Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting

by Terrie Williams

Black people are dying everywhere we turn, in the faces we see and the headlines we read, and we feel emotional pain, but we don't know how to tackle it— it's time to recognize it and work through our trauma.

Terrie had made it: she had launched her own public relations company with such clients as Eddie Murphy and Johnnie Cochran. Yet she was in constant pain, waking up in terror, overeating in search of relief. For thirty years she kept on her game face of success, exhausting herself daily to satisfy her clients' needs while neglecting her own. When she finally collapsed, she had no clue what was wrong or if there was a way out.

She learned her problem had a name—depression—and that many suffered from it, limping through their days, hiding their hurt. As she healed, her mission became clear: break the silence of this crippling taboo and help those who suffer, especially in the black community.

Black Pain identifies emotional pain—which uniquely and profoundly affects the black experience—as the root of lashing out through desperate acts of crime, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, workaholism, and addiction to shopping, gambling, and sex. Few realize these destructive acts are symptoms of our inner sorrow.

In Black Pain , Terrie has inspired the famous and the ordinary to speak out and mental health professionals to offer solutions. The book is a mirror turned on you. Do you see yourself and your loved ones here? Do the descriptions of how the pain looks, feels, and sounds seem far too familiar? Now you can do something about it. The help the community needs is here: a clear explanation of our troubles and a guide to finding relief through faith, therapy, diet, and exercise, as well as through building a supportive network and eliminating toxic people.

Black Pain encourages us to face the truth about the issue that plunges our spirits into darkness, so that we can step into the healing light. You are not on the ledge alone.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Race, Self Help, History, Memoir

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Alicia (PrettyBrownEyeReader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is full of information, testimonies, quotes and resources to understand depression in Black people. It can be overwhelming. It is best to read a chapter at a time and reflect on it.

[Shanene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful, life-changing book!

Black Pain blew me away! No book has ever explained depression so well before. It is so thorough you really have to absorb and reflect on everything you learn from this book.

I thought I knew people, but I realize I don’t know the half. You just never know what someone is struggling with. So many people are in deep mental and emotional pain right in our midst with no clue what to do about it. It’s so important that those hurting know that they are not alone, that they can come out of their darkness and get the healing they deserve. Black Pain delivers the inspiration and encouragement that so many need to take the first step. And because of this book I now make it a point to deal with people with a whole new sensitivity and consideration.

[Monica Coleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This books reminds people that many African-Americans hide the pain that they experience. With endorsements and stories from scores of celebrities, Williams really takes the mask off of stress, pain and depression. She shares her own story and offers many resources for where people can get help. An important contribution to the field!

[Dion Cordero · Rating 4 out of 5]

Go this book when I self-diagnosed myself as someone dealing with depression. This was back in 2011 after a professional setback. This book helped me understand myself and assessed my situation. After weeks of stress eating and not going out, I was able to get through it and face life's challenges with an open heart and a big smile! First step of healing is acknowledging!

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked and disliked this book. There were many aspects of this book that I could relate to as a Black woman who has experienced bouts of depression. I love the way the author describes what depression is like. I think it provides a great perspective especially for people that have never experienced it. I used some of her quotes / descriptions to share with those around me what I was going through. What I did not like was they way that the condition was attributed so much to race and environment and oppression. I, personally, do not feel that it is that general and I think that to believe that would then require one to believe that as long as you remain a black woman living in a while world you are not able to release the "pain". I also believe that the generalizations make it seem like there are no other races or genders experiencing this pain. For me, this would be an excellent book if it was just about "Silent Pain" that individuals experience and sometimes get stuck in for various internal and external reasons. Nonetheless I would recommend this book.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someone recommended this book to me, and I am glad they did. I applaud Williams strength and courage to shed light on this topic. This was a very powerful read for me. Very enlightening. Depression doesn't descriminate against anyone. I was amazed how this condition affects so many people. Young and old alike.

Williams shares the testimony of other people, some names you'll recognize, who experienced depression. Their stories too, are quite inspiring. I felt Williams, did a wonderful job of describing the symptoms of depression and the treatments that are available for it. Don't be ashamed. In order to fix a problem, one have to give identification to it-- with the hopes of find the root cause of it.

[Ploetzly]

I've read the introduction, and the forward by Mary J Blige. I am really interested in the pychologoical aspects of racism, the subtle affects. this book is written from a first person perspective of a sucessfull black woman's struggle with depression and how to get out of it. Also that a lot of black people don't talk about depression is interesting to me (not that a whole lot of white people do, but more maybe, therapy is more accepted).

[Imani · Rating 5 out of 5]

everyone, but especially Black people, need to read this book! it is of the utmost importance considering how many of our people are plagued with mental illnesses and are not receiving help. Williams touches on various aspects of Black mental illnesses including how they manifest, symptoms, treatment options, how we can go about showing up for ourselves and others, and much more. i saw myself and/or my loved ones in those pages. such an essential read!

[Teo]

Leaving this unrated as I’m not the target audience, though I think this would be valuable for everyone. 
 
There were plenty of different people’s stories featured here that spanned many backgrounds, which I enjoyed a lot and offered interesting insight. 
There were great chapters and some weaker ones, with some info seemingly contradicting and then flipping around (referencing the religious chapters mainly). Some parts could’ve gone deeper as well, like how the author is not a fan of the word ‘bitch’ as well as the N word in even a cultural context. It’s rare to hear this POV, so having further reasoning why she feels that way rather than just her saying she doesn’t like them would’ve been welcome.

In saying that though, I also think the author’s content could’ve been condensed down somewhat, as it did feel a bit repetitive at times.

[Carolyn J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although this book was published a decade ago, much of what Terrie M Williams discusses about her battle with depression, the real life accounts of other African Americans from all walks of life who suffer from depression, the misconceptions, stigma, denial and criminalization of those suffering with undiagnosed and diagnosed depression is only recently being acknowledged and discussed openly at home, at church, at the job, everywhere. Ms. Williams breaks down valuable information into relatable language about:
*what depression is
*the symptoms and signs
*how it manifests itself in everyday life
*how multifaceted it is
*how common it is
*how often it is misdiagnosed, if ever diagnosed
*the stigma
*the denial and pain
*the fear
*how we heal
*treatment and recovery
and so much more.

My favorite quote:
“Sitting with our pain, or even just being willing to try, is the key to healing. We want other people to understand our suffering: when they do, it’s great, and it can really contribute to our healing process. But if we don’t honor that suffering ourselves, if we do not acknowledge what is wrong and how wrong it is, no amount of sympathy or empathy from others will be enough to heal us.”
(pp. 277)

[Lafilleseule · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very cathartic and valuable read. I will definitely be coming back to it from time to time.

[Desera Favors · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really love this book, although I don'y agree with everything that Terrie said she had great insight on the general population of Blacks! This was a very inspirational and thought provoking book it gives most a since of urgency to Black mental and physical health.I wish I could buy a 100 copies of this book and just give it away to random Black people on the street. I believe this book is a very good intro to "Sacred Women" a book by Queen Afua the current book I am reading, in fact I was finishing this book as I was reading the other and I would find myself looking for quotes to share with people and forgot which book the quote was in. There is so much more to say about this book, it helped me realize that my constant emotional state was not because I was a bad person but because I wasn't making my mental and physical health a priority. I found meself saying no more often then I used to and not feeling bad for it. I also found myslef expressing my feeling more. I suggest this book to everyone who is feed up and wants to learn how to heal and help others. If you are wanting to read this book don't put it on a list of things to do just go to your nearest library or bookstore, buy/checkout and read were ever you are it will direct you on the right path to self love and self healing!

Black Power, Blac Love!

[Monique · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally a book about the one thing not discussed in the African American community, mental health. Williams works to start the conversation and dispel the stigma attached to depression and mental illness. I read this book years ago but recently re-discovered it on a hidden bookshelf. It speaks to me more now then it did back 2010. The pain is there..."it just looks like we're not hurting".

[Denise Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I turned each page I realized "oh my God! This is my life and I'm not alone." It was a true eye opener. Eventually I ended up seeing a therapist and she ended up reading the book as well. Check it out, it's well worth the read.

[Syvehlla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an informative, resourceful, relatable, and well-written and researched book. It brought me to tears several times. Highly recommend to anyone interested in gaining more knowledge on Black pain. It's full of stories from POC, and I loved every bit of it. Read it with an open mind.

[Destanye B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

So enjoyment is not how I felt about this book. I think it said a lot of important things and had many good points. Let's get into the pros and cons.------- SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT -----


PROS
- I think this book had many gems within it.
- I saw myself within some fo these chapters, which was heartbreaking.
-The last few chapters Chapters 7-9.

CONS
- The gems were spread throughout. Don't think it really got to the meat of things till the last 2 chapters 7-9. They were also shorter chapters.
- The beginning chapters were long. I didn't like the format of all the testimonials or stories. Especially as many as she used per chapter. Until we got to the end, it didn't feel like we were being educated on depression but more being told how other people dealt with depression. It felt like D-Nice this is my famous friend that I know because I worked for Essence, and this is their story.
- I also didn't like that she would just put quotes on all these pages which took me away from the story. I would have to stop one of her stories to read the quote then go back to the story.
- I also think they should have talked about other mental health issues like anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenia, --- really just stayed in the wheelhouse of depression

All in all, even though I have more cons than pros, I thought this was a decent book. I think for me if I'm going to read non-fiction, I want to hear more stats. Unless it's a memoir I don't want to hear people's stories I want facts or tangible tools to deal with things like that. I don't want to hear more from your friends but from black therapists in the field who can give us more information. If I did buy this book, I probably wouldn't revisit it because it's missing these things. She does give a lot of information in the last few chapters, but I want more.

[Tamara Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a must read book for black people since it addresses the rarely spoken topics of mental health as well as depression. Often black people have been told to hold on to their pain and not discuss their pain with anyone outside their family. Unfortunately, holding on to pain eventually ends up presenting itself in other ways such as overeating, overspending or abusing alcohol, sex or something else.

The book consists of nine chapters which range in topics from depression, superwoman syndrome, black men and depression, the young and the depression, loved ones can help, the black church and depression, healing in your own time, getting a diagnosis and getting the healing done. Along with additional resources for assistance such as books, websites, art and movies.


I appreciate the way that the chapters are written and the use of personal accounts of depression along with insight from the author. There are also quotes interjected during each of the chapters referring to depression and mental health as well. I really enjoyed this book since it explores an often neglected topic and gives ideas to assist people who may be depressed and are unaware of how to get help.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poignant and deeply thoughtful book.
I enjoyed the small blurbs about peoples experiences and quotes.

This book has a chapter and section for everyone. From depression due to childbirth, to suicide, to being a father, to joining a church, to fitting in. I think people from all walks of life can enjoy this book. I think it provides good insight to what people are feeling. I picked it up because I wanted to hear more about that insight.

The resources section is lacking and the book does not have a proper index as to where their work can be cited from. They will have passages with percentages and Notes that are to be read as fact but there is no indicator from where the source came from. The back of the book simply has an alphabetical index and resource section, unless you knew what you were looking for you wouldn’t be able to fact check many of the claims.

[Tia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this book and would've given it 5 stars but sometimes the passages didn't flow well; it was, at times, hard to tell if what I was reading were the words of the author or the contributors'. I also felt that the author missed a few symptoms of depression that can be overlooked. However, the book is great and I recommend that all, not just Black people, read this book.

[Teri Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very good and the stories were real.

[Joi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful information and stories. Relatable at times. I liked the topic and explanations. It felt long and repetitive.

[Rae Simpson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Minuteman.

[Tiara M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely buying this book! Loved it! Sad topic but very relevant.

[Audrey Shurns · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an informative and enlightening read. Alot of information to digest.

[Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was needed for me. I enjoyed her compassion and thorough research on the topic of depression. It felt as though I was listening to a wise Auntie who didn't judge, but cared.

[La Vonna · Rating 5 out of 5]

From what I have read so far, it is a powerful book. The stories really spoke to me because I felt what some of these women are going through. So far, I recommend it to everyone so they can have a better understanding as to what someone is going through. Anyone who needs help should get it and not be ashamed.

This book is right on point when it comes to the pain of black people, especially black women. It was emontional for me to read this because I felt it. This book may not help all of us, but it will help a lot of us as it should.

[Michael Glover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrie's book was very informative. I learned a lot more about depression and how it affects communities and individuals. Like the title states, “it just looks like we’re not hurting” is so true and you can’t tell if someone is going through something until they reveal it or something drastic happens. If you know someone who may be suffering from any form of depression, I recommend this book and also for those who would like to learn more. This is a really good book.

[Joshunda Sanders]

This book is pretty painful. I wouldn't recommend it. For the record, I didn't finish it. I got less than halfway through and tired of the "don't spend money on your weave, go to therapy!" sentences.

[Micola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book you can read about how black people suffer because they refuse to seek help!

[Ezraela-Baht · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are still at the bottom, (sorry not to offend anyone)