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Body, Remember: A Memoir
In this poetic, introspective memoir, Kenny Fries illustrates his intersecting identities as gay, Jewish, and disabled. While learning about the history of his body through medical records and his physical scars, Fries discovers just how deeply the memories and psychic scars run. As he reflects on his relationships with his family, his compassionate doctor, the brother who resented his disability, and the men who taught him to love, he confronts the challenges of his life. Body, Remember is a story about connection, a redemptive and passionate testimony to one man’s search for the sources of identity and difference.
248 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
7 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
About the author
Kenny Fries
15 books16 followersKenny Fries received the prestigious Creative Capital literature grant for In the Province of the Gods. He is the author of Body, Remember: A Memoir and The History of My Shoes and the Evolution of Darwin’s Theory, winner of the Outstanding Book Award from the Gustavus Myers Center for the Study of Bigotry and Human Rights. He is the editor of Staring Back: The Disability Experience from the Inside Out and the author of the libretto for The Memory Stone, an opera commissioned by the Houston Grand Opera. His books of poems include Anesthesia, Desert Walking, and In the Gardens of Japan.
Kenny received the Creative Arts Fellowship from the Japan-U.S. Friendship Commission and the National Endowment for the Arts, has twice been a Fulbright Scholar (Japan and Germany), and has received grants from the DAAD (German Academic Exchange), Canada Council for the Arts, Ontario Arts Council, and Toronto Arts Council.
He teaches in the MFA in Creative Writing Program at Goddard College.
Kenny received the Creative Arts Fellowship from the Japan-U.S. Friendship Commission and the National Endowment for the Arts, has twice been a Fulbright Scholar (Japan and Germany), and has received grants from the DAAD (German Academic Exchange), Canada Council for the Arts, Ontario Arts Council, and Toronto Arts Council.
He teaches in the MFA in Creative Writing Program at Goddard College.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 2, 2008
Kenny Fries is, according to the overleaf of this book, "an encyclopedia of otherness: gay, Jewish, disabled..." He is also quite an amazing young man, and his entirely objective and unsentimental, but thoroughly riveting, autobiography tells the story of a genuine triumph of the human spirit over multiple adversity. Kenny was born with the most rudimentary of legs - each of them "no thicker than a finger" at birth, twisted, missing knee and ankle joints, culminating in stunted feet sprouting at odd angles from the
partially formed limbs. Although Kenny spent most of his childhood enduring endless operations to lengthen and strengthen his legs, eventually enabling him to walk with the use of crutches, this autobiography is astonishingly, wonderfully, refreshingly free of scenes involving parents at the hospital bedside of their frightened and fretful child, free of scenes describing the little moppet's tears as he endures painful physical therapy at home. All flashbacks of this variety are blessedly absent from this book - thank you very much, Kenny, that was a wise decision! - although there are a few sordid and painfully revealing recollections of his creepy older brother. For the most part, though, this memoir skims over Kenny's childhood, picking up steam at his coming of age in the 1960s as he embarks upon a solo journey to Israel to discover his roots -and the first loves of his adult life. Beautifully written! One warning to sensitive readers: I gave this book four stars instead of five due to a few scenes in which the locals plant pieces of "perfectly cooked", poisoned meat in their yards and streets "to poison the cats who wander down from the Arab section." FIE!!! Fortunately, this barbarism is limited to one or two chapters and is referred to only as a fact; its results, if Kenny ever witnessed them, are mercifully absent from this book as well. That said, this book is still very much worth reading - don't miss it!! (And especially don't miss the scene in which Kenny has the surreal experience of watching an arm-linked line of rabbinical apprentices dance the hora backwards while worshipping at the Wailing Wall!)
partially formed limbs. Although Kenny spent most of his childhood enduring endless operations to lengthen and strengthen his legs, eventually enabling him to walk with the use of crutches, this autobiography is astonishingly, wonderfully, refreshingly free of scenes involving parents at the hospital bedside of their frightened and fretful child, free of scenes describing the little moppet's tears as he endures painful physical therapy at home. All flashbacks of this variety are blessedly absent from this book - thank you very much, Kenny, that was a wise decision! - although there are a few sordid and painfully revealing recollections of his creepy older brother. For the most part, though, this memoir skims over Kenny's childhood, picking up steam at his coming of age in the 1960s as he embarks upon a solo journey to Israel to discover his roots -and the first loves of his adult life. Beautifully written! One warning to sensitive readers: I gave this book four stars instead of five due to a few scenes in which the locals plant pieces of "perfectly cooked", poisoned meat in their yards and streets "to poison the cats who wander down from the Arab section." FIE!!! Fortunately, this barbarism is limited to one or two chapters and is referred to only as a fact; its results, if Kenny ever witnessed them, are mercifully absent from this book as well. That said, this book is still very much worth reading - don't miss it!! (And especially don't miss the scene in which Kenny has the surreal experience of watching an arm-linked line of rabbinical apprentices dance the hora backwards while worshipping at the Wailing Wall!)
