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Gentlewoman Urgently Seeks Husband
Forced to reexamine her ambition for a marriage based on love after being dragged by her mother to a meeting with two impoverished gentlewomen, Mrs. Bates and Miss Bates(from Jane Austen’s EMMA), Elizabeth Bennet is sent to Hunsford with orders to become a flirt and return married or not at all. Unfortunately her mother’s letters to Mr. Collins are misunderstood and the local gentry assume that she is ‘in a certain condition’.
You know that won’t end well.
You know that won’t end well.
334 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 7, 2017
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76 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
February 23, 2018
4.5 rounded up to 5 stars
I do enjoy this author's writing style! Mrs. Bennet (who's completely inappropriate even on the best of days) goes off the deep end when Mr. Bingley doesn't return to the neighborhood and Charlotte Lucas weds the man whose marriage proposal to Lizzy should have ensured a secure future for the Bennet family. This is previously unexplored territory that proves very interesting.
Mrs. Bennet's nerves disappear while she takes total control of the household, especially her daughters. The reader learns just how the obviously mismatched Mr. and Mrs. Bennet came to marry, as Mrs. B. instructs the girls on the art of catching a husband. Mere flirting isn't enough; among other lessons, she tells them bodices should be adjusted to show maximum cleavage, and if a man won't come to heel by other means, then compromise is necessary.
She demonstrates the fate that awaits her two eldest and most recalcitrant daughters. The three briefly visit Mrs. and Miss Bates (of Emma), where Jane and Elizabeth are aghast at their genteel poverty.
Upon returning to Longbourn, Mrs. B. makes arrangements for all the girls to be sent off husband-hunting except Mary, who she deems unmarriageable and fated to keep her mother company in her old age. Lydia goes to Brighton with Colonel and Mrs. Forster, Kitty and Jane to Cheapside (and Jane has explicit instructions to reconnect with the Bingleys), and Elizabeth is sent off to visit Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Lizzy is specifically told not to return home until she's married.
The very sensible Gardiners do their best to blunt the worst of Mrs. B's ill-conceived plans, but poor Elizabeth goes from dealing with crazy Mama B. to dealing with crazy Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine. Fortunately, Charlotte, Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne de Bourgh are sane and intervene when things really get out of hand.
And that's a really good thing because Lady C. somehow concludes she has been indirectly solicited by Mrs. B. for her invaluable assistance in finding an appropriate husband for Elizabeth. Nutty stuff here. She proves herself to be an inept matchmaker, especially with the misleading information she sends to entice Miss Bennet's prospective suitors to come a-calling.
Mrs. B, Lady C and Mr. Collins are exasperating antagonists but also entertaining. You can't help but recognize the absurdity of their thinking, even as you come to understand the roots for their illogic.
The sympathetic characters are also very well drawn. Jane, Darcy and Georgiana all suffer from crippling shyness. Anne de Bourgh is frail but far more intelligent and insightful than her mother. I especially love how Elizabeth attempts to rein in her wit, but it's so much a part of her that she truly can't control her impertinence. Charlotte seems cowed by her husband, but he definitely hasn't killed off all of her spunk. The Colonel, amiable though he appears most of the time, also shows his dangerous military-man-of-action side. All these characters are richly drawn, and this author really has a gift at using dialogue to help define them.
Darcy-and-Elizabeth interactions are nicely done. For once, their problems stem from external sources (the 3 characters mentioned above that you'll love to hate, as well as Wickham) rather than misunderstandings between the two. The trajectory of their relationship is sweet and believable.
There are very rare but problematic editing errors. In one or two cases a sentence is actually supposed to mean the opposite of what it states because "not" (or similar negative) was left out. Other missing words and misplaced commas occur elsewhere. There aren't many, but they are noticeable, especially since the rest of this is so well written.
Great story otherwise!
NOTE: Completely clean content
I do enjoy this author's writing style! Mrs. Bennet (who's completely inappropriate even on the best of days) goes off the deep end when Mr. Bingley doesn't return to the neighborhood and Charlotte Lucas weds the man whose marriage proposal to Lizzy should have ensured a secure future for the Bennet family. This is previously unexplored territory that proves very interesting.
Mrs. Bennet's nerves disappear while she takes total control of the household, especially her daughters. The reader learns just how the obviously mismatched Mr. and Mrs. Bennet came to marry, as Mrs. B. instructs the girls on the art of catching a husband. Mere flirting isn't enough; among other lessons, she tells them bodices should be adjusted to show maximum cleavage, and if a man won't come to heel by other means, then compromise is necessary.
She demonstrates the fate that awaits her two eldest and most recalcitrant daughters. The three briefly visit Mrs. and Miss Bates (of Emma), where Jane and Elizabeth are aghast at their genteel poverty.
Upon returning to Longbourn, Mrs. B. makes arrangements for all the girls to be sent off husband-hunting except Mary, who she deems unmarriageable and fated to keep her mother company in her old age. Lydia goes to Brighton with Colonel and Mrs. Forster, Kitty and Jane to Cheapside (and Jane has explicit instructions to reconnect with the Bingleys), and Elizabeth is sent off to visit Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Lizzy is specifically told not to return home until she's married.
The very sensible Gardiners do their best to blunt the worst of Mrs. B's ill-conceived plans, but poor Elizabeth goes from dealing with crazy Mama B. to dealing with crazy Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine. Fortunately, Charlotte, Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne de Bourgh are sane and intervene when things really get out of hand.
And that's a really good thing because Lady C. somehow concludes she has been indirectly solicited by Mrs. B. for her invaluable assistance in finding an appropriate husband for Elizabeth. Nutty stuff here. She proves herself to be an inept matchmaker, especially with the misleading information she sends to entice Miss Bennet's prospective suitors to come a-calling.
Mrs. B, Lady C and Mr. Collins are exasperating antagonists but also entertaining. You can't help but recognize the absurdity of their thinking, even as you come to understand the roots for their illogic.
The sympathetic characters are also very well drawn. Jane, Darcy and Georgiana all suffer from crippling shyness. Anne de Bourgh is frail but far more intelligent and insightful than her mother. I especially love how Elizabeth attempts to rein in her wit, but it's so much a part of her that she truly can't control her impertinence. Charlotte seems cowed by her husband, but he definitely hasn't killed off all of her spunk. The Colonel, amiable though he appears most of the time, also shows his dangerous military-man-of-action side. All these characters are richly drawn, and this author really has a gift at using dialogue to help define them.
Darcy-and-Elizabeth interactions are nicely done. For once, their problems stem from external sources (the 3 characters mentioned above that you'll love to hate, as well as Wickham) rather than misunderstandings between the two. The trajectory of their relationship is sweet and believable.
There are very rare but problematic editing errors. In one or two cases a sentence is actually supposed to mean the opposite of what it states because "not" (or similar negative) was left out. Other missing words and misplaced commas occur elsewhere. There aren't many, but they are noticeable, especially since the rest of this is so well written.
Great story otherwise!
NOTE: Completely clean content
April 16, 2020
There's a real sense of desperation when you grow up in poverty. – Ray LaMontagne
Mama Bennet is desperate!
Although she wasn’t raised in poverty, she has managed to marry above her beginnings and is desperate not to end her life in poverty. In her desperation she physically abuses Elizabeth (and once even Lydia) and mentally abuses the entire family. Never one for confrontation, Mr. Bennet gives up entirely and lets his wife decide the fate of the girls.
We all need money, but there are degrees of desperation. – Anthony Burgess
Mama Bennet is desperate!
Although she wasn’t raised in poverty, she has managed to marry above her beginnings and is desperate not to end her life in poverty. In her desperation she physically abuses Elizabeth (and once even Lydia) and mentally abuses the entire family. Never one for confrontation, Mr. Bennet gives up entirely and lets his wife decide the fate of the girls.
We all need money, but there are degrees of desperation. – Anthony Burgess
July 7, 2017
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.- Sam Levenson
This is a very unique P&P what if that imagines that following Bingley's departure and Charlotte Collins (nee Lucas) nuptials Mrs. Bennet becomes rather manic (my description not the author's). First she begins to physically abuse Lizzy by pinching her repeatedly. Then she rushes through the house insisting that her daughters have allowed their suitors to escape. Then she takes Jane and Lizzy on a road trip to Highbury to visit the Misses Bates (Emma). The purpose of this visit is to show them how miserly the ladies existence is and how far they have fallen to 'genteel poverty'. On the ride home she explains to Jane and Lizzy how they must effect a compromise to force the hand of their (imaginary) suitors.
Once returned to Longbourn she then decides it is time for her girls to lower their necklines and get to work catching husbands. And where better to do than outside of Meryton? So Lydia is sent off with the Forresters; Col. & Jo (?? Jo her name is Harriet as per JA). Jane & Kitty are sent to the Gardiners and Lizzy is banished; and there is no other word for it, to Kent. while Mary, who has been pre-selected by Mrs. Bennet to be her companion is kept home.
Mr. Bennet makes zero effort to check Mrs. Bennet; or pack her off to Bedlam. We will learn that he has truly been an indolent master, landowner and father. Lizzy is forbidden to return to Longbourn unwed.
Once they arrive in London Mrs. Gardiner tries to inject some sanity into the proposal but is unable to keep Lizzy in London. [This is a plot point but it really annoys me when authors make the clever, wealthy, Gardiners into spineless idiots]
Once Lizzy arrives in Kent she realizes that Mr. Collins is as equally unhinged as Mrs. Bennet. Charlotte is emotionally abused and terrorized by his obsessive worship of his esteemed patroness. He is absolutely over the top and truly scary.
Luckily Lady Catherine's nephews are visiting and Lizzy gets occasional breaks from the lunacy; while Charlotte handles him her own way.
Lizzy and Mr. Darcy quickly get past Prejudices; he apologizes for the slight at the assembly; realizes that Jane is also tragically shy and soon she learns most of the truth of Wickham. But there is still more drama to come. As Mr. Collins has discovered Mrs. Collins' correspondence from Mrs. Bennet and he and Lady Catherine decide that Miss Elizabeth must be married off. Mrs. Bennet's language leads Lady Catherine to conclude that Lizzy is with child outside of wedlock and she is determined to get rid of her.
This Lady Catherine is physically not as JA described, she is a tiny woman. So unsuitable suitors arrive at Rosings to pay call to Miss Bennet. Obviously Darcy and even Col. Fitzwilliam are appalled and Lizzy is furious. However she is trying not to be so witty and judgemental.
And the drama drags on and on with Collins getting more and more crazy and violent, Charlotte developing a spine and Darcy proposing to Lizzy and being accepted. While all this has been going on Miss Bennet has been introduced to Miss Darcy and reunited with Mr. Bingley.
When Lizzy returns to London Mrs. Bennet appears [I am hating Mr. Bennet so much at this point - leave your book room and control your wife man.] She is totally Obnoxious, Vile and Stupid. She refuses to listen to anyone and is intent upon having her way regardless of the distress it causes her daughters.
Even Mrs. Gardiner's plans and plottings are for naught when Mamma Bennett gets her mouth running. [I am hating Mr. Bennet so much at this point - leave your book room and control your wife man.] So Jane and Lizzy's HEAs will be challenged by Mrs. Bennet's crazed mind and Mr. Wickham's machinations.
Mrs. Bennet is fit for Bedlam and there is not one man to rid me of this meddlesome woman. The epilogue saves the remaining Bennet girls but allows Mr & Mrs. Bennet to go unpunished. And that pissed me off.
Spelling errors Boarder for border, reign for rein and Cheepside (Where Peeps come from?) for Cheapside.
3.5 rounded up to 4
This is a very unique P&P what if that imagines that following Bingley's departure and Charlotte Collins (nee Lucas) nuptials Mrs. Bennet becomes rather manic (my description not the author's). First she begins to physically abuse Lizzy by pinching her repeatedly. Then she rushes through the house insisting that her daughters have allowed their suitors to escape. Then she takes Jane and Lizzy on a road trip to Highbury to visit the Misses Bates (Emma). The purpose of this visit is to show them how miserly the ladies existence is and how far they have fallen to 'genteel poverty'. On the ride home she explains to Jane and Lizzy how they must effect a compromise to force the hand of their (imaginary) suitors.
Once returned to Longbourn she then decides it is time for her girls to lower their necklines and get to work catching husbands. And where better to do than outside of Meryton? So Lydia is sent off with the Forresters; Col. & Jo (?? Jo her name is Harriet as per JA). Jane & Kitty are sent to the Gardiners and Lizzy is banished; and there is no other word for it, to Kent. while Mary, who has been pre-selected by Mrs. Bennet to be her companion is kept home.
Mr. Bennet makes zero effort to check Mrs. Bennet; or pack her off to Bedlam. We will learn that he has truly been an indolent master, landowner and father. Lizzy is forbidden to return to Longbourn unwed.
Once they arrive in London Mrs. Gardiner tries to inject some sanity into the proposal but is unable to keep Lizzy in London. [This is a plot point but it really annoys me when authors make the clever, wealthy, Gardiners into spineless idiots]
Once Lizzy arrives in Kent she realizes that Mr. Collins is as equally unhinged as Mrs. Bennet. Charlotte is emotionally abused and terrorized by his obsessive worship of his esteemed patroness. He is absolutely over the top and truly scary.
Luckily Lady Catherine's nephews are visiting and Lizzy gets occasional breaks from the lunacy; while Charlotte handles him her own way.
Lizzy and Mr. Darcy quickly get past Prejudices; he apologizes for the slight at the assembly; realizes that Jane is also tragically shy and soon she learns most of the truth of Wickham. But there is still more drama to come. As Mr. Collins has discovered Mrs. Collins' correspondence from Mrs. Bennet and he and Lady Catherine decide that Miss Elizabeth must be married off. Mrs. Bennet's language leads Lady Catherine to conclude that Lizzy is with child outside of wedlock and she is determined to get rid of her.
This Lady Catherine is physically not as JA described, she is a tiny woman. So unsuitable suitors arrive at Rosings to pay call to Miss Bennet. Obviously Darcy and even Col. Fitzwilliam are appalled and Lizzy is furious. However she is trying not to be so witty and judgemental.
And the drama drags on and on with Collins getting more and more crazy and violent, Charlotte developing a spine and Darcy proposing to Lizzy and being accepted. While all this has been going on Miss Bennet has been introduced to Miss Darcy and reunited with Mr. Bingley.
When Lizzy returns to London Mrs. Bennet appears [I am hating Mr. Bennet so much at this point - leave your book room and control your wife man.] She is totally Obnoxious, Vile and Stupid. She refuses to listen to anyone and is intent upon having her way regardless of the distress it causes her daughters.
Even Mrs. Gardiner's plans and plottings are for naught when Mamma Bennett gets her mouth running. [I am hating Mr. Bennet so much at this point - leave your book room and control your wife man.] So Jane and Lizzy's HEAs will be challenged by Mrs. Bennet's crazed mind and Mr. Wickham's machinations.
Mrs. Bennet is fit for Bedlam and there is not one man to rid me of this meddlesome woman. The epilogue saves the remaining Bennet girls but allows Mr & Mrs. Bennet to go unpunished. And that pissed me off.
Spelling errors Boarder for border, reign for rein and Cheepside (Where Peeps come from?) for Cheapside.
3.5 rounded up to 4
August 24, 2017
Mrs. Bennet is batshit crazy. Mr. Collins is batshit crazy. Lady Catherine isn't quite batshit crazy, but still crazy. Wickham is evil and Mr. Bennet can't be bothered. While some characters were a little over the top, our beloved Lizzie & Darcy's storyline was lovely. An enjoyable P&P variation.
April 14, 2020
4.5 rounded up to 5 stars
There are several excellent reviews already posted. With 337 pages it is impossible to hit all the important points especially if one does not want to post spoilers. With that said:
More than one character is painted with a heavy brush magnifying their bad, even to the point of evil, characteristics. Mrs. Bennet is the first...as she drags Jane and Elizabeth, who have not in one way or another not ended up engaged to men her mother expected they would to Highbury. She takes them to visit Mrs. & Miss Bates (as in Emma) to show them firsthand what happens when a gentlewoman doesn't marry and has no one to support her as she ages. Mrs. Bennet then demands that they both use any means, even compromise, to "capture" a husband as she sends them off: Jane to the Gardiners and Elizabeth to the Collins (banished, don't come back without a husband). Ironically the letter she sends to Hunsford in its demands that Elizabeth be matched with a man describes that demand in such a way that it is translated to mean that Elizabeth is in a family way and cannot stay in Hertfordshire because of this. Mr. Bennet does nothing to change his wife's actions and so he, too, is even more negligent than in canon.
Collins' kowtowing to Lady Catherine has him giving her the letters (which Charlotte had hidden away) and thus Lady Catherine comes up with various men whom she believes might accept Elizabeth, even in her enceinte state. Fortunately Anne, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy witness and are aghast at this matchmaking and we read as they each react in their own way to set certain things right.
We do not have that awful "Hunsford" proposal of canon although we do read of a proposal. The Colonel, among others, sees that Darcy is in love and helps out, even giving him a suggestion about what a proposal should sound like. Meanwhile, Darcy takes action to correct his actions with Bingley and along with the Colonel, informs Elizabeth as to the truth about Wickham (without naming his sister as the recent victim to his seductions).
Lydia has gone off to Brighton but the Gardiners have another plan to help control Lydia's behavior.
One important point is that the effects of three characters, Jane, Georgiana & Darcy, being painfully shy is discussed and examined and so Elizabeth begins to attempt to also control some of her "witty" retorts as she interacts with others in Kent.
I have to agree that the ending was not as complete as I would have liked nor did certain characters have changes made to their behaviors. I would have liked to have read more in an epilogue.
I was drawn in and kept turning pages as I read. And so I recommend this book.
There are several excellent reviews already posted. With 337 pages it is impossible to hit all the important points especially if one does not want to post spoilers. With that said:
More than one character is painted with a heavy brush magnifying their bad, even to the point of evil, characteristics. Mrs. Bennet is the first...as she drags Jane and Elizabeth, who have not in one way or another not ended up engaged to men her mother expected they would to Highbury. She takes them to visit Mrs. & Miss Bates (as in Emma) to show them firsthand what happens when a gentlewoman doesn't marry and has no one to support her as she ages. Mrs. Bennet then demands that they both use any means, even compromise, to "capture" a husband as she sends them off: Jane to the Gardiners and Elizabeth to the Collins (banished, don't come back without a husband). Ironically the letter she sends to Hunsford in its demands that Elizabeth be matched with a man describes that demand in such a way that it is translated to mean that Elizabeth is in a family way and cannot stay in Hertfordshire because of this. Mr. Bennet does nothing to change his wife's actions and so he, too, is even more negligent than in canon.
Collins' kowtowing to Lady Catherine has him giving her the letters (which Charlotte had hidden away) and thus Lady Catherine comes up with various men whom she believes might accept Elizabeth, even in her enceinte state. Fortunately Anne, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy witness and are aghast at this matchmaking and we read as they each react in their own way to set certain things right.
We do not have that awful "Hunsford" proposal of canon although we do read of a proposal. The Colonel, among others, sees that Darcy is in love and helps out, even giving him a suggestion about what a proposal should sound like. Meanwhile, Darcy takes action to correct his actions with Bingley and along with the Colonel, informs Elizabeth as to the truth about Wickham (without naming his sister as the recent victim to his seductions).
Lydia has gone off to Brighton but the Gardiners have another plan to help control Lydia's behavior.
One important point is that the effects of three characters, Jane, Georgiana & Darcy, being painfully shy is discussed and examined and so Elizabeth begins to attempt to also control some of her "witty" retorts as she interacts with others in Kent.
I have to agree that the ending was not as complete as I would have liked nor did certain characters have changes made to their behaviors. I would have liked to have read more in an epilogue.
I was drawn in and kept turning pages as I read. And so I recommend this book.
April 17, 2023
Oh Mrs. Bennet
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 7, 2019
This book portrayed a very determined mother intent on getting her daughters married despite the cost to the daughters’ happiness. All the characters that annoy us in canon, are extremely vexing in this tale. It wasn’t too badly written, with few grammatical errors, but I just didn’t enjoy it as well as other variations I’ve read.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 7, 2019
This book portrayed a very determined mother intent on getting her daughters married despite the cost to the daughters’ happiness. All the characters that annoy us in canon, are extremely vexing in this tale. It wasn’t too badly written, with few grammatical errors, but I just didn’t enjoy it as well as other variations I’ve read.
June 3, 2021
Mrs. Bennet and Lady C. could have been sisters, or at the very least had a competition who is the worst mother in the land.
This was a nice switch up, as Elizabeth was so busy fending off unwanted attention there was no time to dwell on Darcy's usual confusion.
Even ended with a small scene of drama.
Mr. Bennet was a disappointment.
This was a nice switch up, as Elizabeth was so busy fending off unwanted attention there was no time to dwell on Darcy's usual confusion.
Even ended with a small scene of drama.
Mr. Bennet was a disappointment.
April 14, 2020
Good story, horrible ending
This is a story about how horrible Mrs. Bennet and Lydia could be, given how stupid they are. Mr. Bennet and Kitty are just a little bit worse than their P&P characters.
The story is nonstop action of Mrs. Bennet doing everything she can think of to get her daughters married...in anyway she can. She is constantly doing things that could ruin the family’s reputation. The author tries to plot ways Mrs B is saved from causing ruination but it isn’t believable. The last chapter the improprieties are too numerous to hide so the plot whitewashes the cover up and the story ends.
Perhaps this was meant to be a funny romp of poor manners but I found myself just gritting my teeth and was just glad to finish it.
I don’t recommend this book.
This is a story about how horrible Mrs. Bennet and Lydia could be, given how stupid they are. Mr. Bennet and Kitty are just a little bit worse than their P&P characters.
The story is nonstop action of Mrs. Bennet doing everything she can think of to get her daughters married...in anyway she can. She is constantly doing things that could ruin the family’s reputation. The author tries to plot ways Mrs B is saved from causing ruination but it isn’t believable. The last chapter the improprieties are too numerous to hide so the plot whitewashes the cover up and the story ends.
Perhaps this was meant to be a funny romp of poor manners but I found myself just gritting my teeth and was just glad to finish it.
I don’t recommend this book.
September 15, 2017
Be prepared to hate Mrs. Bennett
If you don't already hate her (I do most of the time....manipulative mothers area mild trigger) I hate her, but it feels so justices. The story had a good flow, I appreciated that Darcy figured some of the more important emotional stuff out for himself. As always, I love Richard Fitzwilliam... who doesn't. I really enjoyed the book and I think that if you're a fan fiction fan, you'll enjoy the story as well.
If you don't already hate her (I do most of the time....manipulative mothers area mild trigger) I hate her, but it feels so justices. The story had a good flow, I appreciated that Darcy figured some of the more important emotional stuff out for himself. As always, I love Richard Fitzwilliam... who doesn't. I really enjoyed the book and I think that if you're a fan fiction fan, you'll enjoy the story as well.
May 1, 2020
I can't find the words better than other reviewers. I will say this was shockingly funny at parts because Mrs Bennet was so over the top. I could not have even dreamed up some of her shocking statements. She was a force in this story.
June 24, 2019
The adults are out of control in this one. We suspect some of these things about Mrs. Bennett (and maybe even Lady Catherine with a heavy handed imagination), but Lord have mercy, they are unleashed here. It was entertaining, even though Lizzy had the good sense to set most of it aside. Truth be told, I thought the writing was solid (lots of Regency-era idiosyncratic phrases to keep it interesting). I found the E&D story itself the least interesting element, but there was enough else to entertain that it wasn't missed.
July 19, 2017
4.5 Rounded Up - A very unusual occurrence for me.
A very enjoyable book, only diminished in rating because the ending came quickly and I craved a bit more revenge. These villains were truly heinous and the heroes/heroines were masterfully drawn to the period. Imagine a cast of P&P villains where Miss Bingley is only disparaged by reference. Clever author! And a Mrs. Bennet you want to slap on every page where she appears. Great diversionary story.
A very enjoyable book, only diminished in rating because the ending came quickly and I craved a bit more revenge. These villains were truly heinous and the heroes/heroines were masterfully drawn to the period. Imagine a cast of P&P villains where Miss Bingley is only disparaged by reference. Clever author! And a Mrs. Bennet you want to slap on every page where she appears. Great diversionary story.
January 13, 2019
Avid Reader
I loved this book, but I agree with another reviewer; the ending was too abrupt. Once Darcy had everyone at Pemberly, it would have been nice to read about Elizabeth 's reception, how she handled her mother and two younger sisters, and the children of Bingley and Darcy. Mr. Collins was more comical than ever because Charlotte finally put him in his place.
I loved this book, but I agree with another reviewer; the ending was too abrupt. Once Darcy had everyone at Pemberly, it would have been nice to read about Elizabeth 's reception, how she handled her mother and two younger sisters, and the children of Bingley and Darcy. Mr. Collins was more comical than ever because Charlotte finally put him in his place.
May 22, 2019
Hard to endure
I have respect for this author's writing talent, having read two other of her books prior to this. She has a way with humor and the ability to craft a good yarn. However, I find that no amount of humor can make up for characters that annoy too much, or are downright abusive. This book is filled with such people, to the point that I found myself cringing and wanting to skim over many of the scenes. Although the first several chapters are perhaps supposed to illustrate Mrs. Bennett 's ridiculous nature, it wasn't at all funny how she decided to advise her daughters on getting husbands, and then threatened them if they failed. Mr. Bennett's complete withdrawal from responsibility for his daughters was abuse of a different kind, abuse by omission of his protection.
Then comes Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine, Lydia, and various suitors in Hunsford, horrible people all. The writing seemed to want to make fun of these person's extremely unpleasant behavior, but I just couldn't find anything to laugh about. Our dear heroine Elizabeth had to endure attack after attack, and bear up under all this stress in her usual indomitable way. It almost made me want to quit the book before finishing. Who wants to read about so much suffering when you're expecting a light hearted romance?
As the title indicates, the story is about Mrs. Bennett 's demand that all the girls go forth immediately to pursue marriages, using feminine arts and allurements, and scandal and compromises if necessary. They are not to return home unless they succeed. In the most plain and disgusting language, they are told to flaunt their assets, flirt shamelessly, and grasp wantonly. The girls are divided up and sent in different directions, given their orders and pushed out the door of their home. This trauma is supposed to be humorous?
Thank goodness for Aunt and uncle Gardiner, and Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. These are the only people you can like (besides Elizabeth and Jane) in this sad tale, the only people with any sense or compassion. The romance of Elizabeth and Darcy is the saving grace of the book, and even that is polluted by the idiots.
I love humor in a story, and appreciate characters that can laugh at themselves, or be found ridiculous in a light hearted way. Maybe that was the intent here, but it didn't work. Although it is well written, it was too painful to slog through.
I have respect for this author's writing talent, having read two other of her books prior to this. She has a way with humor and the ability to craft a good yarn. However, I find that no amount of humor can make up for characters that annoy too much, or are downright abusive. This book is filled with such people, to the point that I found myself cringing and wanting to skim over many of the scenes. Although the first several chapters are perhaps supposed to illustrate Mrs. Bennett 's ridiculous nature, it wasn't at all funny how she decided to advise her daughters on getting husbands, and then threatened them if they failed. Mr. Bennett's complete withdrawal from responsibility for his daughters was abuse of a different kind, abuse by omission of his protection.
Then comes Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine, Lydia, and various suitors in Hunsford, horrible people all. The writing seemed to want to make fun of these person's extremely unpleasant behavior, but I just couldn't find anything to laugh about. Our dear heroine Elizabeth had to endure attack after attack, and bear up under all this stress in her usual indomitable way. It almost made me want to quit the book before finishing. Who wants to read about so much suffering when you're expecting a light hearted romance?
As the title indicates, the story is about Mrs. Bennett 's demand that all the girls go forth immediately to pursue marriages, using feminine arts and allurements, and scandal and compromises if necessary. They are not to return home unless they succeed. In the most plain and disgusting language, they are told to flaunt their assets, flirt shamelessly, and grasp wantonly. The girls are divided up and sent in different directions, given their orders and pushed out the door of their home. This trauma is supposed to be humorous?
Thank goodness for Aunt and uncle Gardiner, and Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. These are the only people you can like (besides Elizabeth and Jane) in this sad tale, the only people with any sense or compassion. The romance of Elizabeth and Darcy is the saving grace of the book, and even that is polluted by the idiots.
I love humor in a story, and appreciate characters that can laugh at themselves, or be found ridiculous in a light hearted way. Maybe that was the intent here, but it didn't work. Although it is well written, it was too painful to slog through.
March 24, 2021
Probably actually a 4.5 because the ending feels rushed, but easily the funniest JAFF I have read in some time.
Mrs. Bennet’s nerves finally get the best of her. Terrified that her daughters will never marry, she has them visit another novel to see how bad things can get.
Which is to say, they go to Highbury to meet Mrs. and Miss Bates.
She then divides her girls up to send them where they’ll have the best chances of finding husbands: Lydia heads to Brighton, Kitty and Jane are shipped off to London to stay with the Gardiners, and Lizzy is sent off to visit the newlywed Collinses. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennet has written a letter to Mr. Collins and Charlotte about how Lizzy needs to find a husband NOW. Mr. Collins, more unfortunately, shares this with Lady Catherine, who decides to find Lizzy a husband as a way of encouraging Anne to marry Darcy. (Hey, in the twisted mind of Lady Catherine de Bourgh it makes sense.).
The best part of the novel comes as Lizzy tries to discourage the suitors Lady Catherine has approved ( including one who is rumored to have killed his horse and his wife—though not, it is noted, in the same day). There are some truly laugh-out-loud moments there, especially as Charlotte asserts herself with regard to her husband’s worshipful attitude toward Lady Catherine. The last chapter feels a bit rushed, with the cliche of a Wickham abduction—what is it with every single JAFF novel using that cliche these days? Overall, however, this is the funniest JAFF I’ve read in ages.
And bonus points to the author for a beautifully drawn portrait of the characters from Emma!
Mrs. Bennet’s nerves finally get the best of her. Terrified that her daughters will never marry, she has them visit another novel to see how bad things can get.
Which is to say, they go to Highbury to meet Mrs. and Miss Bates.
She then divides her girls up to send them where they’ll have the best chances of finding husbands: Lydia heads to Brighton, Kitty and Jane are shipped off to London to stay with the Gardiners, and Lizzy is sent off to visit the newlywed Collinses. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennet has written a letter to Mr. Collins and Charlotte about how Lizzy needs to find a husband NOW. Mr. Collins, more unfortunately, shares this with Lady Catherine, who decides to find Lizzy a husband as a way of encouraging Anne to marry Darcy. (Hey, in the twisted mind of Lady Catherine de Bourgh it makes sense.).
The best part of the novel comes as Lizzy tries to discourage the suitors Lady Catherine has approved ( including one who is rumored to have killed his horse and his wife—though not, it is noted, in the same day). There are some truly laugh-out-loud moments there, especially as Charlotte asserts herself with regard to her husband’s worshipful attitude toward Lady Catherine. The last chapter feels a bit rushed, with the cliche of a Wickham abduction—what is it with every single JAFF novel using that cliche these days? Overall, however, this is the funniest JAFF I’ve read in ages.
And bonus points to the author for a beautifully drawn portrait of the characters from Emma!
April 20, 2019
FOBILES OF PEOPLE'S SOCIAL AMBITIONS
4 STARS for this delicious intertwining well written storyline of sisters, but mainly Elizabeth or Lizzie, and her effort to avoid her crass mother's attempts of having her marry virtually anyone. Yes, as long as they are male, with two parlors. Unfortunately, this goes for her other 4 sisters as well. Umm, except Mary whom is declared plain & shall be her mother's companion in her old age. Finally, add the gentlemans' relatives & friends especially Lizzie's Mr Darcy and you have oodles of family from both sides that even the reader would not want to have for the holidays. It is in the Regency Historical Era but not in the ballrooms of the Ton. It will have you laughing, shrugging and have you surprised with I can' she said or did that.
16 & UP. SEXUAL CONTENT: NO Virginal Kissing Only. No Foul Language
4 STARS for this delicious intertwining well written storyline of sisters, but mainly Elizabeth or Lizzie, and her effort to avoid her crass mother's attempts of having her marry virtually anyone. Yes, as long as they are male, with two parlors. Unfortunately, this goes for her other 4 sisters as well. Umm, except Mary whom is declared plain & shall be her mother's companion in her old age. Finally, add the gentlemans' relatives & friends especially Lizzie's Mr Darcy and you have oodles of family from both sides that even the reader would not want to have for the holidays. It is in the Regency Historical Era but not in the ballrooms of the Ton. It will have you laughing, shrugging and have you surprised with I can' she said or did that.
16 & UP. SEXUAL CONTENT: NO Virginal Kissing Only. No Foul Language
December 31, 2019
Good
This is a fairly easy read, and it had original and interesting twists on familiar characters and plots. I’m a little unconvinced by Mr. Collins’ complete lack of any intelligence at all. He’s more of a caricature of a caricature. So too with Mrs. Bennet and Lydia. I’m addition, Jane’s crippling shyness I can go with, but her portrayal as a weepy, delicate female doesn’t work for me. That said, those are personal preferences. There were a few distracting typos and such here and there, and the reference to “the headache” over and over instead of “a headache” was a little odd. Honestly, this is an enjoyable read, and I particularly love Charlotte’s character. I give it a solid three and a half stars (rounded up to four) and a recommendation for reading.
This is a fairly easy read, and it had original and interesting twists on familiar characters and plots. I’m a little unconvinced by Mr. Collins’ complete lack of any intelligence at all. He’s more of a caricature of a caricature. So too with Mrs. Bennet and Lydia. I’m addition, Jane’s crippling shyness I can go with, but her portrayal as a weepy, delicate female doesn’t work for me. That said, those are personal preferences. There were a few distracting typos and such here and there, and the reference to “the headache” over and over instead of “a headache” was a little odd. Honestly, this is an enjoyable read, and I particularly love Charlotte’s character. I give it a solid three and a half stars (rounded up to four) and a recommendation for reading.
April 12, 2020
This P&P variation begins after the Netherfield Ball and the failure of Bingley to propose. So Mrs Bennet decides to take charge, Lydia is sent to Brighton, Jane and Kitty to the Gardiners and Elizabeth to Hunsford. Obviously the unmarriageable, according to Mrs Bennet, Mary stays at home.
Most of the story involves Elizabeth and Darcy in Kent. I would have liked to have read about Mary marrying, just to annoy Mrs Bennet (but not to a vicar), and more about the other sisters as well.
An enjoyable and well-written variation
Most of the story involves Elizabeth and Darcy in Kent. I would have liked to have read about Mary marrying, just to annoy Mrs Bennet (but not to a vicar), and more about the other sisters as well.
An enjoyable and well-written variation
April 3, 2020
Had many issues with it but at least there is happy ending
To be honest, my mind is so fool of Ruined Forever, first 3 chapters, I don't remember what I thought of this book. Mrs. Bennet is irredeemable, really horrid. Darcy's good. Anne is a little too weak. I made so many notes, likely derogatory, I cannot even review them all.
To be honest, my mind is so fool of Ruined Forever, first 3 chapters, I don't remember what I thought of this book. Mrs. Bennet is irredeemable, really horrid. Darcy's good. Anne is a little too weak. I made so many notes, likely derogatory, I cannot even review them all.
March 18, 2021
Mrs. Bennet writes to the Collinses that Elizabeth must not return home unmarried and it gets misunderstood by the local gossips. I liked this fresh twist and the way Elizabeth had to . But whatever happened to Lady Catherine and Anne? The action bit in the end was a bit unnecessary to me .
There are three footnotes in the Kindle version that have no text in them.
There are three footnotes in the Kindle version that have no text in them.
July 21, 2017
Hilarious bit of fan fiction
Needs an editor for typos, otherwise an interesting take on 'what if' circumstances were slightly different and the bad guys actually got what they deserved and underserved characters received a little more attention.
Needs an editor for typos, otherwise an interesting take on 'what if' circumstances were slightly different and the bad guys actually got what they deserved and underserved characters received a little more attention.
August 21, 2017
Happy ending for all (except Wickham)
This is a beautifully plotted and well written conclusion to Miss Austen's story. It could use some proofreading in parts but is generally of excellent quality.
This is a beautifully plotted and well written conclusion to Miss Austen's story. It could use some proofreading in parts but is generally of excellent quality.
April 3, 2019
If you like a horrid Mrs. Bennet...
Good story, a more aware Darcy, Bennet daughters quite put upon by their mother!! Wonderful how Darcy protected Litzy from a horrid Collins. And great to see Mother Bennet get her just reward at the end!!
Good story, a more aware Darcy, Bennet daughters quite put upon by their mother!! Wonderful how Darcy protected Litzy from a horrid Collins. And great to see Mother Bennet get her just reward at the end!!
August 4, 2019
I enjoyed this book very much. The writing style is very good and the storyline was different and refreshing. I loved the characters, especially Charlotte, as she firmly stands beside her friend in an effort to protect her and her reputation. Great book!
March 19, 2021
Excellent
Almost like reading Jane Austen except for the final chapter. A good alternative storyline. A happy ending but I didn't like the matriarchal disrespect at the end. It was too "snowflake" era rather than subdued in a typical Jane Austen way.
Almost like reading Jane Austen except for the final chapter. A good alternative storyline. A happy ending but I didn't like the matriarchal disrespect at the end. It was too "snowflake" era rather than subdued in a typical Jane Austen way.
April 2, 2021
Interesting
The plot was good. Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine were way beyond their nature. Charlotte finally stood up to her husband.
I loved this version of Mr. Bingley, and that he was the one to deal with Wickham.
The plot was good. Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine were way beyond their nature. Charlotte finally stood up to her husband.
I loved this version of Mr. Bingley, and that he was the one to deal with Wickham.
January 14, 2018
A thoroughly enjoyable starting from the point where Charlotte Lucas marries Mr Collins, and taking a different course to the original. The characters of people like Mr Collins and Mrs Bennet are developed further than Austen did, with entertaining results. Recommended.
April 12, 2019
Very well written, but man. I stand by my mid-reading assessment: Pride and Prejudice, but everyone is awful
April 18, 2020
Hilar and cute
That Mr Collins is something all right. Mrs Bennet and her words get poor Elizabeth in trouble. Hilarious as Darcy saves the day. Highly recommended to read
That Mr Collins is something all right. Mrs Bennet and her words get poor Elizabeth in trouble. Hilarious as Darcy saves the day. Highly recommended to read
October 12, 2020
I enjoyed this book. It took Mrs. Bennett's desire to marry her daughters to the extreme and was believable. Elizabeth was well written and remained true to her character in the book.
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