Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet

by Joan Halifax, Rebecca Solnit (Foreword)

Standing at the Edge is an evocative examination of how we can respond to suffering, live our fullest lives, and remain open to the full spectrum of our human experience.


Joan Halifax has enriched thousands of lives around the world through her work as a humanitarian, a social activist, an anthropologist, and as a Buddhist teacher. Over many decades, she has also collaborated with neuroscientists, clinicians, and psychologists to understand how contemplative practice can be a vehicle for social transformation. Through her unusual background, she developed an understanding of how our greatest challenges can become the most valuable source of our wisdom—and how we can transform our experience of suffering into the power of compassion for the benefit of others.

Halifax has identified five psychological territories she calls Edge States—altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement—that epitomize strength of character. Yet each of these states can also be the cause of personal and social suffering. In this way, these five psychological experiences form edges, and it is only when we stand at these edges that we become open to the full range of our human experience and discover who we really are.

Recounting the experiences of caregivers, activists, humanitarians, politicians, parents, and teachers, incorporating the wisdom of Zen traditions and mindfulness practices, and rooted in Halifax’s groundbreaking research on compassion, Standing at the Edge is destined to become a contemporary classic. A powerful guide on how to find the freedom we seek for others and ourselves, it is a book that will serve us all.

"Joan Halifax is a clearheaded and fearless traveler and in this book…she offers us a map of how to travel courageously and fruitfully, for our own benefit and the benefit of all beings." —From the foreword by Rebecca Solnit

Genres: Nonfiction, Buddhism, Spirituality, Self Help, Psychology, Philosophy, Personal Development

304 pages, Hardcover

Published May 1, 2018

About the author

Joan Halifax is a Zen Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, ecologist, civil rights activist, hospice caregiver, and the author of several books on Buddhism and spirituality. She currently serves as abbot of Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Halifax has received dharma transmission from both Bernard Glassman and Thich Nhat Hanh, and studied under Korean master Seung Sahn. In the 1970s she collaborated on LSD research projects with her ex-husband Stanislav Grof, in addition to other collaborative efforts with Joseph Campbell and Alan Lomax. As a socially engaged Buddhist, Halifax has done extensive work through her Project on Being with Dying. She is on the board of directors of the Mind and Life Institute, a non-profit organization exploring the relationship between science and Buddhism.

Reviews

[Mary B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s unfortunate that this book’s rather vague, unremarkable title doesn’t hint at the riches inside. Joan Halifax, an amazingly accomplished Buddhist teacher (she first met the now-popular Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh back in the 1960’s) and social activist, takes readers on a fascinating spiritual journey into what she calls the five psychological “Edge States” that form the basis of character: altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement.

The book is roughly divided into five parts that each explore an edge state and culminates in a chapter that brings all the author’s ideas together in a sort of call to action on how to practice, or rather, live the truths Halifax lays out so well.

The author begins with the metaphor of an edge state being part of our psychological terrain, a ridge on a mountain with pitfalls on one side and potential on the other. Altruism, for instance, can be helpful or toxic to both ourselves and others. It’s helpful when we serve others in a useful, non-egoistic way and toxic when it leads to pitfalls such as burnout or self-aggrandizement. Halifax illustrates these challenges through captivating stories drawn from her own and others’ experiences (unhealthy example: a psychologist who had so much compassion and empathy for clients that he eventually shut down and came to resent those same clients, leading to his leaving the field; healthy example: social activists who travel afar to help populations in distress but are able to disengage enough to teach those inhabitants how to implement and take ownership of those ideas and skills in order to help their own people).

Explains the author, “Edges are places where opposites meet. Where fear meets courage and suffering meets freedom. Where solid ground ends in a cliff face. Where we can gain a view that takes in so much more of our world. And where we need to maintain great awareness, lest we trip and fall.”

Standing at the Edge is not so much a heavy read, drawing as it does from Zen Buddhist philosophy, as it is a deep dive into an ocean swirling with new ideas. It makes its points in an eddying fashion, rather than linearly, which can be frustrating at times as it leads to abstractness and repetition. But what stands out is how seamlessly and paradoxically Halifax integrates Zen Buddhism with practical strategies for serving others without losing ourselves. And for neophytes to Buddhism, this book instructs so naturally that its precepts come to seem second nature.

Given the extremely divisive and frightening times we live in, Standing at the Edge is essential reading for those who, as the author notes, seek to “serve and survive” by strengthening the “internal and interpersonal qualities that are keys to a compassionate and courageous life.”

This review is based on an Advance Reading Copy provided by the publisher.

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Halifax has identified five psychological territories she calls Edge States—altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement—that epitomize strength of character, but can also be the cause of personal and social suffering."

Her previous book, Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death, was a huge help to me during my father's illness. This book is a bit more philosophical than practical, and more Buddhist than generalist, but I think any reader could take bits out whether or not they were practicing Buddhists themselves. She navigates sometimes obscure (to me) teachings to help provide practical suggestions for using but not tipping over the edge in situations like caregiving, dealing with difficult people, etc. I had actually encountered some of what she includes in this book (the ABIDE acronym, for example) in "A Mindful Campus" workshop on trauma informed pedagogy a year or two ago, and I think it originates with her.

At times, I feel the text gets a bit bogged down in Buddhist teachings, especially when things start coming in sets like the 8 of this and the 5 of that, or when using ancient koans as examples. I understand that this is the perspective she's coming from but sometimes I would lose track of the topic while it meandered off to these parts. Someone with greater familiarity in Buddhism would probably move more quickly through these parts.

Some bits I marked, which I can't quote directly since I had an uncorrected galley, but will summarize:

-I appreciated the commentary on "compassion fatigue" and her suggestion that it is actually empathy fatigue, and that compassion applied correctly should not lead to fatigue.

-Women and the societal pressure for self-sacrifice and Halifax talks about the pros and cons of altruism bias

-That we build "walls of expertise" because of what we are afraid of, and this is in the larger context of being blind to our own biases and the versions of stories we tell

-I marked this tanka from Izumi Shikibu:
"Although the wind
blows terribly here
the moonlight also leaks
between the roof planks
of this ruined house>."

-In the section about integrity, discussion of the "golden repair" idea, where we incorporate suffering and don't try to hide it in our daily ways of being with others

-The Perfections (I hadn't heard of these before)

I received an eARC from publisher through Edelweiss. The books came out May 1.

[Roger Whitson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book at a particularly difficult moment in my life, when realities like empathic distress and burnout seemed all too real for me. Halifax talks about empathy, altruism, and engagement as "edge-states," spaces where we have to be very skillful in order to not fall into the abyss of distress and suffering.

I realized while reading the book that I had conceptualized empathy as standing in the place of someone else and feeling/doing for them. Not only did that heighten my own empathic distress, it was also completely narcissistic and condescending. All-too-often Westerners condescend to those who need help, seeing it as the duty of people who are better off. But that striving keeps us from truly connecting with others through compassion. A vital book for these difficult times.

[julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

read it, didn’t listen to it. outstanding work filled with guidance about how to do the interior work of being present for others without tipping into ego or self destruction. Profound.

[Nicki Escudero · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's difficult to describe Joan Halifax's book "Standing at the Edge". The author weaves in personal stories from her experience as a researcher, teacher, hospice caregiver and prison spirituality teacher, as she explains to readers how to avoid the "edge states" of various noble causes. Empathy can become traumatic. Work can lead to burnout. Altruism, respect and integrity, when taken to negative extremes, can harm both the doer and the receiver.

What I took away from this book is that the most effective way to live a meaningful life is to lead with compassion in all that you do. I appreciate Halifax using real-world examples from her life and work to strengthen her points. She draws upon neuroscience, what she's seen in her humanitarian work in Nepal and stories from her relationships with doctors and caregivers to show readers what it's like to live in edge states and thrive by integrating compassion into everything we do.

I would give this book to anyone who feels exhausted by the stresses of their personal lives or the state of the world. The book gives readers a way to identify what matters in life, focus on what we can control and how we can contribute, and help protect ourselves while we're also trying to help others.

Halifax has a gentle, encouraging and empathetic tone that makes you feel like you're reading the words of a trusted friend. I felt peace while reading, despite the sometimes-difficult subject matter. You might feel more hopeful about having a life worth living by reading this book, too.