November 8, 2012
I actually met Kenny Fries when he was an instructor at Goddard College, i'm ashamed to say, my first reaction was fear, at his otherness, and fear of his talent and intellect. I had to order this on ILL>
I was so curious about his disability. From a wreckage of a childhood fraught w/ surgeries, dr visits, chaos, KF writes a knowing and honest account of being disabled, gay, and Jewish. I certainly understand much more than before, and his writing is quite lovely.
I was so curious about his disability. From a wreckage of a childhood fraught w/ surgeries, dr visits, chaos, KF writes a knowing and honest account of being disabled, gay, and Jewish. I certainly understand much more than before, and his writing is quite lovely.
May 11, 2024
Very poorly written book that is one-third disability life story, one-third Jewish travelogue, and one-third gay AIDS melodrama. None of the parts are well done and all suffer from the author's inability to tell a narrative without constant interruption or self-pity.
The first section is the worst, with Fries failing to be able to put into understandable words the lower-limb disability he has or what he went through. His written descriptions are visual and in need of illustrations or photos. How can you publish a memoir about something the eye needs to see and yet not include a photo? The only picture is an unflattering head shot on the inside jacket that disputes his saying about a dozen times how handsome other people say he is.
The portion of the book in Israel is confusing and difficult to follow. He makes an assumption that we know about the region, its cities, and traditional Jewish practices. He begins to have a lot of gay sex while there, and that supposedly caused a lot of moral conflict. But the author does a horrible job explaining his internal feelings and those of the married men he slept with.
He settles with a boyfriend in San Francisco and is upset to discover the guy lied about sleeping around. Faced with the boyfriend's HIV positive status, Fries does what all good moral gay boyfriends do--starts to sleep with others himself! Makes sense? While he complains about all of the men he beds never being monogamous, the author is guilty of the same sins.
Throughout the pages he does a bad job weaving the tale of his dysfunctional family, including a brother who is accused of raping him repeatedly in childhood and a violent father. Soon Fries is in a psych ward (at least twice, though it's hard to keep track since the storytelling ability is so bad that the reader is never sure how often or for how long). The author doesn't deal head-on with his mental illness and acts like the psych ward was just a quick vacation to get some rest.
He wastes a whole lot of space on minutia and some of the details seem preposterous. He uses quotes throughout the book, probably filling one-third or more of the pages, but they would be impossible to recall in such depth, especially from his childhood. While these may be his recollections, they are from the mind of a mentally ill writer and certainly are far from factual. He gives no evidence of being able to prove most of the negative things he writes about family, the medical community, and outsiders that mock his disability.
In the hands of a good writer who understands the importance of narrative depth, this may have been a fascinating or even inspiring read; but the way this guy remembers his body makes it a wasted opportunity and reinforces a mental illness that is worse than his physical disability.
The first section is the worst, with Fries failing to be able to put into understandable words the lower-limb disability he has or what he went through. His written descriptions are visual and in need of illustrations or photos. How can you publish a memoir about something the eye needs to see and yet not include a photo? The only picture is an unflattering head shot on the inside jacket that disputes his saying about a dozen times how handsome other people say he is.
The portion of the book in Israel is confusing and difficult to follow. He makes an assumption that we know about the region, its cities, and traditional Jewish practices. He begins to have a lot of gay sex while there, and that supposedly caused a lot of moral conflict. But the author does a horrible job explaining his internal feelings and those of the married men he slept with.
He settles with a boyfriend in San Francisco and is upset to discover the guy lied about sleeping around. Faced with the boyfriend's HIV positive status, Fries does what all good moral gay boyfriends do--starts to sleep with others himself! Makes sense? While he complains about all of the men he beds never being monogamous, the author is guilty of the same sins.
Throughout the pages he does a bad job weaving the tale of his dysfunctional family, including a brother who is accused of raping him repeatedly in childhood and a violent father. Soon Fries is in a psych ward (at least twice, though it's hard to keep track since the storytelling ability is so bad that the reader is never sure how often or for how long). The author doesn't deal head-on with his mental illness and acts like the psych ward was just a quick vacation to get some rest.
He wastes a whole lot of space on minutia and some of the details seem preposterous. He uses quotes throughout the book, probably filling one-third or more of the pages, but they would be impossible to recall in such depth, especially from his childhood. While these may be his recollections, they are from the mind of a mentally ill writer and certainly are far from factual. He gives no evidence of being able to prove most of the negative things he writes about family, the medical community, and outsiders that mock his disability.
In the hands of a good writer who understands the importance of narrative depth, this may have been a fascinating or even inspiring read; but the way this guy remembers his body makes it a wasted opportunity and reinforces a mental illness that is worse than his physical disability.
June 28, 2018
Bette, Elkton patron, June 2018, 4 stars:
The true story of a young boy/man who was born with deformed legs. He only grew to be five feet tall and had great difficulty walking. He was abused by his older brother who resented him and his father abused both boys. He grew to be a writer and was homosexual. Had many partners until finding true love. It was interesting to see life from his point of view.
