years. The material toward the end about how to talk with nannies, teachers, and coaches felt a little bit like filler, somewhat out of place and not totally relevant to the main topic.
Listened to the audible edition.
Listened to the audible edition.
April 17, 2018
As a mother of a soon to be teenager and more to come I have been searching books that would help me guide my teen as well as my little's I have in my own home.
This book is practical hands on lessons that even teens could use as a reference when talk to adults and their friends. I learned so much from this book on how words can effect someone from when they are growing as young child to adulthood. Just the difference between the use of a term as well as the sound of your voice can change who a child will interpret you.
I am sharing this book with all the moms I know.
Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy of Wendy Mogel Voice Lessons for Parents
This book is practical hands on lessons that even teens could use as a reference when talk to adults and their friends. I learned so much from this book on how words can effect someone from when they are growing as young child to adulthood. Just the difference between the use of a term as well as the sound of your voice can change who a child will interpret you.
I am sharing this book with all the moms I know.
Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy of Wendy Mogel Voice Lessons for Parents
June 5, 2018
I didn't read the teen chapters because we're so far from that. But I did like the practical advice and the connection to neurology. Sometimes it's just nice to read something that confirms that you're not the only one struggling with, say, a five-year-old boy who doesn't listen at first and a very strong-willed three-year-old.
Book was a little heavy on "boys do this and girls do that" at times, but they were usually accompanied with an acknowledgement that such statements are not universally true.
Book was a little heavy on "boys do this and girls do that" at times, but they were usually accompanied with an acknowledgement that such statements are not universally true.
December 5, 2017
Few books on parenting offer such abundant, hands on and practical learning opportunities. With each of Mogel's books, she touches upon so many areas where I have so much potential to grow as a parent. Voice Lessons is immediately impacting how I talk and has thoroughly remedied some challenges.
I will be posting my review to Instagram and Facebook during the week this book releases.
I will be posting my review to Instagram and Facebook during the week this book releases.
September 3, 2021
An interesting book about how to communicate with children of different ages and how there are general difference between the ways boys and girls communicate. It also talks about the different relationships between parent and child. A lot of it boils down to remembering they aren't just a small adult and treating them with respect, and the nuances that come with that.
While not as egregious as other parenting books there as still quite a few trite stories concocted to get the point across, which I hate.
While not as egregious as other parenting books there as still quite a few trite stories concocted to get the point across, which I hate.
March 13, 2020
Very highly recommend both as a parent and teacher.
July 17, 2022
An important read for educators and care givers.
May 14, 2023
Hands down the best thing I’ve read about talking to my teenage boy. Whew.
September 7, 2020
This was surprisingly helpful. I’ve been practicing keeping my face calm and it has been very helpful. I’m considering getting the physical book to keep for reference.
March 8, 2019
There are definitely many pieces of good advice here. My problem, as with several other reviewers, is the insistence on gender norms, both for children and parents. This might be valuable when speaking purely scientifically of the early development of a child, but by age 2-3 society has already reinforced gender norms on kids. That means Mogel and other experts' years of experience with thousands of kids is colored heavily by those societal norms.
Sure, you might find that teenage boys don't talk to their parents or the other observations made in this book. And Mogel's advice may be your savior. But there is no clear line in the text on what is based on expert experience, response to societal norms, etc.
Maybe there simply isn't enough study or experience for what I'd like to see. But I personally don't find it helpful to have different advice for moms and dads.
Even supposing my preference is totally wrong and kids should absolutely be treated differently based on gender, you are left with more issues. First, what about how to speak to LGBT kids? This would have been invaluable in a book about speaking to your kids. I bet most parents have no idea how to be helpful and supportive, and just do their best flying blind.
Second, Mogel can't help but layer sections of her work with prejudice based on parental gender norms. Dad isn't around as much, isn't as caring, etc. Mom stresses all the time and is home all the time, etc. She doesn't assert these are good things, but they are implied to be the expectation and shouldn't be. The focus should be on the kids and how best to communicate with them.
Note: this review is based on the audiobook
Sure, you might find that teenage boys don't talk to their parents or the other observations made in this book. And Mogel's advice may be your savior. But there is no clear line in the text on what is based on expert experience, response to societal norms, etc.
Maybe there simply isn't enough study or experience for what I'd like to see. But I personally don't find it helpful to have different advice for moms and dads.
Even supposing my preference is totally wrong and kids should absolutely be treated differently based on gender, you are left with more issues. First, what about how to speak to LGBT kids? This would have been invaluable in a book about speaking to your kids. I bet most parents have no idea how to be helpful and supportive, and just do their best flying blind.
Second, Mogel can't help but layer sections of her work with prejudice based on parental gender norms. Dad isn't around as much, isn't as caring, etc. Mom stresses all the time and is home all the time, etc. She doesn't assert these are good things, but they are implied to be the expectation and shouldn't be. The focus should be on the kids and how best to communicate with them.
Note: this review is based on the audiobook
March 22, 2019
Awesome parenting book. Super helpful and thoughtful info with great examples. Sometimes you need to hear things for reassurance! This was worth my time and something i will review over the years. I only wish I had heard about it sooner.
March 14, 2019
This was a great parenting book to someone who doesn’t read many parenting books. I skipped the chapters on teenagers as that stage seems like it’s a universe away. However, I gained a lot of insight into how a child’s brain works and develops. It gave practical steps in how to help speak to your child in a way they understand and can process and to build healthy parent/child relationships.
March 15, 2019
So helpful! I’ll reread when my kids are teenagers!
March 13, 2019
A few useful nuggets to add to my toolbox. Will likely reread in a few years.
March 2, 2019
Great and wonderful. I will recommend this to everyone with kids of all ages. The concerns and issues raised in this book are spot on. More than a few stories could have been written for me, directly. This should be shared far and wide.
Audio book is very endearing
Audio book is very endearing
February 21, 2019
Dr. Wendy Mogel gives the kind of cool, calm, collected advice I wish to embody in my parenting style. She is full of pragmatic wisdom and that’s all you can ask for in a book about parenting. The beginning chapters focus on babies and toddlers before going full blown teenager throughout the rest of the book. Believe me, her honest descriptions on raising teenaged boys and girls has me rattled (but still hopeful). If an audiobook becomes available, I’m going to “suggest” my husband listen to this book during his commute.
February 20, 2019
A "how-to book" that honestly works for me although we speak a different language to our children than the book uses. I re-read the passages about the smallest children since its the age which we are dealing with now, but saw many situations which I remember from my childhood and teenage years in the rest of the book. I will come back to it every so often as our kids grow.
May 11, 2023
I highly recommend this book, parenting books can feel like a drag but this is fun and deeply interesting. I feel I got a lot out of it and the author is an excellent communicator.
July 3, 2018
I appreciated the insights and read through the teen years as well even though I’m far from it still—she continued to reference points that are applicable to younger kids throughout. I appreciated the advice and still fear the teen years but what I took away from this book the most was the importance of listening. Not only that, but being mindful of my tendency to worry about efforts being taken now and how it will affect their futures (college, adult life). The “goodwill” bank examples of the types of interactions that the kids will remember fondly reminded me of my own memories. Mogel highlights the importance of just being there and not rushing to solve everything. Sometimes not saying the first thing that comes to mind is the toughest part. Waiting is usually wise in non-emergency scenarios. Informative, helpful read for anyone looking to grow in the realm of thoughtful listening, while being effective without alienating or causing the child to become defensive while trying to help.
September 5, 2018
Reading the whole book isn't really the way most would approach this book. Since it is broken down by age and gender, it works to just read the relevant parts for the time a parent is living or about to live. In these areas, there are some very helpful suggestions and considerations hidden among some things that felt less ground-breaking.
As a teacher, I was hoping to get more perspective on how teachers can also talk to students, but the dynamic of parents is so different from that of a teacher, most was not relevant to my job. I would, however, recommend that many parents (especially involved parents) read this in order to figure out how to let go somewhat for children to grow up and let go. A lot of what she had to say about the accidental pressure and interference in school and activities for teenagers really resonated with me.
As a teacher, I was hoping to get more perspective on how teachers can also talk to students, but the dynamic of parents is so different from that of a teacher, most was not relevant to my job. I would, however, recommend that many parents (especially involved parents) read this in order to figure out how to let go somewhat for children to grow up and let go. A lot of what she had to say about the accidental pressure and interference in school and activities for teenagers really resonated with me.
April 26, 2019
I suspected I would find this book too seated in simple common sense. At first it seemed like it was heading that route but then veered through a very accurate use of examples and experiences. Most parents will find value in this read. Even if your children are past the younger ages that are covered in the first part of the book, the sections on teenagers are relevant enough to read through to. There were also a lot of sage bits of wisdom for parents and adult relationships. My one big tip of advice is a general one for authors - do not record your own audible books, even if you feel you have given enough speeches throughout your career. An outside, objective, professional reader will almost always do a better job.
January 31, 2019
I liked the way this book stressed the idea of treating your kid as if they were an exchange student. Basically, being observant from the outside and asking questions to discover the ways of this being. Making assumptions and being totally uninterested can be extremely damaging.
I also liked the section of the book that went through the developmental differences between boys and girls as they grow up. As much as our culture believes that everyone should be treated exactly the same, the reality is that boys and girls are different. They need different things at different times, and understanding and reacting to that is important.
There was too much in the book to go into here, or even to remember six months later. It was a quick-ish read so I’ll probably come back to it later on.
I also liked the section of the book that went through the developmental differences between boys and girls as they grow up. As much as our culture believes that everyone should be treated exactly the same, the reality is that boys and girls are different. They need different things at different times, and understanding and reacting to that is important.
There was too much in the book to go into here, or even to remember six months later. It was a quick-ish read so I’ll probably come back to it later on.
April 15, 2018
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley for free in exchange for an honest review.
Wendy Mogel has written an accessible and straightforward guide for parents who want to communicate more effectively with their children. The book is organized by age and then a chapter with specific suggestions for boys and another for girls. I really liked the honesty and lack of condescension in this book. As the mother of a third grade daughter, I admit that I gave the chapters focusing on girls a much closer read than those that focused on boys.
I appreciate the very specific advice in Voice Lessons for Parents and know that I will be referring to it frequently.
Wendy Mogel has written an accessible and straightforward guide for parents who want to communicate more effectively with their children. The book is organized by age and then a chapter with specific suggestions for boys and another for girls. I really liked the honesty and lack of condescension in this book. As the mother of a third grade daughter, I admit that I gave the chapters focusing on girls a much closer read than those that focused on boys.
I appreciate the very specific advice in Voice Lessons for Parents and know that I will be referring to it frequently.
February 19, 2019
I first heard Mogel on Dax Shephard's Armchair Expert podcast and immediately added "Voice Lessons for Parents" to my to-be-read list. I checked it out from the library as soon as it was available.
Her no-nonsense yet relaxed approach to child rearing is refreshing and appealing. I loved her practical advice about both tone and content.
I've recommended this book to my friends with young children, and I plan to reread it again when my daughters enter middle school and I become what Mogel calls the most unhappy category of parents (mothers of middle school girls). With some determination and Mogel's advice, I'm convinced that stage doesn't have to be miserable.
Her no-nonsense yet relaxed approach to child rearing is refreshing and appealing. I loved her practical advice about both tone and content.
I've recommended this book to my friends with young children, and I plan to reread it again when my daughters enter middle school and I become what Mogel calls the most unhappy category of parents (mothers of middle school girls). With some determination and Mogel's advice, I'm convinced that stage doesn't have to be miserable.
June 13, 2019
This book is complete crap. Any “insights” are self-evident - talk to your baby, personal interaction is better than videos etc. Throughout, Mogel operates under the assumption that all families consist of a mother and a father - the term “partner” would have been vastly more preferred, especially given that this was just published in 2018. Similar dubious gender “wisdoms”:
- “boys and girls are JUST DIFFERENT.”
- “mom and dad parent differently. Mom always says abc, while dad always says xyz.”
- etc etc
Those are paraphrased, of course, but I was really taken aback by the regressive gender attitudes throughout. Skip this one.
- “boys and girls are JUST DIFFERENT.”
- “mom and dad parent differently. Mom always says abc, while dad always says xyz.”
- etc etc
Those are paraphrased, of course, but I was really taken aback by the regressive gender attitudes throughout. Skip this one.
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