[Eileen stern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Activism means standing on the edge most of the time... fighting for what you believe in, following your heart, showing compassion and yet we can fall off a cliff most easily. I have fallen off the cliff with friendships over politics. I have fallen off the cliff personally with unhealthy obsession or angst over what seems unchangeable. The Buddhist perspective in this book on altruism, activism and compassion to keep from falling off the edge was exactly what I needed to read at this time. To learn to breathe. To be reminded that some things just require acceptance and love and not always action which can lead to burnout.

[Raven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Standing at the Edge discusses five states, altruism, empathy, integrity, respect and engagement, within an individual that while good, when we engage too much with them can actually cause distress and self-destruction. Halifax shows us how to identify when we are going too far or working from the stance of ego and how to back off while still being present and a witness.
Absolutely phenomenal book. Highly recommend.

[Aurora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the most important book I’ve read for my own process in a long time.

[Christine Stangl · Rating 5 out of 5]

So. Much. YES. This book spoke to me and couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. This is hands down one of the best books I’ve read on my journey to find inner peace.

[Claudia Greening · Rating 3 out of 5]

The inscription written to me in this book reads: “I hope you steep in this wisdom.” That is exactly how I felt after completing it today, after being fully allowed to wonder at and be fearful of what Halifax has to offer us. It is as if I have been challenged by someone who knows me intimately. Halifax, a Buddhist teacher and social activist, recognizes something in me that I am unable to communicate. A sense of empathy that is often exhausting, engagement that borders on chaos. She writes of five “Edge States,” psychological experiences that define our character, but can also lead to tremendous pain. Not only does Halifax effectively identify these “states” through vignettes and her own personal experiences, she offers concrete ways to avoid falling over the edge.

This book will act as a guide for my life. As we search for freedom from these unnamable challengers, Standing at the Edge will carve a path for all who make it through.

[Frieda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ms. Halifax highlights in depth about five psychological practices that she calls Edge States - altruism, empathy, respect, integrity and engagement - that are mainstays in society. She also shows how burnout occurs when an individual "overdoses" on these practices. We find freedom in awareness and having a sense of balance in what is seemingly a more troubled world.

[Joanne Mcleod · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roshi Joan Halifax does a wonderful job in her writing explaining how standing at the edge, or living in the moment, allows us to not only see and feel the suffering within and around us, but to realize through GRACE and compassion how to be delivered from suffering and experience freedom. She explains difficult concepts of Buddhism very well, to bring understanding and usefulness in daily life.

[Karl Nehring · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sorry -- the book was well-intentioned and contained some good advice, but after reading closely for about 80 pages or so it just wore me out and I just quickly skimmed the rest. Her "Being with Dying" was much more impressive.

[K.S.C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so appreciate the richness of experience and thought that Roshi Halifax brings to her teachings. I am particularly grateful for her thorough presentation of compassion and the clear differentiation she makes between compassion and empathy.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wise compassion

This book illuminates the protective and destructive aspects of caring. Wonderful insights for those in the caring professions or close to one-hour are clearly delineated, explained and made memorable.

[Jose · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is a metaphor on states of being , areas where a certain degree of skill is required to fully exercise the foundations of service and fulfillment. Edges where, if not careful, altruism, integrity, engagement and compassion become destructive. Like most metaphors it can only go that far.

The book takes a Buddhist perspective and style, it meanders and goes back over itself to almost become like a mantra. Joan Halifax spreads anecdotes about her life with Nepalese people in crisis as well as prisoners in New Mexico and homeless people. In most of these situations she contributes her stillness ,humor and human touch. Not too shabby except nothing really changes beyond her own satisfaction with her approach. She is a witness, a good one may be, but so what?

It is bad enough that it starts with false conceptions of human nature like the myth of the “good savage” , the odd notion that humans are born naturally good and generous. We are not born "that way" and it is obvious so being altruistic or concerned is not a given. And the mindless repetition about “Western” errors. What is Western? She doesn’t say but in her mind it’s a mix of utilitarian colonialism and botched empathy. Of course that is not the monopoly of the West or the East. Never mind most useful medicine and scientific breakthroughs of the last few centuries were “Western” and successfully adopted in other non Western places. Rationality and Enlightenment are not a monopoly of the West or the East but it was allowed to flourish at certain times and in certain places. So trite to use this type of shorthand.