The true story of a young boy/man who was born with deformed legs. He only grew to be five feet tall and had great difficulty walking. He was abused by his older brother who resented him and his father abused both boys. He grew to be a writer and was homosexual. Had many partners until finding true love. It was interesting to see life from his point of view.
January 5, 2020
This is such a wonderful book!
February 24, 2017
Kenny Fries' memoir, "Body, Remember" sets forth an intriguing story. To begin with - and at the heart of Fries' personal history - he is disabled; born into an orthodox Jewish family, with legs that are too small, angles distorted. As he grows, his legs do not keep the pace, and he is forced to endure several treatments to correct their growth. As a child through his teenage years, he is scarred not only physically but emotionally by these treatments, and perhaps because of his differences from other children his age and his family's inability to know how to appropriately reconcile themselves to his condition, he is abused - not only by words, but by actions, especially by his father and his brother (who subsequently sexually abuses him).
In time, Fries understands that he is also gay. During a trip to Jerusalem - the motherland/city of his heritage and religion, he attempts to reconcile being gay with his own person ancestry and history. He meets several Jewish gay men there who, because of their religion, have resigned themselves to carrying out their lives in secret while, on the outside, they consistently masquerade as men hoping to marry and raise a family. Throughout this trip, as well as later on, Fries finds himself meeting several different men, trying to trust that they can be happy and satisfied with him and his disability. He tells of going through a relationship during the beginning of the AIDS crisis, with a lover who tests positive.
All of this definitely paints a story, and obviously a struggle, that doesn't seem rosy or optimistic by any means. At first glance, Fries's book and the stories of his struggles over time as he tries to get his body to "remember" things that, while painful, help him to make some sense and piece together his life really intrigued me - but ultimately, left me disappointed. I got about 2/3 of the way through this memoir and was ready to finish it. I felt much of Fries' writing was very disjointed; as a result, he didn't make me too sympathetic to him. I didn't feel a sense of resolution, understanding or closure by the end - which may have been intentional, I'm not sure. It felt like a book of questions that, instead of gradually getting answered, just built to more of a crescendo of questions toward the end. I'm sorry that it didn't grip or interest me as much as I had hoped it would. I think Fries has a personal story worth telling, but this book just felt flat and un-engaging.
I had a hard time writing this review because I honestly didn't know how to feel about this book, overall, when I finished the final page - a somewhat guilty part of me felt bad that I didn't "feel more" for his plight. I might err toward giving this book 2.5 stars, but will keep it squarely at 2 on Good Reads.
In time, Fries understands that he is also gay. During a trip to Jerusalem - the motherland/city of his heritage and religion, he attempts to reconcile being gay with his own person ancestry and history. He meets several Jewish gay men there who, because of their religion, have resigned themselves to carrying out their lives in secret while, on the outside, they consistently masquerade as men hoping to marry and raise a family. Throughout this trip, as well as later on, Fries finds himself meeting several different men, trying to trust that they can be happy and satisfied with him and his disability. He tells of going through a relationship during the beginning of the AIDS crisis, with a lover who tests positive.
All of this definitely paints a story, and obviously a struggle, that doesn't seem rosy or optimistic by any means. At first glance, Fries's book and the stories of his struggles over time as he tries to get his body to "remember" things that, while painful, help him to make some sense and piece together his life really intrigued me - but ultimately, left me disappointed. I got about 2/3 of the way through this memoir and was ready to finish it. I felt much of Fries' writing was very disjointed; as a result, he didn't make me too sympathetic to him. I didn't feel a sense of resolution, understanding or closure by the end - which may have been intentional, I'm not sure. It felt like a book of questions that, instead of gradually getting answered, just built to more of a crescendo of questions toward the end. I'm sorry that it didn't grip or interest me as much as I had hoped it would. I think Fries has a personal story worth telling, but this book just felt flat and un-engaging.
I had a hard time writing this review because I honestly didn't know how to feel about this book, overall, when I finished the final page - a somewhat guilty part of me felt bad that I didn't "feel more" for his plight. I might err toward giving this book 2.5 stars, but will keep it squarely at 2 on Good Reads.
May 4, 2010
Sigh, I wanted to like this, but the writing style was so hokey and disjointed. If you are reading this review and you have a book to recommend on disability, particularly a memoir or a novel about the disability experience, please let me know.
I think some interesting issues were explored here- particularly the intercontextuality of being disabled, jewish and gay. But I felt they were only explored at the surface. I wanted something much deeper, and I just couldn't get past the writing enough to enjoy it.
I think some interesting issues were explored here- particularly the intercontextuality of being disabled, jewish and gay. But I felt they were only explored at the surface. I wanted something much deeper, and I just couldn't get past the writing enough to enjoy it.
July 18, 2007
A stark, unabashed memoir written in clear and precise prose.
April 20, 2014
Oh so good in a post-traumatic of my own life sort of way. I wrote out a favorite paragraph and pinned it up on my writing board.
November 19, 2008
Thought I should read this because of a few friends I met in college:)
October 8, 2014
Very good.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews