Freak

by Erin Lee

Regret Comes in Every Color of the Rainbow Based on Erin Lee’s novella, Her Name Was Sam, Freak is the story of Kelly and Morgan, the mother and sister of Sam Harris, in the aftermath of her suicide. Bullied for being brave enough to show her true colors to the world, Sam has been gone exactly one year and Kelly and Morgan are left to tackle the grief that comes with regret in her absence. But Sam’s story is far from over… Through the love of Willow, a teenager intent on standing up for her “Freak” best friend at all costs, Ryan is able to finally come out to family and friends. His transformation from ashamed to proud with Willow’s help gives new meaning to Sam’s story and how things could have been. Because love comes in all shades too.

262 pages, Paperback

Published May 30, 2017

About the author

Erin Lee is a USA TODAY bestselling multi genre author and therapist chasing a crazy dream one crazy story at a time. She also writes under the name EL George.

She is the author of Crazy Like Me, a novel published in 2015 by Savant Books and Publications, LLC,, Wave to Papa, 2015, by Limitless Publishing, LLC and Nine Lives (2016). She’s also author of Alters, Host, and Merge of the “Lola, Party of Eight Series,” When I’m Dead, 99 Bottles and too many other titles to count.

She penned the award-winning Freak, an LGBTQ awareness novella and Losing Faith, a novella with Black Rose Writing.

Lee has published numerous magazine articles, particularly on the topic of mental illness and works tirelessly to help end stigma around psychological conditions. She holds a master’s degree in psychology and works with at-risk families and as a court appointed special advocate. She often writes about real life people and situations she encounters in this work; which can be more horrific than any horror movie or documentary.

Lee is most well known as author of the DIARY OF A SERIAL KILLER SERIES with Zombie Cupcake Press and From Russia, With Love with Bella Tulip Publishing and many more.

She believes in supporting other authors and experimenting with new genres. Her passion is reaching people through their stories.

Reviews

[Yesha- Books Teacup and Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

*** Note: I received review copy of this book from the author, via Lola’s Blog Tour, in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to author and Lola. ***

Freak is based on Erin Lee’s novella, ‘Her Name Was Sam’ but I’m telling it can be read standalone as I haven’t read novella and I didn’t feel anywhere that I’m missing something that might have mentioned in first book.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Have I said this word for enough time? No, it’s simply beautiful that I want to keep saying this. And in the beginning only I’m telling that everyone should read this book.

Author’s note in the beginning gave pretty good idea about book and why author has written it. There is warning by author saying it’s not for teens who are not prepared to handle heavy topics like suicide, bullies, and crime or should read under guidance of adults.

The book is mainly about LGBTQ teens. Their struggle with gender identity or as gay, bisexual or asexual; their fight against bullies and for acceptance in the world and even by family that doesn’t understand ‘different’ word; their feeling of loneliness and unsupported speaks the volume which leads to suicidal tendencies.

In just 2 chapters this book became my favorite. I just loved writing of Erin Lee. It was so smooth, emotional and so addictive that I will read anything by this author. Story basically was divided in 2 parts. So, I will review it accordingly.

Characters- Amazing! I have said in detail how characters were like and what I loved most about them in both parts. But superficially, all characters were with flaws even my favorite Sam. In both parts there were characters who should have taken actions earlier and could have prevent the damage. No one was perfect and still were likable. I could see author has given whole lot of time to these characters. Among both the parts Sam was my ultimate favorite character. Development of characters was really good the way they handle themselves after all that happened, the steps they took was good.

Read full review here

Conclusion- Overall, awesome book with lot of lessons to learn through deep intense thoughts of characters. There is something to learn for everyone. So, just read it and I’m sure you won’t regret it. And on final thought I hate bullies. :/

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh Holy cow! This is a book every young person, well honestly every person should read. It's so full of honesty & it will give you the feels so hard. It really makes you think & opens your mind. Sometimes you don't realize that one word can change someones entire perspective on life.
I can honestly say, it was one of the best books I've read this year so far.
I absolutely positively loved this book.