Most Buddhist teachings sound commonsensical and a bit trite frankly. Detachment from things and desires -certainly- must help but this is not really how anybody lives, is it? Stoics preached similar boilerplate and, like with Buddhism, their “philosophy” was happily accepted by the rich and wealthy to evade pain and strife. The author throws herself into situations where she tests her ability to detach from too much "wanting to fix" as a way of being effective. We all know how caring too much can compromise our dedication to a cause, a job or whatever by depleting our resources and energy and making us hate what was initially a desire to help and act. A whole book about it doesn’t add much. Obtuse tales of monks don't inspire me like they do the author.

There’s a lot of abstraction in the concepts at the heart of the book , what is compassion? Integrity? Altruism? Why do we need these things? Why should humans care for one another? How does Buddhist practice make any difference if it can be adopted just as set of behaviours, without any label? Is it biology that makes us love strangers? Morality? God? Education? The problem of living in a doctrinal bubble, yes, even while jumping from crisis to crisis is that none of the stories or the “teachings” seem too relevant to anyone but the writer. Hopefully I’m wrong. I just know I was bored by the diffuse mix of anecdote, the aggrandizing of the dullest utterances from the Dalai Lama, high minded words and the globe-trotting of Mrs Halifax.

[yenni m · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories to go with the teachings were heart wrenching and powerful, woven in really well. I didn't much like JH's writing style but the words themselves were embodied and valuable. I took notes under a tree and I'd be interested to explore the pneumonics JH created toward achievable, intentional living.

Pretty much I'll take my walks with teachings and tales on compassion because that's a long endless road I wanna take. I'm kicking pebbles and staring at horizons for now but I'm starting to feel the Earth.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

“A world without empathy is a world that is dead to others- and if we are dead to others, we are dead to ourselves. The sharing of another’s pain can take us past the narrow canyon of selfish disregard, and even cruelty, and into the larger, more expansive landscape of wisdom and compassion. I also feel that empathy is a human imperative, one that our basic goodness invites us to receive. Remembering the worlds of Arthur Schopenhauer, “How is it possible that suffering that is not my own… should immediately affect me as though it were my own, and with such force that it moves me to action?”

There were a lot of important insights here, some new, some I have learned before and I have to confess I was expecting to be more inspired. The author’s life and examples of real life goodness are unarguably the best of what being human is. She is a living saint, and I have the deepest admiration and awe of the ways she shows up again and again and stands for true compassion and true care of her fellow humans. She has developed some techniques to help us try to put compassion into practice, like a recipe that all can follow without necessarily being Buddhist. I think that may be the disconnect for me; as much as I admire Buddhism, it is a practice and belief based in low intensity peace, meditation, etc. and it does not easily translate into more mystical or poetic language. She presents the light and dark side of the edge states, and how to strengthen the light and prevent the dark, which is known as burnout, and I appreciate that so much; in pandemic times, we all need that, but especially those in my field, excluding me, who have been overwhelmed by the struggles. I am not a living saint, but I like to think that my life is to serve, and to do it in different ways that also nourish my heart, so pure altruism is not where it springs from, but compassion does.

Really good for people who don’t have the opportunity or current compassion for the world and its people that is needed for us to move forward to live like I know we can.

When we learn to recognize the Edge States in our lives, we can stand on the threshold of change and see a landscape abundant with wisdom, tenderness, and basic human kindness. At the same time, we can see a desolate terrain of violence, failure, and futility. Having the strength to stand at the edge, we can raw lessons from places of utter devastation, of refugee camps, earthquake destroyed areas, prisons, cancer wards, homeless encampments, and war zone, and at the same time be resourced by our basic goodness and the goodness of others. This is how we develop the strength to stand at the edge and have a wider view, a view that includes all sides of the equation of life. How we find life-giving balance between oppositional forces. How we find freedom at the edge. And how we discover that the alchemy of suffering and compassion brings forth the gold of our character, the gold of our hearts.

Altruistic joy is considered to be a truly nourishing quality of mind. In this way, Buddhism agrees with western psychology that feeling joy about the good fortune of others is good for us…one study showed that young children, even those under two years old, tend to experience a greater sense of well-being when they give treats than when they receive them…the neuroscientist Tania Singer has discovered that compassion (a close companion of altruism) triggers the brain’s reward centers and pleasure networks. She believes that humans are wired for kindness. When we act from kindness, we feel aligned with our basic human values.

At the core of Buddhist philosophy is nonattachment, which is an important principle to remember in relation to altruism. When we see others suffering- whether a family member, colleague, client, animal, an entire group of people, our earth- we hopefully try to meet suffering honestly and intimately so we can serve. It is like we are all falling about the infinite groundlessness of life, and we learn to become stable in flight, and to support others to become free of the fear that arises from feeling unmooored. The final resting place is not the ground at all but rather the freedom that arises from knowing there will never be a ground, and yet here we are, together, navigating the boundless space of life, not attached [to the outcome], yet intimate. Nonattachment does not mean we don’t care- it is a way to show we care. Detach with love is a slogan from twelve step programs that packs a lot of wisdom. Detaching with love can liberate us from the constraints of expectations. Our attempts to serve others can always fail, causing disappointment, guilt, or shame...

Izumi Shikibu poem:
Although the wind
Blows terribly here
The moonlight also leaks
Between the roof planks
Of this ruined house.

I believe that we have to let life into our lives, let others into our lives, let the world into our lives, let love into our lives, and also let the night into our lives and not the let the roof over our heads- our knowing, our fear-keep out the moonlight. Altruism is exactly this permeability, this wall-less wilderness, this broken roof that lets the moonlight flood our ruined house, our suffering world.

John Paul Lederach, a sociologist and specialist in conflict transformation and peacebuilding…identified four kinds fostering our moral imagination in order to see the other as a person first, to see ourselves in others, and to recognize our common humanity…the first is “the grand-child imagination” where we should project ourselves into the future and see that our grandchildren and the grandchildren of our adversaries could easily have an intimate and common future. We need to cultivate the ability to imagine ourselves in a relational network that includes our adversaries. A form of cognitive empathy, it prompts us to work for the common good of all. The second kind is making not-knowing, ambiguity, curiosity, inquiry, and humility allies in the process of coming alongside others, those who are suffering, who are different from us. A third kind is one that allows us to see a different future…the ability to envision the future in a way that rehumanizes all the players and creates the opportunity for transformative change, even against all odds. This species of imagination points to resilient purpose and revolutionary patience, the capacity to be not afraid or impatient as we imagine a vaster horizon that we had believed possible. The fourth kind of imagination is the imagination of risk- the risk of not being attached to outcomes, the risk of sitting with the unknown, the risk of reaching out beyond divisions and meeting uncertainty with curiosity and strength. …when we dwell in the zone where the two ecologies of empathy and imagination overlap, we can include into our experience the diversity of life and are free to meet the companions of courage and surrender.

It’s well documented in the neuroscience literature that meditators have more mental plasticity and less stickiness (i.e. when thoughts stick or perseverate in the mind) than non-meditators. Meditation practice, along with unselfish motivation, can enhance our abilities to sense into our own subjective experience and the experience of others (empathy) yet to let go of thoughts and emotions more easily by automatically down-regulating our emotional response and seeing things afresh. One outcome of open monitoring or open awareness mediation seems to reduce our tendency to get stuck, this enhancing greater emotional pliancy….this mental flexibility supports us in making space internally as we encounter the suffering of another and also to stay clear about the distinction between self and other.

Perhaps we don’t slip into the skin of others so much as we invite others to inhabit us, to slip into our skin, into our hearts, this making ourselves bigger, more radically inclusive. Empathy is not only a way to come alongside suffering in out small boat, it is a way to become an ocean. I believe that the gift of empathy makes us larger- if we don’t drown in the waters of suffering. And empathy that is alchemized through the medium of our wisdom gives us the energy to act selfless on behalf of others.

“To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, and kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”
Howard Zinn

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing will change if it is not faced.” James Baldwin

The view of an inclusive identity and the truth of interconnectedness in Buddhums is expressed in the practice of metta where we can send lovingkindness, maitreya, to an “enemy.” The water protectors at Standing Rock, used a phrase “mitakuye oyasin” which means all my relations, a sign of respect and love, and is a an acknowledgement that we are all interconnected, ‘to everything and everybody else…to worms and slugs as well as eagles…to brambles and redwoods and rainbows…and to those people we would rather separate from ourselves with an ocean.’ For Buddhists, water is about clarity, purity, and calmness of mind and heart- qualities that make compassion possible. As I walked through the raw and rough Himalayas, I thought about how both the Lakota community and the indigenous people of Dolpo, Nepal have long held a great reverence for water; water as path; water as life-giver and carrier; water as purifier and nourisher…I heard inside myself the Lakota words mni wiconi- water is life. The Lakota say that the blood of grandmother earth is these waters, the source of all life. I reflected on Flint, its water poisoned by lead and racism also. At Standing Rock, their prayers included those who hurt them, pepper sprayed them, hosed them down with water…they genuinely included those people in their prayers… in the thirteenth century, Eihei Dogen wrote, “the mind is mountains, rivers, and the earth; the mind is the sun, the moon, and the stars.”

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, “compassion is not religious business; it is human business. It is not luxury…it is essential for human survival.” I am convinced compassion supports the survival of all species on our planet. Charles Darwin wrote about the importance of “sympathy”, what we would now call compassion. “In however complex a manner sympathy may have originated, as it is one of high importance to all those animals which aid and defend one another, it will have been increased through natural selection; for those communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest numbers of offspring.” He could have called it the “survival of the kindest.” It’s a theory that runs contrary to the cutthroat survival of the fittest paradigm that was actually Herbert Spencer’s oversimplification of natural selection.

Whether compassion is rooted deep in our biology or springs from our conscience, whether it is instinctual, intentional, or socially prescribed, we know from scientific research that compassion enhances the welfare of those receive compassion and the ones who are compassionate. It even benefits those who simply observe an act of compassion. It also enhances physical health; redcing inflammation, support immune function, speed recovery from illness, and lead to uncreased longevity. Compassion is one of those experiences that deeply affects the human heart, whether we give it, receive it, or observe it.

I have long felt compassion is central to being fully human. It is a key to reducing systemic oppression and nurturing a culture of respect, civility, and belonging. Goodness is inspiring, elevating, and fortunately, contagious. The importance of compassion for our survival and fundamental health is an insight that Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammed had thousands of years ago…maybe for some of us, science can point us back to who we really are.

The six Paramitas, or Perfections, of Buddhism are generosity, virtue, patience, wholeheartedness, concentration, and wisdom, giving us balance as we stand on the edge. The word “paramita can be translated to perfection or ‘crossing over to the other shore.’ The Perfections are both the path… and the realizations of the path. Each Perfection is an expression of our boundless heart and a special kind of medicine that cures afflictions of every kind. Each, in a sense, is a different facet of compassion.

[Karen Mcswain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what I needed at this moment in time.

[Aidan · Rating 2 out of 5]

At too many points for me the book was something I waded through rather than enjoyed. Many pieces of advice really didn’t feel like things I need. However there were times when I felt very at peace. Lastly for people that struggle with burnout, compassion and feeling fulfilled there are very useful sections contained toward the later part of the book.

[Teo · Rating 5 out of 5]

2019.04.06–2019.04.08

Contents

Halifax J (2018) (10:36) Standing at the Edge - Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet

Foreword

A View from the Edge
• Edge States
• No Mud, No Lotus
• Vast View
• Interdependence
• Futility and Courage

1. Altruism
• I. At the High Edge of Altruism
• • Self, Selfish, or Selfless?
• • Forgetting the Self
• II. Falling Over the Edge of Altruism: Pathological Altruism
• • Help That Harms
• • Healthy or Not?
• • Fire Lotus
• • Altruism Bias
• III. Altruism and the Other Edge States
• IV. Practices That Support Altruism
• • Practicing Not-Knowing
• • Practicing Bearing Witness
• • Compassionate Action
• V. Discovery at the Edge of Altruism
• • The Wooden Puppet and the Wounded Healer
• • Love

2. Empathy
• I. At the High Edge of Empathy
• • Somatic Empathy
• • Emotional Empathy
• • Cognitive Empathy
• • Take a Knee
• • Throughout the Body, Hands and Eyes
• II. Falling Over the Edge of Empathy: Empathic Distress
• • Empathy Is Not Compassion
• • Empathic Arousal
• • Emotional Blunting and Blindness
• • Between Gift and Invasion
• III. Empathy and the Other Edge States
• IV. Practices That Support Empathy
• • Deep Listening
• • Stewarding Empathy
• • The Practice of Rehumanization
• V. Discovery at the Edge of Empathy

3. Integrity
• I. Standing at the High Edge of Integrity
• • Moral Nerve and Radical Realism
• • Living by Vow
• II. Falling Over the Edge of Integrity: Moral Suffering
• • Moral Distress
• • The Pain of Moral Injury
• • Moral Outrage and the Stickiness of Anger and Disgust
• • Moral Apathy and the Death of the Heart
• III. Integrity and the Other Edge States
• IV. Practices That Support Integrity
• • Expanding the Circle of Inquiry
• • Vows to Live By
• • Practicing Gratefulness
• V. Discovery at the Edge of Integrity

4. Respect
• I. Standing at the High Edge of Respect
• • Respect for Others, Principles, and Ourselves
• • Two Hands Together
• • Washing the Feet of Others
• • Water Is Life
• II. Falling Over the Edge of Respect: Disrespect
• • Bullying
• • Horizontal Hostility
• • Internalized Oppression
• • Vertical Violence
• • Power With and Power Over
• • Stripped of Dignity
• • Angulimala
• • Causes and Effects
• III. Respect and the Other Edge States
• IV. Practices That Support Respect
• • The Drama Triangle
• • The Five Gatekeepers of Speech
• • Exchanging Self with Other
• V. Discovery at the Edge of Respect

5. Engagement
• I. At the High Edge of Engagement
• • Energy, Involvement, Efficacy
• • The Gift of Busyness
• II. Falling Over the Edge of Engagement: Burnout
• • Who Burns Out?
• • Addicted to Busyness
• • Drinking the Poison of Work Stress
• III. Engagement and the Other Edge States
• IV. Practices That Support Engagement
• • Work Practice
• • Practicing Right Livelihood
• • No Work Practice
• V. Discovery at the Edge of Engagement
• • Play
• • Connection

6. Compassion at the Edge
• I. Survival of the Kindest
• • Science and Compassion
• II. Three Faces of Compassion
• • Referential Compassion
• • Insight-Based Compassion
• • Non-Referential Compassion
• • Asanga and the Red Dog
• III. The Six Perfections
• IV. Compassion’s Enemies
• • The Arithmetic of Compassion
• • Falling In and Out of Compassion
• V. Mapping Compassion
• • Compassion Is Made of Non-Compassion Elements
• VI. Compassion Practice
• • Practicing GRACE
• VII. Compassion in the Charnel Ground
• • Harrowing from Hell
• • The Magic Mirror

Acknowledgments
Notes
Index

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listening to this book was profoundly meaningful. I've admired Roshi Joan Halifax for her balance of earthy sensibility and intentional spirit-ness (which I use distinctively from spirituality). The book examines five "edge-states": altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement. In recognition of Thich Nhat Hanh's wise caution: "no mud, no lotus", Halifax unpacks each of these edge-states to dig into when altruism goes awry, when we can suffer empathic distress, recognizing empathy as a precursor to compassion (but not compassion itself), when mouthing off is just sanctimony and not principled moral outrage (integrity), and so much more. It would be enough for her just to speak to her own experiences--as a social justice advocate, a volunteer at maximum security penitentiaries, a hospice caregiver, a medical anthropologist and psychologist, founder of the Upaya Zen Center, and probably half a dozen other things I don't even know about. She brings in amazing stories, but also grounds a lot of what she shares in neuroscience and psychology. Roshi Joan is quick to credit all the various figures from whom she has learned (formally, and informally), and it is worth listening to the acknowledgements at the end of the book, because she says each name with intentionality and it is a very impressive list. She integrates introductions to concepts like Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle, pathological altruism, the Hungry Ghost (in Buddhism), Darwin's original concept of natural selection unmodified by Spencer, David Halberstam's account of the self-immolation of Thích Quảng Đức in 1963, horizontal hostility/peer-aggression, Clark Strand's concept of meditating inside the life you have -- the list goes on. And even with all of this in there, her gentle but firm narration keeps it all digestible and meaningful.

Far from a feel-good self-help book, this is truly an honest investigation of what it is to be human. She offers some suggestions for practice, but ultimately she uses powerful metaphors (ending with a astounding story about her experiences at a charnel ground), storytelling, historical documentation, and scientific investigation, to help us grapple with our own condition(s). She holds up others: Fannie Lou Hamer, Florynce Kennedy, Laurance Rockefeller, and so many others. She shares their stories as well as her own. Roshi Joan offers a contemplative practice model to help guide us through these moments that challenge us at the edge, but one that is centered in active presence and acknowledgment of systemic injustice and our individual biases. This is not a stick-your-head-in-the-sand approach, but instead one of intentional centeredness to create spaces of mutuality and trust. I'll be returning to this often.

[Lille · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Mee" Joan Hailfax describes five states of the human experience that are integral to a worthwhile community as well as life. Those five states, altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement, require awareness and can lead to personal fulfilment as well as personal detriment. Joan Halifax guides the reader through examples of both, as well as explanations of the motives and tips on how to create fuller experiences and turn around negative ones.

Joan Halifax is such an impressive human being and obviously speaks from magnitudes of experience, those are the reasons I think I feel I should like this book more than I do.

I am missing the clarity in what she is saying, often I don't have the feeling I exactly understand her beyond the simpler message that she is conveying but I know she is going into more detail. the structure is just not working for me. I think it would have been easier for me to follow her thought if it were either a memoir or a guide, like this it felt too muddled.

On the other hand the book again and again gave me food for thought and encouraged discussions with my friends. I haven't picked up a book on serving other's before so there was also a lot of basic thought about my own values, experiences, and future plans. I am thankful for that.

[Hsandlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

As enjoyable and inspiring as some of the passages in this book may be, I always felt the author never exploring anything with much depth. It suffered from what a lot of Buddhist modernist books suffer from: in an attempt to be scientific and Buddhist, it’s not quite scientific and not quite Buddhist. Luckily, this book doesn’t lean on that relationship as much as a book like Why Buddhism Is True so it’s not a major hindrance. Most of the book is anecdotes, stories, and lessons learned from the authors life.

What you’re left with is some nice and surprisingly wholesome stories (despite how dark many of them are) and some lessons from a Buddhist monk. Only a few of the lessons really stuck with me, most I felt required more explanation that was never given. If you’re, like me, just looking for some surface layer and easily digestible Buddhist nonfiction then this book will serve you well. Otherwise, I’m not sure who I would recommend it to.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spiritual
So I read Brene Brown's "Braving the Wilderness" and Joan Halifax was mentioned in the book. And, being the life long learner that I am, Googled Joan Haifax for books they may have written. Now I am reading Standing at the Edge.
I am really appreciating this book. My first thoughts on positive things happening from disaster or so called bad events went to how people blame God and have difficulty believe that God really wants the best for us. Then I got a chance for another view of Altruism. I am appreciating the stories and am looking forward to the rest of the book.
By the way, I highly recommend reading "Braving the Wilderness."
Short and sweet:
I enjoyed the book very much and there are many good life lessons.
The book flow well.
Definitely read the book!
There are many good stories mixed in as well.

[Sami Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stumbled on this book in the library- I found it very helpful. Joan gives practical ways to remain balanced and in touch with your body and emotions. This is presented in a very gentle and non judgemental way, which as a former Christian I appreciate. I also learned a little about Buddhism, something I didn’t know much about before. I think I will purchase this book because it’s something I would like to refer to frequently.

[Erin Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm glad I read this book. It was something different for me. I don't know if I would call it "self help." It's more of a self-reflection book, and a good one to read at this point in time. It gave me a lot to think about, and I hope I'll remember to go back to some of the dog-earred pages when I need some perspective. I didn't give it 4 stars because it got a little preachy at times, which I think is inevitable in a book like this, so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but it's not my favorite thing to read in a book. But besides that, definitely some good food for thought.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Roshi Joan's book a little bit every day over several months, giving me time to meditate on the concepts she presents, and apply directly to my life. Over this time, I felt a great sense of calm coming over me. Her wise words about the true nature of altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and compassion has helped me greatly as a teacher of middle school. Take this beautiful and wise book to heart. You will see it for the gift it is.

[Camia Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly written, poetic insights, like glimmers of light. I found great insight in this book for my own personal work and life journey. Understanding the shadow sides of the core values I live by helped me to notice when Im losing sight of what it means to care for others as well as myself. This is a book I will read again and again, and recommend to many other change makers.

[Jmp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even with the best of intentions, there's a dark side to service. Joan carefully looks at Altruism, Empathy, Integrity, Respect, Engagement, and Compassion. Standing at the high edge, Falling over the edge, Practices for support, and Discovery. Wonderful book. Took me months to read it completely because I had to stop and process what I was reading.