[Mayu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got the review copy in I think May of last year, and it’s already March of this year, I really don’t why I took so long to get to this book, like why????. Freak is just such an awesome read. It could have easily been one of my best reads of 2017, if I had read it in 2017. But Anyways it has already secured a spot in my best reads of 2018.

Freak is divided into two main parts, the first part is the story of Sam, one year after her sucide and second part is the story of Willow and Ryan. Now, Sam and Willow are connected, but how? For that you need to read the story.

I think people like me who are “normal” in the eyes of society would never understand what kids like Sam go through and how much pain they are in. The only thing that Sam ever wanted was to be accepted, to be accepted for who she is. Through Kelly and Morgan’s pov’s we get to know so much about their regrets and how things could have been different.

Second part of the book, is the story of Ryan. He has also been through somewhat similar humiliation and insult as Sam’s, but this time things ended in a different way. Ryan’s story is really beautiful, and the way Willow and her mom stood by him is really remarkable even when his own parents were against him.

Final words

I highly recommend this book. Please go and read this book, it is a really short book and won’t take much of your time, but what you will take away from this book would be a lifetime experience. This book is definitely going to remain in your mind and your heart for a long time.

[Nichole Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is one that tugged at my heart. It was raw and real and written with such emotion that I know this story will truly stick with me long after reading it. These characters will make you feel every little thing they do with the powerful writing of this amazing author.

[Tommi Crow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartbreaking tale of suicide and how it affects the one's left behind.

This is a story about Sam. On second thought it's a story of Kelly, Sam's mom, and Morgan, Sam's little sister, and how Sam's suicide affects them. This is a highly emotional tale where you find your heart going out to all involved. This story had me running the gamut of emotions.

If you have anyone you care about that is a member of the LGBTQ community? Do yourself a favor and read this book.

[Gemma Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shockingly, I have not read Her Name was Sam. (I know I need to fix that!) Freak is such an amazing book, The way Sam talks to us from ‘Cloud Space’ (a kind of in between heaven) is so touching. To hear all of the emotions the whole family went through in the aftermath of Sams suicide is heart rendering. Sam is a beautiful person who just couldn’t find her place in a world that shuns difference.

Reading about how her mother and sister felt about Sam while she was alive and the feelings that still felt once she had gone, was written in such an honest way. I shed a few tears reading this book.

Willows story is the flip side to Sam she was meant to be Willow and her best friend Ryan is the ‘Freak’ in their tale. It was painful to watch Willow almost make the same mistakes that Sam’s family and friends made while she was alive. But , thankfully, Ryan with some help from his new love interest and his best friend, was able to come out and be proud of being a ‘Freak.’

I loved this book, The topic covered is so relevant. I really believe everyone should read FREAK. It really makes you think about what you say to others and the effect your words could have on that person.

Another wonderful read by Erin Lee. Is there a genre she cannot master?

5 STARS for this book and I recommend a box of tissues as well!

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Her Name was Sam, I was very excited to continue her story. I was touched by all that she had been through and how eager she was to be able to start again as Willow.
Freak started off with Ryan and his very serious struggles. My heart ached for him and all he was made to endure. There was a courage within him and a strength of which he was seemingly unaware. Willow was always doing her best to support him and help him through everything. Their friendship was very special.
I loved the flow of the story. I wanted nothing but happiness for Ryan as it went along. I appreciated the acceptance that Willow and Sarah were able to give him. The ending was very heart-warming and gave me hope. Freak was a terrific story that could help guide others who share Ryan's struggles.

[Betwixt the Pages · Rating 4 out of 5]

Regret Comes in Every Color of the Rainbow Based on Erin Lee’s novella, Her Name Was Sam, Freak is the story of Kelly and Morgan, the mother and sister of Sam Harris, in the aftermath of her suicide. Bullied for being brave enough to show her true colors to the world, Sam has been gone exactly one year and Kelly and Morgan are left to tackle the grief that comes with regret in her absence. But Sam’s story is far from over… Through the love of Willow, a teenager intent on standing up for her “Freak” best friend at all costs, Ryan is able to finally come out to family and friends. His transformation from ashamed to proud with Willow’s help gives new meaning to Sam’s story and how things could have been. Because love comes in all shades too.

Rating: 4/5 Penguins
Quick Reasons: loveloveLOVE the juxtaposition of colors; really, this whole novel is a juxtaposition; the experimentation with the paranormal/death was heart-breaking and well-done; complex, well-written characters; love to love the love; this read was not what I was expecting going in

Huge thanks to Erin Lee and Lola's Blog Tours for sending me a free digital galley of this title in exchange for a voluntary honest review! This in no way altered my read of or opinions on this book.

Slight trigger warning for sensitive readers: the first half of this book is, at times, a bit difficult to read. Mature subjects such as suicide, grief, and bullying are woven into this story, so please keep this in mind if you're bothered by or uncomfortable with reading such things. While the subjects are handled with sensitivity and tact, these characters do struggle with and are surrounded by them daily--so please, keep yourselves safe while reading! That being said, these characters are gorgeously written. I really loved how Erin Lee juxtaposed this entire novel--in the first part, looking at a family dealing with grief after the suicide of a loved one. In the second, a family banding together to try and heal a dear friend. This method of compare and contrast was gorgeously handled--and so thought-provoking to read!

Sam smelt like watermelon cucumber--the flavor of her favorite hand lotion. Now, the paper just smells as bland as a fragile memory.

The use of colors throughout was also beautifully done, though I feel it might have been even more intriguing if the colors that head each chapter were the ONLY colors mentioned in that passage. Of course, this is mostly wishful thinking--I know how difficult it is, as a writer, to try and limit oneself like that, and can't imagine trying to pull it off. Still, I found it interesting that, in the first section of this read (for Sam) the colors are described normally--the names are common, like orange, red, yellow. In the second section (for Willow) the colors have vibrant, alternative names--things like citrus and plum. Each section, however, shares two very distinct colors--black and white. This is sort of a yin-yang way to wrap each section up--and tie the two halves of the novel together.

This novel was a gorgeous, though challenging, read--and I thoroughly enjoyed the way Erin Lee wove this story together. While it tugged at heartstrings and, at times, hurt to read... I came out of this with a different viewpoint. The juxtaposition was a really effective, beautiful way to pair and piece these characters together. I definitely recommend to lovers of beautifully complex personalities, the realities of emotional turmoil, and reads that pack a moral punch. Take a paintbrush to the world, Penguins; this rainbow's bound to stick with you.

[J. d'Merricksson · Rating 5 out of 5]

***This book was reviewed via Lola's Blog Tours

Erin Lee’s Freak is a poignant tale of loss, acceptance, and second chances. This powerful story should be required high-school reading. No, strike that. Why mollycoddle middle-schoolers who can be just as spiteful as high-schoolers and ignorant adults, especially given the current political climate of the US. Perhaps it would engender more open-minded behaviour.

Part one of this heart-wrenching novel follows the family of Sam in the wake of her suicide. Sam had spent much of her scarce twenty years of life being considered a 'freak’. You are given clues as to why, but it's not til the end of her section that you learn the full truth. It has been a year since Sam passed, and her mother and sister are still struggling with the aftermath, and the regrets of not being supportive. Throughout each of these chapters, we have Sam speaking a lá The Lovely Bones, from a place she calls cloud space, where certain souls wait before being assigned a new life. Sam is just on the verge of being reborn.

The second half of the book follows Willow, whose best friend Ryan is labelled as a ‘freak’ for having gone through a goth phase in middle-school. Ryan is gay, but does his utmost to hide it. These chapters bounce between Ryan, Willow, and Willow's mum, Sarah. Willow and Sarah are open and accepting, but don't understand why Ryan doesn't just come out to his parents, and at school. They believe it may quell the bullying behaviour. At the least, they wish he would tell the guidance counselor or principal of the bullying, which isn't just emotional, but physical.

Ryan frustrated, feeling people wouldn't understand. Indeed, his mum seems quite set that Ryan and Willow will get married someday and have kids. Yet, Willow’s (and Willow's parents') acceptance of all that Ryan is mean the difference between life and death, and how he copes. Willow keeps him grounded. Her support helps him to eventually come out, with mixed results. But not only does he have Willow, he now has James and is working to cultivate that relationship.

This book made me cry, and frustrated me in equal measure. I'm not LGBTQ, but I do know what it is to grow up being labelled as a 'freak’. I'm a strong introvert, and a strong empath, as well as being therian, something little known and understood, except outside certain spiritual groups.. People and their penchant for vile behaviour hurts me, no matter who it's directed at. I want to fix it, but a young child can't. So, I preferred to hide with my books, and garnered the label of 'overly sensitive’ as well.

Now, I do help when I can. I've always been pretty open-minded. I can admit today that I hold a strong prejudice about one thing though- wilful ignorance. I've known plenty of people who were of the LGBTQ community, and people of all manner of cultures and spiritualities/religions. I love it all. It's like Vulcan’s IDIC in Star Trek. Infinite diversity in infinite combinations. If everyone were the same, that'd be hella boring. I'm all for anything that raises awareness of how destructive close-minded, ridiculing, and bullying behaviour can be. Kudos to Erin, and all those like her, who write about this, and are actively available for young adults learning to cope with the nastiness of others while still maintaining who they are.

📚📚📚📚📚

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Today I finished this fantastic book by Erin Lee. The story Erin writes is very real. It's wrote in a way that is appropriate for all ages. The storyline is a difficult one to discuss but the story needs to be told.
Sam throughout the whole first part of the book the author never comes right out and say that Sam is a transgender male. The author hits heavily on the family unit and what it is like to be a sibling of a transgender. The author uses the word "Freak" to define what people thought about Sam. The author don't come right out and say Sam was a male until almost the end of the story. Unfortunately, Sam's family knew she was different and over the years her sisters Morgan had grown to try to understand Sam. Sam did not hide that she was different, she ware outrageously bright clothes and made everyone notice her. Sam's mother couldn't handle or admit out loud that Sam was who she was until it was too late.
Erin Lee tells Sam's story from a reincarnation point of view. The pain Sam feels up in the clouds waiting to be reborn. Then Sam's rebirth as a girl named Willow and how she helps her friend Ryan to come out of the closet about being gay. Willow's mother called her an old soul because of her understanding of life.
This book is a fantastic read for teens who have problems with bullying and identity crisis. Suicide is high in teens with these issues.

[Paula Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every now and again you find an author that isn't afraid to touch on the edgy topics of life, those that most writers run away from. Ellen Hopkins was one of those authors who could write it perfectly and now up on that list is Erin Lee. I have read several of Erin Lee's books each touching on a different topic. Freak turned out to be like a Book #2 or 1.5 depending on how you look at it. I have yet to read the first one, but Freak takes place a year after Sam killed herself. Sam, as we learn, was transgender, she was born Samuel but always thought she should have been a girl and changed her name to Samantha aka Sam. Though she never showed it, she was bullied which later led to her suicide. Now one year on, Sam's family are still going through things and the motions. We read as Sam's mom Kelly takes her first visit in a Pride parade and Morgan's school experiences. Sam watches her family from a place known as the afterlife. As Sam believed in reincarnation, the author has put this in Freak and Sam is reincarnated. Though she is on the other side of the coin now as her best friend Ryan when she is now Willow is going through what she did. Can Sam as Willow save Ryan from making the same choices as she did in her previous life? Find out in this quick and powerful read by Erin Lee. I can't wait now after finishing Freak to go back and check out Book #1 Her Name Was Sam.

[Rena Marin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewing for Sweet Southern Book Reviews by Skylar and Rena

This story was amazing. From the opening I felt it tugging at my heart strings and making me question my own parenting. The hurt and regret that Kelly struggled with was written so well it was as if you were feeling it along with her. Morgan's attempts to deal with both her emotions of losing her sister, and of trying to cope with life as a teenager whose sister was different, were so real that you could imagine yourself in her shoes. Sam and her visions from cloud space were in ways the most touching. Her love for her family shone through as did her concern for what would become of them. It truly opens your eyes to what goes through the mind of a teenager or anyone for that matter that feels different or alone.

Ryan and Willow story showed how life could go full circle and the difference having support and love in your life can have on someone in a difficult situation. Ryan having others for support made his situation much different and opened your heart to both him and his dear friend Willow.

The author did an amazing job. I found myself in tears many times. I would highly recommend this book!

[Ebony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an AMAZING and inspiring story!!!

Erin Lee has outdid herself with the stories of Sam and Willow!!! This one soul is one of the brightest that I have had the pleasure of reading about in a really long time. Erin Lee tells this story in 2 parts and it is really cool how she shares the story of this amazing soul!!! This story is jam-packed with so much emotion. It really leaves the reader with a fresh outlook on people who you may consider different or "freaks." This is such a beautiful story and I really think that it should be read and shared with everyone!!!

I highly recommend this book and hope that readers take the time to really soak in the message of love and acceptance that Erin Lee is sharing with us. This truly is one the best reads of 2017 for me!!!

[Carissa Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover alone is enough reason to buy this book. It's breathtaking! But what's inside....what's inside is even more beautiful. I was an emotional wreck as I read this - its sad but at the same time, uplifting. This book will shape you, change you. I loved every line. Willow was an incredible character (she is based on Her Name is Sam, which I haven't read but that didn't cause any hiccups in my reading). And there's also Ryan, a beautiful "freak". The character development and writing were superb, but most of all, the story itself is one you will never forget. Now I need to backtrack and read Sam's original story.
This is one of my top faves of 2017, no doubt!!!

[Shelby W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, how this story has gripped my heart. There are no words I can write which can express how much this book has touched my entire being. This story was so genuine and well-written. A book, all should have on their bookshelf or Kindle. Another thing I love about Author Lee's writings is she ends her books with helpful resources that can be used by the reader, what an awesome idea!

[Carol Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very thought provoking story. It caused in me many emotions the biggest one being pissed. This was because even Sam's mom and sister called her freak. Tis book should be a must read in the schools to teach the children what it's like being different and bullying can cause. And maybe then the world will start to change. I recommend this book for everyone.

[booklover · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 out of 5 stars.
I so wanted to give this 5 stars BUT.....It ends at 80% and I feel so much could've been added in the missing 20% of the book. It's also only a 4 as I've tried so hard to get "Her Name Was Sam" but to no avail and feel reading that first would have been better.
Overall though it was a really good read.

[Mona williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

omg i just loved this book! talk about hitting the nail on the head! i loved how it talked about the many colors of life and death. it tells a story of how they dealt with a death and how it all happened. thanks for giving me a chance to read this book!

[Meleaha Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing story! This story is all about acceptance. Sam's mother and sister go over their regrets after it is too late. Then it goes through what Willow faces with her best friend.

[Tabitha Hartman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved this book!! It talks about the horrible bulling that happens to our children when they are different.. and how we all have and live with regrets but its how you deal with them that makes the difference. I truly think this series should be read in schools, it is so heartbreaking and emotional but true in this day and age... sadly... I know my teenage daughter will be reading this!!

[Laura Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot begin to tell you just how happy I am that I requested a review copy. I was pulled into the story from the very first page and was kept hanging on until the end. This beautifully written tale tells a story that simply should not be occurring in this day and age. I could not even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose a child in such a manner. This book should be used as a teaching tool so that people learn how to love one another no matter race or gender and as an anti-bullying tool as well.

This book should be read by everyone but be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of a lifetime.

{I requested a copy for reviewing purposes only and made no guarantee of a favorable review. The opinions expressed here are unbiased and my own.}

[Lola]

Join the book blitz for LBGT Contemproary Young Adult book: Freak by Erin Lee. This book blitz runs from 27 June till 3 July. Review copies are available in e-format for reviewers during the tour or within two months of release day.

[Mary S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my God since I started reading  Freak I haven't  stop weeping like crazy I'm feeling Kelly, Morgan and especially Sam pain just I feel so much for what Sam went through for this world where they can not accept the person she was born to be. I just felt too much for their loss their pain I just hope she found her happiness in her other life. Now for Ryan and Willow it was a little bit light Ryan fought to find his ground and I'm happy that he had Willow to get passed his troubles with people who can't accept a person for being different for being who they want to be. This was just so emotional a read and so very real.